Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: Barbara Brodsky

  • Awaken the New Species

    We must not wish
    for the disappearance
    of our troubles
    but for the grace
    to transform them.

    ~ Simone Weil

    Yesterday John did not mention my blog post, so I did not share it with him. I watched the choice points for stories to arise: he doesn’t really care; he still does not value what I write and share; I won’t bring it up unless he mentions it…. on and on and on the ego drives us away from peace, if we allow it.

    Last night I turned on my heated mattress pad and was heading to the shower looking forward to crawling into bed early before I realized just how early it was. If I set the manual clocks to the end of daylight savings at that moment, I would have been going to bed at 6:45 pm!

    Ugh…

    So, I came into the office and surfed for something enlightening, settling on a talk by Barbara Marx Hubbard, an American futurist, author and public speaker. In Awakening the New Species in You, Barbara opened shared how she recognized her life purpose as — “I am helping the noosphere to get its collective eyes.”

    Barbara’s vocation was/is to be a communicator and teacher about the history of this planet, the current events, and our opportunity for conscious evolution.

    (According to the World Wide Fund for Nature’s 2020 Living Planet Report, wildlife populations have declined by 68% since 1970 as a result of overconsumption, population growth and intensive farming, which is further evidence that humans have unleashed a sixth mass extinction event.
    ~ NationalGeographic.com )

    Barbara’s message prepared me for a good night’s rest and for today’s post:

    “We are at a vital shift point where our own actions could lead to greater extinction, or our own actions could lead to greater evolution, or conscious evolution.”

    We are at choice to help the nervous system of humanity devolve or evolve! What we do with our energies each moment makes a contribution.

    “Our crisis is a birth. We are one living system and we have come to the limit of one phase of natural growth on a finite planet We must learn ethical evolution quickly As we seek to facilitate a gentle birth, a graceful and nonviolent transition to the next stage of our evolution, we will discover a natural pattern, a design of our birth transition, and develop a plan to cooperate with this design.”

    This morning, I read the transcript of Dharma Path class from Tuesday, October 27, 2020. From Barbara Brodsky and Aaron:

      Let’s start at the end, what you hope to bring forth this year: To learn how to co-create with love. To co-create in your own body, mind, spirit. To co-create in the world. To do this work can only happen from less of the ego self and more of the awakened heart/mind, as I like to call it. You cannot co-create for the highest good of all beings and still be centered in the ego. It doesn’t mean there will be no ego, but there will be ways of bypassing that ego, not getting caught up in the ego’s stories.

    This brings to mind The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz:

    Agreement 1: Be Impeccable With Your Word.
    Agreement 2: Don’t Take Anything Personally.
    Agreement 3: Don’t Make Assumptions.
    Agreement 4: Always Do Your Best.

    These agreements are a pathway we can all walk making room for the ego, without getting caught up in the stories.

      … the ego self is the outer clothing. We don’t say, “Barbara is a blue vest.” It’s just something she’s wearing today. The ego, the thoughts, the body, all of these attributes of the self are precious, but they are not your essence.

    “Our crisis is a birth. We are one living system and we have come to the limit of one phase of natural growth on a finite planet We must learn ethical evolution quickly As we seek to facilitate a gentle birth, a graceful and nonviolent transition to the next stage of our evolution, we will discover a natural pattern, a design of our birth transition, and develop a plan to cooperate with this design.”

    The last section I highlighted from Tuesday’s Dharma Path class:

      My dear friends, as humans you are not meant to 100% glitter. You would burn each other’s eyes out! You need to have a bit of dimness, it’s okay. You teach each other patience, compassion, generosity of spirit.


    Barbara Marx Hubbard speaks well the opportunity: “If we continue to grow separately and in competition with each other we could self destruct.”

    Or we could awaken the new species!

  • Mercury Retrograde! October 14 – November 3

    Belief can be overrated. If one did not believe in gravity, would gravity still have an effect? Of course, it would. It is likely that astrological influences are having an effect on us in much the same way.

    Mercury went retrograde on October 14, where it will stay through November 3.

    Tuesday, November 3, 2020, is election day….

    How Mercury In Retrograde Is Affecting Your Body And Energy Levels – It’s all happening! by Susannah Guthrie

    Expect to have more or less energy than you’re used to, particularly of the nervous variety.

    October 2020’s Mercury retrograde will either sap you of your usual zest and leave you feeling lethargic, or fill you with chaotic, scattered energy that might have you feeling restless, unfocused and anxious.

    In our third year of Dharma Path, Barbara Brodsky and Arron (check out Aaron’s new blog) have us working with a wonderful practice to navigate strong emotions in a way that prevents us from being overcome by them.

    Here are the basic steps of “Akashic Field Practice.”

    1. I open myself to this field in which there are both spaciousness and calm and peace, and disturbances. Because of the essence of my practice, I am willing to experience the disturbance. I’m not afraid of the disturbance, because I know that the spaciousness is much vaster than the disturbance. And so, instead of focusing on the disturbance, I focus on the spaciousness.

    (We are encouraged to think of holding and comforting these uncomfortable emotions like we would hold a distressed baby, seeing the baby as a more infantile consciousness, and we ourselves are able to hold that infantile consciousness with mature consciousness. Saying to ourselves, “It is going to be OK. I love you. You are safe.” This holding, comforting, supporting is based on our highest intention for highest good of all beings, harm to none, and lovingkindness.)

    2. Invite spirit (God/Higher self/Love) to support your choice for kindness.

    3. Ask in your heart of any entities (angels/guides/masters) that come, “Do you come for the highest good, in service to all beings, and harm to none?” Wait until you get a clear YES.

    4. Invite all loving beings (entities) to get closer as you clearly state your need. “My body is shaking. I really feel rotten. I’m not emotionally scared so much as my heart is pounding and I feel the fear in my whole body. Please help.”

    Imagine feeling a warm energy moving throughout your body; loving energy surrounding you; energy clearing, as spaciousness opens up inside you.

    Remember YOU always have access to this energy. This is always available.

    Music can help your “mature” consciousness calm your “infantile” consciousness, especially kind during this Mercury retrograde over the next few weeks. I love Karen Druker’s Gentle with Myself, and Cecelia’s Amazing Grace (with whale sounds!).

    October 14, 2020 Daily Word: Let Go, Let God

    I work in divine partnership to accomplish great things.

    A surfer harnesses the ocean’s power to complete the exhilarating ride to shore. I, too, place myself within the divine wave of God’s power. I neither move out in front of it by forcing my will nor do I hold back out of fear and insecurity. Only when I center myself in the wave can I discern the answer or direction I seek. I let go into the magnificent power of God and ride the wave that is my inner guidance and direction.

    In prayer, I release the need to know what is going to happen and trust that my highest good is unfolding. I do what is mine to do, leaving the greater part to God. I listen to my intuitive knowing, heed the guidance I receive, and then follow through on my inner promptings with deliberate, purposeful action.

    You are indeed my rock and my fortress; for your name’s sake lead me and guide me.—Psalm 31:3

  • Let it Shine!

    We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.

    ~ Pema Chödrön

    This week’s Oakwood Retreat has been very intense. Staying at home for retreat has some benefits. You don’t have the expense of lodging or travel time, and you get to sleep in your own bed. Like all of life, though, everything holds its opposite.

    The morning instruction on working skillfully with distortion and heavy emotions was soooooo relevant…

    I have had one of the decidedly most unskillful weeks I have had for decades. When you are sitting in meditation for 6-8 hours, day after day, stuff will come up. The catalyst for my stuff was the (hopefully) last of the work to complete home repair related to the mold remediation. But vital to realize the catalyst (whatever the catalyst) is not the distortion. The distortion is how we relate to the what is triggering us.

    On one walk, I saw two crickets. On another, about a half dozen earth worms. Twice I had a red-bellied woodpecker hanging right on my window! Every day that shrub is filled with the comings and goings of sparrows. But one morning I heard a disturbance, opened my eyes and saw that a hawk was actually in the middle of the shrub. I had six Blue Jays at the feeder one morning, and this morning I had four big crows.

    Cricket totem: A sign of good luck in many cultures, cricket symbolizes initiative and intelligence, and having the gift of foresight.

    Earthworm totem: Working old ground; examining the past and its effects upon present conditions; including exploring past lives.

    Sparrow totem: Integrity, empowerment, persistence, hard work, peace and wisdom. Guides us to learn to work hard with all.

    Woodpecker totem: The power of rhythm. Discrimination. Connected to the heartbeat of Mother Earth herself. Symbolizes the stimulation and awakening of new mental faculties. New ways to look at things — new wisdom and new rhythms to dance to.

    Hawk totem: Represents focus, strength, and poise, and can show you your hidden abilities to lead yourself and others to a more positive outcome.

    Blue Jay totem: Symbolized by assertiveness, determination, and above all, intelligence.

    Crow totem: Watchful creatures with sharp and powerful foresight. An omen of transformation and change.

    When you go on retreat, you practice noble silence. This does not just mean not talking. You are excused from any of the normal social politeness. No small talk, no anticipating others needs, no distracting yourself with discursive thought. You see clearly the weeds in your own garden. So I wrote a poem.

      When Weeds Grow: A Haiku

      Every place where weeds grow
      Oxygen is shared with you
      Breathe in and feel TRUTH

      Challenges abound
      And LOVE is always around
      We have so much help

      What do you see as
      Weeds grow there in your garden?
      Breathe…. They are pure gift

    During the final sitting, my mind went back to some trauma I experienced while traveling to Europe in 2011 — this exact same week! Mind was churning trying to remember the details. What was the name of the country where I had gone to the exotic gardens? Thinking, grasping, trying to remember until I let my mind soften, like taking a step back, and simply intended access to the information. Pop! Monaco….

    This is not a new lesson for me. I remember leaving the house a bit late with my earrings in my hand. Pulling up to the stop sign, the left earring slipped in but I could not find the hole in my right ear. The next stop sign, I tried again. Again without success. At the third stop sign I asked for help. Pop! The earring went right in and I heard a voice say, “We would have helped at the first stop sign if you had asked.”

    I have wired lamps, lifted heavy objects, remembered things, found things, and received guidance regularly for a very long time. Our teacher, Aaron, was speaking of how the mundane mind can be very helpful to orchestrate some tasks. One student asked Aaron if he uses Barbara Brodsky’s mundane mind for working with the technology. Aaron replied, “No, I just invite the computer to co-create with me.”

    The current conditions are chaotic. We need all the co-creation with spirit we can access. As Aaron said, “How can I save anyone if I can’t save myself?”

    This week I saw a quotation by Thich Nhat Hanh: “The next Buddha may be a sangha.”

    It definitely took a sangha to offer this wonderful week of focused dharma practice. Sharing a few notes from my journal:

    You have come as midwives. You can be the midwife who is there in the room being calm or the one running around the room saying, “It isn’t coming quickly enough!”

    Be with things as they are. Not stoically, but lovingly. Liberation means walking on the unstable ground and finding your own balance.

    Allow the practice to ground us in the innate perfection without denial of the conditions.

    Say, “I consecrate this effort to the good of all beings.”

    Each time you are able to offer kindness in a difficult condition, it changes the world around you.

    One day when we sang “This Little Light of Mine” the teacher said it is really a great big light, so I wrote new words to the tune:

    This GREAT Big Light of Mine
    (sing it to the tune of This Little Light of Mine)

    This GREAT BIG light of mine
    I’m gonna let it shine
    This GREAT BIG light of mine
    This light is divine
    This GREAT BIG light of mine
    Isn’t even really mine
    Let it shine, let it shine, let it

    Let it shine around your town
    We can let it shine
    We have help, we’re not alone
    Please just let it shine
    Let it shine when fear appears
    We can let it shine
    Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine

  • Big Fires

    I go to nature to be soothed and healed,
    and to have my senses put in order.

    ~ John Burroughs

    Several individuals expressed feeling depressed with all that is going on right now. I mentioned how the uncertainty shifts us into the sympathetic nervous system – fight, flight, or freeze.

    Some people are said to look for love in all the wrong places. Trying to find peace or trust or love or joy while the sympathetic nervous system is active is like setting a lobster trap in the Sahara dessert.

    The sympathetic nervous system simply can never find peace!

    Later that day, another group gathered and the same topic came up! The teacher, Barbara Brodsky, invited us to think about the experience itself.

    Can we acknowledge that mental and emotional and energetic experience called depression, without trying to get rid of depression? Who is the one that is watching this experience of depression? And what is the energy field and mind like for the one who is watching depression?

    When something is unpleasant, what happens in my mind?

    Being truly present you can see depression as an object arising out of conditions — impermanent, not “self.” Without trying to fix it, just really look at what it is. Here’s this strange object called depression. But what is it, and from what does it arise? Where will it go?

    ~ Barbara Brodsky

    The parasympathetic nervous system handles uncertainty very differently. Recognizing the only constant is change, and like a young child, you see everything as an adventure. Each step is an amazing part of the journey.

    Watching a panel discussion on Infinite Potential sponsored by the Fetzer Foundation, I was in awe of how much is known about science and spirituality. Everything science can prove, mysticism has always known.

    One of the closing comments, this one by Bob Roth, CEO of David Lynch Foundation, is worth holding onto with your head and your heart:

    Water puts out fire, if the fire is too large, you need more water. Its not the fault of the water, its how large the fire has grown.

    Yes, there is a lot going on right now, and yes, the sympathetic nervous system misses the truth, but each step is an amazing part of the journey of our Infinite Potential…..

  • Skies Upon Skies

    “Skies upon skies are available for your flight.”
    – Osho Zen Tarot

    I feel a little bit like the morning after Christmas, or the ninth day of Hanukkah. For the closing sharing of this eight-day Intensive/Retreat—the culmination of a two-year commitment to study and practice—I had written: When I logged on this morning, Dallas was the only other one online. I asked him about his virtual image in his background – a waterfall. I showed him a photo of me, also at a waterfall in Maui. We had a lovely visit and I am so glad we shared…

    That photo of me at the waterfall is framed and sits on my altar helping me value the dharma path that began long before I knew the word dharma.

    I was born in fear and I was living in fear. Not MY fear, but THE fear. My mother was informed that she had syphilis simultaneously with the discovery that she was pregnant. My first trimester in her womb was spent with my mom at a sanatorium being treated. She was angry, embarrassed, afraid….

    My alcoholic father had had sex with someone else, and that is how my mother got infected. I knew nothing of this until in my 40s when I began to have awareness of feeling unloved, unsafe, and unwanted. I was a successful professional, happily married, and I had had a good relationship with my mom. Nothing could account for those feelings, but I knew they were there.

    I knew I would benefit by uncovering the pain.

    In a hypnotic regression to the womb, hearing Les Crane sing Desiderata to me through headphones I had total realization of those feelings. Later I asked my mother if she could help me understand. She told me of the syphilis.

    Many of you were there when I shared this as part of “Listen to Your Mother” and it is still available on YouTube.

    The fear I lived with, the feelings of not loved, not safe, not wanted arose out of the human condition. I am so grateful to know the truth. Those feeling, any feelings, are not me nor mine.

    Instead of sharing all of those words as my closing, I simply shared a series of photos of the sky taken from the window in the guest/room office where I was “on retreat” for those eight days, and where I am now with my fingers on the keyboard, looking at the ever-changing sky:


    Aaron’s closing talk was brief and to the point:
    You have everything within you
    to co-create a future
    for the highest good of all beings.
    A future where beings are awake,
    free of suffering.


    Two years ago,
    we did not know that
    there was going to be
    a COVID-19 in our future.

    But of course,
    there would be something
    in our future.

    Some challenge.
    And you are meeting it with
    wisdom and open hearts.

    Please do not forget to imagine…
    to hold your heart open
    and picture an earth free of disease,
    free of hatred

    —an earth in which
    all sentient beings
    can truly flourish.
    May it be.
    May it be so.

  • Through the Darkness

    Start where you are,
    use what you have,
    do what you can.

    ~ Arthur Ashe

    I am tempted to schedule this to post so readers don’t know that I have my fingers on the keyboard at 4:21 am while on retreat. If I were not retreating via Zoom because of COVID-19, I would not have the option. I would have a room mate and I would be awake and watching the mind movements. I am awake. And I am watching the mind movements. And my fingers are on the keyboard.

    This week I have been doing seva (service) by transcribing audio for our teacher, Barbara Brodsky. Most of you know that Barbara is deaf. Because she is channeling the teachings, she “hears” what was taught only after someone listens to the voice memos and sends her a document. I have been doing that for her almost real time. This, along with Barbara’s releasing the raw audios to the students, is a huge change.

    The catalyst of these changes is COVID, but, the benefit of the changes is trust.

    Last night’s evening talk, a summary of this group’s two-year commitment to the Dharma Path, began with the question, “What is the Dharma Path?”

    First, is the truth of duhkha, a Sanskrit word usually thought to mean suffering. The clearest meaning is a wheel that is off center causing the vehicle (car or cart) to lurch. Lurching makes the ride very uncomfortable, further amplified by our expectation that the ride should be smooth.

    Human beings can get off center and lurch. Suffering because we have aversion to the lurching, we grasp for the expectation and desire for no lurching.

    COVID-19 has amplified the lurching, and the aversion and grasping. Lots of duhkha…. but there is a path out.

    Earlier in the retreat, we were to answer the questions, “In this moment, what is the hardest thing for me to hold in love? What seems to sit outside of the heart?” I wrote down one word: IGNORANCE. A saying that represents ignorance is rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Wasted effort. Squandered resources. Denial. Refusal to look with the eyes of love.

    A couple of evenings ago watching two juvenile birds at the bird bath inspired a poem:

    I AM That

    The juvenile bluebird
    standing stiffly
    in the center of the bird bath

    The young starling
    watching in amazement
    before jumping in and splashing exuberantly

    As much as saying
    “Here, I’ll show you
    so you can enjoy it too”

    Exiting the bath
    Making space for the willing-to-learn
    “I-can-do-that-too!”

    Bluebird to follow suit
    Again and again
    We teach and we learn

    We center our wheel by holding clearly in view several highest intentions for our lives. I wrote: I serve those who serve. I assist humanity to transcend seeming limitations and move out of delusion and awaken to our true power to bless all.

    Lofty aspirations, for sure, but we are not alone in these endeavors. The creator of worlds is here offering us support. We are often like that juvenile bluebird, standing stiffly in our human form, ignorant of the amazing joy available to us.

    There will always be pain. The conditions around the pandemic, racial inequality, violence, desperation, despair — lurching, lurching, lurching.

    As Chris McCall sang “Here I am Lord” for us I was crying like a baby. Many of us were. Humanity is tired of the uncomfortable lurching. “I will go, Lord, if you lead me, I will hold your people in my heart.”

    If a juvenile bluebird and a juvenile starling can do it, so can we. We are not just humans. We are also divine.

    One of the closing lines in last night’s dharma talk: “Ahhhh, I see we have passed through the darkness….”

  • In-tension or Intention

    As you speak, so you see
    As you see, so you share
    As you share, so you become

    I am on retreat, and am living the spirit of the law (rather than the letter of the law) by writing a blog post. This intensive / retreat is the culmination of a two-year “Path of Clear Light” study with Barbara Brodsky and Aaron (and a cast of other enlightened teachers). The past semester has been working with sacred darkness. Groundwork is now being laid for a third year: Co-creating with Spirit. This focus is how we move from being in tension to the intention to invite and allow support. Namely this: How do we INVITE the world as we want it to be? How do we INVITE the expression of the self as we wish it to be?

    We were led on a guided meditation and then instructed to take paper and crayons or markers or colored pencils and draw this sacred wish for our being in the world. Most of us in my small group commented on our unskilled artistic abilities. There was no lack of skill in the articulation of our sacred wishes….

    I did a doodle process where you place a writing instrument on the page, close your eyes and move it around until guided to stop. Open your eyes and turn the page different directions until you see something come into view. The rules are you can embellish or not, add or not, highlight or not. I like those rules.


    After I had completed my drawing, I wrote these notes in my journal: I know I take human form in the world as it is. The big shift is instant manifestation. I see people able to transport via thought, create via thought, destroy via thought. Suddenly, I get a jolt of fear — not trusting human ability to manifest from love and wisdom. I choose the intention to invite and allow release of this fear and I hear, “This is the way.”

    The words on my drawing that are featured in the top center of this post were written with my nondominant hand. The words on the right side of the drawing were not.

    I am the world around me.

    What you give birth to has it’s own independence and free will.     (Aaron had said this, but including this one might be influenced by learning that I am going to be a great-grandma.)

    Everyone has a double and a mirror opposite. Find yourself.

    Life expression is joyous.

    In my doodle, I included a small section of a process called Zentangle which I learned from Carol Myers. Those words are: I AM LOVE.

    Yesterday and today I have thought of the title of the book “When Women Were Birds: Fifty-Four Variations of Voice” by Terry Tempest Williams. Her mother bequeathed Terry all of her journals, with the promise not to open them until after she had passed. Three shelves of journals were blank….

    I opened email this morning to the BK Thought for Today:

    No Complaining Zone

    If you approach life complaining about what’s missing then you’ll be dissatisfied. Satisfaction comes from knowing things can always be improved but at the same time appreciating what is right in your life right now.

    And Aaron’s Daily Quote:

    When you say, ‘Thy will be done,’ you’re not saying, ‘I’ll do whatever you want,’ you’re saying, ‘I obey this sacred sound within me, this sacred wisdom and clarity and love. I will listen for that and no matter how quiet it is and no matter how loud ego’s voice is, I will keep coming back to that sacred vibration within the heart. That is the will I will follow and not the voice of the ego.’

    Perhaps this new world is simply the sacred vibration of love and clarity in a no complaining zone….

  • Aaron

    Sacred Stories

    She was hosting a ZOOM workshop, listening to one of the teacher’s closing instructions.

    The face of the teacher was “spotlighted.” The teacher’s face was the large image, filling her entire screen.

    Her mic was off, and she was recording the audio using “voice memo” on her iPhone.

    If you listen closely to the audio link below, at about 2 minutes 50 seconds you will hear her start to softly laugh/cry.

    She felt as though the teacher was gazing right into her soul through the screen as the teacher said, “I know you get this,” before continuing on with the instructions.

    At about 3 minutes 30 seconds into the audio, she was moved to tears. You can hear her breathing and you can identify that she is crying.

    It is obvious the teacher stops speaking just briefly—allowing her emotions to settle before continuing.

    Amazingly, this teacher is a channeled being called Aaron.

    And, Barbara Brodsky, the channel who brings Aaron through, is completely deaf….

    butterfly


  • Emerald Isle Musings

    WORD FOR THE DAY

    We did not ask for this room or this music;
    we were invited in.

    Therefore, because the dark surrounds us,
    let us turn our faces toward the light.

    Let us endure hardship
    to be grateful for plenty…

    We did not ask for this room or this music.

    But because we are here,
    let us dance.

    ~ Stephen King
    (visit GRATEFULNESS.ORG)

    The closing “circle” for the 2020 Emerald Isle meditation retreat was—like the entire week—happening on ZOOM.

    The title of the retreat was “Deepening Practice in Challenging Times.”

    While I had planned to use the week letting go of the stress of the past month of Pandemic and Post-Mold-Remediation experience (see my previous posts), at the last minute, I became Debra the Deva-in-Demand, functioning as the ZOOM co-host/moderator for the week.

    Note* I have no previous experience hosting a group on ZOOM.

    A difficulty with the platform is how to effectively experience group chanting. We are still working on that….

    Although I did not ask for this room, or this music, I was there, so I danced. The ZOOM room was welcoming, the messy music was magical, and I was so blessed to serve.

    Adding an intricate layer of dance moves to our virtual/residential retreat is the fact that our beloved teacher, Barbara Brodsky, is deaf. Our beloved co-teacher, John Orr, did a lot of simultaneous speaking while finger-signing for Barbara, including an entire dharma talk! Volunteers did much typing into the chat box, and I was often directing Barbara via closed-caption. A retreat moto might have been, “Slow down, slow down… a little bit slower, please.”

    The Pali term, Katavedi, is related to gratefully giving as a result of having fully received.

    The one who is grateful (kataññu) helps in return (katavedi).

    For the closing circle, we gathered at the appointed time, and one-by-one people let me know when ready to share. That person’s face would be spotlighted, their words (which had been emailed to me) would be shared on the screen. Each person (sometimes tearfully) would read. Here are my closing words:

    There were some rough spots with the technology of this retreat. Contraction, grasping, wanting to help. I am totally new to hosting ZOOM. Patty and Tana and I had a crash course last week. Tana received more than a few SOS messages. WE did the best we could. Not at all easy, but so much learning! We will do better next time.

    Additionally, two friends are in ICU on ventilators with COVID-19. I have had my phone and email active this week to host ZOOM. I am grateful to have been available to both of these families. Ordinarily, my phone and email would not have been checked at all during the week of retreat.

    My husband, John, had sciatica so severely at the start of the week he could barely walk from the bed to the bathroom. At the end of each night, I would do reflexology for him.

    John Orr spoke of katavedi, which is giving back from that place of appreciation and gratitude.

    This week I have been giving back. We could never ask for better teachers.

    I have infinite love and gratitude for Barbara, and John, Aaron, The Mother, Jeshua, Father John… LOVE, and for each of you, my brothers and sisters of light.

    I could write a book titled “SNAFU” related to the ambitious decision to offer a week-long, silent, residential retreat with people safe-sheltering at home, but the difficulties did not diminish the benefits.

    Most participants were surprised, pleased, and affected by their first residential retreat at home.

    Writing this, my heart sank as I realized Rita asked me to share for her, and I forgot to do that. Here are her loving words of gratitude: It was an honor to participate in the retreat with each and every one of you. The strong feeling of connection with so many, most of whom I had never “met” before, was so warming and affirming. I want to thank Aaron, Barbara and John for sharing their wisdom, personal stories, encouragement and Love. I truly feel blessed to have had the opportunity to be in the presence of such skillful loving teachers. Namaste’

    We practice where we are. Where we are is in social-isolation. This bird on the shrub is outside my virtual “meditation hall” window:

    Iris shared a Terry Tempest Williams poem (also one of my favorites): “Once upon a time, when women were birds, there was the simple understanding that to sing at dawn and to sing at dusk was to heal the world through joy. The birds still remember what we have forgotten, that the world is meant to be celebrated.”

    The world—even the current pandemic world—is meant to be celebrated. Even in social isolation, we are never alone. LOVE is always with us.

    And so LOVE must have the final “going home” instructions:

    YOU are LOVE. That essence of you can never be destroyed.

    It can be hidden.
    Let it out!

    It can be forgotten.
    Reawaken it!

    I want friends to dance with me in the garden of LOVE.

    You are so special and beautiful—each of you. The millions of beings on this earth who had the courage to incarnate, to move past old, limiting habit patterns of fear, and remember the essence of LOVE. This is what your practice is for.

    I want to thank you for giving this week of your time to this practice.

    Giving and receiving…. giving and receiving…. giving and receiving.

    My heart to your heart.

    I love you.

  • A Bird in the Hand

    Up way before the first bird sings a song of the light soon coming, I wonder if it is breaking the noble silence to have my fingers on the keyboard writing to you while I am still on retreat. The lines are blurry at this retreat. It is being held on ZOOM and people are not just sheltering-in-place, now they are also retreating-in-place. Our meditation hall is a photo on my computer, using “share screen” on ZOOM.


    So many of the benefits are here; being with others dedicated to the practice, clear seeing into habitual tendencies, helpful instruction, and deep dharma talks. I am so grateful we are instructed to see everything though the eyes of LOVE.

    I do miss really some aspects of a residential retreat: having meals prepared, hearing others cough or breathe or chant or cry, and the walk to and from the meditation hall in the stillness of the darkness.

    COVID-19 has certainly brought a lot of changes….

    I will save more personal reflections until after the retreat ends and be content now sharing some highlights of the teachings:

    1. Rejoicing in the good efforts of others is the easiest way to contentment. (This is usually thought of as rejoicing in the good fortune of others, but one student learned to use this principle related to the good efforts of others. I liked that a lot.)

    2. The only way we can resolve habit patterns of mind is to experience them.

    3. This pain is bearable, but there is still aversion. Think, “Ahhh, I can have compassion for this human.” Notice what this aversion feels like in your body. Is is hot? Icy? You can bring compassion to these sensations.

    4. In the depth of wisdom and compassion, there is no grasping or aversion, just space for the experiences of pleasant or unpleasant or neutral.

    5. Is there anything here that is not an expression of the unconditioned? (God / Source / All That Is)

    6. To give and receive love means to release the ego enough that there is little distinction between self and others. From your profound intention to alleviate suffering for all beings, cherish yourself and all equally.

    7. Story of Jeshua as a child having hit a bird with a slingshot. The intention was not to hit the bird but to hit the target. The bird was bleeding. The subtle thought, “I am bad. I am evil.” His mother guiding him to forgive himself and to forgive the bird for being where it was able to be hit. Offering the bird forgiveness for having eaten a worm. He took the bird into his small hands, “Cherishing the bird and cherishing myself.” In a few moments, the bird shook itself, looked at Jeshua, and then flew away. Jesuhua said, “I don’t know why the bird lived. Perhaps it lived because I reminded it it was loved and the world needed it….”

    I hear the first bird singing outside my window now. You have time. Drop your old beliefs about self and others. All are loved. The world needs all.