Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: Barbara Brodsky

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    This morning I was dreaming upon waking: I am in my final childhood home. The basement is flooded. At the bottom of the stairs, it is over ankle deep. I go down and start moving stuff to get the door open so we can get the water out. A man and woman are outside waiting for me to give the word. (Mom and dad?) It is quite dark down here and the water is cold, but I stay focused and am making good progress before I wake up .

    After I am up and have written down my dream I look up the dream symbolism: Wet basement in dream meaning: Unprocessed emotions, hidden stress or deep unconscious overwhelm. In dream symbolism, a house represents your inner self, the basement reflects your foundational unconscious or past, and water stands for your feelings. Emotional overload/ feelings or responsibilities you have bottled up that are now seeping into your awareness.

    This reminds me of yesterday’s sharing with our eldest grand, Brad, about giving ourselves a pass….

    I went to visit a dear, dear, friend today. We spoke candidly about the difficulty that can come when there is need to be a receiver of care. We so prefer to be the one giving.

    I shared part of Barbara Brodsky’s blog post from a few days ago.

    Three nights ago, at bedtime, my beloved almost 11 year old collie, Banner, (my hearing – dog) suddenly could not stand up. We have a routine of many years; I shut off the tv or close my book, say ”bed time” and we both get up quickly and head to the bedroom. He tried to stand; his 4 paws were sliding to the sides on the hardwood floor, with no traction, and he couldn’t get them under him. He was terrified.

    I woke up Hal’s caregiver who lives downstairs and he brought up the old living room rug that we’d stored in the basement for wheelchair/ walker safety, put it down and lifted him on top of it and Banner rested there for 15 minutes while I just patted him and spoke to him. Then I got up and he did too. Just stood up!

    Our human minds return to “I can’t” and fear. His mind and body just responded by standing to follow me to the bedroom. The next day, he was happily playing with our granddaughter, with no sign of weakness. Fear and its stories really do block us humans from a deeper reality.

    Today I could feel in both my friend and myself the letting down of old habits of wanting to not need help. Then this afternoon, I opened email from my mentor/friend Betty Lue Lieber, in which she had included the message for today from the Daily Word:

    Pray for Others

    Praying for others is a sacred gift I love to give.

    Friday July 24, 2026

    When a friend or loved one is going through a challenge, I try to help however I can. When I’ve offered all I can and it seems there is nothing else I can do, I pray.

    Prayer is the greatest gift I have to give. Regardless of whether someone knows I am praying, my prayers enfold them in love and care. As I pray, I feel my connection in Spirit to that person. I touch the presence of infinite light, life, love, and peace within them. I have faith these qualities are opening the avenue to unlimited good.

    My prayer extends from my circle of loved ones to enfold my larger community and the world. I pray each person knows they deserve a joyous, prosperous, fulfilling life.

    I have prayed for you that your own faith may not fail.—Luke 22:32

    This brings to mind the Biblical story of a man who had been paralysed for 38 years. Jesus simply told him to pick up his mat and walk. May we, may all beings, receive support and love and encouragement so completely we, too, can be freed from suffering.

    (Also from Betty Lue’s message:)
    “Prayer For A Loved One”

    Dear Heart,
    I will not worry, fret or be unhappy over you.
    I will not be anxious concerning you.
    I will not be afraid for you.
    I will not give up on you.
    I will not blame, criticize or condemn you.
    I will remember first, last and always that you are God’s child, that you have His Spirit in you.
    I will trust this Spirit to take care of you, to be a light to your path, to provide for your needs.
    I will think of you as always being surrounded by God’s loving Presence, enfolded in His protecting care, as kept safe and secure in Him.
    I will be patient with you.
    I will have confidence in you.
    I will stand by you in faith, and bless you in my prayers, knowing that you are growing, knowing that you are finding the help you need, the love you need, the healing you need, the financial freedom you need.
    I have only good feelings in my heart about you.
    I am willing to let you live your life as you see fit.
    Your way may not be my way, but I will trust the Spirit of God in you to show you the way of your highest Good.
    God loves you and I love you!
    I have confidence in you and I believe in you!!
    (author unknown)

  • The Way Forward

    Last evening as I was crawling in to bed, I checked the Facebook page of my niece. She is an amazingly inspiring woman, and often I am uplifted by the video-to-music posts of the “nature” of her life: cats, dogs, butterflies, moths, and (more recently again) chickens. Last night’s post was not of the same emotional tone:

      Things are quiet and sad in the coop tonight, and it’s hard to hold back tears. For the first time ever, we experienced a dog attack on our flock, and 9 of them were killed. One more is showing signs of shock or internal injuries, and I’m not sure she’s going to pull through.
      The dog belongs to a young couple who live at the farm across the field. The dog had had been doing fine off-leash on their property, and was far enough away that she couldn’t even see our place. For whatever reason, she wandered farther away this afternoon, and saw our chickens. By the time Brian could get out to catch her, she had killed 9 of them. With 60+ in the flock, and several of each kind in most cases, it’s hard to know which ones I lost. I do know I lost one of my little silkies that I adore. I’m worried that I’ll have a moment of realizing certain favorites are gone.
      Even though I don’t ever want the dog to be able to come onto our property again, I still feel really sad for her because of the freedom she’ll lose because of this. And I feel sad for her owners, too. It’s never a good feeling when your dog does something that causes pain for someone else. I told them I didn’t want them to view her differently. She just followed instincts, and had no idea what her actions would cause.
      It had already been a difficult few days because of three wild animal deaths I witnessed. I tried to turn my car around to save a young groundhog that was wandering on the road – only to watch another car hit it. I picked up the box turtle that had badly injured by a car, took it to Paw Paw to a vet that works with replies. Found out later its injuries were too severe, and it had to be put to sleep. Then I saw a post about baby raccoons who were displaced when workers cut down a tree. The babies were scared and running back and forth across the road. By the time I got there, two of them had already been killed on the road, and I couldn’t find any other ones.
      All of that being said, I’m just really grieving tonight. Loving animals brings some real pain along with all the joy.

    All of this comes along with preparations I am navigating for my being blessed to guest pastor at St. John UCC again — this time on the 29th anniversary of my ordination July 12, 1997. The theme of this sharing is “The Way Forward.”

    I wrote to my niece right away saying I was awake if she needed to talk. When I did not hear back from her I continued to pray as sleep came.

    Awake VERY early, I found the opening paragraph timely in Barbara Brodsky’s blog post: “I’ve been looking at feelings of powerlessness this morning. What is power? Are we ever truly without it? These pictures are not about my garden but about life, about all the things I feel are out of control. When that ‘no control’ feeling comes, it’s the inner contraction and negativity that really stops me, and creates a blockage of energy, much more than any external force.”

    I also saw an invitation to a 3-day program by Heart Mind Institute, DAY 1: Effort Doesn’t Calm the Nervous System. Before I left my bed, I listened and then did the Surrogate Tapping exercise by Jessica Ortner of The Tapping Solution.

    After a cup of tea, I posted the video my niece posted about her loss on my Facebook page with this message: “Asking for prayers. Knowing she recognizes that great wonderful gifts can come from unthinkable losses. Years ago she lost a beloved horse and her home schooling classroom in a barn fire. Out of those ashes a youth ranch was born. This devastation can also birth breathtaking beauty. Prayers for her and all involved as our human emotions can be sooooooo challenging.”

    All of this is totally intimately related to how I came to be ordained a Minister of Reunion and the message I plan to share about the way forward….

  • A World of Our Own Making

    Grateful, Friday was an extraordinary day of shifts in perspective….

    I had been being drawn down a dim alley when our grand-daughter-in-love-to-be had not responded to text or email about their upcoming wedding ceremony. Thursday evening she and I had opportunity for a call that answered a lot of questions. As I rode my bike early the next morning, I was feeling a tremendous amount of love along with relief and gratitude for clearer understanding.

    Returning home from my ride, Barbara Brodsky’s email response to my request to share her recent journal post touched me in that soft spot as I read, “Thank you for loving the journal, Debra. Of course you may share it… anywhere…. I’m honored.”

    April Journal #7

    I sat in my hot tub at dawn looking with wonder at the tiny new maple leaves just emerging, that precious, vibrant pale green of spring; seeing the red buds on the crab apple tree; the lawn sprinkled with dandelions; garden filled with daffodils and tulips; tiny pale green cones emerging on the giant spruce tops, awed by the deep blue sky. Here is the wonder of life emerging into a new spring, a new season.

    I’m aware that I’ve been in internal winter, dormant and frozen. It’s time to emerge.

    Asking what has led to closure is a necessary step: it’s painful to become aware of body discomfort, anger and sadness, old habitual ways of dealing with physical and emotional pain. This is partially just the mammalian “fight, flight, freeze” reflex. For me one important step is just awareness that I’ve turned to “automatic,” and to remember my intention to be present and awake. I choose not to become a Tesla! I am driving this vehicle! That connects me to intentions: do no harm and I DO harm others by withdrawing. And harm myself. The flowers need the nourishment of rich soil, water and warm sunshine to flourish. Armoring myself, the sun cannot reach me.

    Aaron asks me gently, what do I fear? Aging, increasing personal feelings of diminishment and lack of any control in a world gone crazy! Sadness, really grief, that we are destroying ourselves, each other and the earth and I cannot do anything about it. I’m feeling the full weight of my years, running out of time to do anything positive. I see grief is predominant. The anger is an expression of the grief, and grief of the anger.

    Aaron: And what helps to resolve the causes for grief?
    Barbara: Joy, but how do I get to joy?
    A: Joy is inherent in you and will be experienced when the blockage releases.
    B: Are you saying I’m holding on to the blockage?
    A: Not consciously, with intention, but if you touch each of those places of pain within with gentle love and light, as a parent holds a frightened child, you will feel gradual opening. Then you will see the base for blockage. There must be intention for release to happen, and consciousness of the pain of continued closure.

    We leave off conversation here as I begin to meditate. “Breathing in, I touch my heart with love; breathing out, I choose to let go of old pain.”

    I see it like October leaves releasing from a tree.… no force, just releasing whatever chooses to go, and again… after a few minutes, mind settles into presence, with body, mind, breath, nothing sticking, opening into more spacious presence.

    Barbara closed her post with this precious photo of her youngest granddaughter swinging from the flowering crab apple tree planted from a seedling in 1974.


    My emotional load was certainly lighter as I headed to my sister’s to assist with some spring cleaning. We ended up doing her kitchen.

    As I began, she was sharing frustration with the messes made by her husband. I had already shared Barbara’s Journal #7 with her, and I had been sharing my insight and relief after the previous night’s call about the wedding. I stopped in the middle of cleaning and said, “It is frustrating to have the same messes over and over, but if you got a call saying he had died your heart would be broken and you would pray to be able to clean up after him again…. We are learning to hold all sides of our emotions.”

    We shared some tears and a hug as I whispered, “We live in a world of our own making giving our experiences their meaning.”

    As we worked our way around her entire kitchen she shared, “It feels so good in here now.”

    We both knew mammalian messes of our own made were also being deep cleaned as she and I worked side by side….

  • Tear-Stained Face

    From “Beyond Love Stories” by Rumi

    “I have no more words.
    Let the soul speak
    with the silent articulation
    of a face.”

    My face today was tear-stained.

    Having been gone for five months and just now getting home to print documents which have been collecting all this time, reading the fine print yielded much overwhelm. I had given it everything I had but I was digging a whole deeper by the moment. Trying to file a Federal tax return on TurboTax, I could not hold back the tears.

    As I stretched out on the yoga mat, I could hear my mother saying she had wasted her life. Old feelings came quickly to the surface. How could she feel that as she looked at me and thought of her granddaughter, my daughter, and her great grandchildren?

    I let some breath seep into my chest knowing these feeling were not MINE alone.

    I waded in deeper emotional waters for an hour or so more before reaching out to Stacey ( she works for a tax planner!) because I had not wanted to burden her. Today is April 10.

    Just hearing her voice brought forth new waves of emotion. She sent me a secure portal to submit all of the documentation and then let me know they would file an extension for me. Next month they will file the return. There are a lot of details being omitted here, but none that are vital to your recognizing that humans are navigating a lot of strong emotions right now.

    The past couple of days I have been thinking about the opening chapter I read in a book a friend mentioned at the 6:30 am Tuesday meditation. It is written by a Forest Ranger Chaplain. Only the dog returned. The child was still missing as night fell heavy and dark around her parents, the chaplain, and those searching.

      From Chapter 1, Here if You Need Me, by Kate Braestrup:

      His wife is holding onto my hand, tightly, and her hand is cold. She turns her eyes to me as her husband continues: “I know that the longer the search goes on, the greater the chances are that my little girl is dead.”

      …. “But wouldn’t she hear us calling to her and answer?” Ralph asks.

      …. “She’s asleep,” I say.

      …. “Little kids who get lost in the woods do something really smart,” I tell Marion. “When they realize they’re lost, they find a snug place – like under a bush – curl up, and go to sleep. Adults tend to keep moving; they keep trying to find their way out. They think they have to solve the problem themselves. Little kids conch out and wait for the grown-ups to solve it. If Allison is under a bush asleep, she probably can’t hear us hollering.”

    Kate’s husband, a state trooper, was killed on the highway leaving her all alone with their four young children. She became a minister because it had been his dream.

    The April full moon is two days away but feels fully felt.

    Another friend at the meditation shared a song she listens to as an aid for crying when she needs to give space to the emotions that demand to be felt;“Sand and Water” is written and sung by Beth Nielsen Chapman:

    All alone, I heal this heart of sorrow
    All alone, I raise this child
    Flesh and bone, he’s just
    Bursting towards tomorrow
    And his laughter fills my world, and wears your smile
    All alone, I came into the world
    All alone, I will someday die
    Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
    Sand and water, and a million years gone by

    This evening as I shared with a precious friend who is navigating overwhelming health challenges and is justified in having had her own melt down today, I heard myself speaking the truth of these emotions, “They are not personal. We are truly all just walking each other home….”

    Perhaps none of us is really ever all alone.

    Barbara Brodsky reminds us often when the conditions are present emotions will arise. Amen. And a tired grin on this tear-stained face.

  • Comfort With What Is

    This theme of perspective continues to escalate. Not just in personal ways, but within the collective.

    This morning about 6 o’clock I was awakened by a “poke” on my left shoulder. It was a somatic poke. A physical sensation. The kind of experience where you would swear an actual person was there doing the poking.

    John and I had a very awkward time yesterday. I was talking to him about disinformation and what makes people vulnerable to disinformation. His initial position was to say how the other side does that too. I’ve heard him say that many, many times and I just respond, “Two wrongs don’t make a right. It doesn’t matter if everyone’s doing it, if it’s not something that’s wholesome, we have the freewill choice to abandon the unwholesome and cultivate the wholesome.”

    I was able to gain a beautiful insight after I finally asked him if anything I shared with him had invited him at all to a greater openness to question his own view. He told me no and I felt really deflated, somewhat hopeless with sadness. Then I realized his attachment to view and everyone’s attachment to view might be okay.

    Earlier in the day, Sheilana’s words had spoken so clearly about how it is that people have view saying, “And the thing is that if you’re in that same position that I’m in, noticing the very same thing I’m noticing, we’re going to notice two different things. We won’t notice the same, not necessarily notice the same part of it.”

    And here is the key, “It is a chore to remind myself that everything is perfect just like it is, that because I want it to be some way, doesn’t mean that it’s ever going to be that. Because everybody else wants it to be their way too, and that just doesn’t work. So how is it that we come into a space where we’re comfortable with what is? And we’ve talked about it many times in the past, about how we can help make a change by being in that space of comfort with what is, instead of wanting it to be different.”

    Comfort with what is….

    The truth of this came to be evident to me during the decades I worked with a lot of people who were navigating health challenges. Resisting the pain, fighting the necessity of giving recovering some time, not wanting it to be the way it is right now actually can prolong the process. For sure, it heightens the suffering.

    This morning I was able to see yesterday’s process as progress.

    Twelve years ago, in 2012, the gap in understanding between John and me was cavernous. That was just three presidential elections ago.

    One of the guys on the Tuesday morning meditation was speaking about Attack from Within: How Disinformation Is Sabotaging America, a book by Barbara McQuade, an American lawyer who served as the United States Attorney for the Eastern District of Michigan from 2010 to 2017. Disinformation is not just misinformation. Disinformation is designed to evoke a strong emotional response nurturing perspectives with more extreme views, making it difficult and sometimes impossible to find common ground with others.

    Perhaps Sheilana is saying that the only common ground is comfort with what is.

    Some years ago, Barbara Brodsky shared this image of two ladders. The ladders are the same height, but the distance between the steps was ginormous. The person had not yet gotten off the ground on the other ladder, but the person was already near the top of the ladder with the smaller steps.

    Perhaps we have ease and success and comfort with with what is: smaller steps!

  • The Perfect Week for a Retreat

    I leave for Holly, Michigan, where I will attend a silent meditation retreat titled “Remembering our Awakened Essence” with Barbara Brodsky and John Orr from Deep Spring Center for Meditation, and sangha sisters and brothers from all over the world. The retreat will be held at The Maryville Retreat Center. This week Barbara’s husband, Hal, had a heart attack and has been hospitalized, receiving a pacemaker. Many know Hal previously had a gravely serious stroke and has been being cared for in their home since Covid. John Orr lives in Alexander, North Carolina, very near Asheville, where hurricane Helene has left his area with roads out, power down, and horrific destruction.

    There is a lot going on.

    This is not my first rodeo. I have been to MANY week-long silent retreats with this group, but due to the pandemic it has been five years (October 2019 being the last) since I attended a residential retreat. I definitely feel like a newbie. And a lot of rain and cool is forecast. Likely not going to be easy distraction by walking the beautiful campus.

    Plus, there is a lot going on this week.

    1. John will be staying alone for the first time since he had open heart surgery and the TIA from noon Sunday until Stacey arrives Thursday late afternoon.
    2. Our neighbor (Joe) is having heart valve surgery on Wednesday.
    3. Friends are navigating the losses and messes following Hurricane Milton.
    4. Our friend (Molly) is having a pacemaker.
    5. Our friend (Nancy) is turning 80.
    6. My long-time client and friend (Jane) is experiencing colon bleeding that cannot be surgically repaired. It is a complication from radiation therapy.
    7. Our country is approaching a Presidential Election that has amplified differences of opinions without highlighting the truth that we are interconnected.

    In the busyness of preparations for going on retreat, I took time yesterday to watch a video of Tara Brach with Dan Harris. Here are a few nuggets I am taking with me, and since you will be going with me in my heart, from “Timeless Heart Wisdom for our Times.”

      The most compelling and sacred work of these times is bridging divides.

      Unless we are seeking the well-being of all we are going to end up in some way perpetuating the suffering of our times.

      The Zen Masters say the most important thing is remembering the most important thing.

      Ours is a relational universe of aliveness that we’re inextricably a part of that’s influencing us that we are influencing that we are to pay attention to that in a way that is not abstract.

      The felt sense of that changes everything.

    It is probably obvious some of the reasons why I am nervous about turning off my phone and not checking for calls or texts or emails.

    It is also probably obvious why this is the perfect week for a silent meditation retreat….

  • Retreat Musings June 12, 2024

    Retreat Musings June 12, 2024

    Today is the last day of this retreat with Barbara Brodsky and John Orr. I was blessed to stay in the guest quarters at the home of my dear friends, Delcy and Tom Kuhlman.

    The title of this week is “Living Our True Nature as Love: Vipassana, Pure Awareness and Practices of the Heart” and this morning I wrote in my journal:

    What has it meant for me to be present in this retreat? Nothing more or less than what it means for being present in any place and any time.

    Two things that seem to want to be shared.

    1) What is in the way is the way.

    2) Practice with the everyday things of life, called the mundane. Years ago we learned an exercise to take a small amount of water into your mouth and just hold it as you watch an urge to swallow arise. When the urge begins to lessen, consciously swallow. Absolutely everything is arising and ceasing out of conditions. Perhaps there is a third thing that wants to be shared🤪

    Everything in the mundane sense realm goes in totally. You may only be aware of aspects, but your experience includes everything: what you see, what you hear, what you feel (the kinestetic cluster includes what you taste and smell) as well as what you know. The sense realm that you are least aware of consciously often has the greatest influence.

    It has come to be my experience that the same can be said of what are called the supramundane. Each mundane sense has a corresponding higher sense realm, because it is the consciousness with which we are perceiving that shifts what we perceive. These supramundane sense experiences are also always present, whether we have awareness of them or not: Nada is always there. Luminosity is always there. Chi energy is always there. Spaciousness is always there.

    In Buddhism, however, nada refers to the sound of silence. To detect the nada sound, turn your attention toward your hearing. If you listen carefully to the sounds around you, you’re likely to hear a continuous, high-pitched inner sound like white noise in the background. (Article The Sound of Silence, published in Lion’s Roar.) Interestingly, nada is also the Spanish word for “nothing.”

    According to Wikipedia, luminosity or clear light is the innate condition of the mind, associated with Buddha-nature, the realization of which is the goal of meditative practice. It can seem that everything is more brilliant than physical light, illuminated, almost glowing. Think about images of halo’s you may have seen.

    Chi energy can be thought of as the bridge between your form (meaning your physical body, your thoughts, emotions, sensations) and the formless part of you which is your true essence — soul, spirit, or consciousness itself. Science might speak of the bio-electric magnetic field, energy that emanates from your organs.

    Spaciousness is a bit more challenging to define but is likely the most basic. Think about it this way: The spacious mind has room for everything. It is like the space in a room, which is never harmed by what goes in and out of it. In fact, we say “the space in this room,” but actually, the room is in the space, the whole building is in the space.

    The Daily Quote from Deep Spring for June 12, 2024 says, “There is no duality. Anything that is born of love also carries darkness and fear. These are not the essence; these are conditioned expressions. You cannot fully express love until you face fear. You cannot fully express light until you live in darkness and learn how to move through and transcend the darkness, transcending it by the light within you.”

    The Daily Tejaniya tied right in: “Let things unfold naturally. As you watch an experience continuously, you will begin to recognize patterns. Later, you will see the whole picture. The value of meditation becomes more apparent with dedicated practice over long stretches of time.” (Article Noticing Space published in Tricycle.)

    One of the most active points of this retreat was Dharma Sister who as the result of a brain bleed is having difficulty navigating the technology to access Zoom. It has taken a village to assist this beloved one to be able to have the experience of study, sharing, and meditating with others dedicated to the path. In thanking those who were physically there to offer the necessary support I said, “I am confident that if you had been with us on our closing Zoom circle to see and hear her read with such skill and depth of understanding of the Dharma her sections of the Mala Recitation I know you would share now in that joy completely.”

    So many things shared by those on the retreat still resonate in my heart. Here are a couple of things that may also touch you deeply:

      The Path of Love
      by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

      And here I thought the path of love
      would look like love. Like kindness.
      Like generosity. Like gentleness.

      Instead it looks like me being bothered
      by the sound of loud chewing. Me
      wanting praise. Me needing to feel
      loved. Hello me. How elegantly love
      has arranged for me to meet
      all the parts of me that would stand
      in love’s way. How easily
      it shows me I’ve thought of love
      as a destination. But here is love
      with no expectation. Here is love
      with no name, no locus. Here
      is love with no face, no shape, no
      promise, no vow, no hope.
      Here is love as itself, surging
      and flowing, love as itself insisting
      on love, love as itself eroding
      all those layers of me that still
      think they know something about love
      (and love holds me while I rail
      and love throws me back in the stream
      and love is what is still here when I am not).

    “Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened. Don’t open the door to the study and begin reading. Take down the dulcimer. Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” ~ Rumi

    Yes, there are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground, and love is what is still here when I am not.

    Blessed be….

  • The Guest House

    Today is March 21 and I have absolutely no “excuse” for not having posted on Yellow Brick Road since February 26. Yes, we have had house guests off and on for the past six weeks. Yes, I have been riding up to 20 miles per day on my bike this year rather than the normal 5-8 miles of recent years, including time for stopping to share affection with this kitty on Harbor Drive.


    Yes, I have completed 19 one-thousand-piece puzzles, and, yes, I have also read five books since we arrived here in Punta Gorda early December, but, the real reason my posts have been few and far between is far deeper.

    The real reason is I am profoundly present with the play of light and darkness within my mind and that can be awkward to speak about. At Tuesday evening’s North Fort Myers Bluegrass Jam after the sun had gone down light was pouring in from from the nearby baseball field behind the line of trees. I was transfixed by this juxtaposition of the light and darkness so I snapped a photo.


    I am likely continuing to mine gifts of intentionally working with shadow. These past years of classes with Barbara Brodsky and John Orr and Aaron during which we navigated the Sacred Darkness. Sacred Darkness is very much with me. As is the Light. Each experience brings myriad thoughts, feelings, sensations, emotions…. all can be welcomed, even while not all are comfortable, and some are outright uncomfortable.

    As a guide, Rumi’s poem “The Guest House” comes to mind frequently.

      This being human is a guest house.
      Every morning a new arrival.

      A joy, a depression, a meanness,
      some momentary awareness comes
      as an unexpected visitor.

      Welcome and entertain them all!
      Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
      who violently sweep your house
      empty of its furniture,
      still, treat each guest honorably.
      He may be clearing you out
      for some new delight.

      The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
      meet them at the door laughing,
      and invite them in.

      Be grateful for whoever comes,
      because each has been sent
      as a guide from beyond.

      Copyright 1997 by Coleman Barks. Posted with permission. All rights reserved. From The Illuminated Rumi.

    Every line of this poem played itself out on Sunday when I watched a china pasta bowl I bought at the flea market for one dollar break in half against the asphalt. A hundred things cannot fully express the thoughts, feelings, sensations, and emotions melded into an experience.

    “It was only one dollar,” were the words I spoke at the time of the crash.

    Totally true words, but not the totality of my experience.

    I could not get that bowl out of my thoughts.

    I wished I had taken it to the van.

    The best way to describe it is like a too-brief encounter that leaves you yearning for a deeper knowing of one another. Who made this? How did it come to be at this flea market today? Who gave it such a low price? What is/was it’s real value? What would it feel like and look like filled with delicious food sitting in the middle of the table?

    I wished I had taken a photo of that bowl it to remember it by. I think I recall there having been a couple of butterflies and some flowers. I know there was green along the rim. The bowl was made in Italy, but I do not know if it was hand painted. I wished I had carefully brought the two halves home and glued them back together rather than having John toss them into the trash can. It could not hold pasta but perhaps it could have held fruit on the counter…. I grieved the loss.

    Complicating factors were the unanswered questions around the mishap. Details I did not have access to as I longed to put my mind at rest. I wanted to know the who, what, when, where, why, and how. I longed to free my mind of the ruminating. This being human is a guest house.

    The experience is not just about that bowl. It is about the nature of mind. A loved one dies. A loved one survives. All of the unanswered questions. A welcomed baby. An abused child. Kindness. Unkindness. Pleasant and painful. Light and darkness playing itself out on that inner landscape of mind.

    This being human is a guest house. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. ~ Rumi

  • Wholly Holy

      Friends accept
      that friends
      will feel out loud
      when they are ready.
      ~ She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women

    Late yesterday afternoon I had a serendipitous treasure visiting with my dear friend, Jane Foster. Jane is navigating radiation therapy. The linear accelerator was being repaired so she had the day off from her daily drive into Chicago.

    One of the foods that sits well with Jane right now is my homemade creamy tomato basil soup. A neighbor grows the basil and it is such a gift-of-the-garden, even more so when it is shared. I delivered soup and fresh-baked cookies.

    This has been a stressful week and the visit with Jane was such a bright spot!

    As Jane referenced her sense of the deep pain in the world I told her about the stated angst of an elder student around his not being able to go and physically offer support to those in Israel who are suffering violence and killing. Here is the short transcript of Aaron’s significant response, posted on the Yellow Brick Road with Barbara Brodsky’s blessing:

      I hear the pain in your heart. The human goes through various stages in its life. At some stages, this action or reply is most harmonious to the true being, and in other stages, a different reply is. As the human ages, often they cannot go off and protest or do whatever else they were moved to do 30 years earlier, and perhaps that is not what is needed.

      The world needs an energetic container for compassion.

      Feel in yourself the power to help support that energetic container. It is no less a “doing” than any other kind of doing but it is a doing grounded in a certain wisdom and beingness that only someone that has reached some maturity can bring together.

      So, this is your special gift at this time of your life.

      To pray.

      To visualize.

      To purify yourself — releasing old animosities, old distinctions of this and that — and truly holding everything in the loving container of your heart.

      This is a powerful connection in the world. It can bring forth powerful results. It can draw to you from all over the world, the energy of others like yourself. You don’t have to talk to each other or Zoom with each other. You can; its not a problem but trust the power of your energy and love and release it into this massive container of unconditional love and strong compassion that says “No!” to killing, but without blame of anybody who still is engaged in killing. They are not ready yet not to kill.

      You become the ground from which their readiness can arise….

    This awareness visits a very humble and willing space in my heart.

    “Don’t Just Sit There. Do Something.” is a song by Lewi B and Manga Saint Hilare.

    Meditation circles flip that around and say, “Don’t just do something. Sit there.”

    But Aaron’s words bring a beautiful balance to these thought polarities by providing us with a true knowing when you and I pray, visualize, and purify ourselves what we are doing is wholly holy….

  • What Do You Wish?

    Even if our efforts of attention seem for years to be producing no result, one day a light that is in exact proportion to them will flood the soul. ~ Simone Weil

    This morning I did laundry rather than go to the community room to ride the stationary bike because I am currently starting a novel and it is easier for me to keep my thoughts on the theme/s of the retreat without reading something else.

    That opening quotation by Simone Weil was posted today by Gratefulness.org and it asked me to mindfully post today as a part of the noble silence of the retreat.

    I have been listening again to the opening words and share some excerpts:

    I’ve seen so many on this earth with fear of, “I will die.”

    Every sentient being wants to survive….

    The heart of the shift comes from your truly knowing our nonduality….The tree is you and you are the tree….gradually your heart opens to knowing absolutely everything inter-is. ~ Aaron

    Last evening Barbara shared a significant guided meditation asking us to imagine being a young child, playing with friends, enjoying the larger community. Then imagine now you are not allowed to play with your friend because he or she is the wrong race, religion, or ethnicity. And then the friend is hungry because his or her parent is not allowed to go into the store to buy food. Before long the friend is cold and has no shelter, everything having been burned. What do you wish for your friend?

    I had memory of a story about a young child who was spending time with an elder neighbor who had recently lost his wife. The child’s mother was curious what the boy was doing with the old man for hours at a time. When she asked, the boys said, “Mostly, I help him cry.”

    Speaking about the two sides in any conflict Aaron continued: “You must support both and you must say not to both….” and reminded us we are not just our brothers’ keeper, we are our brothers.

    In closing Aaron spoke gently but firmly, “We truly are all one and all must live or all will perish….The choice is within you and in your dedication.”

    During the night a text message (likely a wrong number) woke me up. As I lay in the darkness I knew what I wished for my friend was what I wished for all beings. I wish hearts open enough to feel the pain and to feel also the gratitude. If I am not hungry, if I am not ill, if I am not afraid…. feel the gratitude and share that with the world.

    If feeling the pain generates only more pain, where is the relief?

    If not feeling the pain generates ego’s separation, who will help?

    The scripture in Daily Word for today:

    But those who look into the perfect law,
    the law of liberty,
    and persevere,
    being not hearers who forget
    but doers who act — they will be blessed
    in their doing.

    ~ James 1:25

    It is not just, what do you wish for your friend, it is also, “What do you wish for?”