Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: Barbara Brodsky

  • Make the Chili

    I shared this story at St. John UCC a few days ago:

      Make The Chili

      A good friend of mine unexpectedly lost his wife. A couple months later we were golfing together, chatting about nothing. He asked what my dinner plans were and I told him wifey wanted my homemade chili and cornbread, but I didn’t feel like stopping at the store. We golfed a few more minutes when he quietly said, “Make the chili.”

      It took me a few minutes to realize we were no longer talking about dinner. It was about going out of your way to do something for someone you love because at any moment, they could unexpectedly be taken from you. So today I’m sharing with you that wisdom handed to me by my dear friend, that I’ve thought of many times since that day. Next time someone you love wants you to go for a walk or watch a football game or play a board game or just put your phone down and give them your undivided attention, just do it. “Make the chili.”

    Today this story visits me with greatly expanded awareness.

    A precious dharma friend has been experiencing anxiety and full-blown-panic attacks, possibly a long-covid condition. In our discussion about all of this I mentioned three therapies that might be helpful. Self Havening, EFT, and EMDR. This is what I sent to her after we logged off Zoom.

    Self Havening

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQXbZmuSbFs

    A 10-minute, Self-Havening practice to reduce anxiety, enhance wellbeing, and develop compassion and loving-kindness. See neuroscienceofhealing.com for more resources.

    https://www.havening.org/

    Tapping Points and Instructional Video

    Tapping (EFT) is so powerful because it addresses the emotions that have been stored in our bodies as we developed.

    Here is the short instructional video introduction:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAclBdj20ZU

    The points are on the side of the hand, where the eyebrow begins, where the eyebrow ends on the side of your eye, under eye right on the bone, under your nose, on the crease of your chin, on your collar bone, under arm on the bra strap, and on the top of your head.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAclBdj20ZU&authuser=0

    EMDR Therapy

    Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy, commonly known as EMDR, is a mental health therapy method. EMDR treats mental health conditions that happen because of memories from traumatic events in your past. It’s best known for its role in treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but its use is expanding to include treatment of many other conditions.
    https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22641-emdr-therapy

    Our meditation teacher, Barbara Brodsky, reminds us in The Path of Clear Light: Stepping Out of the Shadow, “There is no need to fix them, though you will wish to tend to them.”

    When we sit in formal meditation, if a fly buzzes our face we resist the urge to swat or shoo it away, thus developing concentration and mindfulness. We are cultivating the gentle truth of tending to conditions. We know everything arises from conditions. We know conditions are impermanent.

    If a baby cries because it is hungry, does the mother refuse milk to teach the baby that hunger arises from conditions and will pass when the conditions cease? Of course not. The mother will tend to the baby.

    John and I have been spending time with my nephew as he makes a huge lifestyle change from over-the-road truck driving and living in the truck, to local work and being “home” every night. Complicated hugely by not having had a home or an income. The goal is to generate stability rather than becoming homeless every time he changes jobs. Today he came for home-made vegetable beef soup and cornbread and a shower.


    Just as judging “judging” is still judging, fixing “fixing” is still fixing.

    Conditions are calling us to tend to them.

    Make the chili.

  • Consecrate This

    Compassion becomes real
    when we recognize
    our shared humanity.

    ~ Pema Chödrön

    Posted on Facebook by a Reunion Living Ministry colleague:

    “To bless whatever there is, and for no other reason but simply because it is, that is what we are made for as human beings.”

    ~ David Steindal-Rast

    I bless the heat and the fact that I can experience it. What do you bless today?

    I commented on her post: I bless a clean toilet tank and bowl.

    Yesterday afternoon some workers broke a water riser three houses from us.The park notified all residents that we would be without water for a few hours. Shortly after the water was back on VERY rusty water came pouring in! If you do not see the photos, you can click on the title of this post to read it on the website.

    The water in the toilet bowl began to clear some after MANY flushings, but the inside of the toilet tanks were very stained this morning:

    To see that coming out of our water lines was pretty shocking. The young man who manages our park day-to-day assured us it was rust from the loss of and then re-establishment of the water pressure in the lines. He even came over late last evening. We sent him home with our appreciation and some of John’s garden bounty: Sugar Rush cherry tomatoes.

    Today my thoughts and prayers are with those who lost loved ones and have been devastated by the fires on Maui. John and I had one of our best ever breakfast-out experiences in the historic town of Lahaina when we stayed on Maui and we fully understand things are not over just because it stops making the news. Friends and neighbors in Florida are still navigating the devastation of Hurricane Ian, now almost eleven months ago.

    A friend just brought her elderly father home following a hip-replacement. Thankfully they are receiving support from hospice, but even with that support there is a lot to navigate.

    Another friend leaves her home here in Michigan and goes to Wisconsin for weeks at a time in support of her 100-years-plus father’s staying in his own home.

    Many of you are aware of Barbara Brodsky’s caring for her husband, Hal, in their home in spite of his being paralyzed on one side and having aphasia post-stroke. Plus Barbara is deaf, and she just spent months non-weight bearing due to infection in the bone on her toe. She is recovering well and grateful to be able to shower and now to swim!

    People navigate many challenges every day, day-to-day.

    Readers know about our precious Jackson. He has been seizure free since the first week of November, however, he is not yet talking and things like potty training that would be expected about this age (he will be three in December) is out of the question at this time. They will be evaluating him related to his possibly being on the autism spectrum, and we hope for benefit of more early intervention services and therapy. This is not the parenting experience our granddaughter dreamed of.

    When something happens many prayers and thoughts come flooding forth, but, then life goes on and we may not always remember that life goes on….

      Daily Reflection from Deep Spring

      There are places in this universe where there is terrible pain, darkness, misunderstanding, which lead to hatred, greed, and fear. What you do on this simple planet Earth as you raise the vibration here has the ability to move the expression of Divinity, Buddha Nature, Christ Consciousness—whatever you want to call it—out into the universe. It raises its vibration. It makes it more powerful. This is the core of the work you’re doing. It is not just for you, to wake up or to live your life more comfortably. I’m delighted to see you living your lives more comfortably, but that’s not the end result. And if that were the end result in your mind, can you see how it would limit you? But when you immediately consecrate this goodness, this opening heart, this clarity, “I consecrate this. I offer it to all beings everywhere, in all the universes, that all beings truly may have an end to suffering,” that heightens it for yourself and it makes it available everywhere. No insight, no movement of the open heart is ever lost.

    The opening words from Pema Chödrön say it all: our humanity is shared. Recognizing this makes compassion real.

    Whatever we go through, we consecrate this….

    Amen.

  • Radical Noticing

    How do we see the world as sacred again?
    By radical noticing.
    Looking for awe in all of life.

    ~ Lucy Jones posted on Gratefulness.org July 12, 2023

    Yesterday riding my bike I was inundated by awareness of the propensity to criticism. John’s clothes, the way someone says something, the decadent use of disposable bottles of water, the literal interpretation of the Bible, the killing of native grasses and planting of invasive species…. the list is endless.

    I long to see the world as sacred again.

    The world does not need to change for that to happen, but my consciousness does.

    The past few weeks I have been Zoom hosting a gathering of beings present with our meditation teacher, Barbara Brodsky. She is navigating a serious infection which got into the bone in her toe. After months of not being able to bear weight, and 9 weeks on antibiotics, she is in the wait-and-see if the infection is gone mode. Expressing that she was feeling some fear around all of this, the gathering of those willing to be with her was born.

    Barbara has spoken of our intention as “one foot for all” and “one heart for all.”

    Barbara’s closing comments Sunday, July 9, 2023:

    As I was talking with Aaron earlier this week and I was still meditating with the fear and concern about a possible amputation, he said is there any need to explore that reality of an amputation.

    I said no, but it could happen so I have to be prepared.

    He said being prepared doesn’t mean looking at the possible amputation. It means just watching fear as it comes up and knowing how to relate to that fear with love, but if you go into practicing having equanimity with a possible amputation, in some ways you are bringing energy to inviting the amputation. If instead, you simply practice loving kindness toward anything, even the mosquito bite, the thunder, whatever has disturbed your environment, just practicing love and continue to envision the perfectly healed foot.

    Last week a friend shared a body of work titled “How to Turn Your Client’s Negative Emotions into Positive Growth,” presented by Charles M. Jones. While it was not totally new information, I did have a very strong insight about the fear around managing John’s medical issues. Charles contrasts what he calls the “circumstantial view” with the “effectiveness view” of difficult emotions. The emotion we were working with was frustration. I was identifying the frustration around most of John’s complaints being the side-effects of medications: low energy, little stamina, lethargy.

    Following his process, I gained the insight that hidden beneath the surface frustration with all the medications was the concern of loss of financial independence if John would become disabled and need long-term care!

    From my journal this morning:

      V: Being prepared is fueled by fear. Notice now the thought about losing one’s money because of long-term care. Find that sweet spot of being guided in love verses being driven by fear.

    While we were in the meditation with Barbara on Sunday I kept seeing the image of an icicle. I saw aspects including the conditions which led to the formation, and both the beauty and the possible destruction. Later I read that the symbolic meaning of icicle is TEMPORARY DIFFICULTIES.

    As I visited with a friend recently we spoke of our longing to see the world as sacred. We have both navigated so much…. we share a legacy of shame.

    On the back cover of the book by Jenna Blum, one short sentence speaks volumes: “Those Who Save Us is a profound exploration of what we endure to survive and the legacy of shame.”

    Very near the end of the book the main character, Trudy (a German), is stunned that a man she has recently found such happiness and bliss with, Ranier (a Jew), is leaving. She begs him to tell her why and suggests reason after reason which in her own mind it might be. Finally, he speaks the saddest words in the world, “I do not deserve to have this. I am not meant to be this happy.”

    Trudy knew she could not argue with him because she knew that feeling all too well.

    Whoa….

    Looking again at Ken Wilber’s 3-2-1 process, I wonder if that is the key to our seeing the world as sacred. Maybe this is what allows us to see that it is all sacred. It already IS sacred. Perhaps we must do the shadow work and bring it all into the heart.

    These steps are summarized as FACE-TALK-BE and here’s how the
    technique is explained in Wilber’s little instruction book, The Integral
    Vision    : (See: 3-2-1 Process for the Shadow pdf)

      1. First thing in the morning (before getting out of bed), review your
      dreams and find someone who showed up with an emotional charge,
      positive or negative.
      2. FACE that person, holding them in mind.
      3. Then TALK to that person, or simply resonate with them.
      4. Finally BE that person by taking their perspective. For the sake of this
      exercise there is no need to write anything out—you can go through
      the whole process right in your mind.
      5. Before going to bed, choose a person who either disturbed or
      attracted you during the day. FACE them, TALK to them, and then BE
      them.

      This technique can be used not only with people who bring up an emotional
      charge, but also with situations and memories that create a disturbance.

    The same six letters make up both words.
    S C A R E D
    S A C R E D

    Whoa….

    This is the format of our time together with Barbara Brodsky on these Sunday noon gatherings: “We express our gratitude for the opportunity to come together as a group. We hold this highest intention not only for ourselves, but for the benefit of all. May all be blessed. May all be free from suffering. May all be healthy. May all be happy. May all feel joy. May all beings realize their intrinsic perfection and find perfect peace. Namaste’”

    I think I will add “May all see the world as sacred.”

  • Karma and Forgiveness

    We crave that deep place within
    that cannot be touched by the ups and downs of life,
    but rather just IS – connected and whole.

    ~ Katie Rubinstein

    For well over twenty years I have been working with a Karmic stream from a lucid past life. I will tell it like a fictional story so you will be able to hear the truth and make good use of the wisdom and compassion without needing to believe or disbelieve any details. For ease in writing I shall write it the way I experience it, which is in first person.

    The best stories begin with long, long ago in a far-away place I was born as a female to parents who were the beloved and trusted leaders in a utopian walled village. I was one with all of nature; able to speak and understand the birds and animals and revered by all in our community. Although I was born a female, I was announced as a male to avoid instability in the face of no heir. It was a truly blissful existence… until I was approaching puberty.

    Overhearing my parents discussing the dilemma that soon my body would betray us and violence was sure to occur, I ran away thinking that my being there was the problem so running away would be the solution. All delusion is that misguided, and this was a slippery slope for sure.

    I was befriended by a man who cared greatly for me as the son of the leaders but as time passed it became obvious I was a female, and his love became corrupt. He forced himself on me, resulting in my becoming pregnant. I was so frightened and ignorant and unhappy, and he was so frightened that I would run away he incarcerated me. I could not see or hear the birds and animals. I was bereft.

    Peeling a large sliver from the wooden tray he left food for me on, I dug into my wrist, bleeding to death, ending my life and the life of the fetus within me. That unborn one has been my business partner for over twenty years in this life, and the man who had kept me was my business partner’s wife in this lifetime. She loved me so much, but she was not happy with his continuing to work as she was retired and wanted him to retire. Soon after he and I formed a legal partnership and it was obvious he was not only not going to retire but would also be doing a large amount of consulting work with me, she moved out of state saying, “I will see you when I see you.” They were eventually divorced.

    “A retreat is best served when you acknowledge your awakeness yet know it is not fully realized yet.”

    “There is both wholesome and unwholesome karma. The intention is to go beyond karma.”

    “See it as the perfect unfolding of karma…. see the innate perfection everywhere…. you have a portion of it and a responsibility to release that portion for all beings. None of this can happen without intention.”

    “For every human there is wholesome karma regardless of how deeply mired in negativity.”

    “Each being that looks at unwholesome karma with forgiveness and love is living the intention and brings forth high vibration and love and to heal the whole earth.”

    My nighttime dreams and my meditations were filled with painful memories related to this karmic stream. Lucid. Vibrant. Complete with body sensations, smells, sights and sounds.

    On Wednesday during the sitting following Darshan with The Mother, as channeled by Barbara Brodsky, I experienced clear seeing of how “saying no with love” could have made space for less pain and suffering for everyone. I heard my former self speak from total love, compassion, and wisdom.

    “I am a child. I am very broken hearted, enough so that I do not want to live. If I die, so will your child. You took my body which was not freely given. Please let me go free. Do not force yourself on me again. I cannot promise that I will come to love you in that way, but I will live so your beloved child may also live. Will you at least try?”

    Thursday evening’s Dharma talk by John Orr was on faith. John quoted Thomas Merton as having said that faith begins when prayer becomes impossible and the heart has changed to stone. I know that feeling related to this karmic stream….

    I see Nuthatch as I open my eyes and I look up the spiritual meaning.

    When Nuthatch flutters into your awareness, it brings a message of keeping the faith and trusting what you know within, even if you can’t see it wiht your natural eyes.

    As I close my eyes during the final sitting of the day I hear, “You can’t go back, Dear One. Your heart is seeking to find freedom here now.”

    I sit through floods of torturous memories during meditation but this time I am able to see it all as more being purified. My intent is to lay it all down….

    Parallel to all of this inner journey, I have had a yeast flare. Such intense vaginal itching I could not sleep. The probable mental cause of candida according to Louise Hay is feeling very scattered. (As the retreat opened I was so scattered Sivia had to take over the hosting duties.) Lots of frustration and anger and untrusting in relationships. (Oh, yes, very familiar….) The affirmation to clear this pattern is beautifully simple: “I give myself permission to be all that I can be, and I deserve the very best in life. I love and appreciate myself and others.”

    “We have to be respectful of the pain the forgiveness is to release.”

    “Forcing forgiveness is another way of not forgiving ourselves.”

    “When we stop separating ourselves from others, it becomes THE PAIN, and compassion comes. With compassion there is no need for forgiveness.”

    Never put anyone out of your heart. ~ Maharshi

    I feel such gratitude for the yeast!

    “We don’t have to attain nirvana, because we ourselves are always dwelling in nirvana. The wave does not have to look for the water. It already is water. We are one with the ground of our being. Once the wave realizes that she is water all her fear vanishes.” ~ Thich Nhat Hahn

  • Walking Each Other Home

    “…we might almost say silence is the tribute we pay to holiness; we slip off words when we enter a sacred space, just as we slip off shoes. A ‘moment of silence’ is the highest honor we can pay someone; it is the point at which the mind stops and something else takes over (words run out when feelings rush in).” ~ Pico Iyer

    A few days ago as I was riding my bike, I stopped to pick up a Coke can. I give them to friends who let their grandson take them back for the deposit. In Michigan that is ten cents per can or bottle (carbonated or alcoholic beverages). It was an oversight to not include water or juices.

    Just a bit further on the ride when I did not stop to pick up a Gatorade bottle I felt a twinge. As I rode past the second non-deposit bottle I heard a voice inside say, “So, is it that you are concerned for and care for the planet, or are you just interested in the dime?” Wondering how familiar the average person is with that level of awareness of thought, feeling, impulse or insight.

    The following day I came home with two non-deposit bottles and one ten-cent can.

    This past week I was Zoom host for an online forum called Dying and Death: A Conversation. I hope many of you will have an opportunity to read the transcript when it is available, if you are interested. Some of the teachings were related to Buddhism, but even those which are specific to that path are relevant to any human being. I think you will easily see what I mean by taking a quick look at “Subjects for Contemplation” (or five facts that one should reflect on often, whether one is a woman or a man, lay or ordained).

    1. I am subject to aging, have not gone beyond aging.
    2. I am subject to illness, have not gone beyond illness.
    3. I am subject to death, have not gone beyond death.
    4. I will grow different, separate from all that is dear and appealing to me.
    5. I am the owner of my actions,
    heir to my actions,
    born of my actions,
    related through my actions,
    and have my actions as my arbitrator.
    Whatever I do, for good or for evil, to that will I fall heir.

    Think about how familiar number 5 is to all of us. As ye sow, so shall ye reap. What goes around comes around. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

    Yes, terms are for sure more conditioned to specific beliefs or traditions, but it is easy to see the universal meaning. The last question in the Q&A time was whether the term ‘our eternal soul that was created by the Divine from the beginning and is ongoing’ is the same as “our true essence’ which was used often by the facilitators.

    Barbara Brodsky clarified that we are not ‘created’ but expressions of the divine. “We are that, otherwise there is duality. If we are not the divine (however we name that) but the Divine is out there and created us there is duality.” Arron says his experience is that there is no duality and we are all expressions. He uses the sun and the sunbeams as an example. The sunbeams are not created – the sun beams are the sun.

    Interesting for sure that this was the last question. It certainly makes the point.

    During the upcoming live-streaming retreat (June 3-1)) I will be staying in the efficiency apartment at the new home of my dear friends, Delcy and Tom Kulhman, who owned and operated Still Waters Retreat House for decades. I was a frequent guest at Still Waters during that time and this will be the first opportunity since October 2019 to have solitude during a retreat. Stacey will be visiting John during my time away. I know they will have a great time. They always do. And I will be a little envious and a lot grateful.

    This morning I opened email from a friend and read this daily thought with the heading: “Taking a time-out will benefit everyone.” It went on to say, “Reacting too quickly to any situation, grave or mundane, can lead us astray. Only by pausing first to hear God’s suggestion can we be certain of doing the right thing or saying what’s best. Somebody has to be willing to back away from an ugly conflict, or it can turn violent. Let’s be the ones.” This reminder came from the book, A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance rings so true.

    The deepest work of my heart at this time is softening around judgment and comparison. My aspiration is to be more legitimate with the commitment to care for and about the planet without feeling like others who do not recycle or choose to use disposables without thought to the environment are somehow making a wrong choice.

    John Orr spoke of a friend from his youth who has expressed some fear of an “eternal” judgment following death. Here is John’s precious reply to his friend:

    I said to my friend, ‘Nobody’s going to judge you but yourself’. The judgment, any judgment that’s going to be happening is going to be happening within your own mind. And we have the opportunity to look at that judgment of ourselves, judgments of others, in our practice. And if we work with this, if we work with judgment in the judging mind now, in this lifetime, and see that a lot of that judgment comes from our fear, comes from our negativity, especially negativity and hatred towards the self. Judgment comes from the memories of unskillful things that we have done, or the feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy, these different habit pattern energies we experience in being human.
    ~ John Orr, Dying and Death: A Conversation, May 20, 2023

    Oh, yes, Ram Dass is so right. We are all just walking each other home….

  • Killdeer Babies: Know Where to Look

    When you cease to relate to the darkness
    as something separate or other than the light,
    this invites the darkness into its sacred expression.
    In its highest expression
    it comes as teacher — perhaps not pleasant,
    but as teacher.
    Pain, fear, grief —
    not separate from the light.
    ~ Aaron

    On Tuesday evening at the Awakening and Living Awake class we heard, “When it is dawn in your back yard, it is dusk on the other side of the world.” We have been looking at our relationship to darkness over the past few years. Aaron has suggested we ask ourselves what duality (I would edit this to be “seeming” duality) we most frequently get caught in. Aaron said Barbara most often gets caught in wanting to have a body that is pain free and wanting a husband who can participate with her.

    Someone spoke of the idea that it “should” (I would add or should not) be this or that way, rather than allowing it to be the way it is. The term “duality of expectations” was used.

    In small group I spoke of my most frequent experience being a state that is not even holding an intention or an intention being held but awareness that is aware of holding and aware of being held where both exist. Words seem inadequate, but I think of it as a transcendent awareness. A classmate spoke of the need to not see yourself as “the kind one” or get caught up in being “the meditating one” as an identity. This is just another type of duality of expectations.

    For example, I have been blessed to see three baby Killdeer on my early morning bike ride. The thing that is most unusual about this sighting is Killdeers’ determination to protect their offspring at all costs, even at great risk of harm to themselves. I recall having seen an adult Killdeer along that street a few times, but I was focused on the nesting Night Herons I have been watching up in the tree along that same street.

    Truth be told, Killdeer chicks are born with great camouflage. Streaks of color make them near impossible to be seen against gravel, brush, or leaves.

    Even so, the adults try every trick in the books to divert attention away from their young. They will often pretend they have an injured wing to get your attention and flail on the ground. This behavior has resulted in the Killdeer coming to signify protectiveness, family values, and self-sacrifice.

    Once I had seen the chicks, the next day when first one and then a second adult crossed the street in front of me going off to my right I knew where not to look.

    Looking in the opposite direction, I could see all three chicks directly across the street!

    “Pure sheltered innocence of childhood” is also part of the symbolism of Killdeer.

    We do not enjoy difficult experiences. It is natural to be resistant when things do not go or look as we expected. Our last few days in Paradise are spent with the house we are renting getting a new roof. The damage occurred six months ago when Hurricane Ian made landfall. We have been here since December 20, AND NOW A NEW ROOF? All this week, as have been trying to pack and load the cars the yard and drive have been booby trapped with roofing nails!

    This is not what I wanted. But THIS ignites a spot previously touched. I had already experienced the home owner as dismissive about our finding two huge (dead) roaches in the pots and pans cupboard and the lack of cleanliness upon arrival. We learn both skillful means and unskillful means from our previous experiences.

    Because of my previous experience I knew where not to look and I knew where to look to see what I wanted to see: the Killdeer babies.

    In its highest expression pain, fear, and grief come as teacher — perhaps not pleasant, but teacher none-the-less. Getting caught in duality causes such profound pain. If we want to see what we want to see, we must know where to look.

    We are all moving through our past. We were children. We were adolescents. We have had lots of experiences and some may have been challenging, unpleasant, dismissive or even abusive. We are also moving into our future where we do not yet know what we will see or not see. We do not know what will surprise and delight us — or surprise and offend or harm us. This is the nature of working with both the darkness and the light.

    Would you think it possible to get two full-sized lampshades into a 2-quart pitcher? I was able to roll up two full-sized lamp shades and slip them neatly into this pitcher for safe travels North. Here is a photo to prove it!

    As Robert Fulghum wrote in All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: “Don’t believe everything you think!”

  • Birds at Oakwood

    The 8-day silent meditation retreat will take more than one Yellow Brick Road to share with readers. Day One included 22-month old, Jackson, our great grandson, being air-lifted from the hospital in Chattanooga to Vanderbilt after he had a seizure in the parking garage following discharge.

    Day Eight is complete with nurse Linda diagnosing the rash I have been plagued with all week as likely a yeast infection. I will spare you photos of that, but more about both of these strong catalysts are sure to appear at a later date….

    Birds were an active part of my inner process this past week, so I will share with you their respective totem meanings in the order of their appearance:

    1. Chickadee Meaning

    Lots of Chickadees were in the grasses out back when I went for a short walk on dinner break of the Deep Spring Center Oakwood-at-home retreat with Barbara Brodsky and John Orr, and a host of spirit friends, as well as dharma sisters and brothers.

    People with the chickadee totem animal are fiercely protective of their “flock.” This manifests itself as vigilance which can at times become excessive. It is crucial that people with this totem animal learn to recognize the difference between healthy caution and anxiety.

    Chickadee tells you to be cheerful and hold your head up in all situations. You can transform your life and dictate your outcomes by thinking positively.

    Click to hear the Chickadee.

    2. Swan Meaning

    Each day I would choose a “touch” stone. I held the swan rose quartz on Monday.

    You become aware of your own inner beauty. You also unfold the ability to bridge to other realms and powers. The swan medicine helps you see the beauty of yourself as well as of others despite outer appearances. And that ability makes you like a ‘magnet’ that draws other people to you.

    3. Woodpecker Meaning

    The woodpecker teaches us to look beneath the surface of things and to open up our minds to the hidden meanings, lessons, and opportunities that life on earth has to offer.

    4. Blue Jay Meaning

    Blue Jays relate to everything from strength to confidence to communication, depending on the context in which you see them. For some, these birds have the reputation of being loud, aggressive, and mean. However, certain cultures see them as lucky or a symbol of good things to come.

    5. Crow Meaning

    Crows show up to let you know that there are spiritual shifts happening around you and remind you to pay attention to the spiritual messages that are sent to guide you. They represent transformation, cycles, psychic tools, and insight into unseen realms. Crows are problem solvers and can help you tune into a solution when you are faced with a challenge.

    6. Sparrow Meaning

    As the carillon at Pilgrim UCC church on the corner nearby began playing, the Sparrows in the shrub just outside my window began to sing right along! I noted in my retreat journal that this was happening, and clearly I heard in my mind, “Would you miss my sweet song just because I’m so ordinary?”

    Surprising Sparrow facts.

    The sparrow totem animal is connected with unity, selflessness, and integrity. People with the sparrow as their totem tend to be great team players…

    The House Sparrow (Passer domesticus) is, in fact, one of the most common and widespread animals on this planet. Although our familiarity with these birds often desensitizes us to their beauty, these common birds are no less fascinating and beautiful.

    Sacred to the goddess Aphrodite of the Greek pantheon, to Vishnu in Hindu mythology, and both Branwen and Rhiannon in Welsh mythology, the sparrow’s common nature has earned it a place in cultural traditions around the world.

    7. Blue Grosbeak Meaning

    Okay, the Blue Grosbeak sighting was in the wonderful article by my friend, Hart Rufe. His article posted on November 1, but I just saw it today after the end of the retreat. You can access the column at: https://www.stlucieaudubon.org/hart-beat-2022. New with this column is access to all past columns right in the top of the current page

    Symbolic of many things, including faith, adaptability, romance, and good news; the grosbeak is an endless source of wisdom. Like all birds, grosbeaks teach us to appreciate the beauty and blessings of the natural world. Different grosbeak colors have different symbolic meanings. Rose feathers symbolize emotions and they tell you to find a heart song that will heal your pain. Blue and green feathers signify abundance, fortune, harmony, and the possibility of a wedding.

    It is my sacred intention for that wedding to be a union of each human being with the higher self. May the benefits of this retreat be a blessing to all beings.

    Thank you, Claudia Mierau, for sharing this beautiful poem from the book, Go In and In, by Danna Faulds.

      “Allow” by Danna Faulds

      There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightning bolt, containing a tornado.
Dam a stream and it will create a new channel.
Resist, and the tide will sweep you off your feet.

      Allow, and grace will carry you to higher ground.
The only safety lies in letting it all in – 
the wild and the weak –
 fear, fantasies, failures, and success.

      When loss rips off the doors of the heart
 or sadness veils your vision with despair,
 practice becomes simply bearing the truth. In the choice to let go of your known way of being, the whole world is revealed to your new eyes.

  • Good Can Come From This

    This post was started on October 17, 2022. Today is now ten days later. I cannot explain fully what derailed my completing the entry, but, say only, a lot has changed during this interim. The post began with this:

      On Sunday, October 16, this loving blessing came through Barbara Brodsky:

      The Mother to Debra (10/16/2022)

      I love you.

      I know you heard what I said to the friend before you. The joys, the challenges, and with the challenge, “What gift have you brought me?”

      You are wise, My Dear One, and you understand that the challenge comes with a gift, but sometimes in your hurry to get through the challenge you don’t pause long enough to really see and to know the gift. Watch that fix-it mind that wants to push through it rather than pausing and saying, “Yes, ah…. Challenge, challenge. I am here to receive your gift.”

      And just rest there for a bit.

      The gifts reveal themselves to you but you’re still in a hurry to move through the challenge rather than experiencing the fullness of the gifts.

      “What gift have you brought me? Thank you. Thank you.”

      And it’s fine at the same time to say, “Yes, but this is too heavy for me right now so I wish to release it.” It’s fine to ask that, and the gift will return again in another form.

      I am with you and helping you. I love you.

    The “challenge” over the past few days surrounds our 22-month-old great grandson, Jackson. On Monday evening, October 24, Jackson had a seizure. He was taken by ambulance and admitted to Pediatric Intensive Care at Children’s Hospital at Erlanger in Chattanooga, Tennessee, where he has continued to have absence seizures, meaning they are detected on the EEG, but not by the human eye.

    Imagine a toddler with tubes and leads and restraints, and lots of pokes and lots of medications, and nothing at all normal…. that is where Himz (one of our nickname for Jackson) still is at the time of this post on Thursday morning, October 27.

    Of course, our concern and compassion is for Jackson, but also for his mom, our granddaughter, Courtney. And for our daughter, Stacey, Courtney’s mom. And for Jackson’s dad; Papa Bear, G-Pa…. Uncles, Brad and Adam. We are all shook to the core with these developments.

    John is so bonded to Jackson. Jackson was a major part of John’s healing goals when he went through the open-heart surgery in January. Getting to Tennessee in April on our way back to Michigan was about seeing Jackson.The color of Jackson’s favorite green blanket became a cue image for John’s recovery.

    This has been such a clear time for me of noticing myriad points of view in a single experience. My own childhood medical trauma (being hospitalized and treated for polio at age five); my terror when Stacey was about that age and face-planted into a fieldstone fireplace requiring a trip to the emergency room for stitches; month’s old grandson Brad’s being taken by ambulance during a Saturday night snowstorm with RSV…. Seeing every condition like waves in the ocean. Each appearing as separate, but part of the whole.

    Here is a recent photo of Jackson happily eating his first sandwich.

    I was not very skillful when Stacey had to have stitches. In fact, they would not allow me to go into the room with her because I was so distraught. The memory of John and me leaving the hospital with our baby (Stacey) folded into the crib under an oxygen tank with her baby (Brad) is as active now as it was 32 years ago.

    Each experience is woven together. Some threads are more obvious. Some patterns are more hidden.

    On Tuesday afternoon as Jackson was being sedated for an MRI, having a spinal tap to rule out some infection that might be causing the seizures, and wired with a continual EEG…. I wrote in my journal: “Good can come from this.”

    At meditation online that afternoon Sheilana’s poignant opening words, ”Why do we try to figure it out? Why don’t we just live and breathe and let it just be what it is? Is there any reason for me to believe that it should be anything or any way other than it is?”

    The theme for that evening’s class with Barbara Brodsky: When something startles you, or pain arises or fear, what state and stage of consciousness opens habitually with that challenge?

    Wednesday morning waiting news about how they were all doing, I put the following scripture on the Basham Family list:

    Romans 8:26

    In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans….

    Again this morning I wrote in my journal: “Good can come from this.”

    P.S. On Wednesday afternoon Stacey stepped out of Jackson’s room to give us a call. It was the first time we had spoken on the phone since all of this occurred and she was crying. A stranger handed her a card. Many of you have seen that card in a Sacred story post, but for any who have not, here is the link: Card From a Stranger
    P.S.S. Just as I was about to push publish, news that when the EEG was taken off Jackson sat up and smiled. His mom said, “I never knew how much I missed that smile!”

  • Embrace Your Radiance and Power

    Sometimes it takes hindsight to see most clearly how to move forward.

    This morning I came across a Beyond Mastery Newsletter post from ten years ago. The title of that post is “You’re Pushin’ Too Hard.” Here it is:

      I may have been affected by a week of flu, but these words to the song “You’re Pushin’ Too Hard,” by the Seeds, just keep rolling in my head: “You’re pushin’ too hard, what you want me to be, about the things you say, you’re pushin’ too hard every night and day…. All I want is to just have fun, live my life like it’s just begun.…”

      In Jin Shin Jyutsu, pushin’ too hard is called efforting, and in ways perhaps known only to the soul, it is based on a lack of trust. I don’t often think of myself as lacking trust, and I often speak quite to the contrary, expressing ultimate trust in Divine Intelligence, or LIFE, or the Universe, what is sometimes in this culture called God. What does it mean, then, that efforting is oh, too, familiar….

      An exercise I have invited myself and others to play goes something like this, “If you could have anything you wanted, what would that be? And if you had that now, what would your having it now allow you to do or have or be that you have seemed unable to do or have or be currently?”

      Recently, I am very aware of the gap in ease I experience about that answer. I know my life would have an element of service in it, and yet, I am not called to anything concrete in the ways I used to be. I know my life would have time for balance of body, mind, and spirit. I would exercise, preferably by riding my bike most days. I would eat healthy food, and enjoy well-prepared meals. I would meditate daily, as well as join group meditation. I would write. I have come to recognize how much writing is central in my spiritual balance.

      When I ask if I would work, I cannot answer that with perfect clarity. Would I teach? Maybe. Would I preach if I had the opportunity? Maybe.

      One question that can still bring tears to my eyes has to do with a sense of failure. I know my mother felt she had wasted her life. At the time she was expressing those feelings, they struck me as so odd, after all, she had me! Perhaps she had been responding to a deeper dream that had not revealed itself in her doing. She was an amazing cook. She could make an eight-course meal look easy. Her own needs for food were minimal, but her need to feed those she loves was nearly insatiable. Meatloaf for one, roast beef for another. Lasagna. Cornbread. When the kids were all young, and several of them preferred the center of the pan of cinnamon rolls, she would make several, so everyone got a center!

      I am not sure my soul needs that level of pandering to, but it does need to be heard, and honored, and allowed a say in what I do with my time and energy.

      I shall give my soul pen here and see what is desiring to be shared!

      What small gift can I bring?

      • I can open the door for someone who is rushing in or out.

      • I can listen to someone who is feeling alone or confused.

      • I can remember to breathe when those around me are in stressful moments.

      • I can pick up a piece of trash when I see it and not harbor a thought about how it came to be there in the first place.

      • I can tip well when service was poor and tip even better when service is great.

      What might it mean that I find no lofty goals when I look deeply inside? Perhaps nature has seeped into my being and contentment is being born where restlessness once whipped my moods like March winds working kites as delighted children watch with their eyes all aglow. I cannot imagine the roses pining or the Bluebird considering a life being lived a failure.

      Maybe seen in its true light, even the greatest loss is really a gain. I am willing to think of it this way and give it time to see if that is what is happening.

    Re-reading this is especially significant after the message I received during Darshan (a blessing from The Mother) during Remembering Wholeness with Barbara Brodsky yesterday.

      I know you are familiar with the experience of shame. I don’t mean an intense horror “OH!” of shame, but just, “Oh, I only got 98 on that. I could have gotten 100. I could have put a little more love into it; I could have paid a little more attention.”

      Sometimes being more perfectionist can be helpful — if someone is lazy or sloppy about things — but when one is already giving so much love, then being perfectionists is a way of negating the gift of the self. What does that mean?

      I think it’s mostly an old habit, but not entirely, so, I’d like you to ask when you move into that sense of subtle smallness, that sense of, “I could have done it better,” to ask, “What do I gain by putting myself down in that way? Why can I not embrace my full radiance and power?”

      And, especially I’m talking about power.

      What if you are as powerful as I know you to be? What then?

      I look forward to seeing what evolves as you start to open up to your power.

      I love you, and I am with you.

    When I read down my bulleted list from 2012, I can see that I live all of those desires. It is time for a new list….

    What might evolve as I open fully to my power?

      • I will welcome each day with expectancy that the power of the Holy Spirit is alive within me.

      • I will give each experience room to reveal the Holy Spirit’s grace and gift that experience offers.

      • I will worry less about dying and care more about living as a radiant expression of Holy Spirit.

      • I will express exuberantly the power of the Holy Spirit for the good of all.

      • I will see a 98 as “Well done, good and faithful servant.”


    A monarch butterfly travels as much as 100 miles a day
    during its 3,000-mile migration south.

  • Moments of Choice

    If you want to go quickly, go alone.
    If you want to go far, go together.
    ~ African proverb

    Several weeks ago I saw a coyote pup in the field adjacent to Pilgrim Congregational UCC Church, directly across from our park. I mentioned it in a previous post titled: Coyote Pup and Purposeful Purse Project. I had stopped and we watched one another for quite some time, but it made the pup nervous, so, “He pulled away first but I continued to watch as he gingerly picked his way to the church parking lot and out of my view.”

    Edward Salim Michael (1921-2006) was an extraordinarily talented composer and had tremendous potential as an artist, but most importantly, he was a mystic, almost a natural mystic. For those who have never heard of him, it is worth noting that his work was about how you can achieve a direct inner experience of your higher nature and the after-death state (from which you originate and to which you will return).

    If you are interested in what is referred to as “the law of attention,” or you know you long to have an experience of “hearing the holy sound,” you might want to check out The Price of a Remarkable Destiny: The Life and Spiritual Journey of Edward Salim Michael.

      This book–at once simple and powerful–stands as a monument to the lifelong spiritual struggles of Edward Salim Michael, struggles that he heroically surmounted on his path to enlightenment. Due to the circumstances of his birth, Michael had no education, no mother tongue, and no book learning when he was drafted at the age of 19 into the British Royal Air Force during World War II. After learning to read and write he became an accomplished classical composer in France. In 1949, after seeing a statue of a Buddha for the first time, he experienced a powerful awakening of his innate Buddha Nature, which inspired him to begin a sustained and extremely disciplined meditation practice.

    On Saturday morning, I rode my bike to the remembrance garden at the hospice building in preparation for meeting with my friend Kim, to officiate the Celebration of Life of her 32 year old son. I saw a dead coyote pup on the edge of Maiden Lane. I cannot say with certainty that it was the pup I had seen previously. I was instantly reminded of having seen both the peaceful fawn corpse, then the traumatized doe corpse. I looked up “coyote” totem meaning again:

    The coyote is here to remind you that even if you don’t feel it, you actually have the capacity to handle any situation you find yourself in.

    It seems right now every human being on the planet is experiencing many moments of choice.

    This morning, looking back over my notes from a healing workshop with Barbara Brodsky, and Aaron, on Wednesday, May 24, 2017, I read about ancestral baggage.

    Aaron: When I think of ancestral baggage, I think of literally the karma one has taken on from one’s physical ancestors, both family and of a wider group – cultural group, religious group, even human karma. The personal karma is different.

    For example, as I meet, counseling and working with people, there is a generation today, many of whom experienced the Holocaust from one side, one perspective or another. Many who experienced it, not personally but had parents and grandparents who experienced it, are carrying some of that “personal baggage” from it and in healing it through finding forgiveness for the places of fear and hatred in their own hearts, healing that in themselves. They don’t have to be thinking of the situation of the Holocaust, but they are helping to free the anger and fear and hatred of their ancestors.

    Those from the other perspective, who were among those who were doing such great harm, may experience the same thing. There’s often enormous shame and guilt in the incarnate self, without any real understanding of where it came from. Its not personal karma, but they came in to the incarnation with the intention to help to heal, to free some of the ancestors who are very much trapped in the terrible things they did and the self-remorse and self-hatred over those things.

    Tavis: Can one heal, then, these longstanding ancestral issues by addressing one’s own guilt, shame….

    Aaron: Absolutely. And this is the best place to release it. When you release it for yourself, you release it for everyone. So, this is very powerful.

    What to do if you see a coyote?
    If you see a coyote during the daytime, you should exhibit caution, as that coyote may have become habituated to humans (and may be more likely to attack). If you are approached by a coyote, you should yell, wave your arms, and/or throw something at the coyote (do not run away).

    May all beings resist the urge to run away when we witness ancestral karma, and may we each make the most of many moments of choice.