Tag: love

  • Say Only

    In September of 2018, I made a two-year commitment to a study called “The Dharma Path,” with Barbara Brodsky and Aaron. I have once again been amazed at how your intention creates your experience. In Buddhism, dharma means “cosmic law and order,” and is also applied to the teachings of the Buddha. In Buddhist philosophy, dhamma/dharma is also the term for “phenomena.”

    About ten days ago, one of the board members of Deep Spring (the organization Barbara Brodsky founded) asked for my help with marketing and communication. While we were talking, a woman kept coming to mind. I made contact with this woman asking if she might be willing to help. Her reply was, “God no! I hate that stuff. I don’t even do my own. I pay tens of thousands so I don’t have to.” I thanked her for knowing what was true for her, and asked if she might know of anyone who would work with us pro bono.

    Several days later, just as I was mentioning some of this to my husband, I received a text from this woman, saying she had made contact with a marketing person who was willing!

    Wow. Can you feel the timing?

    A few days later, I had a consult with the marketing person. We had a good connection, one made even more precious for me because the woman’s voice took me to my heart. Her voice sounded exactly like the voice of a woman I was blessed to work with years ago. The story of that woman is in my book of stories: Falling Together in Love.

    I asked if she knew Barbara’s story; did she know Barbara is deaf. No, she did not. I shared how Barbara had lost her hearing (and her equilibrium!) at the birth of her first child. The loving non-physical being, Aaron, who teaches through Barbara, came forth in spirit to help her find peace from the suffering. I mentioned how people sign the first letter of each word to help Barbara read lips.

    Chills ran up and down my spine when the woman told me she had attended an ASL elementary school. American sign language! The marketing woman knows and can sign the entire alphabet…

    What are the odds? Right.

    We agreed to another call and were excited to proceed with discovering how she could help the Deep Springs board meet growth goals.

    I spoke with my friend who had made the connection, told her about the sign language connection and that the reason she was able to say yes to working pro bono was because she is creating an agency, and has an intern starting after the first of the year. It would be a great opportunity for her to develop skill working with a board, and possible because of the intern.

    My friend who connected me to the marketing person is looking for a new marketing agency….

    This morning I opened an email message from the marketing person. She found out that the intern can only work with local businesses, so she is unable to help us.

    Can you feel the waves of up and down? This is how life rolls. The entire point of the two-year study is stabilizing the heavy emotions so we are not tossed around by our grasping at things we want and our pushing against the unwanted.

    We do not know what is best, but we can trust.

    While the rest of the story unfolds, you can choose to stay present with your breath, remembering that it is the nature of life for conditions to change. Recently I have used the metaphor of a kaleidoscope—you cannot move just one single piece of glass. Everything is connected to everything, and god is good.

    Years ago I read a story about an old man with a white horse. It has come to be “Say Only” in my mind, and many of you have heard it over the years. Several online versions exist, but since I read it first in Max Lucado’s book, In the Eye of the Storm, below is that version.

    Max Lucado (In the Eye of the Storm)
    The Old Man and the White Horse

    Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before – such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.

    People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. “This horse is not a horse to me,” he would tell them. “It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend.” The man was poor and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.

    One morning he found that the horse was not in his stable. All the village came to see him. “You old fool,” they scoffed, “we told you that someone would steal your horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How could you ever protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been to high. Now the horse is gone and you’ve been cursed with misfortune.”

    The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?”

    The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”

    The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”

    The people of the village laughed. They thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was a fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, and old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.

    After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again, the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. “Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”

    The man responded, “Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of one phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?”

    “Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is one fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.”

    “Maybe the old man is right,” they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned. With a little work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.

    The old man had a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgments.

    “You were right,” they said. “You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken both his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever.”

    The old man spoke again. “You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”

    It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again.

    “You were right, old man,” They wept. “God knows you were right. This proves it. Your son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever.”

    The old man spoke again. “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this. Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”

  • Depression (The Secret We Share)

    It might be that suicide and depression came to mind this morning after learning last evening that the son of a friend/colleague just took his own life. Or it might be that my nephew has again been back in jail, still seeking sobriety and a solid footing on the path of successful reentry to society after having been in prison for committing a felony. Or it might be knowing that on average, adjusted for age, the annual U.S. suicide rate increased 24% between 1999 and 2014, from 10.5 to 13.0 suicides per 100,000 people, the highest rate recorded in 28 years.

    Whatever led me to a powerful TED talk about depression by someone who knows, I am grateful for the awareness that “The opposite of depression is vitality.”

    “The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality, and it was vitality that seemed to seep away from me in that moment.” In a talk equal parts eloquent and devastating, writer Andrew Solomon takes you to the darkest corners of his mind during the years he battled depression. That led him to an eye-opening journey across the world to interview others with depression — only to discover that, to his surprise, the more he talked, the more people wanted to tell their own stories.

    See Depression: The Secret We Share.

    Search for tips on overcoming depression, and access the free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

    Writing helps me work through strong emotions. Doing energy work helps me increase my vitality. Self-care is vital, but depression is more than lack of self-care. Depression can be overcome and there is nothing to be ashamed or afraid of about seeking help.

    Whether this is for you or someone you care about, may all beings find relief. May all beings know love. May all beings come to the end of suffering.

  • Fingers on Fur

    Preparations are underway to head to Smyrna tomorrow. We never say or think we are leaving Pine Island after enjoying “the season” here—we are going to see the grandkids!

    Recently my brother-in-law experienced the death of the woman he had cared for the past five years. He was committed to her. They married in November, so he could insure her wishes could be carried out. She wanted to stay in her home, and she did. I sent him a snapshot of the empty cupboard here on Bounty Lane saying, “Reminding both of us an empty space sits in the field of Infinite Possibilities.”

    Last week I rode my bike to the auto repair shop near here where a resident cat I like to visit lives. His name is Sonny.



    When I came through the door, helmet on my head, Sonny was up on the counter being petted by a customer while the owner of the shop did the paperwork. Sonny made eye contact with me and I said to him, in my high-pitched kitty-loving voice, “Yes, you’re the one I came to see.”

    Sonny shot down off that counter, right out from from under the customer’s hands, and ran over to me. The customer said to the shop owner, “Well, he obviously knows her!”

    It was my first visit this season and I had such a feeling of nostalgia wondering why I had waited so long to do something I love so much. I wrote this poem. Many of you will relate.

    Meow Musings

    Don’t get your dander up
    Sonny’s just a pussy
    not at all a push-over
    even rather fussy

    He fancies petting
    and so do I
    rubbing him the right way
    produces a sigh

    It’s not all pretense
    this is genuine love
    any time kitty time
    is a cut above

    Feline fancier
    that I am
    that cat got me
    out of a jam

    Sour mood, bad food
    whatever ails you
    fingers on fur
    chases the blues

    Debra Basham 3/24/2018

    Amidst it all, we must make time (we will never find time) to do the things that bless our hearts and minds. I will go to meditation today while John goes to play music. He is at shuffleboard this morning. Everything will get done.

    And Deep Spring Center’s Thought for Today:
    “Try as hard as you will, you cannot hold the world from changing. You cannot hold other people or yourself from changing. To try to do that with yourself so as to please another is unloving to yourself, asking yourself not to be true to yourself and your experience. It’s also an unloving to another because it gives them a false hope that you are as they may try to make you to be. The greatest gift you can give is the willingness to have enough love and respect for another not to live your life around their fear.”

  • Time Means Nothing at All


    Time has a way of slipping through our fingers. Looking back, we ask where it has gone. Of course, time means nothing at all.

    A woman who lived with us for several years had an old cassette with a song by that title. It was so long ago I don’t honestly know who did that or what the rest of the words are in her version, but I found a powerful song by that title by Lisa Mitchell.

    “Time Means Nothing At All” Click on the title to listen, or just read the lyrics.

    Do you know that I spend my days,
    walking the streets and lanes,
    looking through window panes,
    in and out of quaint cafes.

    Me and myself,
    we have an ongoing war,
    there is an ongoing love affair,
    giving up, keeping score.

    Well I hope that we find each other,
    before I lose myself,
    I hope that you get to me,
    before my own world does.

    See, me and myself,
    we have an ongoing war,
    there is an ongoing love affair,
    giving up, keeping score.

    And time means nothing at all,
    our minds are stronger than we give them credit for,
    Distance means nothing at all.

    Do you know that I spend my days,
    walking the streets and lanes,
    looking through window panes,
    in and out of quaint cafes.

    Me and myself,
    we have an ongoing war,
    there is an ongoing love affair,
    giving up, keeping score.

    Well I hope that we find each other,
    before I lose myself,
    I hope that you get to me,
    before my own world does.

    See, me and myself,
    we have an ongoing war,
    there is an ongoing love affair,
    giving up, keeping score.

    And time means nothing at all,
    our minds are stronger than we give them credit for,
    Distance means nothing at all.

    Most interesting to me is the timing of my remembering this. Last evening a friend shared the work of Ross Rosenberg: Narcissism, Co-dependence, and the Self-love Deficit Disorder. Wow…. Rosenberg has established new definitions of some challenging personality problems.

    For example, “Self-love Deficit Disorder” is his term for co-dependency. You can appreciate that these issues are on continuum. As you learn in Psychology 101, it is easy to see yourself in the descriptions of the pathology wherever you are on his “continuum of self” theory. Rosenberg addresses a pathological loneliness that fuels a pull to relationships that don’t work but are difficult to extricate yourself from. In one interview, he uses a term I had never heard of, Gaslighting.

    Gaslighting is best understood in the 1944 film of that name starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. Gaslighting is a manipulative, conscious, malicious covert strategy which convinces another they have a problem that does not truly exist.

    We can all benefit from an awareness of who and how we really are. Non-pathological levels of narcissism and co-dependency exist in each of us and being able to see what triggers us is crucial to being genuinely healthy. We can identify real problems we have had relating and choose to be self-loving enough to navigate our relationships honestly and skillfully.

    We all have a history, and most of us were gaslit, but when it comes to developing true self-love time means nothing at all…

    (See Psychology Today: 7-Stages of Gaslighting in Relationship)

  • Layers of Illusion

    When I saw this photo and quotation from 11:11 Awakening Code on my sister’s Facebook page, I resonated to the truth and once again appreciated Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as EFT or just “tapping.”


    I have been participating in the 2018 World Tapping Summit for the last ten days. Learn more at thetappingsolution.com. What I value about the Summit is the wide variety of helpful subjects and applications that are appropriate for tapping. Tapping is easy, it is available, and it is powerful.

    Next month I will have the honor of introducing teachers to tapping as a way of bringing a better learning experience to their students. Always, it begins with us.

    A few days ago our daughter, Stacey, got a call from her husband in the middle of the night. She was visiting us as he began wearing a heart monitor for seven days to see what was happening while his heart was out of normal sinus rhythm. He has been being treated for AFib for several years, but has been out of rhythm for a few weeks now. Shortly after getting the monitor hooked up and falling asleep, he got the call that he needed to go to ER immediately. I’m sure he was not calm, but he did tell the doctor who called that this had been going on for a couple of weeks and since he felt fine could he safely wait until morning and call his cardiologist. He did that, BUT the cardiologist did not call him back all day.

    It was nearing 5:00 pm when Stacey, understandably more stressed about things because she was not there with him, called the doctor’s office and rattled some chains. The long and short of it is that the office did not return his call immediately because they had more information. They knew what his heart rate was. While it was rapid enough to warrant the midnight call for liability purposes, it was not higher than might have been expected for someone out of rhythm.

    Stacey was obviously relieved and also annoyed.

    This is where tapping comes in. We often are dealing with life’s circumstances we cannot control. The layers of illusion are burned away moment-to-moment and day-by-day. Life may not settle or unfold in a smooth path to the finish line. However, always the truth of who and what we really are reveals itself in those circumstances, not in spite of them.

  • Spring

    There is a hard truth to be told: before spring becomes beautiful, it is plug ugly, nothing but mud and muck.
    I have walked in the early spring through fields that will suck your boots off,
    a world so wet and woeful it makes you yearn for the return of ice.
    But in that muddy mess, the conditions for rebirth are being created.

    ~ Parker Palmer

    No phrase brings me peace of mind any quicker than “Spring always follows winter.” In Michigan this year, as many other areas of the U.S., this is certainly a welcome thought. Spring is on the way.

    In the Imagine Healing process you use your imagination to generate detailed images of the stages for what you desire: short-term goal, mid-term goal, long-term goal. Although it won’t happen exactly as you imagine it, because you are able to have seen yourself surviving and/or thriving, your body and mind and spirit know how to do that.

    I’m thrilled to say that the digital version of the steps of Imagine Healing for preparing for surgery is available on Kindle for $2.99 (https://www.amazon.com/Imagine-Healing-Guided-Imagery-Help-ebook/dp/B013EYIK3W).

    I’m even more thrilled to say this process is not limited to surgery or even to medical or physical challenges. That is what Parker Palmer’s quotation really inspires in us.

    Because the fields of life (relationships, finances, attitudes, culture) are so wet and woeful, although it almost makes you yearn for the return of ice, the conditions for rebirth are being created by the current circumstances. Our lives—our world—is ready for us to vision the improvement we long for in all areas of our lives.

    Spring always follows winter….

  • Cultural Peace

    Time is at once a limited commodity and an illusion. We an spend time, waste time, deny time, and transcend time.

    At a workshop with Zan Henigan Lombardo, the focus was on how she let chaos in her life create something beautiful. Her work of art is an impressive 30-foot watercolor painting with an equally impressive 30-foot poem along the bottom, created by an even more impressive artist/poet/teacher over many years.

    As is the case in most group settings right now, the most recent school shooting came up. People from all walks of life are asking why, and some are asking what can be done. This morning I read again Glen Snyder’s article (Lion’s Roar is from the Buddhist perspective) which invites some possible answers to the question how. The article is titled Why We Go for the Gun. Greg Snyder is a Zen Buddhist priest and President of Brooklyn Zen Center. You may want to take time to read his article for yourself. Here is a brief excerpt:

    This is not to say we should not work for legislative change, organize to reduce homicides and suicides in our communities, stand up to systemic violence and law enforcement abuses, critically engage our own consumption of violence as entertainment, and actively address our nation’s child-soldier problem (that is, gangs). But these efforts alone will not change the soil in which this violence grows. We must illuminate this culture of domination, grieve our shared karma, and introduce the sacredness of spirit and all life back into our nation.

    Glen’s article touched a sensitive spot for me. As my husband is in the living room watching TV in the evenings, I am often in the other room working on a jigsaw puzzle. Hearing the soundtrack only of what he is watching, the movies he watches all sound the same. I hear two hours of gun shots, guttural grunting and desperate breathing, along with the repetitive use of the four-letter-nasty. I told him I don’t think they even make individual sound tracks….

    Reading Glen’s article, the thing that was most salient for me is how what I think, say, and do contributes to our collective experience. This morning I appreciated today’s thought from the Brahma Kumaris:

    The ability to enjoy one’s own company is one of the greatest gifts life has to offer. Learning to turn my thoughts away from all my responsibilities at the day’s end and take my mind into a state of peace and benevolence enables me to carry greater and greater loads without feeling the burden. When my inner landscape is full of beautiful thoughts, everything I do is a pleasure. Gently, I calm down chaotic situations and offer solace to troubled minds.

    Perhaps enjoying one’s own company and cultivating the sweet sound of silence is the how of inner and cultural peace….

  • Support

    This week has been rife with lessons. We experienced another school shooting, irrevocably changing lives while politics goes on as usual. The day before this shooting I was with people I consider to be of “like-mind” but even within this group, people are anything but like-minded about how we best bring forth peace.

    Dr. Leo Galland learned the answers to life’s questions from his son, Christopher, who lived to be 22 years old. Christopher was “a brain-damaged special needs child who challenged everyone he knew with his unpredictable behavior and uncanny insights.” The book of Christopher’s life is titled Already Here: A Doctor Discovers the Truth about Heaven. The following excerpt is what John Cubeta, an educational psychologist who had worked closely with Christopher, wrote about having lunch with Chris:

    One day, I was attempting to have a conversation with Chris after we had just bought a pair of cheeseburgers. I kept trying to get a dialogue going, but it would abruptly end whenever it was Chris’s turn to respond. I finally asked Chris why he didn’t answer me when I spoke to him. He continued to eat in silence. Nothing I said seemed to register. Eventually, he swallowed the last bite. Then he said, very plainly, “I didn’t want to speak while I was eating,” obviously annoyed that something so simple and obvious should require an explanation.

    It seems my life lessons also most often come in the mundane. Friday morning I started getting an error message when I tried to send email from my iPhone using my propitiatory address. The message would get stuck in the Outbox where it sat whirring for hours. Until the message was marked with a red exclamation mark that it did not get sent, the message could not be deleted. During this time I could also not use my gmail account on the phone. One message took 8 hours to clear.

    Verizon said it was an issue with the email host, Bluehost. Bluehost said Apple made some changes that had severely affected their servers but Bluehost was working on it. When things were not resolved the next day, I called Bluehost again but was this time I was told they could not help, I needed to call Apple Support. This evening I spent about an hour on hold, then about another hour with Apple Support, who finally told me I needed to call Bluehost. Apple Support stayed on the line with me while I called Bluehost one more time. I am exceedingly glad to report the email is working now.

    After the tragic news of this week’s school shooting, I wrote the following poem:

    Guns, Guts, and Grace or A Day for Lovers

    Seventeen gone home on Valentine’s Day
    Right and left make their points today
    All I do is kneel and pray

    It takes guts to be still
    To say it is ideas not guns that kill
    As hatred grows inside human will

    The blood is real it is bright red
    Alive is not the same as dead
    Lovers can lie together in bed

    We watch the news on TV
    Guns and guts is what we see
    Yet, grace is there inside of me

    Helen writes “I’m done with war!”
    Ain’t gonna study it no more
    Sick to death of it at my core

    But what if what we fear
    Is what is brought so very near
    Threatening all we hold so dear

    A day for lovers that’s for sure
    Calling forth hearts with love so pure
    Rather than minds all cocksure

    Debra Basham 2-15-2018 (WC 140)

    I’ve worn a Fitbit Charge 2 for over a year now. Although it is not REAL TIME, it gives my heart rate, and my resting rate. I have appreciated the feedback, and I have learned a lot about being present or not. My resting heart rate went down during the two days after John was taken to ER. (See In A Single Thought.) I have even noticed that chewing gum while walking helps keep my heart rate down. I am being more present as I chew.

    One thing I see clearly is how every moment along the frustrating process of getting support to fix the email problem, I knew I was dealing with the mundane. Years back I would have been pulling my hair out. The situation was frustrating, and having to make the calls and wait was inconvenient. But while how I dealt with it changed my life, it was not life changing….

  • Tip of a Wish

    The idea of a perfect parent, perfect partner, or perfect day makes some people nervous. They think of all the ways things don’t measure up. A headache, a heartache, or an unfulfilled longing seems to stand in the way of perfection.

    Imagine for a moment an eternity without sunshine, or rain for that matter. Perfection is organic, not static. This moment is perfect.

    Listening to a talk about what karma is and isn’t has me thinking about all of this. Karma is not punishment; it is cause and effect. Whatever we are experiencing at any given moment had its roots in the “past” and it is planting the “future.” This moment is perfect.

    Robina Courtin, quoting a Buddhist teacher says it this way, “Everything exists on the tip of a wish.”

    To fit with Valentine’s Day, I wrote a wellness tip about hugs:

    Hug for Health!
    by Debra Basham

    Debra’s Wellness Tips

    Well, it seems that love and companionship is good for your health. People in love and those with good relationships have lower blood pressure, less depression, and report feeling better over all.

    We like to hold hands, get hugs, and make whoopie. In most cases, love and wellness go hand-in-hand.

    This week, snuggle up. And it is not just people we love to touch. Petting our pets has health benefits, too.

    A dear friend commented, “I am single and have no pets. Does that mean I am destined for depression?” I wrote back telling her to take an I NEED A HUG sign to a busy place and give a blessing (what is called drishti in Hindi) to everyone who stops. I reminded her of Amma, the hugging saint.

    The wind is blowing today. I have an opinion it might be a more perfect day if it weren’t quite so windy.

    My abdomen is not quite as flat as I might think perfect.

    What I do with these thoughts, feelings, and beliefs really does make a difference now and long into the future.

    Rollo May said it this way, “If you do not express your own ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself.”

    What is on the tip of your wish today?

    I wish you a perfect day!

  • In a Single Thought

    It was mid morning on Thursday. I was on a FaceTime call with a client. The goal of the session revolved around not getting thrown out of balance during crisis times. The desire was to stay grounded even in trying circumstances.

    I like to do divination for guidance when I am working with someone to help me stay unattached. Thursday I used Angelic Messenger Cards: A Divination System for Spiritual Discovery, by Meredith L. Young Sowers. Two cards fell out. I made some notes from those two cards and from the Daily Word:

    Need for greater calmness and inner peace.
    Ask yourself, “Whom will this choice benefit?”
    Relinquish struggle and accept the truth of your angelically-inspired perspective.
    Move into the perspective of your divine nature.
    Claim your highest self and release the needy aspects of your life that mentally hold you prisoner.
    Believe more in yourself and your divine guidance
    In a single thought I can redirect my attention toward the peace of knowing I am protected.

    My phone rang. It was my brother-in-law. I could not figure out how to put the FaceTime call on hold to answer, so the call went to voice mail. “Call me immediately.”

    Moments later I was on my way to the hospital where my husband was being taken by ambulance. He had reported having a horrible stomach ache and then he lost consciousness.

    The day spent in the hallway of the emergency room (there was no room in the inn) was stressful. About dinner time he was admitted for observation. A few hours later I was driving home without him.

    The following day he was to be discharged as soon as he had an echo cardiogram, but ER was so busy again they could not get to him. Mid afternoon we were still waiting. When asked how we were holding up, I gave an honest report. “We are listening to elevator music on the TV, we both have our nose in a book, and we have decided to consider it a voluntary library day.”

    About 5:00 they decided to send him home and schedule the echo as a out-patient followup.

    Simply put, we could not control the circumstances. We could choose the thoughts and feelings and experience we were having.

    We had not wasted our day. We took the late discharge as an opportunity to stop for Thai food on the way home.

    I was taught to pay attention in client sessions and consider the message is for me first. That was obviously true last Thursday….