Tag: love

  • The Same Blue Supermoon Shines in Every Back Yard

    The moon again provides a backdrop for the Yellow Brick Road (see my previous post, Waning Gibbous Moon).

    A friend lives in Colorado where the skies are almost always clear. Each month he takes a photo of the full moon and sends it to me. (If you are not able to see the photo below, please click on the title of this post to read it on the website.)

    That ritual of friendship is housed in a story about a family who left the United Methodist church (which had an aging congregation with no Sunday school program for their young children) and joined the Congregational church where all the young families attended. A bit concerned about any theological differences that might be spiritually dangerous to their souls, they asked their Methodist minister what he thought. His reply was, “The same moon shines in every back yard.”

    Whether full, waning gibbous, blue, super, or dark — we sleep under the same moon.

    A lot is happening to cause this particular blue supermoon to occur. The red wavelengths do not reach the earth, so the blue ones make the moon appear blue. It is the second full moon in the month of August, a supermoon, and this year’s closest to the earth (100 miles closer than the August the August 1, 2023 supermoon).

    And this particular moon is visible everywhere on the planet….

    One post I read mentioned that it also falls on the Hindu festival of Raksha Bandhan, which celebrates the bonds between brothers and sisters.

    Another mentioned this as a time of heightened emotion and intuition. It’s rarity suggests an opportunity to connect with our innermost dreams and visions.

    Katherine May writes, “It’s as if the universe is inviting us to lean in, embrace our aspirations, and make heartfelt decisions about our relationships. Our sense of enchantment is not triggered only by grand things; the sublime is not hiding in distant landscapes. The awe-inspiring, the numinous, is all around us, all the time. It is transformed by our deliberate attention.”

    And under this moon magical things are in the making in my family. I have shared the success my nephew has had getting his life together following years of incarceration. I published an “Insights” clergy article about how difficult it is when someone gets out of prison with no car, no job, no home, no money. He did not even have a drivers’ license, and his profession is driving truck!

    It has not all been song and dance. But he was able to satisfy the conditions of and get off parole. Nothing short of a miracle, but he has made it. He says he could not have done it without some of his family.

    Just last week he was really down. He was without a job again, and therefore without a vehicle, money, or home. I reminded him how much better off he is now than then, and how Abraham Hicks says if your life is not working for you there is only one non-cooperative part: YOU.

    One website broke the influence of the blue supermoon down by Zodiac signs. The specific meaning for those whose birthday falls between November 22 and December 21, Sagittarians: brace for a home and family shift. Delve into emotional ties within your kinship. It’s ideal for a home refresh – renovate, cleanse, and invigorate your space. My nephew’s birthday is December 3….

    And this week, under this August 2023 blue supermoon, healing is happening. His sister and her husband are helping him renovate a camper trailer so he and his dog will have a stable base rather than ending up homeless every time he would change jobs. They are feeding him and providing him with a vehicle. He will be starting a new job, with a company he worked for previously (when he was not as stable as he is now). They see value in him and are giving his a job again.

    Soooooo much to be grateful for.

    In the Christian New Testament, Matthew 12:48-50, Jesus replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

    May all brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers and neighbors and friends even enemies do the will of the Father (and Mother) in heaven and love one another. It is happening in this blue supermoon.

  • LOVE Came Down at Christmas

    I am grateful John and I had a practice run at not being physically with Stacey and her family for Christmas in 2019.

    Last year we attended a Christmas Day potluck at Pine Island Cove with Michigan friends, Linda and Fred, who also winter here in Florida.

    This year, John and I share our day with all of you in our hearts.


    Our hearts are uplifted by the truth: “We isolate this year so that when we can meet again next year no one will be missing.”

    Today, our home-away-from-home may be empty of friends and family, but my heart is full of love for each of you!

    Our hearts are filled with memories!

    Our hearts are warmed by Christmases past.

    Our hearts are nourished with the true meaning of Christmas:

      That Mary and Joseph—Mary heavy with child—traveled through the countryside.

      She was at the time of giving birth to the child.

      They found shelter, simple shelter.

      And many beings experiencing, “The light has been born! Ah… The light is back!”

      It wasn’t me, it was more that my birth opened the doorway so that the Heavenly light—the Love, the remembrance of Love—could pour through.

      What was that star? Let us metaphorically call it an opening in the dark heavens where the remembrance of light and Love could pour through—pour through to where I lay as an infant, not to highlight me but to remind humans nothing is hopeless.

      Light IS.

      Love IS.

      And it is right here.

      And it was pointing at me, but it could be pointing at any of you.

      Here is the ground of love and light.

      And the earth sang, “Halleluiah!” not for my birth but for the remembrance: LIGHT IS, LOVE IS.*

    * Jeshua, channeled by Barbara Brodsky on Christmas Eve 2020, sharing some thoughts about what Christmas means to him and how we can carry the meaning of Christmas through to our times.

  • Warp and Weft

    This post begins with a reprint of a Sacred Story published December 23, 2017: “Husband’s Clothes:”

    As she stood in line at the grocery store the man in front of her looked so much like her late husband it almost took her breath away. The same height, the same built, even a similar style of movement.

    Without thinking she spoke, “My husband passed recently and you are of such a similar build I am wondering if you are open to receiving his clothing. Some people are funny about that. I have been wondering what to do with them. He even has jeans he’s never worn…”

    “Well, that is very kind,” he smiled softly.

    They also discovered he wore the same size shoes as her husband, so those went with him, too. As he was leaving with his treasures he thanked her and confessed, “I have a new job that I have to wear ‘good’ jeans for. I only had this one pair, and I have been washing them every night and wearing them again the next day.”

    She suddenly realized she had obviously truly been guided.

    Warp and weft refer to the orientation of woven fabric. The warp direction refers to the threads that run the length of the fabric. Warp yarns are finer and stronger than weft yarns.

    Life is comprised of warp and weft. But the greatest of these is warp….

    Larry, the now beloved husband of my dear friend, Linda, had lost his wife, Joyce. Soon after we met, Larry wondered aloud to Linda, asking if she thought I would be offended to be offered some of Joyce’s clothing. Many of the items still had tags hanging on them…

    Assured by Linda that I would be honored, the clothes were lovingly given and received. As my fingers glide across the keyboard right now, I am wearing one of Joyce’s dresses.

    One of my friends is in the process of “death cleaning.” In Swedish it is called döstädning—dö is “death” and städning is “cleaning.” The process is simply to get rid of unnecessary things, especially important as you age. You know you will eventually leave the planet, taking nothing tangible with you — we all will.

    While we take nothing, we leave everything.

    After their passing, the influence of our loved ones remains.

    Thich Nhat Hanh shared a beautiful story:

      A friend of mine has been taking care of her ninety-three-year-old mother. The doctors say that her mother will die any day. For more than a year, my friend has been teaching her mother meditation exercises that have been very helpful. She began by watering the seeds of happiness in her mother, and now her mother becomes very alive every time my friend comes around. Recently she told her mother, “This body is not exactly yours. Your body is much larger. You have nine children, dozens of grandchildren, and also great-grandchildren. We are all continuations of you, and we are very happy and healthy. You are quite alive in us.”

      Her mother was able to see that, and she smiled. My friend continued, “When you were young, you were able to teach many people how to cook and do many other things. You made people happy. Now we are doing the same thing; we are continuing the work you have begun. When you were young, you wrote poetry and sang, and now many of us write poems and sing beautifully. You are continuing in us. You are many beings at the same time.” This is a meditation on nonself. It helps her mother see that her body is just a small part of her true self. She understands that when her body departs, she will continue in many other forms.

    During the December 16, 2020, “Evening with Aaron,” I heard an amazing story about Nathaniel, a follower of Jesus. Nathaniel’s group had been brutalized, all of their ceremonial objects stolen, along with their food!

    When Jesus learned of this, he took Nathaniel with him and went to confront those responsible. Nathaniel was frightened they would be beaten again. Jesus admitted they might, they were outnumbered, but Jesus insisted that they must be willing to say, “No!”

    Confronted by the Divine Love in Jesus, the men stepped back.

    Imagine Jesus speaking about this:

      I would not have hurt them — how could I hurt them?

      But they had to hear this truth. “Where is that within you which is capable of love, which is capable of non-harm? Remember from whence you have come and cease to destroy. I ask this in the name of our Father and with love. Cease to do harm to each other and yourselves.”

      I motioned to Nathaniel to pick up the blanket and the candlesticks.

      He was a bit afraid, but I nodded to him, “Take them. They belong to our Father, not to this band.”

      “Keep the food,” I told the men. “If you are hungry, please eat. But these tokens of the Sabbath I bring back with me, lest you desecrate them.”

      No one stepped forth to stop us.

      I’m sure if Nathaniel were here in the body he would tell you he was trembling! And yet, his love, his deep commitment to service of all beings —

      Here I am, Lord.
      Is it I, Lord?
      I have heard you calling in the night.
      I will go, Lord, if you lead me.
      I will hold your people in my heart.

      The same commitment you all have.

      We took these candlesticks, rewrapped in the blanket, and simply walked off into the dark. We walked back to the village. These men never came to brutalize that village again.

      People can learn.

    The warp direction of our fabric is the Divine Love that runs the length of human existence. The warp of this Divine Love is finer and stronger than greed, hatred, brutality or any of the faces of fear. Just as the band of men who had stolen from Nathaniel were disarmed, every face of fear vanishes with the warp of love.

    Warp and weft. People can learn….

  • All Roads Lead to Somewhere

    The headline: The first debate between President Donald Trump and Democratic challenger Joe Biden deteriorated into a bitter showdown …

    It would be so easy for me to pass judgment about how unskillful bitter exchanges are were it not for the fact that I had just let myself get triggered by a friend I care for very deeply.

    We knew we had only a few minutes to talk before I was to be online for meditation, so in those few minutes she got to the heart of the matter for her: “I feel betrayed.” This was not the first time I had heard her express these same words about her boss over the years. But on this day I had an expectation for something else.

    When I argue with reality, I lose —
    but only 100 percent of the time.
    ~ Byron Katie

    All suffering is essentially wanting something other than what is.

    The following morning I was still watching the subtle contractions with my friend when I said, “All roads lead to Rome,” and she responded, “I don’t know about that, but all roads lead somewhere.”

    The saying that all roads lead to Rome was reality in the days of the Roman Empire. All the empire’s roads radiated out from the capital city, Rome. Commonly, the saying now often means all the methods of doing something will achieve the same result in the end.

    Whether Trump or Biden wins the Presidential election, “Election Day” will take place on the last day of Mercury’s last period of retrograde motion in 2020! (This one lasts from October 14 to November 3.)

    According to the age-old practice of astrology, we are all influenced by the effect of Mercury in retrograde. This from The Old Farmer’s Almanac: Mercury Retrograde Dates in 2020:

    Review projects and plans at these times, but wait until Mercury is direct again to make any final decisions. You can’t stop your life, but plan ahead, have back-up plans, and be prepared for angrier people and miscommunication.

    Some people blame Mercury retrograde for “bad” things that happen in their lives. Instead, this is a good time to sit back and review where you put your energy in your life.

    The Deep Spring Center Thought for Today addresses this, too:

      Please do go out and work for the candidate of your choice and also listen carefully to the other candidate and try to understand any basis of fear or confusion from which the statements seem to be coming. Do so in order not to condemn from a place of opposition but truly try to understand, because you will then have compassion for this opposition view rather than just condemnation for it. From the strength of that compassion you are much better able to say no than from the place of condemnation and oppositionality.
      ~ Aaron

    I drew a couple of Osho cards, inviting balance. Key words from the first: “It is a time when you are ready to let go of any expectations you have had about yourself or other people, and to take responsibility for any illusions you might have been carrying.”

    Key words from the second: “He has no private goals, no desire that everything should be other than the way it is.”


    Oh, my.

    I guess all roads do lead somewhere…

  • Poetry – Brandon Leake’s Got Talent!

    Anyone who lives art knows that psychoanalysis has
    no monopoly on the power to heal.

    Art and poetry have always been altering our ways
    of sensing and feeling
    — that is to say,
    altering the human body.

    ~Norman O. Brown

    Reality TV, like everything else in this human incarnation, has its ups and down, strengths and weaknesses, benefits and costs. This year’s America’s Got Talent cost me a lot of tears.

    As a poet myself, I am no stranger to the experience of having words make me cry. And this year’s AGT winner, poet Brandon Leake, touched the world with words like “Pookie” and “generational healing” and “no more time left for fear” and “you are so much stronger than you think” and “as soon as Covid hit, everything changed.”

    Here is a link to a significant 14 minutes and 11 seconds: ALL of Brandon Leake’s Performances on Season 15 of AGT! on Youtube.

    Brandon Leake said it best, “As soon as Covid hit, everything changed.”

    Last evening I shared a meal at a table with someone other than John for the first time since March 15, 2020. Interestingly, I knew before I got the call inviting us that I would be doing that. Even so, it was not an easy decision when I learned that four households would be gathered!

    I sent a text message to my friend:

      Honest answer: Are you expecting/asking guests to arrive in masks for pre-dinner conversation; remove masks for eating (6 feet or more distance); and to put masks back on for any after-dinner conversation?

    She responded:

      Absolutely. And they all follow these guidelines all the time, the best I can know.

    I wrote back:

      We will see you there.

    I cried when I read her next message:

      I love you and appreciate your process in getting to this decision. ❤️🙏😷

    You see, this was not just four households selected willy-nilly because we are going stir-crazy. These were two of our dearest friends hosting two other families who had been touched by recent loss. We share deep connections through church and loss and Covid.

    Seated to my right is a mother and her beautiful adult daughter, who is currently living with her mom. Their husband and father died late May of a post-Covid complication: stroke. They were unable to be with him as he was moved from facility to facility, until the very last hours of his life in this body. After he passed, they were unable to gather with friends and family to celebrate his life.

    Across from John and me were our hosts. Her mother passed just weeks ago… and they, too, have been unable to gather with friends and family for a formal Celebration of Life.

    The fourth household is a woman seated alone. She just lost her husband to Alzheimer’s disease, after having kept him at home as long as humanly possible, evidenced by the fact that he lived only a very short time once moved to a facility. Everyone at his visitation and funeral were required to wear masks and social distance.

    The serving table stretched about 12 feet with concrete landscaping blocks strategically placed to hold down autumn-colored table cloths. Placed around the perimeter are seven TV trays; each adorned with a brightly colored place setting. Cloth napkins compliment the loving atmosphere. I hear the words from the communion liturgy inside my head telling me this table has been prepared for you.

    The warm autumn wind was blowing as “Eau de Cologne” of garlic wafted from the house.

    After a feast fit for royalty, it was already dark as we slowly rose from the table. It was awkward to not help clear the table, go into the house to help load the dishwasher and wash the pots and pans. We were obviously all grateful for what we were able to share but also profoundly aware how very difficult it was to say goodbye without hugs. The desire rose up in my chest and left a lump in my throat.

    Today I see this message from another friend, along with the photo:

      Here’s my two flightless friends — Rowdy, who can’t fly but ran five miles at 4 a.m. and this monarch who hatched on Monday with imperfect wings. So he hangs out in my office on fresh flowers during the week and here at home on weekends. I feed him sugar water 1-2x day. Rowdy is getting used to sharing his home with a monarch companion.


    Just as Rowdy is getting used to sharing his home with a strange companion, we are getting used to sharing our lives with this pandemic….

  • Correction in Big Fires post

    OOPS…. A mistype of the most important kind.

    Several individuals expressed feeling depressed with all that is going on right now. I mentioned how the uncertainty shifts us into the SYMPATHETIC nervous system – fight, flight, or freeze.

    Some people are said to look for love in all the wrong places. Trying to find peace or trust or love or joy while the sympathetic nervous system is active is like setting a lobster trap in the Sahara dessert.

    The sympathetic nervous system simply can never find peace!

  • Big Fires

    I go to nature to be soothed and healed,
    and to have my senses put in order.

    ~ John Burroughs

    Several individuals expressed feeling depressed with all that is going on right now. I mentioned how the uncertainty shifts us into the sympathetic nervous system – fight, flight, or freeze.

    Some people are said to look for love in all the wrong places. Trying to find peace or trust or love or joy while the sympathetic nervous system is active is like setting a lobster trap in the Sahara dessert.

    The sympathetic nervous system simply can never find peace!

    Later that day, another group gathered and the same topic came up! The teacher, Barbara Brodsky, invited us to think about the experience itself.

    Can we acknowledge that mental and emotional and energetic experience called depression, without trying to get rid of depression? Who is the one that is watching this experience of depression? And what is the energy field and mind like for the one who is watching depression?

    When something is unpleasant, what happens in my mind?

    Being truly present you can see depression as an object arising out of conditions — impermanent, not “self.” Without trying to fix it, just really look at what it is. Here’s this strange object called depression. But what is it, and from what does it arise? Where will it go?

    ~ Barbara Brodsky

    The parasympathetic nervous system handles uncertainty very differently. Recognizing the only constant is change, and like a young child, you see everything as an adventure. Each step is an amazing part of the journey.

    Watching a panel discussion on Infinite Potential sponsored by the Fetzer Foundation, I was in awe of how much is known about science and spirituality. Everything science can prove, mysticism has always known.

    One of the closing comments, this one by Bob Roth, CEO of David Lynch Foundation, is worth holding onto with your head and your heart:

    Water puts out fire, if the fire is too large, you need more water. Its not the fault of the water, its how large the fire has grown.

    Yes, there is a lot going on right now, and yes, the sympathetic nervous system misses the truth, but each step is an amazing part of the journey of our Infinite Potential…..

  • New Frontiers

      Sometimes people get the mistaken notion
      that spirituality is a separate department of life,
      the penthouse of existence.

      But rightly understood,
      it is a vital awareness
      that pervades
      all realms of our being.

      ~Br. David Steindl-Rast

    Today, it is this beautiful planet we call home that calls us home to our hearts. We are being asked to plant seeds of wisdom and love. I told John today one could consider if you are hearing or reading something that is stating who or what was or is to blame about anything, to please just consider this: Anyone can win the game of Monday-Morning-Quarterbacking. It is the coaching before and during the game that makes the difference.

    I have been patient (mostly) with the world around me. While not first in THE world, I was first in my world to not allow smoking in my home. While not first in THE world, I was first in my world to save things believing they would some day be recycled.

    I have been asking John for years to consider a more environmentally friendly yard. It makes little sense to spend time, energy, and money to kill what flourishes naturally, then invest more to plant things that cost even more to be fed and watered to survive and contribute little to myriad species called nature.

    But we are where we are: we are where wild fires rage and tropical storms blow: too much or too little wind or rain. The following powerful excerpt is from the Seattle retreat in the fall of 2019 (reviewed and with some additions and edits on 09-14-20). It was just posted on the Deep Spring Meditation Center Facebook page, and it is so timely.

    Aaron: These fires in California deeply concern me, not just for the immediate damage they are doing, burning people’s homes and so forth — although it is sad that people are losing their homes, their livelihood, even and especially their lives — but for what it’s doing to the energetic and spiritual environment. To me, if people choose to live in an area where there will be a likelihood of such fires, they know that this can happen to them. But the trees did not thusly choose. Well, yes, the trees agreed to grow there, but they agreed to grow there not to be burned away but to help support a wholesome environment.

    They agreed to grow there with no foreknowledge of man’s thoughtlessness of the environment. It was a possibility but not yet a fact. The earth is ancient and the short-lived choices of mankind are more recent. And so, the Earth is getting a different message. Trees and other vegetable life are beginning to say, “Maybe it’s not safe to be here on the Earth. We are not cherished as we need to be in order to flourish. Maybe it’s time for us to shift ourselves to some other kind of evolutionary space where we may evolve with love.” Such a shift or even thought to shift is going to further downgrade the Earth’s environment. Just as man destroys the environment for certain animal species, he can destroy it for trees, and even for the elements themselves.

    Once these fires are under control and out, I’d like to see large teams of people going into the woods, into the charred roads, thanking the earth, thanking the trees, and planting seedlings. With a strong commitment, speaking to the seedlings; speaking to each from their heart, “Thank you for making a new attempt to grow here. We will try very hard to cherish you, to take care of you and the environment in which you grow.”

    It is not only our planet that is suffering. Our emotional bodies are going through these turbulent times as well. After the wildfires of anger and jealousy, fear and disdain, it is imperative we are willing to plant seedlings of forgiveness, wisdom, kindness and compassion.

    One morning after we finished (virtually) sitting together in meditation, I shared a deep and precious conversation with Bob. Bob mentioned “A Course of Love”, describing it as sort of like the sequel to A Course in Miracles. “There are several chapters you can read for free,” he said.

    ACIM was one of the bridges over troubled water when my spirituality out-grew the religion of Christianity in which I had met and committed my life to Jesus.

    From Chapter 14: New Frontiers Beyond the Body and Mind, Form and Time, A Course of Love – The Dialogues:

    What might this situation look like if I forgot everything I have previously known about similar situations, and looked at this in a new way?

    Do I really need to worry about this situation, or can I affect this situation simply by not worrying about it and allowing it to be and unfold as it will?

    While I realize that the facts would tell me this or that is true, I wonder what would happen if I disregarded the facts and was open to this being something else?

    There is so much to disregard. Our old habits, thoughts, beliefs and actions are being invited to surrender. In The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency Melody Beattie affirms: “We relinquish our tight hold and our need to control in our relationships. We take responsibility for ourselves; we allow others to do the same. We detach with the understanding that life is unfolding exactly as it needs to, for others and ourselves. The way life unfolds is good, even when it hurts. And ultimately, we can benefit from even the most difficult situations. We do this with the understanding that a Power greater than ourselves is in charge, and all is well.”

    I whisper to all sentient beings that we will do our best. We are able to cherish life and summon that vital awareness that pervades all realms of our being into new frontiers….

  • Bless the Sea Snakes

    Joel has been having ongoing challenges with his gmail account. I reached out to Rebecca, our wonderful webmaster, and she is on it. When he wrote saying, “I think I must have been cursed by the gods of the internet. What did I ever do to them….” I wrote back:

    “Well, bless the sea snakes!!!! Rebecca is going to see if Geek Squad can help her help you!”

    The following morning, Joel responded:

    I don’t remember how the sea snakes got in this. They play a prominent role in Coleridge’s “Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner.” Everyone on the ship has died except for the “hero,” and the ship is floundering and adrift. The only person left alive on board is about to die. He has to bite his tongue to have enough moisture in his mouth to speak, but with what he thinks will be his last words, he blesses the sea snakes surrounding the vessel. With the blessing, the wind comes up, and the ship makes it back to England.

    Recently I was listening to a dharma talk by Kyoun Sokuzan. Sokuzan met Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, a preeminent teacher of Tibetan Buddhism, in late 1973 and became a student. In 1974, Sokuzan attended the first session of Naropa Institute in Boulder, Colorado. In 1975, he established the Dharma Study Group of Battle Creek, Michigan. The group is currently meeting via Zoom. When someone asked Sokuzan if we need protection from the coronavirus, Sokuzan answered, “You don’t need protection, but you ask for protection. You participate in the realm you are in.”

    Continuing, “Everything is temporary. Work with it however it shows up in your neighborhood.”

    This all comes as I see my mind grasping for a safe way to be with friends and family. I hear Sokuzan say, “Go into the darkness. That is where the light is.”

    Human experience is polarized. I was one of those odd ducks who was anti-abortion and pro-legalization of abortion. A woman desperate not to birth a baby will take dangerous measures to end that pregnancy. Coat hangers are just one… Truth. Some people argue that making abortion legal motivates more women to choose that option. This is just not truth. The same argument is happening around the legalization of marijuana. Truth?

    Sokuzan: “It’s all relative truth. You can’t see the truth.”

    A friend stopped by briefly yesterday, willing to do me a huge favor. I had placed the two chairs on our front porch at the furthest distance. I donned my cute little kitty mask (a gift from my sister, Janis) and went out onto the porch. As my friend got out of her car, she saw me in my mask. “Do you want me to put a mask on?” she asked. She had one in the car. I said I would appreciate her putting on a mask.

    My friend was obviously not comfortable in the mask she was wearing. Every few seconds she would need to adjust it. The mask just did not fit her face well. As I watched, I had the thought it was more like a thong than a bikini. I hate when my underpants ride up in the crack of my butt. I have never understood someone wearing a thong. Maybe it is like Erma Bombeck’s having said she does not eat chocolate cake — she just smears it on her hips and thighs because that is where it is going to end up!

    Early in the pandemic, I began making masks that are fun. Many of those iterations have been shared in previous posts. Why? Because, as Sokuzan says, “It’s all relative truth.”

    If my friend or I had been an asymptomatic spreader of the virus, would our actions have been enough to protect the other? Sokuzan said we don’t need protection but we do need to work with things however they are showing up.

    Sokuzan used a Buddhist teaching term I had not previously run into, unless I had heard it and did not yet fully embody the dharma these words are pointing to. Trycycle has an excellent article on the teaching if you are interested. Here is the link: “Drive all blames into one.” From the article:

    “Conveniently, blaming others allows us to avoid looking into our own role in the problems and conflicts we encounter. We look outward, but we do not look within. And even in looking outward, once we have assigned the blame, we go no further. So we do not get to the root of the problem. We stop short, satisfied that we are off the hook and someone else is at fault.”

    I think a lot about my family. I take drive all blames into one to heart. If we went for a visit (as we soooooo want to do) and one of them was an asymptomatic spreader, and John or I got ill and/or died, who would be to blame?

    “This slogan {drive all blames into one} is quite radical. Instead of blaming others, you blame yourself. Even if it is not your fault, you take the blame. It is important to distinguish this practice from neurotic self-blaming or the regretful fixation on your own mistakes and how much you are at fault. It also does not imply that you should not point out wrongdoing or blow the whistle on corruption. Instead, as you go about your life, you simply notice the urge to blame others and you reverse it.”

    If my action exposed me to the virus, not even the virus is to blame. But if my action exposed someone else to the virus, I am responsible. It is simply how things showed up in the neighborhood. Drive all blames into one….

    “Pay attention to how blaming arises and what patterns it takes. See what happens when you take on the blame yourself. Notice what changes in your own experience and in what you observe around you.”

    A friend rented a hotel room near her daughter’s cottage as the extended family gathered for the Labor Day weekend. My friend took her own provisions, and she was masked and maintained safe-distance as she joined them for the wonderful celebration of her grandson’s 25th birthday.

    Other friends are leaving this weekend to visit their son and family out of state. They, too, will stay in a hotel and enjoy time with the family out-of-doors.

    Soon, in the Northern hemisphere, it will be winter. “What then?” you might ask.

    Bless the sea snakes….

    Everything is temporary.

  • Ambiguous Gain

    My sister and I are having a wonderful experience with the Magic Eye calendar for 2020.



    We meet via a video call on the first day of each month and we turn the page together. We love the sharing: looking; not seeing; relaxing; looking again; seeing. That is how the process works!

    September was a very challenging image to see. We both had to make at least a half-dozen attempts.

    Relaxing is key.

    Our collective exhilaration when we finally see is palpable.

    My writing time with Southern Circle Poets began with someone’s post about “Ambiguous Loss” that I had re-posted on Facebook:

    Someone once said when you love someone with dementia you lose them more and more everyday: when they are diagnosed, when they go through different stages, when they go into care and when they die.

    This is called “Ambiguous Loss.”

    ‘Rapidly shrinking brain’ is how doctors described it.

    I wouldn’t wish Dementia on anyone. As the persons brain slowly dies, they change physically and eventually forget who their loved ones are. They can eventually become bedridden, unable to move and unable to eat or drink.

    There will be people who will scroll by this message because dementia has not touched them. They may not know what it’s like to have a loved one who has fought or is fighting a battle against Dementia.

    My friend, Claudia, knows this experience well, as does Katey, one of the Southern Circle Poets.

    I wrote:

      I cannot expect you to understand what it feels like to see someone struggle with tasks that once were as easy as breathing. To hear a loved-one say or ask the same comment or question over and over again.

      And to know the truth, “I cannot fix this.”

      Being present with my own inner struggles with wanting it to be fixed is the best I can do.

      I begin a poem:

      You Once Were

      You once were so skillful; and willful.
      You once were so strong.

      The writing doesn’t go anywhere from there, so I begin again…

      Ambiguous Loss

      I wonder when I first recognized you were losing precious skills we had both taken for granted. Like scales falling off the catch-of-the-day, your identity seems to be hell-bent on shedding strengths.

      Crossing the street as the afternoon sunlight was casting shadows, I saw autumn trees on the face of the glistening parking lot still damp from a brief shower. This the first time I had accepted it was me cautioning you to watch your step. Red, yellow, orange and gold…. green now sleeping soundly somewhere.

      I cannot see your world from here.

      Permission granted to enjoy the hint of fall as the breeze blows in from the window behind me, almost cool enough to cause a chill.

      Permission granted to witness the tightness moving mechanically across my chest as I wonder what your future will unfold to.

      Permission granted to be content with both the not knowing and the wanting to know and the soft, sensuous dance between seeming opposites.

      Memory drifts back to delivering my mom to the adult foster care home. Grief at leaving her there as she looks into my face calling me Debbie, and pleads, “Don’t leave me with these strangers….” and the guilt at being my relief to be leaving her there. The years of her decline, the day of her passing—edges blur as they burn a hole in my emotional body, a single heart breaking open enough to hold the whole human happening.

      Profound gratitude now for the dear ones who have walked this path previously, providing a trail of recognition along this treacherous terrain. Remembering Hansel and Gretel and their crumbs of bread being consumed by the birds….

      I make the choice to trust I am still moving toward the center of our being.

    This morning I had a near-identical conversation with two people I love. One was about the news that a job would be ending. The other was about having been at an eye doctor’s office with frighteningly lax procedures for prevention of the spread of Covid-19. Although the content of these two experiences looks dissimilar, the words that came crossed the chasm of delusion: Every experience will be pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. We learn from it all.

    I said, “When you have already already felt the pain of the experience, be sure you reap the benefits.”

    Having worked at jobs which demanded so much that life balance was sacrificed isn’t failure. Noticing is gaining insight.

    When a child is burned by touching a hot stove, the child learns from the pain how to be safer.


    Now, this is “Ambiguous Gain…”