Tag: life and death

  • Human Feet

    My mind is so busy. I pull myself away from the Tapping Summit to join my Friday morning writing group, and the group seems so focused on the mundane I want to leave. I want to be inside where it is safe.

    Finally, Mary reads an incredible poem: “For Calling the Spirit Back from Wandering the Earth in its Human Feet” by Joy Harjo

    I hope you will read this poem. You will relate. We all have human feet.

    I begin to write:

    Loss and Gain

    Searching for safety and security we wander aimlessly through the lostness of our own minds, opening door-after-door only to look into a mirror. Caught in the haze of a maze, thinking the same thoughts year after year without so much as questioning where they are leading us.

    A few tell-tale feathers lay on the ground outside the window

    A ghost-like image where they wiped the dust upon impact

    Beak, wing, and silence now where the THUD had been

    Heart breaking loneliness hits my mind the same way the bird hit the window: suddenly and without malice of forethought. An old friend, this feeling of not being wanted, loved, or safe. I open another door. Perhaps this time something else will be there.

    Eyes grow dull

    Search for a stress-free environment begins

    Danger results from well-meaning help

    Snakes shed their skin to allow for further growth. The process is natural and happens throughout their lives, but it is not an easy process. Being human is not an easy process either, and I, too, search for a stress-free environment in which to shed.

    Nigger

    Negro

    African America

    Black

    Words reveal our progress

    Slogans from mindfulness t-shirts I have seen come to mind: Meditation is not what you think, You Have the Right to Remain Silent, Don’t Believe Everything You Think.

    Perhaps hopeful, trusting, and calm will be the result of my new skin.

    P.S. The Deep Spring Dharma Path Study Group with Barbara Brodsky is finishing our two-year commitment. We are finding the light within Sacred Darkness. Whatever the conditions in your life right now, you in your human feet are never alone.

  • Closer to Fine

    Sacred Stories

    She posted a long entry on Facebook, “My sweet dad passed away two days ago.”

    Her dad had been diagnosed with cancer about 8 months earlier. He was SO strong and resilient and yet so gentle and kind in spite of the pain he was experiencing. He wanted to survive and live, but cancer is so brutal and finally there was nothing more they could do.

    “I am eternally grateful that I was able to see him several times a day for the last few months, but I hoped for 20 more years…” she wrote.

    Some of his last words were to her step-mom, “Everything is fine. Everything is going to be OK.” Soon after he said this, he went into a deep state of transition.

    Shortly, as she was leaving the hospital briefly to check on her kids, she was thinking about how she felt she’d received some messages from her little brother after he died a few years ago. She wondered if her dad would reach out to let them know he was OK. She wondered if her brother would meet her dad to help him on the path. And she wondered if she would notice if there was a message from her brother or her dad. Or maybe something meaningful from both of them to let her know they were both “fine.”

    So she let these thoughts go and did what she needed to do at home.

    She got in her truck to drive back to be with her dad. The radio was on and NPR’s “A Prairie Home Companion” was wrapping up with a live song.

    Tears flowed. She immediately began to record a video driving along the road to share with her other brother later.

    She hadn’t heard this song in years. Her dad had taught this song to her and her two brothers as they were learning to play guitar in the 90’s when they were young, early college-aged kids!

    The Indigo Girls song was a family favorite—a feel-good song at the time.

    She was blown away feeling so grateful for this message. The title of the song is “Closer to Fine”….

    To top it off, as she pulled to the stop sign at the top of the hill, and pointed the video toward her dad’s old wood shop he built years ago (now for sale) the chorus rang out:

    There’s more than one answer to these questions
    Pointing me in a crooked line
    And the less I seek my source for some definitive
    The closer I am to fine
    The closer I am to fine
    The closer I am to fine, yeah

    This moment was a much needed respite from the grief she was feeling.

    She shared the video and this image, and says, “I think this was my brother’s saying all is fine with him, but maybe my dad’s saying that too, since he was beginning to make his way home about this time.”




    She concluded her post, “I don’t know what happens exactly when we leave this plane and move to the next, but I feel like my dad deserves the best of it…. ‘and all the trees of the fields will clap their hands.’”

  • Come on, let’s go….

    Sacred Stories

    She passed away of natural causes while vacationing in Argentina.

    The night before she passed, she dreamed that she was walking on the beach when she felt someone touch her hand. She turned around and it was her late husband.

    He said, “Come on, let’s go.”

    She shared having had the dream.

    The following day, at age 61, she died on the third anniversary of her late husband’s death.

    Her obituary included this powerful line, “Her last trip aboard was the beginning of a new and everlasting one.”

    “Sacred” stories are being shared openly. Reflect on what this all means for you. What is real? Who are you?

  • How Do You Go On?

    The phrase “Winter of Discontent” is from the opening line of William Shakespeare’s Richard III.

    While the weather in Michigan has been mild, by winter’s standards, that very mild weather is the impetus of discontent for some who live along the shores of Lake Michigan. The absence of an ice shelf, coupled with high water levels, has brought worry to some, and loss due to erosion to others. Special WSBT.com report: Dreams Swept Away.

    In an email exchange about all of this with a friend, I wrote, “People lose money in investments or business ventures, and homes to fire or flood. To lose a home and the land and have insurance not cover the loss seems so much more difficult.”

    I often recall the comment Barbara Brodsky made when I was grieving the removal of the tree on our property. I told Barbara how unskillful I felt, not being able to feel the everlasting peace as well as the sadness. She said kindly, “Who dies? What dies? Does the tree still live in your heart?” (See: Does the Tree Still Live in Your Heart?)

    I cannot imagine the sense of loss the Smothers family is going through. It is my hope they have something to sustain their hearts. People often say they can go on because they have their loved ones.

    How do you go on when it is your loved one you are grieving? “What dies? Who dies? Does your loved one still live in your heart?”

    People often say they can go on because they have their health.

    How do you go on when health is lost?

    Today the corpse prayer by Jarem Sawatsky keeps cycling in my thoughts. (See: Corpse Prayer)

    Corpse Prayer

    Be not afraid.
    I give thanks to god who created all things good.
    In christ, all things hold together.
    I am not entitled to life without death.
    I embrace sacred life.
    I embrace sacred death.
    I embrace the growing and crumbling in between.
    Smile at yourself in the silence…
    ~ Jarem Sawatsky

    Everything about these words soothes my heart. Nothing about it soothes my mind. Perhaps minds are built for worry and hearts are built for love.

    I hope you will appreciate a recent poem about all of this:

    Out of our Heads!

    Addicted to worry we’ve been
    a feeling through which we can’t win
    It’s not like the bliss
    from a passionate kiss
    It’s unlike the joy that flows
    right under the tip of your nose

    The chains of the free
    this habitual worry
    A robber of peace
    and theft of our ease
    Its time we move past
    give up worry at last

    Come sit under a tree
    remember we truly are free
    We’ll hear a bird sing
    and enjoy every thing
    The sun and the rain
    the wind and the calm
    Fretting won’t help
    fear’s false alarm

    Purveyors of doom
    leave us no room
    For the gifts of the day
    life’s sending our way

    Let’s make up our minds
    give worry a shove
    Out of our heads
    do this instead—
    live only from love!

    Debra Basham 02-11-2020 (WC 133)

    May all beings come to the end of suffering. We may never come to the end of loss, but perhaps we can live only from love.

  • 3:01 am

    Sacred Stories

    Sacred stories invite us to see that nothing is an accident. We are all always, in all ways, connected.

    She knew her friend was in labor when she went to bed.

    She put on her glasses and went to check for news when she woke. It was still dark. No news….

    At 3:12 am she wrote simply: “Still holding energy,” and went back to bed.

    Awake again a couple of hours later, there was still no announcement.

    At 5:43 am she wrote, “Welcome an update when it is easy…. been checking in overnight.”

    A photo of proud father, happy mother, and beautiful baby girl quickly popped in:

    “Born at 3:01 am.”

    We welcome this precious soul who arrived at the perfect time.

  • Labor of Love

    Sacred Stories

    At 8:30 am she posted the following on the Facebook page of a friend:

    I know you will understand you are watching yourself. Last night I ate potato chips and dip before bedtime. Then my tummy was too full to be comfortable. As I was tossing and turning, lifting my hippo weight, not finding any position that did not accentuate my discomfort except for flat on my back, suddenly my mind was full of thought about my friend who is expecting their daughter this month. My too-full tummy was no longer mine. And my heart was simultaneously filled with joy and anticipation. This was not a denial of the unpleasant sensation, but I was also not missing the magic.

    A couple of hours later, at 11:04 am, she received this via Messenger:

    Good morning everyone! Contractions started last night! Getting close now—we will likely head to birth center soon! The mother-to-be is a champ! 👶🏻🎉🎉🎉

    We are not living isolated lives. Even our sensations are a part of the ONE….

  • Wild Places Need LOVE

    The lessons of the mold continue….

    We did not know where, but the air quality test taken in our home indicated more mold was present. This week we know where the mold was hiding. The condensate line from our HVAC was dumping water into the belly of our mobile home, saturating the insulation, creating a perfect growing condition.

    Here are photos of what used to be our laundry room floor and the wall behind the utility cupboard:

    I have felt a lot of resistance to this news. I have felt that resistance as a knot in my stomach, tightness in my chest, and a lump in my throat.

    Others are going through challenges related to diagnosis, prognosis, pain, and fear of death. Our planet itself is going through challenges.

    On a guided walk this morning we heard a naturalist speak of the threads of connection between everything. He spoke of the water and the fire and the species overlapping: WE are interdependent.

    From the Conservation Foundation website:

    Wild Places Need You

    Why?

    Because they are fast disappearing. And with them goes safe habitat for wildlife, rural ranchlands, the protection of clean water, and beautiful places to hike, swim, and fish. With support from people like you, Conservation Foundation of the Gulf Coast has permanently protected more than 12,000 acres of critical lands. But time is running out.

    You are the last generation that can save this land. Together, we will ensure that the human and natural worlds of Southwest Florida flourish together.

    Whether it is mold remediation, a diagnosis and healing sought, or environmental balance we are speaking about, the answer is universal: LOVE.

    Reports of Aborigines healing broken bones, muscle tears, and illnesses of every kind using their didgereedoo point us in a direction. Harmony and healing is possible.

    Transcript from “LOVE” channeled by Barbara Brodsky, my meditation teacher:

    Q: Are you suggesting that many of us here are able or will be able in this life to invite broken bones, divided cells to merge…

    Love: You all are perfectly capable of that.

    Q: In this life now?

    Love: Of course! Now! Your limiting beliefs stop you from doing it.

    We know the truth of this. At the center of our being truth resonates.

    Q: So, in my daily life, how can I practice this?

    Love: Choose a space, a place that you pass by often in the day, like a doorway or a specific tree, and hold the intention every time you pass that space to pause, take a deep breath, and say, “I am love, and I welcome love. I choose to invite love.” It may only take a few seconds. “I am love. I am open to love. Thank you.” Allow yourself to feel it and then walk on. But if you do this 20 times a day, eventually it’s going to take root. Okay?

  • Aquaphobia

    I have spent my life so afraid of drowning I would not even let shower water flow over my face. Recently I came across the “official” diagnosis: Aquaphobia.

    Many people have an extreme fear of water. They conjure up images of dying in water, drowning, gasping for breath, or encountering eerie, unseen things such as snakes or sharks in the water. Often, those suffering from Aquaphobia are non swimmers. Some phobics not only fear large water bodies, lakes, ponds or rivers, many even fear running water or water being poured onto their heads.

    Definitely a non swimmer. Although years ago I took an adult non-swim class at the YWCA and graduated by being able to jump into the deep end and swim the length of the pool. I was so proud… I signed up for an intermediate-swim class, but the fear got reinstalled in that class. Fears can do that.

    Other than the fear of falling and loud noises—these are a result of moving from fluid (in the womb) to air—our fears are always learned.

    I learned fear of water from my mother who was afraid of EVERYTHING, and I had a near-drowning as a youngster. I also have cellular (body) memory of having died on a ducking stool—this Puritan punishment proved fatal from time to time, but prevailed in England and America from the early seventeenth century through the early nineteenth century. A woman who was accused of being a witch (or other crime) was plunged into a pond or river tied onto a wooden armchair, attached to a seesaw-like structure, as many times as the magistrate deemed justified.

    Fear is never helpful.

    My dear friend, Linda, loves the water. When she was caught in a rip current while swimming in Florida, those watching her from shore were afraid for her, but she just went with the ride, totally unafraid until they picked her up in boat.

    Fear is worth overcoming.

    This winter I have a goal of getting in the pool with Linda. She is willing. She even bought me a swimming suit!

    Fear activates the sympathetic nervous system. Often, a diagnosis or symptom, or an upcoming event is sufficient for that activation. This activation impedes healing that is natural.

    Many people are not even aware they have a vagus nerve, let alone fully appreciating its role in helping counteract the negative health impact of an overactive sympathetic nervous system (that hyper vigilant fight-or-flight response). Simply put, vagus nerve stimulation calms you down.

    The tenth cranial nerve (CN X), it is the longest cranial nerve of the central nervous system. Passing through the neck and thorax to the abdomen, it works with the parasympathetic nervous system to control the heart, lungs, and digestive track. Containing motor and sensory fibers, the vagus nerve is the most important element of the parasympathetic nervous system. (Historically, it has been called the pneumogastric nerve.)

    Vagus nerve stimulation releases anti-stress hormones and enzymes, and is associated with benefits such as better memory, improved immune function, restful sleep, and increased levels of growth hormone. Lower levels of inflammation, fewer allergic responses, and relief from tension headaches may also be directly linked to vagus nerve stimulation.

    Noninvasive vagus nerve stimulation devices, which do not require surgical implantation, have been approved for use in Europe to treat epilepsy, depression, and pain but have not yet been approved for use in the U.S.

    Unless you’re a yoga master, you cannot directly and consciously stimulate your vagus nerve. But in addition to long-term practice of yoga and meditation, here are some simple tools you can use to indirectly stimulate your vagus nerve:

    1. Diaphragmatic breathing. Simply put, belly breathing. Place your hands lightly on your belly, signaling to your body, “Breathe all the way down here.” Breathe deeply, so that your abdomen rises on the inhalation, and falls on the exhalation. Ten minutes, twice per day, will allow your breath to systematically slow and deepen.

    2. Studies show that cold water facial immersion stimulates the vagus nerve. The area behind the eyeballs is a particularly accessible zone for stimulation. An easy way to do this is to use an icy gel mask. Again, ten minutes, twice daily seems to be a good formula for improved benefits. (See http://scs-matters.com/chilling-way-calm/)

    3. Another simple technique is to quiet yourself and imagine that you are sucking on a juicy lemon drop, bathing your tongue in saliva. If that does not work for you, fill your mouth with warm water and hold it, as you allow yourself to begin to relax.

    Plenty of good reasons for you to move beyond fear.

    Goodbye aquaphobia!

  • Everything is Connected

    Sacred Stories

    She had a three-hour layover between flights, but the loading time came and passed. Her flight had been delayed.

    Finally the airline’s representative told them they did not have a plane because it was sitting in another airport with a door that wouldn’t close.

    The airlines found them a substitute plane and later she learned that the plane with the malfunctioning door didn’t leave the airport until the next day.

    She had seen that very plane sitting at the gate. (See “Do a Happy Dance!”)

    She likes glimpses of the invisible (web-like) connectedness of everything….

  • Let’s Do a Happy Dance

    Sacred Stories

    Her plane was due to leave for San Francisco (SFO) at the same time another plane was due to leave for Los Angeles (LAX). The LAX flight loaded, but then it just sat at the gate. The plane’s door wouldn’t shut.

    Her flight was, by then, an hour behind schedule. The plane was at the gate, passengers just weren’t invited to load. Finally, they got the invitation, but that was quickly revoked. They were told there was an air traffic control three-hour delay at San Francisco.

    Having had a chance to get to know the seven people sitting around her, she said to her seat mates, “Our advance gratitude is more powerful than a corporate entity that doesn’t care. Let’s give thanks in advance and do a happy dance in our minds that we were able to board and fly out of here.” All agreed, and they sat and concentrated for a while.

    Ten minutes later they were informed the delay had been lifted and we were invited to board!

    As her plane took off she could see the fully loaded LAX plane still sitting with its malfunctioning door.

    Giving thanks for what you welcome can’t hurt, and it might just pave the way for a wonderful happening.