Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: John Orr

2021 – A True Spiritual Path

Deep Spring Center
Thought for Today
December 31, 2020

So often beings have a
limited view of spiritual life
that creates a duality in themselves,
so that they only see themselves
as ‘being spiritual’
when they’re being kind and loving.

When painful emotions arise,
then they think,
‘I am no longer being spiritual.
I should fix or get rid of these emotions
and come back to kindness and
then I will be spiritual.’

But this dualistic thinking only
enhances the fragmentation of the self and
enhances negativity and suffering.

To open the heart to the self,
just as it is in this moment,
is the true spiritual path.

~ Aaron

As we turn the page on our calendar to 2021 at midnight tonight where ever you are, hindsight will be 2020. New Years has held a nostalgic space in my heart and mind for as long as I can remember, but just as 2021 offers unlimited possibilities, tomorrow is also just another day.

What will you remember most from the past year? High on my list is the consistent kindness and generosity of our friends, Linda and Larry, consistently doing our grocery shopping for us. First, using InstaCart, and then going to the grocery store, just so we could limit our exposure to the coronavirus.

I will remember the blessing of Zoom bringing the meditation hall into my home.

I will also feel the sting of not going to Tennessee to visit Stacey’s family on our way home in April. Or having to tell Melody I could not do an in-person ceremony for her mom, my friend and colleague, who contracted COVID-19 while in the hospital with acute pancreatitis. Bonnie passed without Melody or Dan, Bonnie’s husband, having opportunity to be with her.

No service of celebration of life for Fred Gibby yet either. They say it will be an ultimate hug-fest when the time is right. and Fred loves that idea!

It is otherworldly to not have gotten to Kalamazoo to see Joel and the kitties; and very hollow that I did not unpack the office when contents were moved to the beautiful new space at Lakeshore Acupuncture.

Immense gratitude for Barbara Brodsky and John Orr and Aaron and Jeshua (and all who help me remember who I really am) seeps deeply into every day.

The take-out dinners and dominoes by Zoom.

And now, Jackson Taylor Yarber, born December 28, 2020, has joined our family, and I am loving my first great-grandchild fully from Southwest Florida as he is in Tennessee. Fingers crossed it will be safe to hold him and smell him on our way back home in the spring.

In the spring — the spring of 2021!

It feels otherworldly to say that…

2020 is ending.

2021 is beginning.

Suddenly, I am hearing a song from the musical Godspell in my head: Where are you going? Where are you going? Can you take me with you?

Last December I was fixated on accessing a Magic Eye Wall Calendar! When I found one, I decided to gift a bunch of folks! Janis and I have ritualized the turning of the page on the first day of each month, letting the image come into view, noticing how some are very easy and others quite challenging.

Interestingly, there will not be a Magic Eye Wall Calendar for 2021, as announced on the website: Our calendar publisher has asked us to wait until next year to publish a Magic Eye 2022 wall calendar, as printing, shipping and distribution channels have all been disrupted by Covid-19. We will not be releasing a Magic Eye 2021 wall calendar. Wishing everyone a happy & safe year!

Janis and I have agreed to go back through each month of the 2020 Magic Eye Wall Calendar, enjoying again in 2021 what we learned in 2020.

The missing and longing, and seeing and being. It has all been here all along.

Here’s to 2021, a true spiritual path. It, too, has been there all along….

“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.” ~ Joseph Campbell

December 31, 2020
On the Shark’s Terms
Like my parents taught me,
‘There are no monsters in the sea,
only the ones we make up in our heads.’
~ Christina Zenato

A friend shared an amazing video of a woman swimming with sharks. But this woman is not just “swimming” with the sharks. Christina Zenato, a professional diver, is removing fish hooks caught in their flesh!

Christina says, “It’s done on the shark’s terms, not mine.”

Amen!

Christina has a box containing over 300 hooks….

I wrote in my journal earlier today:

Dear Holy Spirit,

I am so impatient with John. What will help me be kind?

(Note* The catalyst for this latest round of impatience was him wanting to use the tablet Stacey gave him instead of lugging around the huge 3-ringed binder. He went the home of a music friend who has software he likes a lot. John returned minus his tablet, excited that his friend was going to set it up for him. Soon, John’s friend came, unable to complete the download without my email address. I get triggered into frustration at having to manage John’s technology as well as my own, especially when it is something I am not fluent in. True confession: I do not know how to work this Android tablet, nor do I know anything about this software….)

The VOICE in my journal responded:

V: The impatience is not with him, it is within you. Like so many humans currently, strong emotions around the helplessness related to the pandemic are arising. Are you providing enough space for all you are experiencing? We know you are navigating a lot, but so was Viktor Frankl.

Man’s Search for Meaning is a 1946 book by Viktor Frankl chronicling his experiences as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps during World War II. Living through horrific happenings, Frankl was able to find purpose and positive feelings using his psychotherapeutic method.

A quick search brought up this quotation:
During the Oakwood Retreat, John Orr shared having asked Aaron why human incarnation is so difficult. Aaron said we choose incarnation because the catalysts for growth are so readily available on this heavy density plane. Aaron said there is a plane on which soul growth can happen without so much difficulty, but without a physical or emotional body (only a mental and spiritual body), the soul growth is soooooo slow, like millions of years. Aaron said, “Soul’s who are impatient for growth choose the earth plane!”

Between stimulus and response there is a space….

You can watch for “divine” themes in each day. Howard Thurman’s Word for the Day from Gratefulness.org : Whatever may be the tensions and the stresses of a particular day, there is always lurking close at hand the trailing beauty of forgotten joy or unremembered peace.

In that space is our power to choose our response….

And the Deep Spring Center Thought for Today from Aaron:
Perhaps as you sit there by the water, let’s use a big sloppy wet dog as example, the dog comes running along and jumps across your lap. You’re wet, you’re covered with sand. You have a scratch where his claws dug into the flesh. He’s licking your feet and it’s an unpleasant feeling. Ultimate reality has not gone anywhere; pure awareness hasn’t gone anywhere; but for the moment you can’t access it. Your mind and body come back to a lower vibration. You breathe a few times. A friend comes over and dries you off with a towel. You open up, see the dog frolicking so happily, catch his joy a bit, and you open back up into pure awareness.

In our response lies our growth and our freedom….

May all beings experience the beauty of forgotten joy or unremembered peace.
October 18, 2020
Let it Shine!
We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.

~ Pema Chödrön

This week’s Oakwood Retreat has been very intense. Staying at home for retreat has some benefits. You don’t have the expense of lodging or travel time, and you get to sleep in your own bed. Like all of life, though, everything holds its opposite.

The morning instruction on working skillfully with distortion and heavy emotions was soooooo relevant…

I have had one of the decidedly most unskillful weeks I have had for decades. When you are sitting in meditation for 6-8 hours, day after day, stuff will come up. The catalyst for my stuff was the (hopefully) last of the work to complete home repair related to the mold remediation. But vital to realize the catalyst (whatever the catalyst) is not the distortion. The distortion is how we relate to the what is triggering us.

On one walk, I saw two crickets. On another, about a half dozen earth worms. Twice I had a red-bellied woodpecker hanging right on my window! Every day that shrub is filled with the comings and goings of sparrows. But one morning I heard a disturbance, opened my eyes and saw that a hawk was actually in the middle of the shrub. I had six Blue Jays at the feeder one morning, and this morning I had four big crows.

Cricket totem: A sign of good luck in many cultures, cricket symbolizes initiative and intelligence, and having the gift of foresight.

Earthworm totem: Working old ground; examining the past and its effects upon present conditions; including exploring past lives.

Sparrow totem: Integrity, empowerment, persistence, hard work, peace and wisdom. Guides us to learn to work hard with all.

Woodpecker totem: The power of rhythm. Discrimination. Connected to the heartbeat of Mother Earth herself. Symbolizes the stimulation and awakening of new mental faculties. New ways to look at things — new wisdom and new rhythms to dance to.

Hawk totem: Represents focus, strength, and poise, and can show you your hidden abilities to lead yourself and others to a more positive outcome.

Blue Jay totem: Symbolized by assertiveness, determination, and above all, intelligence.

Crow totem: Watchful creatures with sharp and powerful foresight. An omen of transformation and change.

When you go on retreat, you practice noble silence. This does not just mean not talking. You are excused from any of the normal social politeness. No small talk, no anticipating others needs, no distracting yourself with discursive thought. You see clearly the weeds in your own garden. So I wrote a poem.
During the final sitting, my mind went back to some trauma I experienced while traveling to Europe in 2011 — this exact same week! Mind was churning trying to remember the details. What was the name of the country where I had gone to the exotic gardens? Thinking, grasping, trying to remember until I let my mind soften, like taking a step back, and simply intended access to the information. Pop! Monaco….

This is not a new lesson for me. I remember leaving the house a bit late with my earrings in my hand. Pulling up to the stop sign, the left earring slipped in but I could not find the hole in my right ear. The next stop sign, I tried again. Again without success. At the third stop sign I asked for help. Pop! The earring went right in and I heard a voice say, “We would have helped at the first stop sign if you had asked.”

I have wired lamps, lifted heavy objects, remembered things, found things, and received guidance regularly for a very long time. Our teacher, Aaron, was speaking of how the mundane mind can be very helpful to orchestrate some tasks. One student asked Aaron if he uses Barbara Brodsky’s mundane mind for working with the technology. Aaron replied, “No, I just invite the computer to co-create with me.”

The current conditions are chaotic. We need all the co-creation with spirit we can access. As Aaron said, “How can I save anyone if I can’t save myself?”

This week I saw a quotation by Thich Nhat Hanh: “The next Buddha may be a sangha.”

It definitely took a sangha to offer this wonderful week of focused dharma practice. Sharing a few notes from my journal:

You have come as midwives. You can be the midwife who is there in the room being calm or the one running around the room saying, “It isn’t coming quickly enough!”

Be with things as they are. Not stoically, but lovingly. Liberation means walking on the unstable ground and finding your own balance.

Allow the practice to ground us in the innate perfection without denial of the conditions.

Say, “I consecrate this effort to the good of all beings.”

Each time you are able to offer kindness in a difficult condition, it changes the world around you.

One day when we sang “This Little Light of Mine” the teacher said it is really a great big light, so I wrote new words to the tune:

This GREAT Big Light of Mine
(sing it to the tune of This Little Light of Mine)

This GREAT BIG light of mine
I’m gonna let it shine
This GREAT BIG light of mine
This light is divine
This GREAT BIG light of mine
Isn’t even really mine
Let it shine, let it shine, let it

Let it shine around your town
We can let it shine
We have help, we’re not alone
Please just let it shine
Let it shine when fear appears
We can let it shine
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine
October 10, 2020
When Everything Falls Apart, What Remains?
I am technically practicing silence in a meditation retreat at Heartwood Refuge and Retreat Center in Hendersonville, North Carolina. But I am attending via Zoom and my fingers are on the keyboard. The focus of this retreat with John Orr is When Everything Falls Apart, What Remains? This was John’s blurb about the retreat:
On Wednesday afternoon before the retreat began, I had yet another tender conversation with our daughter about our diverse approach to precautions related to this virus. We did not argue, but we make very different choices. A few hours later, during the opening introductions, I received news from a good friend–also attending via Zoom–that she was not feeling well. Here is the rest of the story, posted on Facebook a few moments ago in response to another friend, Kate:

Kate posted:
I feel like I’m one of the few people still practicing social distancing, and sheltering in place. FB is full of pics of people out to restaurants, at pools and beaches or sharing space with relatives they haven’t seen in awhile. I would love to see our kids but I can’t guarantee I’m not infected nor can they. Am I just over sensitive to this?

I responded to Kate:
Kate, THANK YOU! I could have written this post. Today I would add that another friend, thinking the same way you and I have been thinking, relented and got together with her family.

Her adult children drove in from out of state, each household traveling in separate vehicles, taking proper precautions along way.

Each household brought a tent. My friend rented a party-potty and set up an outdoor kitchen. My friend’s family did not enter her house, and when the family went hiking each family drove in his/her own car. They maintained social distance along the trail.

Shortly after they arrived, her daughter’s partner received a call from work that his colleague had tested positive. He got in their vehicle and drove to the nearest location and had a Covid test.

Of course the results from his test didn’t come back until AFTER he was already back home, and not until AFTER he was already symptomatic. His test came back positive.

On Wednesday evening, gathered via Zoom, my friend reported that she had a “wicked cold” and had gone to get a Covid test. She would know in a week.

Yesterday, she sent a private message via Zoom chat, “I tested positive. I have COVID.”

Even the precautions level that you and I are committed to, may not be enough….

Kate, keep teaching by example! So much to learn from this.

❤️🙏🏼🦋

Deep Spring Center
Thought for Today

It is not the teacher who is the authority; it is the dharma that is the authority. It is sati, mindful presence, which is the authority. It is awareness, which is the authority. It is the deeply loving and open heart that is the authority. It is the Ground of Being, the divine essence of each, which is the authority. The teacher who has done his or her work, understands the practice and has developed a depth of realization of how things are, has no need to be the authority to another, but is willing to offer what he or she knows with a certainty, offering it for the guidance of others, but with no need to say, ‘This is it!’ If it really is it, others will discover that through their own practice. ~ Aaron
August 16, 2020
Emerald Isle Musings

WORD FOR THE DAY

We did not ask for this room or this music;
we were invited in.

Therefore, because the dark surrounds us,
let us turn our faces toward the light.

Let us endure hardship
to be grateful for plenty…

We did not ask for this room or this music.

But because we are here,
let us dance.

~ Stephen King
(visit GRATEFULNESS.ORG)

The closing “circle” for the 2020 Emerald Isle meditation retreat was—like the entire week—happening on ZOOM.

The title of the retreat was “Deepening Practice in Challenging Times.”

While I had planned to use the week letting go of the stress of the past month of Pandemic and Post-Mold-Remediation experience (see my previous posts), at the last minute, I became Debra the Deva-in-Demand, functioning as the ZOOM co-host/moderator for the week.

Note* I have no previous experience hosting a group on ZOOM.

A difficulty with the platform is how to effectively experience group chanting. We are still working on that….

Although I did not ask for this room, or this music, I was there, so I danced. The ZOOM room was welcoming, the messy music was magical, and I was so blessed to serve.

Adding an intricate layer of dance moves to our virtual/residential retreat is the fact that our beloved teacher, Barbara Brodsky, is deaf. Our beloved co-teacher, John Orr, did a lot of simultaneous speaking while finger-signing for Barbara, including an entire dharma talk! Volunteers did much typing into the chat box, and I was often directing Barbara via closed-caption. A retreat moto might have been, “Slow down, slow down… a little bit slower, please.”

The Pali term, Katavedi, is related to gratefully giving as a result of having fully received.

The one who is grateful (kataññu) helps in return (katavedi).

For the closing circle, we gathered at the appointed time, and one-by-one people let me know when ready to share. That person’s face would be spotlighted, their words (which had been emailed to me) would be shared on the screen. Each person (sometimes tearfully) would read. Here are my closing words:

There were some rough spots with the technology of this retreat. Contraction, grasping, wanting to help. I am totally new to hosting ZOOM. Patty and Tana and I had a crash course last week. Tana received more than a few SOS messages. WE did the best we could. Not at all easy, but so much learning! We will do better next time.

Additionally, two friends are in ICU on ventilators with COVID-19. I have had my phone and email active this week to host ZOOM. I am grateful to have been available to both of these families. Ordinarily, my phone and email would not have been checked at all during the week of retreat.

My husband, John, had sciatica so severely at the start of the week he could barely walk from the bed to the bathroom. At the end of each night, I would do reflexology for him.

John Orr spoke of katavedi, which is giving back from that place of appreciation and gratitude.

This week I have been giving back. We could never ask for better teachers.

I have infinite love and gratitude for Barbara, and John, Aaron, The Mother, Jeshua, Father John… LOVE, and for each of you, my brothers and sisters of light.

I could write a book titled “SNAFU” related to the ambitious decision to offer a week-long, silent, residential retreat with people safe-sheltering at home, but the difficulties did not diminish the benefits.

Most participants were surprised, pleased, and affected by their first residential retreat at home.

Writing this, my heart sank as I realized Rita asked me to share for her, and I forgot to do that. Here are her loving words of gratitude: It was an honor to participate in the retreat with each and every one of you. The strong feeling of connection with so many, most of whom I had never “met” before, was so warming and affirming. I want to thank Aaron, Barbara and John for sharing their wisdom, personal stories, encouragement and Love. I truly feel blessed to have had the opportunity to be in the presence of such skillful loving teachers. Namaste’

We practice where we are. Where we are is in social-isolation. This bird on the shrub is outside my virtual “meditation hall” window:

Iris shared a Terry Tempest Williams poem (also one of my favorites): “Once upon a time, when women were birds, there was the simple understanding that to sing at dawn and to sing at dusk was to heal the world through joy. The birds still remember what we have forgotten, that the world is meant to be celebrated.”

The world—even the current pandemic world—is meant to be celebrated. Even in social isolation, we are never alone. LOVE is always with us.

And so LOVE must have the final “going home” instructions:

YOU are LOVE. That essence of you can never be destroyed.

It can be hidden.
Let it out!

It can be forgotten.
Reawaken it!

I want friends to dance with me in the garden of LOVE.

You are so special and beautiful—each of you. The millions of beings on this earth who had the courage to incarnate, to move past old, limiting habit patterns of fear, and remember the essence of LOVE. This is what your practice is for.

I want to thank you for giving this week of your time to this practice.

Giving and receiving…. giving and receiving…. giving and receiving.

My heart to your heart.

I love you.

April 25, 2020
A Bird in the Hand

Up way before the first bird sings a song of the light soon coming, I wonder if it is breaking the noble silence to have my fingers on the keyboard writing to you while I am still on retreat. The lines are blurry at this retreat. It is being held on ZOOM and people are not just sheltering-in-place, now they are also retreating-in-place. Our meditation hall is a photo on my computer, using “share screen” on ZOOM.

So many of the benefits are here; being with others dedicated to the practice, clear seeing into habitual tendencies, helpful instruction, and deep dharma talks. I am so grateful we are instructed to see everything though the eyes of LOVE.

I do miss really some aspects of a residential retreat: having meals prepared, hearing others cough or breathe or chant or cry, and the walk to and from the meditation hall in the stillness of the darkness.

COVID-19 has certainly brought a lot of changes….

I will save more personal reflections until after the retreat ends and be content now sharing some highlights of the teachings:

1. Rejoicing in the good efforts of others is the easiest way to contentment. (This is usually thought of as rejoicing in the good fortune of others, but one student learned to use this principle related to the good efforts of others. I liked that a lot.)

2. The only way we can resolve habit patterns of mind is to experience them.

3. This pain is bearable, but there is still aversion. Think, “Ahhh, I can have compassion for this human.” Notice what this aversion feels like in your body. Is is hot? Icy? You can bring compassion to these sensations.

4. In the depth of wisdom and compassion, there is no grasping or aversion, just space for the experiences of pleasant or unpleasant or neutral.

5. Is there anything here that is not an expression of the unconditioned? (God / Source / All That Is)

6. To give and receive love means to release the ego enough that there is little distinction between self and others. From your profound intention to alleviate suffering for all beings, cherish yourself and all equally.

7. Story of Jeshua as a child having hit a bird with a slingshot. The intention was not to hit the bird but to hit the target. The bird was bleeding. The subtle thought, “I am bad. I am evil.” His mother guiding him to forgive himself and to forgive the bird for being where it was able to be hit. Offering the bird forgiveness for having eaten a worm. He took the bird into his small hands, “Cherishing the bird and cherishing myself.” In a few moments, the bird shook itself, looked at Jeshua, and then flew away. Jesuhua said, “I don’t know why the bird lived. Perhaps it lived because I reminded it it was loved and the world needed it….”

I hear the first bird singing outside my window now. You have time. Drop your old beliefs about self and others. All are loved. The world needs all.

April 23, 2020
What Endures?

Sunday, March 29, 2020 was the second (and last) day of the Deep Spring Meditation Center virtual retreat with Barbara Brodsky, Aaron, and John Orr. In the afternoon, I went to Galt Nature Preserve for my walking meditation.

This is the latest/driest I have been here in Southwest Florida. The flora I am familiar with and love, including Sweet Acacia, has almost died back entirely. New (unfamiliar) flora is coming forth.

I took a short video of the wind singing through the dry palms sounding just like a far-away water fall.

As I arrived back at my car, hawk flew directly overhead swooping low!

Juvenile eagle soared with its wide, young wings, just above the horizon, about 300 yards away. This eaglet was born here in the preserve earlier this season, in the nest a short distance from the drive. December seems so very long ago now.

Yellow police tape surrounds the pavilion as though the deserted picnic tables had recently been the scene of a crime.

The sun was hot on my skin.

The thermometer on the instrument panel indicated 87 degrees. All season I had stayed in the house during the heat of the day, protecting myself from the discomfort.

The past two afternoons while ‘on retreat’ I had walked in the heat.

Tenderly, I witnessed a pattern in my past of wanting to avoid being uncomfortable. My throat tightened around the thought that perhaps we miss too much….

I turned the air conditioning off before starting the engine in the stifling hot car which has black interior and was parked in the hot tropical sun.

I pushed the button to lower the windows and was amazed how refreshing the air felt.

In his closing comments, John Orr spoke of aging and of the current conditions in our world. He said so much is falling away, but even though there is suffering, we can reflect with gratitude on what has been wonderful and beautiful. We can ask, “What endures?”

May this humble human remember….

March 30, 2020
Happy New You!

Most people will be wishing you a happy new year today, but I am wishing all beings a happy new YOU.

Attributing the saying that “Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be” did not happen until 50 years after Abraham Lincoln’s death. Dr. Frank Crane included the saying, and the attribution, in a column about New Year’s resolutions in the Syracuse Herald. No evidence exists that Lincoln said it, but it is probably pretty true, whomever said it first.

The most significant learnings of 2018 hover around mindfulness, nondual awareness, and intention. In September of 2018 I joined a two-year study intensive with Barbara Brodsky, Aaron, and John Orr: morning meditation, daily journal entry, and living from highest purpose.

Previous posts have mentioned Rob Swartz, Rupert Spira, and Janet Conner. Perhaps you have already taken time with them, but I will include links again just in case today is the perfect day for letting their expanded awareness awaken our own.

Rob Swartz “Buddha at the Gas Pump” interview.

Rupert Spria “Buddha at the Gas Pump” interview.

Janet Conner “Find Your Soul’s Purpose & Live a Life You Love!”Interview.

This morning’s thought from the Brahma Kumaris says it well:

The best solutions to problems will not be the result of hard thinking. Use your time better by creating peaceful thoughts, and problems will cease to affect you. Do not try to solve everything on your own. Leave some space for God to come and help you.

Whatever your thoughts about “God” might be, whether you have a religious or spiritual practice, or perhaps just your sense of something greater than yourself, make 2019 the year you rely less on your own effort and leave some space for God to help you.

For example, if you misplace your keys, rather than frantically searching, simply ask within. Affirm, “What is mine comes to me.” See what happens.

When you are not feeling well—an ache or pain—something major or minor—rather than name the symptom or the diagnosis, or go into story about it, simply note “sensation…” Try it! This is a new year, and a new you.

Notice old habit energy. A dear friend of mine has recently begun boating regularly after many years without a boat. I notice the habit energy to feel left out and jealous. Looking more closely, it is clear those are not my authentic experiences of her good fortune. I am truly thrilled for her. I am enthusiastic about her being able to renew a passion for boating. Her joy is my joy.

2018 was also the year when the tree in our yard came down. The most significant question around that was when Barbara Brodsky asked, “Who dies? What dies? Does the tree still live in your heart?” (See: Does the Tree Still Live in Your Heart?”

What year ends? What year begins? Who is the old you? Who is the new you? Does the real you still live in your heart?

January 1, 2019
Upekka

You have heard it said to be careful what you pray for. This past Tuesday evening, as our Dharma “Path of Clear Light” class was coming to an end, I asked for specific instructions around the practice of Upekka. Upekka is the Buddhist practice of equanimity.

John Orr’s clarification of the Upekka practice, “All beings are heirs to their own karma. A person’s happiness or unhappiness is not dependent upon me but on their own actions and choices,” resulted in Barbara Brodsky’s offering thanks for him reminding her to keep that in mind related to her husband, Hal.

Nothing in the teachings John shared, or Barbara’s comments, totally prepared me for the next few days of interactions with friends and clients.

People are navigating every one of the eight worldly conditions: loss and gain, good-repute and ill-repute, praise and censure, sorrow and happiness.

To practice Upekka is to be unwavering or to stay neutral in the face of each of these.

The “far enemy” of Upekka is greed and resentment, mind-states in obvious opposition. The “near enemy” (the quality which superficially resembles upekka but which subtly opposes it), is indifference or apathy.

“Do you want me to just be present with you or would it be helpful for me to offer some sort of process?” breath barely audible on either end of the phone.

Skating on thin ice.

Having been reading Rupert Spira’s work on nondual awareness, I pretty quickly notice the subtle grasping, the habit energy of not wanting those I care about to suffer.

“Many of our ideas and beliefs about ourselves and the world are so deeply ingrained that we are unaware that they are beliefs and take them, without question, for the absolute truth.” ~ Rupert Spira

The ground beneath my feet is shifting.

“The discovery that peace, happiness and love are ever-present within our own Being, and completely available at every moment of experience, under all conditions, is the most important discovery that anyone can make.” ~ Rupert Spira

Timing is everything.

Richard Bandler says the best way to help a poor person is to not be poor.

I grab the Daily Recollection and finger my mala while reading the 53rd through the 55th beads:

I remember the practice of sati (presence):
To be present with the breath.
To be present with the proper object as it presents itself.
To be present with the proper attitude: Whatever arises, I will not fixate on it. I will let my mind be free and spacious, resting in pure awareness.

“The greatest discovery in life is to discover that our essential nature does not share the limits nor the destiny of the body and mind.” ~ Rupert Spira

I add to Upekka the practice of Metta (lovingkindness), Karuna (compassion), and Mudita (sympathetic joy).

I remember the great prayer: May all beings be free from suffering. May all beings feel joy. May all beings realize their intrinsic perfection and find perfect peace.

November 3, 2018
Does the tree still live in your heart?

An alternate title for this post could be: Fleas Have Not Yet Flown.

Checking in with our small group on the Dharma Path (a two-year course with Barbara Brodsky, Aaron, and John Orr) on Tuesday evening, I shared feeling very sad about the removal of a beautiful, big, old (about 60 years), tree that was cut down that day. It might have been easier if the tree had been obviously weak. It might have been easier if I had made the decision instead of having it be made by the owner/manager of the property where we live in our tiny house now. And it might have been easier if it had not been our ONLY tree in our yard, leaving us at the mercy of the blazing summer sun.

I told Barbara how unskillful I felt, not being able to feel the everlasting peace as well as the sadness. She said kindly, “Who dies? What dies? Does the tree still live in your heart?”

I choked back tears, no longer just for the beautiful old tree, but now for the human who was having difficulty keeping my heart open.

Yesterday morning when I arrived at Joel’s, it was obvious the fleas had not yet flown. (See Fleas!)

When I pulled the chair out to have lunch, I saw a live flea on it, and twice during lunch a flea crawled on to my ankle and bit me as I ate my salad. Instead of my normal nap on the massage table, I placed a light-colored bed sheet on my lap, sat on the futon downstairs, and inspected McGee. She is the one with very light-colored fur, so easiest to see fleas. She innocently welcomed my search, experiencing it simply as loving attention. I found several live fleas still on her sweet body, and lots of dried blood and flea-body parts. When I went downstairs for bed, McGee came to bed with me (her usual delight at having an overnight companion on the lower level). While reading, I chased down one live flea on her forehead. She obviously was not loving me any less because of the fleas. I was doing my best to stay open to her precious presence.

This morning as I entered the kitchen, I saw two fleas jumping on the tile floor. I found half dozen or so on the slippers I was wearing. Joel sprayed the herbal product he has been using on the kitchen floor, and I stood at the counter to eat my fruit bowl.

Let me be perfectly clear—this is not about fleas. This is about my heart. More importantly, it is about the truth that as the day progressed, it became more and more difficult for me to keep my heart open.

I can see clearly how the difficulties with the fleas is helping me see, accept, and love my human self.

Barbara continued, “On the mundane level (relative reality), the open heart is where we remember that on the supramundane level (ultimate reality), there has never been anything to heal. Able to just say, ‘Fleas, fear, sadness…. ahhhhh…. I no longer have need to manifest this. I do not choose to embrace this as a reality.’”

It might have been helpful to have read today’s Daily Word early this morning rather than when I got home.

The key word is “Centered.” I am being pulled off-center by my belief Joel should be doing something else (taking the cats out of the house and having the house treated), and by my aversion to the flea experience. Fear of bringing fleas home to my house enters in also. Feeling hopeless, helpless (it is hard enough to get myself to do what I want, much less Joel), and totally not centered.

I do prefer feeling centered, and in those times when it is difficult to do so, I can choose to remember my highest purpose is to love.

Debra, in Egyptian, means she who brings the sublime light of the creator.

And when the light is bright, you can see the fleas!

September 27, 2018