Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: John Orr

Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu

Today is my birthday.

As my birthday ritual I did an audio Mudita meditation with John Orr from an online retreat day April 11, 2021. Mudita is a Sanskrit and Pali word that means “sympathetic joy” or “appreciative pleasure”. It’s a Buddhist concept that involves feeling joy for the good fortune of others.

The first person you choose is someone you can feel a genuine sense of happiness for their good fortune and happiness. Today I chose my older grandson, Bradley. Currently I am sharing substantial time with him as he his helping me get DebraBasham.com set up. It will be the new home to Yellow Brick Road and Sacred Stories and many of the resources that have been located on SCS-Matters.com.

The second person is often called The Benefactor — someone who has been loving and supportive for you at some time or times in your life. I chose Reverend Betty Lue Lieber, who founded Reunion with her husband, Robert Waldon. This is the the program I was ordained through in 1997.

The third person is a neutral person. It may not even be someone you know personally, but it is someone who is feeling happiness and good fortune with a recent accomplishment, something that likely brings that person joy. I chose Donald Trump. You are instructed in the meditation to notice any old mind states like jealousy or envy. Right there with those feelings say, “May joy infuse your life. May it continue all of your days. May you truly be happy. May you truly be free. May all of this grow. May it infuse your heart.”

The fourth person is sometimes called The Enemy but it is just a challenging person (a person you are having a challenge with). You are encouraged to notice all of the happiness in that person’s life — loving family and friends and relationships, meaningful work. “May you be truly happy and well.” You are invited to be genuinely grateful for all that you have learned from this person.

After the guided meditation ended I played a recording of the chant “Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu” from a residential retreat day October 10, 2019. Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu is a Sanskrit phrase that translates to “May all beings everywhere be happy and free”. It is a prayer for global well-being and peace, and a perfect chant to support the Mudita Meditation.

When I finished I looked at a list of others I know share a January 22 birthday:
1. Wayne Kaiser
2. Emily Warner
3. Phillip Largay
4. Joyce Zerbe
5. Aaron (Linda Gunter’s son)
6. Allen Mumper
7. Emily’s husband’s cousin
8. PT at Borgess
9. George Ross
10. Izzie (granddaughter Courtney’s friend)
11. Carrie Startcher (daughter Stacey’s friend in Clarksville)
12. Sivia’s mother

I like to also contemplate the day’s messages that come on this day from sources I value and follow.

Daily Reflection from Deep Spring

In a moment of darkness, you are wont to ask, “Why this darkness?” You have a sense that if you could but understand the darkness, you could protect yourself from it. Such thinking only further strengthens the illusion of the self. Can you sit there in that darkness and simply know, “Here I sit in darkness and I will wait. I need not fight with the darkness. I need not try to push it away. I need not grasp, even at faith.”

Just faith: faith expressed as the willingness to sit in darkness, if darkness is what is there, without a need to grasp at the light but with the willingness to open the doors and allow in the light. ~ Aaron

On this day of your life Debra, I believe God wants you to know that not everything has to turn out exactly the way you planned in order for you to call it a success. Sometimes all God wants you to do is to “get the ball rolling.” Then, She’ll take it from there.

So when things turn out other than the way you wanted them to, don’t be so quick to say, “Bummer!”

Many a Bummer is a Blessing in disguise. Consider the possibility that life is magic…and that there’s a rabbit in that hat.

Love, your Friend, Neale Donald Walsch

From Gratefulness.org

You must live life with the full knowledge that your actions will remain. We are creatures of consequence. ~ Zadie Smith

From The Daily Tejaniya

When you are truly aware you aren’t focusing, yet you are
aware of objects. You are aware of thoughts of the mind, sensations
of the body, and perceptions (sights,sounds, etc.) of the world.

By practicing in this way, the mind stays fresh.

It may not be usual to be happier for someone else’s birth than your own on your birthday, but today I truly feel greater joy that Stacey was born than that I was born. I get that she could not have been born unless I had been, but emotions don’t always make sense. In fact, they are often very distorted. That is just how it is. So at three quarters of a century I am grateful for the wonderful woman who came in as a teenage pregnancy and those that came in from her.

RIP Wayne Kaiser and Allen Mumper.

May all beings everywhere be happy and free. Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu….

January 22, 2025
The Perfect Week for a Retreat
I leave for Holly, Michigan, where I will attend a silent meditation retreat titled “Remembering our Awakened Essence” with Barbara Brodsky and John Orr from Deep Spring Center for Meditation, and sangha sisters and brothers from all over the world. The retreat will be held at The Maryville Retreat Center. This week Barbara’s husband, Hal, had a heart attack and has been hospitalized, receiving a pacemaker. Many know Hal previously had a gravely serious stroke and has been being cared for in their home since Covid. John Orr lives in Alexander, North Carolina, very near Asheville, where hurricane Helene has left his area with roads out, power down, and horrific destruction.

There is a lot going on.

This is not my first rodeo. I have been to MANY week-long silent retreats with this group, but due to the pandemic it has been five years (October 2019 being the last) since I attended a residential retreat. I definitely feel like a newbie. And a lot of rain and cool is forecast. Likely not going to be easy distraction by walking the beautiful campus.

Plus, there is a lot going on this week.

1. John will be staying alone for the first time since he had open heart surgery and the TIA from noon Sunday until Stacey arrives Thursday late afternoon.
2. Our neighbor (Joe) is having heart valve surgery on Wednesday.
3. Friends are navigating the losses and messes following Hurricane Milton.
4. Our friend (Molly) is having a pacemaker.
5. Our friend (Nancy) is turning 80.
6. My long-time client and friend (Jane) is experiencing colon bleeding that cannot be surgically repaired. It is a complication from radiation therapy.
7. Our country is approaching a Presidential Election that has amplified differences of opinions without highlighting the truth that we are interconnected.

In the busyness of preparations for going on retreat, I took time yesterday to watch a video of Tara Brach with Dan Harris. Here are a few nuggets I am taking with me, and since you will be going with me in my heart, from “Timeless Heart Wisdom for our Times.”
It is probably obvious some of the reasons why I am nervous about turning off my phone and not checking for calls or texts or emails.

It is also probably obvious why this is the perfect week for a silent meditation retreat….
October 13, 2024
Retreat Musings June 12, 2024
Retreat Musings June 12, 2024

Today is the last day of this retreat with Barbara Brodsky and John Orr. I was blessed to stay in the guest quarters at the home of my dear friends, Delcy and Tom Kuhlman.

The title of this week is “Living Our True Nature as Love: Vipassana, Pure Awareness and Practices of the Heart” and this morning I wrote in my journal:

What has it meant for me to be present in this retreat? Nothing more or less than what it means for being present in any place and any time.

Two things that seem to want to be shared.

1) What is in the way is the way.

2) Practice with the everyday things of life, called the mundane. Years ago we learned an exercise to take a small amount of water into your mouth and just hold it as you watch an urge to swallow arise. When the urge begins to lessen, consciously swallow. Absolutely everything is arising and ceasing out of conditions. Perhaps there is a third thing that wants to be shared🤪

Everything in the mundane sense realm goes in totally. You may only be aware of aspects, but your experience includes everything: what you see, what you hear, what you feel (the kinestetic cluster includes what you taste and smell) as well as what you know. The sense realm that you are least aware of consciously often has the greatest influence.

It has come to be my experience that the same can be said of what are called the supramundane. Each mundane sense has a corresponding higher sense realm, because it is the consciousness with which we are perceiving that shifts what we perceive. These supramundane sense experiences are also always present, whether we have awareness of them or not: Nada is always there. Luminosity is always there. Chi energy is always there. Spaciousness is always there.

In Buddhism, however, nada refers to the sound of silence. To detect the nada sound, turn your attention toward your hearing. If you listen carefully to the sounds around you, you’re likely to hear a continuous, high-pitched inner sound like white noise in the background. (Article The Sound of Silence, published in Lion’s Roar.) Interestingly, nada is also the Spanish word for “nothing.”

According to Wikipedia, luminosity or clear light is the innate condition of the mind, associated with Buddha-nature, the realization of which is the goal of meditative practice. It can seem that everything is more brilliant than physical light, illuminated, almost glowing. Think about images of halo’s you may have seen.

Chi energy can be thought of as the bridge between your form (meaning your physical body, your thoughts, emotions, sensations) and the formless part of you which is your true essence — soul, spirit, or consciousness itself. Science might speak of the bio-electric magnetic field, energy that emanates from your organs.

Spaciousness is a bit more challenging to define but is likely the most basic. Think about it this way: The spacious mind has room for everything. It is like the space in a room, which is never harmed by what goes in and out of it. In fact, we say “the space in this room,” but actually, the room is in the space, the whole building is in the space.

The Daily Quote from Deep Spring for June 12, 2024 says, “There is no duality. Anything that is born of love also carries darkness and fear. These are not the essence; these are conditioned expressions. You cannot fully express love until you face fear. You cannot fully express light until you live in darkness and learn how to move through and transcend the darkness, transcending it by the light within you.”

The Daily Tejaniya tied right in: “Let things unfold naturally. As you watch an experience continuously, you will begin to recognize patterns. Later, you will see the whole picture. The value of meditation becomes more apparent with dedicated practice over long stretches of time.” (Article Noticing Space published in Tricycle.)

One of the most active points of this retreat was Dharma Sister who as the result of a brain bleed is having difficulty navigating the technology to access Zoom. It has taken a village to assist this beloved one to be able to have the experience of study, sharing, and meditating with others dedicated to the path. In thanking those who were physically there to offer the necessary support I said, “I am confident that if you had been with us on our closing Zoom circle to see and hear her read with such skill and depth of understanding of the Dharma her sections of the Mala Recitation I know you would share now in that joy completely.”

So many things shared by those on the retreat still resonate in my heart. Here are a couple of things that may also touch you deeply:
“Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened. Don’t open the door to the study and begin reading. Take down the dulcimer. Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” ~ Rumi

Yes, there are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground, and love is what is still here when I am not.

Blessed be….
June 13, 2024
The Guest House
Today is March 21 and I have absolutely no “excuse” for not having posted on Yellow Brick Road since February 26. Yes, we have had house guests off and on for the past six weeks. Yes, I have been riding up to 20 miles per day on my bike this year rather than the normal 5-8 miles of recent years, including time for stopping to share affection with this kitty on Harbor Drive.

Yes, I have completed 19 one-thousand-piece puzzles, and, yes, I have also read five books since we arrived here in Punta Gorda early December, but, the real reason my posts have been few and far between is far deeper.

The real reason is I am profoundly present with the play of light and darkness within my mind and that can be awkward to speak about. At Tuesday evening’s North Fort Myers Bluegrass Jam after the sun had gone down light was pouring in from from the nearby baseball field behind the line of trees. I was transfixed by this juxtaposition of the light and darkness so I snapped a photo.

I am likely continuing to mine gifts of intentionally working with shadow. These past years of classes with Barbara Brodsky and John Orr and Aaron during which we navigated the Sacred Darkness. Sacred Darkness is very much with me. As is the Light. Each experience brings myriad thoughts, feelings, sensations, emotions…. all can be welcomed, even while not all are comfortable, and some are outright uncomfortable.

As a guide, Rumi’s poem “The Guest House” comes to mind frequently.
Every line of this poem played itself out on Sunday when I watched a china pasta bowl I bought at the flea market for one dollar break in half against the asphalt. A hundred things cannot fully express the thoughts, feelings, sensations, and emotions melded into an experience.

“It was only one dollar,” were the words I spoke at the time of the crash.

Totally true words, but not the totality of my experience.

I could not get that bowl out of my thoughts.

I wished I had taken it to the van.

The best way to describe it is like a too-brief encounter that leaves you yearning for a deeper knowing of one another. Who made this? How did it come to be at this flea market today? Who gave it such a low price? What is/was it’s real value? What would it feel like and look like filled with delicious food sitting in the middle of the table?

I wished I had taken a photo of that bowl it to remember it by. I think I recall there having been a couple of butterflies and some flowers. I know there was green along the rim. The bowl was made in Italy, but I do not know if it was hand painted. I wished I had carefully brought the two halves home and glued them back together rather than having John toss them into the trash can. It could not hold pasta but perhaps it could have held fruit on the counter…. I grieved the loss.

Complicating factors were the unanswered questions around the mishap. Details I did not have access to as I longed to put my mind at rest. I wanted to know the who, what, when, where, why, and how. I longed to free my mind of the ruminating. This being human is a guest house.

The experience is not just about that bowl. It is about the nature of mind. A loved one dies. A loved one survives. All of the unanswered questions. A welcomed baby. An abused child. Kindness. Unkindness. Pleasant and painful. Light and darkness playing itself out on that inner landscape of mind.

This being human is a guest house. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. ~ Rumi
March 21, 2024
SOAR

When the loving heart simply asks, “How do we best find forgiveness in this situation?” and you take it into meditation and you ask for help, the help that comes is not spirit help versus your help; it’s simply love, one voice of love coming through whatever source it can come through. Let go of “Who is it coming from?” It’s just the voice of love. You can tell when you are tuned into that voice of love because there’s not a lot of contraction and grasping. The body energy is open, connected. ~ Aaron

This morning begins the fall retreat with Barbara Brodsky, John Orr, and Aaron. I will be physically at home, serving as Zoom host, but my heart is also with each of you.

This morning as I readied my space, I noticed some words on a promo piece for Zan Lombardo’s Forge & Scroll exhibit:

It is time to give up deeply….He could do no more. Transformation appears as the death, at its right time.

As I wrote the words into my journal, along with the comment, “I’m not sure from where the words came,” I also hear: “The words came from the ONE.”

I played with the letters in one.

O – N – E

Only now energy.

I had selected some special healing stones to place on my side table. I put the spirit (or love) rock that says FORGIVE YOURSELF on my computer.

Then I wrote in my journal my often-expressed desire of spirit: What would you have me know?

The voice answered:

“No one is going on retreat. The ONE is present. You will have a split second of grief as you let go before you soar.”

S – O – A – R

See once and release.

The retreat ends late Sunday afternoon. The Buddhist practice of dedicating merit is that we practice not only for ourselves, but for the benefit of all the people in our lives and in the world as well.

May all beings come to the end of suffering.

May all see once and release.

May all know peace.

Namaste’

November 3, 2023
A Beautiful World Within

The kind of beauty I want most is the hard-to-get kind that comes from within. ~ Ruby Dee

Last evening I went to a drumming at the home of some long-time friends. One of the other drummers was also a blast from my past. But, the delight of my heart was a young man who had the beauty of curiosity and seeking. Lots of sharing ended an evening significantly warmer than the weather. This morning I sent along information about Adyashanti and Rupert Sprira and a few quotations they might appreciate. I am obviously still under the influence of the 8-day retreat and grateful.

Hearing Rupert Spira telling a questioner that “the contemplation that we do in the yoga meditations would be the first step. The next step is out in the world. That is obviously more active than just contemplating the objective content of our experience. But In theory there’s no reason why it should feel any different from meditating in your chair. Really, everyday life should be considered an advanced to yoga meditation.”

On the retreat John Orr spoke of the horizontal or linear path which puts more emphasis on the conditioned realm, and the vertical path which puts more emphasis on non-striving, and the intersection of these two paths. The vertical path does not negate the movement of mind and the nature of the conditioned realm where one thing leads to another. As Rupert Spira says in The Inward and Outward-Facing Paths of Non-duality, “It is either meditation with your eyes closed or meditation with your eyes open. Those are the only two options.”

My eyes were certainly closed and open a LOT during the retreat. So was my heart.

For example, when I could hear my host in the room next to the apartment where I was and I noticed the slight contraction in my lower abdomen I was also aware I was having cellular memory from the past lifetime when I was pregnant with the soul that is/was my business partner in this lifetime. Throughout the week I was experiencing this looping back and forth of then and now, here and there, same and not same. And remembering to simply inquire of myself, “Is anything other than?”

On Monday after I got home from the retreat John and Stacey and I visited our previous home on Lincoln Avenue. The new owners are the daughter and son-in-law of our neighbors. They have done MAJOR renovations. They moved the basement stairs and turned Stacey’s former bedroom into a walk-in closet with in-room-laundry. They added an out door pavilion. Saying all of this I have not even hinted at the magnitude of the changes.

It was spooky to see how many of the things we had actually contemplated doing at some point during the 40 years we lived there. They put a sliding glass door out of the kitchen; they turned the former formal living room into a dining room; they put in a huge kitchen island.

As I walked through room after room I could feel the sameness and the difference. “I love the changes you made and I love that you also recognized and preserved the essence of the house.” Wow, that is the intersection of the linear (horizontal) and vertical paths…. It is like living in these bodies knowing they are temporary without denying birth is not the beginning and death is not the end.

I mentioned having a strong sensation of my week as a Bardo preview. Bardo is the Tibetan term for the intermediate state or gap we experience when we leave this physical body. Most teachers see that cultural differences and personal idiosyncrasies generate a variety of experiences, with a common theme of some fort of life review. We have an opportunity to integrate our learning and balance any unfinished business or unwholesome karma. Medical evidence suggests this is a result of the brain firing as it is going off line.

What truly excites me is the option to open our heart and mind to see it is a beautiful world as we walk this path while we still have these bodies. Awareness is the key.

Some people go to the dentist in fear and dread every time. As I key these words in I am developing awareness that this is my path beyond fear of medical things. I know fully that the anxiety had its origin in my mother’s central nervous system while I was in her womb and she was filled with rage, sadness,feelings of betrayal, concern, embarrassment, and fear. Many of my readers know my birth story. My mother discovered she was pregnant and that she had syphilis at the same time. Both were a gift from my father…. Then having been diagnosed with and treated for polio at age five resulted in lots of trauma.

While that was then and this is now, “now” and “then” do not actually exist independently, they exist interdependently. The beauty is your eyes and heart being open enough to see. Following the retreat, I sent the YouTube video of Les Crane singing Desiderata to my dharma sister co-hosting the retreat.

You are a child of the universe.
No less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
Keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.

Desiderata: Les Crane

Yes, it is a very beautiful world within and without….

June 17, 2023
Karma and Forgiveness

We crave that deep place within
that cannot be touched by the ups and downs of life,
but rather just IS – connected and whole.

~ Katie Rubinstein

For well over twenty years I have been working with a Karmic stream from a lucid past life. I will tell it like a fictional story so you will be able to hear the truth and make good use of the wisdom and compassion without needing to believe or disbelieve any details. For ease in writing I shall write it the way I experience it, which is in first person.

The best stories begin with long, long ago in a far-away place I was born as a female to parents who were the beloved and trusted leaders in a utopian walled village. I was one with all of nature; able to speak and understand the birds and animals and revered by all in our community. Although I was born a female, I was announced as a male to avoid instability in the face of no heir. It was a truly blissful existence… until I was approaching puberty.

Overhearing my parents discussing the dilemma that soon my body would betray us and violence was sure to occur, I ran away thinking that my being there was the problem so running away would be the solution. All delusion is that misguided, and this was a slippery slope for sure.

I was befriended by a man who cared greatly for me as the son of the leaders but as time passed it became obvious I was a female, and his love became corrupt. He forced himself on me, resulting in my becoming pregnant. I was so frightened and ignorant and unhappy, and he was so frightened that I would run away he incarcerated me. I could not see or hear the birds and animals. I was bereft.

Peeling a large sliver from the wooden tray he left food for me on, I dug into my wrist, bleeding to death, ending my life and the life of the fetus within me. That unborn one has been my business partner for over twenty years in this life, and the man who had kept me was my business partner’s wife in this lifetime. She loved me so much, but she was not happy with his continuing to work as she was retired and wanted him to retire. Soon after he and I formed a legal partnership and it was obvious he was not only not going to retire but would also be doing a large amount of consulting work with me, she moved out of state saying, “I will see you when I see you.” They were eventually divorced.

“A retreat is best served when you acknowledge your awakeness yet know it is not fully realized yet.”

“There is both wholesome and unwholesome karma. The intention is to go beyond karma.”

“See it as the perfect unfolding of karma…. see the innate perfection everywhere…. you have a portion of it and a responsibility to release that portion for all beings. None of this can happen without intention.”

“For every human there is wholesome karma regardless of how deeply mired in negativity.”

“Each being that looks at unwholesome karma with forgiveness and love is living the intention and brings forth high vibration and love and to heal the whole earth.”

My nighttime dreams and my meditations were filled with painful memories related to this karmic stream. Lucid. Vibrant. Complete with body sensations, smells, sights and sounds.

On Wednesday during the sitting following Darshan with The Mother, as channeled by Barbara Brodsky, I experienced clear seeing of how “saying no with love” could have made space for less pain and suffering for everyone. I heard my former self speak from total love, compassion, and wisdom.

“I am a child. I am very broken hearted, enough so that I do not want to live. If I die, so will your child. You took my body which was not freely given. Please let me go free. Do not force yourself on me again. I cannot promise that I will come to love you in that way, but I will live so your beloved child may also live. Will you at least try?”

Thursday evening’s Dharma talk by John Orr was on faith. John quoted Thomas Merton as having said that faith begins when prayer becomes impossible and the heart has changed to stone. I know that feeling related to this karmic stream….

I see Nuthatch as I open my eyes and I look up the spiritual meaning.

When Nuthatch flutters into your awareness, it brings a message of keeping the faith and trusting what you know within, even if you can’t see it wiht your natural eyes.

As I close my eyes during the final sitting of the day I hear, “You can’t go back, Dear One. Your heart is seeking to find freedom here now.”

I sit through floods of torturous memories during meditation but this time I am able to see it all as more being purified. My intent is to lay it all down….

Parallel to all of this inner journey, I have had a yeast flare. Such intense vaginal itching I could not sleep. The probable mental cause of candida according to Louise Hay is feeling very scattered. (As the retreat opened I was so scattered Sivia had to take over the hosting duties.) Lots of frustration and anger and untrusting in relationships. (Oh, yes, very familiar….) The affirmation to clear this pattern is beautifully simple: “I give myself permission to be all that I can be, and I deserve the very best in life. I love and appreciate myself and others.”

“We have to be respectful of the pain the forgiveness is to release.”

“Forcing forgiveness is another way of not forgiving ourselves.”

“When we stop separating ourselves from others, it becomes THE PAIN, and compassion comes. With compassion there is no need for forgiveness.”

Never put anyone out of your heart. ~ Maharshi

I feel such gratitude for the yeast!

“We don’t have to attain nirvana, because we ourselves are always dwelling in nirvana. The wave does not have to look for the water. It already is water. We are one with the ground of our being. Once the wave realizes that she is water all her fear vanishes.” ~ Thich Nhat Hahn

June 12, 2023
Walking Each Other Home

“…we might almost say silence is the tribute we pay to holiness; we slip off words when we enter a sacred space, just as we slip off shoes. A ‘moment of silence’ is the highest honor we can pay someone; it is the point at which the mind stops and something else takes over (words run out when feelings rush in).” ~ Pico Iyer

A few days ago as I was riding my bike, I stopped to pick up a Coke can. I give them to friends who let their grandson take them back for the deposit. In Michigan that is ten cents per can or bottle (carbonated or alcoholic beverages). It was an oversight to not include water or juices.

Just a bit further on the ride when I did not stop to pick up a Gatorade bottle I felt a twinge. As I rode past the second non-deposit bottle I heard a voice inside say, “So, is it that you are concerned for and care for the planet, or are you just interested in the dime?” Wondering how familiar the average person is with that level of awareness of thought, feeling, impulse or insight.

The following day I came home with two non-deposit bottles and one ten-cent can.

This past week I was Zoom host for an online forum called Dying and Death: A Conversation. I hope many of you will have an opportunity to read the transcript when it is available, if you are interested. Some of the teachings were related to Buddhism, but even those which are specific to that path are relevant to any human being. I think you will easily see what I mean by taking a quick look at “Subjects for Contemplation” (or five facts that one should reflect on often, whether one is a woman or a man, lay or ordained).

1. I am subject to aging, have not gone beyond aging.
2. I am subject to illness, have not gone beyond illness.
3. I am subject to death, have not gone beyond death.
4. I will grow different, separate from all that is dear and appealing to me.
5. I am the owner of my actions,
heir to my actions,
born of my actions,
related through my actions,
and have my actions as my arbitrator.
Whatever I do, for good or for evil, to that will I fall heir.

Think about how familiar number 5 is to all of us. As ye sow, so shall ye reap. What goes around comes around. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Yes, terms are for sure more conditioned to specific beliefs or traditions, but it is easy to see the universal meaning. The last question in the Q&A time was whether the term ‘our eternal soul that was created by the Divine from the beginning and is ongoing’ is the same as “our true essence’ which was used often by the facilitators.

Barbara Brodsky clarified that we are not ‘created’ but expressions of the divine. “We are that, otherwise there is duality. If we are not the divine (however we name that) but the Divine is out there and created us there is duality.” Arron says his experience is that there is no duality and we are all expressions. He uses the sun and the sunbeams as an example. The sunbeams are not created – the sun beams are the sun.

Interesting for sure that this was the last question. It certainly makes the point.

During the upcoming live-streaming retreat (June 3-1)) I will be staying in the efficiency apartment at the new home of my dear friends, Delcy and Tom Kulhman, who owned and operated Still Waters Retreat House for decades. I was a frequent guest at Still Waters during that time and this will be the first opportunity since October 2019 to have solitude during a retreat. Stacey will be visiting John during my time away. I know they will have a great time. They always do. And I will be a little envious and a lot grateful.

This morning I opened email from a friend and read this daily thought with the heading: “Taking a time-out will benefit everyone.” It went on to say, “Reacting too quickly to any situation, grave or mundane, can lead us astray. Only by pausing first to hear God’s suggestion can we be certain of doing the right thing or saying what’s best. Somebody has to be willing to back away from an ugly conflict, or it can turn violent. Let’s be the ones.” This reminder came from the book, A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance rings so true.

The deepest work of my heart at this time is softening around judgment and comparison. My aspiration is to be more legitimate with the commitment to care for and about the planet without feeling like others who do not recycle or choose to use disposables without thought to the environment are somehow making a wrong choice.

John Orr spoke of a friend from his youth who has expressed some fear of an “eternal” judgment following death. Here is John’s precious reply to his friend:

I said to my friend, ‘Nobody’s going to judge you but yourself’. The judgment, any judgment that’s going to be happening is going to be happening within your own mind. And we have the opportunity to look at that judgment of ourselves, judgments of others, in our practice. And if we work with this, if we work with judgment in the judging mind now, in this lifetime, and see that a lot of that judgment comes from our fear, comes from our negativity, especially negativity and hatred towards the self. Judgment comes from the memories of unskillful things that we have done, or the feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy, these different habit pattern energies we experience in being human.
~ John Orr, Dying and Death: A Conversation, May 20, 2023

Oh, yes, Ram Dass is so right. We are all just walking each other home….

May 24, 2023
Birds at Oakwood
The 8-day silent meditation retreat will take more than one Yellow Brick Road to share with readers. Day One included 22-month old, Jackson, our great grandson, being air-lifted from the hospital in Chattanooga to Vanderbilt after he had a seizure in the parking garage following discharge.

Day Eight is complete with nurse Linda diagnosing the rash I have been plagued with all week as likely a yeast infection. I will spare you photos of that, but more about both of these strong catalysts are sure to appear at a later date….

Birds were an active part of my inner process this past week, so I will share with you their respective totem meanings in the order of their appearance:

1. Chickadee Meaning

Lots of Chickadees were in the grasses out back when I went for a short walk on dinner break of the Deep Spring Center Oakwood-at-home retreat with Barbara Brodsky and John Orr, and a host of spirit friends, as well as dharma sisters and brothers.

People with the chickadee totem animal are fiercely protective of their “flock.” This manifests itself as vigilance which can at times become excessive. It is crucial that people with this totem animal learn to recognize the difference between healthy caution and anxiety.

Chickadee tells you to be cheerful and hold your head up in all situations. You can transform your life and dictate your outcomes by thinking positively.

Click to hear the Chickadee.

2. Swan Meaning

Each day I would choose a “touch” stone. I held the swan rose quartz on Monday.

You become aware of your own inner beauty. You also unfold the ability to bridge to other realms and powers. The swan medicine helps you see the beauty of yourself as well as of others despite outer appearances. And that ability makes you like a ‘magnet’ that draws other people to you.

3. Woodpecker Meaning

The woodpecker teaches us to look beneath the surface of things and to open up our minds to the hidden meanings, lessons, and opportunities that life on earth has to offer.

4. Blue Jay Meaning

Blue Jays relate to everything from strength to confidence to communication, depending on the context in which you see them. For some, these birds have the reputation of being loud, aggressive, and mean. However, certain cultures see them as lucky or a symbol of good things to come.

5. Crow Meaning

Crows show up to let you know that there are spiritual shifts happening around you and remind you to pay attention to the spiritual messages that are sent to guide you. They represent transformation, cycles, psychic tools, and insight into unseen realms. Crows are problem solvers and can help you tune into a solution when you are faced with a challenge.

6. Sparrow Meaning

As the carillon at Pilgrim UCC church on the corner nearby began playing, the Sparrows in the shrub just outside my window began to sing right along! I noted in my retreat journal that this was happening, and clearly I heard in my mind, “Would you miss my sweet song just because I’m so ordinary?”

Surprising Sparrow facts.

The sparrow totem animal is connected with unity, selflessness, and integrity. People with the sparrow as their totem tend to be great team players…

The House Sparrow (Passer domesticus) is, in fact, one of the most common and widespread animals on this planet. Although our familiarity with these birds often desensitizes us to their beauty, these common birds are no less fascinating and beautiful.

Sacred to the goddess Aphrodite of the Greek pantheon, to Vishnu in Hindu mythology, and both Branwen and Rhiannon in Welsh mythology, the sparrow’s common nature has earned it a place in cultural traditions around the world.

7. Blue Grosbeak Meaning

Okay, the Blue Grosbeak sighting was in the wonderful article by my friend, Hart Rufe. His article posted on November 1, but I just saw it today after the end of the retreat. You can access the column at: https://www.stlucieaudubon.org/hart-beat-2022. New with this column is access to all past columns right in the top of the current page

Symbolic of many things, including faith, adaptability, romance, and good news; the grosbeak is an endless source of wisdom. Like all birds, grosbeaks teach us to appreciate the beauty and blessings of the natural world. Different grosbeak colors have different symbolic meanings. Rose feathers symbolize emotions and they tell you to find a heart song that will heal your pain. Blue and green feathers signify abundance, fortune, harmony, and the possibility of a wedding.

It is my sacred intention for that wedding to be a union of each human being with the higher self. May the benefits of this retreat be a blessing to all beings.

Thank you, Claudia Mierau, for sharing this beautiful poem from the book, Go In and In, by Danna Faulds.
November 5, 2022
The One Heart We All Share

I just attended a 3-day Vipassana retreat with Barbara Brodsky, Aaron, and John Orr, “The One Heart We All Share.” This was the online description:

What is this one heart we all share? It is our true nature, the essence of our being, which is love and light. Meditation is one effective way of coming to know this inner light of our divinity that is infused with love and pervades everything. Once we come to know our true nature, we develop, through practice, the ability to rest in it more stably. Then we can live more continuously from this heart of wisdom, love and compassion and truly come to know it as the One Heart we all share.

I have previously mentioned the saying, “For those who understand no explanation is necessary. For those who do not understand no explanation is possible.”

Some research indicates the saying came from Thomas Aquinas. Saint Thomas Aquinas believed that the existence of God could be proven in five ways, mainly by:
1) observing movement in the world as proof of God, the “Immovable Mover”;
2) observing cause and effect and identifying God as the cause of everything;
3) concluding that the impermanent nature of beings proves the existence of God.

The original quote was not about ‘understanding’ but about religious belief, specifically “faith.” The original quote is, “To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.”

It is amazing to me how perspective differs, but what is does not. For example, this cartoon that Linda B/G shared recently.

At the retreat, the teachers spoke about the nature of karma.

I remember the nature of karma;

I am born of karma, I am heir to karma, I abide in karma, and I am supported by karma.

When I act with intention, I am the owner of my actions and inherit their results.

My future is born from such actions, and their results will be my home.

All actions with intention, be they skillful or harmful, of such acts will I be the heir.

While karma is not a term used in Christianity, it is certainly there in Galatians, Chapter 6, Verse 7: “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.”

One of the mystical experiences common to retreat for me, regardless of the theme, is that I will have a foreshadowing of a teaching point to come. I will write in my journal an insight, then hear the teacher/s speak that to the group.

Sharing (with permission) the words of one student:

In all the years I had been practicing, it was suddenly like, “Oh, oh….” because I was in that place.

I realized grief isn’t just an intense feeling, it is actually a REALM. I was in this place, and it wasn’t here and it wasn’t the other side. I was somewhere in between and this portal kept opening up, and when it did my heart would just explode out.

I knew, too, that the process of grief for me was a rite of passage, it was something that was changing me.

In our culture, we are encouraged to sort of get over grief and get back to our lives. That this is a measure of our mental health – how fast you can get back as if nothing has happened. I knew intuitively that this was just nonsense. That I did not want to be the same person I was before my father died. I wanted to be different in the world going forward after that.

This student and you and I, like Mary Reed, are likely becoming unwitting mystics…

In a recent interview Mary Reed was asked to name three things she wished everyone could experience before we die. The interviewer did a short animation video of her response, which added a fun, unexpected dimension to Mary’s answer. See: Three Things to Be Experienced Before We Die

The first day of the retreat was the 49th day since Jerry Basham passed. In Buddhism, we chant that person’s name along with gate, gate, paragate, parasamgate, Bodhi Svaha! Gone, Gone, to the other shore, the shore of liberation.

When I came out of silence and caught up on messages and social media, my sister-in-law had posted this:

Your Loved One in Heaven
by Sean Dietrich

Hi. This is your late loved one speaking. I don’t have long, so listen up because I have a lot I want to tell you.

First off, I get it.

Ever since I left this world you have missed me, and I know you’re bracing for the holidays without me. No matter what anyone says, this year’s festivities are going to be really tough.

In fact, let’s be honest, this festive season will probably suck pondwater. But then, Thanksgiving and Christmas are tough holidays for a lot of people. You’re not alone.

See, the misconception about the holidays is that they are one big party. That’s what every song on the radio claims. Each television commercial you see shows happy families clad in gaudy Old Navy sweaters, carving up poultry, smiling their perfect Hollywood teeth at the camera. But that’s not exactly reality.

In reality, fifty-eight percent of Americans admit to feeling severely depressed and anxious during November and December. In reality many folks will cry throughout the “most wonderful time of the year.”

Well, guess what? Nobody is crying up here in heaven. This place is unreal. There is, literally, too much beauty to take in. Way too much.

For starters—get this—time doesn’t even exist anymore. Which I’m still getting used to.

Right now, for all I know, the calendar year down on Earth could be 1728, 4045, 1991, or 12 BC. It really wouldn’t matter up here. This is a realm where there is no ticking clock, no schedule. Up here there is only this present moment. This. Here. Now. That’s all there has ever been. And there is real comfort in this.

I know this all seems hard to grasp, but if you were here you’d get it.

Also, for the first time I’m pain free. I feel like a teenager again in my body. You probably don’t realize how long I’ve lived with pain because I never talked about it, I kept my problems to myself because I was your loved one, and you needed me to be brave.

But pain is a devious thing. It creeps up on even the strongest person, little by little, bit by bit. Until pretty soon, pain becomes a central feature of life.

Sometimes my pain would get so bad it was all I thought about. No, I’m not saying that my life was miserable—far from it. I loved being on earth. It’s just that simply waking up each morning was getting exhausting.

But, you know what? Not anymore. In this new place, I am wholly and thoroughly happy.

But enough about me. I don’t have room to describe all the terrific things I’m experiencing, and you don’t need to hear them. Right now, you’re grieving, and what you need is a hug.

Which is why I’m writing to you. This is my hug to you. Because you’ve lost sight of me. And in fact, you’ve lost sight of several important things lately.

Death has a way of blinding us. It reorganizes the way you think, it changes you. You will never be the same after you lose someone. It messes with your inner physiology. It reorganizes you’re neurons.

But then, there’s one teensy little thing you’re forgetting:

I’m still around.

Yes, you read that correctly, I’m right here with you. No, you can’t see me. No, you can’t reach out and hold me. But did you know that one of the things I’m allowed to do as a heavenly being is hang out with you?

It’s true. I’m never far away. I’m in the room with you now, along with a big cloud of ancestors, saints, and witnesses. I’m shooting the breeze alongside you, watching you live your life, watching you raise your kids, watching your private moments of sorrow.

Here, in this new realm, I am in the perfect position to help you learn things. Which is what I vow to spend the rest of your earthly life doing, teaching you little lessons, lending you a hand when you least expect it, and desperately trying to make you smile. Actually, I’ve already been doing this stuff, you just don’t realize it.

What, you don’t believe me?

Well, wake up, pal. You know that tingle you get in your spine whenever you think of me? That’s me.

You know how, just yesterday, you had a beautiful memory when you were driving and it made you cry so hard that it actually felt good and you began to laugh through tears? Also me.

You know how sometimes when you’re all alone, preoccupied with something else, suddenly you get this faint feeling that someone is standing in the room with you? Hello? Me.

You’re not alone on this earth. You never were. You never will be. So during this holiday season, when cheerful families are getting together and making merry, and taking shots of eggnog, I’m going to be clinging to your shoulder, helping you muddle through somehow.

I’ll be making your spinal column tingle a lot, and I’ll be sending plenty of signs. Each of these signs—every single one—is code for “I love you.” So start paying attention to these hints.

Because this was one.

Well said, Sean. The one heart we all share….

November 15, 2021