Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: Aaron

Let it Shine!
We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.

~ Pema Chödrön

This week’s Oakwood Retreat has been very intense. Staying at home for retreat has some benefits. You don’t have the expense of lodging or travel time, and you get to sleep in your own bed. Like all of life, though, everything holds its opposite.

The morning instruction on working skillfully with distortion and heavy emotions was soooooo relevant…

I have had one of the decidedly most unskillful weeks I have had for decades. When you are sitting in meditation for 6-8 hours, day after day, stuff will come up. The catalyst for my stuff was the (hopefully) last of the work to complete home repair related to the mold remediation. But vital to realize the catalyst (whatever the catalyst) is not the distortion. The distortion is how we relate to the what is triggering us.

On one walk, I saw two crickets. On another, about a half dozen earth worms. Twice I had a red-bellied woodpecker hanging right on my window! Every day that shrub is filled with the comings and goings of sparrows. But one morning I heard a disturbance, opened my eyes and saw that a hawk was actually in the middle of the shrub. I had six Blue Jays at the feeder one morning, and this morning I had four big crows.

Cricket totem: A sign of good luck in many cultures, cricket symbolizes initiative and intelligence, and having the gift of foresight.

Earthworm totem: Working old ground; examining the past and its effects upon present conditions; including exploring past lives.

Sparrow totem: Integrity, empowerment, persistence, hard work, peace and wisdom. Guides us to learn to work hard with all.

Woodpecker totem: The power of rhythm. Discrimination. Connected to the heartbeat of Mother Earth herself. Symbolizes the stimulation and awakening of new mental faculties. New ways to look at things — new wisdom and new rhythms to dance to.

Hawk totem: Represents focus, strength, and poise, and can show you your hidden abilities to lead yourself and others to a more positive outcome.

Blue Jay totem: Symbolized by assertiveness, determination, and above all, intelligence.

Crow totem: Watchful creatures with sharp and powerful foresight. An omen of transformation and change.

When you go on retreat, you practice noble silence. This does not just mean not talking. You are excused from any of the normal social politeness. No small talk, no anticipating others needs, no distracting yourself with discursive thought. You see clearly the weeds in your own garden. So I wrote a poem.
During the final sitting, my mind went back to some trauma I experienced while traveling to Europe in 2011 — this exact same week! Mind was churning trying to remember the details. What was the name of the country where I had gone to the exotic gardens? Thinking, grasping, trying to remember until I let my mind soften, like taking a step back, and simply intended access to the information. Pop! Monaco….

This is not a new lesson for me. I remember leaving the house a bit late with my earrings in my hand. Pulling up to the stop sign, the left earring slipped in but I could not find the hole in my right ear. The next stop sign, I tried again. Again without success. At the third stop sign I asked for help. Pop! The earring went right in and I heard a voice say, “We would have helped at the first stop sign if you had asked.”

I have wired lamps, lifted heavy objects, remembered things, found things, and received guidance regularly for a very long time. Our teacher, Aaron, was speaking of how the mundane mind can be very helpful to orchestrate some tasks. One student asked Aaron if he uses Barbara Brodsky’s mundane mind for working with the technology. Aaron replied, “No, I just invite the computer to co-create with me.”

The current conditions are chaotic. We need all the co-creation with spirit we can access. As Aaron said, “How can I save anyone if I can’t save myself?”

This week I saw a quotation by Thich Nhat Hanh: “The next Buddha may be a sangha.”

It definitely took a sangha to offer this wonderful week of focused dharma practice. Sharing a few notes from my journal:

You have come as midwives. You can be the midwife who is there in the room being calm or the one running around the room saying, “It isn’t coming quickly enough!”

Be with things as they are. Not stoically, but lovingly. Liberation means walking on the unstable ground and finding your own balance.

Allow the practice to ground us in the innate perfection without denial of the conditions.

Say, “I consecrate this effort to the good of all beings.”

Each time you are able to offer kindness in a difficult condition, it changes the world around you.

One day when we sang “This Little Light of Mine” the teacher said it is really a great big light, so I wrote new words to the tune:

This GREAT Big Light of Mine
(sing it to the tune of This Little Light of Mine)

This GREAT BIG light of mine
I’m gonna let it shine
This GREAT BIG light of mine
This light is divine
This GREAT BIG light of mine
Isn’t even really mine
Let it shine, let it shine, let it

Let it shine around your town
We can let it shine
We have help, we’re not alone
Please just let it shine
Let it shine when fear appears
We can let it shine
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine
October 10, 2020
All Roads Lead to Somewhere
The headline: The first debate between President Donald Trump and Democratic challenger Joe Biden deteriorated into a bitter showdown …

It would be so easy for me to pass judgment about how unskillful bitter exchanges are were it not for the fact that I had just let myself get triggered by a friend I care for very deeply.

We knew we had only a few minutes to talk before I was to be online for meditation, so in those few minutes she got to the heart of the matter for her: “I feel betrayed.” This was not the first time I had heard her express these same words about her boss over the years. But on this day I had an expectation for something else.

When I argue with reality, I lose —
but only 100 percent of the time.
~ Byron Katie

All suffering is essentially wanting something other than what is.

The following morning I was still watching the subtle contractions with my friend when I said, “All roads lead to Rome,” and she responded, “I don’t know about that, but all roads lead somewhere.”

The saying that all roads lead to Rome was reality in the days of the Roman Empire. All the empire’s roads radiated out from the capital city, Rome. Commonly, the saying now often means all the methods of doing something will achieve the same result in the end.

Whether Trump or Biden wins the Presidential election, “Election Day” will take place on the last day of Mercury’s last period of retrograde motion in 2020! (This one lasts from October 14 to November 3.)

According to the age-old practice of astrology, we are all influenced by the effect of Mercury in retrograde. This from The Old Farmer’s Almanac: Mercury Retrograde Dates in 2020:

Review projects and plans at these times, but wait until Mercury is direct again to make any final decisions. You can’t stop your life, but plan ahead, have back-up plans, and be prepared for angrier people and miscommunication.

Some people blame Mercury retrograde for “bad” things that happen in their lives. Instead, this is a good time to sit back and review where you put your energy in your life.

The Deep Spring Center Thought for Today addresses this, too:
I drew a couple of Osho cards, inviting balance. Key words from the first: “It is a time when you are ready to let go of any expectations you have had about yourself or other people, and to take responsibility for any illusions you might have been carrying.”

Key words from the second: “He has no private goals, no desire that everything should be other than the way it is.”

Oh, my.

I guess all roads do lead somewhere…
October 1, 2020
New Frontiers
Today, it is this beautiful planet we call home that calls us home to our hearts. We are being asked to plant seeds of wisdom and love. I told John today one could consider if you are hearing or reading something that is stating who or what was or is to blame about anything, to please just consider this: Anyone can win the game of Monday-Morning-Quarterbacking. It is the coaching before and during the game that makes the difference.

I have been patient (mostly) with the world around me. While not first in THE world, I was first in my world to not allow smoking in my home. While not first in THE world, I was first in my world to save things believing they would some day be recycled.

I have been asking John for years to consider a more environmentally friendly yard. It makes little sense to spend time, energy, and money to kill what flourishes naturally, then invest more to plant things that cost even more to be fed and watered to survive and contribute little to myriad species called nature.

But we are where we are: we are where wild fires rage and tropical storms blow: too much or too little wind or rain. The following powerful excerpt is from the Seattle retreat in the fall of 2019 (reviewed and with some additions and edits on 09-14-20). It was just posted on the Deep Spring Meditation Center Facebook page, and it is so timely.

Aaron: These fires in California deeply concern me, not just for the immediate damage they are doing, burning people’s homes and so forth — although it is sad that people are losing their homes, their livelihood, even and especially their lives — but for what it’s doing to the energetic and spiritual environment. To me, if people choose to live in an area where there will be a likelihood of such fires, they know that this can happen to them. But the trees did not thusly choose. Well, yes, the trees agreed to grow there, but they agreed to grow there not to be burned away but to help support a wholesome environment.

They agreed to grow there with no foreknowledge of man’s thoughtlessness of the environment. It was a possibility but not yet a fact. The earth is ancient and the short-lived choices of mankind are more recent. And so, the Earth is getting a different message. Trees and other vegetable life are beginning to say, “Maybe it’s not safe to be here on the Earth. We are not cherished as we need to be in order to flourish. Maybe it’s time for us to shift ourselves to some other kind of evolutionary space where we may evolve with love.” Such a shift or even thought to shift is going to further downgrade the Earth’s environment. Just as man destroys the environment for certain animal species, he can destroy it for trees, and even for the elements themselves.

Once these fires are under control and out, I’d like to see large teams of people going into the woods, into the charred roads, thanking the earth, thanking the trees, and planting seedlings. With a strong commitment, speaking to the seedlings; speaking to each from their heart, “Thank you for making a new attempt to grow here. We will try very hard to cherish you, to take care of you and the environment in which you grow.”

It is not only our planet that is suffering. Our emotional bodies are going through these turbulent times as well. After the wildfires of anger and jealousy, fear and disdain, it is imperative we are willing to plant seedlings of forgiveness, wisdom, kindness and compassion.

One morning after we finished (virtually) sitting together in meditation, I shared a deep and precious conversation with Bob. Bob mentioned “A Course of Love”, describing it as sort of like the sequel to A Course in Miracles. “There are several chapters you can read for free,” he said.

ACIM was one of the bridges over troubled water when my spirituality out-grew the religion of Christianity in which I had met and committed my life to Jesus.

From Chapter 14: New Frontiers Beyond the Body and Mind, Form and Time, A Course of Love – The Dialogues:

What might this situation look like if I forgot everything I have previously known about similar situations, and looked at this in a new way?

Do I really need to worry about this situation, or can I affect this situation simply by not worrying about it and allowing it to be and unfold as it will?

While I realize that the facts would tell me this or that is true, I wonder what would happen if I disregarded the facts and was open to this being something else?

There is so much to disregard. Our old habits, thoughts, beliefs and actions are being invited to surrender. In The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency Melody Beattie affirms: “We relinquish our tight hold and our need to control in our relationships. We take responsibility for ourselves; we allow others to do the same. We detach with the understanding that life is unfolding exactly as it needs to, for others and ourselves. The way life unfolds is good, even when it hurts. And ultimately, we can benefit from even the most difficult situations. We do this with the understanding that a Power greater than ourselves is in charge, and all is well.”

I whisper to all sentient beings that we will do our best. We are able to cherish life and summon that vital awareness that pervades all realms of our being into new frontiers….
September 16, 2020
What Are You Doing Today?

The farmer may only be planting a seed,
but if he opens his eyes
he is feeding the whole world.
~ Omaha Bee

This opening quotation kicked off a precious story about a three-person construction crew who was approached by a man asking what each was doing. The first said he was working for pittance and was getting tired, the second said he was laying concrete, the third (a woman, in the version I read) said, “I am building a hospital where people will receive needed medical care and many lives will be saved.”

The man responded, “Yes… You are building my hospital.”

The man was the benefactor, and he made the woman head over the entire project.

I don’t know if this story actually happened as it is written, but the essence of this story is happening all over the planet at every moment as we are either working for a pittance, laying concrete, or saving lives.

What are you doing today?

Deep Spring Center
Thought for Today

You ask why there seem to be increasing obstacles. If you’re muddling around thinking about being more loving and caring and connected in your lives but not really doing much about it, negative polarity can relax. They see you’re not really getting anywhere. Since WWII, there has been a tremendous move toward positive polarity in the world. Many old souls are coming into birth, especially in the past 30 years. Here are many beings really intent on finding a way to live with love in the world rather than with an ‘eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth’ doctrine. Negative polarity looks around and says, ‘What’s happening? This is getting out of hand! Look how loving they’re becoming. Let’s toss in some opposition here.’ ~ Aaron

Deep Spring has a new blog! Here is a link to the first post: The Vibration of Love is Protection from COVID-19

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August 24, 2020
When Everything Falls Apart, What Remains?
I am technically practicing silence in a meditation retreat at Heartwood Refuge and Retreat Center in Hendersonville, North Carolina. But I am attending via Zoom and my fingers are on the keyboard. The focus of this retreat with John Orr is When Everything Falls Apart, What Remains? This was John’s blurb about the retreat:
On Wednesday afternoon before the retreat began, I had yet another tender conversation with our daughter about our diverse approach to precautions related to this virus. We did not argue, but we make very different choices. A few hours later, during the opening introductions, I received news from a good friend–also attending via Zoom–that she was not feeling well. Here is the rest of the story, posted on Facebook a few moments ago in response to another friend, Kate:

Kate posted:
I feel like I’m one of the few people still practicing social distancing, and sheltering in place. FB is full of pics of people out to restaurants, at pools and beaches or sharing space with relatives they haven’t seen in awhile. I would love to see our kids but I can’t guarantee I’m not infected nor can they. Am I just over sensitive to this?

I responded to Kate:
Kate, THANK YOU! I could have written this post. Today I would add that another friend, thinking the same way you and I have been thinking, relented and got together with her family.

Her adult children drove in from out of state, each household traveling in separate vehicles, taking proper precautions along way.

Each household brought a tent. My friend rented a party-potty and set up an outdoor kitchen. My friend’s family did not enter her house, and when the family went hiking each family drove in his/her own car. They maintained social distance along the trail.

Shortly after they arrived, her daughter’s partner received a call from work that his colleague had tested positive. He got in their vehicle and drove to the nearest location and had a Covid test.

Of course the results from his test didn’t come back until AFTER he was already back home, and not until AFTER he was already symptomatic. His test came back positive.

On Wednesday evening, gathered via Zoom, my friend reported that she had a “wicked cold” and had gone to get a Covid test. She would know in a week.

Yesterday, she sent a private message via Zoom chat, “I tested positive. I have COVID.”

Even the precautions level that you and I are committed to, may not be enough….

Kate, keep teaching by example! So much to learn from this.

❤️🙏🏼🦋

Deep Spring Center
Thought for Today

It is not the teacher who is the authority; it is the dharma that is the authority. It is sati, mindful presence, which is the authority. It is awareness, which is the authority. It is the deeply loving and open heart that is the authority. It is the Ground of Being, the divine essence of each, which is the authority. The teacher who has done his or her work, understands the practice and has developed a depth of realization of how things are, has no need to be the authority to another, but is willing to offer what he or she knows with a certainty, offering it for the guidance of others, but with no need to say, ‘This is it!’ If it really is it, others will discover that through their own practice. ~ Aaron
August 16, 2020
My Longings

“Strive to be uncynical,
to be a hope-giving force,
to be a steward of substance.”
~ Maria Popova
Bulgarian-born, American-based writer

Last evening as we finished dominoes via Zoom, I asked what the most significant news of the day was. My friend said probably that the Trump administration ordered hospitals to bypass the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and send all COVID-19 patient information to a central database in Washington, meaning that the CDC was no longer going to have access to the real-time data about the coronavirus.

I had a heavy sensation low in my gut.

I drew the 5 of Clouds, Comparison, from the Osho deck before I went to bed. I sent the message to my friend. “Just look around. All is needed, and everything fits together. It is an organic unity; nobody is higher and nobody is lower, nobody superior, nobody inferior. Everybody is incomparably unique.” I slept rather fitfully.

When I woke this morning, I knew I was dreaming again, but these images like the past several dreams of children needing support are gone before my feet hit the floor.

My mind is very clear, however, about the “Say Only” story of the importance of reserving judgment as things are unfolding. I first read this story in The Eye of the Storm by Max Lucado. I have since learned that it predates Lucado and Christianity, and is still true….

Perhaps President Trump will be able to report data so that those who have discounted the gravity of the virus and been defiant about protective measures will be able to tolerate (hear) the truth from someone they trust.

I must begin by calling forth my own trust and calling forth his higher guidance.

I looked back over several recent Daily Quotes from Aaron:

July 8, 2020
When enough of you are ready to hold the real vision of a world at peace, where beings do not manipulate, steal, kill or otherwise harm each other, the capacity to hold that vision will emerge in world leaders. You will call them forth. They do not lead you so much as you invite them! The effective leader can only walk where some are ready to follow.

July 13, 2020
Bring into your heart and mind the president of this country and others who help to guide him as he makes his decisions. He has a difficult job. You may not agree with his decisions. But certainly you will agree that in his deepest heart, he hopes that his choices for this country will bring peace in the long run if not sooner. This is a man under enormous pressure and he needs your loving wishes even if you say no to his choices. ‘As you strive to guide this nation, may your heart remain open to love and as free as is possible from fear. May you be happy and find peace.’

July 14, 2020
You are ready to take this step, ready not only to be awakened but to help the whole Earth awaken, each of you in your own way. I’m not suggesting you’re all going to be like the Buddha, with his path. Your way of awakening the Earth may simply to be to plant an enlightened garden, a garden of plants that you co-create rather than order around. How do we co-create with the Earth? How do we co-create with each other? How do we use our power and unlimitedness in ways that do no harm?

July 15, 2020
You as a world are inviting conflict but then not doing the needed practice with it, so you must invite it again and again. You are like the child in school doing endless multiplication table drills; they are unpleasant but you have not studied the tables, and will not, so the teacher repeats the drills. Your inattention calls forth the repetition. If you wish the drills to cease, learn the tables.

Aaron’s daily quotes are not selected. The quotes were placed into an archive, and each day one is randomly generated. Some quotes may have never been published, some pop up with regularity, and I have seen some publish two days in a row. Aaron himself established this random generation as a condition when the Daily Quotes began to be shared.

The impact of the coronavirus, and the divisiveness of of sisters and brothers is unpleasant. Wish the drills to cease; learn the tables.

Sue Monk Kidd’s novel, The Book of Longings, is a mesmerizing work of fiction. Ana—a rebellious and gifted young woman of Galilee, meets and marries Jesus. Before their meeting, early in the book, we witness Ana in a clandestine rooftop meeting with her aunt, Yaltha, another unusual woman of the time.

“Do you know what an incantation bowl is?” Yaltha asks Ana. “In Alexandria we women pray with them. We write our most secret prayer inside them. Like this.”

Yaltha places a finger inside the bowl and moves it in a spiraling line around the sides of the bowl. “Every day we sing the prayer. As we do, we turn the bowl in slow circles and the words wriggle to life and spin off toward heaven.”

My most secret prayer has been written into my “incantation bowl” and I will sing this prayer every day: May all beings be happy and find peace; may we awaken wisdom mind; filling the universe with love; joy; kindness; and compassion.

July 18, 2020
Skies Upon Skies

“Skies upon skies are available for your flight.”
– Osho Zen Tarot

I feel a little bit like the morning after Christmas, or the ninth day of Hanukkah. For the closing sharing of this eight-day Intensive/Retreat—the culmination of a two-year commitment to study and practice—I had written: When I logged on this morning, Dallas was the only other one online. I asked him about his virtual image in his background – a waterfall. I showed him a photo of me, also at a waterfall in Maui. We had a lovely visit and I am so glad we shared…

That photo of me at the waterfall is framed and sits on my altar helping me value the dharma path that began long before I knew the word dharma.

I was born in fear and I was living in fear. Not MY fear, but THE fear. My mother was informed that she had syphilis simultaneously with the discovery that she was pregnant. My first trimester in her womb was spent with my mom at a sanatorium being treated. She was angry, embarrassed, afraid….

My alcoholic father had had sex with someone else, and that is how my mother got infected. I knew nothing of this until in my 40s when I began to have awareness of feeling unloved, unsafe, and unwanted. I was a successful professional, happily married, and I had had a good relationship with my mom. Nothing could account for those feelings, but I knew they were there.

I knew I would benefit by uncovering the pain.

In a hypnotic regression to the womb, hearing Les Crane sing Desiderata to me through headphones I had total realization of those feelings. Later I asked my mother if she could help me understand. She told me of the syphilis.

Many of you were there when I shared this as part of “Listen to Your Mother” and it is still available on YouTube.

The fear I lived with, the feelings of not loved, not safe, not wanted arose out of the human condition. I am so grateful to know the truth. Those feeling, any feelings, are not me nor mine.

Instead of sharing all of those words as my closing, I simply shared a series of photos of the sky taken from the window in the guest/room office where I was “on retreat” for those eight days, and where I am now with my fingers on the keyboard, looking at the ever-changing sky:

Aaron’s closing talk was brief and to the point:
You have everything within you
to co-create a future
for the highest good of all beings.
A future where beings are awake,
free of suffering.

Two years ago,
we did not know that
there was going to be
a COVID-19 in our future.

But of course,
there would be something
in our future.

Some challenge.
And you are meeting it with
wisdom and open hearts.

Please do not forget to imagine…
to hold your heart open
and picture an earth free of disease,
free of hatred

—an earth in which
all sentient beings
can truly flourish.
May it be.
May it be so.

June 21, 2020
In-tension or Intention

As you speak, so you see
As you see, so you share
As you share, so you become

I am on retreat, and am living the spirit of the law (rather than the letter of the law) by writing a blog post. This intensive / retreat is the culmination of a two-year “Path of Clear Light” study with Barbara Brodsky and Aaron (and a cast of other enlightened teachers). The past semester has been working with sacred darkness. Groundwork is now being laid for a third year: Co-creating with Spirit. This focus is how we move from being in tension to the intention to invite and allow support. Namely this: How do we INVITE the world as we want it to be? How do we INVITE the expression of the self as we wish it to be?

We were led on a guided meditation and then instructed to take paper and crayons or markers or colored pencils and draw this sacred wish for our being in the world. Most of us in my small group commented on our unskilled artistic abilities. There was no lack of skill in the articulation of our sacred wishes….

I did a doodle process where you place a writing instrument on the page, close your eyes and move it around until guided to stop. Open your eyes and turn the page different directions until you see something come into view. The rules are you can embellish or not, add or not, highlight or not. I like those rules.

After I had completed my drawing, I wrote these notes in my journal: I know I take human form in the world as it is. The big shift is instant manifestation. I see people able to transport via thought, create via thought, destroy via thought. Suddenly, I get a jolt of fear — not trusting human ability to manifest from love and wisdom. I choose the intention to invite and allow release of this fear and I hear, “This is the way.”

The words on my drawing that are featured in the top center of this post were written with my nondominant hand. The words on the right side of the drawing were not.

I am the world around me.

What you give birth to has it’s own independence and free will. (Aaron had said this, but including this one might be influenced by learning that I am going to be a great-grandma.)

Everyone has a double and a mirror opposite. Find yourself.

Life expression is joyous.

In my doodle, I included a small section of a process called Zentangle which I learned from Carol Myers. Those words are: I AM LOVE.

Yesterday and today I have thought of the title of the book “When Women Were Birds: Fifty-Four Variations of Voice” by Terry Tempest Williams. Her mother bequeathed Terry all of her journals, with the promise not to open them until after she had passed. Three shelves of journals were blank….

I opened email this morning to the BK Thought for Today:

No Complaining Zone

If you approach life complaining about what’s missing then you’ll be dissatisfied. Satisfaction comes from knowing things can always be improved but at the same time appreciating what is right in your life right now.

And Aaron’s Daily Quote:

When you say, ‘Thy will be done,’ you’re not saying, ‘I’ll do whatever you want,’ you’re saying, ‘I obey this sacred sound within me, this sacred wisdom and clarity and love. I will listen for that and no matter how quiet it is and no matter how loud ego’s voice is, I will keep coming back to that sacred vibration within the heart. That is the will I will follow and not the voice of the ego.’

Perhaps this new world is simply the sacred vibration of love and clarity in a no complaining zone….

June 16, 2020
A Time for Cherishing

When you are in complete alignment
with your authentic self,
you will attract everything
you desire in life.
~Brahma Kumaris

Last week I heard again the message from Aaron, “If you were not ready, you would not have taken birth at this time…. You did not come to fail…. Are ready to trust your heritage as deeply loving?…. You cannot fully express light until you live in darkness…. You and the earth are inseparable…. Be a lamp until yourselves…. It takes your human vibration to co-create the future earth…. You are ready…. You are not alone.”

I have been living in the darkness. I confess to have been struggling with Stacey’s choice to continue to move about during the pandemic. I opened my journal and let myself be honest: I did not agree and I was mad. In Heart of the Soul, Gary Zukav, encourages us to continue again and again to challenge our anger. First comes the pain, then the fear—the terror of realizing you cannot control all that you feel is essential to your safety and well-being.

I was making dinner when I looked out on our front porch and saw John and the guy who does maintenance here on our home for us shoulder-to-shoulder with one another! I shot across the great room like a stone out of a slingshot, flug the storm door open, and yelled at them both through gritted teeth: “What the hell are you two thinking? Kissing distance is not social distancing!” It was awkward, painful, embarrassing, and maddening. For all of us.

It got more painful when Stacey called and asked me how it was going. I shared the experience and felt the pain of the gaping whole in both of our hearts when she asked me what it would take for me to be willing to risk her dad’s being with someone. I told her I was mad at her. I asked her what she would be willing to do to help keep her dad safe. We both cried—the distance between personal viewpoints was a lot wider than six feet.

The following morning I again wrote in my journal: Some awkward exchange with Stacey about COVID-19. What would you have me know?

V: Fear is fear, Dear One. Your fear is not helping you. What are you afraid of?

D: Being on a vent! Being ill in a hospital without my friends and family. Dying in fear.

V: It is any worse to die in fear than to live in fear? No one is ever alone. You are giving up so much false belief.

Later that evening, playing ZOOM dominoes with good friends, I tearfully confessed that while extra caution is warranted because of John’s comorbidity risk factors (diabetes, hypertension, and on steroids for Polymyalgia), the anger was covering up my fear. Fear which had been my companion for a long time: I was hospitalized in isolation diagnosed with polio at age five, and I experienced post-surgical complications and ended up in the cardiac intensive care unit due to aFib related to having had a nasal gastric tube in 2012.

It has been such a tender process, realizing we are incapable of fully expressing light until we live in darkness, but I am willing to trust our true heritage.

This message came with Darshan yesterday (Darshan is an opportunity or occasion of seeing a holy person or the image of a deity):

You are so radiant. So beautiful. I am saying this to the one present before me, but to all of you. You are all radiant and beautiful and I love you. Sometimes your forget how beautiful you are. Imagine a very lovely silver pitcher — radiant. But here is a spot of tarnish (just a little one). Does this make the pitcher any less? When it is appropriate, it can be polished a bit, but the form of the pitcher and the radiance and the quality of the water that the pitcher holds is not diminished by the spot of tarnish. And, remember that when you get that spot cleared off, you are go to say, “It’s perfect. NO…. there’s another one!” So relax. Focus instead on the radiance of the entire pitcher, the entire being that you are — mind, body, and spirit — with great appreciation. Pride is not going to come up and destroy your radiance. You’re past that. Now is a time for relaxing and cherishing. I love you.

Deep Spring Center
Thought for Today

Watch what pulls you out of balance and
add what’s needed to bring you back again.
This is a dance which you learn,
swaying to the movement of the winds of the world,
deeply rooted in your true being.
This essence of being knows what is needed.
Trust this innate wisdom and goodness in yourself.
Trust that which I call the angel.
~Aaron

May 18, 2020
Aaron

Sacred Stories

She was hosting a ZOOM workshop, listening to one of the teacher’s closing instructions.

The face of the teacher was “spotlighted.” The teacher’s face was the large image, filling her entire screen.

Her mic was off, and she was recording the audio using “voice memo” on her iPhone.

If you listen closely to the audio link below, at about 2 minutes 50 seconds you will hear her start to softly laugh/cry.

She felt as though the teacher was gazing right into her soul through the screen as the teacher said, “I know you get this,” before continuing on with the instructions.

At about 3 minutes 30 seconds into the audio, she was moved to tears. You can hear her breathing and you can identify that she is crying.

It is obvious the teacher stops speaking just briefly—allowing her emotions to settle before continuing.

Amazingly, this teacher is a channeled being called Aaron.

And, Barbara Brodsky, the channel who brings Aaron through, is completely deaf….

April 26, 2020