Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: Aaron

  • The Whole World Matters in the End

    Grateful John and I had an uneventful trip North. We sauntered along Georgia’s secondary roads to avoid Atlanta and stayed the night in Alabama before arriving in Smyrna on Thursday, March 26. We had a busy week of fun family time and an easy drive to Michigan on Monday, April 6. No one feels sorry for snowbirds who speak of the work of moving twice per year, and we get that, but it does take more energy every year.

    We loved our time on Lazy Lane and the fragrance of friendships forged still linger in our hearts. It is interesting to feel at home in so many places.

    There certainly are changes here. The neighbor whose porch light is left on. That person, and others, now “gone.” Another neighbor is now in assisted living. The evidence of impermanence is everywhere.

    Everything is presenting as precious and passing….

    A couple days ago the Daily Reflection Quote from Deep Spring seemed to have said it all: There are two ways in which one may experience God, the God without and that within. To experience the God without is to experience an expression of God. To experience the God within is to experience God directly. There is nothing in the drop of water that is not of the essence of the sea. There is nothing lacking for it to know the whole essence of the sea. When we enter into that divine-most essence of our being, it is a direct experience of God.

    I have stripped the bed and linens are in the dryer. My niece, Jen Marie, is bringing her mom’s cremains today and we will be meeting at the cemetery to determine if that will be their “final resting place.” Of course, we are not our cremains and the neighbors passed are still present in our hearts. What lasts? A very common question with not-so-common realizations.

    We are finally caught up with The Voice and as John and I were watching the final nine episode last night many times I had a catch in my throat. I love seeing those with so much passion receive recognition for what they do. And although the judges are competing against other judges and the contestants are competing against other contestants, genuine appreciation, admiration, and awe for all is palpable. That touches my heart.

    Last year when we came home from Florida, the haunting song I had heard at jams was “The Whole World” by Vince Gill.

    This year I come home with Dale Ann Bradley’s “In the End” resonating. This song was brought to us by our dear music friend, Kevin Mabry, and I previously posted those lyrics here on the Yellow Brick Road.

    What matters in the end? The whole world. There is nothing in the drop of water that is not of the essence of the sea.

  • Wrapping Up Winter 2026

    We were blessed to enjoy a visit with our granddaughter, Courtney. She is mom of our great grandson, Jackson, and it is tax season at work for Jackson’s G-ma, Stacey. It took a lot to get Courtney here, and we loved being able to spoil her while she was here.

    Our central theme was karaoke! She sang at the American Legion out on Pine Island, then here at Lazy Days in North Fort Myers, and finished her run with her favorite Karaoke DJ, Bobby Mann, at the VFW back out on Pine Island.

    She played shuffleboard with her Gampie and puzzled with me. Whether here at the house or out-on-the-town we fed her a few of her favorite things. We enjoyed watching 25 Words or Less, finished the current season of Virgin River on Netflix, and were all thankful she had time to read and nap. She and I often found ourselves in deep conversations about the most mundane subjects.

    Her flight home was delayed and delayed, stranding her at the airport from 4 to 9 pm, until she finally got home safely sometime after midnight!

    It had been exactly 7 years since she was here for a winter visit with us, and so much has changed. Her previous visit was pre-Covid for our world, pre-Quadruple Bypass Surgery for Gampie, and pre-Jackson for all of us. But life is about change. In fact, it is said that change is the only constant.

    It has certainly been an unusual season for John and me: (1) Not co-housing with or being within easy walking distance to Linda and Larry (2) Colder than ever for longer than ever temps (3) Learning curve with a new residence and area (4) Meeting and loving new people where we are.

    Gene, one of our new neighbors and friends, underwent open heart surgery while we were here. Jim and Mary, homeowners of our beloved Blue House we shared in Punta Gorda have listed their home with the hope of moving to the northeast coast of Florida. We did not get to see several of our Pine Island friends. Davey and Eli are in Canada navigating her health situation. We are grateful for and already missing our new homeowners, Jimmy and Renee. We have loved our time spent with Florida music friends! And the relationship with Travis and Brenda has been such a shared journey.

    We are grateful for all the friends we were able to spend time with! Now, packing has begun in earnest, with some loading already happening. We are leaving things here with the intention of being back in this space next season. With every passing day, this beloved home is feeling and looking less and less like our home and we are now earnest about eating our way out of the freezer and back to other people and spaces we love.

    This morning’s “Daily Reflection Quote” from Deep Spring speaks to the truth of the heart with life’s constant comings and goings and shines a light onto what is truth beyond thought and belief. Yes, there is truth that exists even beyond our own perceived experience!

    “You’re on a boat,” he said. “The boat is riding too low on the water and there are waves. You’ve got to toss one person out. In the boat are a loved one, a person about whom you feel neutral, a person who is a difficult person, and yourself. You’re the one to decide: which one are you going to cast into the water?”

    She thought about it a while and said, “There are no grounds for decision.” He just smiled and bowed and indicated that the interview was over.

    “Did I get it right?” she wondered.

    But of course, when you get to that place where you understand your interrelationship with all beings, there are no grounds for decision. You cannot cast yourself into the shark-infested sea to save others, nor can you throw others in to save yourself.

    ~Aaron

    John’s brother, Jack, is back in the hospital again with Cindy’s heroic plans in place to get him safely home to Michigan from Florida early next week. Asking for prayers for them and for everyone and everything in the way your heart earnestly prays.

    “May all be at peace” is a universal, compassionate wish often associated with the Buddhist Metta Sutta (Loving-Kindness prayer), aiming for all beings to be free from suffering, happy, and safe. It is a mindfulness practice used to cultivate, promote inner peace, and foster well-being across the world, including, and without, exception.

    May all be at peace. Here, we are wrapping up winter….

  • Lily Yeh – Lily, Yeah!

    The 2:00 am WhatsApp “ping” from my Singaporean friend woke me. I was able to fall back asleep, but was then awakened by a dream. These disturbances resulted in my reading the thoughts for today that bless my inbox.

    I followed my passion and was guided by the light inside of me. That light does not belong to me alone. It is innate in all of us. Everyone has it. But more often than not, we choose not to see it.

    ~ Lily Yeh (Gratefulness.org)

    I did not know this author. As I lie in the dark listening to a five-part interview my heart and mind was witnessing the importance of being awake even when the body would seem to need to sleep.

    Now that I am awake and showered in readiness for the 6:30 am EST online meditation with Still Mountain, I am having difficulty keeping my fingers on the keyboard because I am distracted by the desire to find the interview that so moved me. Please search and meet this amazing individual for yourself. I see lots of other videos, but I cannot find what I had and I want that again.

    This now moves me to profound compassion. I know my beloved friends in Canada are likely feeling this as they navigate her journey with Glioblastoma — a highly aggressive and malignant brain tumor that originates from glial cells, which support and protect neurons in the brain. Understandably, Jane Foster understands as she continues to deal with complications of the ileostomy in the aftermath of a 12-hour surgery. Michael, now at Caratel after yet another long hospital stay. He has been in more than out since May. The list goes on and on…. So many navigating so much.

    I also read the daily quote from Aaron:

      There are many ways of working with discomforting arising. They all have one thing in common, which is the opening of the heart. Eventually you may become quite skilled at making space for that which arises in the emotions and at making space for physical sensations and thoughts as well, without reactivity or fear of any of these. You are still caught in the illusion. You are busy being somebody who possesses sensations, emotions, and thoughts. And you are also busy being somebody who works skillfully with them. Eventually you must let go of the illusion without denying the illusion its place as a catalyst for learning. You must come to know who you truly are when you are not somebody who is being busy learning to be skillful.

    Today will be a bit of a break from packing and loading in preparation for our planned departure on Thursday. It seems other worldly to anticipate not sleeping in my own bed for over five months. I am feeling homesick before I have left.

    I will draw from the delicious days spent loving and being loved by family and friends and people I do not even know.

    Another step on the path reading the The DailyTejaniya:

      To recognize whether or not you have the right attitude is more important than experiencing peaceful states, or having a “good sit.”

      Right attitude is accepting, observing, and learning from your experience just as it is.

    AS I WAS LOOKING FOR A PHOTO FOR THIS POST, I FOUND THE LINK TO WHAT I HAD LISTENED TO!

    A Conversation with Lily Yeh: Art is Change.

    May you be free from suffering and know the roots of suffering.

    May you live in harmony and know the roots of harmony, living in the present moment with an open heart.

    May you have peace and know the roots of peace, acceptance.

  • Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu

    Today is my birthday.

    As my birthday ritual I did an audio Mudita meditation with John Orr from an online retreat day April 11, 2021. Mudita is a Sanskrit and Pali word that means “sympathetic joy” or “appreciative pleasure”. It’s a Buddhist concept that involves feeling joy for the good fortune of others.

    The first person you choose is someone you can feel a genuine sense of happiness for their good fortune and happiness. Today I chose my older grandson, Bradley. Currently I am sharing substantial time with him as he his helping me get DebraBasham.com set up. It will be the new home to Yellow Brick Road and Sacred Stories and many of the resources that have been located on SCS-Matters.com.

    The second person is often called The Benefactor — someone who has been loving and supportive for you at some time or times in your life. I chose Reverend Betty Lue Lieber, who founded Reunion with her husband, Robert Waldon. This is the the program I was ordained through in 1997.

    The third person is a neutral person. It may not even be someone you know personally, but it is someone who is feeling happiness and good fortune with a recent accomplishment, something that likely brings that person joy. I chose Donald Trump. You are instructed in the meditation to notice any old mind states like jealousy or envy. Right there with those feelings say, “May joy infuse your life. May it continue all of your days. May you truly be happy. May you truly be free. May all of this grow. May it infuse your heart.”

    The fourth person is sometimes called The Enemy but it is just a challenging person (a person you are having a challenge with). You are encouraged to notice all of the happiness in that person’s life — loving family and friends and relationships, meaningful work. “May you be truly happy and well.” You are invited to be genuinely grateful for all that you have learned from this person.

    After the guided meditation ended I played a recording of the chant “Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu” from a residential retreat day October 10, 2019. Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu is a Sanskrit phrase that translates to “May all beings everywhere be happy and free”. It is a prayer for global well-being and peace, and a perfect chant to support the Mudita Meditation.

    When I finished I looked at a list of others I know share a January 22 birthday:
    1. Wayne Kaiser
    2. Emily Warner
    3. Phillip Largay
    4. Joyce Zerbe
    5. Aaron (Linda Gunter’s son)
    6. Allen Mumper
    7. Emily’s husband’s cousin
    8. PT at Borgess
    9. George Ross
    10. Izzie (granddaughter Courtney’s friend)
    11. Carrie Startcher (daughter Stacey’s friend in Clarksville)
    12. Sivia’s mother

    I like to also contemplate the day’s messages that come on this day from sources I value and follow.

    Daily Reflection from Deep Spring

    In a moment of darkness, you are wont to ask, “Why this darkness?” You have a sense that if you could but understand the darkness, you could protect yourself from it. Such thinking only further strengthens the illusion of the self. Can you sit there in that darkness and simply know, “Here I sit in darkness and I will wait. I need not fight with the darkness. I need not try to push it away. I need not grasp, even at faith.”

    Just faith: faith expressed as the willingness to sit in darkness, if darkness is what is there, without a need to grasp at the light but with the willingness to open the doors and allow in the light. ~ Aaron

    On this day of your life Debra, I believe God wants you to know that not everything has to turn out exactly the way you planned in order for you to call it a success. Sometimes all God wants you to do is to “get the ball rolling.” Then, She’ll take it from there.

    So when things turn out other than the way you wanted them to, don’t be so quick to say, “Bummer!”

    Many a Bummer is a Blessing in disguise. Consider the possibility that life is magic…and that there’s a rabbit in that hat.

    Love, your Friend, Neale Donald Walsch

    From Gratefulness.org

    You must live life with the full knowledge that your actions will remain. We are creatures of consequence. ~ Zadie Smith

    From The Daily Tejaniya

    When you are truly aware you aren’t focusing, yet you are
    aware of objects. You are aware of thoughts of the mind, sensations
    of the body, and perceptions (sights,sounds, etc.) of the world.

    By practicing in this way, the mind stays fresh.

    It may not be usual to be happier for someone else’s birth than your own on your birthday, but today I truly feel greater joy that Stacey was born than that I was born. I get that she could not have been born unless I had been, but emotions don’t always make sense. In fact, they are often very distorted. That is just how it is. So at three quarters of a century I am grateful for the wonderful woman who came in as a teenage pregnancy and those that came in from her.

    RIP Wayne Kaiser and Allen Mumper.

    May all beings everywhere be happy and free. Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu….

  • Milton’s Mayhem and Message

    Last evening we had dinner with two long-time friends. One friend lost her winter home on Pine Island two years ago to Hurricane Ian. As Hurricane Milton is crossing the Gulf of Mexico right now barrelling toward Florida we have friends who are year-round on the island. It felt good for us to gather here in our tiny house and enjoy hearty soup and savory salads. And fresh-baked bread.

    The other friend and I will be attending a residential retreat all of next week. She said the retreat comes at an ideal time for her as she is so wrapped up in the political stuff and global conditions.

    This morning I sent both of them the opening words of our Florida meditation group who meets online each Tuesday afternoon at 1:00 pm EST. The leader hosted this gathering in her home on Pine Island for several decades until she moved into a senior living center on the mainland. At the time of yesterday’s Zoom gathering, she was there in her apartment.

    Her opening words were salve…. “It is a different feeling when I feel that if I don’t like what’s going on right now, I can change it. But the reality is that all I can do about that is change my attitude about it. I can’t necessarily change what’s actually happening. So it’s sort of humbling to sit here in this same space, but it looks much differently because, you know, all the windows are covered up, the doors are covered up. You can’t see out. There isn’t anybody out there to see anyway. So it’s quite a different reality.”

    Three of us online with her sat in our homes here in Michigan.

    One other friend online with us told us she was staying on Pine Island in the home of friends. The same home and the same friends with whom this friend survived Hurricane Ian two years ago. This friend’s home had been destroyed in Matlacha.

    This morning I wake to a text message from another friend who had spent a day with us on Pine Island before Hurricane Ian. He was sending a photo and this message, “With all that is going on in Florida sending you one of my guardian orbs.”


    Perfectly round orbs appearing in photos are often interpreted as signs of harmony and purity, believed to represent balanced energy and the presence of a peaceful spirit. Some see them as guardians or guides. They are thought to be evidence of the presence of our departed loved ones who are watching over us.

    A while later this morning as I opened email the loving messages continued.

      The world is a creation of our mind. Everything we experience happens in the mind. So there is no need to look outside. Everything is happening right here in our own minds. ~ The Daily Tejaniya

      Gain and loss, pleasure and pain, joy and sorrow, light and dark—these are seeming opposites. But nothing is truly an opposite but always part of everything else. What would joy be without sorrow? How would you recognize joy? How would you recognize the light if there were no sense of darkness? How would you know spaciousness if there were never contraction? But we must recognize the distinction between ultimate reality and those mundane objects that arise from conditions and pass away. Reflect on the beauty of light and love as ultimate realities, and how darkness and contraction arise out of conditions and pass away. ~ Aaron

    The opening words for our meditation time continued: “And although I know that this particular building, as you know, I’m on the sixth floor, which is the top floor, it’s poured concrete. So all the floors are concrete that’s twelve inches thick, and the walls are not quite that thick, but the outside walls are. Maybe it’s eight inches on the walls. And so it would have to be a really tremendous storm to take any of it out. And I just know that that’s not forthcoming. I don’t think we’ll really even know that it happened. And it will happen between tomorrow, between bedtime and midnight. So they say. I was talking to a friend yesterday, and I said, you know, you and I have had a nice long association in this lifetime, and if you never hear from me again, just know that I love you. And it threw her a bit for me to say that. And I was very conscious of what I was saying, because that’s always true. It’s not just because there’s a storm. It’s true for all of us today, right now. However, our lives usually are focused in a different direction. Thank goodness.”

    And as we settled into the stillness, these assurances were spoken: “Yes, this is comforting, and all of you are comforting. And I know that there are many others that are also. And hopefully they have found a place where they can express their own comfort. So if everyone is ready, shall we go into our meditation? So taking a couple of deep breaths, and just feel the breath as it fills our lungs. And exhale. And then with the next breath, fill the lungs as much as they were, and then add a little bit more. And I ask Spirit to be with us, the higher selves of each of us, to guide and protect us, acknowledging that that’s what they are doing all the time. And then as we take that deep breath, and a little more, know that every time we do this, we are a little more of who we are. I don’t know that it’s possible, well, let me put it some other way. I accept the possibility that when we take all we can that we are, and then we add a little more, that there will always be a little more. In the evolution of humanity, of life on this planet, I can imagine there’s always a little more. And it’s not necessarily definable, not something that we can describe. And yet there’s a sense within each of us that knows there’s a little more. So as we go into the silence today, into the uncertainty of how nature will conclude this day, we set an intention to be a little more.”

    May all beings find an end to stress and suffering. May all beings know peace.

  • The Guest House

    Today is March 21 and I have absolutely no “excuse” for not having posted on Yellow Brick Road since February 26. Yes, we have had house guests off and on for the past six weeks. Yes, I have been riding up to 20 miles per day on my bike this year rather than the normal 5-8 miles of recent years, including time for stopping to share affection with this kitty on Harbor Drive.


    Yes, I have completed 19 one-thousand-piece puzzles, and, yes, I have also read five books since we arrived here in Punta Gorda early December, but, the real reason my posts have been few and far between is far deeper.

    The real reason is I am profoundly present with the play of light and darkness within my mind and that can be awkward to speak about. At Tuesday evening’s North Fort Myers Bluegrass Jam after the sun had gone down light was pouring in from from the nearby baseball field behind the line of trees. I was transfixed by this juxtaposition of the light and darkness so I snapped a photo.


    I am likely continuing to mine gifts of intentionally working with shadow. These past years of classes with Barbara Brodsky and John Orr and Aaron during which we navigated the Sacred Darkness. Sacred Darkness is very much with me. As is the Light. Each experience brings myriad thoughts, feelings, sensations, emotions…. all can be welcomed, even while not all are comfortable, and some are outright uncomfortable.

    As a guide, Rumi’s poem “The Guest House” comes to mind frequently.

      This being human is a guest house.
      Every morning a new arrival.

      A joy, a depression, a meanness,
      some momentary awareness comes
      as an unexpected visitor.

      Welcome and entertain them all!
      Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
      who violently sweep your house
      empty of its furniture,
      still, treat each guest honorably.
      He may be clearing you out
      for some new delight.

      The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
      meet them at the door laughing,
      and invite them in.

      Be grateful for whoever comes,
      because each has been sent
      as a guide from beyond.

      Copyright 1997 by Coleman Barks. Posted with permission. All rights reserved. From The Illuminated Rumi.

    Every line of this poem played itself out on Sunday when I watched a china pasta bowl I bought at the flea market for one dollar break in half against the asphalt. A hundred things cannot fully express the thoughts, feelings, sensations, and emotions melded into an experience.

    “It was only one dollar,” were the words I spoke at the time of the crash.

    Totally true words, but not the totality of my experience.

    I could not get that bowl out of my thoughts.

    I wished I had taken it to the van.

    The best way to describe it is like a too-brief encounter that leaves you yearning for a deeper knowing of one another. Who made this? How did it come to be at this flea market today? Who gave it such a low price? What is/was it’s real value? What would it feel like and look like filled with delicious food sitting in the middle of the table?

    I wished I had taken a photo of that bowl it to remember it by. I think I recall there having been a couple of butterflies and some flowers. I know there was green along the rim. The bowl was made in Italy, but I do not know if it was hand painted. I wished I had carefully brought the two halves home and glued them back together rather than having John toss them into the trash can. It could not hold pasta but perhaps it could have held fruit on the counter…. I grieved the loss.

    Complicating factors were the unanswered questions around the mishap. Details I did not have access to as I longed to put my mind at rest. I wanted to know the who, what, when, where, why, and how. I longed to free my mind of the ruminating. This being human is a guest house.

    The experience is not just about that bowl. It is about the nature of mind. A loved one dies. A loved one survives. All of the unanswered questions. A welcomed baby. An abused child. Kindness. Unkindness. Pleasant and painful. Light and darkness playing itself out on that inner landscape of mind.

    This being human is a guest house. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. ~ Rumi

  • I Am Made of You

      It is this disinterested but completely allowing contemplation of the body in the world that the body loses its ‘me-ness’ and the world loses its ‘not-me-ness.’ In this way bodily sensations no longer cry out ‘I am separate, I am exclusively you” and perceptions of the world no longer cry out, ‘I am separate, I am not you.’ Everything sings out, ‘I am made of you.’ ~ Rupert Spiria


    Is this a drawing of a duck or a rabbit?

    A catchy little trick from NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) was to ask a client if he or she was sure enough to be unsure when that person could see conflicting points of view. This week it has come into clarity how vital it may be for each of us to move toward willingness to live in a state of asking that of ourselves: “Am I sure enough to be unsure?”

    The point is freedom from identification with any point of view; a full freedom from attachment to ALL points of view. This does not mean I won’t have a point of view. Of course we will. The shift comes as awareness reveals whatever the point of view, it is simply a point of view.

    Points of view can be very similar, somewhat similar, somewhat different, radically different, or even diabolically opposed. I think you will agree that way too often solidified points of view which are widely differing or diabolically opposed can become deadly. Literally….

    At the very least solidified points of view have an impact on rapport and can damage relationships, cause stress, and rob us of our natural state of harmony and happiness.

    Decades ago it was pretty easy for me to hold a firm intention to have freedom from a “negative” point of view, and to observe the changes within myself when I was free from that point of view. I could quite easily and notice when my Debbie Downer was in charge, and I could choose a better feeling thought. This was quite skillful at that time.

    The past several years I have been studying Sacred Darkness with a group of others who are also intentional about awareness with a capital “A.” What is sometimes called “pure” awareness is not a limited awareness of this or that, and it is not attached to a particular point of view. Even preferences of positive or negative are simply part of the continuum of The All That Is.

    For sure, I prefer feeling positively, but can you see that this preference is also aversion to feeling negatively? I remember so well letting something negative “go,” but continuing to hold the point of view that it was or is negative.

    Aaron’s Daily Reflection:

    Many of you were raised with this idea, “Hold it in the light and it will dissolve.” What do I do if it doesn’t dissolve? And of course, sometimes it doesn’t dissolve. If the conditions are present and have not yet been purified, then that condition will arise and will maintain itself until the conditions dissolve. If the conditions for body pain are still there, the pain will remain, no matter how much you try to love it. You do not love it to make it go away. You hold it in love — the body pain, the anger — because that spaciousness is what allows the conditions to dissolve. If you hold it in a kind of idea of love, saying, “I will love it. I will love it. Why is it still here? I’m loving it so hard! Why doesn’t it go?”, well, you’re just more and more contracting, more and more caught up in whatever has arisen, because you’re trying to smash it away.

    Rupert Spira is a teacher of non-dual awareness. He is the author of the opening quotation. His words are still a bit foreign to most humans when we try to use the finite mind to know or speak about the world. However, Spira’s work assures us, “It’s not possible to view the world directly from awareness’ perspective,” because, “There’s no room in the infinite for the finite.”

    Awareness needs the finite mind to know the world. The finite mind holds points of view.

    Every point of view is finite but love is infinite.

    Perhaps one way human beings are able to open to and enjoy the sweet fragrance of infinite love is by being sure enough to be unsure…. I am made of you.

  • Grace is All Around

    My husband and I were a bit traumatized after witnessing an horrific incident at a bridge close to where we’re camping in Santa Cruz, as we were walking back from the beach. A man had a medical incident (DUI-drugs apparently) while driving across the bridge, hitting someone and another person either leapt out of the way or was also hit and fell over the bridge. Apparently he landed on the dock below, then was airlifted.

    The screams from the bridge will remain with us for a long time.

    We went for a lovely bike ride the next day all along the coast. When we passed the amusement park on the boardwalk, the screams on the roller coaster brought it all back.

    However, the following day, the Daily Reflection from Deep Spring Center for Meditation spoke to me hugely. I am the guy who fell over the bridge, the guy who caused the incident, the injured woman. We are all one. There are no sides.

      Even in the most terrible disaster, when people are dying, when people are suffering, those who have emerged personally unscathed experience an excitement of sorts. It grows partly out of having escaped harm themselves. It has its roots in fear. It’s a kind of relief, what you might feel if you were on a bridge with some friends and it began to tremble and pieces fall out, and you all ran to the end and just got off the bridge in time before it collapsed. Other people on the bridge plunged to their death. You would feel a sadness, a true sadness for them, born out of the recognition that it could have been you, but also a very personal sense of relief: I’m safe. My loved ones are safe. We escaped. Can you see that this grows out of fear? There is a separation: WE escaped, THEY died. It’s not okay that they died, but, “Whew, we escaped.” Part of this is the denial of the human of its own mortality: here’s another one that I’m free from; it didn’t get me this time. So there’s a sense of denial—that isn’t me on the bottom of that chasm. Never mind that my loved ones and I are here safely on the side, that’s still US down there.

      The human mind sometimes cannot cope with the enormity of the suffering that it faces. Sometimes that degree of denial becomes necessary for survival. I’m not saying that it’s good or bad, only that the being that would grow in spiritual ways needs to be aware if one is experiencing that, that one is experiencing that. Experiencing denial, experiencing profound fear, feeling overwhelmed, and by way of needing to cope with the heaviness of this catalyst, moving into denial. This is something that can mask as sadness, but it’s not true sadness, it’s fear. Sadness that grows out of love is a very profound emotion. It leaves you feeling helpless, in a sense, deeply aware of the reality of suffering. Simply watch the way it arises, all of you, to further clarify this distinction. ~ Aaron

    There are no coincidences.

    It is truly remarkable Aaron’s teaching was about falling off the bridge….

    The same day as Aaron’s quotation in a book I’m reading The Covenant of Water, by Abraham Verghese, there’s a scene with two surgeons — one is injured and the other looking at him with compassion and wanting to help him — but from a place of oneness and love, and not as “one” looking at the “other.”  

    Reading Verghese’s words also spoke to me. Grace is all around.

  • Wholly Holy

      Friends accept
      that friends
      will feel out loud
      when they are ready.
      ~ She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women

    Late yesterday afternoon I had a serendipitous treasure visiting with my dear friend, Jane Foster. Jane is navigating radiation therapy. The linear accelerator was being repaired so she had the day off from her daily drive into Chicago.

    One of the foods that sits well with Jane right now is my homemade creamy tomato basil soup. A neighbor grows the basil and it is such a gift-of-the-garden, even more so when it is shared. I delivered soup and fresh-baked cookies.

    This has been a stressful week and the visit with Jane was such a bright spot!

    As Jane referenced her sense of the deep pain in the world I told her about the stated angst of an elder student around his not being able to go and physically offer support to those in Israel who are suffering violence and killing. Here is the short transcript of Aaron’s significant response, posted on the Yellow Brick Road with Barbara Brodsky’s blessing:

      I hear the pain in your heart. The human goes through various stages in its life. At some stages, this action or reply is most harmonious to the true being, and in other stages, a different reply is. As the human ages, often they cannot go off and protest or do whatever else they were moved to do 30 years earlier, and perhaps that is not what is needed.

      The world needs an energetic container for compassion.

      Feel in yourself the power to help support that energetic container. It is no less a “doing” than any other kind of doing but it is a doing grounded in a certain wisdom and beingness that only someone that has reached some maturity can bring together.

      So, this is your special gift at this time of your life.

      To pray.

      To visualize.

      To purify yourself — releasing old animosities, old distinctions of this and that — and truly holding everything in the loving container of your heart.

      This is a powerful connection in the world. It can bring forth powerful results. It can draw to you from all over the world, the energy of others like yourself. You don’t have to talk to each other or Zoom with each other. You can; its not a problem but trust the power of your energy and love and release it into this massive container of unconditional love and strong compassion that says “No!” to killing, but without blame of anybody who still is engaged in killing. They are not ready yet not to kill.

      You become the ground from which their readiness can arise….

    This awareness visits a very humble and willing space in my heart.

    “Don’t Just Sit There. Do Something.” is a song by Lewi B and Manga Saint Hilare.

    Meditation circles flip that around and say, “Don’t just do something. Sit there.”

    But Aaron’s words bring a beautiful balance to these thought polarities by providing us with a true knowing when you and I pray, visualize, and purify ourselves what we are doing is wholly holy….

  • Perfect

    We gained an hour last night here in most of the United States. What an odd concept, that we can lose or gain time….

    Gain and loss…. part of the Eight Worldly Winds. It is written that gain obsesses the mind, and loss obsesses the mind. We are attracted to gain and repelled by loss, thus we can be tossed about by our (often subconscious) fears and desires.

    This retreat has been placed in the perfect conditions of my life. My nephew David has found himself homeless and without money once again…. I could feel my heart closing after discovering he had not been honest with us.

    During the dinner break last evening I overheard John having two difficult phone conversations: the first was about an ambulance and police cars having been at the home of John’s youngest brother. Thankfully, John’s brother was not the one in medical crisis, and the man living on his property was tended to. In the quest for information, however, John discovered something else about his brother that was distressing.

    Loss and gain, fears and desires.

    The second phone call was about Friday’s evaluation for our great grandson, Jackson. Jackson had seizures one year ago during the fall retreat. While we have lost the illusion that Jackson is neurotypical, we also have watched him gain the ability to walk. He is still not talking. And, yes, it feels like another likely loss that Jackson will be tested this week and it is strongly expected he will be diagnosed as on the spectrum for Autism Disorder.

    The last sentence in my retreat journal from yesterday is: “If we had to be perfect to make a positive impact in the world what good could ever get done?”

    In the evening dharma talk, Aaron told a story about when he and Jeshua as young boys befriended another boy who would have been called retarded. Aaron would smile so broadly speaking of that boy’s loving heart.

    Our son-in-love, Doug, said about Jackson in the aftermath of the seizures: “Jackson is still the same loving little boy.”

    We have been learning that compassion is vital in facing the conditions of our world today. We have heard the term “Satyāgraha,” which is a sort of holding firmly to truth, also sometimes called truth force. It is a particular form of nonviolent resistance or civil resistance.

    We have also heard the word ahimsa, which is Sanskrit for noninjury. In the Indian religions of Jainism, Hinduism, and Buddhism, ahimsa the ethical principle of not causing harm to other living things. There are said to be three types of ahimsa or harm:

      1. Physical, by hurting someone’s physical body.
      2. Vocal, by speaking against others, hurting their feelings.
      3. Mental, by thinking against others.

    From this morning’s Daily Reflection Quote:

    Everything is compassion. It’s only when you’re cut off from that compassion that you can begin to realize that you have free will choice to react with holding things away from you with negativity, with fear, or, still feeling that fear, to make the choice, “I will respond with love, even though my reaction is based in fear. I want to fight back. I want to hate. I want to kill. But I will not allow that of myself.” ~ Aaron

    Fortunately, we don’t have to be perfect to make a positive impact in the world.

    My intention can be: I will respond with love, even if or when my reaction is based in fear.

    Love. Perfect love.

    (Barbara Brodsky shared a precious video on Instagram of a dog being loved on by ponies. She said, “This is perfect love. They don’t care if they are different.” Here is a photo snip:)

    (And also sharing a photo of Junior Bear, my nephew’s Emotional Support Animal, sitting patiently at the table waiting for his breakfast at The Mason Jar Cafe.)