Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Author: Debra Basham

  • The Same Blue Supermoon Shines in Every Back Yard

    The moon again provides a backdrop for the Yellow Brick Road (see my previous post, Waning Gibbous Moon).

    A friend lives in Colorado where the skies are almost always clear. Each month he takes a photo of the full moon and sends it to me. (If you are not able to see the photo below, please click on the title of this post to read it on the website.)

    That ritual of friendship is housed in a story about a family who left the United Methodist church (which had an aging congregation with no Sunday school program for their young children) and joined the Congregational church where all the young families attended. A bit concerned about any theological differences that might be spiritually dangerous to their souls, they asked their Methodist minister what he thought. His reply was, “The same moon shines in every back yard.”

    Whether full, waning gibbous, blue, super, or dark — we sleep under the same moon.

    A lot is happening to cause this particular blue supermoon to occur. The red wavelengths do not reach the earth, so the blue ones make the moon appear blue. It is the second full moon in the month of August, a supermoon, and this year’s closest to the earth (100 miles closer than the August the August 1, 2023 supermoon).

    And this particular moon is visible everywhere on the planet….

    One post I read mentioned that it also falls on the Hindu festival of Raksha Bandhan, which celebrates the bonds between brothers and sisters.

    Another mentioned this as a time of heightened emotion and intuition. It’s rarity suggests an opportunity to connect with our innermost dreams and visions.

    Katherine May writes, “It’s as if the universe is inviting us to lean in, embrace our aspirations, and make heartfelt decisions about our relationships. Our sense of enchantment is not triggered only by grand things; the sublime is not hiding in distant landscapes. The awe-inspiring, the numinous, is all around us, all the time. It is transformed by our deliberate attention.”

    And under this moon magical things are in the making in my family. I have shared the success my nephew has had getting his life together following years of incarceration. I published an “Insights” clergy article about how difficult it is when someone gets out of prison with no car, no job, no home, no money. He did not even have a drivers’ license, and his profession is driving truck!

    It has not all been song and dance. But he was able to satisfy the conditions of and get off parole. Nothing short of a miracle, but he has made it. He says he could not have done it without some of his family.

    Just last week he was really down. He was without a job again, and therefore without a vehicle, money, or home. I reminded him how much better off he is now than then, and how Abraham Hicks says if your life is not working for you there is only one non-cooperative part: YOU.

    One website broke the influence of the blue supermoon down by Zodiac signs. The specific meaning for those whose birthday falls between November 22 and December 21, Sagittarians: brace for a home and family shift. Delve into emotional ties within your kinship. It’s ideal for a home refresh – renovate, cleanse, and invigorate your space. My nephew’s birthday is December 3….

    And this week, under this August 2023 blue supermoon, healing is happening. His sister and her husband are helping him renovate a camper trailer so he and his dog will have a stable base rather than ending up homeless every time he would change jobs. They are feeding him and providing him with a vehicle. He will be starting a new job, with a company he worked for previously (when he was not as stable as he is now). They see value in him and are giving his a job again.

    Soooooo much to be grateful for.

    In the Christian New Testament, Matthew 12:48-50, Jesus replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

    May all brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers and neighbors and friends even enemies do the will of the Father (and Mother) in heaven and love one another. It is happening in this blue supermoon.

  • Gold Accent Wall

    It was traumatic having been let go from the prestigious salon she had worked at for 13 years. All because she asked to have two weeks before coming back after the shut-down due to Covid.

    She and her husband prayed for guidance. She began doing skin care in clients’ homes, but it was soon obvious she needed a place to open a small salon. She saw an available space conveniently located next to her daughter’s school, but it was only 300 square feet. Too small…. Nothing else was available in the building, but she left her name with the landlord.

    That night she dreamed of the perfect space, including vivid detail right down to the furnishings. The following morning she made a sketch. The accent color was gold, her favorite color.

    Two weeks later she received a call about a larger space which had opened up in that building. It was perfect. In fact, it looked just like her drawing with a nice waiting room and a service room. She knew this was the space for her spa.*

    The back wall was already painted an accent color: gold!

    *You can read “Blessings in Abundance, by Tam Jones” of Fort Worth, Texas, in Guideposts Aug/Sept 2023. Check out Tam’s website at www.SKINBYTAMNICOLE.com and like Tam Nicole Esthetics Studio on Facebook, follow tam_nicole_Esthetics_studio on Instagram, phone or text at (817) 404-8641.

  • Waning Gibbous Moon

    I was restless at bedtime last night. It had been a pleasant day but late in the evening I got a text from a friend who had ended up at the ER over the weekend, John’s bedtime blood pressure reading was a bit elevated, and I read an email from a person who is asking something of me (again) that I am not comfortable with.

    The next email I read was from another friend. I did not respond to her before going to bed, but as I spent time answering her this morning it felt like a journal entry so I am sharing it here.

      What are some of the catalysts for you? I hope you are managing okay?

    D: The catalysts are feelings of being unsure, not trusting, afraid I will make a mistake that will bring about pain or loss. John has a primary physician; an endocrinologist for his thyroid condition; a neurologist because he had a TIA; two cardiologists because he had the quadruple bypass surgery (one in Michigan and one in Florida).

    They all have opinions about the medications and they make changes and he develops a side effect from the medication so they give him another medication to counteract that side effect. We end up constantly at the doctor’s office and living with our finger on his pulse instead of enjoying the quality of life we do have.

    The catalysts are always things we recognize from our practice: hindrances, worldly dharmas…. and we all have habit energies around grasping and aversion — things we want or don’t want.

      I have catalysts too 🙂 An ongoing deep sense of wanting to belong with a group I resonate with.

    D: Are you familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? From the bottom of the hierarchy upwards, the needs are physiological (food and clothing), safety (job security as well as physical or emotional safety), love and belonging needs (friendship or group affiliation), esteem, and self-actualization The idea is that the upper needs cannot be satisfied until the lower needs are. The sense of not belonging to a group blocks confidence and self-acceptance. It is an interesting way of seeing. Others are coming forth with more contemporary ways of looking at these with greater dimension, but they seem to follow this essential pattern.

    May you be happy; may you know love, may you know perfection and peace. That is the great prayer, isn’t it….

      There is also some fear, which I recognize is my lack of confidence and faith in the practice.

    I appreciate how some of the teachers of the direct path speak about it. Mooji and Adyashanti, for example. Seeking will keep us seeking.

    Perhaps because I am much older now I am more OKAY with what is. Even these current catalysts are gifts. I have watched John lose consciousness now twice, and both times in a doctor’s office!

    I had a dream MANY years ago. John had been hit in the head by a part of a boat, like a boom, while he was working at the dock. His head was bleeding profusely and I knew he was dying. I was sitting on the sand in shallow water holding him in my arms totally knowing he was dying and yet we were just present with one another in such deep love and devotion and gratitude for our lives together. It was beautiful.

    This summer I had the honor of watching a friend be held by his wife as he died in much that same way. Claudia held Wayne that way as he was dying.

    We are capable of living life and facing death with confidence that whatever happens it is OKAY.

    And in the moments when we are not feeling that it is OKAY we can let go of the grasping and allow our true essence to return. And it does. The moon is not always full in my sight but it is never larger nor smaller than it is…. And you and I are not always visibly awake in our thoughts and feelings and sensations (aggregates) but we are never more nor less awake.

      Have a good night 🙂

    I was a bit restless, but morning came and the windows are open and the air is fresh and my coffee is hot.

    Last night as John and I walked home after playing cards with Linda and Larry a beautiful waning gibbous moon hung low in the sky.

    “A waning gibbous moon phase is a time to look inwards and re-evaluate your goals. It’s a time to feel grateful for what has been this month and re-adjust your intentions moving forward.”


    I am grateful for you in the world, Dear Friend.

  • Consecrate This

    Compassion becomes real
    when we recognize
    our shared humanity.

    ~ Pema Chödrön

    Posted on Facebook by a Reunion Living Ministry colleague:

    “To bless whatever there is, and for no other reason but simply because it is, that is what we are made for as human beings.”

    ~ David Steindal-Rast

    I bless the heat and the fact that I can experience it. What do you bless today?

    I commented on her post: I bless a clean toilet tank and bowl.

    Yesterday afternoon some workers broke a water riser three houses from us.The park notified all residents that we would be without water for a few hours. Shortly after the water was back on VERY rusty water came pouring in! If you do not see the photos, you can click on the title of this post to read it on the website.

    The water in the toilet bowl began to clear some after MANY flushings, but the inside of the toilet tanks were very stained this morning:

    To see that coming out of our water lines was pretty shocking. The young man who manages our park day-to-day assured us it was rust from the loss of and then re-establishment of the water pressure in the lines. He even came over late last evening. We sent him home with our appreciation and some of John’s garden bounty: Sugar Rush cherry tomatoes.

    Today my thoughts and prayers are with those who lost loved ones and have been devastated by the fires on Maui. John and I had one of our best ever breakfast-out experiences in the historic town of Lahaina when we stayed on Maui and we fully understand things are not over just because it stops making the news. Friends and neighbors in Florida are still navigating the devastation of Hurricane Ian, now almost eleven months ago.

    A friend just brought her elderly father home following a hip-replacement. Thankfully they are receiving support from hospice, but even with that support there is a lot to navigate.

    Another friend leaves her home here in Michigan and goes to Wisconsin for weeks at a time in support of her 100-years-plus father’s staying in his own home.

    Many of you are aware of Barbara Brodsky’s caring for her husband, Hal, in their home in spite of his being paralyzed on one side and having aphasia post-stroke. Plus Barbara is deaf, and she just spent months non-weight bearing due to infection in the bone on her toe. She is recovering well and grateful to be able to shower and now to swim!

    People navigate many challenges every day, day-to-day.

    Readers know about our precious Jackson. He has been seizure free since the first week of November, however, he is not yet talking and things like potty training that would be expected about this age (he will be three in December) is out of the question at this time. They will be evaluating him related to his possibly being on the autism spectrum, and we hope for benefit of more early intervention services and therapy. This is not the parenting experience our granddaughter dreamed of.

    When something happens many prayers and thoughts come flooding forth, but, then life goes on and we may not always remember that life goes on….

      Daily Reflection from Deep Spring

      There are places in this universe where there is terrible pain, darkness, misunderstanding, which lead to hatred, greed, and fear. What you do on this simple planet Earth as you raise the vibration here has the ability to move the expression of Divinity, Buddha Nature, Christ Consciousness—whatever you want to call it—out into the universe. It raises its vibration. It makes it more powerful. This is the core of the work you’re doing. It is not just for you, to wake up or to live your life more comfortably. I’m delighted to see you living your lives more comfortably, but that’s not the end result. And if that were the end result in your mind, can you see how it would limit you? But when you immediately consecrate this goodness, this opening heart, this clarity, “I consecrate this. I offer it to all beings everywhere, in all the universes, that all beings truly may have an end to suffering,” that heightens it for yourself and it makes it available everywhere. No insight, no movement of the open heart is ever lost.

    The opening words from Pema Chödrön say it all: our humanity is shared. Recognizing this makes compassion real.

    Whatever we go through, we consecrate this….

    Amen.

  • Our Real Power

    We cannot forget that our real power is not necessarily to change the world, but to make a world of change to the people we encounter every day. ~ Cory Booker

    Last Thursday morning while I was out on a bike ride I got a call from a friend here in the park, “I have some bad news.” I knew what she was going to say. “I just tested positive for Covid.”

    We had been together for a couple of hours the prior evening at the Glenairs Jam. Linda and Larry were not there but when I told her the news she sent me the current Covid exposure guidelines from the CDC.

      After being exposed to COVID-19 START PRECAUTIONS IMMEDIATELY. Wear a mask as soon as you find out you were exposed.

      Start counting from day 1. Day 0 is the day of your last exposure to someone with COVID-19, and day 1 is the first full day after your last exposure.

      CONTINUE PRECAUTIONS 10 full day because you can still develop COVID-19 up to 10 days after you have been exposed.

      Wear a high-quality mask or respirator (e.g., N95) any time you are around others inside your home or indoors in public.

    John cancelled his pool match with Charlie on Thursday and his practice music session with John Smith on Saturday, and he stayed home from coffee. I wore a mask when Linda Allen and Princess and I went for a bike ride, and during any errands I ran. We canceled our Saturday plans for the taco-bar-birthday celebration with my sister, Janis, and our brother-in-love, Larry, the birthday boy.

    This morning I was catching up on emails and read about how rather than developing skills for drawing on our inner resources, many of us developed skills for looking outward and reacting to whatever confronted us. Earlier in the week I got twisted up with our friend who hosts the jam sessions. He and his wife obviously were not isolating. Admittedly, they were on the other side of the room the evening of our exposure, but he said he believed they were exposed so their choice for navigating is deeper than where in the room they were on Wednesday.

    I am surprised that I am quite the stickler about following the guidelines because I am generally more of a rule-breaker than a rule-follower. (Common Metaprograms from the personality preferences in SCS/NLP.) Of course, you cannot do one without simultaneously doing the other. They reside in pairs – opposite ends of a continuum, just like heads and tails on a coin.

    I am not paranoid about Covid any more. I was. But I do not want to get ill or to be sick, and even more than that, I don’t want to knowingly expose someone else. For me, it is an easy choice to experience the frustration of missing something I was looking forward to.

    After I got twisted up with our friend, I later got twisted up with our daughter, Stacey, about having gotten twisted up with our friend. Both of them used the exact same words that sent me over the edge: “It is just like flu.” Well, that is not how I see it….

    So, I read a book.

    I did a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle. The title of this one was “Fun Fair Foods” and I made hamburgers for our dinner that night. LOL.

    I painted the deck box that sits on the front porch the same powder blue of our barn.

    Yesterday’s project was beautiful, bright new paint and hardware on the vanity in the guest bathroom.



    The book I read was Beaches, by Iris Rainer Dart. It is about two women who met as children on a beach during a summer vacation and how they first became pen pals, then life-long friends. As the stable one in the relationship was dying of cancer (SPOILER ALERT), the drama-queen stepped up to support her friend but over-stepped by bringing the woman’s young daughter there to be with her mom against the mom’s wishes.

    Needless to say, that did not go over well, with the friend saying essentially,”You had no right. I hate you. Get out of my house, I never want to see you again as long as I live.”

    The flamboyant-bordering-on-hystrionic friend’s calm response brought me a laugh mingled with a couple of tears: “I am glad you are the crazy one for a change.”

    Grateful to report that we have both tested negative for Covid, have no symptoms, and we are approaching the ten-day mark.

    Sometimes it is better to step over an obstacle than to try to go around a difficult situation. That may be our real power….

  • Empath

    She was catching up with Facebook while listening to the story of Heidi Craig who explains how she had a near-death experience while giving birth to her third child. Heidi said the messages she received helped her practice faith and forgiveness.

    At the exact moment Heidi was speaking about having suffered so much and gotten relief when she found a group for people called ’empaths’ a post from the Empath Sanctuary popped up. Here is the information in that post. Perhaps you or someone you know will benefit. Synchronicity is God’s way of remaining anonymous….

    (The image on the post shows the empath burnout cycle.)

    FEELING GOOD
    Start to recuperate
    Energy feels better
    Ready to get back into the world

    TAKE ON ALL THE THINGS.
    Not recognizing limits
    Over-commit
    Do too much

    BURN OUT
    You’re exhausted
    Can’t do anything
    Wonder what happened

    WITHDRAW & HIDE
    Have no energy for anyone or anything
    Don’t want to ‘people’
    But also feel lonely
    Feel stuck with no motivation

  • 25th Wedding Anniversary

    She had been thinking about her husband and missing him. He passed last year at this time.

    While out for her walk she looked down and saw a quarter.

    She picked it up.

    This year marked their 25th wedding anniversary.

    The quarter is now on her altar.

    Note* Looking through some stock photos for this post I found one. When I noticed the year I grabbed a pen and paper to check what year they were married… 1998. The year of this stock image!

  • Hello, Hawk…. Hello, Dad….

    She wrote an email message to some family members and a few very close friends:

    He’s been on my mind so much this past week, of course, it’s been a year since we were sitting with him while he made his transition. But this morning, very early, I wasn’t asleep, I guess it was more of a deep resting state. Eyes closed, relaxed, but aware. It was a kaleidoscope of shadows and light and I was trying to figure out what the shapes were, but it kept spinning and shifting. Suddenly this calm feeling washed over me at the same time I realized what I was seeing – A HAWK! The hawk was the light spinning around in the shadows.

    In the past year when I’ve been out in nature – hiking, kayaking, swimming – I get a visit, usually an adolescent Cooper’s Hawk. I know it’s a message and it always makes me smile.

    I am so grateful for all of you and knowing I can share this with you and you don’t think I’m a crazy person.

    Sending love out to all of you today!

    XOXO

    One reply:

    What a wonderful experience. I do remember the hawk right outside the room in that small tree.

    Another reply:

    Oh, thank you SO much for sharing!! After my husband died I saw Visions of swirling Lights, Doves, and Owls and I thought I was crazy – and so did many of my family and friends. I was so grateful for those that knew it was my husband and knew I wasn’t crazy. And I’m so grateful that I came to understand this too. Grateful you are open and connected so your Dad can get his messages through.

    Your dad is among us for sure and his deep love lives on in each of us. ❤️

    She wrote back:

    It’s amazing that we had similar experiences with the swirling and the birds! Thanks for sharing your experience. Sending hugs!

    From another friend:

    Your sharing your experience brings such joy!

    My deepest honor is loving and being loved by one another and truly knowing that people do leave their bodies, but they do not leave their loved ones.

    Thanking each one of you💟💟💟

    She sent this response:

    Thank you for being a big part of this process! It started with the hawk in your yard.

    And this from her sister:

    I’m glad you shared this!! I knew you’d been seeing hawks and I was a little disappointed that I hadn’t seen any but on Wednesday on my way home from work I saw a large hawk sitting on the sign in the townhouse I used to live in. It was so still that I thought it was fake but I watched in my rear view mirror and as soon as I was passed it, it flew off ♥️.

    And a couple of days later from his dear friend:

    I, too, have had him in my heart these past few weeks. Not that he isn’t always close.

    On Friday, July 24th, I was leaving for my last optometrist appointment after having cataract surgery.

    Just after pulling out of our driveway, I saw a large bird sitting on a post next to the road. Since there was no one behind me and out of curiosity, I backed up about half of a block to check it out. I stopped right next to it and noticed that it was a hawk just staring at me. I actually rolled my window down and said hello to the hawk. I set there for around 15-20 seconds and it seemed unfazed by my being that close. Now I realize why there was no traffic to make me hurry on my way. It was meant to be. The hawk was a message from him. How I miss him, but receiving messages like this, I know that he will always be close.

    Unfortunately, I had to get to my appointment and had to leave.

  • For Good

    A woman from New York and another from Oregon share a connection that can only come from beyond.

    When he passed, the heart of one mother’s son went to the son of another mother.

    Saving Life Organ Donor Flat Vector Icon or Round Badge with Hand Holding and Giving Human Heart Isolated on White Background Illustration. Organ Donation and Medicine Transplantation Surgery Symbol

    Several years later when the two mom’s meet, they discover that the last song sung to the “donor” by his mother was also sung to the “recipient” by his mother.

    The song? “For Good” from Wicked.

    (Note* These two moms sang a duet on America’s Got Talent to spread the word about organ donation.)

    Because I knew you,
    I have been changed
    For good.

  • Radical Noticing

    How do we see the world as sacred again?
    By radical noticing.
    Looking for awe in all of life.

    ~ Lucy Jones posted on Gratefulness.org July 12, 2023

    Yesterday riding my bike I was inundated by awareness of the propensity to criticism. John’s clothes, the way someone says something, the decadent use of disposable bottles of water, the literal interpretation of the Bible, the killing of native grasses and planting of invasive species…. the list is endless.

    I long to see the world as sacred again.

    The world does not need to change for that to happen, but my consciousness does.

    The past few weeks I have been Zoom hosting a gathering of beings present with our meditation teacher, Barbara Brodsky. She is navigating a serious infection which got into the bone in her toe. After months of not being able to bear weight, and 9 weeks on antibiotics, she is in the wait-and-see if the infection is gone mode. Expressing that she was feeling some fear around all of this, the gathering of those willing to be with her was born.

    Barbara has spoken of our intention as “one foot for all” and “one heart for all.”

    Barbara’s closing comments Sunday, July 9, 2023:

    As I was talking with Aaron earlier this week and I was still meditating with the fear and concern about a possible amputation, he said is there any need to explore that reality of an amputation.

    I said no, but it could happen so I have to be prepared.

    He said being prepared doesn’t mean looking at the possible amputation. It means just watching fear as it comes up and knowing how to relate to that fear with love, but if you go into practicing having equanimity with a possible amputation, in some ways you are bringing energy to inviting the amputation. If instead, you simply practice loving kindness toward anything, even the mosquito bite, the thunder, whatever has disturbed your environment, just practicing love and continue to envision the perfectly healed foot.

    Last week a friend shared a body of work titled “How to Turn Your Client’s Negative Emotions into Positive Growth,” presented by Charles M. Jones. While it was not totally new information, I did have a very strong insight about the fear around managing John’s medical issues. Charles contrasts what he calls the “circumstantial view” with the “effectiveness view” of difficult emotions. The emotion we were working with was frustration. I was identifying the frustration around most of John’s complaints being the side-effects of medications: low energy, little stamina, lethargy.

    Following his process, I gained the insight that hidden beneath the surface frustration with all the medications was the concern of loss of financial independence if John would become disabled and need long-term care!

    From my journal this morning:

      V: Being prepared is fueled by fear. Notice now the thought about losing one’s money because of long-term care. Find that sweet spot of being guided in love verses being driven by fear.

    While we were in the meditation with Barbara on Sunday I kept seeing the image of an icicle. I saw aspects including the conditions which led to the formation, and both the beauty and the possible destruction. Later I read that the symbolic meaning of icicle is TEMPORARY DIFFICULTIES.

    As I visited with a friend recently we spoke of our longing to see the world as sacred. We have both navigated so much…. we share a legacy of shame.

    On the back cover of the book by Jenna Blum, one short sentence speaks volumes: “Those Who Save Us is a profound exploration of what we endure to survive and the legacy of shame.”

    Very near the end of the book the main character, Trudy (a German), is stunned that a man she has recently found such happiness and bliss with, Ranier (a Jew), is leaving. She begs him to tell her why and suggests reason after reason which in her own mind it might be. Finally, he speaks the saddest words in the world, “I do not deserve to have this. I am not meant to be this happy.”

    Trudy knew she could not argue with him because she knew that feeling all too well.

    Whoa….

    Looking again at Ken Wilber’s 3-2-1 process, I wonder if that is the key to our seeing the world as sacred. Maybe this is what allows us to see that it is all sacred. It already IS sacred. Perhaps we must do the shadow work and bring it all into the heart.

    These steps are summarized as FACE-TALK-BE and here’s how the
    technique is explained in Wilber’s little instruction book, The Integral
    Vision    : (See: 3-2-1 Process for the Shadow pdf)

      1. First thing in the morning (before getting out of bed), review your
      dreams and find someone who showed up with an emotional charge,
      positive or negative.
      2. FACE that person, holding them in mind.
      3. Then TALK to that person, or simply resonate with them.
      4. Finally BE that person by taking their perspective. For the sake of this
      exercise there is no need to write anything out—you can go through
      the whole process right in your mind.
      5. Before going to bed, choose a person who either disturbed or
      attracted you during the day. FACE them, TALK to them, and then BE
      them.

      This technique can be used not only with people who bring up an emotional
      charge, but also with situations and memories that create a disturbance.

    The same six letters make up both words.
    S C A R E D
    S A C R E D

    Whoa….

    This is the format of our time together with Barbara Brodsky on these Sunday noon gatherings: “We express our gratitude for the opportunity to come together as a group. We hold this highest intention not only for ourselves, but for the benefit of all. May all be blessed. May all be free from suffering. May all be healthy. May all be happy. May all feel joy. May all beings realize their intrinsic perfection and find perfect peace. Namaste’”

    I think I will add “May all see the world as sacred.”