Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Author: Debra Basham

  • I Wish to Give My Share

    Today’s “Word for the Day” from Gratefulness.org is by renowned poet and author, David Whyte: Being unappreciative might mean we are simply not paying attention.

    I have shared previously that we have been on an accelerated path with my nephew. He has now signed a lease, paid his first month’s rent, and this David and his emotional support animal, Junior Bear, have moved into an unfurnished space in the walk-out basement of a co-worker. David has known Terry for close to forty years. Terry’s mother lives there too. She is 80-something.

    David needed EVERYTHING.

    I sent a message to our Interfaith Fellowship list. Gifts began to arrive. A toaster oven; pillow and comforter; bath towels; odds-and-ends for the kitchen; small flat-screen TV; etc.

    I stopped at a garage sale while out riding my bike and bought a floor lamp for $3. The guy ended up gifting David a small table with three chairs and a desk.

    In response to my email, news from a friend home recovering from Covid came that her church was having their huge garage sale this week and giving me the name of a woman in charge. Patty is a long-time friend AND a former teacher who knows David from elementary school!!!!

    The church gifted David a queen-sized bed, complete with headboard and mattress pad. A friend loaned us his pick-up truck for delivery. (If you do not see the photo here, please click on the title link in this email and read from the website.)

    Another friend sent $100 for “whatever is needed” and we were able to purchase a twin-recliner sofa, end table, and chest of drawers from the church’s sale. The friend loaned me his truck again and he and his wife and Larry Gunter helped me deliver the sofa. (If you do not see the photo here, please click on the title link in this email and read from the website.)

    And David still has $15 dollars left!

    The past several days have brought some challenges. Heavy rain meant no driving the cement delivery truck and work at the shop resulted in a very painful shoulder that sent David home before daybreak. Later that day he discovered his pay had not gone onto his debit card, and his mom and Larry had to help him get that straightened out. The next day he knew he was sick with that nasty respiratory stuff going around…. The rent goes on even with three days of work missed this week.

    I sent him this big message posted on Facebook by a dear friend, Sandy, who is losing her vision from complications as a result of treatment for cancer:

    I think it’s inevitable that all of us will experience some difficult setbacks in life…we’ll be dealing pretty effectively with challenges (of all kinds) when an unexpected issue crops up and we find ourselves temporarily overwhelmed. Please don’t hesitate to share your feelings with the empathic listeners in your life. Don’t fall into the trap of pretending that your troubling feelings don’t exist OR that those feelings are the place you need to stay. Recognizing all the blessings that remain can be so helpful in finding our best head space. Today I am blessed with a great care team, a generous blood donor, creative physicians, a loving partner and adult sons who are tracking my comings and goings. There is SO much to be grateful for; I’m hoping that all of you who are facing life challenges can find your way to a hopeful and peacefilled resolution. 💖

    This morning I was reading story number 29 in Forty-Seven Stories of Jesus You Have Probably Never Heard, by Aaron, channeled by Barbara Brodsky. Jesus and his companions were attacked by bandits and left without shelter from the sun, food, and only one small container of water for all of them. When they came across a sole sheep and her newborn lamb, knowing without water there could be no milk for the lamb, Jesus said, “I wish to give my share of the water.”

    I plan to share the rest of the story at St. John UCC on October 29, so I won’t say more about that now.

    David has expressed desire for a Britta water pitcher because the water at the rental house has a lot of iron. I don’t have iron in our water here but we do have city water so we have chlorine. I actually use two Britta pitchers — filtering once for cooking and coffee or tea, then filtering a second time for drinking.

    Today I wish to give David my extra Britta pitcher….

  • Tire Swing

    Her dad had passed. Her mom some time before. The family home was being sold. Especially her sister was having a hard time letting the house go.

    Sooooo many memories. Such an amazing piece of property. Gorgeous trees. On one of them hung a tire swing their dad had built.

    Generations of their family had enjoyed that tire swing….

    They hired a couple of young guys to help with getting the house ready to go onto the market. She knew all was well when she caught sight the workers taking a turn on that old tire swing when they thought no one was looking!

    She knew their memories did not just live in his house, or in the swing he built!

    Her dad lives on in the house and in the swing he built, but his memory and his love lives on in their hearts.

  • God Numbers

    It was again time for her to have blood work before an upcoming physical. Always a stressful event with her history of white coat syndrome.

    As she was getting dressed, her bedroom clock read 11:11.

    It is said that the number 1111 holds the god number, and it is a sign of blessing, angelic presence, and the message that all is well.

    As she left the doctor’s office, her car clock read 1:11.

    There was the god number again — all about purity, self-love, and fresh starts.

    Sharing this news with a friend, she wrote, “That feels significant to me. I’m praying for healthy results. Love you and our angelic connection!”

    *Note – As I was posting this message my clock read 5:55. There are no bad numbers, and seeing multiples is a reminder that there are many unseen helping hands. Reading this online about angelic number meanings, “The universe (god) can communicate its deepest secrets through the form of repeated numbers.”

  • I Can Feel It In My Bones

    (Re-posted from Facebook with permission.)

    For me and my loving partner, this is a week of infusions, vision testing, blood work and doctor conferences. But thanks to the University of Michigan’s Gift of the Arts program, it is also another week of original art decking sterile hallways, charming clay works in cases near waiting rooms and glorious music filling the lobby while families gather, doctors and nurses take a quick lunch break and patients await the next appointment of the day.

    What a blessing for us….an incredible “coincidence”….musicians we love with whom we share a cherished history had been scheduled this day between my appointments!! As Larry guided me to a comfy chair up front, Laz, San and Emily broke into a spirited version of “I Can Feel It In My Bones,” a song they taught All God’s Children Choir more than 20 years ago! And even more astonishing, Bones has been very much on our minds as it’s the very song AGC will be performing for this coming Sundays Interfaith Action Celebration of the Harvest and the Harvestors!!

    This beloved, multitalented trio played a wide variety of tunes for an hour today. We’re sure that we were but two among many whose spirits were lifted through the gift of music! Thank you U of M….and thank YOU Sandor Slomovits , Emily Slomovits and Laszlo Slomovits! We carry each of you in our hearts!

    See Gemini Music for Children and Families


  • Make the Chili

    I shared this story at St. John UCC a few days ago:

      Make The Chili

      A good friend of mine unexpectedly lost his wife. A couple months later we were golfing together, chatting about nothing. He asked what my dinner plans were and I told him wifey wanted my homemade chili and cornbread, but I didn’t feel like stopping at the store. We golfed a few more minutes when he quietly said, “Make the chili.”

      It took me a few minutes to realize we were no longer talking about dinner. It was about going out of your way to do something for someone you love because at any moment, they could unexpectedly be taken from you. So today I’m sharing with you that wisdom handed to me by my dear friend, that I’ve thought of many times since that day. Next time someone you love wants you to go for a walk or watch a football game or play a board game or just put your phone down and give them your undivided attention, just do it. “Make the chili.”

    Today this story visits me with greatly expanded awareness.

    A precious dharma friend has been experiencing anxiety and full-blown-panic attacks, possibly a long-covid condition. In our discussion about all of this I mentioned three therapies that might be helpful. Self Havening, EFT, and EMDR. This is what I sent to her after we logged off Zoom.

    Self Havening

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQXbZmuSbFs

    A 10-minute, Self-Havening practice to reduce anxiety, enhance wellbeing, and develop compassion and loving-kindness. See neuroscienceofhealing.com for more resources.

    https://www.havening.org/

    Tapping Points and Instructional Video

    Tapping (EFT) is so powerful because it addresses the emotions that have been stored in our bodies as we developed.

    Here is the short instructional video introduction:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAclBdj20ZU

    The points are on the side of the hand, where the eyebrow begins, where the eyebrow ends on the side of your eye, under eye right on the bone, under your nose, on the crease of your chin, on your collar bone, under arm on the bra strap, and on the top of your head.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAclBdj20ZU&authuser=0

    EMDR Therapy

    Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy, commonly known as EMDR, is a mental health therapy method. EMDR treats mental health conditions that happen because of memories from traumatic events in your past. It’s best known for its role in treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but its use is expanding to include treatment of many other conditions.
    https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22641-emdr-therapy

    Our meditation teacher, Barbara Brodsky, reminds us in The Path of Clear Light: Stepping Out of the Shadow, “There is no need to fix them, though you will wish to tend to them.”

    When we sit in formal meditation, if a fly buzzes our face we resist the urge to swat or shoo it away, thus developing concentration and mindfulness. We are cultivating the gentle truth of tending to conditions. We know everything arises from conditions. We know conditions are impermanent.

    If a baby cries because it is hungry, does the mother refuse milk to teach the baby that hunger arises from conditions and will pass when the conditions cease? Of course not. The mother will tend to the baby.

    John and I have been spending time with my nephew as he makes a huge lifestyle change from over-the-road truck driving and living in the truck, to local work and being “home” every night. Complicated hugely by not having had a home or an income. The goal is to generate stability rather than becoming homeless every time he changes jobs. Today he came for home-made vegetable beef soup and cornbread and a shower.


    Just as judging “judging” is still judging, fixing “fixing” is still fixing.

    Conditions are calling us to tend to them.

    Make the chili.

  • Dream! Divine Timing

    She received this text message from a friend early that morning, “I’d like to share a dream I had last night. Please let me know if you are available today or tomorrow for a call.” She replied saying she was awake and available but heard nothing back from her friend.

    That afternoon while driving from her doctor appointment to a farm market in search of local honey, she received a phone call from the homeowner of their seasonal rental for many years. Since she had not grabbed her headset when she left the house, she did not answer, but dialed as she got back into her car with the coveted honey. They were just a few days short of one year since Hurricane Ian swept devastation through their beloved Florida community. It was a nice long catch-up call.

    Knowing she’d been gone a long time, she sent her husband a quick text message letting him know she was going on to the grocery store.

    A beep-beep came from the car pulling in right behind her, and out jumped the friend who had written about the dream! They sat on a bench just inside the store and took all the time they needed to look deeply at the symbolism in the dream before joyfully going on to their separate shopping chores.

    Coming around the corner of an aisle and seeing one another it flooded into her awareness how divine the timing had been for them to pull into the parking lot at the exact same time. “If I had not had that long conversation I would have been here and gone before you arrived.”

    Looking at her phone later she noted that she had been on the phone conversation for 26 minutes!

    Their meeting was obviously not simply about the “dream” but also about Divine Timing….

    Nevertheless, do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years is like one day. ~ 2 Peter 3:8

  • Mints and More Mints

    It had been almost 18 years since her husband had passed, at the young age of 50, so she had driven the many hours to join a local nature group for a kayaking trip once again as a “single” person.

    Arriving at the hotel to check in, there on the reception desk were his favorite mints! (See “Mints” posted December 27, 2014 in Sacred Stories.)

    A photo of the two she took was sent to a dear friend who had witnessed the appearance of the mints so many times and places over all these years. The following day, she received a photo back from that friend, saying, “On the conference table at our appointment with the Elder Law attorney’s office this moment.”


    And the attorney added a very significant detail, “The funny thing about those mints is that I just bought them yesterday. If you had been here before, they would not have been here. There would have been life savers in the bowl instead.”

    The closing line from that “Mints” 2014 post, “And she knew now that love truly is eternal. His sweet mints prove it to her over and over and over.”

  • An Experience of Grace

    Wowser, it has been a wonder-filled day. Six women were present for deep sharing following the 6:30 a.m. meditation. Three of those women I have known previously, two are new friends.

    Right afterwards I scored a Royal Flush and earned a whopping 5,000 points on the poker machine in our guest bath. In the decades we have had that game, neither John nor I have even come close to that score! I think the highest previous score was 500 points. The Royal Flush can be formed 4 ways (one for each suit), giving it odds of 649,739 to 1. This morning I had the ace, king, queen, jack, and ten of clubs!

    A bit later, my friend, Mary Anne, and I sat on the porch drinking tea. We had hoped to go for a bike ride, but now the predicted rain began to fall in earnest. She shared how sad she was feeling after the recent passing of her 34 year-old niece following five years of cancer treatment.

    We talked about how important it is to be open to communication, and just as she was sharing having talked to her niece’s fiance about that a rainbow appeared!

    We watched the rainbow hide and emerge, and hide and emerge, along with a faint double above. We both knew clearly that nature was showing us the nature of life and life after life in just the ways our hearts and words were speaking it to one another. It was an exquisite sharing.

    My nephew has had quite a journey — I have spoken of him before. After being incarcerated for many years and then working his way to release from parole, he has had a roller coaster as an over-the-road truck driver. Today he started a local job hauling concrete, but tonight he learned that he will not have access to transportation, extremely inconvenient given that the camper he has just moved onto the work lot has no electricity or water. Feeling grateful for the work but not at all sure how he can navigate life like this, he returned to the camper to find a co-worker / long-time-friend had left him a generator, a microwave, and a bag of food!


    He called a little bit ago because he had not yet been able to get the generator started. John and I went and picked up his food because he has no way to keep it cold, and does not want it to go to waste.

    As we were driving there, it came to mind how YEARS ago several of us helped the son of one of the women in our community get to work and back after he lost his license due to a DUI. He was a single dad with a young son of his own. I took him to work each Wednesday morning on my way to Kalamazoo and picked him up each Wednesday evening on my way home. Others drove one way or another. Each doing a part.

    Today I am wearing my Bee Kind t-shirt, and this evening I am reading words from Gary Zukav: “The Universe gave you an experience of grace. It provided exactly what you needed to transform an experience of a frightened part of your personality (fear and doubt) into an experience of a loving part of your personality (love and trust).”

  • Clock Chimes After 20 Years of Not Working

    The night of her dad’s visitation, they came home from the funeral home to several beautiful flowers on the steps. As they were carrying them in, they both heard the clock on the porch chime about twelve times. They went out (somewhat in shock) to see why this clock chimed after 20 years of not working.

    The pendulum wasn’t moving, but the clock chimed.

    They knew neither of them had bumped it.

    They also knew this broken clock’s chiming was a message from him!

  • Rock 107.1

    Her radio was tuned to Rock 107.1 when it started playing a Christian hymn. It can sometimes get static once in a while, but this was a clear song.

    It had never happened before, or again.

    That day, her dad had just passed.

    Often, our loved ones in spirit orchestrate events for us to hear music outside of ourselves that remind us of them. As mentioned, there are no coincidences. They work hard to send signs not only through music, but also signs you see, feel, hear, taste, and smell. These signs are their way of letting you know they are around, sending you love and comfort.

    ~ Messages in Music from Loved Ones in Spirit