Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: spirituality

  • Obituary

    Sacred Stories

    The drug store she worked in carried the local newspaper. One evening, as she was getting ready to go home, she went to the front of the store and opened the paper.

    Turning to the back page, she said to a co-worker, “I just wanted to check to see if my mother-in-law’s obituary was in here.”

    It was not.

    “Is your mother-in-law ill?” the co-worker asked.

    “I have no idea. I haven’t had contact with her in years.”

    Two days later, she found out her mother-in-law actually had died that day, but it wasn’t in the paper yet!

    These are sacred stories. Have one to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Happy Birthday Bradley!

    Twenty-seven years ago today, I became a grandma. Grandparenting has been and is one of the most glorious roles of my life, but I often say I went kicking and screaming into it. I was only thirty-nine when our daughter, Stacey, told us she was expecting. I was working full time. I did volunteer work. I traveled. I felt like I was not only too young to be a grandma, but also too busy.

    Our family has been laughing about all of the quirky names people come up with for grandmothers. Me Me, Nana, Memaw, Gigi, Yaya, Mawmaw—to name a few. My grandchildren (and countless others) call me Gammie. I wonder if I am not alone in sometimes resisting the wonderful but new.

    What I know is that I did not think about that name. It is something that slipped out of my lips like the oohs and aahs at the Fourth of July fireworks.

    Early Monday morning on January 8, 1990, that is how I introduced myself to my first grand, Bradley Joseph Zelenak. “I’m your Gammie.”

    Last year I wrote a grandmothers memory book for him for Christmas.

    Brad has the only copy for now but I may publish a slightly different version because the pages are sprinkled with wisdom he came to share.

    It is truly amazing how your sweet heart and beautiful mind processes life. The day we carved your first pumpkin it was getting late and your mom wanted you to get into the bath, but you were still having fun with your jack-o-lantern. Your grandpa had the idea to bring your pumpkin into the bathroom.

    While you can’t always have a bath by jack-o-lantern light, you can almost always enjoy a soaking bath by candlelight. In the summer of 1997, you were in the tub. You had your entire body submerged, with just your face sticking up out of the water. Because your ears were covered, you were bellowing out very loudly.

    “GAMMIE, I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE ARE SO UPSET PRINCESS DIANA DIED. DON’T THEY KNOW SHE IS IN HEAVEN WITH GOD?”

    Knowing you were attending a church in the Bible Belt, I wondered what you thought about where heaven was, so I tapped you on the shoulder and motioned for you to sit up so you could hear me. “Buddy. Where do you think heaven is?” I asked.

    Submerging yourself again, you answered the question. “WELL, GAMMIE, IT IS RIGHT HERE; IT IS IN OUR HEARTS.”

    I breathed a sigh of relief that your precious view of life had not been washed away by dogma.

    Over the years, we shared many conversations about the meaning of life. The depth of your thinking has been consistently remarkable at every age.

    I recall our being in the car one day. You may have been about four. You said you wished you had a great big house. I asked why you wanted that. You began to list off everyone in your life. You wanted us to all live together. It made me feel sad to know you were always without someone you loved.

    Another time, your grandpa and I took you fishing out at Pitcher Lake. When your grandpa caught a fish, you said to him, “I wish I was you.” Isn’t it remarkable that you did not say you wished you had caught the fish instead of your grandpa? Your disposition was so filled with empathy. You knew you would have liked to have the experience of catching a fish, but you would not have that at someone else’s loss.

    I know your life is still just unfolding, but I can see you as an important being in the world. Every stage of your life you are more aware than most. You are loving, and kind, and generous, and thoughtful, and you have a way of seeing the world that is broader than most.

    And here you are, turning twenty-seven. You recently turned down a big promotion that would have required a move because you were not willing to do for money something your heart was not in. I am still learning lessons from you.

    Happy Birthday, Bradley, from your Gammie!

  • Sycamore Tree

    Sacred Stories

    She was at a picnic with some of her church friends when she was drawn to a beautiful autumn tree. She spontaneously walked over and gave it a hug.

    Then suddenly she felt a strong urge to tell the Bible story of Zacchaeus, a tax collector. A short man, wanting to see Jesus, he climbed up in a sycamore tree. The story says that Jesus looked up in the tree, called Zacchaeus by name, and told him to come down because Jesus was coming home with him. Shocking.

    As she finished telling the story, a man in the group called her over to see something he had on his computer screen.

    “I thought you would appreciate knowing that the tree you just hugged is a sycamore,” he said.

    snip-sycamore-tree

    These are sacred stories. Have one to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Burn Healed

    Sacred Stories

    She just needed to get outside. Needed some time alone. She went to the farm and walked in the woods.

    She hated seeing trash in the stream. Some of the woods had been select cut four years earlier. Now so many saplings had grown up she could barely walk in some parts.

    Some of the large trees were leaning down toward the hollow—as if their roots couldn’t hold them straight anymore. As she realized the reason, she cried. Through her tears she apologized for cutting the other trees.

    She saw clearly that the trees had been able to stand so straight before because, over the years, they had intertwined all of their roots together. They supported each other in standing tall on the steep hillside.

    She thanked the trees for the life they had given her as she grew up.

    That night as she readied for bed, she noticed the inch-long burn on the top of her right hand was now only one-half inch and it was already a dry, sealed wound!

    WHAT A LESSON!

    These are sacred stories. Have one to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Edema

    Perhaps you remember having heard the name Dr. Saul Shaye. If not, I certainly hope this post gets your attention.

    I had swollen feet after the drive home from Tennessee for our Thanksgiving visit. I chalked that up to having eaten way too much junk.

    On Sunday (Christmas Day) I had edema. On Friday evening, we had had friends in for bunko and heavy hors d’oeuvers. I indulged in salami wraps and cocktail franks and sausage balls. Christmas Eve we did fondue with the kids. Again, these foods were much more sodium-laden than is normal for me.

    The swelling did not go down overnight, and it increased some as I was on my feet during the day so I still had some puffiness Monday. Tuesday I spent about 12 hours in the car.

    I confess to having a bit more angst about health stuff since my blood pressure crisis this past May. I had another spike in my readings (thankfully not as high as in May) the week after Thanksgiving when I was at the foot doctor for a recheck.

    This is what my feet looked like on Tuesday evening when we stopped for the night:

    That is when Dr. Saul Shaye popped into my mind. I sent him an email message, with the photo of my feet and told him, “I would appreciate a distant healing session at your earliest convenience.”

    My phone rang.

    I have previously written about having been a demonstration subject for Dr. Shaye. (See Spiritual Healing.)

    The following day, we did more driving, and then I was on my feet for hours and hours unpacking. It was a very long day and I was exhausted when I crawled into bed, but the edema was gone!

    If my relief of symptoms was all of the story, it would be amazing, but as I was busy unpacking I received a frantic text message from a friend. Her adult son, living out-of-state, has struggled with alcohol addiction. Earlier this fall he had a severe incident, and although he had said he would come home for Christmas, he did not show up.

    She made some calls and discovered her son had not shown up to work. Because of the earlier incident, the police were dispatched to his apartment. The police confirmed that he was drinking again, but since he said he was not feeling suicidal they could do nothing.

    Her son was not answering his phone. Her husband was driving there, terrified of what he might find when he arrived mid afternoon the following day.

    I suggested she have Dr. Shaye do a surrogate healing for her son. It would help her, and it could not hurt her son. She made contact and received the healing. She wrote, “Dr. Shaye went through me to my son, but I felt a huge shift and then a touch on my sternum.”

    This text message came from her earlier today:

    I just got a voicemail from my son saying he was in the same medical unit he was in earlier this year. He gave me the code so his dad could get in. I also got a call from the Human Resources department where my son works. They sent him leave papers, which means he could still have his job! I now have the number of the friend who took him to the hospital.

    Fortunately we never have to know how things might have played out for my friend’s son without the spiritual healing session with Dr. Shaye, but even the most skeptical personalities can not miss the significance of the timing of his distant healing. And we may never know what caused the edema in my feet to dissipate.

    But don’t just take our word for it. Check out Dr. Shaye’s free ebook, Bigger Little Book of Miracles. Who might need you to have a healing experience yourself and then share it with them? I certainly appreciated having just had that experience when my friend reached out in desperation. And I have great appreciation to Dr. Shaye’s willingness to be such a clear channel.

    The cost? $30.

    The result? Priceless.

  • Somebody Hit My Car!

    Sacred Stories

    It was Christmas day. She drove her new car to her parents’ home. As she parked near the barn, she said, “I don’t want to park here and have somebody hit my new car.”

    She moved the car across the street next to the house, but that did not feel right, so she moved back to the barn, headed in the opposite direction.

    As the family celebration began, she said, “Somebody hit my car!”

    A moment later they heard a crash.

    Someone did hit her new car, but because of the way it was parked, they were OK and her car was not seriously damaged. She announced the crash before they heard the sound…

    A Christmas angel had given her the gift of a warning. Fortunately, she was paying attention.

    These are sacred stories. Have one to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Opinion Columnist

    I applied for the position of an “Opinion Columnist” in our local newspaper. A good friend/writer colleague had suggested I apply.

    It might seem odd to those who might think a committed spiritual person may not have a lot of interest in the things of the world, but that is untrue. We care deeply about all of life, and we recognize our life in this world as the richest venue for development of consciousness.

    Admittedly, spiritual practices are not the most commonly recognized ways of making a positive contribution.

    For example, this quotation by Lewis Thomas that was the WORD FOR THE DAY from Gratefulness.org today: Society evolves not by shouting each other down, but by the unique capacity of unique, individual human beings to comprehend each other. An entire program of Nonviolent Communication has been developed by Marshall Rosenberg.

    When I opened the Thought for Today from Deep Spring Center, Aaron’s words fit beautifully:

    When groups get together to make a statement such as about the war, it’s easy for the fear elements of the group to become the most loudly heard. Thus in your present world it is all the more important that those of you who have some clarity and know how to be present with your fear with spaciousness, step forth and become an active voice for a force of change, a true expression of soul force, or satyagraha. You must be willing to actively involve yourself with the world rather than withdrawing from the world, for it is only by the modeling of you who are more clearly that others can learn such clarity.

    Satyagraha is the idea of nonviolent resistance (fighting with peace) started by Mahatma Gandhi. Gandhi used satyagraha in the Indian independence movement and also during his earlier struggle in South Africa.

    The best way to understand this idea is to be honest about what I am feeling. If I am feeling angry, I am adding anger to the pot. Fortunately, it is possible to desire change, to speak up against things like cruelty or injustice, and to do so with a heart of genuine love. I can even feel compassion for those I am calling forth a different behavior from.

    The Kusala Sutta from the Buddha speaks clearly to this idea:

    Abandon what is unskillful . . . One can abandon the unskillful. If it were not possible, I would not ask you to do so. If this abandoning of the unskillful would bring harm and suffering, I would not ask you to abandon it. But as the abandoning of the unskillful brings benefit and happiness, Therefore, I say, ‘Abandon what is unskillful!’

    Cultivate that which is skillful. One can cultivate the skillful. If it were not possible, I would not ask you to do it. If this cultivation of the skillful would bring harm and suffering, I would not ask you to do it.

    I will let you know if I get the columnist position. It is a nonpaid job, but my opinion might just be very valuable.

    In the meantime, just remember it is possible!

  • Dimes!

    Sacred Stories

    His friend had died of a drug overdose.

    The day after the wake, he found a dime in his suit jacket pocket.

    Two days later, on the way home he had chills and goosebumps and his friend’s photo fell off the visor in his car.

    The next day he found a dime in a jacket he had not worn for a year.

    After his grandpa passed, his grandma started finding dimes. His grandpa had told her anyone could send pennies from heaven, but she would get dimes!
    dime

    These are sacred stories. Have one to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • You ARE Love


    What is my definition of heartbreak?

    heartbreak (noun): the vast pain that we suffer in response to our expectations
    not being met in some way.
    A facet of reality as a human being.

    So if you’re experiencing heartbreak,
    be it romantic, in your work life,
    or if you feel let down by society overall,
    I’m here for you.

    Love Hurts:
    Buddhist Advice for the Heartbroken
    by Lodro Rinzler

    I did not expect to be writing about heartbreak ten days before Christmas, but these words from Shambhala Publications seem so relevant.

    Yesterday was the birthday of my dear friend, Claudia. Today, Claudia’s beloved husband, Wayne, was settled into the memory care unit of a facility about ten minutes from their home. Expectations not being met in some way? You bet.

    One year ago, another friend, Erin, gave birth to twins knowing her daughter, Ella, had anencephaly. Ella packed a lifetime of memories into her short three-and-one-half-days. Heartbroken? Understandably so. (See About Our Ella.)

    A family member is waiting for biopsy results, having received a diagnosis of cancer last week. A facet of reality as a human being.

    I cannot address in one blog post all of the people I know who are heartbroken about life, and those feeling let down by society overall.

    Last evening, Claudia and her adult daughter, Carmen, and I sat on my living room sofa wrapped in warm blankets. Zoom transported us into a spiritual group meeting being held a few hours away where we met with friends in Texas and Michigan and Canada. The message was one of love. Not just that you are loved, but that you ARE love.

    While at retreat in October I wrote in my journal, “I want to celebrate Christmas.” (See Jesus Loves Me.)

    Celebrating Christmas is not about buying presents, but it is about gifts. It was a gift to make a birthday dinner for Claudia, and a gift to be with our spiritual friends via technology. It will be a gift to spend time with Erin tomorrow, honoring Ella’s powerful life.

    Although it is early, I am making my New Years resolution: Live what Wayne said the last morning he woke up in their home, “What I know to be true is love is all that’s real.”

    Well said, Wayne.

    YOU are love.
    wayne-at-royalton-12-15-16

  • Crow Feather

    Sacred Stories

    He missed his mom since she had passed, but he thought of her often, and this day he also thought of his mom’s good friend.

    Within minutes, his mom’s friend called to tell him she had just found a Crow feather standing in her yard. Crow was one of her dear friend’s totem animals.
    janis-crow-feather

    Arriving home, imagine his shock and delight. Standing in his yard was a Crow feather!
    sean-crow-feather

    They recognized the visit from spirit! These are sacred stories. Have one to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.