Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: SCS Matters

  • The Greatest Gift

    The holiday season is a time when we do a lot of giving and receiving. One gift I received was enjoying lunch out with Jane Foster. Jane had 22 malignant tumors on her liver when her surgeon closed her up in 1999 and told her he could not keep cutting on her. He said she needed to, “Find a holistic healer.” I’ve included a link to a video interview with Jane in 2011 at the end of this post. She lights up my life…

    Jane has discovered she loves horses and I was blessed to gift Jane with one of Amy Midnite Remisoski’s adorable Pine Pony wreaths.

    Jennifer Louden’s Self-Care Minder, Year 2, #29
    November 30th, 2001
    SELF-CARE MINDER

    It’s holiday time. Do you know where your soul is?

    Have you asked soul what she wants to do and feel during this month? Can you give her lots of time to respond (a thirty-second check while in line at the bank doesn’t work so well with soul)? And after asking, would you be willing to honor what she has to say?

    Here’s an excerpt from the Self-Care Minder written this time last year:

    This is such a tender, heart-open-wide time of year. Simple things like the blood orange and lime yellow leaves wiggling outside my window and the sound of our heater coming on bring tears to my eyes. A deep yearning to nest, to deeply connect with those I love, to know soul comfort as well as I know the curve of my daughter’s smile, simmer in me.

    A spiritual longing breaks through the surface of my life and catches my heart. It is a radiant song that I can’t quite hear the lyrics to. I want to stop and listen but instead I find myself emptying the dishwasher, sweeping the floor, sorting Aunt Edna’s silver.

    Perhaps the barrier between this longing and our daily lives grows thinner during the holidays. All that is required to cross the border is courage and stillness, and perhaps a friend for support.

    We are entitled to “to feel ourselves beloved on this earth” as the writer Raymond Carver wrote shortly before his death. Yes, dear ones, we are.

    I asked my daughter what she wanted the holidays to look like and she said, “Games like hide-and-seek and sleeping giant and everybody just being together, and you know, I would like just a few presents.”

    How strong and sincere it feels to be living soulfully during these days of darkness and glitter, yearning and connecting. What does that mean specifically? To live soulfully, I am: Stopping and pausing OFTEN to ask, “What do I really want to do?” Questioning every “I have to” especially the ones that seem so IMPORTANT. Watching for bodily sensations of feeling hurried, panicked, or pressed upon, and using these sensations to wake me up to what I’m thinking and doing, and is there another choice I would rather make?

    Basically, I’m learning there is no real reason to be freaking out over when or where to buy the Yuletide tree. Reminding myself the only thing that really can’t be replaced is time with those I love: my 82 year old Dad, my 7 year old daughter, my sister, my mom, my husband and you know, they just want peace, laughter, and a little sleeping giant game once in awhile.

    I’m letting the rest go, gently, gracefully, and with a good guffaw at all my shoulds.

    Fortunately we don’t have to wait for a health crisis to discover what our sweet soul wants. A bit ago I received a text message from Jane. “I want to write a book. Because I’ve been on this journey for 30 plus years, I think I can inspire others.”

    Like Jane’s, my sweet soul wants everyone to Imagine Healing!

  • Golfing with Papa

    Sacred Stories
    She was golfing with her grandson about 9 months after her husband transitioned. His papa had taught him to golf, starting around the age of 10. He loved it, both the game and spending time with Papa while browsing for great gold gear together on sites like https://acegolfcartcovers.com/. The little guy thought the old one to use the internet this way.

    She was sitting in the cart watching her grandson tee off and imploring her husband that she hoped he could see what a good golfer their grandson was and how much he had affected his grandson.

    At that very moment a butterfly landed on the scorecard on the steering wheel of the golf cart!

    She instantly felt her husband’s presence and smiled as he let her know that indeed he was watching….

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • No Flood!

    Sacred Stories

    They were very anxious. The water bill for their winter home in Florida was about $500.

    He must have forgotten to turn the water off.

    A neighbor was going to check. They worried what damage might have been done to their home knowing all of that water had to go somewhere.

    He had forgotten to shut off the water.

    Fortunately, she had also forgotten to close the drain.

    There was no flood!

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Kaleidoscope

    Last evening I attended my brother-in-law’s wedding. He has been a care-giver for many years for the woman who is now his wife. The hospice spiritual care coordinator performed the ceremony. Theirs is not young love, and the decision for them to marry is not something everyone will understand, but it is precious none-the-less. When I crawled into a warm bed last night yoga was the only thing on my calendar for today. As I moved into my day, however, opportunities popped up. Like the pieces of glass in a kaleidoscope, my schedule has kept moving and showing me life and love.

    I was able to have lunch with my dear friend and her two young children. Her son will be two in December and her daughter is almost three months old. You can imagine how wonderFULL her life is!

    My afternoon was spent sharing with a colleague in the healing arts I met for the first time today. It was tender to appreciate one another and to witness the divine movement that brought us together. She understands the privilege to work with another. As Ram Dass says, we are all just walking each other home.

    This evening I will share a letting go ritual with a mom and her adult child who is in hospice care.

    As I let myself notice, it is obvious that everything that occurs in our days is an unfolding of the highest interest of all.

    This morning I watched a video talk by Mary Reed, author of The Unwitting Mystic. I think I would have noticed the unfolding anyway, but I appreciated Mary’s starting my day with that expanded awareness. This afternoon I also watched a video where Mary led a box exercise about our attention and shifting out of mind constructs. She says to put all of our thoughts (including all of our past, fears, beliefs, memories, etc.) into a box so we can let our mind be in service to and in partnership with Divine Love.

    Our precious life can be lived not wanting to be where we are and not wanting to feel what we are feeling. Mary says Mooji tells us to find that place which is effortless at rest within itself and be one with that. It would be marvelous if we can all slip into this place as easily as slipping into a comfortable pair of jeans or listening to a favorite piece of music.

    It was raining here again today as I was out-and-about. I observed how I had a choice to resit the rain or just notice that the wet and the wind was cold against my face as I had a judgment: uncomfortable. My body contracted. From my meditation practice I remembered simply to note aversion.

    Grateful for that awareness.

    Grateful for the opportunities to be present in my own life.

    Grateful for teachers and learners.

    The phrase, “We are each a single piece of glass in a kaleidoscope” keeps coming to my mind. We are not together by chance. We are not fastened together. Life is not some random shaking of the glass. Purpose and meaning are inherent in everything, and the placement of each piece and the subsequent shifting yields yet another beautiful view.

    May all beings come to the end of suffering.

    Here is a photo of the sweet little one I was with today:

  • Heaven is Beautiful

    Sacred Stories

    Although they had both read Peter Baldwin Panagore’s Heaven is Beautiful: How Dying Taught Me That Death Is Just the Beginning her mom passed without determining a vehicle for after-life communication. Her mom’s body had just been removed from the house. A bit numb, family members were all sitting in the living when they heard a clicking sound coming from the kitchen.

    Going to investigate, they discovered the electronic igniter on the gas stove was sparking. What a perfect communication!

    Her mother was a home economics teacher….

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • The Voice of Assurance

    Some of us are fond of saying “the devil made me do it” when we’ve done something we’re not too proud of.

    We might as well say “the ego made me do it” because the ego is our own personal “devil.”

    In God’s Care by Karen Casey

    I certainly experienced that devilish ego on Friday. I have been privileged to spend time with my nephew as he is stabilizing being a contributing member of society following time incarcerated. Old patterns revealed themselves in unwholesome ways as I pulled tightly his financial reins I had been recently entrusted to.

    Casey says, “Sometimes we like to claim that we weren’t in complete control of our actions, that we were overcome by an irresistible urge. We can’t, however, say that with a clear conscience. At one time in our addictive past, maybe, but not now. Now, we can be responsible. An urge can overcome us only to the extent that we let it – only as we give it the power of believing in it.”

    Ego would have us believe we (or others) are weak, vulnerable, without what we need. Believing these lies can make us afraid. Ego makes us afraid. I was feeling very afraid.

    Even thought I was feeling afraid, I was afraid for him, not afraid of him. Nonetheless, the way I know ego had taken hold and I was in fear not love is that my blood pressure shot sky high.

    Another quotation from, In God’s Care, “We have a choice. We can listen to the voice of our ego or the voice of God. How can we tell the difference? By how we feel. The ego’s urgings always leave us with some misgivings. God’s guidance assures us.”

    To help me begin to listen to the voice of assurance, I put my feet in some warm water, grabbed my earbuds, and tapped through her Surrogate Tapping Meditation with Jessica Ortner.

    (Note: If you are new to tapping or want a reminder, the locations you will be rotating through with each phrase as you tap along with Jessica include: (1) the karate point on the side of your hand, (2) the point where your eyebrow begins, (3) the point where your eyebrow ends, (4) under your eye, (5) under your nose, (6) on your chin crease, (7) along your collar bone, (8) under your arm, (9) and on the top of your head.)

    Please only do this when you are sincere about saying, “I infuse this situation with love… I let go of my need to control… I infuse this situation with hope… I have faith that there is a greater good behind this situation… Nothing needs to be fixed… Everything is working in a greater order… This person has inside what they need… As I see their gifts and power, they begin to see that themselves… This is a blessing in disguise… As I laugh in the presence of darkness, we are brought into the light… As I smile in the presence of darkness, we are all uplifted… Even though I perceive this situation as a bad one I have faith that there is a greater good behind this… I live in my truth… The truth that I have the power to transcend any situation… The truth that others have the power to transcend any situation… Even though I have judged this situation, I deeply and completely love and accept myself… This person has what they need… I have what I need… I have faith that this person I love will do what is right for them… The outcome is greater than I could have ever imagined…”

  • Frogs and Fairies

    Sacred Stories

    They were out on a walk. She was telling him a story she had heard in a talk about Edgar Cayce’s teachings (Fairies, Angels, and Unseen Forces). Some children were on a walk in the woods and reported seeing a fairy. A couple of the adults were able to see it, too, but not everyone was able to see it. Cayce said this is dictated by the level of consciousness of an individual.

    Just then, they noticed a very large bullfrog (about the size of his fist) sitting on the pavement. They agreed it was such an odd place for the bullfrog to be as they were quite a distance from nearby ponds or lakes.

    He helped the bullfrog to the grass, and they continued their walk.

    Later they read,”Frogs have an ancient mythology about them. Being amphibians with links to the water and the land, they are often associated with the magic of both elements. This also links them to the lore of fairies and elves.” (Ted Andrews Animal-Speak, pg. 356)

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Men’s Mission

    Sacred Stories

    He had only been out of prison 32 days. A family member was driving him to a Men’s Mission in another county. Not knowing if the Mission would accept him because he had no proof he had been in that county for 30 days, emotions on the drive were tense. He had not yet eaten today, and it was now almost 5 pm.

    Google Maps first delivered them to the women’s shelter. Someone there gave him the address for the Men’s Mission.

    Then Google Maps took them right past the Men’s Mission and on to a senior facility. Explaining that he was trying to find the Men’s Mission, a woman with kind eyes and a soft voice said, “I don’t know how the GPS got you here, we are not even on that street, we are on a different street.”

    Another woman—a colleague of some sort—stopped and got a map for him and gave him directions to the Mission. Then the two of them brainstormed other possible resources, the one woman taking time by providing addresses and phone numbers.

    He dialed the number. The person who answered the phone made a call and got him into the Mission for the night!

    Arriving there, he was greeted kindly, with these very welcome words: “You are just in time for dinner.”

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Pure, Positive Energy

    I am breathing myself into the present moment as I wait further news of the journey of my nephew, David. This morning something happened at the house in Allegan and he may not be staying there after tomorrow. He already has permission to go back to the Mission in Holland where he knows he will be safe. (See Google Maps and 70×7)

    Needing to breathe yourself into the present moment may be new to some people, but it is definitely not new to this recovering disembodied spiritual bypasser. I need to regularly remind myself, “My breath in my body, my body on the ball, my fingers on the keyboard (or in the car or on the bed).”

    From The Dharma of Dogs: Our Best Friends as Spiritual Teachers:

    I noticed how unselfconscious she was—steeped in the present moment, attentive to her surroundings and needs—and, of course, how she acted instinctively. If she wanted something, she went for it. If she didn’t like the vibe, she walked away. If something startled her, she shook it off. If someone approached her too fast or broke her (or my) boundaries, she growled at them and guarded me. She didn’t second-guess herself. She didn’t temper her natural responses or worry what others might think. She did what she did. She was what she was. And if other people or dogs didn’t like it, so be it.

    These were vital teachings for me, not only because I was a disembodied spiritual bypasser—someone who uses spirituality to escape the human experience—but also because I was a good girl, ultra-polite, a people pleaser.

    I mentioned Tina Williamson’s blog 5 Masks We Wear and Why We Should Take Them Off in a sermon given at St. John UCC in New Buffalo, Michigan, on Sunday, October 29, 2017. The Mother Teresa mask is the “Nice” Persona. Think about this as the instruction on airplanes to put your own oxygen on first in the event of an air incident. Honoring your own genuine needs is the only honest way to truly love and be there for others. You are no good to anyone if you’re drained and depleted. Taking off the Mother Theresa Mask is the beginning of self-love and it is within your reach. We break the people-pleasing habit, one moment at a time, breathing into the present moment.

    Dogs and cats (and all of nature) are essentially grounding our energy fields. Pet’s are pure, positive energy. I am a huge cat person, rarely meeting a cat I can’t love, as you can see in these photos of me with Zeus.

    Today especially, I am grateful for grounding into pure, positive energy.

  • Comcast

    Sacred Stories

    The Comcast technician was hooking up internet at their new home. She mentioned having lived in their previous home for 40 years.

    “Where was that?” he asked, seemingly just small talk.

    “On Lincoln Avenue. Just south of Glenlord Road. Did you ever notice the Johnny on the Spot Window Cleaning vans parked in the drive?” she asked.

    “No, I never did, but yesterday I did a service call for Johnny on the Spot. The guy’s name is Danny. I asked him why it was not called Danny on the spot and he told me there was a Johnny who had owned it and he had purchased the business.”

    Wow…. what are the odds?

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.