Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: karma

  • Upekka

    You have heard it said to be careful what you pray for. This past Tuesday evening, as our Dharma “Path of Clear Light” class was coming to an end, I asked for specific instructions around the practice of Upekka. Upekka is the Buddhist practice of equanimity.

    John Orr’s clarification of the Upekka practice, “All beings are heirs to their own karma. A person’s happiness or unhappiness is not dependent upon me but on their own actions and choices,” resulted in Barbara Brodsky’s offering thanks for him reminding her to keep that in mind related to her husband, Hal.

    Nothing in the teachings John shared, or Barbara’s comments, totally prepared me for the next few days of interactions with friends and clients.

    People are navigating every one of the eight worldly conditions: loss and gain, good-repute and ill-repute, praise and censure, sorrow and happiness.

    To practice Upekka is to be unwavering or to stay neutral in the face of each of these.

    The “far enemy” of Upekka is greed and resentment, mind-states in obvious opposition. The “near enemy” (the quality which superficially resembles upekka but which subtly opposes it), is indifference or apathy.

    “Do you want me to just be present with you or would it be helpful for me to offer some sort of process?” breath barely audible on either end of the phone.

    Skating on thin ice.

    Having been reading Rupert Spira’s work on nondual awareness, I pretty quickly notice the subtle grasping, the habit energy of not wanting those I care about to suffer.

    “Many of our ideas and beliefs about ourselves and the world are so deeply ingrained that we are unaware that they are beliefs and take them, without question, for the absolute truth.” ~ Rupert Spira

    The ground beneath my feet is shifting.

    “The discovery that peace, happiness and love are ever-present within our own Being, and completely available at every moment of experience, under all conditions, is the most important discovery that anyone can make.” ~ Rupert Spira

    Timing is everything.

    Richard Bandler says the best way to help a poor person is to not be poor.

    I grab the Daily Recollection and finger my mala while reading the 53rd through the 55th beads:

    I remember the practice of sati (presence):
    To be present with the breath.
    To be present with the proper object as it presents itself.
    To be present with the proper attitude: Whatever arises, I will not fixate on it. I will let my mind be free and spacious, resting in pure awareness.

    “The greatest discovery in life is to discover that our essential nature does not share the limits nor the destiny of the body and mind.” ~ Rupert Spira

    I add to Upekka the practice of Metta (lovingkindness), Karuna (compassion), and Mudita (sympathetic joy).

    I remember the great prayer: May all beings be free from suffering. May all beings feel joy. May all beings realize their intrinsic perfection and find perfect peace.

  • Fleas!

    Those who know me well know I am a real cat lover. I don’t have a cat right now, but I wrote a poem about trying to woo a barn cat into the house. It was inspired by “What a Figure Can Do!” (Craft Tip 14, page 118-125) from The Crafty Poet: A Portable Workshop, by Diane Lockward. The exercise was to write a love poem using figurative language, but not to a lover.

    Unrequited Affection

    You prowl under the moonlight,
    another of those sleepless nights for both of us,
    so I snack on molasses cookies as you eat the dinner I left for you

    Sun peeks over the barn roof as the rooster crows
    You and I watch each other warily
    questioning the ability to trust one another completely

    We deny what we instinctively yearn for
    afraid of letting ourselves fall wantonly
    into a committed relationship

    When I do sleep soundly
    I am dreaming of holding you against my breast
    someday maybe you will be able to surrender totally to that love

    Coyotes are within ear shot now
    we are both afraid
    I know I am safe inside, but I hope you quickly hide

    I saw you moments after your birth
    Watched your sweet momma lose her girth
    Buried her in the rain while you watched from a safe distance

    Neither of us has a mother,
    we both lost a brother,
    and we are not yet sure about each other

    Tomorrow morning I will run my fingers along
    the edge of the porch where the dew left your foot prints
    perhaps my scent will call you to me; I guess I will just have to wait and see

    This is no game of cat and mouse,
    I am a woman used to getting what I want, and
    I want a cat who lives in my house!

    Cats bring out something in me that can only be called LOVE. I talk kitty-talk in a high-pitched voice. I go to businesses where cats live just to visit them. I scratch cats under their chin with my finger nails, and I give them kitty-massage. I breathe as they purr.

    But this week my cat-loving has been complicated by fleas!

    Joel’s three cats have fleas. He has a big house and lots of “soft-cloth” surfaces where larva and eggs and babies of fleas can hide. Early this spring when his boy cat, Zeus, was no longer allowed to go outdoors, Joel thought flea prevention was no longer necessary. Well, we now knows fleas can live without a blood source for 100 days….

    Fleas in the carpet, fleas on the couch. Fleas on my slippers, biting me – OUCH!

    As I began helping with the necessary clean up and treatment while I was in Kalamazoo, I felt overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted, and fearful what we were doing was not enough. I was feeling all of that, but I did not want to waste the pain. All those emotions were stirred up in me so as I cleaned, I began to intentionally release times in our past when I felt those feelings. I know it as releasing karma. My actions were no longer mundane. I was not just cleaning house, I was purging body and soul. I was living forgiveness.

    Joel told the members of our book club he had never seen anyone fly into cleaning mode like I did. About 2 o’clock, when we stopped long enough to have some lunch, he was exhausted. I told him to go take a nap and he and Zeus took me up on it. They slept for about three hours as I finished up and showered.

    Life can be difficult and sometimes downright painful. And frustrating, and exhausting. There is no denying that being human is not easy. But there is so much more to life than the mundane. We are not merely human. I am grateful Joel would allow himself to go rest. He needed it. Over the years we have worked together I have contributed to pain for him. We have had misunderstandings, unskillful interactions, and awkward moments. I was cleaning up saddness, remorse, and shame. Like the eggs and larva of fleas, those things can come back to bite you unless you clean them up. Even if all we are doing is dusting and vaccumming, we can do what needs to be done with love.

    I looked up “Flea Animal Totem” online. One of the websites had this to say:
    Flea shows those of us who have felt victimized or powerless that we really do have tremendous influence, agility, self-preservation and protection abilities.

    Flea reminds us of our resilience. The harsh criticism of others may scratch away at our self-esteem, but nothing can crush our spirits if we define ourselves from within. By seeing how big we are inside, instead of focusing on small-minded insults or transgressions from without, we harness our inner strength and can fly even without wings.

    Cultivate your psychological faith and the door to your imagination will be open. Trust yourself and do not underestimate your own ability to bring about change or action.

  • Spiders!

    I am starting a two-year study with Barbara Brodsky and Aaron and John Orr. As a preparation, Barbara shared a detailed meditation/dream she had where she was asked what her highest intention was. As part of this process, a high being conducted a sort of interview. This being asked if there were those who would speak to their experience of Barbara.

    The deva of the lady bugs came forth saying Barbara had been carefully removing them from the window sill and gently taking them outdoors.

    A deva of the spiders said Barbara was fearful and had done great harm to their kind when they approached her. She admitted this was true.

    The wise being conducting the interview said, “These balance each other out.”

    As I read the rest of Barbara’s accounts, each balancing one another out, I wondered who would speak and what could be said about me.

    One of my most frequent mantras is, “May all beings come to the end of suffering.” Each Sunday morning Celeste closes our meditation with the extended version including the wish that all beings know love and find peace. Is that enough?

    Wondering if the times I have worried about finances and withheld my generosity be balanced by the times when you know you are supported by the abundance of the universe and give generously. “I am a co-signer on God’s bank account.” Do you know this truth?

    Perhaps the moments of patiently waiting in line or traffic or saying for the third time still with kindness how to do something will be able to balance my sharp tongue and unwholesome reply when anxious about something.

    What will be made of our lives? What is being made?

    I had a post-Sangha conversation on the sidewalk with Don as we were leaving the library. He spoke of the great understanding coming from a true sense of what is meant by the term karma. One might steal, cheat, lie, then find themselves on the receiving end of unkindness and true lack of safe conditions for life. If you can recognize the starting of the turning of the wheel, you can release any sense of being a victim.

    One of my earliest jobs was to count 50 gallon wooden barrels filled with cherries in bleach solution for making maraschino cherries. (Yes, before they become artificially red or green, toxic chemicals are used to make them white. Yuck!) Many dozens of barrels laid end-to-end in the wide open field adjacent to the warehouse of the cider mill my dad managed. Our job was to walk the barrels, stepping from one to the next, counting, making sure the people took what they paid for. This was the perfect home to a gadzillion HUGE yellow and black field spiders.

    In my childish fear, I did not understand the benefit of these creatures. I only knew the fear. We would catch dozens of them in jars where they would fight to the death in this unnatural lack of territory. The unnatural environment made the spiders appear fierce and hostile.

    Interestingly, years later I would discover “spider” is my one of my primary animal totems…

    Thankfully, we can come to a genuine recognition of the worth of all beings and experiences.

    The Four Immeasurables as a Traditional Tibetan Buddhist Prayer

    May all beings have happiness and the cause of happiness.
    May they be free of suffering and the cause of suffering.
    May they never be disassociated from the supreme happiness which is without suffering.
    May they remain in the boundless equanimity, free from both attachment to close ones and rejection of others.

  • Tip of a Wish

    The idea of a perfect parent, perfect partner, or perfect day makes some people nervous. They think of all the ways things don’t measure up. A headache, a heartache, or an unfulfilled longing seems to stand in the way of perfection.

    Imagine for a moment an eternity without sunshine, or rain for that matter. Perfection is organic, not static. This moment is perfect.

    Listening to a talk about what karma is and isn’t has me thinking about all of this. Karma is not punishment; it is cause and effect. Whatever we are experiencing at any given moment had its roots in the “past” and it is planting the “future.” This moment is perfect.

    Robina Courtin, quoting a Buddhist teacher says it this way, “Everything exists on the tip of a wish.”

    To fit with Valentine’s Day, I wrote a wellness tip about hugs:

    Hug for Health!
    by Debra Basham

    Debra’s Wellness Tips

    Well, it seems that love and companionship is good for your health. People in love and those with good relationships have lower blood pressure, less depression, and report feeling better over all.

    We like to hold hands, get hugs, and make whoopie. In most cases, love and wellness go hand-in-hand.

    This week, snuggle up. And it is not just people we love to touch. Petting our pets has health benefits, too.

    A dear friend commented, “I am single and have no pets. Does that mean I am destined for depression?” I wrote back telling her to take an I NEED A HUG sign to a busy place and give a blessing (what is called drishti in Hindi) to everyone who stops. I reminded her of Amma, the hugging saint.

    The wind is blowing today. I have an opinion it might be a more perfect day if it weren’t quite so windy.

    My abdomen is not quite as flat as I might think perfect.

    What I do with these thoughts, feelings, and beliefs really does make a difference now and long into the future.

    Rollo May said it this way, “If you do not express your own ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself.”

    What is on the tip of your wish today?

    I wish you a perfect day!

  • Tuesday’s Tumble and a Happy Healing

    (If you are signed up to receive blog updates by email, remember to follow the link at the bottom so you can see the photos. These are ones you will not want to miss!)

    I was riding my bike to yoga at the Y on Tuesday when a driver failed to grant me the right-of-way. I ride a lot and am usually sufficiently aware, but this time I took a nasty spill.

    WARNING: graphic photos!

    I am so grateful to the two drivers who saw what happened and stopped, and to “Doctor” Kathy Zerler and fellow students for patching me up and helping me get through class. I was able to ride my bike home and see a client before I knew I needed emergency trauma treatment.

    I had major road rash on my right elbow and wrist, and although I had little visible damage there it was my left elbow that was in excruciating pain. Words cannot express how much I appreciate Leah Ke at Lakeshore Acupuncture for staying at the end of her day and treating me. One needle going in to my right knee to treat my left elbow resulted in a scream that she said could have brought down the roof. “That is the point,” she calmly said, as I sobbed. I was shaking inside from a full adrenaline rush. Leah sent me home with herbs and I fell into bed exhausted from the day. During the night it was difficult to turn over, to get down or up, and I hurt all over. I could not get myself up from the toilet seat, so I just straddled the bowl.

    Wednesday morning I struggled getting dressed with only one arm, could only use my right hand to brush my teeth and hair. I could not get my left hand to my face, and just carrying my arm was a challenge when I went for a walk. Through all of this, waves of compassion for those who have lost an arm or lost the use of an arm would wash over me. My heart felt raw with a sense of the blessing that I had no broken bones and the knowing my bruises and scrapes would heal.

    As I walked along with my left arm in the makeshift sling of my fanny pack, a past-life surged forth in full-blown cellular memory: My father was a senator in ancient Rome. We were in a balcony overlooking a courtyard where below a Christian was being persecuted. I raised my arm and yelled out in protest. My behavior brought shame to my father, so to save face he was unable to prevent my being punished. The punishment? Having my arm crushed!

    Last week I was reminded of a past life where my brother and I physically fought over the inheritance of our father’s kingdom: I cut off his arm and he cut off my head, we both died.

    Instantly, I felt the connection of these events to this current injury. “All time is in all time,” I could hear Angel Gail Konz saying. No past, no present, no future, just this eternal moment. You may have heard the saying everything that ever was is, and everything that will ever be also is. I knew the truth in my core. Karma was being released through this experience.

    Now, this is the most amazing part.

    I slept comfortably Wednesday night and Thursday morning I was able to use my left arm!

    The acupuncture and herbs administered by Leah were a key component to my rapid recovery but I also recognize the trauma that was released when I screamed out during the acupuncture was not just the current trauma. It was ancient….

    Three days after the bike accident, the bruises on my hands are totally dissipated and I have absolutely no residual injury in my left arm.

    The scrapes and the bruises on my knees and legs are still healing. I imagine we are all healing on all levels for all time. I was so blessed we can see that clearly this week.