She sent a tree emoji in a text message to a friend, including one with the yoga tree pose.
A little later during a gathering via Zoom, several people expressed how trees help them get or stay grounded and centered. Late arriving to the group, one woman explained that she had been painting a tree, and even turned her iPad around to show the group the trees outside her window!
While her phone’s ringer was off, she had received a text message from another friend. That friend was sharing a video of her baby daughter looking out the window, talking to the trees.
The baby was so engaged with the trees she did not even respond when her mom softly called her name a couple of times.
The only words in the text message were: She knows about the š² š³
After his uncle passed, he received a message to give to his aunt. It was the light-hearted song “You Are My Sunshine.”
Although he felt a bit awkward with the message, he felt compelled by his uncle’s spirit.
His aunt was so touched!
“That was our song!” she exclaimed.
They both knew he could not have ever guessed or made that up.
This mind, which is unborn and primordially pure,
is spontaneously present from the very beginning!
~ Flight of the Garuda, by Lama Shabkar, Tsogdruk Rangdrol
During break time on the last day of their meditation retreat, out for a bike ride, she stopped to take photos of some gorgeous blossoms on the side of the road.
June afternoon dharma talks under the catalpa tree… blossoms drifing down on them. Fabulous fragrance. She knew the photos would be precious to her meditation teachers, and a friend who always attended the retreats too.
She had ridden this same route the day before but had not noticed the blossoms. How could she have missed them? They were so beautiful and there so many of them!
Sharing the photos with her sister they realized it was soooo significant for her to have seen the blossoms on Father’s Day. Their dad owned and operated a bait and tackle shop, and he always gathered the worms that fed on the catalpa trees!
She shared this story with another meditation group a couple of days later. Several in the group had connections with catalpa trees, and one woman shared an amazing story. She had been told to choose a tree, put her forehead against that tree, and imagine connecting to the lead fairy of that specific tree species. Artists, they were to be able then to draw or paint the image. She chose a catalpa tree.
Her fairy image was an Aboriginal-like child with wings where the ears would be!
In the middle of the fairy’s forehead was a spout, out of which light and love and wisdom and blessing poured down upon anyone who was looking up at the tree.
After sharing her drawing, she learned that the noun ācatalpaā derives from the Creek katĆ”Åpa, a compound word that translates literally as āwinged head.ā
“Skies upon skies are available for your flight.”
– Osho Zen Tarot
I feel a little bit like the morning after Christmas, or the ninth day of Hanukkah. For the closing sharing of this eight-day Intensive/Retreatāthe culmination of a two-year commitment to study and practiceāI had written: When I logged on this morning, Dallas was the only other one online. I asked him about his virtual image in his background ā a waterfall. I showed him a photo of me, also at a waterfall in Maui. We had a lovely visit and I am so glad we sharedā¦
That photo of me at the waterfall is framed and sits on my altar helping me value the dharma path that began long before I knew the word dharma.
I was born in fear and I was living in fear. Not MY fear, but THE fear. My mother was informed that she had syphilis simultaneously with the discovery that she was pregnant. My first trimester in her womb was spent with my mom at a sanatorium being treated. She was angry, embarrassed, afraidā¦.
My alcoholic father had had sex with someone else, and that is how my mother got infected. I knew nothing of this until in my 40s when I began to have awareness of feeling unloved, unsafe, and unwanted. I was a successful professional, happily married, and I had had a good relationship with my mom. Nothing could account for those feelings, but I knew they were there.
I knew I would benefit by uncovering the pain.
In a hypnotic regression to the womb, hearing Les Crane sing Desiderata to me through headphones I had total realization of those feelings. Later I asked my mother if she could help me understand. She told me of the syphilis.
Many of you were there when I shared this as part of āListen to Your Motherā and it is still available on YouTube.
The fear I lived with, the feelings of not loved, not safe, not wanted arose out of the human condition. I am so grateful to know the truth. Those feeling, any feelings, are not me nor mine.
Instead of sharing all of those words as my closing, I simply shared a series of photos of the sky taken from the window in the guest/room office where I was “on retreat” for those eight days, and where I am now with my fingers on the keyboard, looking at the ever-changing sky:
Aaron’s closing talk was brief and to the point: You have everything within you
to co-create a future
for the highest good of all beings.
A future where beings are awake,
free of suffering.
Two years ago,
we did not know that
there was going to be
a COVID-19 in our future. But of course,
there would be something
in our future.
Some challenge.
And you are meeting it with
wisdom and open hearts. Please do not forget to imagineā¦
to hold your heart open
and picture an earth free of disease,
free of hatred āan earth in which
all sentient beings
can truly flourish.
May it be.
May it be so.
As you speak, so you see
As you see, so you share
As you share, so you become
I am on retreat, and am living the spirit of the law (rather than the letter of the law) by writing a blog post. This intensive / retreat is the culmination of a two-year “Path of Clear Light” study with Barbara Brodsky and Aaron (and a cast of other enlightened teachers). The past semester has been working with sacred darkness. Groundwork is now being laid for a third year: Co-creating with Spirit. This focus is how we move from being in tension to the intention to invite and allow support. Namely this: How do we INVITE the world as we want it to be? How do we INVITE the expression of the self as we wish it to be?
We were led on a guided meditation and then instructed to take paper and crayons or markers or colored pencils and draw this sacred wish for our being in the world. Most of us in my small group commented on our unskilled artistic abilities. There was no lack of skill in the articulation of our sacred wishes….
I did a doodle process where you place a writing instrument on the page, close your eyes and move it around until guided to stop. Open your eyes and turn the page different directions until you see something come into view. The rules are you can embellish or not, add or not, highlight or not. I like those rules.
After I had completed my drawing, I wrote these notes in my journal: I know I take human form in the world as it is. The big shift is instant manifestation. I see people able to transport via thought, create via thought, destroy via thought. Suddenly, I get a jolt of fear — not trusting human ability to manifest from love and wisdom. I choose the intention to invite and allow release of this fear and I hear, “This is the way.”
The words on my drawing that are featured in the top center of this post were written with my nondominant hand. The words on the right side of the drawing were not.
I am the world around me.
What you give birth to has it’s own independence and free will. (Aaron had said this, but including this one might be influenced by learning that I am going to be a great-grandma.)
Everyone has a double and a mirror opposite. Find yourself.
Life expression is joyous.
In my doodle, I included a small section of a process called Zentangle which I learned from Carol Myers. Those words are: I AM LOVE.
Yesterday and today I have thought of the title of the book “When Women Were Birds: Fifty-Four Variations of Voice” by Terry Tempest Williams. Her mother bequeathed Terry all of her journals, with the promise not to open them until after she had passed. Three shelves of journals were blank….
I opened email this morning to the BK Thought for Today:
No Complaining Zone
If you approach life complaining about what’s missing then you’ll be dissatisfied. Satisfaction comes from knowing things can always be improved but at the same time appreciating what is right in your life right now.
And Aaron’s Daily Quote:
When you say, ‘Thy will be done,’ you’re not saying, ‘I’ll do whatever you want,’ you’re saying, ‘I obey this sacred sound within me, this sacred wisdom and clarity and love. I will listen for that and no matter how quiet it is and no matter how loud ego’s voice is, I will keep coming back to that sacred vibration within the heart. That is the will I will follow and not the voice of the ego.’
Perhaps this new world is simply the sacred vibration of love and clarity in a no complaining zone….
I sincerely hope there is not a limit on the frequency of blog posts, as my process is being jarred profoundly by EVERYTHING.
This morning I saw Facebook photos of Stacey (my daughter) and her friend on the pontoon boat on Sunday. Beautiful smiling faces, cheek-to-cheek, looking into the camera: I instantly became aware of the contractions. I am currently writing my July Beyond Mastery Newsletter article for July on the theme of maskers and nonmaskers, placed alongside the story of the Sneetches, by Dr. Seuss.
Further amplifying my inner uneasiness was the reading this morning of poems by two of my Florida poet/friends: “A Disheartened Heart” by Gail Berreitter, and “Second Sight” by Helen Fox. Please understand, these poems are both excellent writings, but they hit too deeply at the core. Slipping in beside the dystopian sentiment expressed in the poems was my confusingly constant companion question about Stacey: How does she arrive at the conclusion that it is OK to expose folks?
Underneath that question is the pain: Less and less do I feel it possible to be with her.
More and more I hold sadness around all of that.
My friend, Jane Foster, so high risk, speaking of meeting for lunch sooner rather than later. (Our “bat cave” favorite restaurant was opening yesterday.)
I write all of this in my journal, then ask my inner being, “Where is the core of fear I feel?”
V: Are you sure it is fear? Are you afraid to die? Are you afraid to be dead? If it were not fear, what might it be?
D: It is a deep sense of sadness. Like the core loneliness of having felt misunderstood much of my life.
V: We know you just bumped into your mother’s social phobia. The world cannot get small enough for you to live without risk. To live a human life is the risk! But, what is at risk? Only a false identity is at risk. Who would you be without that false identity?
D: Free?
V: Free from what? Free for what?
(Note – at this point, I felt guided to turn to the Mala Recitation / Daily Recollection Barbara Brodsky put together, and I am drawn to these beads:
Bead 56: For one who clings, motion exists; but for one who clings not, there is no motion.
Bead 63: Whatever has the nature to arise has the nature to cease and is not me nor mine.
Bead 64: When wholesome thoughts arise, cultivate the wholesome. When unwholesome thoughts arise, abandon the unwholesome.
Bead 65: This is the way to purify the mind and remove the clouds that obscure the vision of ultimate reality.
Bead 70: All dhammas are empty.
Bead 71: They are not born nor annihilated.
The closing two lines from Gail’s poem:
No melody or thought
for a disheartened heart.
The closing two lines from Helen’s poem:
“What have we learned from this crisis?”
There were no definitive answers
Out riding my bike earlier, I would notice the repetitive fearful thoughts and just keep repeating Bead 64: When wholesome thoughts arise, cultivate the wholesome. When unwholesome thoughts arise, abandon the unwholesome.
This early morning is so quiet…. in the stillness of this moment I am feeling the dawn and I am keenly aware of the possibilities alive in this moment.
A melody awakened in my mind as I sat, and I let the stillness be enhanced by listening to a song I know well, by an artist I have personally met. “In the Stillness” is from the album Let it Shine, by Karen Drucker.
Two months ago today, I arrived home in Michigan from wintering in Florida. (See Nothing is Not the Divine.)
We began safe-sheltering in Florida on March 15, and we have continued to safe-shelter since our arrival in Michigan.
But things are starting to open up. When I ride my bike, the quiet is again more intruded upon by cars whizzing by.
How do we take the benefits from this “retreat” time as our lives move outward into the world again? How do/will I? How do/will you?
Deborah King, author of Be Your Own Shaman, and Heal Yourself and the World sent out a message about the June (05-06) 2020 full moon, which is also a lunar eclipse.
[T]here is an opening to bring the unconscious to the conscious level for healing and transformation.
And this full moon combined with the lunar eclipse has this depth tenfoldā¦
In Vedic astrology, eclipses herald change. Combine that with Marsās energy for making something happen, and Neptuneās energy for oneness, and we have a recipe for people gathering to create necessary change thatās long overdue.
People gatheringā¦. Onenessā¦. Healing and transformation.
I was one of the first individuals in my world to choose to safe-shelter. I may be one of the last to choose to gather. It is certainly my intention to choose wholesome actions for the good of all.
Today, I will reflect on some of the gifts this time has brought forth. I have certainly made more home-cooked meals. I have not packed a travel bag since December 1, 2019 ā the day John and Stacey and I left Tennessee and made the drive to Pine Island. This from a person who had spent most every Wednesday driving the 50 miles to Kalamazoo. I was seeing clients at Kalamazoo Psychology, various other offices, then at Borgess Integrative Medicine. Each week I would stay overnight in Parkview Hills. Over 20 years of co-writing and collaborative working.
The furnishings of the office here in Saint Joseph are currently boxed up, and everything has been moved to the new location. Touch therapies are scheduled to be allowed to open again on June 15.
Choices, choices, choices….
I have certainly done a lot of meditation and I have certainly practiced patience. I have ordered things I wanted/needed online. I have become acutely aware of the difference between wants and needs. I have been content to make do with what I have. I have been content and known how blessed I truly am, in the stillness of this moment. Groceries have come once a week or so, ordered on Instacart, and delivered to our door by good friends, Linda and Larry.
Linda told me last evening that she is going to start going to the store again. She has offered to continue to shop for us if we choose. That is so kind.
Not shopping is my current choice.
Linda said she likes shopping, and she has been out for a few things the past couple of weeks and has appreciated seeing for herself the appropriate precautions that are in place. She feels it is time for them to start generating a more involved living ā of course, with continued wearing of masks and social-distancing.
Always we are making choices.
Today, let’s make the choices that create necessary change that’s long overdue….
What do you see? When you look at the world, what do you see? This is not a frivolous question, and it may be one of the most vital choices you make for yourself and our world.
This morning the Buddhist group that gathered for meditation via ZOOM spoke of the violence that had erupted in Minnesota, and spread from there. One couple shared information indicating the violence likely was done by an international trouble-making group that uses social media to organize. Most (maybe all) of those protesting were genuinely peaceful.
We, of a certain age, remember all too well the racial tensions from fifty years ago, and many were involved in working toward justice and harmony. What I found almost as disturbing as the news of the violence and destruction was the expressed emotions of helplessness and discouragement and sadness generated by watching the new reporting. If my Dharma brothers and sisters who are committed to lovingkindness and equanimity can lose touch with their light within, what about those who have not practiced access to a balanced world view?
Last evening, while some were watching the distressing news, John and I were watching the season premier of America’s Got Talent. AGT is not a show I normally watch, but, a friend had been persistent in encouraging me to watch it. I had actually turned it on the night before when I crawled into bed, and I watched a couple who train pigs to do acts like you normally see dogs do in the circus. I fell asleep. I told Linda, but Linda is a friend who knows me well. She simply said again, “It was one of the best we have seen, and I think you will be glad you saw it.”
Two of the acts I watched show an amazing world view. The first was Archie Williamsāa man who was wrongfully convicted of rape. Archie was arrested in 1982, and imprisoned in a Louisiana prison the following year. Archie spent 37 years in prison for a crime he knew he did not commit. Finally, forensic evidence proved he was innocent, and he was released in 2019. You owe it to yourself to search for and watch the entire nine-minute version of Archie’s singing āDonāt Let The Sun Go Down On Me.ā Archie told AGT, “My body was in prison, but my mind was not…. Prayer and singing got me through.”
A person can sometimes let a mind be in prison even though a body is not.
The final America’s Got Talent act was “Voices of Our City Choir” which was founded in 2016 by San Diego resident. While living downtown San Diego, Steph Johnson, a jazz singer-guitarist, met a lot of talented musiciansāpeople living in shelters and on the street. Today her nonprofit operates several music and advocacy programs, has a choir of over 225 people, and distributes approximately 7,000 pounds of food per week! The group wrote the number it performed on AGT: “Sounds of the Sidewalk.” Another nine-minute video, as my friend said, that is definitely worth watching….
Tomorrow is the first day of June. I am excited to look at the Magic Eye calendar image for the new month. (See Our True Nature.) My sister, Janis, and I are both excited. Regardless of the news, we get to turn over a new page. We will meet over some device and we will together see what beauty is hidden in plain sight, depending (of course) on your world view….
This morning, like almost every other morning since the middle of March, I enjoyed practicing yoga with my dear friend, Kathy. Right now, we are meeting via ZOOM, and recording the videos for her YMCA classes. It does not appear likely that our (mostly senior) students are going to be Studio B any time soon.
Amelia Vogler, Executive Director of HTPA (Healing Touch Professional Association), sent the membership an email message today which included a link to “When Life Is Good Again” which was premiered exclusively on Entertainment Weekly on the 27th of May, 2020.
Dolly Parton was inspired by the COVID-19 quarantine. She told People of the quarantine in April of 2020, “We will come out on the other side of this, and we’re all going to be better people for it. Take care of each other from afar and continue to send love to your friends, family, and everyone suffering.”
I resist grasping at social-distancing being necessary for so long that it no longer feels odd. I resist clinging to the ease of hugging those I want to hug when I want to hug them, meeting for hours of sharing over tea, having a house filled with musicians, and doing jigsaw puzzles with friends.
Dolly’s last stanza says is all:
God’s the reason for all things
You want rainbows, you get rain
We’ll all be forever changed (Forever changed)
I’ll sell my boat and fly my kite
Walk in the park, go out at night
And hold my loved ones extra tight
When everything is on the mend
I’ll even drink with my old friends
Sing and play my mandolin
We’ll make it through this long dark night
Darkness fades when faced with light
But everything’s gonna be alright
When life is good again
The next email message I opened was Alan Seale’s weekly newsletter, also dated May 27, 2020. Forwarded by my friend, Roann Altman, moving home today after having spent these past couple of months quarantined with a friend with cancer. Roann’s friend, Richard, transitioned this week. In the newsletter, Alan quotes Etty Hillesum, a Jewish diarist who lived in Amsterdam and died in Auschwitz in 1943.
Through me course wide rivers
and in me rise tall mountains.
And beyond the thickets
of my agitation and confusion
there stretch the wide plains of my
peace and surrender.
All landscapes are within me.
And there is room for everything.
Yes, there is room for everythingin your heart at this time….
