Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: body

  • Learning to Succeed Differently

    Jack and Cindy continue to amaze me with all they are navigating. They wanted to come from Harrison to Bristol, Indiana, where his son and daughter-in-law are seasonal campers at Eby’s Pines Campground. It was Jeff’s birthday and the end-of-season super soup supper event. Jack had been there for that in the past and has lots of friends at the campground. Saturday they made the trip. Over 200 miles. More than three hours.

    We were supposed to drive down to Jeff’s house Saturday evening to visit a while and deliver chocolate chip cookies I baked for them, but by that time Jack was really tired. We agreed to drop off the cookies on our way to New Buffalo where I was guest pastor in New Buffalo Sunday morning.

    Before we left our house, Jack called. “Stay where you are. There is no heat at Jeff’s so we are loading up and heading to you.” When they got here, rather than have Jack get out of the truck, up the steps onto our porch and into the house for such a short visit, John and I shared some memorable moments with them in our driveway. Shortly after nine they left so we could get to church. Heading back home, they planned a stop at Michael’s for Cindy to get craft supplies.

    We got this message from Cindy about 9:15 Sunday night:

    Well, we just got home probably about 20 minutes ago. Jack wanted to stop at Four Winds, so we did.

    Then we had to stop at FireKeepers. Overall, we did pretty good. We ate Chinese at FireKeepers so that was our dinner. We’re having dessert right now — your cookies.

    Sweet dreams we’ll see you when we see you. Love you.

      It was a big weekend as Saturday was also Stacey’s 60th birthday. It does not seem possible that John and I are parents to such a mature woman. She and Doug celebrated by inviting family and friends to join them for Bluegrass Barnside at Arrington Vineyards.Even with so many significant folks unable to attend they had a great group.

      Stacey told us it was like having a living Celebration of Life. We have used those same words about Jack….

      Sunday’s theme of “Living with Intention, or Living in Tension” was exquisitely expressed through Jack and Cindy and Stacey, along with a host of others we know well and love deeply. The following was copied from FaceBook and seems to speak welcome wisdom to our world:

      I Am Learning to Succeed Differently by Helyn Cornille (Copied from FB)

      There was a time when success meant finishing.
      If I started something, I finished it.
      If there were stairs to climb, I climbed them.
      If there was work to be done, I kept going until it was done.
      I don’t live in that body anymore.
      And one of the hardest things about growing older has been learning that this does not mean I have stopped succeeding.
      Today I may look at a staircase that needs cleaning and know I cannot stand there and clean the whole thing.
      But I can sit on one step.
      I can clean what I can reach.
      Tomorrow, perhaps I can do another.
      The old me might have looked at what remained unfinished.
      I am learning to look at what I did.
      That sounds like such a small distinction.
      It isn’t. Because when our bodies change, we can spend an enormous amount of energy measuring ourselves against the person we used to be.
      What I could lift. How far I could walk. How long I could work.
      How quickly I could finish.
      But perhaps success was never really about any of those things.
      Perhaps success is simply continuing to participate in your own life.
      Finding another way.
      Resting when you need to.
      Starting again when you can.
      Doing something in ten small pieces instead of one heroic effort.
      And refusing to believe that adapting is the same thing as giving up.
      I am still learning this. Some days I am better at it than others. But there is something unexpectedly freeing about no longer asking, “Can I still do what I used to do?” and beginning instead to ask, “What can I do today?”
      There is almost always an answer. And sometimes it is enough.
      I am learning to succeed differently.

    1. Grow Through What You Go Through

      Light rain was tap dancing on the metal roof of the lanai as I sat in the darkness waiting for the sun to make its debut thinking about a dear friend of mine whose brother-in-love is going to be having lung cancer surgery soon. She has been a champion of ours for decades, having thrived through cancer herself. A video interview of Jane’s Imagine Healing Journey is featured on our website.

      I imagined her sharing the Imagine Healing process with him….

      Opening email from The Daily Tejaniya I read: “Practice with the idea of not trying to create an experience. Instead, just take your experience as it is and try to learn from it.”

      You can see the middle path!

      Doing the process of Imagine Healing supports the central nervous system so the physical body has the best opportunity for healing. Having done the process, you are much more capable of being present to learn through your experience.

      Our granddaughter is going through a lot right now. I sent her a photo of a sweatshirt I had seen on Facebook with the words: Grow through what you go through.

      A quick internet search for that phrase took me to a sweet website which listed 12 Hacks to Grow Through What You Go Through. Number 3 on the list is about how you can grow through your fears.

        We don’t run from our fears; we go through them. To get past our fears, we need to do three things:

        1) acknowledge them,

        2) let them go, and

        3) replace them with something else.

      That list took me to a post by another Facebook friend and colleague, Lisa Gordon (I was trained in Healing Touch by her mom, Janet Mentgen). Lisa posted a sweet reminder from “The Female Hustlers” offering a perfect way to navigate these last days of December 2023:

        De-cember
        de-clutter
        de-tach and
        de-lete
        anything that
        de-values your life.
        Don’t bring
        it into 2024.

      Whatever is happening in your life right now, may you grow through all you go through.

    2. Transformation

      Recently, I included some information about transformation from J. Krishnamurti in my clergy “Insight’s” article.

      Transformation is said to occur only when NONE of the following are present:

        desire to change the experience
        judgment
        analysis
        justification
        grasping
        selfing
        resisting
        believing that “I am witnessing”

      Since the coronavirus stay-safe-at-home order in March, I have done daily yoga with Kathy Zerler. We started out by phone, but when it became obvious that the YMCA could not safely and legally hold the classes onsite any time soon, we started recording her yoga classes using Zoom. Kathy’s videos are available on Youtube by putting “Kathy Zerler yoga” into your search engine.

      This morning I had a heart-felt experience of transformation — exactly as Krishnamurti describes it — during the guided meditation at the end of class. “Your World is Your Greatest Creation” was published in Kathy’s Joyful Meditaions:

      Imagine yourself on a solitary beach at sunset. You are very relaxed after a long day…

      You come upon a raft that is half on the beach and half in the water. Your name is written on a flag that waves from a mast in the center of the raft. You understand that this raft is yours to use for as long as you need it. You decide to load up every person who has ever hurt you. Politely, you help each person onto the raft. When they are all seated, you toss in the baggage they have heaped on you along with a few things of your own that you no longer need. You push the raft out toward the setting sun and watch as these people and their baggage float out of your life.

      You are allowed to let them go. Just let them go….

      I have heard Kathy do this guided meditation several times before, but something truly remarkable happened today when the only person that got into the raft was me!

      I was alone in the raft and I could see clearly that only my distorted thoughts, beliefs, attitudes had hurt me.

      I gently oared the raft toward the setting sun in perfect peace.

      Transformation….

    3. Page 166

      Sacred Stories

      I walked out of my office, having just posted a Sacred Story titled: Like Talking to Your Dad Again!. He had passed 49 days ago, and his daughter was having a sense of his presence.

      My husband was sitting at the dining table reading a book about the history of our area.


      He asked what I was doing, and I mentioned having just posted the sacred story about our friend.

      “I am looking at a photo of him right now,” her husband said, pointing to a page in the book.

      I immediately sent a text message to his daughter. “I just came out of my office having published your sacred story and here is a picture of your dad on the page of a book my husband is reading.” I sent her a copy of the cover of the book, and the photo of her dad. “Your dad’s photo is on page 166!”

      “That is….I don’t know what word describes it!” she texted back.

      “Now your dad is just showing off,” I responded.

      “He always did have a flair for the dramatic,” she shot back.

      Be mindful of your experiences so you can recognize and share your sacred stories. They lift us all up….

    4. My Longings

      “Strive to be uncynical,
      to be a hope-giving force,
      to be a steward of substance.”
      ~ Maria Popova
      Bulgarian-born, American-based writer

      Last evening as we finished dominoes via Zoom, I asked what the most significant news of the day was. My friend said probably that the Trump administration ordered hospitals to bypass the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and send all COVID-19 patient information to a central database in Washington, meaning that the CDC was no longer going to have access to the real-time data about the coronavirus.

      I had a heavy sensation low in my gut.

      I drew the 5 of Clouds, Comparison, from the Osho deck before I went to bed. I sent the message to my friend. “Just look around. All is needed, and everything fits together. It is an organic unity; nobody is higher and nobody is lower, nobody superior, nobody inferior. Everybody is incomparably unique.” I slept rather fitfully.

      When I woke this morning, I knew I was dreaming again, but these images like the past several dreams of children needing support are gone before my feet hit the floor.

      My mind is very clear, however, about the “Say Only” story of the importance of reserving judgment as things are unfolding. I first read this story in The Eye of the Storm by Max Lucado. I have since learned that it predates Lucado and Christianity, and is still true….

      Perhaps President Trump will be able to report data so that those who have discounted the gravity of the virus and been defiant about protective measures will be able to tolerate (hear) the truth from someone they trust.

      I must begin by calling forth my own trust and calling forth his higher guidance.

      I looked back over several recent Daily Quotes from Aaron:

      July 8, 2020
      When enough of you are ready to hold the real vision of a world at peace, where beings do not manipulate, steal, kill or otherwise harm each other, the capacity to hold that vision will emerge in world leaders. You will call them forth. They do not lead you so much as you invite them! The effective leader can only walk where some are ready to follow.

      July 13, 2020
      Bring into your heart and mind the president of this country and others who help to guide him as he makes his decisions. He has a difficult job. You may not agree with his decisions. But certainly you will agree that in his deepest heart, he hopes that his choices for this country will bring peace in the long run if not sooner. This is a man under enormous pressure and he needs your loving wishes even if you say no to his choices. ‘As you strive to guide this nation, may your heart remain open to love and as free as is possible from fear. May you be happy and find peace.’

      July 14, 2020
      You are ready to take this step, ready not only to be awakened but to help the whole Earth awaken, each of you in your own way. I’m not suggesting you’re all going to be like the Buddha, with his path. Your way of awakening the Earth may simply to be to plant an enlightened garden, a garden of plants that you co-create rather than order around. How do we co-create with the Earth? How do we co-create with each other? How do we use our power and unlimitedness in ways that do no harm?

      July 15, 2020
      You as a world are inviting conflict but then not doing the needed practice with it, so you must invite it again and again. You are like the child in school doing endless multiplication table drills; they are unpleasant but you have not studied the tables, and will not, so the teacher repeats the drills. Your inattention calls forth the repetition. If you wish the drills to cease, learn the tables.

      Aaron’s daily quotes are not selected. The quotes were placed into an archive, and each day one is randomly generated. Some quotes may have never been published, some pop up with regularity, and I have seen some publish two days in a row. Aaron himself established this random generation as a condition when the Daily Quotes began to be shared.

      The impact of the coronavirus, and the divisiveness of of sisters and brothers is unpleasant. Wish the drills to cease; learn the tables.

      Sue Monk Kidd’s novel, The Book of Longings, is a mesmerizing work of fiction. Ana—a rebellious and gifted young woman of Galilee, meets and marries Jesus. Before their meeting, early in the book, we witness Ana in a clandestine rooftop meeting with her aunt, Yaltha, another unusual woman of the time.

      “Do you know what an incantation bowl is?” Yaltha asks Ana. “In Alexandria we women pray with them. We write our most secret prayer inside them. Like this.”

      Yaltha places a finger inside the bowl and moves it in a spiraling line around the sides of the bowl. “Every day we sing the prayer. As we do, we turn the bowl in slow circles and the words wriggle to life and spin off toward heaven.”

      My most secret prayer has been written into my “incantation bowl” and I will sing this prayer every day: May all beings be happy and find peace; may we awaken wisdom mind; filling the universe with love; joy; kindness; and compassion.

    5. Moth Magic

      Sacred Stories

      When she woke up, she walked outside and this beauty was on the door.

      Automeris io, the Io moth, is found throughout the eastern half of the United States, as far west as Utah, Colorado, and Texas. Its range extends as far north as Quebec, Ontario, and southern Manitoba, but as with many other moth species, it is less common now in parts of its range.

      Just the evening before she had sketched this Emperor gum moth in preparation for her Young Naturalist nature sketchbook class scheduled for this very morning:

      While it was not the same species of moth, it is just as beautiful, and magical. She had never seen this species in her area before.

      She wrote: Life and art…. art and life…

    6. I Concur

      The weather changes very quickly. At 8:45 today, my friend sent a text suggesting we cancel our 9 a.m. bike ride. Rain and thunderstorms were in the forecast. My response: “I concur.”

      Concur is one of those words rarely used. It means to agree, be in accord, go along, be in harmony, be in sympathy, see eye to eye, be of the same mind, or be of the same opinion. It also means to happen or occur at the same time; coincide.

      On one hand, I can see why the word is rarely used. On the other hand, it should be tattooed on our foreheads. Case in point, my recent letter to the editor:

      Confusion and misinformation about COVID-19 has run rampant, making matters worse. Individuals have to make their own choices, but our individual choices affect how we come through this as a whole.

      As a spokesperson for and practitioner of what has been called alternative medicine or holistic health for almost 30 years, I see two vital points of clarity:

      First: At any moment, you cannot be 100% confident you aren’t an asymptomatic carrier. Just as chicken pox is highly contagious before a person knows he or she has the virus, many people are being exposed to COVID-19 by individuals who do not know they have the virus.

      Second: Just breathing can spread this virus. Talking, laughing, and singing are as dangerous as coughing. Infectious aerosols can accumulate especially indoors, but also in any poorly circulating air, and can then easily be inhaled into the lungs.

      Studies are being done as quickly and effectively as possible due to collaboration in the global scientific community.

      Initially the CDC said to wear a mask only if you were sick or caring for someone who was sick. But this was due primarily to the global shortage of masks that were desperately needed by those on the front lines. Research has found that wearing masks significantly lowers the risk of spreading the virus, and that many unnecessary deaths will be prevented if everyone wears a mask. Mask-wearing has been widely adopted in Asia since SARS, and has been seen as a civic duty and a signal of “support” to health-care workers and the national economy.

      Myriad reasons exist for not wearing a mask: Masks can be uncomfortable, they fog up your glasses, they are hot, some people feel claustrophobic in them, hearing can be compromised.

      But there is only one reason to do the right thing.

      You wear a mask and safe distance not because of what you might GET, but because of what you might GIVE!

      It goes against our nature to isolate. We are social creatures. It goes against our nature to wear masks. But our nature has been shaped.

      By 9:00 this morning, just 15 minutes after our text concurring to cancel our bike ride, the skies were clear. I called my friend and said, “Let’s get on our bikes and ride toward one another.” We did just that. And we had lovely sharing.

      The previous evening she had heard a talk about why it is vital we bring native plants to suburban yards. A talk by Doug Tallamy, an entomologist at University of Delaware, author of Bringing Nature Home: How You Can Sustain Wildlife with Native Plants. From Doug’s website: Garden as if life depended upon it. You see, native plants support pollinators and food webs far better than introduced ornamentals, and some native plants support much more life than others. Choosing the best plants for your area is the key to success.

      Heading home from our ride, as I turned onto my road I was gifted an amazing view of nature’s linear wildflower garden! I pulled into the entrance of our park, got off my bike, and walked out to the road to take a photo. (See Sacred Story: Linear Garden.) Right there, without any fertilizer, and no need for irrigation, nature’s gorgeous, life-sustaining plants.

      Perhaps nothing since the Civil War has revealed our ability to see things differently from those we love the way this coronavirus has.

      Some see beauty and perfection when looking at a perfectly manicured lawn with the sprinklers twirling—totally missing the warning signs.

      The neighborhood in which we rode today is proliferated with a variety of evergreens planted widely in many housing developments a couple of decades ago. Those trees are dying a premature death. An appropriate species, but not native to this zone. Pines are among the oldest trees on Earth. Ponderosa pines, common throughout the western United States, have a lifespan of 300 to 500 years, with an 800-year-old tree documented in Utah.

      Shortly after we got home from our ride, my friend sent a text: Raining quite hard here! Lucky us.

      Our nature has been shaped just as surely as have our landscapes. We need the rain. We need the native plants. Right now, we need the masks.

      I so appreciated reading the words of a friend on his Facebook post: “I will wear my mask when out in public to respect your right,” and I also felt the sting that came with the rest of his sentence: “to live out your lives in fear.”

      Noticing the warning signs does not mean one is living out life in fear.

      Where are the bees?

    7. Linear Garden

      Sacred Stories

      She was out enjoying an early morning bike ride with a friend. The friend was sharing about a program she had seen the night before featuring the ecological benefits of converting cultured lawn space back to nature’s landscape.

      As she turned onto her road, a magnificent linear garden stretched out before her.

      She pulled over to take this photo.

      No fertilizer and no irrigation….

      Be mindful of other ways we have discarded basic beauty for believed better.

    8. More Turtle!

      Sacred Stories

      She was visiting with her young granddaughter, out for a walk near the canal. They saw this turtle.

      As the turtle began to move away from them, her granddaughter motioned to the turtle saying, “More turtle.” She had learned to do that with the dog.

      The turtle stopped, turned around and came back their way!

      Imagine recognizing divine intelligence everywhere. Breathe into the wildflowers, “Grow.” Tell the coronavirus, “Soften.” Whisper to your sweet spirit, “Fly…”

    9. True Freedom

      “When the water is muddy
      and you can’t see the bottom,
      no amount of stirring
      can clear the water.”
      ~ Debra Basham

      In the U.S. the 4th of July represents freedom. People often think of freedom as freedom FROM something outside of us, but true freedom is an inside job, and nothing outside of you needs to change for you to enjoy it.

      Wednesday night I was unable to fall asleep after John came to bed, so I got up and came in on the bed in the office. At 2:00 am, I was still awake, but I fell asleep some time after that.

      At my normal waking time (about 6:00 am) I was enjoying a very stable (lucid) dream state, and I knew I had a choice (or not) to feel (or not) tired. It really isn’t sleep that restores one—we are restored by alignment. What is alignment? Activation of your parasympathetic nervous system….

      I have previously posted several tips on activation, but maybe it is worth another quick reminder: (See PNS is BIG; A Chilling Way to Calm Down; Covid-19.

      For decades I have enjoyed the benefits of doing a Self-Full Body Connection or meditation or prayer at bedtime so I fall asleep in alignment. I use this metaphor: If your TV is on channel 19 when you fall asleep, it will still be on that channel when you wake up.

      With all the stress around the globe, most people are running the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) much of the time. Now, like never before, it is vital to bring ourselves back into alignment again and again.

      Ram Dass said that compassion is the ability to see how it all is. When you are worried about “X” or “Y” or “Z” your body is processing EVERYTHING via the sympathetic nervous system. Even if you worry yourself to a solution about SOMETHING, your TV is still set on channel 19.

      I saw a beautiful quotation by Haruki Murakami, a Japanese writer: “When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what the storm is all about.”

      How amazing that without being fabricated,
      This mind, which is unborn and primordially pure,
      Is spontaneously present from the very beginning!
      This self awareness is naturally free from the very first,
      How amazing that it is liberated by just resting — —
      At ease in whatever happens!

      Flight of the Garuda
      Lama Shabkar, Tsogdruk Rangdrol

      Think about activation of your sympathetic nervous system as being the storm. Not something outside of you, but what is happening inside. Think also about activation of your parasympathetic nervous system as being coming out of the storm. Also not something outside of you, but what is happening inside.

      True freedom is an inside job.