Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: body

  • Love Will Find a Way

    The future won’t always be fair.

    But we can try.

    We can care.

    We can choose to connect.

    It can be better if we let it.

    ~ Seth Godin

    Many of my days are spent bearing witness to the clarity secure within our souls as our personalities fling destructive BS into our lives. One recent conversation went something like this:

    “You never invite me to Christmas.”

    “I don’t even have Christmas.”

    “I am never included.”

    “You are the one who moved away.”

    Pain, upon pain.

    I claim again the gift of knowing that under any message filled with blame and accusation is a legitimate need even if it is being expressed unskillfully.

    What a relief….

    I love poetry. Something about the way a person shows you a feeling without saying what that feeling is excites the part of you that thrives on curiosity. Too much of the time our logical mind tries to run the show. We plan. We manipulate. We hide.

    In a poem the words are expressions of the heart, being heard by the heart.

    I had not intended the following poem to give away so much of my own heart, but it does.

    The prompt is from The Crafty Poet: A Portable Workshop, by Diane Lockward. Instructions were to choose an odd job. One example was snake milker’s daughter. We were to jot down some relevant language, choosing words that are specific to this job and sound great.

    Medium Mayhem

    Secrets slip into my awareness unheeded

      from somewhere or someone

    Listening hands hear, “Bell’s Palsy.”

    Babies believed long dead

      babble difficult directives

    “Tell her I am not dead.”

    Fifty years she has carried abortion’s guilt

      Searing pain shoots down my leg

    Relevant to ask, “Is this mine?”

    The task is always to realize

      we are energy

    swimming in one sea

    Hearing, seeing, feeling, knowing

      not always easy to distinguish

    fact from fiction

    Fantasy or wishful thinking

      the taunting

    fortunately only on occasion

    Echoes of accusations

      hang over (or come from

    my head

    Ghostly guesses

      and grisly gallows

    shake confidence at core

    What do you do?

      generates no easy answer

    “I talk to dead people.”

    Likely not heard

      at the dinner table

    of the mentally stable

    Truth be told

      I don’t just

    talk to dead people

    They also talk

      to me

    No blasphemy!

    Mystery

      mocking mayhem

    Famous or infamous

    Sinner or saint

      life as a spiritual sensitive

    is understandably quaint

    Debra Basham 4-8-2018 (WC 153)

    Perhaps the Deep Spring Center “Thought for Today” (April 12, 2018) is the perfect closing for this blog post.

    “Do not despair that you have no vision. The vision is right here in your own radiant hearts, your kindness and your commitment to your practice. There is not one of you that does not vision a more harmonious world. Hold that in front of you and know that it is possible and then just ask yourself, ‘What will support this?’ Do not be afraid. Hold your vision ahead of you. There is a saying, ‘The dharma takes care of those who take care of the dharma.’ Love will find a way.”

    (See Message, Subtext, Metamessage in Healing with Language by Joel P. Bowman and Debra Basham.)

  • Pass it on!

    Putting over 40 years of journals into the bottom cupboard of the new library closet we had installed this winter I was suddenly overwhelmed by the sacredness of reflection.

    It has been too long since I wrote in my paper journal. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of preparations, travel, arrival, clearing the chaos and construction dust so I’ve also not drawn a divination card or had much pondering time.

    I’ve missed myself.

    April 7, 2018 was Linda B’s wedding day. As she and Larry openly reflected upon their continued love for their previous spouses (Dan for Linda, and Joyce for Larry), something profound stirred within me and likely within all those who attended, and also possibly in you as you are reading this post now.

    As fate would have it, April 7 was also the day Linda’s clergy “Insights” article was published in the local newspaper. Here is a quotation from her article shared as part of the story of our coming together in their ceremony:

    Jamie Anderson said this about grief and it helps to explain what Larry and I have experienced. “Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” Larry and I found a place for our grief – our love – to go.

    The ceremony was rich with music: Elfie is a gifted pianist who also happens to be blind so unable to see sheet music. She learned the songs at the rehearsal by hearing them. Pamela is a singer and songwriter and our soul sister. Dave is brother of the bride. In fact, all of Linda’s siblings closed the wedding ceremony with a benediction sung to the tune of Edelweiss from the Sound of Music.

    Ritual was meticulously matched to message and gratitude was the theme.

    Many expressed having experienced Linda’s and Larry’s wedding as a vehicle for memories and massive amounts of hugs. Circles of caring, including our local “Caring Circle” Hospice (of which Linda previously served as President and CEO) overlapped over and over, wrapping us all securely in love beyond loss.

    We witnessed wonder. We were moved. We felt and many of us wept.

    As I left the church, basking in the palpable warmth of divine love, turning my minivan north on Washington Avenue, a single vehicle was in front of me at the 4-way stop. The license plated caught my attention and took away my breath. D-A-N were the first three letters, followed by three numbers. I cannot tell you the numbers. I was not granted time enough to fish my iPhone from deep within my purse and snap a picture. While I may always wonder what the numbers were, I think you will agree there is no question about the evidence of that message from/of Dan. It is as though he was thanking me for being part of Linda’s spiritual journey.

    Congratulations are definitely in order….

    Enjoy reading the unedited version of Linda’s article:

    Herald Palladium
    Insights Column
    Rev. Linda Beushausen
    April 7, 2018

    Today is my wedding day! I knew this was to be the theme of my Insights column this time. I have been a widow for over 16 years and although I secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) hoped to find a special partner with whom to share the rest of my life, I wondered if it would ever happen. I mightily rejected the thought of another partner for the first 8 or 9 years after my husband, Dan, died, because I couldn’t imagine loving anyone else. I couldn’t imagine letting go of the love I still had for him, and I couldn’t imagine that someone else could take his place. And, if truth be told, I was still grieving and knew that grief would always be a part of my journey, so how could I think about another relationship? I knew my journey of grief was sacred and it was a huge part of my spiritual journey, and I wasn’t sure someone else would understand that. Amidst all of my questions and contemplations, I clung to the words from the end of 1st Corinthians 13 (The Message) that I had paraphrased and brought to mind over and over again since 2001: “When I can’t understand what’s happening, don’t know where things are headed, or I’m not sure what to do next, there are three things I CAN do: I can trust steadily, I can hope unswervingly, and I can love extravagantly.” These words have carried me through so many times the last 16+ years; Trust, Hope, and LOVE! The whispers of Spirit in my heart and soul told me that over and over again that there was someone special I would meet and I needed to be open, patient, and trusting. I poured myself into my work and my family, both of which gave my life richness and meaning, and I trusted the still small voice within that said someday a man would come into my life that would love and accept me, just as I am now and who I will become as I follow my conscious spiritual journey.

    It happened, seemingly “out of the blue”, last April and immediately I knew he was very special. His name is Larry and he was also widowed and had some of the same concerns I did about how he could continue to have such strong love for his late wife, Joyce, and whether a new partner could be present with him in his own journey of grief. We both sensed immediately that there was a Divine purpose growing within us individually and as a couple. We each had a sense of hope and an even deeper sense of gratitude and awe. We had a knowing, deep within our souls, that Joyce and Dan were also a part of bringing us together. Before each of them died, they had poured out their hearts to us as they had each asked us to be open to loving another person and allowing another person to love us. At that time for each of us separately, neither Larry nor I could think about that, but their prayers and desires for us to find another loving partner, did not die with them. How awe-inspiring that amidst the season of Easter a year ago, we met and immediately knew there was something special happening. Love was beginning to bloom again and we didn’t have to stop loving Dan and Joyce! But how was this possible? How was it possible for me to love Dan deeply and Larry to love Joyce deeply, and still have such deep stirrings of love within us for each other? As we nurtured our relationship, we began to understand that we were not called to stop loving Dan and Joyce and we were not called to deny our grief, but rather that we WERE called to let our journey of grief continue as we allowed ourselves to love again.

    Jamie Anderson said this about grief and it helps to explain what Larry and I have experienced. “Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” Larry and I found a place for our grief – our love – to go.

    Our deep love, and the sense that we knew immediately we were to be together in marriage, was hard to explain to our family and friends at first but we KNEW we were brought together as a loving, committed, couple for reasons we would understand more fully over time. We understood that it all happened faster than some could understand according to societal norms, and we also knew that our love would be an example for others. Amidst it all, we trusted, we hoped, and we loved. God brought us through the challenges of this last year and now today is our wedding day!

      This is what is written in our wedding bulletin today:

      We are blessed by so many amazing people in our lives and each of you here is among them. There were so many more people we wish we could have invited but we trust they understand and are loving and supporting us from afar. We could have slipped away quietly and gotten married but our lives are so rich with family and friends that we knew we wanted to share this time with others.

      Both of us have known times of highs and lows in our lives and as we remember them, we are aware that we have been immensely blessed by both the highs and the lows. Our lowest times were when we each faced the death of our beloved spouses – Dan for Linda and Joyce for Larry. Grief was, and continues to be, a sacred journey for each of us in our own ways and it was the sacred journey of grief that brought us here today. Our hearts and souls have ached with sadness and despair and through love and trust we found healing. Although we both doubted we would ever find the kind of deep love we shared before, this is exactly what has happened! Our love for each other is profound, and yet does not diminish the deep love we each have for Dan and Joyce. Both Dan and Joyce wanted this for us and we believe that their prayers were answered when we were brought together. We have found, beyond question that love NEVER ends. It continues on as long as we open our hearts to love and in a special way when we open ourselves to loving each other completely – heart and soul – in marriage. This is why marriage is so important to us. We have found, beyond question, that when we don’t know what else to do, we are called to trust, hope, and love.

      We have been given the gift of Love again and it is our promise to the God of Love, to each other, to our family, and to each of you, to show our gratitude every day by loving each other in a way that is contagious! We want to pass it on!!

      I invite all of you to think about how you express love in your life. Express that love extravagantly and with trust and hope, in everything you do, and in the way that only you can. And then……pass it on!

  • Preparations

    I love order. Maybe I am not totally excessive compulsive about it, but I when I have been called a “neat freak” I have taken that as a compliment.

    This week, as many others are busy with holiday preparations, I am preparing our tiny house for a big construction project that will begin right after Christmas. As some areas are being emptied out, other areas are being jam-packed.


    One of the things I notice is that even my chaos must have order to it.

    I took a break from my preparations yesterday and enjoyed listening to the December 17 talk given by Reverend Linda Beushausen at St. John UCC in New Buffalo. The talk was on Joy, specifically that joy is not an emotion but rather a choice we make. She told about a person who admits to having a challenge letting go of the stuff she has held on to that has kept her a victim and let joy in. Gay Hendricks calls this the challenge of expanding our upper limits. He says those profound shifts in your internal set points do not generally happen overnight, but Linda gave us a hint how we can access more joy.

    She said gratitude is how we get to joy. When I put that phrase (gratitude is how we get to joy) into the search bar, it yielded about 6,950,000 results! A few of those include:

      Daily Habits of Gratitude That Will Attract Joy into Your Life with Jack Canfield

      12 Powerful Gratitude Practices That Bring Joy by Joel Almeida

      5 Tips to Supercharge Your Gratitude List and Infuse Your Life With Joy by Tree Franklyn

    Today, my business partner lost his wallet. He had been running errands and when he stopped to get gas, his wallet was gone. He back-tracked to the previous stops, but his wallet was not yet found when he sent a message telling me it was missing. A few minutes later, he sent word that his wallet had been returned with everything still in it. His message ended with this: “Certainly guardian angels seem to have come to the rescue, and I’m grateful….”

    That reminded me of “Package” published July 18, 2015, in Sacred Stories. If you are not signed up to receive the Sacred Stories each week, you can sign up to do that. Sharing them gives me joy!

    As you continue with what ever preparations you are involved in right now, may you find that your gratitude is a bridge so you can find then find joy in the journey.

  • Love One Another, No Matter What


    It is a wintry day again. For the time being, I have abandoned the riding of my Airdyne in the chilly barn for walking on a treadmill in the warmth of the community room.

    My least favorite part of the winter weather is how I brace against it. The whole body tenses up, and the seconds to walk in from the car are endured, rather than enjoyed.

    I have never understood that, as I am a January baby I should love winter weather, right?

    This morning I read this marvelous quotation from Each Day a New Beginning, by Karen Casey: “We can serve one another best, never by commiserating with sadnesses, but by celebrating life’s challenges. They offer the opportunities necessary to our continued growth.”

    One friend said goodbye to her pet bunny rabbit (of 14 years). Friends are supporting their daughter through a recent diagnosis of stage 3 colon cancer. Many have lost loved ones this year. Our own family is celebrating the holidays one brother short. Life has its challenges.

    Here is a certain truth for meeting all of life’s challenges from Neale Donald Walsch: Nothing changes the environment like one person deciding to love another, no matter what.

  • Up In Smoke

    I used to have a “Dinner will be ready when the smoke alarm goes off” refrigerator magnet. This evening the smoke alarm went off here in the tiny house but I was not burning dinner. I was burning a piece of paper in Frankincense and Dragon’s Blood Resin to release an ancient pattern of guilt, anxiety, and emotional pain older than my body.

    Most people know of the ancient healing powers of Frankincense. Dragon’s Blood also has wonderful healing properties. It is often used for protection, power, and good fortune, and to dispel negative energy.

    The negative energy dispelled tonight goes way, W–A–Y, back. I was first aware of feelings of sheer terror in October 2011 while I was in Europe. I had been under stress for days before the evening in Switzerland when my “resting” heart rate of 103 was recorded for 30 minutes on my HeartMath emWave2.

    I have told very few people of my experiences in Europe, but I did spend three months writing about it a couple of winters past. Having heard parts of the writing, one of my Florida writer colleagues gave me this sage advice, “It is okay to go ahead and write it as a memoir, to get the emotions out. But publish it as fiction. People will have difficulty accepting your experiences as fact but they will eat this story up thinking it is fiction.”

    The paper I burned today was a representative of all 75 pages of my “Twelve Days in Europe.” I am too practical to print 75 pages to burn. That would be a waste of resources. Intention is powerful and my intention tonight is that everything inappropriate has gone up in smoke.

    In the process, charred into the piece of paper was a heart.

    The paper became a chimney, not burning but instead funneling the smoke into dancing images that were truly mesmerizing, amazing, and beautiful.

    After the resins were burned completely, I lit the paper. The ashes fell neatly into the rainbow abalone shell. After they were cooled, I went out into the cold night and scattered them onto the earth.

  • The Greatest Gift

    The holiday season is a time when we do a lot of giving and receiving. One gift I received was enjoying lunch out with Jane Foster. Jane had 22 malignant tumors on her liver when her surgeon closed her up in 1999 and told her he could not keep cutting on her. He said she needed to, “Find a holistic healer.” I’ve included a link to a video interview with Jane in 2011 at the end of this post. She lights up my life…

    Jane has discovered she loves horses and I was blessed to gift Jane with one of Amy Midnite Remisoski’s adorable Pine Pony wreaths.

    Jennifer Louden’s Self-Care Minder, Year 2, #29
    November 30th, 2001
    SELF-CARE MINDER

    It’s holiday time. Do you know where your soul is?

    Have you asked soul what she wants to do and feel during this month? Can you give her lots of time to respond (a thirty-second check while in line at the bank doesn’t work so well with soul)? And after asking, would you be willing to honor what she has to say?

    Here’s an excerpt from the Self-Care Minder written this time last year:

    This is such a tender, heart-open-wide time of year. Simple things like the blood orange and lime yellow leaves wiggling outside my window and the sound of our heater coming on bring tears to my eyes. A deep yearning to nest, to deeply connect with those I love, to know soul comfort as well as I know the curve of my daughter’s smile, simmer in me.

    A spiritual longing breaks through the surface of my life and catches my heart. It is a radiant song that I can’t quite hear the lyrics to. I want to stop and listen but instead I find myself emptying the dishwasher, sweeping the floor, sorting Aunt Edna’s silver.

    Perhaps the barrier between this longing and our daily lives grows thinner during the holidays. All that is required to cross the border is courage and stillness, and perhaps a friend for support.

    We are entitled to “to feel ourselves beloved on this earth” as the writer Raymond Carver wrote shortly before his death. Yes, dear ones, we are.

    I asked my daughter what she wanted the holidays to look like and she said, “Games like hide-and-seek and sleeping giant and everybody just being together, and you know, I would like just a few presents.”

    How strong and sincere it feels to be living soulfully during these days of darkness and glitter, yearning and connecting. What does that mean specifically? To live soulfully, I am: Stopping and pausing OFTEN to ask, “What do I really want to do?” Questioning every “I have to” especially the ones that seem so IMPORTANT. Watching for bodily sensations of feeling hurried, panicked, or pressed upon, and using these sensations to wake me up to what I’m thinking and doing, and is there another choice I would rather make?

    Basically, I’m learning there is no real reason to be freaking out over when or where to buy the Yuletide tree. Reminding myself the only thing that really can’t be replaced is time with those I love: my 82 year old Dad, my 7 year old daughter, my sister, my mom, my husband and you know, they just want peace, laughter, and a little sleeping giant game once in awhile.

    I’m letting the rest go, gently, gracefully, and with a good guffaw at all my shoulds.

    Fortunately we don’t have to wait for a health crisis to discover what our sweet soul wants. A bit ago I received a text message from Jane. “I want to write a book. Because I’ve been on this journey for 30 plus years, I think I can inspire others.”

    Like Jane’s, my sweet soul wants everyone to Imagine Healing!

  • The Voice of Assurance

    Some of us are fond of saying “the devil made me do it” when we’ve done something we’re not too proud of.

    We might as well say “the ego made me do it” because the ego is our own personal “devil.”

    In God’s Care by Karen Casey

    I certainly experienced that devilish ego on Friday. I have been privileged to spend time with my nephew as he is stabilizing being a contributing member of society following time incarcerated. Old patterns revealed themselves in unwholesome ways as I pulled tightly his financial reins I had been recently entrusted to.

    Casey says, “Sometimes we like to claim that we weren’t in complete control of our actions, that we were overcome by an irresistible urge. We can’t, however, say that with a clear conscience. At one time in our addictive past, maybe, but not now. Now, we can be responsible. An urge can overcome us only to the extent that we let it – only as we give it the power of believing in it.”

    Ego would have us believe we (or others) are weak, vulnerable, without what we need. Believing these lies can make us afraid. Ego makes us afraid. I was feeling very afraid.

    Even thought I was feeling afraid, I was afraid for him, not afraid of him. Nonetheless, the way I know ego had taken hold and I was in fear not love is that my blood pressure shot sky high.

    Another quotation from, In God’s Care, “We have a choice. We can listen to the voice of our ego or the voice of God. How can we tell the difference? By how we feel. The ego’s urgings always leave us with some misgivings. God’s guidance assures us.”

    To help me begin to listen to the voice of assurance, I put my feet in some warm water, grabbed my earbuds, and tapped through her Surrogate Tapping Meditation with Jessica Ortner.

    (Note: If you are new to tapping or want a reminder, the locations you will be rotating through with each phrase as you tap along with Jessica include: (1) the karate point on the side of your hand, (2) the point where your eyebrow begins, (3) the point where your eyebrow ends, (4) under your eye, (5) under your nose, (6) on your chin crease, (7) along your collar bone, (8) under your arm, (9) and on the top of your head.)

    Please only do this when you are sincere about saying, “I infuse this situation with love… I let go of my need to control… I infuse this situation with hope… I have faith that there is a greater good behind this situation… Nothing needs to be fixed… Everything is working in a greater order… This person has inside what they need… As I see their gifts and power, they begin to see that themselves… This is a blessing in disguise… As I laugh in the presence of darkness, we are brought into the light… As I smile in the presence of darkness, we are all uplifted… Even though I perceive this situation as a bad one I have faith that there is a greater good behind this… I live in my truth… The truth that I have the power to transcend any situation… The truth that others have the power to transcend any situation… Even though I have judged this situation, I deeply and completely love and accept myself… This person has what they need… I have what I need… I have faith that this person I love will do what is right for them… The outcome is greater than I could have ever imagined…”

  • Pure, Positive Energy

    I am breathing myself into the present moment as I wait further news of the journey of my nephew, David. This morning something happened at the house in Allegan and he may not be staying there after tomorrow. He already has permission to go back to the Mission in Holland where he knows he will be safe. (See Google Maps and 70×7)

    Needing to breathe yourself into the present moment may be new to some people, but it is definitely not new to this recovering disembodied spiritual bypasser. I need to regularly remind myself, “My breath in my body, my body on the ball, my fingers on the keyboard (or in the car or on the bed).”

    From The Dharma of Dogs: Our Best Friends as Spiritual Teachers:

    I noticed how unselfconscious she was—steeped in the present moment, attentive to her surroundings and needs—and, of course, how she acted instinctively. If she wanted something, she went for it. If she didn’t like the vibe, she walked away. If something startled her, she shook it off. If someone approached her too fast or broke her (or my) boundaries, she growled at them and guarded me. She didn’t second-guess herself. She didn’t temper her natural responses or worry what others might think. She did what she did. She was what she was. And if other people or dogs didn’t like it, so be it.

    These were vital teachings for me, not only because I was a disembodied spiritual bypasser—someone who uses spirituality to escape the human experience—but also because I was a good girl, ultra-polite, a people pleaser.

    I mentioned Tina Williamson’s blog 5 Masks We Wear and Why We Should Take Them Off in a sermon given at St. John UCC in New Buffalo, Michigan, on Sunday, October 29, 2017. The Mother Teresa mask is the “Nice” Persona. Think about this as the instruction on airplanes to put your own oxygen on first in the event of an air incident. Honoring your own genuine needs is the only honest way to truly love and be there for others. You are no good to anyone if you’re drained and depleted. Taking off the Mother Theresa Mask is the beginning of self-love and it is within your reach. We break the people-pleasing habit, one moment at a time, breathing into the present moment.

    Dogs and cats (and all of nature) are essentially grounding our energy fields. Pet’s are pure, positive energy. I am a huge cat person, rarely meeting a cat I can’t love, as you can see in these photos of me with Zeus.

    Today especially, I am grateful for grounding into pure, positive energy.

  • For You First

    I am not sure who the spiritual teacher was that first told me whatever message you receive for another, realize the message is for you first. That message or lesson or truth also applies to the other, but it is for YOU. Perhaps it was something learned in Ryan Elliott’s L-O-N-G intake form for hypnotherapy. I do recall hearing it from Angel Gail Konz. This morning I had opportunity to remember it again!

    “Don’t we all want to be needed?” It was a rhetorical question via text. A follow-up to a our earlier conversation.

    “Maybe not,” I wrote back. I could instantly see it related to Sunday’s sermon coming up. I recall how clear I was that this week’s talk was to be new: I was not to give the one I had recently shared in another church. “Let’s talk after dinner,” I responded before sending her this:

    The Recovering Hero Proclamation

    I have no need to save others.
    I have no need to rescue others.
    I have no need to outshine anyone.
    I have no need to out-think, out-perform,
    out-produce anyone – including myself.
    I do not need to know anything.
    I do not need to be an expert.
    I do not need to fix anyone, or any change anything.
    I do not need to dazzle, impress, or inspire anyone.
    I do not need to be the hero of my own story.
    In truth, I am organic, evolving, and fallible.
    I allow things to unfold naturally, and I trust the flow.
    I joyfully accept and experience my humanity.
    I need nothing.
    All already is.
    Blessed be.

    ~Aaliyah LivingWell
    aka Gina Dawn Gavaris
    GeneratingLove@aol.com
    www.GeneratingSolutions.org

    I kept working on the sermon, adding this teaching from Aaron:

    A more wholesome attitude might be rather that an initial ego intention, ‘I’m going to save the world,’ we start with the loving intention to see how we can dance with others and with the Earth and with spirit to co-create deeper peace and well-being for all sentient beings. We invite ourselves to be open and listen, to be guided, rather than having the ego dictate, ‘No, it should be this way.’ When you do this you find there truly are no limitations.

    I looked again at the original writings on the Drama Triangle and added this to the sermon notes:

    In 1968 Stephen Karmpan wrote an article about the Drama Triangle. On this triangle are three interconnected roles: Victim, Rescuer, Persecutor.

    A Rescuer often gains great satisfaction by identifying with their care-taking role. They are generally proud of what “helpers” and “fixers” they are. Often they are socially acclaimed, even rewarded, for what can be seen as “selfless acts” of caring. They believe in their goodness as chief caretakers and see themselves as heroes.

    Behind it all is a magical belief that, said out loud, might sound like, “If I take care of them long enough, then, sooner or later, they will take care of me too.” But, as we’ve already learned, this rarely happens. When we rescue the needy, we can’t expect anything back. They can’t even take care of themselves – much less be there for us!

    This morning, an extended time in meditation allowed me to bring to mind the opening line I had keyed in for the sermon: People want to be helpful, to be useful. We have ways of being helpful and useful that are more wholesome than others.

    F!A$#

    Something clicked and I could see how hard I had been pushing her to experience something other than what she was experiencing. I had been doing the same thing I was trying to get her to stop doing.

    Forgive me, Dear One.

    When others seem to me to be in internal conflict or when conditions are difficult or “others” are caught in effort rather than trust, I am being lovingly invited to totally trust God in all of life. As I remember that grace moves through all of our days I am able to relax and breathe and let go.