Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Author: Debra Basham

  • Hiding in Plain View


    My sister, Janis, has been working with some wonderful old photos of our family. This comes, in part, by the recent awareness we have that our paternal grandmother is of Native American decent. My sister has been very drawn to that spiritual path, and, of course, I have been blessed to enjoy it as part of my own interfaith journey. The interesting news of our grandmother comes from an older cousin who reported that she was “found” as a child, and raised by a family. He said that while everyone knew she was “an Indian” no one ever said a word about it or about where she came from.
    My paternal grandmother, Mary Smith, with her husband, Dove, and four of their children.
    As I was pondering hiding in plain view as part of our family history, Mark Nepo’s sharing of a quotation by Angeles Arrien touched me to my core:
    My grandmother told me, “Never hide your green hair—They can see it anyway.”
    I started thinking about all the things that have been hidden. My mom had been married before she was married to my dad, but I did not know of that until after I was already married myself. My mom and my mother-in-law were sitting at the table having a cup of coffee when my mother-in-law casually said, “Cathryn, I know Howard was married before and had a daughter by that marriage, but were you married previously?” Imagine my surprise to hear my mom respond that she had been married once, briefly, but that marriage had been annulled. 
    As I sit and witness my belly continuing to heal from the surgery to remove a 21 cm tumor that had formed on my left ovary, it makes me curious how much other stuff is hiding in plain view and what freedom can be experienced when we move beyond the fears that come from (and might just possibly cause) hiding. 
    Mark Nepo (The Book of Awakening, January 5) hits the nail on the head when he writes that blackmail is only possible if we believe we have something to hide. In my life, much of the guilt and hiding has been around sexuality. The most obvious of this was having become pregnant before my sixteenth birthday. As the years unfolded, that event resulted in the birth of our wonderful daughter (the mother of my amazing grandchildren). It has all been a blessing in my life, but at the time there was much pain around the experience given the influence of patriarchy in our world.
    I lived with the shame of “having to get married” and then the shame of being a high-school dropout because married females were not allowed to attend school. Married males were… but a married woman was sexually active and would be a bad influence on the other girls.
    Times have changed since 1966, but I wonder how much we have changed, and more importantly, I wonder how much I have changed. 
    Mark’s closing words in that writing: “The inner corollary of this is that worthless feelings arise when we believe, however briefly, that who we are is not enough.” 

     

    It is my sincere intention that I have allowed my body to be free from the burden of having hidden sexual guilt. As I prepared for my surgery, I knew you can have other “stuff” removed. My own life, my mother’s life, and my paternal grandmother’s lives had been full of secrets. I was fully aware my own healing was able to reach back in time and make all the adjustments to allow for moving forward free from all of that.
    (Here is an article about female sexuality on a global scale, as it relates to patriarchy.)

  • Happy New Year 2013


    This is a day I was not sure I would experience. That may sound strange to some, but it has a very deep core of meaning for me. In October of 1999, I was at a workshop where one of the exercises was to look ahead in time and see the end of your timeline. When I did that, mine ended in 2012. The guy who was leading that workshop was a bit shocked, since I would only be 62 years old at that time, and he suggested I “go in and change the date.”
    I am not at all sure what I was thinking about freedom of choice and the nature of life as being malleable, but I refused to change things, saying I would live out my destiny.
    From time to time, I admit that I have thought about that, but in early October when I discovered a mass in my abdomen, I began to experience pretty intense stress around all of that. I did not feel ready to die and I even told a good friend I was not organized enough for my life to end!
    This morning, looking at my journal entry for Sunday, November 11, 2012, the day before I had the CT scan showing that the mass was on the left ovary, I read this note from Mark Nepo’s The Book of Awakening: crises reveals the raw surface of the mind.

    Later that morning I saw Leah. I am so thankful to have a skilled acupuncturist who is also a Chinese medicine doctor. After a complete evaluation, she said, “No cancer.” She did find a blockage in the urethra area, as well as in the intestine. She felt it was good that I was having the CT scan so I would have more information.

    In the afternoon, Nancy and I went to the peace path that is co-sponsored by our Saint Joseph Sangha and is at St. Anthony’s. What a wonderful, soulful place. I was touched by the commitment of those souls to justice and peace. What legacy they brought to our world, such as Aung San Suu Kyl, a Buddhist woman who has worked tirelessly to bring democracy to Burma, or Sophia Magdalena Scholl, who was executed for her anti-Nazi efforts.
    On Monday, November 12, 2012, I made a note from Neale Donald Walsh’s thought for the day: The bad news does not have to get you down. It can actually get you going. Now may be a wonderful time to get back to basics, like board games with your children, quiet talks with your friends, a moment of gentleness with your spouse.

    I also made mention that I observed in my body that the pain of emotionally grasping at/for love and connection feels just like the pain of fear and rejection! This insight seemed very significant, and as I had the thought I also heard a rapping that my sister Janis first referred to as a “Ceiling Walker”!

    Mark Nepo’s words from the reading for that day were sharp as an arrow: “The world as we know it must be broken so that we can be born anew.  Almost dying was another shell I had to break.” 
    Mary Jo suggested I look back 10 years ago to see what I was dealing with at the soul level.  In my journal entry from November 13, 2002, I was writing about clearing my death wish!
    I hade been noticing the relevance at those times when the voice-to-text function would not catch things the way I had spoken them. My pet name for the happenings is to call it a Sirism, for Siri, the technical name for the iPhone function. I wrote down this one:
    SIRISM
    I can appreciate anything
    I can create anything
    Nepo again seems to be written along the trajectory of my own healing journey: “When we marry our humanness to our spirit, we create a life that is doubly strong in the world…. Means staying committed to your inner path.”

    The cystoscopy showed a healthy bladder with a huge growth pushing into it. I went right from Dr. Stockton’s office in Saint Joseph to South Bend to see Dr. Michael Method. On the way I sent a text to my sister, Janis. She knew of Dr. Method, spoke very highly of him, and even told me she had a coworker who had a 9 pound benign tumor removed!

    We went to a favorite oriental restaurant with Nancy before driving home. The fortune in my cookie: Your future is whatever you make of it, so make it a good one. It was certainly not smooth sailing. I wrote in my journal: Heart is racing now. Feet cold. Wondering if it was foolish to wait.

    Asking what is real about the timing, I drew Tree of Life: Seek a greater understanding of his or her karmic circumstances and conditions. Careful consideration and observations give you the chance to set your karmic record straight. I make my decisions from a place of hope and faith. Reading from Louise Hay on tumor: I lovingly release the past and turn my attention to this new day. All is well.

    An entry on Wednesday, November 14, 2012, speaks to the way the unconscious mind is playing out at the soul level:


    Yesterday when I was on the table waiting for the cystoscopy, I had the sense of my dad’s spirit coming to me to apologize for his role in my having to go through this. It was about him having brought syphilis to me at the time of my conception. Later that day John said he saw my dad in me a couple of times. One of the times was at the restaurant with Nancy after we left Dr. Method’s office. I asked John to share those observations rather than wait for me to ask.My nephew took this photo of my dad years ago….

    It was interesting that the key word for that day (Day 10 of the Deepak Chopra meditation) was on Karma. I made this note from Chopra’s writing: Today I make great choices because they are made with full awareness.

    It is a new year. I am alive. In a note to Betty Lue earlier this morning, I shared that during the night last night I was very aware of the two voices: Inner coach or inner critic. Those voices create the world we live in! The thinker thinks, and the prover proves. I was with Betty Lue the first time I became aware of that inner critic. I had spilled a glass on her white carpeting in their condo at Parkview Hills. I heard a sarcastic tone inside say, “Grace.” I remember turning around inside my mind and challenging that voice by saying that even graceful people can have an accident and spill something and I would not tolerate being spoken to that way. Freedom, for each of us, begins with the smallest of steps away from anything that would keep us bound.
    The wall hanging in Stacey’s bathroom has a great quotation on it about how life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. So today as I wish you a Happy New Year, it almost takes my breath away simply that I am in body and I am able to share this time with you here on planet earth. 

  • A Time to Lie Fallow


    I went to hear Rev. Jim McConnell speak this morning because I knew the theme was bleak midwinter or the season of our discontent. I knew this would be relevant to me as I have sometimes felt less than patient as I recuperate surgery. Especially with the tasks of readying for our departure, I have wanted to be more productive than I am capable of being right now. 
     
    Jim shared about having taking courses in soil in college and about the value of letting the fields lie fallow. Farmers used to routinely do this. Far from being a wasted season, leaving the soil unseeded after being ploughed and harrowed is the appropriate action to create greater fertility. In fact, the term even applies to ideas, as an idea or state of mind that is undeveloped or inactive is ripe with potentiality. 
    Jim said LIFE will ask you to answer the big questions for yourself. He said it will not be something you read in a book, or something a teacher or preacher or philosopher tells you. The answer is not something you can figure out or calculate. It is something that you become aware of.He said the answer will always come if you are willing to wait for it.
    He shared some great stories of the faithfulness of seeking and finding. He also shared the story of Jonah. Most people think of that story as Jonah and the Whale, but after hearing Jim today, I will forever think of it as Jonah and the Worm. 
    You see, God told Jonah to go to the city of Nineveh, a city full of wickedness. Jonah was to give them a warning. Hmmm…. Rather than follow God’s command, as the story is written, Jonah set sail in the opposite direction. Although I have never been to Niveveh, I certainly have had my share of rebelling against the guidance I had to move in a certain direction.
    Well, as luck would have it, a huge storm came up and Jonah’s companions recognize that this is no ordinary storm. The sailors are said to have cast lots to determine “whose god is responsible.” The lot fell on Jonah and they heaved him overboard! 
    Most folks who grew up with familiarity with the Judeo Christian myths remember that Jonah spends three days in the belly of the fish, gets barfed out onto the shore, and has the change of heart that he best get to Nineveh to share that warning, which he did. After giving the warning, expecting the destruction within the 40 days, Jonah leaves the city, but stays close. He finds a shade plant and is content to wait to see the action.
    Now enter the worm….

    The way the story is told, God causes a worm to bite the plant’s root and it withers. Without its shade, Jonah becomes very uncomfortable, and he grieves the death of the plant. He wants to die to be out of his misery. The lesson is one of compassion—for the people of Nineveh and for Jonah.

    As I continue my healing journey in the Florida sunshine, this is my sacred intention: I will have compassion for myself and welcome this time to lie fallow. I will rest. I will enjoy nature. Spring will come, and with it, new life will grow in the fertile soil of my life. 
    A beautiful view from the deck…

  • Grace and Ease


    Last night a good friend, Laurel Izard, called to share what she received in her reading for me. The first thing that came through was my Paternal Grandmother. I did not know my father’s mother, but I remember being at the home of my cousin, Eddie McDaniel, and having him show me a photo of her. I was shocked that she looked like a Native American. Ed said no one talked about it, but that she did have Indian blood.

     Laurel’s sense was that my Great Grandmother wanted to connect with me.

    Another image that came through for Laurel was Woody woodpecker, which she interpreted as trickster energy around me. I certainly been aware of that!

    Today’s reading, in The Book of Awakening, by Mark Nepo, “As a child I would talk to things—birds that flew overhead, trees that swayed slowly in the night, even stones drying in the sun.”

    Remembering the conversation with Laurel and now reading Mark’s words, I find this all very interesting. I woke up this morning having a profound sense of the nonphysical support that has been with me in my recovery. I decided to give names for to my companions: Grace and Ease!

    I have been completely aware that asking for support on a continual basis allows me to move with less discomfort, allows me to feel better physically, and even enables me to experience a greater sense of emotional stability. Even ordinarily very simple or mundane tasks: rolling over in bed; getting into or out of bed; sitting down on or getting up from the toilet; or picking up something I dropped–each of these is made significantly  more or less difficult, by my forgetting to or remembering to ask for help.

    I will actually say to myself, “Okay team, let’s do this!”

    When I read the quotation by Mark Nepo this morning, and thought about how Native Americans have always talked to Nature Spirits, I was also remembering my nurse, Francesca, telling us about her speaking in this way as she was growing up in Africa. She told stories of going  out to the mango orchard, speaking to the gods of the mango trees, asking permission to pick fruit, then speaking words of gratitude.

    This makes me think about the book, Behaving As If the God in All Life Mattered, by Machaelle Small Wright.

    A friend stopped to visit with me the a few days ago. While he was here, he got that faraway gaze is his eyes, and his voice got quiet as he leaned toward me and asked me what would I most have learned from this experience that is valuable for him and for others.

    The answer was simple: Ask for help. Expect that you live in a nonphysical support system—one that is ready, willing, and able to provide you with continuous support, but you must ask!

    This is not a new awareness for me, having previously written about that subtle support system, but the sense of total grace and the ease of being that comes from feeling yourself supported is new, or maybe amplified.

    Whether you think of your support as angels, guides, or simply the benefit of aligning with your own inner being, I wonder what a difference it will make if we experiment with how much more we can get out of life when you make Grace and Ease your constant companions.

    This may just be the new world coming after the end of the old world tomorrow on 12/21/12….


  • A Candle for Lizzie


    From The Book of Awakening, by Mark Nepo (December 3)

    It reminds me of a dream I had when ill, in which I came to the edge of a forest where the narrow, lighted spaces called to me. I stood there through many opportunities until an ageless woman of great resolve appeared, saying, “You can’t start, I know, and if I were kind, I see you halfway in, but I am  more than kind. You must enter alone. I will meet you on the other side.”

    Now that I am somewhat on the other side of the recent healing crisis that resulted in my surgery on November 26, and the complications that followed, and am now full-time on the roller-coaster ride of recovery, those bright spots of divine connections are fading fast.

    I wonder how significant it really is that I am using breathingwell.com.au, a program for functional breathing by Roger Price—”Price” being my mother’s maiden name. I question how relevant it is that BX Protocol (heal even late stage cancer at the cellular level) has been and is being researched by Dr. Duane Smith—”Smith” being my maiden name.

    It is as though the many, many, many precious moments of “Synchro destiny” are now tumbled in my loss of routine, lack of energy, and the new normal of focus on medicine and discomfort and healing within and without. 

    For now, I am seeing dim images—and in moments of the greatest emotions of weakness, pain, and discouragement—I have briefly even wondered how real they are. 
    However, I am thankful I had witnesses along the road. I remember going to my post-surgical check up and at the exact moment  I was showing Nancy the photo of one of the angels who took care of me, we were hearing a nurse come into the waiting room to announce the name of a patient with the same name: Elizabeth. We looked at each other in the way those of us do when we know we are seeing the fabric of the universe unfolding around us. Just knowing that helps me keep the faith. Oh, by the way, nurse Elizabeth goes by, Lizzie.

    A part of my intestines had trouble waking up. The parts that were awake have been vigorously jumping up-and-down trying to move things through. The result has been wildly chaotic and truly painful. I am wondering now if this is what our planet might be going through right now.

    It occurs to me that those who are awake might have been causing as much turbulence for the one we are, as those who were yet asleep.  

    Today, I find myself wishing I could just take a nap, wake up, and find myself home in this body and on the planet. It would be a great day to bake cookies, or wrap presents, or meet a friend for lunch.

    Today I hold my dear friend, Carol, in thoughts and prayers. If you will, join me in prayers and thoughts for Carol and her young daughter Lizzie. Lizzie, born in 1985… Lizzie, married just a couple of months ago…

    Lizzie, who has experienced liver failure thought to be the result of active alcoholism. Lizzie, who has now experienced kidney failure due to the liver failure.

    Carol writes that the family is experiencing much healing as they gather around their beloved Lizzie. They are exploring Palliative care options now.

    Today I focus on beads 4, 5, and 6 from the Daily Recollection prayer by Barbara Brodsky. I focus my consciousness for Lizzie and for me and for all sentient beings as I use my prayer beads:

    Buddha is also the awakened nature inherent in all things. Awakened nature is within me; my mind is the true Buddha. This Buddha mind is inherently free and already liberated. To know this awakened nature and live the awakened life is the balance to which I aspire. Awakened nature is present everywhere. Resting there, all karma is released, yet my mind and body are still accountable.

    There is something quite terrifying when the vehicle we are currently traveling in seems to not be working. In this world, having normal bowel and bladder processes seems like such a miraculous gift. I am suddenly reminded of the words sent to Carol by Pete Wehle, “Today is! Don’t worry about tomorrow because tomorrow never is! Today is!”
    Pete should know. He is a heart recipient. You can read (and gift) the amazing story of his journey of healing in For Pete’s Sake: Going Through Hell andComing Out Whole, written by his wife, Pamela Chappell.
    I hold the intention of the liquids I drink being able to go in and come out with ease. I ask my intestines to work in harmony to draw out the nutrients from the free-range eggs I scrambled and ate, and to excrete the toxins easily through my stools. Today, my goal is simple: to be able to have the energy to get in and out of the shower and put my clothes and to remember love is eternal. I light a candle for Carol and her beloved Lizzie and all else falls away….




  • Gentle With Myself


    Quite possibly the greatest change in this whole process will occur within ourselves. 
    We don’t think much of ourselves, or in the other extreme, sometimes way too much!
    In any case, most people are terrible to themselves! 
    They beat themselves up for their mistakes and crucify themselves for their “failures and shortcomings.”
    I have had clients who were still beating themselves up for things that had happened forty and fifty years ago!
    Ross Bishop (December 7, 2102)
    I had a complete hysterectomy that was needed because of a very large benign tumor on my left ovary. The surgery was November 26, and following a couple of complications, I came home on Sunday, December 2. Thursday, December 6, 2012 was my first day being able to take care of myself at home all day

    I decided I would enjoy a ginger chew, and I got one out of the box in the cupboard, and then proceeded to drop it onto the floor. It is amazing how many things I have dropped since I got home. I would never have thought about that, before not being able to bend over and pick whatever it was up. 
    Wanting to prove that I could take care of myself, I artfully managed to use my right foot to get that chew up on top of my left foot.

    After three tries, I was successful lifting my left foot straight up, while still keeping the ginger chew balanced on the top of my foot, until I nabbed it with my right hand!

    Feeling full of pride, I victoriously proceeded to try to unwrap that ginger chew. However, the real lesson soon came into awareness.

    That chew was soft and gooey, and the paper would not come off, so I had to throw it away! 

    I have eaten a lot of those ginger chews over the past several years, and I have never had that happen before…

    As I disgustedly opened the pantry to get another ginger chew, I silently understood the truth that I am at choice. Life can be seen as a game that is to be won or lost. I can work very hard to win or at the very least to not lose—trying and trying to prove something to myself or to someone else—or I can be gentle with myself, knowing that things do not all have to be resolved immediately. 

    I will never know for sure, but I am curious if I had left that first ginger chew on the floor until John got home from work, would it have unwrapped for him as easily as the one I had just eaten? 
    Last evening I was very uncomfortable physically and feeling quite vulnerable emotionally. With my feet in the lap of my husband, I tried without success to get into a posture to relax. Tears began to flow along with thoughts about things I have lost.
    It was more than just about the hollow place in my abdomen where my body parts used to be. It was about having been given  gas when I was delivering my daughter and missing the wonder of her birth. It was about also having been given a shot to dry up my milk, and missing the miracle of having a baby at my breast. It was about the days I have wasted feeling sorry for myself about this or that and having missed the blessing in what is happening at this very moment.
    I just let myself feel the feelings and decided to turn on some music to help with the release. I set “Gentle With Myself” (track nine from Heart of Healing by Karen Drucker), to loop and I just let it sing me to sleep.
    I have had a powerful sense this healing is about my own wounded divine inner feminine being freed by forgiving the human masculine. It is my sincere prayer that each of us has taken that lesson to heart, so we can all live the beautiful serenity that it is never too late to have a happy childhood and there is always time to live happily ever after. Thank you, Karen, for these healing lyrics….
    I will be gentle with myself.
    I will be gentle with myself.
    And I will hold myself like a newborn baby child.

    I will be tender with my heart.
    I will be tender with my heart.
    And I will hold my heart like a newborn baby child.

    And I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go.
    I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go.

    I will be easy on myself.
    I will be easy on myself.
    And I’ll love myself like a newborn baby child.

    And I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go.

    Now, I know…
    I am gentle with myself.
    I am gentle with myself.
    And I hold myself like a newborn baby child.

    And I rock myself like a newborn baby child.
    I hold myself like a newborn baby child.
    I love myself like a newborn baby child.

    Gentle with Myself, by Karen Drucker

    Not yet comfortable sitting at the keyboard, this works just fine!

  • Unexpected Gifts


    All those statistics that you are gathering about your own experiences
    and about others are only about how somebody has flowed Energy.
    It isn’t about any hard fast reality.
    Abraham-Hicks
    (Excerpted from the workshop in Detroit, MI on Saturday, July 8th, 2000)
    Yesterday’s “messages from the universe” arrived in multiples, as though the only thing the divine has to do is to support and guide me. I agree with you that this is not about a personal “I”, however, as life is there for each of us all the way every day. Some days it is easier for you to see that, though, and yesterday was another one of those days for me. 
    Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow,
    for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.
    Matthew 6:34

    I admit that these messages are more significant to me personally right now, as I will be having a hysterectomy on Monday morning to aid the healing that is already happening by removing a significant cystic tumor from my left ovary. In the past couple of weeks I have had more tests than in the previous twenty years, and there are more to come.

    Yesterday, though, my thoughts were less on me than on the way we are all interconnected. Last week I learned about Roger Price and the Breathing Well process, and in less than 24 hours, I had shared it with a friend who was hospitalized for treatment for cellulitis and having an extremely rough time of white-coat syndrome. Proper breathing got her blood pressure down and got her home!

    Check out the introductory video and see Debra’s Monday, November 26, 2012 Tip for Well-being at http://scs-matters.com.

    Perhaps the whole point of our finding gifts along the way is being able to share them with others. I would like you to take a few minutes to meet a remarkable young woman: Elizabeth Ossowska. You will immediately see that Ela, as her grandmother calls her, is a lovely, sweet, ten-year-old. Not so obvious just looking at her is that she is undergoing treatment for cancer. With all that treatment involves, what does Ela dread most? Being poked by needles—“because they hurt”! 

    The woman who was interviewed with Ela said that needles are often the worst fear for kids with cancer. I was reminded of the young man who was going to have both of his rib cages removed, flipped over, reversed, and reinstalled, and he was afraid of the shots! You can read about James in Success Stories on the Imagine Healing website, and (p. 44-45) in FallingTogether in Love, Stories from My Heart For and About YOU

    Ela holding her baby brother during the TV interview.


    Join me in healing intention for Ela. Hold her in your loving thoughts and prayers. May her Christmas wish come true—to be finished with treatments. Meanwhile, hold energy also for Ela’s grandmother who is going to let the news interviewer and those at the Stollery Hospital (Canada) know that children (or anyone, for that matter) can clear the fears! 

    Fears can be released quickly and easily using the Fast Phobia Cure, developed by Richard Bandler, co-founder of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP). If you are new to NLP, here is a video of Joel Bowman (co-developer of Subtle Communication Systems) helping Liz get over the fear of public speaking.

    What unexpected gifts we experience in it all when we realize what we are learning is not for us alone, but is to be shared as blessing for the world. Now that is truly something worth giving thanks for.

  • A Heart Full of Grace


    Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle,
    and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
    Happiness never decreases by being shared.
    ~ Buddha
    This evening I was in the middle of my muddle when I received an email message from another human being navigating the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” called health care. “I am in the midst of so much conflicting information (all of which seems to have good scientific basis) that I have temporarily decided to just choose one system and stick with it alone until I see how I am doing after a reasonable trial.”
     
    She went on to say, “I am just curious—how do you handle things when there is too much conflicting info, most of which makes sense on its own?” As is often the way it happens, clarity and peace comes when you open your heart on behalf of another.
    You are very right about each of us needing to find what fits for us. So often we’re looking for something external, rather than understanding well-being as an internal state that is ever-present, untouched by the current conditions.
    The itching of a broken bone is evidence of the healing that is happening. At times of healing crises, physical or emotional or mental or spiritual, that confusion is really an indication of change. When you can welcome that as a litmus test, you can soften around it and you will discover “it”—whatever “it” is, changes.
    At this time we are all experiencing confusion and overwhelm and overload, each with our unique circumstances. The beauty is that life is designed to help us.
    Just today, two friends and I were together, and we were scheduled to be at another friend’s home at 1 o’clock. It became obvious we were going to be about 15 minutes late, so we looked for the phone number of the woman where we needed to be. Although all three of us thought we had it, none of us did.
    Linda drove her car planning to make couple stops and meet us there. Nancy and I left 815 Main Street, and went to Tosi’s for a bowl of soup. When we walked in, there sat Kate’s husband! He was able to give her a call, and let her know we would be arriving about 15 minutes late!
    We could not have orchestrated that!
    But LIFE was able to.
    We are in the process of coming to believe what is real— not about breathing, not about techniques, but about life itself. And right now, each one of us is being presented with the perfect circumstances to let us learn that lesson.
    You’re in my prayers, and I trust that I am also in yours.
    Six months from now, we will be in a very different place around all of this. It’s growing pains, that’s all.
    What gift it is to be able to see for another when he or she cannot see. What an honor to share the presence of mind in the face of confusion and overwhelm. What a miracle to bring ourselves to whatever is before us and know the truth, “I am enough.”
    Debra with friend, Ron. 
    Everybody can be great… because anybody can serve.
    You don’t have to have a college degree to serve.
    You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve.
    You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.

    ~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

  • Beads!


    I have been very surprised to find myself in a bead shop two times in the past week making strings of beads. I have not been into beads, and have never made jewelry. In fact, most of the time I do not wear necklaces, either, but these beads are not just fashion. The reason these strands of beads are so meaningful to me extends beyond the beauty. These beads are a tactile tool that corresponds to a Daily Recollection I learned at the meditation retreat last month. These beads are similar to the Catholic Rosary.
    It was a wonderful coincidence (you may have heard the saying that coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous) to find that I knew the manager at the bead shop. Miranda Skibbe, of M’s Jemz Bead Shoppe, had previously been personal assistant for a man I did Healing Touch™ with over several years. We already had a very heart-felt connection, so having her help me with the selection and production was pure gift. The first day we made this lovely, light, blue strand, using Czech glass beads. Glass making in the Czech Republic is an age old cottage industry, and the glass beads are still made in small quantities by hand.

    Miranda with the Czech glass Daily Recollection Beads.
    When I selected the beads, I was making the choices for “feel” as much as for “looks”.  It was my intention to be able to close my eyes and to know where I am and what I am recollectingat each point. I imagined coming to know the words and being able to recite the intentions to myself, much in the same easy way a child learns the alphabet by singing, “Now I know my A-B-Cs, next time won’t you sing with me.” 
    I loved the look and feel of the beads, but I soon discovered I had just one bead out of place, and since that threw off the whole prayer, I knew I would go back into the shop to have Miranda help me restring it correctly. 

    While Miranda was restringing the blue beads to correct the mistake I had in the pattern, I began to browse. Before I knew what was what, I began to pick out beads for another strand. This strand was not made of glass…. It was made of semi-precious stones, and it was shades of green. Miranda finished the restringing and she enthusiastically joined me in finding just the right combination. 
    There are 108 daily recollections, along with section beads, and intention beads, and marker beads. I think we both had our eye on the prices as these were significantly more money than the glass beads, but it was vital that the beads not only looked right, I wanted to be able to feel where I was. Marker beads needed to feel distinctive from intention beads, and the daily recollection beads needed to be unique from the section beads. We finally determined the round beads would best serve for the 108 daily recollection beads. There were four strings of that type of bead, but how many single beads were on each, and were there enough? Most strings had 25…. 
    Miranda and I each began to count. She counted the first string and announced, “Twenty seven.” I counted the second string and said, “Twenty seven.” She grabbed a calculator, hit some buttons, and whispered, “Four times 27 is 108.” We each picked up a strand and counted. “Twenty seven,” we said together. I took that as a sign, and we designed the strand using the round beads as the 108 daily recollections. 
    All endings being new beginnings, you are looking at the “center” bead, which is also the end
    This version of the prayer was written by Barbara Brodsky. She and a student of hers designed the first necklace. Here is one of my favorite sections you may also enjoy:
    Marker bead:                    I remember the ten perfections and will practice them well
    43rd bead:             Generosity
    44th bead:              Morality       
    45th bead:              Energy
    46th bead:              Wisdom
    47th bead:              Renunciation
    48th bead:              Lovingkindness
    49th bead:              Truthfulness
    50th bead:              Resolution (clarity)
    51st bead:              Equanimity
    52nd bead:             Patience
    Intention bead:        In this way will I train myself
    I am reminded that mistakes can lead to surprising gifts. I am reminded that what we need is already provided. I am reminded that teamwork yields magical results. I am reminded that there is a divine thread holding everything together.
    This morning as I wear my beads and head out to share “When Nothing More Can be Done” as guest speaker at the church down the street, I will add these to my daily recollection. I am so thankful for all of this.

  • When Nothing More Can Be Done


     “Illness and the opportunity it presents people to engage consciously and actively in a journey toward wholeness can be one of the most transformative experiences that life offers. It provides you with space for self-reflection, for caring for yourself and your needs in a way that may not have been possible in your busy everyday life. It can give you time for learning about who you are, your purpose, your potential; a time for reassessing your priorities and the value of your relationships, work, and possessions. Illness (or disease) can be the beginning of a deep, spiritual quest.” Rituals of Healing :Using Guided Imagery for Health and Wellness, by Jeanne Achterberg, Ph.D., Barbara Dossey, M.S., FAAN, and Leslie Kolmeier, R.N., MEd., (p. 12). 
    New York City in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.
    As  Hurricane Sandy slams into the U.S., the system brought winds high enough to knock out my power here in Michigan. It is difficult to read about and watch the reports of damage. And it comes at a time that is already tender for me as I prepare to be guest speaker at Berrien Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Sunday morning at 10:30.
    The title of the message is, “When Nothing More Can Be Done.” The message is based around the inner journey that happens to a person when the medical community gives up on him or her. In 1999 when Jane’s surgeon saw 22 malignant tumors on her liver, he closed her back up and told her he could not keep cutting on her. Saying her head was in a bad place, he suggested she find a “holistic healer”.
    I have never met that surgeon, but I am grateful to him for giving Jane a nudge toward changes that were much more than skin-deep. In Love & Survival: 8 Pathways to Intimacy and Healing, Dr. Dean Ornish reminds readers that even when drugs and surgery are necessary, they are just the beginning. The physical body – the heart, is more than just a mechanical pump. Ornish says you also have an emotional heart, a psychological heart, and a spiritual heart. 
    “Curing is when the physical disease gets measurably better. Healing is a process of becoming whole. Even the words heal and whole and holy come from the same root. Returning healing to medicine is like returning justice to law.”(p. 15)
    You can read my story, but the abbreviated version is my having been in chronic pain, on lots of prescription pain medication, diagnosed with a degenerative disease, and told that I would never have quality of life. Quite often I have been heard saying it is fortunate that you do not have to take bad medical advice, even if you paid good money to get it.
    When Jane called me that first day, I told her the truth: Healing is the most natural of processes. I told her we can all remember a time when you cut a finger or skinned a knee. Something inside you allowed healing to occur. That something inside you is your innate healing capacity.
    The greatest goal for everyone who works as a facilitator of healing, is to support the individual discovering the attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors which turn on this innate healing capacity to its maximum.
    The Tibetan Book of the Dead is actually more of a manual for the living. It does address the questions around what might happen to us after death. As Annie Shapiro writes, “Once you realize that life and death are not separate, then death becomes just a continuation of the journey.”
    San Francisco’s Laguna Honda Hospital, a model of care from the Middle Ages.
    While mere focus on cure—rather than on healing—might see all death as failure, when you come to look at life as the process of living, as more than flesh and bones, you gain a greater sense of the sacred art of healing. You might enjoy reading this review of Victoria Sweet’s book, God’s Hotel: A Doctor, A Hospital, and a Pilgrimage To The Heart of Medicine: “Because caring was what created the personal relationship between patient and doctor. And that relationship was the secret of healing.” (p. 82)
    I am so blessed to have Jane Foster accompany me on Sunday morning, and I am sure folks there will want to hear her share some of her personal account. If you are not able to be there in person, you can meet Jane in a short video interview I did when Jane and I met for lunch in May 2011.   
    The things that promote a genuine sense of meaning in our lives, our connection to others and to what is sacred, can heal our lives even when medicine is not able to cure Text Box: SCS Matters, LLC Subtle Communications Systems 4230 Lincoln Avenue • St. Joseph, MI 49085 • 269.921.2217 • www.scs-matters.com Debra Basham debra@scs-matters.com • Joel P. Bowman joel@scs-matters.com our bodies.