Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Yellow Brick Road

  • All of the Rest

    Well, the itching that I endured during an eight-day silent meditation retreat was not contact dermatitis after all. AND a yeast infection can be made worse because topical corticosteroids weaken the skin’s defenses and allow yeast infections to invade deeper into the skin. This week I have been on three prescriptions (oral and topical) and I am almost totally itch-free. This all ties in so well with themes from the “Awakening – As Sudden, Gradual and Both” Deep Spring retreat, and with a conversation begun this week with the Chairman of the Board for the Samuel U. Rodgers Health Center – a federally qualified health center in Kansas City, Missouri.

    You see, as Barbara Brodsky stated so clearly, “Its not the agitation that is a problem, its the aversion to the agitation.”

    Barbra continued, “The mind that is constantly worried about it is not part of the solution. The mind in stillness is.”

    And then, “The only way we can resolve any of this is within ourselves.”

    On the first day of the retreat, Saturday, October 29. 2022, Jackson (our 22 month old great grandson) had a seizure in the parking garage of Children’s Hospital at Erlanger in Chattanooga, Tennessee, where he had been admitted on the evening of Monday, October 24. He was airlifted to Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, Tennessee.

    On the last day of the retreat, Saturday, November 5, 2022, he was re-admitted into PICU and placed on a vent.

    “Sometimes you can not fix it. Sometimes you are living life one strobe light after another…” Aaron was speaking of Barbara’s having been awakened shortly after falling asleep many times hour-after-hour by a flashing, vibrating, strobe light. “She could not control the outcome. She could control what was inside her own heart.”

    The folks in Kansas City are justified in being frustrated by the snafu in the system that leaves entire populations under-served and individual persons with less-than-optimal lives. But, every moment of agitation adds agitation to the universe. The world’s waters are chaotic.

    Barbara Marx Hubbard told folks to ask what you are born to do and then follow the compass of joy. Samuel Ulysses Rodgers did just that. (See: More Than a Doctor: The Extraordinary Life of Samuel Ulysses Rodgers) The book demonstrates, through family stories of triumph over adversity, that core family values are the cornerstone of character essential to integrity-filled leadership.

    Rodgers is not the only one who has a destiny to make a difference. One of India’s greatest spiritual teachers, Neem Karoli Baba, opened Larry’s heart and told him his destiny was to work for the World Health Organization to help eradicate killer smallpox. He would never have believed he would become a key player in eliminating a 10,000-year-old disease that killed more than half a billion people in the 20th century alone. Larry’s story, and his last name, is chronicled in Sometimes Brilliant: The Impossible Adventure of a Spiritual Seeker and Visionary Physician Who Helped Conquer the Worst Disease in History. Check out his TED talks about smallpox and Covid, and see if you might want to buy the book.

    More importantly, please buy the truth: every moment of agitation adds agitation to the universe.

    Thinking outside of the box, moving through experiences with presence, having an open heart, listening without judgment — these are the transformative results of RESTING.

    Resting. Not wrestling.

    I laugh about the many iterations of what we call everything other than allopathic medicine: alternative (coined by the AMA), holistic, integrative, functional…. the best comment I ever heard was when someone asked a doctor whether he practiced holistic medicine. He said, “Medicine is either effective or ineffective, nothing else.” Whether patient, doctor, nurse, care-giver — it is clear the system is in chaos. I could write a book about the ways a one-size-fits-all approach works (as well as with pantyhose). But, wrestling with it only strengthens it.

    When I was a spokesperson for (at that time) holistic health in our wider community, I would say that a true holistic model considered the best of the West, and all of the rest.

    My friend, Anna Marie, said imagine living with awareness of the wisdom within: “Somewhere in that person’s life, he or she has available the next thing needed.” I have said it only slightly differently: “There is no right thing for every one, but there is a right thing for this person at this moment.”

    The love and support that is holding space for our Jackson is palpable. You could walk across water and never get wet we are being so held up. We do not know what the next moment will bring for him, or for us.

    Jackon enjoying reading with G-pa
    at Vanderbilt Tuesday, November 8, 2022.

    What do I want to bring to the next moment? Awareness. Presence. An open heart.

    Flight of the Garuda conveys the heart advice of one of the most beloved nonsectarian masters of Tibet, Shabkar.

    This self awareness is naturally free from the very first. How amazing that it is liberated by just resting — at ease in whatever happens!
    ~ The Flight of the Garuda

  • Birds at Oakwood

    The 8-day silent meditation retreat will take more than one Yellow Brick Road to share with readers. Day One included 22-month old, Jackson, our great grandson, being air-lifted from the hospital in Chattanooga to Vanderbilt after he had a seizure in the parking garage following discharge.

    Day Eight is complete with nurse Linda diagnosing the rash I have been plagued with all week as likely a yeast infection. I will spare you photos of that, but more about both of these strong catalysts are sure to appear at a later date….

    Birds were an active part of my inner process this past week, so I will share with you their respective totem meanings in the order of their appearance:

    1. Chickadee Meaning

    Lots of Chickadees were in the grasses out back when I went for a short walk on dinner break of the Deep Spring Center Oakwood-at-home retreat with Barbara Brodsky and John Orr, and a host of spirit friends, as well as dharma sisters and brothers.

    People with the chickadee totem animal are fiercely protective of their “flock.” This manifests itself as vigilance which can at times become excessive. It is crucial that people with this totem animal learn to recognize the difference between healthy caution and anxiety.

    Chickadee tells you to be cheerful and hold your head up in all situations. You can transform your life and dictate your outcomes by thinking positively.

    Click to hear the Chickadee.

    2. Swan Meaning

    Each day I would choose a “touch” stone. I held the swan rose quartz on Monday.

    You become aware of your own inner beauty. You also unfold the ability to bridge to other realms and powers. The swan medicine helps you see the beauty of yourself as well as of others despite outer appearances. And that ability makes you like a ‘magnet’ that draws other people to you.

    3. Woodpecker Meaning

    The woodpecker teaches us to look beneath the surface of things and to open up our minds to the hidden meanings, lessons, and opportunities that life on earth has to offer.

    4. Blue Jay Meaning

    Blue Jays relate to everything from strength to confidence to communication, depending on the context in which you see them. For some, these birds have the reputation of being loud, aggressive, and mean. However, certain cultures see them as lucky or a symbol of good things to come.

    5. Crow Meaning

    Crows show up to let you know that there are spiritual shifts happening around you and remind you to pay attention to the spiritual messages that are sent to guide you. They represent transformation, cycles, psychic tools, and insight into unseen realms. Crows are problem solvers and can help you tune into a solution when you are faced with a challenge.

    6. Sparrow Meaning

    As the carillon at Pilgrim UCC church on the corner nearby began playing, the Sparrows in the shrub just outside my window began to sing right along! I noted in my retreat journal that this was happening, and clearly I heard in my mind, “Would you miss my sweet song just because I’m so ordinary?”

    Surprising Sparrow facts.

    The sparrow totem animal is connected with unity, selflessness, and integrity. People with the sparrow as their totem tend to be great team players…

    The House Sparrow (Passer domesticus) is, in fact, one of the most common and widespread animals on this planet. Although our familiarity with these birds often desensitizes us to their beauty, these common birds are no less fascinating and beautiful.

    Sacred to the goddess Aphrodite of the Greek pantheon, to Vishnu in Hindu mythology, and both Branwen and Rhiannon in Welsh mythology, the sparrow’s common nature has earned it a place in cultural traditions around the world.

    7. Blue Grosbeak Meaning

    Okay, the Blue Grosbeak sighting was in the wonderful article by my friend, Hart Rufe. His article posted on November 1, but I just saw it today after the end of the retreat. You can access the column at: https://www.stlucieaudubon.org/hart-beat-2022. New with this column is access to all past columns right in the top of the current page

    Symbolic of many things, including faith, adaptability, romance, and good news; the grosbeak is an endless source of wisdom. Like all birds, grosbeaks teach us to appreciate the beauty and blessings of the natural world. Different grosbeak colors have different symbolic meanings. Rose feathers symbolize emotions and they tell you to find a heart song that will heal your pain. Blue and green feathers signify abundance, fortune, harmony, and the possibility of a wedding.

    It is my sacred intention for that wedding to be a union of each human being with the higher self. May the benefits of this retreat be a blessing to all beings.

    Thank you, Claudia Mierau, for sharing this beautiful poem from the book, Go In and In, by Danna Faulds.

      “Allow” by Danna Faulds

      There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightning bolt, containing a tornado.
Dam a stream and it will create a new channel.
Resist, and the tide will sweep you off your feet.

      Allow, and grace will carry you to higher ground.
The only safety lies in letting it all in – 
the wild and the weak –
 fear, fantasies, failures, and success.

      When loss rips off the doors of the heart
 or sadness veils your vision with despair,
 practice becomes simply bearing the truth. In the choice to let go of your known way of being, the whole world is revealed to your new eyes.

  • Good Can Come From This

    This post was started on October 17, 2022. Today is now ten days later. I cannot explain fully what derailed my completing the entry, but, say only, a lot has changed during this interim. The post began with this:

      On Sunday, October 16, this loving blessing came through Barbara Brodsky:

      The Mother to Debra (10/16/2022)

      I love you.

      I know you heard what I said to the friend before you. The joys, the challenges, and with the challenge, “What gift have you brought me?”

      You are wise, My Dear One, and you understand that the challenge comes with a gift, but sometimes in your hurry to get through the challenge you don’t pause long enough to really see and to know the gift. Watch that fix-it mind that wants to push through it rather than pausing and saying, “Yes, ah…. Challenge, challenge. I am here to receive your gift.”

      And just rest there for a bit.

      The gifts reveal themselves to you but you’re still in a hurry to move through the challenge rather than experiencing the fullness of the gifts.

      “What gift have you brought me? Thank you. Thank you.”

      And it’s fine at the same time to say, “Yes, but this is too heavy for me right now so I wish to release it.” It’s fine to ask that, and the gift will return again in another form.

      I am with you and helping you. I love you.

    The “challenge” over the past few days surrounds our 22-month-old great grandson, Jackson. On Monday evening, October 24, Jackson had a seizure. He was taken by ambulance and admitted to Pediatric Intensive Care at Children’s Hospital at Erlanger in Chattanooga, Tennessee, where he has continued to have absence seizures, meaning they are detected on the EEG, but not by the human eye.

    Imagine a toddler with tubes and leads and restraints, and lots of pokes and lots of medications, and nothing at all normal…. that is where Himz (one of our nickname for Jackson) still is at the time of this post on Thursday morning, October 27.

    Of course, our concern and compassion is for Jackson, but also for his mom, our granddaughter, Courtney. And for our daughter, Stacey, Courtney’s mom. And for Jackson’s dad; Papa Bear, G-Pa…. Uncles, Brad and Adam. We are all shook to the core with these developments.

    John is so bonded to Jackson. Jackson was a major part of John’s healing goals when he went through the open-heart surgery in January. Getting to Tennessee in April on our way back to Michigan was about seeing Jackson.The color of Jackson’s favorite green blanket became a cue image for John’s recovery.

    This has been such a clear time for me of noticing myriad points of view in a single experience. My own childhood medical trauma (being hospitalized and treated for polio at age five); my terror when Stacey was about that age and face-planted into a fieldstone fireplace requiring a trip to the emergency room for stitches; month’s old grandson Brad’s being taken by ambulance during a Saturday night snowstorm with RSV…. Seeing every condition like waves in the ocean. Each appearing as separate, but part of the whole.

    Here is a recent photo of Jackson happily eating his first sandwich.

    I was not very skillful when Stacey had to have stitches. In fact, they would not allow me to go into the room with her because I was so distraught. The memory of John and me leaving the hospital with our baby (Stacey) folded into the crib under an oxygen tank with her baby (Brad) is as active now as it was 32 years ago.

    Each experience is woven together. Some threads are more obvious. Some patterns are more hidden.

    On Tuesday afternoon as Jackson was being sedated for an MRI, having a spinal tap to rule out some infection that might be causing the seizures, and wired with a continual EEG…. I wrote in my journal: “Good can come from this.”

    At meditation online that afternoon Sheilana’s poignant opening words, ”Why do we try to figure it out? Why don’t we just live and breathe and let it just be what it is? Is there any reason for me to believe that it should be anything or any way other than it is?”

    The theme for that evening’s class with Barbara Brodsky: When something startles you, or pain arises or fear, what state and stage of consciousness opens habitually with that challenge?

    Wednesday morning waiting news about how they were all doing, I put the following scripture on the Basham Family list:

    Romans 8:26

    In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans….

    Again this morning I wrote in my journal: “Good can come from this.”

    P.S. On Wednesday afternoon Stacey stepped out of Jackson’s room to give us a call. It was the first time we had spoken on the phone since all of this occurred and she was crying. A stranger handed her a card. Many of you have seen that card in a Sacred story post, but for any who have not, here is the link: Card From a Stranger
    P.S.S. Just as I was about to push publish, news that when the EEG was taken off Jackson sat up and smiled. His mom said, “I never knew how much I missed that smile!”

  • A Clean Slate


    On Tuesday night in class the teacher told us, “Karma is never a punishment; there is always a desire to learn.” I was so drawn to the words and to the implication of that truth. A subtle curiosity dawned as to from where the idea of a punishing supreme being came.

      When love and hate are both absent
      everything becomes clear and undisguised.
      Make the smallest distinction, however,
      and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart.

      ~ From “Views of the Faith Mind”

    We are so very conditioned to polarities, we sometimes take for granted they “exist.”

    What if polarities are really just conditioned states of mind?

    In The Sound of Silence, Ajahn Sumedho describes a state that is “ever present but only noticed if attended to.”

    My blood pressure has been up again since Hurricane Ian came onshore in our beloved community in Southwest Florida, before driving destruction onward across the state and on up into North Carolina. As I was sitting with all of that on October 12, I realized the elevated blood pressure might really be Europe anniversary energy from 2011. I was going to the foot doctor later in the morning so I sat a clear intention to have everything be released with the day’s procedure.

    Before leaving for my appointment I did a drawing and heard song lyrics in my head: What goes up, must come down; spinning wheel got to go round; talkin’ bout your troubles, it’s a cryin’ sin.

    Then a poem:

      A Clean Slate

      My past is a thief robbing me of today
      but only if I hold on — that’s the only way
      I breathe in
      I breathe out
      I let go
      I move out

      No more ruminating
      this is the root
      today renders all those yesterdays
      absolutely moot

      Today the autumn hues
      can erase a history of blues
      the reds
      yellows bright
      orange shining
      with glorious light

      These cells and pores
      win or lose
      when I’m saving scores
      wipe the slate clean
      that’s what we mean

      Do it now
      let it go

      Compassion
      can and will flow

      Debra Basham October 12, 2022

    After I got home from the doctor, I had the first normal blood pressure reading in several days. I finished reading The Cherry Harvest, by Lucy Sanna. I did not like the ending. Online I saw this line in one review, “Really digs into the hidden behaviors that people often have but would never admit.” I wrote in my journal that I prefer a happy ending.

    John Lennon is credited with saying everything will be okay in the end, so if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.

    More from “Views of the Faith Mind” that resonates with all of this:

      Do not search for the truth;
      only cease to cherish opinions.
      do not remain in the dualistic state.
      Avoid such pursuits carefully.
      If there is even a trace of this and that,
      of right and wrong,
      the mind-essence will be lost in confusion.

      Although all dualities come from the One,
      do not be attached even to this One.
      When the mind exists undisturbed in the Way,
      nothing in the world can offend.
      And when a thing can no longer offend,
      it ceases to exist in the old way.

    A few minutes ago I went out and took a video of the sky. To the left and to the right of a heavy band of clouds there was blue sky. It was so obvious that what you see depends on where you are looking.

    A lot of life related to wintering in Pine Island has ceased to exist in the old way, yet another opportunity to breathe in and out and let go….

  • Invite to Arise and Allow to Dissolve

    The days feel a bit otherworldly since hurricane Ian paid a visit to our seasonal paradise in St. James City on Pine Island, Florida. Devastation is the best descriptor. The island has been deemed “uninhabitable” for the unforeseeable future with no power, water, sewer, or emergency services.

    The sense of loss comes in concentric circles. The smallest circle is the interruption to our coveted winter life-style. Then to the homeowners, and finally to those whose only home is (was) there. The island is also home to so much wildlife that must be shocked as well. Bald Eagle, the Gopher Tortoise, the Pileated Woodpecker, the Great Blue Heron, to name just a few.

    We received a video after our homeowner made it to ground zero yesterday. The damage is overwhelming. So many of our friends are affected. John’s shuffleboard buddy called to say they are not coming back. “We are too old, and I am too tired,” Richie said. Again, those circles.

    We view the damage from a safe distance within the comfort of our tiny house here in Michigan.

    Our grandson, Brad, drove to Florida from Tennessee with donated supplies to assist his dad in Englewood, who lost a roof. It is estimated that 90-95 percent of homes in that community were damaged. Brad’s paternal grandparent’s home was a total loss, like so many others we know and love.

    I realized it feels like going through the grand letting go that happens for us all at the time of death, but we are going through it now without leaving our bodies.

    I appreciate that a friend sent a passage from Eckhart Tolle’s Stillness Speaks: “Death is not the opposite of life. Life has no opposite. The opposite of death is birth. Life is eternal.” (p. 103)

    Betty Lue Lieber (my beloved teacher and friend who founded the interfaith ordination program of Reunion I was ordained through) sent the Daily Quote from Abraham Hicks:

      You cannot be less than you are now. You cannot achieve a vibration that is less than the vibration that you have achieved. That’s why when someone achieves an empire and then something happens where it is lost or destroyed, they still have the vibration that they’ve achieved, and the empire will come back again—you see it all the time—because it is the vibrational status that the Universe is responding to, not the financial status.

      Excerpted from Philadelphia, PA on 5/7/03

      Our Love
      Esther (Abraham and Jerry)

    This morning when my sister, Janis, and I turned over our 2022 Magic Eye Calendar to October we saw myriad animals — including buffalo, bear, deer, eagle, and feather. It is a very BUSY image. Key words that came to mind are Native American; Mother Earth; and Nature.

    The underneath (3D image) is simply two sets of human hands coming down on to two drums. We both thought: Heart beat of the earth.

    There is soooooo much going on on the surface, but underneath we can feel hopeful. First Janis said it felt hopeful, but then the word ENCOURAGING came to mind.

    Reading on in Stillness Speaks:

      People tend to be uncomfortable with endings, because every ending is a little death. That’s why in many languages, the word for “good-bye” means “see you again.”

      Whenever an experience comes to an end — a gathering of friends, a vacation, your children leaving home — you die a little death. A “form” that appeared in y9ur consciousness as that experience dissolves. Often this leaves behind a feeling of emptiness that most people try hard not to face.

      If you can learn to accept and even welcome the endings in your life, you may find that the feeling of emptiness that initially felt uncomfortable turns into a sense of inner spaciousness that is deeply peaceful.

      By learning to die daily in this way, you open yourself to Life. (p. 106-107)

    Two experiences from my past come to mind. The first was when the entire lower level at Holistic Alliance was flooded with grey water. That was a total BEING of awareness that what would be would be. Like Doris Day’s singing Qué será, será, whatever will be, will be; the future’s not ours to see; Qué será, será.

    The second was the night I unknowingly ate food containing shellfish while I was in Thailand and I became violently ill. I was alone with no way to get any help. After the vomiting and diarrhea slowed to where I could crawl to the bedroom and lie down, I turned on my Everlasting Peace CD fully aware whatever will be, will be. If I was going to die, I wanted to live until then in everlasting peace.

    This morning, Aaron’s words point to a new way of navigating this feeling of emptiness.

    There is nothing to create; there is nothing to destroy. There is only the power that is inherent in your essence, which is the essence of All That Is, the power of love that is able to fully invite that which is wholesome and release that which is unwholesome. To create and to destroy are 3rd density concepts; invite to arise and allow to dissolve are 4th density concepts. Are you ready for it? ~ Aaron

  • Embrace Your Radiance and Power

    Sometimes it takes hindsight to see most clearly how to move forward.

    This morning I came across a Beyond Mastery Newsletter post from ten years ago. The title of that post is “You’re Pushin’ Too Hard.” Here it is:

      I may have been affected by a week of flu, but these words to the song “You’re Pushin’ Too Hard,” by the Seeds, just keep rolling in my head: “You’re pushin’ too hard, what you want me to be, about the things you say, you’re pushin’ too hard every night and day…. All I want is to just have fun, live my life like it’s just begun.…”

      In Jin Shin Jyutsu, pushin’ too hard is called efforting, and in ways perhaps known only to the soul, it is based on a lack of trust. I don’t often think of myself as lacking trust, and I often speak quite to the contrary, expressing ultimate trust in Divine Intelligence, or LIFE, or the Universe, what is sometimes in this culture called God. What does it mean, then, that efforting is oh, too, familiar….

      An exercise I have invited myself and others to play goes something like this, “If you could have anything you wanted, what would that be? And if you had that now, what would your having it now allow you to do or have or be that you have seemed unable to do or have or be currently?”

      Recently, I am very aware of the gap in ease I experience about that answer. I know my life would have an element of service in it, and yet, I am not called to anything concrete in the ways I used to be. I know my life would have time for balance of body, mind, and spirit. I would exercise, preferably by riding my bike most days. I would eat healthy food, and enjoy well-prepared meals. I would meditate daily, as well as join group meditation. I would write. I have come to recognize how much writing is central in my spiritual balance.

      When I ask if I would work, I cannot answer that with perfect clarity. Would I teach? Maybe. Would I preach if I had the opportunity? Maybe.

      One question that can still bring tears to my eyes has to do with a sense of failure. I know my mother felt she had wasted her life. At the time she was expressing those feelings, they struck me as so odd, after all, she had me! Perhaps she had been responding to a deeper dream that had not revealed itself in her doing. She was an amazing cook. She could make an eight-course meal look easy. Her own needs for food were minimal, but her need to feed those she loves was nearly insatiable. Meatloaf for one, roast beef for another. Lasagna. Cornbread. When the kids were all young, and several of them preferred the center of the pan of cinnamon rolls, she would make several, so everyone got a center!

      I am not sure my soul needs that level of pandering to, but it does need to be heard, and honored, and allowed a say in what I do with my time and energy.

      I shall give my soul pen here and see what is desiring to be shared!

      What small gift can I bring?

      • I can open the door for someone who is rushing in or out.

      • I can listen to someone who is feeling alone or confused.

      • I can remember to breathe when those around me are in stressful moments.

      • I can pick up a piece of trash when I see it and not harbor a thought about how it came to be there in the first place.

      • I can tip well when service was poor and tip even better when service is great.

      What might it mean that I find no lofty goals when I look deeply inside? Perhaps nature has seeped into my being and contentment is being born where restlessness once whipped my moods like March winds working kites as delighted children watch with their eyes all aglow. I cannot imagine the roses pining or the Bluebird considering a life being lived a failure.

      Maybe seen in its true light, even the greatest loss is really a gain. I am willing to think of it this way and give it time to see if that is what is happening.

    Re-reading this is especially significant after the message I received during Darshan (a blessing from The Mother) during Remembering Wholeness with Barbara Brodsky yesterday.

      I know you are familiar with the experience of shame. I don’t mean an intense horror “OH!” of shame, but just, “Oh, I only got 98 on that. I could have gotten 100. I could have put a little more love into it; I could have paid a little more attention.”

      Sometimes being more perfectionist can be helpful — if someone is lazy or sloppy about things — but when one is already giving so much love, then being perfectionists is a way of negating the gift of the self. What does that mean?

      I think it’s mostly an old habit, but not entirely, so, I’d like you to ask when you move into that sense of subtle smallness, that sense of, “I could have done it better,” to ask, “What do I gain by putting myself down in that way? Why can I not embrace my full radiance and power?”

      And, especially I’m talking about power.

      What if you are as powerful as I know you to be? What then?

      I look forward to seeing what evolves as you start to open up to your power.

      I love you, and I am with you.

    When I read down my bulleted list from 2012, I can see that I live all of those desires. It is time for a new list….

    What might evolve as I open fully to my power?

      • I will welcome each day with expectancy that the power of the Holy Spirit is alive within me.

      • I will give each experience room to reveal the Holy Spirit’s grace and gift that experience offers.

      • I will worry less about dying and care more about living as a radiant expression of Holy Spirit.

      • I will express exuberantly the power of the Holy Spirit for the good of all.

      • I will see a 98 as “Well done, good and faithful servant.”


    A monarch butterfly travels as much as 100 miles a day
    during its 3,000-mile migration south.

  • Before and After

    Everything that is good in the world
    comes from love, land, and labor.

    ~ Van Jones

    My previous Yellow Brick Road posted on August 14. Today is Labor Day, September 5, 2022. This may be the longest time between posts EVER. Or perhaps it isn’t, but it has been (for sure) quite some time.

    The great room turned out, well, GREAT! It ended up not being just a low job. I painted everything except the crown molding, the trim around the door, and the beam.

    Then I painted the library alcove. The new look is so very easy on the eyes….

    On Wednesday, August 17, our Day 6, John and I both tested negative for Covid.

    On Friday, August 19, 2022, when I saw the two red lines on John’s retest, all I could say was, “Dammit… dammit… DAMMIT.”

    My Day 8, suddenly became my new Day Zero.

    Even though Linda thought it was too late to take precautions from exposure now to John, I felt I had to. It is not easy to isolate living in a tiny house, but I was clear on my intention. We both masked any time we were in the same room. We used separate dish towels, and only paper towels to dry our hands. We switched our stuff so he used the main bath and I used the guest bath. Essentially, I moved into the guest room. We ate dinner together, but he sat at the table and I used a TV tray sitting in the little rocking chair from Bozena. He always handled the remote control for the TV.

    I was negative for Covid again on Wednesday, August 24, my second Day 6. Negative again on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday – my second Day 8, 9, and 10. On Saturday, we were able to go to Norleen’s Backyard Birthday Bash, to St. John in New Buffalo on Sunday. You have to understand what a relief it was to not have to test on Monday. Woohoo!

    Coincidentally, exactly one year ago we had Covid. Exactly….

    So much has changed in the past year. On Saturday night of Labor Day weekend last year, John had the horrific anxiety, resulting in Larry Gunter’s taking him to ER on Sunday evening. The very next day, Jerry Basham had the abdominal aortic aneurysm on Labor Day. Jerry passed a few weeks later, on September 24. John had the sciatica flare all of November and December; quadruple bypass surgery in January; TIA in April; low-pressure event May 5 in the neurologist’s office. When I had the transient global amnesia in June, John was in an even worse sciatica flare. On Thursday, August 25, John got very weak and sweaty and then horribly nauseous while mowing the lawn. He was taken by ambulance to ER, and recovered well from what was likely dehydration. We have gotten through it all, and we are both doing very well!

    I had to buy more of the expensive primer because next I am going to paint the gallery wall and the furnace closet. In truth, I am going to paint all of the back hallway.

    The before and after is remarkable. TRULY remarkable….


  • A Cloudy Day

    The past few days have unfolded very differently from my plans. I had expected to share fish-fry with Linda and Larry and Linda and Fred and play Hand-and-Foot on Friday evening, and to make vegetable beef soup with my mother’s cornbread for dinner on Saturday with Janis and Larry. I planned a visit with Delcy Kuhlman on Monday morning (to see the new retreat space already sporting a bed). The bed is on loan. She says the veneer has slivered off the headboard, revealing the image of an angel. Jane Foster was scheduled to come for lunch on Wednesday.

    Each of those wonderfully wanted experiences were crossed off my calendar when we received a text from Lora at 8:21 am Friday, “Asking for your prayers. John and I have tested positive for COVID.” John and John had gone out for coffee on Thursday morning and in the evening John and I had been with John for about 40 minutes.

    Normally there are 12-20 people at the Thursday jam. When no one else showed up for the jam, we went home.

    On Wednesday the CDC updated Covid exposure protocol. Ten days of precaution: first five – isolation or being with others only with a proper medically-approved mask, even if no symptoms test on day 6, and if negative, continue to mask until day 10. Thursday was our Day Zero.

    Day 1, Friday, August 12, 2022:
    Well before noon, I was painting paneling in the great room.


    Perhaps the job was begun a bit too impulsively since I was using only the paint left over from the previous kitchen cabinet project, without any primer. That paneling was soaking up paint like a lawn after a six-week drought when the rains come…

    I had the wherewithal to stop.

    Friday evening, after a conference call with Larry Britton, I knew I needed to put on gloves and a mask, and make a trip to Sherwin Williams before continuing. I needed supplies.

    I’ve begun reading The Rent Collector, by Camron Wright, in which the main character, Sang Ly, learns to read with the hope of creating a way out of their current living conditions: they live in and survive by picking through garbage in Cambodia’s largest municipal dump.

    Day 2, Saturday, August 13, 2022:
    Saturday morning at 8 o’clock I called Sherwin Williams to say I did not have Covid, but would be coming into the store in gloves and a mask because I had been exposed. “Laney” said that was okay. She did keep her distance, and as she carried the two gallons to my car she told me in two weeks she was going on her first vacation in two years. I told her I understood completely and that was why I could not come in without calling first.

    The name of paint color is Cultured Pearl. According to Wikipedia, cultured pearls are formed within a cultured pearl sac with human intervention in the interior of productive living molluscs in a variety of conditions depending upon the mollusc and the goals.[1] Just as the same as natural pearls, cultured pearls can be cultivated in seawater or freshwater bodies. Nowadays, over 95% of the pearls available on the market would be cultured pearls.

    By dinner time, two walls were painted and everything in the area cleaned and furniture put properly placed!

    Day 3, Sunday, August 14, 2022:

    “That is a wonderful lesson, Sang Ly. Remember it.”

    “What was it again?” I ask, not certain to what she is referring.

    She repeats it for me. “In literature, everything means something.”

    We open the pages and read.

    ~ The Rent Collector, by Camron Wright

    It is cloudy today. My knees and hips are sore from all of the squatting. This is a low job…. I am not sure if I will take the day off or persevere.

    I had anticipated Friday, August 12, 2022. Sixty years earlier, when I was twelve years old, my dad and I were in a serious auto accident — an accident in which I had an out-of-body near death experience (NDE) that has shaped my view of the world. I had expected to write, to ride my bike, to give space to be on a very inner journey. I certainly had not anticipated painting paneling.

    A poem gives rise on the page in my journal.

      A Cloudy Day

      Daily light replaces darkness
      and light begats light
      Where nothing reflected
      now everything does

      Oh, for sure
      you can see perfections
      formerly hidden
      now quite obvious
      but soooooo worth it

      Seeing all in the light
      even the flaws
      are lovely
      each adds an element
      of uniqueness, telling a tale

      Today the sun is hidden
      clouds rule the sky
      But still the sun shines
      and the light is, only
      waiting to reveal its gloriousness

      The sun still shines
      even on a cloudy day

      ~ Debra Basham, August 14, 2022

    P.S. Word came last evening from Gary Zukav, author of The Seat of the Soul, that his beloved, Linda Francis, transitioned on August 6. Linda Beushausen Gunter and I had the honor of spending a day with them some years back. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

      My Dear Spiritual Partner,

      Linda Francis, my Beloved, my spiritual partner, my life partner, my co-creator in everything, my co-author, my inspiration and model, completed her journey through the Earth school on August 6. Her soul returned home to nonphysical reality. When a soul decides to return home, nothing can stop it. I saw this happen before my eyes. Linda was at my side in our kitchen when the stroke came. Within hours an experienced surgeon had attempted three times to remove the clot in her brain, yet it could not be removed.

      I am still reeling. Each time I turn to say something to Linda and realize that she is not here to answer me, and each time I rush home with groceries to be with her again and remember that she will not be there when I arrive, and countless experiences like these are each a source of great pain for me and also an opportunity to create authentic power. Each hurts a lot before I recognize it for what it is – a frightened part of my personality – and move my attention away from “what ifs” and “if onlys” to what is actually happening in the moment, and toward an opportunity to love, to support, to contribute.

      This is not over for me, and it is probably not over for you. I and our precious support team will send you some practical thoughts and suggestions over the next few weeks so you can practice transforming your experiences into opportunities to create authentic power. You will receive your first emails next week. I invite you to experiment with them and to let me know at garyzukav@seatofthesoul.com what happens.

      I hope you are healthy and joyful and appreciating the power and beauty of each moment.

      Linda joins me in sending you love.

      Love,
      Gary

  • Things Said and Unsaid

    How was it that her whole life could be
    distilled down to that simple truth?
    Words mattered.
    Her life had been defined
    by things said and unsaid….

    Winter Garden: A Novel
    by Kristin Hannah

    Yesterday morning on my bike ride I had one of those mundane moments that reveal such eternal truth it almost takes your breath away. Making the left turn into a short cul-de-sac, I saw a cat stretched out on the driveway. In my best, high-pitched voice I spoke my heart, “Hello, Kitty!!!”

    Every rotation of the bike’s tires revealed deep yearning for a close encounter of the cat kind. Since 2000, I had cat energy in my life weekly, when I was in Kalamazoo at Joel’s home. The current generation of cats: Bobbie, McGee, and Zeus, were adopted into a new home after Joel was moved to a memory-care facility in Tennessee late this spring.

    Loss of Joel’s intellect, his collaboration, his witness to my birth as a writer was entwined with the loss of the satiating love of cat.

    During the winters in Florida, I would go to Great Licks Ice Cream Parlor, to pet the cat. Many a morning bike ride took me to St. James City Automotive, home of Sonny, who would enjoy the affection so much he would forget to swallow – dripping drool all over himself and me and the floor. (See Sonny in “Fingers on Fur” from 2018.)

    A few days ago, my sister posted on Facebook: There is no greater earthly privilege than to have been loved by a cat. My comment on her post was this emoji with a cat on my head.

    A lively conversation with a dharma sister about the nuance that unconditional love is probably really unconditionED love has opened my heart to so much truth these past days. This morning I was led to a Yellow Brick Road blog post from on February 17, 2019. In that post “Acceptance” I feel a sacred circle of truth: Saying exactly what you need will allow a new pattern to emerge. Be willing to say it gently over and over until the new pattern is stable.

    Circling that cul-de-sac I could feel the grasping for that cat encounter. In my head was a tug-of-war about stopping or not stopping. Approaching the driveway from the other direction, I still did not know if I was going to stop and approach the cat.

    As my subtle energy began making the turn away from the drive, that voice called out, “Have a great day, Kitty!”

    Then and only then, did my awareness expand and notice that the kitty was not the only four-legged in that driveway: A robust German Shepherd had been lying on the asphalt a few feet away from the cat!!!!

    So many times in life grasping or aversion have dictated words said or unsaid.

    One New Years Eve, somewhere about 1980, my resolution was to every day say to Stacey, “I love you”….

    Be willing to say it gently over and over until the new pattern is stable.

    Be willing to say it gently over and over until the new pattern is stable.

    Be willing to say it gently over and over until the new pattern is stable.

  • Dissent with Love

      WORD FOR THE DAY

      Love takes off the masks
      we fear we cannot live without
      and know we cannot live within.

      ~ James Baldwin (Gratefulness.org)

    Group 2 sharing last evening was active with exploring the question of the value of being ordained (in Buddhism). This was not so much an intellectual discussion, but a sincere reflection of the yearning many expressed toward living in a community that honors, respects, and supports those deeper dynamics of mindful living. Several in our group have been exploited by spiritual leaders in this lifetime — emotionally or mentally or sexually — and sometimes all three.

    Many said the time of hero worship or guru gazing have personally passed us by.

    Interesting, just yesterday morning out on a bike ride, Larry was telling me about the great-grandmother of a child Linda had the privilege of doing a baptism for last week. He said this woman is Hispanic, and he assumes she likely has a Catholic background. She also has dementia and, although she never said a word, he felt he could see in her eyes the accusation, “That woman is no priest!”

    Over the years, many miles on this Yellow Brick Road have been walking away from the past where patriarchy choked the rights of women out of our collective lives. This morning, two daily writings address the benefit of having “right view.” The first is from Neale Donald Walsch (author of the series of Conversations with God books).

      … that a point of view different from your own might be well worth entertaining. Sometimes it is not easy hearing an idea that is different from the one you are advancing — yet it might be that second idea for which you were actually reaching. Answers arrive in more ways than one. Sometimes they come through us, and sometimes they come to us.


    Brandon Morton’s son with a baby goat!

    Our bicycle-riding conversation continued, “The church Linda’s brother and sister-in-law and her sister and brother-in-law go to still will not allow women in leadership. The husband is the head of the house, and the wife is by scripture ordered to be submissive to his will. Do you think Linda would go along with that?”

    I responded to Larry, “I would hope she would not, and more than that, I would hope you would not ask that of her.”

    Reading online this morning from The Discrimination of Women in Buddhism: An Ethical Analysis: “Men and women are considered the two wheels of a cart. They should be considered equal if we want the cart to move ahead. If one wheel is smaller than the other, the movement will definitely be impaired.”

    One of the headings in that article leapt off the page: Is Buddhism a Sexist Religion?

    I would also ask, Is Christianity a Sexist Religion?

    Perhaps (blatant or latent) sexism, along with other forms of discrimation, is within all religions and all of our human history. It is HIStory, for heaven’s sake…. But where do we go from here? We only pretend to repair a cart with imbalanced wheel size by exchanging it for a different cart that also has an unbalanced wheel size.

    The second writing that speaks us forth in love and wisdom and respect for all beings comes from Deep Spring Center for Meditation:

    Thought for Today by Aaron

    As we work with these practices, please realize that they are leading you in the direction of trusting your own ability not to enact anger or other negative movement when it arises. To hold it in the heart with compassion until it dissolves. To reclaim your power as higher density beings— no longer a third density human but higher density, able to trust that those around you will not be projecting negativity so it’s safe to share, and you will not be projecting negativity so it’s safe to share. But that you are still capable of saying, “No, I disagree with this or that.” That’s very different than expressing negativity. Expression of view is not an expression of negativity, it’s simply an expression of view. And we learn how to hold different views and deeply hear each other. Then one unified understanding arises and we move forward with it. Or, if one is not in full agreement, one sees that the rest of the group is and abstains from obstructing the process. But if one person thinks, “This will be totally destructive,” one will still hold, “I cannot agree. Go ahead and do what you need to do, but I dissent. But I dissent with love.”

    I was just about ready to push “publish” when I received this additional confirmation from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation Thought for Today:

      The wise person questions himself, the fool others. ~Henri Arnold

      We pray for wisdom, and sometimes we achieve it. The strongest and wisest of men are not threatened by questioning their own answers. If we draw conclusions and blindly stick to them, we can never learn anything new. We have often made the mistake of avoiding the appearance of ignorance.

      Instead, we are at our best when we give ourselves the privilege of being a learner. When someone tells us something we don’t understand or agree with, our best response is to ask for more information. We can take our ego out of the equation, surrender our need to be right, and simply try to learn what is being told to us. What is it that I don’t understand here? What does the other person see that I am missing? When we attain a moment of wisdom, we are open to learning.

      Today, I will give myself the privilege of being a learner.

      From the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men.

    Once your intention is clear, perhaps the answer is also already clear!