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It’s So Simple, Isn’t It?
To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves. ~ Will Durant
From the book In God’s Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery: “The real root of our struggle to speak well of others is the pain we suffer because of our low self-esteem, and diminishing another person’s worth, unfortunately, gives us a moment of stolen satisfaction. But in reality, the illusion of elevating our own worth for that brief, hurtful moment dies quickly, and our remorse and shame linger on.”
Oh, boy…. life is in our faces right now. Weather is a challenge in so many places. We are grateful to be escaping the frigid temperatures and white-out-conditions at home while having copious amounts of liquid sunshine here in Southwest Florida.
Yesterday’s images from our beloved Pine Island show streets flooded. Of course, friends there are still navigating the aftermath of Hurricane Ian. Widespread flooding and still more rain today. Note* This is a road, not a canal or river.

Perhaps all humans have P-T-S-D – probably thinking something’s dreadful.
As I was online this morning with a group that chats following a 45 minute meditation, I had to be very watchful as frustration, sadness and worry moved through my body. My thoughts were along the order of, “If these are some of my sisters and brothers who are most dedicated to being watchful about emotions and thoughts, do humans stand a chance to survive as a race?”
My thoughts and emotions come on the heals of a visit I had on Saturday. I knew as the visit came to an end I was not sharing a point of view with my hostess. The conversation in both of these experiences was centered on what was not working, what the speaker experienced as unfair or unkind. But isn’t wasting our soul’s energy through thoughts of annoyance and feelings of aggravation just more of the same?
Monday is my birthday and I am planning to share a birthday ritual with a dharma friend in Singapore whose birthday is three days later. We will be using some wonderful information pulled together and shared by Dr. Robert Waldon, from Reunion Living Ministries. Here is an excerpt from Robert’s “2024 – Justice and Balance.”
During this year, you will be faced with opportunities to become aware of any areas in your life where you are drawn off center and lose your focus. Rather than letting this awareness shut you down further, recognize that the gift of 2024 is the energy and support to change these patterns.
Remember that you cannot change an old pattern without first becoming aware of what it is and its impact on your life. Celebrate these awarenesses and use this energy to re-create your life and your world. Don’t allow yourself to be pulled too far from your own center with any project and don’t let self-doubt or doubts from others interfere with what you know is best.
Robert also mentions that the potential “pitfall” is provocation, asserting our point of view at the expense of others, coming across as authoritarian and controlling. He says best to be willing to stand up for a belief or cause and convince others by strength of conviction, not strength of force or control. And he reminds us that our true strength comes out in nonjudgmental simplicity.
He offers these affirmations:
“I am gentle and strong.”
“My greatest strength is my compassion and non-judgmental forgiveness, allowing what is truly right for all to freely make itself known.”
As this morning’s conversation continued to be expressions of what is seen as not working, what people don’t like, and what people express they fear is coming, I spoke up. I am not sure if I was gentle and strong but I do know our greatest strength is compassion and non-judgmental forgiveness.
A precious nugget that came from this morning was learning about Vidyamala Burch and her work around navigating pain. While she is primarily speaking about physical pain, she says the pain could be any kind of pain: physical, mental or emotional.
“The problem is mainly resistance…. Everything we do is about learning to soften resistance…. When we resist, we hold the breath.”
Burch has people do a brief exercise. Make a fist. Notice what happened to your breath. There is a strong tendency to hold our breath when our body is in resistance. She asks you to move your attention into the clenched fist and ask the fist what it would like to do. It wants to soften. To let go. To release the tension. Here is a talk/article Burch gave “How Do I Work With Anger?” that you might really appreciate. This is from her talk:
And we’ve all got an autonomic nervous system in our bodies. And the autonomic nervous system is outside our control and it’s got two wings. It’s got the sympathetic wing, which has to do with activation, activity and the parasympathetic wing, which has to do with calming. And the out-breath, if we let the out-breath go all the way out of the body, we’re immediately bringing online the parasympathetic wing, which is calming. And of course when we’re angry and agitated, we’ve got sympathetic overactivity with all the associated hormones.
We’ve got adrenaline, we’ve got cortisol. We feel hot. We feel worked up. We feel edgy. And, uh, as soon as we allow the out-breath to also be emphasized or to overemphasize the out-breath, to give the out-breath really full expression, we’re immediately bringing online the hormones of the parasympathetic system.
This is oxytocin, endorphins. These are calming hormones, they’re peaceful hormones. They’re good for us. And straight away, we feel a little bit better, a little bit less riled, less agitated, less adrenalized. So this is really important.
And it’s so simple, isn’t it?
Years ago my business partner shared something his former co-author had told him: WHETHER YOU GIVE OFFENSE OR TAKE OFFENSE ADDS THE SAME MISERY TO THE UNIVERSE.I think that is going to be my mantra for 2024 because whether I give offense or take offense adds the same physical, emotional, or mental pain. Whether I give offense or take offense it is my sympathetic nervous system which is activated and floods my physical body with adrenaline and cortisol.
And it’s so simple, isn’t it?
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Bison as Beacon
This morning’s Gratefulness.org message by John A. Powell is so perfect as follow up to my having gotten triggered yesterday: “When people’s stories are recognized, it does something. It creates a possibility.”
As so often happens, the Daily Reflection from Deep Spring also spoke so well to this.
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Think of somebody in your life who is difficult for you, the ‘famous person’. Watch the way, as soon as you get near this person, you contract. You want to push them away. But that person is not the problem; your mind’s idea of that person is the problem. “Oh, this is that person who is always making snide remarks and is always bitter, is always attacking me.” Of course you want to push them away. But this person is just being how they are. Can you find the place of openness in yourself that can see that this person is as they are because of various conditions, and your reaction to this person is because of your interior conditions and it has nothing to do with them?
The next step is seeing this is not about them but about me. And for me, my reaction is my reaction. Ah, who am I that’s reacting? Can I watch my response to this famous person, or to anything — let’s say the whole Ukraine situation, or the recent school shootings. “AAAH!” Can I watch my reaction to it? It’s a strong object. I don’t want this. But as soon as there’s that contraction into the personal self, it becomes very hard to hold space around what’s happening.
We look at the famous person, whatever it may be, as a gift and say, “Thank you, teacher. What have you come to teach me?” Then we can begin to open our hearts to our own fear, our own sense of limitation, powerlessness or sadness. ~ Aaron
Of course, it’s never about the trigger. I sat on the lanai in the predawn anticipating the coming of the light and meditating on the trigger as gift or teacher. The trigger is like a divine finger pointing to the “story” outside of our awareness waiting for us to see clearly.
The sky changes were magnificent. One minute no color could be seen, the next minute the sky was alive with hues of bright pinks and reds and yellows woven together with the deep gray clouds.
Clouds make the most colorful skies….
A bit later I saw an amazing photo of a frozen-faced bison on Facebook with the following caption: Bison are the only animal that turn into a snowstorm rather than away from it because they instinctively know that walking into the storm will get them out of the weather quicker. There may be a life lesson for humans in this. It also makes for some epic pictures. ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson

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A Special Kind of Mystic
I listened to the first 20 minutes of a talk by Mosab Hassan Yousef. A dear friend (who happens to be Jewish) sent me a link to the talk on Youtube. “‘Son of Hamas’ Tackles University Antisemitism, Exposes Hamas ‘Holy War’ to Wipe Out Jews” was given at University of Michigan last week.
Opening email, I appreciated Gratefulness.org for posting this beautiful quotation from Brother David Steindl-Rast today, “The mystic is not a special human being – every human being is a special kind of mystic.”
I grabbed my journal and did a sacred drawing.

The drawing invoked this Haiku:So busy —— this mind
but space and peace await
One need only be-
Be
the change you seek
wait for nothing to come first
You already areAs I wrote today’s date on the top of the page, the breath caught in my chest: Thursday, December 7, 2023.
82 years ago today 2,403 were killed in Pearl Harbor.
We cry “Peace, peace”…. while hating our neighbor and fearing our inner demons.
We need only to lay down our swords —— “S” words —— like should and should not and somebody.
Today’s “Daily Tejaniya”:
Faith Keeps Us On the Path
When we practice meditation,
faith should increase. Only if we
have trust and confidence in some-
thing, can we actually apply ourselves
to it. We must recognize the faith we
have — however little or much. It’s
what keeps us on the path.This path is perhaps to each human being living fully as a special kind of mystic….
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Break Your Heart No Longer
Here in the US today we are celebrating Thanksgiving Day.

Last evening was a day of giving thanks in my heart as we shared time and great food with our daughter and son-in-love (Stacey and Doug), grandson and granddaughter-in-love (Brad and Christina), grandson and girl-friend-in-love (Adam and Rachael), granddaughter and great-grandson (Courtney and Jackson). Last year at this time we were navigating the shock of Jackson’s seizures and last night he was climbing up and down on the Little Tikes slide that will be a Christmas gift.
One of the women at meditation on Tuesday morning shared this beautiful quotation:
My beloved child, break your heart no longer.
Each time you judge yourself, you break your heart.
You pull away from the love that is the well-spring of your vitality.
But now the time has come, your time, to live
and to trust the goodness that you are…
~ Adapted from the teachings of Bapu-ji- as shared by kirpal venanji
This speaks deeply of a true sense of thanksgiving. Within every set of conditions resides the potential for kindness and wisdom. I may need to say something that is hard for another to hear, but that can be said with kindness. Wisdom inspires the words, the tone of voice, the expression in the eyes. Every aspect of being can flow from a genuine sense of compassion and strength from within the heart and mind.
I sent that quotation to our granddaughter a couple of days ago. She is in the planning process of making a home for Jackson as a single mom and it is scary and sad and a bit overwhelming. A lot of life is that.
But she and Jackson are well loved and as I told her last night, he will have a better opportunity to thrive wherever she thrives.
Reading from Conscious Divorce: Ending a Marriage with Integrity, by Susan Allison, “Making the decision whether or not to leave a relationship may be the most daunting part of the divorcing process; at least it is the one filled with the most anxiety. This is partly because divorce is a choice made of our own free will, and we sense the enormity of this responsibility. Also, confusion and indecision are uncomfortable for most of us. We want this initial stage to be over, so we can move on. At the same time, we realize that our choice will affect our partners, our families, and our friends; it will be a decision we must live with all our lives. We want to choose carefully.”
Thomas Moore writes in Soul Mates, “Divorce is not a failure of the parties to maintain their commitments, but rather, evidence of the tendency of fate to spin us in different directions.”
He goes on to say that the ending of a relationship can be recognized and experienced as a difficult rite of passage for the soul, and a true ending, not just a defensive withdrawal, that comes about not only through decisions but also with that spinning of fate and the turning of time.
Years ago I wrote an Ode to Letting Go:
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I will not look back at our time together and see it all as bad. I will have the courage to call it all good – our coming together and our coming apart. I will honor your memory by remembering the growth that our relationship inspired. I will not insult either of us by insisting that it could have, should have, or would have been different. It was as it was. I will use this experience to affirm the beliefs I wish to guide my life by; All things work together for good. You are free. I am free. Be with your life lightly as I am with my own. Take not from here a false belief that you or I are less than what you are: a child of the universe, whole, holy, and loveable. Be tender with yourself as you make this adjustment, just as you would be tender with a body part as it heals.
Look into the mirror often and recall the truth – I once loved you deeply. Though the feelings have waned as the moon – your worthiness (as my own) has neither diminished nor dissipated. I will always honor your memory. I will always cherish your soul. Go in peace. Live, grow, heal, and continue on your journey. For this time of our being together as husband and wife has ended but the ties that bind our hearts in love continue – even as the love at the center of all of life continues to hold us and guide us and heal us. Amen.
So much to be thankful for…. everything is worthy of our thanks giving. Today, I am giving thanks for each of you.
May each sentient being break our heart no longer.
May all beings give thanks.
May all beings know peace.







