Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: widow

  • Slow-Lee

    Sacred Stories

    She had been very recently widowed, now navigating her life without her husband of many decades. Responsibilities which had been shared by two, now sat on her shoulders, including tending to a new will.

    And now she was really feeling ALONE with all of her normal outside activities cancelled to help stop the spread of COVID-19.

    She and her good friend were both currently “safe sheltering” but would speak on the phone daily to draw support. The previous day they had each had a time of tears.

    “I had a dream last night,” she said. “Every time I used the incorrect grammar in my class saying slow where I should have used the adverb slowly, a voice would add the LY.”

    “Oh, if that were my dream,” her friend excitedly burst forth, “that would be your husband coming through letting you know you do not have to worry about doing everything perfectly. He is still helping you. You are still working as a team.”

    She said slowly, “His middle name is LEE….”

  • How the $%^#

    Sacred Stories

    It had been seven weeks since her husband’s passing.

    As she settled onto her mat to teach the yoga class she heard herself speaking truthfully about how challenging it was becoming to have people keep asking her, “How are you doing?”

    She immediately felt remorse, hoping not to seem ungrateful for the support and care. She truly valued that.

    After class she overheard one of the students mention having just watched a movie, Wild Oats, about a recent widow. Eva, played by Shirley MacLaine, had blurted out, “How the $%^# do you think I am doing, my husband just died!”

    On her way home from yoga class, she stopped to drop off tax information. The receptionist said, “So, are you tired of people asking you how you are doing?”

    That woman, too, had been a widow.

    She told her about the line in Wild Oats and they shared a good laugh.

    It feels soooooo good to be understood….