Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: well-being

  • Tapping into Gratitude

    My grandson, Brad, and his wife, Christina, spent five wonderFULL days with us on Pine Island. Brad had been working for Charter Media in Murfreesboro (Tennessee) since earning his Master’s Degree three years ago. Recently, though, he declined a large promotion with Charter that would have meant their move to North Carolina. It was not the move itself that was a deciding factor, it was the corporate lifestyle that demands you live to work rather than work to live.

    They called their visit “Retirement Training.” He decided the reason they call it retirement is that first you are tired because you are working so hard, then you are retired because you are playing so hard.

    They rode bikes, went kayaking with dolphins, watched manatee in the canal, took a pleasure boat ride to lunch at Fort Myers beach, grilled fresh shrimp, participated in music on the island, played shuffleboard, and went to dinner at early-bird schedules. In the early morning, and late in the evening, Brad would work remote as a consultant in data management. It was way beyond great.

    After they left, I participated in a World Tapping Summit talk on gratitude with Carol Look. I loved her words, “Expressing gratitude is like planting seeds; many good things will come from it.” She stressed the importance one not do it because you will get something. Do it because it feels good.

    But what about those times when it is difficult to catch a whiff of gratitude? The darkest of the dark days? Especially then, it is important to start where you are and cast a net of well-being with the WHAT IF frame: “Even though thus and so, what if there could be a solution I don’t yet know about.”

    I also appreciated learning the importance of tapping thank you to the universe or god or whomever/whatever you conceive: “Thank you for brining me a solution to thus and so.”

    Finally, Carol says you will benefit by moving through the points just expressing anything and everything you are grateful for. “Nature, family, friends, sunshine, dolphins, manatees, health, freedom, kindness, flowers, trees, birds, bicycles.”

    Today, I am tapping thank you for Brad and Christina having been able to visit, and for the wisdom they have at 27 years-old to avoid clamping on golden handcuffs.

    (If you are new to it, here is a short instructional video and introduction to EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), commonly called just “tapping” with Jessica Ortner: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAclBdj20ZU)

  • Catching Rays

    Have you ever seen any of those 3D “magic eye” images? You have to hold the image close to your nose, look through it so it is blurry, and maintain your gaze as you slowly move the image away from you. As your eyes relax, your focus changes, and you can see amazingly beautiful things. This image contains two giraffes.

    Just like those hidden images, you have undoubtedly been able to see the way an unusual event will bring something else into view. Like seeing not one, not two, but three gopher tortoises one day during a bike ride. Or catching not one, not two, but three stingrays one day fishing off the dock.

    The odd thing about catching the rays while fishing off the dock is that the people right next door who have fished from the dock for years have never ever caught one stingray here. Let alone three in one day.

    So, I looked up the symbolism of stingray.

    Stingrays represent your emotions and how you may be hiding them from others. If it’s calm, stingray suggests maneuvering a challenge in your life with ease and grace. If the ray is aggressive; it means you may be reacting to your emotions, rather than using careful deliberation in your approach, which could be costly.

    Oh, my goodness. The first and largest of the three rays fought very hard. For the longest time. Taking the line way out. Darting away from the dock. Digging down in the mud. This first and largest one was about the size of a garbage can lid. In case you are wondering, the ray was able to be safely released.

    The guy who managed to wrestle with and land that big old ray on an ultralight rod and reel currently has two younger brothers navigating cancer treatment. One of his brothers was having his right kidney removed at that time! Another of his brothers has been dealing with the side-effects of radiation and chemotherapy treatment for lung cancer. His platelet count was too low for him to receive chemo at that time! While the fisherman has been snow-birding in Florida this winter, he has begun saying he is bored with being here and thinks he might go home early.

    Stingrays may be telling you to not overreact to your emotions, to calm down and wait before reacting. Stingrays maneuver themselves quite well despite their size and shape and they tell us to also carefully maneuver the complex emotional waters of our inner world.

    This week, I am participating in the World Tapping Summit. I especially enjoyed the interview with Dr. Paul Sheele, “Feeling Abundant: Attract More Wealth and Prosperity Into Your Life!”. Sheele made the distinction between abundance and prosperity. The universe is abundant. Prosperity is the degree to which we are aware of and participating in the true state of the universe.

    I am thinking about all of this in relationship to catching the rays, and those magic eye photos. I am going to think about it this way: well-being (like abundance) is there even while going through all those challenges, hidden right there just out of view.

  • The Appearance of Things

    It has been three years since I first watched the film Cloud Atlas, yet, after watching it again this week my fingers move over the keys trying to create an outlet for my unspeakable emotions. I confess that the watching did not cause my emotions, but it has amplified feelings long buried within my psyche.

    If you, like me, need a refresher about the film, you can access that September 2013 blog post:”Answer the Call.”

    The timing of this watching (and the depth of emotions) might be amplified by current events. One friend is dancing on the edge of duress anticipating a double mastectomy on Tuesday. Another friend has just received a diagnosis of leukemia for her young son.

    A few days ago when I opened The 50 Miracle Principles of A Course in Miracles, by Kenneth Wapnick, Ph.D., I read these words: Just as the body cannot be healed because the body was never sick, the body cannot rise from the dead because the body never died.

    If you are new to the Course, it is important to understand that a core premise is that the world as we experience it is a delusion of the mind. In Indian teachings, this is called illusion, or Māyā. A simple way to think about it is to notice how a state of impermanence permeates everything in our experience. According to Wikipedia, “that which exists, but is constantly changing and thus is spiritually unreal.”

    Martin L. Rossman, M.D., addresses faith healing, placebo effects, and imagery in Healing Yourself: A Step-by-Step Program for Better Health Through Imagery. Rossman writes of meeting Edna, who had been refusing medical treatment, saying that Jesus was going to heal her. He asked her how she communicated with Jesus, and then suggested she ask Jesus to heal her in the next six weeks, agreeing to tests at that time, and to treatment, if necessary.

    Six weeks later she returned. The examination and the tests showed nothing abnormal!

    Norman Cousins healed himself by taking Vitamin C and watching Marx Brothers movies and Candid Camera shows.

    Brandon Bays healed herself of a massive tumor in six weeks, with no surgery and no drugs.

    Whatever it is that allows some people to regain health after encountering a serious diagnosis, it is undeniable: our mind, body, spirit, and emotions are interwoven.

    I sent my friend this dentist skit where Tim Conway is the would-be dentist and Harvey Korman is the patient. Every time I watch it, I laugh so hard my stomach aches.



    I also sent Red Skelton and Carol Burnett, and suggested she search for “Babies laughing at dogs.” I told her to watch and laugh for half an hour, then go to bed with her sweet puppy dog. It feels wonderful to laugh. We probably all need to laugh more. And pets are sooooo healing! These are important things to remember.

    And it is vitally important to know we have help. My friend/colleague Dr. Douglas Busby just released his new book Spiritual Healing: Help from the Spirit World. Doug will be signing books at a talk on Sunday, November 13, 2016, at 3:30 pm, here in St. Joseph. Let me know if you are interested in attending.

    For sure, it helps to remember nothing lasts forever, and what’s more, everything is nothing, including you and me.

    We live in an illusion and the appearance of things.
    There is a reality. You are that reality.
    When you understand this, you see that you are nothing,
    and being nothing, you are everything. That is all.
    ~ Kalu Rinpoche

  • Know Your DNA?

    It is Labor Day Weekend. For everyone here in Michigan, public schools are starting next week. The weather has taken a turn toward the cool, and the prairies are looking quite like autumn. Change is palpable….

    As I sit at my desk, looking out over the back yard, working at the keyboard, Hummingbirds are chasing one another away from the feeder. Even a bee is joining in with this game, each claiming territory and working hard to maintain it.

    I just watched a very interesting 5 minute video. A roomful of people were discussing how each felt some bias against other nationalities. These individuals were then each asked to undergo a DNA test. The results were quite shocking and rather life-changing…

    That we belong to one another is not a surprise to those with a spiritual leaning. That is why my email signature line is a quotation by Mother Teresa: “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” Our connection comes as no surprise to scientists either. The evidence has proven we actually all have more in common than we ever imagined.

    Although scientists have long recognised that, despite physical differences, all human populations are genetically similar, the new work concludes that populations from different parts of the world share even more genetic similarities than previously assumed.

    All humans are 99.9 per cent identical and, of that tiny 0.1 per cent difference, 94 per cent of the variation is among individuals from the same populations and only six per cent between individuals from different populations.

    (See 0.1 per cent difference.)

    Bertrand Russell says, “There is no reason to suppose that the world had a beginning at all. The idea that things must have a beginning is really due to the poverty of our thoughts.” Possibly, it is this same poverty of our thoughts that had allowed people to think any group was superior and/or any other group was inferior. Perhaps as science and spirituality shine new perspectives on the same truth, humans may find it is easy now to feel our connections to one another and to all sentient beings.

    We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.

    Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

    Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.

    Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

    Yes, if everyone just had that DNA test done, you would have proof of the truth. School is starting. The season is changing. This is the time to embrace who we really are…

  • The Gift of Distance


    I will love the light for it shows me the way,
    yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.
    ~ Og Mandino
     

     

    George loved doing woodworking in his shop. He had been in an assisted living facility for the past couple of years. Tuesday, when I attended his funeral, George’s sister, Betty, had brought some of the last items from his shop. She was offering friends to take something as a loving remembrance. I was delighted to select the last of his simple plaques, crafted brilliantly using the contrast of light and dark to create a very significant an optical illusion.

    snip-Jesus-close

    I had one of these years ago, but when someone in a challenging time of life greatly admired it, I gifted that person the plaque. Now that George is in spirit, having this one has even more significance in my heart.

    When you get some distance from the plaque, and you let your eyes relax, by paying attention to the light rather than looking at the dark, you can see the deeper message George created by gluing simple light wood strips on the dark wood background:

    Jesus-far

    What a powerful metaphor for all of life. We can get so tied up in our problems, we can miss the gifts hidden in plain view. A little distance, relaxation, and focus on the light brings resurrection!

     

  • Easy Street

    Sacred Stories

    She was still recovering from the loss of her husband ten years prior, brought to a renewal of the sharp pain of grief as she anticipated their son’s up-coming wedding: feeling the loss, dreading the day, thinking herself helpless to feel joy in the event, she set about shopping online for silver shoes to go with the dress she had no heart to buy.

    When the shoes arrived, she knew her husband was bringing her a message!

    Easy Street - sacred stories

    She says, “I have never seen a shoe box with words! ‘Celebrate! Grace! Enjoy! Play!’ I know this is what my husband is saying we will do at our son’s wedding. And the shoes were on sale!”