Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: Vince Gill

  • The Whole World Matters in the End

    Grateful John and I had an uneventful trip North. We sauntered along Georgia’s secondary roads to avoid Atlanta and stayed the night in Alabama before arriving in Smyrna on Thursday, March 26. We had a busy week of fun family time and an easy drive to Michigan on Monday, April 6. No one feels sorry for snowbirds who speak of the work of moving twice per year, and we get that, but it does take more energy every year.

    We loved our time on Lazy Lane and the fragrance of friendships forged still linger in our hearts. It is interesting to feel at home in so many places.

    There certainly are changes here. The neighbor whose porch light is left on. That person, and others, now “gone.” Another neighbor is now in assisted living. The evidence of impermanence is everywhere.

    Everything is presenting as precious and passing….

    A couple days ago the Daily Reflection Quote from Deep Spring seemed to have said it all: There are two ways in which one may experience God, the God without and that within. To experience the God without is to experience an expression of God. To experience the God within is to experience God directly. There is nothing in the drop of water that is not of the essence of the sea. There is nothing lacking for it to know the whole essence of the sea. When we enter into that divine-most essence of our being, it is a direct experience of God.

    I have stripped the bed and linens are in the dryer. My niece, Jen Marie, is bringing her mom’s cremains today and we will be meeting at the cemetery to determine if that will be their “final resting place.” Of course, we are not our cremains and the neighbors passed are still present in our hearts. What lasts? A very common question with not-so-common realizations.

    We are finally caught up with The Voice and as John and I were watching the final nine episode last night many times I had a catch in my throat. I love seeing those with so much passion receive recognition for what they do. And although the judges are competing against other judges and the contestants are competing against other contestants, genuine appreciation, admiration, and awe for all is palpable. That touches my heart.

    Last year when we came home from Florida, the haunting song I had heard at jams was “The Whole World” by Vince Gill.

    This year I come home with Dale Ann Bradley’s “In the End” resonating. This song was brought to us by our dear music friend, Kevin Mabry, and I previously posted those lyrics here on the Yellow Brick Road.

    What matters in the end? The whole world. There is nothing in the drop of water that is not of the essence of the sea.

  • Look at Us

    Last night at the North Ft. Myers Bluegrass Jam John dedicated Vince Gill’s song “Look at Us” to our new friends Steve and Brenda Finley and John and me. We both celebrate wedding anniversaries of over 50 years this week. Our 59th is today. March 19 is also the wedding anniversary of other music friends, Alan and Cindy Bickford, from Pine Island. Wishing them a happy anniversary as well.

      Look at us lyrics:

      Look at us
      After all these years together
      Look at us
      After all that we’ve been through
      Look at us
      Still leaning on each other
      If you wanna see how true love should be
      Then just look at us

      Look at you
      Still pretty as a picture
      Look at me
      Still crazy over you
      Look at us
      Still believing in forever
      If you wanna see how true love should be
      Then just look at us

      In a hundred years from now
      I know without a doubt
      They’ll all look back and wonder how
      We made it all work out
      Chances are we’ll go down in history
      When they wanna see
      How true love should be
      They’ll just look at us

      Chances are we’ll go down in history
      When they wanna see
      How true love should be
      They’ll just look at us
      When they wanna see
      How true love should be
      They’ll just look at us

      Songwriters: Max Duane Barnes / Vince Gill
      Look at Us lyrics © Reservoir 416, Diamond Cholla Music, Benefit Music, Irving Music Inc.

    From a Buddhist perspective, a wedding anniversary is a time to reflect on the journey of a relationship, reaffirming vows of love, compassion, and mutual respect, and practicing mindfulness in the face of impermanence.

    I have often found myself saying over the years that we have not actually been married to the same person for all of these years, and John is famous for adding, “And I am not just talking about hair color….”


    I chose this photo for today’s post because Stacey was there with us on our wedding day and every anniversary since! We have all changed so much.

    I have officiated at MANY weddings over the years. I have had the honor of officiating at only one uncoupling ceremony. I think the Buddhist teachings about impermanence are significant related to both. I found the following AI generated paragraph that speaks to the letting go of what was with love and respect.

    “When it comes time to part, be it through death or another fluctuation of cyclic existence, we aspire to look back at our time together with joy — joy that we met and shared what we did — and acceptance that we cannot hold on to each other forever. We will wish each other well from the depths of our hearts and help each other as we both go on to new lives.”

    I could not read those words without feeling the adjustment John and I are going through with Linda and Larry as we are both securing new seasonal rentals because we cannot return to the beloved Blue House we have shared in Punta Gorda for the past two winters. We have all loved this house. I have loved witnessing dawn from our east-facing lanai and biking the neighborhoods. We have shared many meals made in the roomy kitchen with friends and family. This is the nicest house John and I have ever lived in. Our homeowners have determined maintaining two properties is not sustainable for them. They are very sad to not have us as guests, but it is undeniably what needs to happen.

    Those words from the Buddhist perspective about when it comes to part seem so fitting: we cannot hold on to each other forever. Not a house, not a spouse. So, for this moment, we treasure what is present.

    Linda and her late husband had four children under the age of five when they got married. (March 19 is also their daughter Chris’s birthday.) Linda has shared that when life would get really chaotic they would say to one another, “I would still say I do.”

    John Basham, that is what I say to you, Look at us. I would still say I do. I love you more with each passing decade. Happy 59th anniversary❤️

  • The Whole World

    Last week we heard a Vince Gill song that haunts me. The title is The Whole World.

    I finally found the lyrics online this morning after a very busy bike ride with a soulful download of information and insight I might call A House Divided. I wish I had stopped to grab my phone so I could record the whole thing. I never capture it quite as it came through, but it began with something like this:

    For the past few years we have literally lived in a house divided for one-third of our lives. The floor plan is sometimes called “zoned” with the primary suite on one side and the guest suite on the opposite. In the middle is the living/cooking/dining space. In our case, John and I have the guest suite, which works wonderfully because other than when we have guests we have a room for my meditation and John’s music.  Speaking of music…. Vince Gill’s mournful voice singing The Whole World resonates profoundly. Here are a part of one verse and the chorus:

    I’ll never hate you

    If we disagree

    Well brother you’re breathing

    The same air as me

    Feels like the whole world’s

    Got a broken heart

    We sure could use

    A brand new start

    How the hell did we wind up

    So far apart

    Seems like the whole world’s got a broken heart

    Before my ride his morning I had also seen a message about “Four resistance actions (one was yesterday) that are being planned across the US.” That message, too, set my heart on a path of singing the chorus of The Whole World.

    Just the simple asking John about what we could do for dinner today got twisted up. What he thought I was saying was not what I was saying at all and it was a major undertaking for us to get clarity!

    In NLP we learned to notice language and the impact of it on the real people engaged in it. It was understood when John says, “Coke tastes better than Pepsi” he is not saying anything about Coke or Pepsi. He is telling us something about John. A simple change in language can help tremendously, “I prefer the taste of Coke over the taste of Pepsi.” Few people speak and listen with this level of consciousness.

    If I wonder why this is such a challenging concept related to something as simple as what to have for dinner or a preferred brand of carbonated beverage no wonder the complexities in our world end up as issues being viewed across a great divide….