“Addiction, it has been said, starts in pain and ends in pain.” This is the opening line in the Editor’s Note in the January, 2018, edition of GUIDEPOSTS. The title is ‘Overcoming Addiction.” The entire edition is dedicated to the hope of recovery that calls to every addict and the people who love them.
Last evening we were with some friends. This past week has been about her facing her son’s alcoholism. Several times during the evening I would be aware of the smell of alcohol. No one else could smell it, but it was obvious to me. Eventually I said, “It must be my dad.”
Richard Rohr, an American Franciscan Friar ordained to the priesthood in the Roman Catholic Church, published a podcast titled “Contemplation and Action on the Road of Recovery.” Rohr’s message begins with the radical truth that we are all addicted. He says the universal addiction we share is our addiction to our way of thinking. He says, “Literal-ism is the lowest level of meaning, the least level of meaning. Literal-ism gets you nowhere.”
Whether taking something personally, literally, or insisting our way is the “right” way, addiction to our way of thinking is one of the most important things we can choose to give up. What would that be like? Recovery.
Recovery is simply this: union with reality.
Overcoming addictions is simply this: union with reality.
Addiction is anything we know is not good for us but we do it anyway. So how do we change this?
Here is a poem I wrote on September 25, 2017. It is titled ‘Addiction’s Daughter.’
His blood shot eyes told the story
Her words a sloppy slur
The arguments, lies, disappointed children staring
wistfully out into space
Alcohol’s real name is Satan
Fermented devil Scotch
And pray tell how one can in his right mind call it smooth
a true velvety swindler
Our broken dreams lie there shattered
Memories all scattered
Perfection in work and play disguising inward scars
all weeping done in silence
All weeping is done in silence in addiction. It is important we speak honestly. It is important we choose wholesome actions that invite recovery. It is important our awakened heart is capable of being present for our own suffering and the suffering of others.
I have found the practice of Tonglen helps to awaken the heart.
A Variation on Tonglen (receiving/giving) Meditation
(Instructions in parentheses are a variation for Christians.)
- Sitting erect, note the breath moving in and out. Feel yourself in a circle of light (of God’s or Jesus’ presence, His Heart to your heart).
- Breath in, feeling that Light and infinite love move into you.
- Breath out. Let it fill your heart.
- Breath in, note the immense suffering of the world, then direct focus to one place/person.
- Breath out, sending that Love with the exhaled breath, to this suffering being. Here we are allowing ourselves to give freely, not to hold that Light which is so precious for ourselves but offering it freely in service to others.
- Inhale. See the suffering as a black, thick, tarry mass. Allow yourself to draw it into your heart. Note any resistance, any fear of allowing in that suffering, any desire to stay separate; soften around it. This is not a matter of forcing oneself, but gently opening one’s heart to fear, to the fear that creates illusion of our separation from the suffering of the world. We MUST do it gently. If there is resistance, allow in as much as you can. No ‘shoulds,’ no judgment, just the heart that gently opens when its fear is met with mercy.
- Exhale, allowing yourself to feel the heaviness of the suffering.
- Inhale, (remembering God); we as human need not hold the suffering and bear it ourselves.
- Exhale, release it out to whatever accepts it (to God or to Jesus).
Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu is a Sanskrit mantra which means:
“May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.”
By chanting this mantra, we move from our personal self and radiate a prayer of love for the world around us. It takes us from the egoic, little self, and its limited world view, and radiates from us global wellbeing. It is a reminder we are a part of the universe and can positively impact all of creation.
May all beings everywhere overcome addictions….
Dealing with Devastation
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Please be extra gentle with yourself during these highly charged, transformative times. We are all so beautifully sensitive to the collective experience – and especially right now.
We are sending our blessings to those in the many places where there are wildfires, floods, and approaching hurricanes. Peace, love, and blessings to all people, all creatures, and all lands everywhere. So many new beginnings are underway. ~ Matt Kahn
This photo was posted on Facebook by my son-in-law, Doug Dodge, along with his comments about yesterday’s hurricane damage: One of my favorite places in the BVI’s (British Virgin Islands). This is a picture of one of the rental fleets. They have total devastation and nothing left. We have met some great people over the years that live there and our hearts go out to them. Their only income is tourism and they have nothing to offer now. Please keep them in your prayers.
At the time of this blog’s writing many friends and family and people we may never know across the state of Florida and other parts of the southeastern US are dealing with the anticipated devastation related to hurricane Irma after seeing what she has already done. This all makes me aware about the need to plan for dealing with devastation.
Some will blame God, others will blame humans for accelerated global warming. Many will be second-guessing choices they have made to build, live, visit, stay or go. It is natural to be awash with emotions as we anticipate and/or witness devastation, but blame and remorse are not helpful.
Perhaps Ira Byock’s book, The Four Things That Matter Most, now updated for its tenth anniversary, can offer us some advise. Byock says four simple phrases “stating the obvious” allow us to experience the benefits of letting old grudges and toxic emotions:
“Please forgive me.”
“I forgive you.”
“Thank you.”
“I love you.”
And there are things we can do. We can give money to organizations we know are responsible with their dollars and have good sense about what is helpful at what time. We can pray. We can also do Tonglen to assist in the processing of all of this collective emotion. If you are new to the practice of Tonglen or you will benefit from a refresher, please read “Terrorist Attacks and Tonglen.”