Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: Terry Tempest Williams

  • In-tension or Intention

    As you speak, so you see
    As you see, so you share
    As you share, so you become

    I am on retreat, and am living the spirit of the law (rather than the letter of the law) by writing a blog post. This intensive / retreat is the culmination of a two-year “Path of Clear Light” study with Barbara Brodsky and Aaron (and a cast of other enlightened teachers). The past semester has been working with sacred darkness. Groundwork is now being laid for a third year: Co-creating with Spirit. This focus is how we move from being in tension to the intention to invite and allow support. Namely this: How do we INVITE the world as we want it to be? How do we INVITE the expression of the self as we wish it to be?

    We were led on a guided meditation and then instructed to take paper and crayons or markers or colored pencils and draw this sacred wish for our being in the world. Most of us in my small group commented on our unskilled artistic abilities. There was no lack of skill in the articulation of our sacred wishes….

    I did a doodle process where you place a writing instrument on the page, close your eyes and move it around until guided to stop. Open your eyes and turn the page different directions until you see something come into view. The rules are you can embellish or not, add or not, highlight or not. I like those rules.


    After I had completed my drawing, I wrote these notes in my journal: I know I take human form in the world as it is. The big shift is instant manifestation. I see people able to transport via thought, create via thought, destroy via thought. Suddenly, I get a jolt of fear — not trusting human ability to manifest from love and wisdom. I choose the intention to invite and allow release of this fear and I hear, “This is the way.”

    The words on my drawing that are featured in the top center of this post were written with my nondominant hand. The words on the right side of the drawing were not.

    I am the world around me.

    What you give birth to has it’s own independence and free will.     (Aaron had said this, but including this one might be influenced by learning that I am going to be a great-grandma.)

    Everyone has a double and a mirror opposite. Find yourself.

    Life expression is joyous.

    In my doodle, I included a small section of a process called Zentangle which I learned from Carol Myers. Those words are: I AM LOVE.

    Yesterday and today I have thought of the title of the book “When Women Were Birds: Fifty-Four Variations of Voice” by Terry Tempest Williams. Her mother bequeathed Terry all of her journals, with the promise not to open them until after she had passed. Three shelves of journals were blank….

    I opened email this morning to the BK Thought for Today:

    No Complaining Zone

    If you approach life complaining about what’s missing then you’ll be dissatisfied. Satisfaction comes from knowing things can always be improved but at the same time appreciating what is right in your life right now.

    And Aaron’s Daily Quote:

    When you say, ‘Thy will be done,’ you’re not saying, ‘I’ll do whatever you want,’ you’re saying, ‘I obey this sacred sound within me, this sacred wisdom and clarity and love. I will listen for that and no matter how quiet it is and no matter how loud ego’s voice is, I will keep coming back to that sacred vibration within the heart. That is the will I will follow and not the voice of the ego.’

    Perhaps this new world is simply the sacred vibration of love and clarity in a no complaining zone….

  • Emerald Isle Musings

    WORD FOR THE DAY

    We did not ask for this room or this music;
    we were invited in.

    Therefore, because the dark surrounds us,
    let us turn our faces toward the light.

    Let us endure hardship
    to be grateful for plenty…

    We did not ask for this room or this music.

    But because we are here,
    let us dance.

    ~ Stephen King
    (visit GRATEFULNESS.ORG)

    The closing “circle” for the 2020 Emerald Isle meditation retreat was—like the entire week—happening on ZOOM.

    The title of the retreat was “Deepening Practice in Challenging Times.”

    While I had planned to use the week letting go of the stress of the past month of Pandemic and Post-Mold-Remediation experience (see my previous posts), at the last minute, I became Debra the Deva-in-Demand, functioning as the ZOOM co-host/moderator for the week.

    Note* I have no previous experience hosting a group on ZOOM.

    A difficulty with the platform is how to effectively experience group chanting. We are still working on that….

    Although I did not ask for this room, or this music, I was there, so I danced. The ZOOM room was welcoming, the messy music was magical, and I was so blessed to serve.

    Adding an intricate layer of dance moves to our virtual/residential retreat is the fact that our beloved teacher, Barbara Brodsky, is deaf. Our beloved co-teacher, John Orr, did a lot of simultaneous speaking while finger-signing for Barbara, including an entire dharma talk! Volunteers did much typing into the chat box, and I was often directing Barbara via closed-caption. A retreat moto might have been, “Slow down, slow down… a little bit slower, please.”

    The Pali term, Katavedi, is related to gratefully giving as a result of having fully received.

    The one who is grateful (kataññu) helps in return (katavedi).

    For the closing circle, we gathered at the appointed time, and one-by-one people let me know when ready to share. That person’s face would be spotlighted, their words (which had been emailed to me) would be shared on the screen. Each person (sometimes tearfully) would read. Here are my closing words:

    There were some rough spots with the technology of this retreat. Contraction, grasping, wanting to help. I am totally new to hosting ZOOM. Patty and Tana and I had a crash course last week. Tana received more than a few SOS messages. WE did the best we could. Not at all easy, but so much learning! We will do better next time.

    Additionally, two friends are in ICU on ventilators with COVID-19. I have had my phone and email active this week to host ZOOM. I am grateful to have been available to both of these families. Ordinarily, my phone and email would not have been checked at all during the week of retreat.

    My husband, John, had sciatica so severely at the start of the week he could barely walk from the bed to the bathroom. At the end of each night, I would do reflexology for him.

    John Orr spoke of katavedi, which is giving back from that place of appreciation and gratitude.

    This week I have been giving back. We could never ask for better teachers.

    I have infinite love and gratitude for Barbara, and John, Aaron, The Mother, Jeshua, Father John… LOVE, and for each of you, my brothers and sisters of light.

    I could write a book titled “SNAFU” related to the ambitious decision to offer a week-long, silent, residential retreat with people safe-sheltering at home, but the difficulties did not diminish the benefits.

    Most participants were surprised, pleased, and affected by their first residential retreat at home.

    Writing this, my heart sank as I realized Rita asked me to share for her, and I forgot to do that. Here are her loving words of gratitude: It was an honor to participate in the retreat with each and every one of you. The strong feeling of connection with so many, most of whom I had never “met” before, was so warming and affirming. I want to thank Aaron, Barbara and John for sharing their wisdom, personal stories, encouragement and Love. I truly feel blessed to have had the opportunity to be in the presence of such skillful loving teachers. Namaste’

    We practice where we are. Where we are is in social-isolation. This bird on the shrub is outside my virtual “meditation hall” window:

    Iris shared a Terry Tempest Williams poem (also one of my favorites): “Once upon a time, when women were birds, there was the simple understanding that to sing at dawn and to sing at dusk was to heal the world through joy. The birds still remember what we have forgotten, that the world is meant to be celebrated.”

    The world—even the current pandemic world—is meant to be celebrated. Even in social isolation, we are never alone. LOVE is always with us.

    And so LOVE must have the final “going home” instructions:

    YOU are LOVE. That essence of you can never be destroyed.

    It can be hidden.
    Let it out!

    It can be forgotten.
    Reawaken it!

    I want friends to dance with me in the garden of LOVE.

    You are so special and beautiful—each of you. The millions of beings on this earth who had the courage to incarnate, to move past old, limiting habit patterns of fear, and remember the essence of LOVE. This is what your practice is for.

    I want to thank you for giving this week of your time to this practice.

    Giving and receiving…. giving and receiving…. giving and receiving.

    My heart to your heart.

    I love you.

  • Simple Understanding

      Once upon a time…
      there was the simple understanding
      that to sing at dawn and
      to sing at dusk was
      to heal the world through joy.
      The birds still remember
      what we have forgotten,
      that the world is meant to be celebrated.
      ~Terry Tempest Williams

    June has been a very full month…. On June 22, I enjoyed a Day of Silence with St. Joseph Sangha and Empty Circle Zen. On June 29, I enjoyed a Yoga Retreat with Kathy Zerler. We did Hatha Yoga, then we each selected a rock created just for us for our retreat by friends Bobbie Roloff and Debbie Charleston. We thoroughly enjoyed Amy’s reading Everybody Needs A Rock by Byrd Baylor with pictures by Peter Parnall. In silence and gratitude we feasted on an amazing lunch before doing a Yoga Nidra exercise and having our closing circle. Om….

    All of this was timed perfectly in my life as the office suites were being remediated and my husband was undergoing medical tests following some ongoing symptoms and a mini-episode. This same week, his cousin’s son (at the tender age of 34) was receiving an LVAD. LVAD or left ventricular assist device, is a pump used for patients who have reached end-stage heart failure.

    I don’t know when I first heard the Birthday Dirge, but the opening lines are Death and gloom and black despair, People dying everywhere, but one does not have to sing a dirge to know that the conditions of human life can be challenging. What is the most beautiful truth about life, though, is how even difficulties and obstacles produce strength and compassion.

    We went with several friends to see the film Rocketman. Rocketman is a 2019 biographical musical based on the life of musician Elton John. At one point, as his mother was speaking so unskillfully, I whispered, “I hope someone in our row is breathing.” It is not an easy film to watch. His life was littered with such painful experiences. However, HE rose up out of the ashes and that is what really matters.

    The first day of July is my brother-in-law’s birthday. He passed two years ago. His life, too, had been littered with pain, and he too rose up out of the ashes of cancer to overcome addiction and soften into his authentic being.

    While it is true we are not all musical prodigy, this week—every day of every week—we all have the stuff that helps us grow. And the simple understanding as Terry Tempest Williams and the birds remember is that the world is meant to be celebrated.

    Here is the rock that selected me at the yoga retreat: