Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: synchronicity

  • The Bud’s Undoing

    “I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.

    “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

    ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

    The rhythm of this social-isolation is having it’s way with me. Today is Friday. Meditation with a handful of others via ZOOM, at 6:30 am, then ZOOM yoga with Kathy at 7:45. My fingers on the keyboard now, writing with the Southern Circle of Poets, who will meet at 11:15 to share—also on ZOOM!

    I find myself wondering what the metaphor of a platform called ZOOM has to say about this time of virtual living when I feel like both Frodo and Gandalf….

    This is the current view out my front window.

    This morning’s musing:

    Life is moving from the inside out
    Paying attention to an inner sense
    Dancing to music unheard that blows through the breeze and falls on some deaf ears
    Birds fly overhead, beads adorn our bodies, beach glass lands at our feet

    I dreamed of breathing under water
    Gold chains; rubies, emeralds, sapphire
    Adorned with abundance and beauty
    Moments rise up and move out into the world

    Each day Anne Frank’s spirit reminds me she
    Endured safe-sheltering for over 700 days
    Khanti—one of the paramitas—the mixture of endurance and perseverance
    To keep going (out of love) even though things are uncomfortable or difficult

    “The flower is always the bud’s undoing”
    Each new day evidence that the previous is no more
    No more do we cling, it is futile to hold onto the illusion
    It is now our true nature to surrender

    Surrender to the way things are without abandoning the dreams planted in the heart

    Holding him in my arms for the very first time, whispering a made-up name
    “I am your Gammie”

    I went kicking and screaming into grandparenthood
    At 39, too young to be a grandmother
    Too busy to take on another
    Role

    But the role fell away as I held you
    Watching your beautiful face
    Feeling your breath
    Smelling you

    30 years
    Now watching you from a distance
    Recalling your breath
    Imagining the fragrance of your being

    I am your Gammie; a role I find much peace in

    The bud is being undone yet again all of our roles dissipate like dew in the morning sun

    The Bud’s Undoing Debra Basham 05-15-2020 (WC 260)

  • Hot Tub Visit

    Sacred Stories

    She was alone in the hot tub praying and having awareness time.

    She was thinking of him.

    Today was his 53rd birthday.

    Twenty five years ago, her husband had been 28-years-old when he passed.

    All of a sudden, the hot tub jets turned on!

    Just like someone had pushed the button….

  • Satellites!

    Sacred Stories

    He is not very religious. He grew up Roman Catholic, and even went to Catholic School, but by college he says he was done with the Vatican.

    Every evening he goes out to look for satellites and when he sees one, he prays gratitude to God who gave us the intelligence to put huge pieces of junk in orbit.

    She always thought this was crazy.

    Since they had moved from Southwest Michigan to Detroit, he had not seen a satellite, although he would watch every night.

    She passed away….

    She was Seventh Day Adventist. She was taught to believe once you die you go to sleep until the second coming of Christ. If you lived a good life, you wake up with Him. If not, then you would stay asleep.

    Three weeks after she passed, he went out looked up into the sky. He prayed and asked her that if her “dirt nap” theory was wrong, and that she was actually looking down on him from heaven, to please allow him to see a satellite.

    At that moment, he saw one… then two, three, four, five….

    He saw a total of 17 satellites in consecutive order, spaced about 4-6 inches apart to the naked eye. It took all of about five minutes.

    It was so incredible! He called one of her best friends and he called her brother, telling them what he was witnessing.

    He says, “Just way too cool!!! She knew that would be what I was looking for.”

    She made sure he had no choice not to know!

  • Creative Mending

    I had some text exchange with my firstborn grandchild, Brad, sharing emotional reactions and perceptions of the current conditions. Some we love dearly entertain the notion that COVID-19 is a conspiracy. I shared with him a recent writing:

    Daily Doula Duty

    My book, I Learned Everything I Needed to Know About Life Working as a Doula, is not yet written, but the awareness is etched into my days nonetheless. The last trimester of pregnancy is no picnic. Sleep is illusive as pressure on the bladder likely means many trips to the bathroom. The rapidly growing fetus works hard to finds comfortable place to stretch out in the tight quarters—often right on the mom’s sciatic nerve. Back pain, leg cramps…. Perhaps all of this is preparation.

    Most women go into labor exhausted, and after that there will be long days and short nights of having an infant to care for.

    The job of the doula is to coach the woman into conserving what precious little energy she has. She is going to need it.

    No matter how long or how difficult the labor, the hardest work comes after the cervix is dilated¬—in the second stage of labor.

    The second stage of labor is when the woman really needs stamina. And stamina takes energy.

    One of my clients had to be put on oxygen to be able to push. Not only was she exhausted, she also had bronchitis.

    My sister delivered her youngest just as intestinal flu was ramping through her family of five, the normal work of laboring was clearly distorted by the accompanying vomiting and diarrhea.

    The human mind is very prone to vomiting and diarrhea….

    When all is said and done, we may be among the fortunate ones to have survived the pandemic of 2020. Suffice it to say, humanity as a whole is likely going into the second stage of labor exhausted.

    High-powered executives confessed to hoping for a scheduled cesarean delivery….

    It is important to conserve our energy. We don’t know what more is going to be demanded of us.

    Bonnie’s daughter is celebrating Mother’s Day this year having just lost her mom to COVID-19. There was no access to the hospital. No visitation or funeral. She writes: “I am going to go pack up some of her things on Sunday. I have some other ideas to share some special moments with her, too. I feel her a lot. It almost feels like she’s not gone because she is around so much. Meaning I don’t miss her physical presence (as much) because her spirit is so strong.”

    The second stage of labor can last a few moments or a few hours.

    Take heart: the second stage of labor means the cervix has already dilated.

    Your body, your mind, and your spirit can do what is being asked of it.

    Key awareness at this point: Don’t be a prisoner to what you cannot change.
    • Remember this is not your birth
    • Remember to rest when you can
    • Remember to breathe through contractions
    • Remember you are not the first or the only to go through this
    • Remember everything you have done to be ready
    • Remember getting through this is the most important thing
    • Remember you will forget the pain
    Debra Basham 05-08-2020 (WC 500)

    Brad responded, “Is this some ninja level NLPing?”

    Zan Lombardo, my friend and artist extraordinaire, was doing some creative mending during our Southern Circle Poets virtual gathering. On the shirt in the photo below, what seems to be a pendant, is actually where a moth hole was. The turquoise is a random doodled line that Zan stitched.

    Transrational Pyramid from Healing with Language (Bowman and Basham p.187):

    The observer’s perspective is both caring and disinterested, free of attachment, neither fearing nor desiring a specific outcome, but wanting only what is usually called the Highest Good for all. That doesn’t mean they have given up playing an active role in causes and activities they think are beneficial. It just means that they do so from a more peaceful and less judgmental perspective.

    Now, that is some creative mending….

  • It Hurts


    Old doors close
    so new ones can open.
    Don’t get stuck on what
    fell apart just because it hurts.
    Transformation requires
    growth and letting go.

    ~Brahma Kumaris Thought for Today

    My friend, Kathy, lost her husband on January 18, 2020. She had been his care-giver. Their home was visited almost daily by friends and a devoted team of home-care and hospice-care helpers. For weeks now, she and their dog and cat are there. The pandemic means EVERYTHING social is lost. It hurts.

    Yesterday was to have been the college graduation ceremony of our only granddaughter, Courtney Nicole Ross. All face-to-face classes at UTC went online Monday, March 23, and for the remainder of the spring 2020 semester. Courtney is the first female college graduate in my line. With all A’s and B’s, she has graduated, but the ceremony and our family gathering together to celebrate as we watched her walk in her cap and gown did not happen. It hurts.

    My client/friend/colleague, Bonnie, passed away from COVID-19 in a hospital—a hospital her family was not allowed to enter. I had to decline an invitation to come offer a brief ceremony at the funeral home or cemetery, saying, “Let’s wait and honor her Celebration of Life when we can be together.” It hurts.

    In May of 2003, my mom was nearing the completion of her transition. I was finally alone with her for a few moments. I began to spontaneously sing (badly) a made-up song, “Momma’s gonna get a brand new pair of wings, fly, Momma, fly….”

    A social worker walked in and, embarrassed, I stopped singing.

    The social worker softly whispered, “Please, go on….”

    I continued to sing until I felt my mom’s center of gravity shift from her material body to her energy body. My mom’s face softened into a beautiful shade of pink as she relaxed into her wings.

    Moments later my sister and her son and daughter-in-law and their young son returned from having gone to get something to eat. I knew it was OK for me to leave. It hurts.

    Soon after, my sister was alone with our mom. My sister said, “Mom, I would really like to be with you as you cross. If you want me to be with you, it is time, because I am very tired and I need to go home soon.”

    Three minutes later, our mom was soaring with her brand new pair of wings.

    Old doors do close so new ones can open. We don’t have to get stuck on what fell apart just because it hurts. The transformation of humanity and our soaring with new wings requires growth and letting go.

    I found myself singing another ditty about flying with new wings while I was out riding my bike wearing my mask.

    I sent the voice memo titled “My Bonnie” to Bonnie’s daughter, Melody.

    It makes me laugh because my Bonnie had a semi-professional singing voice!

  • Make May Day a Mask Day

    Today is May Day.
    It is a day to hang flowers
    on the door of someone you love.

    In 1886, more than 300,000 workers walked off their jobs demanding 13,000 businesses honor an 8-hour work day on May Day.

    We know the value of doing something that benefits another. And we value doing what benefits us. Making May Day 2020 a Mask Day is a way of doing both.

    The Task of the Mask

    Beneath the mask, beyond the persona,
    beside your humanity is your true divine nature
    My friend died last week
    she went into the hospital with acute pancreatitis
    Her final ride home was on the coronavirus

    People keep asking
    if the masks are necessary
    They think they
    or the ones they love to touch
    Are surely free from COVID-19

    Another friend wore her mask
    while the plumber came to plumb
    But she did not ask him to
    protect her from his exposure
    I once hit a dog, driving home in the dark

    Would that plumber sadly feel
    remorse—a lifetime of guilt
    Were he without malice aforethought
    to have left the grim reaper running amok?
    He thought he came to help

    One simple “No,” fueled by true compassion
    is an act of wisdom and kindness for all
    I said “No,” when asked if I would consider
    coming to the cemetery or funeral home
    Doing a short ceremony for my beloved friend

    “Let’s wait and do a memorial together,
    really honoring her”

    Let’s wait
    Let’s not waste a moment
    Each time you act from wisdom
    and compassion
    You are revealing your divinity

    Debra Basham May 1, 2020 (WC 190)

    We may not be able to hang flowers in person on the door of every person we love today, but we can make this May Day a Make-a-Mask day.

    Making a no-sew sock mask is easy!


    Let me know if you would like to see the little video instructions.

    Is the task of the mask necessary? You can bet your sweet life on it….

  • Directions in Antwerp

    Sacred Stories

    She had recently moved to Antwerp, Belgium, to begin her student teaching in the American School.

    Antwerp is the capital of Antwerp province in the Flemish Region. As in all Flemish provinces, the official and standard language of the Antwerp province is Dutch. Common with Flemish Brabant, North Brabant and Brussels, the local dialect is a Brabantian variety.

    She had gone out, gotten lost, and could not find her way back home. She was surrounded by people who were all speaking different languages—mostly Flemmish or French.

    A woman appeared, and told her how to find her way back home.

    She had not seen the woman approach, and she did not see where the woman went.

    She knew she had encountered an “angel” just at the moment she needed the help.

    The universe is filled with angels….

  • Closed Captioning

    Sacred Stories

    The heart has its reasons
    which reason knows nothing of…
    We know the truth
    not only by the reason,
    but by the heart.
    ~ Blaise Pascal

    The student was on a sailboat in a very remote location on the coast of the Baja Peninsula in Mexico.

    The teacher—who is deaf—was in Michigan.

    A typist was keying in the student’s comments to the teacher, using ZOOM, when a weak internet connection resulted in dropped audio and a frozen image, rendering the communication impossible.

    The typist unmuted her mic and said to the student, “Stop. You need to go back. I did not catch any of that.”

    Meanwhile, the ZOOM host had her fingers on the keyboard. Complete sentences were appearing in the closed captioning box between the host and the teacher.

    The host unmuted her mic and told the typist, “It is OK. The teacher got it. I sent it to her via closed captioning.”

    “What do you mean the teacher got it? She can’t have it. We could not hear any of that last part,” the typist replied.

    Before the host could say another word, the teacher began to clearly respond to the student with appropriate detail!

    It was obvious to the host that the student’s comments were only unintelligible to their ears.

    Fortunately, the connection of a loving, open heart transcends human hearing….

  • Messenger

    Sacred Stories

    A woman was sharing the origin of the grief journey group that had gathered for the first time via ZOOM. This group had been meeting for about twenty years.

    The group had been started to support a man, with a young son, following the transition of his wife. He had attended a more formal grief group, but he found he was not comfortable sharing some of the experiences he was having.

    His wife had discovered she had advanced ovarian cancer during the cesarean birth of her son. In her final days, he and his wife had discussed the possibility of her communicating with him from the Afterlife. She had settled on a Red-tailed hawk as a way he would know it was a visit from her.

    Ten days after his wife left this earthly plane, he and his 6-year-old son were at home when this red-tail hawk flew up to their backyard fence and just sat there looking into their house.


    At the same time the woman was sharing the story of the wife’s “hawk visit” with the group, the husband was writing to the woman via Facebook Messenger about something else. Never previously had this woman received a message from him via Messenger.

    Those who love us, obviously really do continue to communicate with us from the Afterlife…. Long after life.

  • Dance Studio

    Sacred Stories

    For 85 years, the Baker School of Dance had held a themed annual recital.

    May 3, 2020’s scheduled recital theme was “All You Need is Love.”

    Due to COVID-19, the recital was cancelled. The dance studio sits empty.

    In the window of the empty studio is listed the names of all the students, along with the rainbow of hope, and the title of the 2020 Recital theme.

    Then…out of nowhere, a real rainbow appeared!


    The photo went out along with this message:

    We dancers have to move and are resilient and adaptive.

    We can get through this together.

    Congratulations to all our dancers
    and to everyone who loves to move.

    Every storm in life is followed by a rainbow.