Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: suffering

  • It’s ALL Better En Masse

    Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

    So here we are it’s Christmas,
    The most wonderful time of year,
    When our minds turn to our loved ones,
    And those we hold most dear,
    May the memories and traditions,
    That have always played a part,
    Make this season special,
    Bringing joy into your heart.

    I had intended to post this on Facebook, in fact, I thought I had, but we were navigating lengthy internet outages on Sunday and Monday morning. I just now found the unpublished post, so it will launch today’s Merry Christmas and Happy New Year message.

    Yesterday a precious Jewish friend sent an email wishing me a Merry Christmas. When I asked Google to search, “What is Christmas to non-Christians?” this was the response: For many, it’s an opportunity to connect with family and friends, enjoy festive traditions, and embrace the warm atmosphere of the season. The appeal of decorations, music, and shared meals transcends religious boundaries, making Christmas a celebration of human connection.

    The days leading up to Christmas this year are filled with more raw emotion than any I recall. On Sunday Jane Foster surprised me with a telephone call after her major complications following a 12-hour ileostomy surgery in late September. She has been hospitalized for weeks now. When she was not able to talk on the phone we figured out I could send brief text messages recorded with Voice Memos.

    Our beloved Florida friends are still in Canada as they continue to navigate her having been diagnosed in June with glioblastoma, one of the deadliest forms of brain cancer.

    Yesterday, Stacey’s dear friends made one of life’s toughest decisions and removed life-support for their wife and mother following a severe stroke this past weekend. She passed 8 hours later.

    Also, yesterday, John’s cousin posted on Facebook that his beloved wife passed the previous evening.

    Tonight, on Christmas Eve 2025, John and I have tickets to attend the 7:45 pm showing of the film Wicked For Good. When I selected our seats online late last evening, we were the only seats purchased for this time and date. My only other “private” showing at a cinema was for Lion King in 1994. It is bittersweet because last year we were with our grand children when we saw Wicked in Smyrna, Tennessee, and then met the rest of the family (including our great-grandson Jackson) for Mexican food afterwards.

    Zan Henigan Lombardo is a beloved artist friend here on Pine Island I have mentioned many times over the years because she paints amazingly significant ginormous (30-foot!) water color paintings. She hosted a Flash Mob Art event for her current project “Swimming Towards the Light” this past Saturday. I would have loved to attend but we were going to the magical musical launch for Bonnie Makepeace with Rochelle Morris that day. This morning I saw a video of Zan’s group and this is what I replied: This looks like a visual-version of a group meditation or a concert by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir — the good stuff is all better en masse!

    As all are wished a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, my heart holds the pleasant and the unpleasant life events happening simultaneously. Perhaps the simplest truth may be the same for everyone: It’s ALL better en masse….

  • Midnite’s Purple Petunia Plant

    From my journal:

      Friday, June 3, 2022

      Dear Holy Spirit,

      I am listening to a podcast by Ram Dass. (Ep. 199: The Continuity of Consciousness)

      “Somewhere between not enough and more seems to be enough.”

      At least a few moments go by before i have a thought about Joel — that’s progress. I have heard nothing from him since last Sunday evening when he sent email saying he was on the floor in his bedroom and could not get up.

      Ram says the concept ‘I am meditating’ is still “rush collecting.” He continues:

      You have been born many times and many times you have died and each time you have died you have struggled against death. You have said: “Why me? Save me. Heal me! Do whatever you need to do, doctor: Transplant, freeze, do whatever needs to be done. Cut. Mend. But keep me here.”

      And you hold desperately to the bed sheets and you struggle against it. And then you’re dead. And then a voice says to you, “Hello.”

      And then you say, “I guess I didn’t die.”

      And the voice says, “Oh, to the contrary, you are quite dead.”

      Time and time again, death after death, you have rejected that voice, and stayed in what the Christians called purgatory. You stayed in a state of confusion between births.

      (Ram Dass uses the term ‘veil of illusion’ — I’ve never heard that. I’ve heard the other side of the veil but I’ve not heard it said that it is the veil of illusion.)

      2/5 of the population of America have had transcendent, mystical experiences. That is 40 million people. Of those 40 million people, a sampling shows that 85% said, “It was the most powerful experience of my life and I never want to have another one.”

      For only some of the people, when they see through that veil, they are able to utilize that new awareness… And when you are really ripe, that one millisecond changes your whole life from now on — that lifetime. And when you are really ready, that one moment makes you say, “From here on all I wish to do now is to get free.”

      Now, when you have started to awaken in a particular lifetime, and then you die, you say, “I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die,” and then you are dead and somebody says welcome and you say I guess I didn’t die and they say yes you did and you are confused and then that moment of that previous birth when you awakened comes to you and you say, “Ah, right, this is what that was about.”

      (I have the awareness that suffering is grace.)

      Up until that time, you’ve been seeking to optimize pleasure.

      A birth is like a process of getting you straight or cleaning you up or awakening you…. You are part of a far more interesting game which you begin to be aware of in terms of your own identity….

      The meaning of every act in life starts to change. You look at all of it as process for awakening, for cleaning up your game. You don’t begrudge your history — no matter how neurotic it has been — for it has in it the stuff which has created the space you are in at this moment which allows you to hear right now.

      (I notice that I am trying too hard as I am chopping vegetables for quiche and then I hear, “Let the tool do the work.”)

      That may be the lesson of the power washer. No amount of stress or strain enhances the work. I hear that the central message again and again as I continue. No amount of effort forces sleep. No amount of worry produces peace. No amount of effort produces clarity. One cannot TRY oneself to anything.

      My mind recognizes that we can aim. A – I – M. Already is (or always is) mentality.

      Peace already is like the sun is always shining. Peace always is. Love always is. Light always is. Nothing we can do “makes” it.

      I realize consciousness is also a tool. I feel fluttering in my heart as I write this sentence.

    My blood pressure continues to be quite high, although I have had two readings over the past week and a half that would be considered normal.

    I am on Zoom attending the year-end “intensive” right now. Perhaps additional insight is to emerge during these five days. This morning’s Thought for Today from Aaron is quite interesting for me:

    Whatever it is that you’re praying for, be it health or well-being of yourself or for a loved one or whatever the prayer-intention may be, that innate perfection is always there. If you approach it from a place of fear, you keep manifesting the distortion. When you come back to the place of love, you center yourself in love and invite others to take hold of the strands with you and pray with you from that same place of love. Energetically they’re weaving together with you, weaving together a tapestry of healing with you, of growth, of love, of joy. So this is the power of prayer.

    I find it fascinating that I had just written the string about always there. Plus, when I first started my practice in Healing Touch, I named my business “Tapestry” with the tag line weaving together the threads of body, mind, and spirit. Also on the card: For when you are ready.

    I am ready.

    From my journal:

      Saturday, June 4, 2022

      Dear Holy Spirit,

      Very much aware of anticipatory stress. I am willing. I ask Alexa to play Karen Drucker’s “Morning Prayer: I will surrender to my greatest highest good.”

      As I listen, I am aware of a sensation in my left jaw and my right thumb. I look up the Louise Hay meaning of thumb and it is about intellect and worry. The affirmation is “my mind is at peace.”

      I look online and find the five hindrances. One is restlessness and worry. Uddhacca, defined as a mental factor characterized by disquietude, like water whipped by the wind.

      I imagine my body as a wide container where the energy is allowed to bounce around freely like a pinball machine. As I am sitting with the sensations and allowing them to bounce around, the sensations settle on their own.

    Joan is online from the hospital, where her husband, Bob, is in very serious condition. I have the precious memory of John’s and my experience of being held in this sangha’s awakened heart while he was in the hospital with the TIA during the Emerald Isle retreat in April. A profound awareness washes over me that if one was to complete the transition back to non-physical, this is an ideal place to do that.

    From Gratefulness.org: Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it. (Mary Oliver)

    Perhaps a perfect image to remind me is Midnite’s purple petunia plant. Every one of these variations arise from one plant.

  • The End of Suffering

    There will be something,
    anguish or elation,
    that is peculiar to this day alone.
    I rise from sleep, and say:
    Hail to the morning!
    Come down to me, my beautiful unknown.

    ~ Jessica Powers Word for the Day (gratefulness.org)

    Today’s journal entry:

      Wednesday, June 1, 2022

      Dear Holy Spirit,

      During the night I woke up with worry about Joel. This morning I know it will be helpful to do a drawing, but I’m guided to first do a three-card spread asking why, with all the release I’ve been doing, does that happen. As I’m reaching in the closet to get the cards, I hear, “You are with John, so you are constantly worried about him. Because you are not with Joel, the worry pops into awareness and you notice that. Let’s look at the seed of that worry; the manifestation of it; and the path through it. Then we will do the drawing.

      Seed of Worry – 8 of Fire Traveling

      Everybody is trying to have some destination in life. But the implications…. You were hurrying so hard, and you were worrying so hard, and this is the outcome.

      Manifestation of Worry – 4 of Fire Participation

      We are behaving almost like blind people. In such a beautiful world we are living in a small pond of our own misery. You could not have dreamed of a better universe.

      Path Through Worry – 14 Transformation

      The conflict is in man. Unless it is resolved there, it cannot be resolved anywhere else…. The politics is within you, it Is between two parts of the mind.

      A very small bridge exists.

      If this bridge is strengthened these two minds become one, the meeting of the male and female within, the meeting of yin and yang, the meeting of the left and right, the meeting of logic and illogic, the meeting of Plato and Aristotle.

    This all reminds me of a poem I’ve used many times at funerals. Note* Today at 11:00 we will attend the Celebration of Life of the father of a friend.

    THE STATION

    By Robert J. Hastings

    Tucked away in our subconscious minds is an idyllic vision in which we see ourselves on a long journey that spans an entire continent. We’re traveling by train and, from the windows, we drink in the passing scenes of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at crossings, of cattle grazing in distant pastures, of smoke pouring from power plants, of row upon row upon row of cotton and corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of city skylines and village halls.

    But uppermost in our conscious minds is our final destination–for at a certain hour and on a given day, our train will finally pull into the Station with bells ringing, flags waving, and bands playing. And once that day comes, so many wonderful dreams will come true. So restlessly, we pace the aisles and count the miles, peering ahead, waiting, waiting, waiting for the Station.

    “Yes, when we reach the Station, that will be it!” we promise ourselves. “When we’re eighteen. . . win that promotion. . . put the last kid through college. . . buy that 450SL Mercedes-Benz. . . have a nest egg for retirement!” From that day on we will all live happily ever after.

    Sooner or later, however, we must realize there is no Station in this life, no one earthly place to arrive at once and for all. The journey is the joy. The Station is an illusion–it constantly outdistances us. Yesterday’s a memory, tomorrow’s a dream. Yesterday belongs to a history, tomorrow belongs to God. Yesterday’s a fading sunset, tomorrow’s a faint sunrise. Only today is there light enough to love and live.

    So, gently close the door on yesterday and throw the key away. It isn’t the burdens of today that drive men mad, but rather the regret over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who would rob us of today.

    “Relish the moment” is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 118:24, “This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”

    So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, swim more rivers, climb more mountains, kiss more babies, count more stars. Laugh more and cry less. Go barefoot oftener. Eat more ice cream. Ride more merry-go-rounds. Watch more sunsets. Life must be lived as we go along. The Station will come soon enough.

    The drawing on my page today is a spiral. From the upper right to the lower left the ink dances across the page. From birth to death, our lives unfold.

    The words are about the teaching on emptiness from the Heart Sutra – Śūnyatā is the Pali word.

    This “self” we cherish so devotedly is nothing more than a temporary coming together of various aggregates: form, sensations, perceptions, mental activity or formations, and consciousness. It is EMPTY. Suffering ends with the recognition of its origin – grasping, clinging, aversion.

    I title the drawing: The End of Suffering.

  • Dear Former Me

    When I saw my primary on Monday she said I needed Zoloft or a therapist, maybe both. I had been overwhelmed with the stress of everything John has been going through, complicated mightily by the situation with Joel. For those new to YBR, Joel has been my co-author for over twenty years. He has developed dementia, and after being hospitalized in March for a medical issue, deemed unable to return to his home. He is now in a memory care facility near his son in Tennessee. On Wednesday his voice sounded raspy, and on Thursday morning a staff member swabbed his nose while we were on FaceTime with another friend. He has not answered text or a FaceTime call since.

    It is said one can handle work stress or home stress but not both at the same time.

    The story is more complex than appropriate to share in a single blog (would likely make a best-selling book), but what is important for this post is to recognize there is a distinction between pain and suffering.

    I have a lot of pain about Joel’s son not answering my email asking about his dad. It is almost incomprehensible the seeming lack of compassion the son has for those of us who have been with his dad. Several of us have been supporting him, caring for him, assisting him in meeting his stated desire to live out his life in his own home. Suffering comes when I go into resistance and blame about the choices the son is making. Suffering rides in on the shame that I participated in Joel’s current conditions by getting the paperwork in place that gave the son the legal right to make decisions for his dad. Shame also arises when I face how little compassion there has been for how difficult it is to supervise someone’s care from out of state.

    Yesterday’s news of yet another school shooting. Incomprehensible. At least 19 children and two teachers were killed yesterday when a gunman opened fire in a Texas elementary school. Incomprehensible. Many on social media speak of the heart-wrenching pain of this horrendous violence to innocent children. I was touched profoundly by one sharing that added wisdom to the mix.

    When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news my mother would say to me, “LOOK FOR THE HELPERS. YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND PEOPLE WHO ARE HELPING.” To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers, so many caring people in the world. ~ Mr. Rogers

    Yesterday I had an EMDR session with a very special colleague. I am grateful she was available to assist my finding some equanimity. I have been suffering. There was A LOT OF pain released with the emotion. As follow up to our time together, she suggested I write a letter to the former me.

    May 24, 2022

    Dear Former Me,

    I knew you would appreciate the special paper. You were such a loving creature and your heart wanted to do the right thing. You could not see all that was involved. It was not just about that time and place. It was as much about this time and place. That now and this now are one and the same, just as “you” and “I” are one and the same.

    You have done everything within your power. This is true for me, too. Fortunately for both of us, there is a higher power.

    We have neither had a childhood. It is time for us to have that chance. Children deserve to wake up in the morning and feel excited for their day. They do not thrive in the fields of constant vigilance.

    Do you remember the joy you felt in the gardens? You remembered it at the aviary at the zoo in Battle Creek. Your entire being was bliss. That is what you remember when I listen to the mockingbirds in Florida. We don’t have birds singing to us every moment but we have an experience of “ALL IS WELL” in our sweet bodies.

    I want you to do something for us. I want you to let go of your part. Let go of the feeling responsible for Joel. Let go of doing something wrong that hurt him.

    I’ll let go of my part, too.

    While neither of us carries all of the emotions, we both have carried the imprint – and the imprint has created a distortion.

    Can you see how the words on the page are now gradually going uphill? Things are looking up for us. Joel lives. I live. You live on, too. All endings are really new beginnings. May is going to be memorable for us. Our new beginning.

    I love you. Thank you. Please forgive me. I forgive you.

  • Motherless Child

    Sometimes I feel like a motherless child,
    Sometimes I feel like a motherless child,
    Sometimes I feel like a motherless child,
    A long way from home, a long way from home.

    Odetta knew what LIFE can feel like.

    Just yesterday — one day of LIFE holding sooooo much feeling.

    A dear friend, navigating tenuous steps speaking her feelings toward her husband (related to the complications of decisions that could birth a new beginning):”This father does not want the child,” she says, speaking metaphorically, of course.

    Another dear friend welcoming a companion as she was filled with trepidation reading online the results of a recent PET scan (positron emission tomography).

    Sad news from our daughter that our grand-kitty, Thor, crossed the rainbow bridge. Thor, one of THOSE beings. Love oozed from Thor’s pores. Thor massaged love into your most tender spots, and his purr moved mountains of misunderstandings.


    Utterances from the lips of a wife, candidly wondering aloud if they would both be better off if her husband stayed in long-term care.

    “We are called beyond and empowered by the silver thread of hope that hangs by a thread below,” this expression of LIFE written by my friend in the midst of it all drapes over the feelings of the day like low-hanging clouds.

    Don’t do things for personal benefit. And don’t do things to avoid personal damage. Do things to feel personal authenticity. Then your life will make sense, no matter what is going on around you. ~ Neale Donald Walsch

    Today is the anniversary of my mom’s “rebirth” day on May 20, 2003.

    May 20 is also the rebirth day of the woman who owned and lived in this tiny home for 33 years before we purchased it in 2017. Ursel had actually purchased the home on May 20 – 33 years prior.

    According to the teachings of the Buddha, emotions are a fundamental part of who you are — an expression of our basic intelligence and creative energy. “When you can connect with the essence of your emotions, you can respond without preconceptions and judgments.”

    Experiences are pleasant, unpleasant or neutral.

    We tend to grasp after the pleasant feelings, try to avoid unpleasant feelings, and miss the neutral feelings much of the time.

    Thought for Today

    Breathing in, I am aware of you, of your suffering. Breathing out, I hold space for your suffering. Breathing in, I am aware of my suffering. Breathing out, I hold space for my suffering. Your suffering and my suffering, the same.

    ~ Aaron

  • Retha’s Visit

    Sacred Stories

    It had been an intense retreat. She was grieving so many recent losses…

    Her best friend had passed with ALS. Her brother passed suddenly of a heart attack while climbing the stairs to visit their mother. Then her mother passed from the coronavirus — a virus that prevented her from being able to attend her mother’s funeral.

    And now, she was navigating this estrangement from her siblings.

    She had been sitting all week, doing Vipassana, being with the pain while wanting freedom from the suffering.

    She saw a small plastic picture frame, face-down on the chair. Picking it up, turning it over, she saw it was a drawing of a fish. A hand-made thank you card from a friend. The words read: Gratitude for all your compassionate support.



    The card was signed, “Vipassana love, Retha.”

    Carefully lettered up the right side of the card, “Emerald Isle 2019.” They had both attended the Emerald Isle retreat last year. Seeing Retha’s card was such a powerful gift!

    Retha’s visit was especially welcome as Retha had also passed….

    “Whatever has the nature to arise, has the nature to cease, and is not me nor mine.”

  • 3 Faces of Happiness

    “No matter how someone is acting,
    they want to be happy.”
    ~ Lion’s Roar

    Jerry Ashmore, senior teacher at Empty Circle Zen group shared this opening quote in his dharma talk this morning. As an aside, if you are looking for a wonderful Zen sitting with teachings, this group meets on Zoom twice per week: Tuesday evening and Saturday morning. I have really been grateful for this addition to my practice.

    Following Jerry’s talk, my search for “happiness quotes” showed 734,000,000 hits.

    This is a very important reminder. More meaningful in my personal experience this week that most.

    I sent a text message to my poetry writing group. “I am going to go for a bike ride instead of writing this morning. I need some grounding.” I shared some of the details (not pretty) about what was going on, and assured them I would log on in time for the update of an important project one of the women is currently working on. Her project is huge, and we all qualify as midwives….

    Lots of people find balance by exercising. Many find their center when they can get out in nature. For me, biking is a blessed bonus of both….

    Logging on after my ride, I was surprised to see one of the women in the group on line that had sent word earlier saying that she would not be there.

    “Deb, tell us how you are, and how things are with your _____ _____.” (She named the stressful situation. One of the other women in the group told me later that she had filled this woman in since she had not been expected to attend and, therefore, had not been included in my earlier text message.)

    As I began sharing, the woman who had asked me to share interrupted, “Deb, just the short version. We know you are grieving.”

    Now, admittedly, I have had some triggers with this group before.

    Whereever I go, there I am.


    “There is no short version,” I responded, and muted my mic.

    Humans can’t touch unconditional love sufficiently to extend it fully to all all of the time.

    Jerry said this morning, “That is where getting to non-hate is the wisdom practice.”

    I did more than get to non-hate. I have been so focused on something else that I offered a pretense to presence. As I forgave myself, I was able to not take her action as a personal attack.

    I was also able to do more than get to non-hate with the situation I had been challenged with for the past several weeks. The word that falls from my lips about the others involved most easily is: unskillful.

    Empathy does not show up for me in my top five in the Clifton Strengths Assessment. People who are really strong in empathy “feel what others are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through the others’ eyes and share their perspectives.”

    I have come closer to a heart of compassion through decades of mindfulness (Vipassana) practice.

    To be mindful means to be aware. It’s the energy that knows what is happening in the present moment. Lifting our arms and knowing that we’re lifting our arms—that’s mindfulness, mindfulness of our action.

    When we breathe in and we know we’re breathing in, that’s mindfulness.

    When we make a step and we know that the steps are taking place, we are mindful of the steps. Mindfulness is always mindfulness of something.

    It’s the energy that helps us be aware of what is happening right now and right here—in our body, in our feelings, in our perceptions, and around us. ~ 5 Practices for Nurturing Happineess

    Her comment was unskillful, but my response was unskillful as well. The unskilled volley left us all raw. Hell, I was already raw. For all I know, so was she…

    That is the trick, isn’t it?

    Not even a person Clifton says is endowed with empathy truly sees the world through another person’s eyes. The stressful situation has been stressful precisely because we don’t see the situation the same way.

    Jerry asked us to ponder some questions about happiness:

    What is happiness? What does happiness mean for me? Is happiness just pleasure? Is it joy? Can I be happy without a sense of well-being? Is that possible? Can I be happy without a sense of purpose in life?

    We cannot truly speak about happiness in the Buddhist way without a nod to suffering.

      Being able to enjoy happiness doesn’t require that we have zero suffering. In fact, the art of happiness is also the art of suffering well. When we learn to acknowledge, embrace, and understand our suffering, we suffer much less. Not only that, but we’re also able to go further and transform our suffering into understanding, compassion, and joy for ourselves and for others.

      One of the most difficult things for us to accept is that there is no realm where there’s only happiness and there’s no suffering.

    I am not sure what the 3 faces of happiness are.

    Perhaps to forgive again, and again, and again….

  • Through the Darkness

    Start where you are,
    use what you have,
    do what you can.

    ~ Arthur Ashe

    I am tempted to schedule this to post so readers don’t know that I have my fingers on the keyboard at 4:21 am while on retreat. If I were not retreating via Zoom because of COVID-19, I would not have the option. I would have a room mate and I would be awake and watching the mind movements. I am awake. And I am watching the mind movements. And my fingers are on the keyboard.

    This week I have been doing seva (service) by transcribing audio for our teacher, Barbara Brodsky. Most of you know that Barbara is deaf. Because she is channeling the teachings, she “hears” what was taught only after someone listens to the voice memos and sends her a document. I have been doing that for her almost real time. This, along with Barbara’s releasing the raw audios to the students, is a huge change.

    The catalyst of these changes is COVID, but, the benefit of the changes is trust.

    Last night’s evening talk, a summary of this group’s two-year commitment to the Dharma Path, began with the question, “What is the Dharma Path?”

    First, is the truth of duhkha, a Sanskrit word usually thought to mean suffering. The clearest meaning is a wheel that is off center causing the vehicle (car or cart) to lurch. Lurching makes the ride very uncomfortable, further amplified by our expectation that the ride should be smooth.

    Human beings can get off center and lurch. Suffering because we have aversion to the lurching, we grasp for the expectation and desire for no lurching.

    COVID-19 has amplified the lurching, and the aversion and grasping. Lots of duhkha…. but there is a path out.

    Earlier in the retreat, we were to answer the questions, “In this moment, what is the hardest thing for me to hold in love? What seems to sit outside of the heart?” I wrote down one word: IGNORANCE. A saying that represents ignorance is rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Wasted effort. Squandered resources. Denial. Refusal to look with the eyes of love.

    A couple of evenings ago watching two juvenile birds at the bird bath inspired a poem:

    I AM That

    The juvenile bluebird
    standing stiffly
    in the center of the bird bath

    The young starling
    watching in amazement
    before jumping in and splashing exuberantly

    As much as saying
    “Here, I’ll show you
    so you can enjoy it too”

    Exiting the bath
    Making space for the willing-to-learn
    “I-can-do-that-too!”

    Bluebird to follow suit
    Again and again
    We teach and we learn

    We center our wheel by holding clearly in view several highest intentions for our lives. I wrote: I serve those who serve. I assist humanity to transcend seeming limitations and move out of delusion and awaken to our true power to bless all.

    Lofty aspirations, for sure, but we are not alone in these endeavors. The creator of worlds is here offering us support. We are often like that juvenile bluebird, standing stiffly in our human form, ignorant of the amazing joy available to us.

    There will always be pain. The conditions around the pandemic, racial inequality, violence, desperation, despair — lurching, lurching, lurching.

    As Chris McCall sang “Here I am Lord” for us I was crying like a baby. Many of us were. Humanity is tired of the uncomfortable lurching. “I will go, Lord, if you lead me, I will hold your people in my heart.”

    If a juvenile bluebird and a juvenile starling can do it, so can we. We are not just humans. We are also divine.

    One of the closing lines in last night’s dharma talk: “Ahhhh, I see we have passed through the darkness….”

  • Holy Notre-Dame

    WORD FOR THE DAY

    I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly,
    acutely miserable…but through it all
    I still know quite certainly that
    just to be alive is a grand thing.

    Agatha Christie
    Visit Gratefulness.org/

    This week’s news out of Paris was shocking, and of all times to have it be Holy Week for humanity to experience such a devastating loss of such history and magnificence and relevance and beauty. The Cathedral of Notre-Dame destroyed by fire.

    Reminding ourselves of impermanence at times like this, we could/should read all of my blog posts rolled into one message. The message essentially is Agatha Christie’s: Just to be alive is a grand thing.

    We might start with Does the tree still live in your heart? and Tree of Hope.

    Then move back to Hey, Ma Durga. The following quotation is from that:

    “My consciousness has never associated itself with this temporary body. Before I came in this earth, I was the same. As a little girl, I was the same. I grew into womanhood, but I was still the same. When the family In which I had been born made arrangements to have this body married, I was the same… And, in front of you now, I am the same. Ever afterward, though the dance of creation change around me in the hall of eternity, I shall be the same.”

    Nothing—NO THING—lasts forever. We know that, and yet we deal with loss as though it is some sort of personal punishment.

    Yes, it is loss. Yes, it is sad. Yes, it is difficult. Yes, it is painful.

    But we do not have to suffer.

    We suffer because of our subtle judgment, the way we tell the story in our own heart and mind. Today’s Thought for Today from Deep Spring Meditation Center explains that well.

    Deep Spring Center
    Thought for Today

    Subtle judgment is caught up in the story that contracts and says,
    ‘I’m not good at this’ or,
    ‘I should be able to do it better.’

    I might look at it and say,
    ‘I can do it better.’

    That’s not a judgment.

    I know I CAN do it better.

    Can you feel the difference?

    ‘I should be able to do it better.’ Tightness, tension.

    ‘I can do it better,’ is a relaxed and spacious perception.

    ~ Aaron

    I have been dealing with Comcast this week, updating router, cable box, and DVR. It took me five trips to the store, and many hours on the phone to finally get everything working. Right in the middle of all of that frustration (and I was feeling frustrated!), I knew nothing that was happening was eternal.

    Whatever is happening, watch the stories you tell yourself about what is happening.

    Make this a truly HOLY WEEK. Give up suffering….

  • Carpe Diem!

    Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
    Old Time is still a-flying;
    And this same flower that smiles today
    Tomorrow will be dying.
    The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
    The higher he’s a-getting,
    The sooner will his race be run,
    And nearer he’s to setting.
    ~ Robert Herrick

    My fingers have been missing in action from the keyboard as I have enjoyed spending time with a precious friend. We played dominoes, went sightseeing, dined with decadence, and shared about dealing with pain.

    Today I am catching up.

    This is the beginning of the February 6, 2019 daily thought of David J. Bloyd:

    “Memories— the one thing that can never be taken away from us. Make lots of them! “

    —Catherine Pulsifer, Canadian author; age not provided

    wiseoldsayings.com (website)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    But be careful…very careful…because it’s just as easy to form a bad memory as it is a good one. I recall a story I read many years ago. A family was on a trip in their car, carefully planned regarding timing and distances, and on-target to fulfill those plans. Their little boy was in the back in his car seat playing with his favorite stuffed toy. His window was open to give him fresh air. Suddenly he cried out that his toy was gone. The father asked where it went. “Out the window”, the boy replied. Now the father had three choices: Chew the little boy out and keep driving; just keep driving and let the little boy suffer the loss; stop, turn around, and go back to look for the toy. He chose the last option.

    Later, when with friends, the wife told the story. One of the friends asked the man “Why? Why did you ruin your schedule over an inexpensive teddy bear?”

    The father smiled and said “Because the toy was his favorite.”

    Now why is that important?

    Because whatever choice he took, it would have created a memory for the little boy—either a sad one or a marvelous one. We have future memories in our control. Whatever we do today we’ll re-live tomorrow.

    Reliving pleasant things is very pleasant. I have been doing some of that around my last week. Reliving unpleasant things can be even more unpleasant than the experience itself.

    My friend, Sheilana Massey, wrote Peace Has No Space for Memories. The book encourages us to live in the moment of right now, without dragging in the past or living in the future. She says we can live with Love for what is, not for what was or what will be. From this space our planet will move into Peace, Love and Joy for all Creation.

    The Buddha taught that we cannot prevent pain, but we do not have to suffer. “In life, we cannot always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. And with this second arrow comes the possibility of choice.” (A search for ‘the second arrow’ will yield lots of pages, or check out How the Buddhist metaphor of ‘the second arrow’ can help you to be nicer to yourself.)

    This is often summarized as, “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”

    My friend is enduring a lot of pain.

    Amidst the pain, however, she is ecstatic about her new life with her new husband. She eats with enthusiasm. She loves music. She laughs a lot.

    Whatever we do today we’ll re-live tomorrow.

    Gather ye rosebuds while ye may… Cease the day!