Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: spirituality

  • New Frontiers

      Sometimes people get the mistaken notion
      that spirituality is a separate department of life,
      the penthouse of existence.

      But rightly understood,
      it is a vital awareness
      that pervades
      all realms of our being.

      ~Br. David Steindl-Rast

    Today, it is this beautiful planet we call home that calls us home to our hearts. We are being asked to plant seeds of wisdom and love. I told John today one could consider if you are hearing or reading something that is stating who or what was or is to blame about anything, to please just consider this: Anyone can win the game of Monday-Morning-Quarterbacking. It is the coaching before and during the game that makes the difference.

    I have been patient (mostly) with the world around me. While not first in THE world, I was first in my world to not allow smoking in my home. While not first in THE world, I was first in my world to save things believing they would some day be recycled.

    I have been asking John for years to consider a more environmentally friendly yard. It makes little sense to spend time, energy, and money to kill what flourishes naturally, then invest more to plant things that cost even more to be fed and watered to survive and contribute little to myriad species called nature.

    But we are where we are: we are where wild fires rage and tropical storms blow: too much or too little wind or rain. The following powerful excerpt is from the Seattle retreat in the fall of 2019 (reviewed and with some additions and edits on 09-14-20). It was just posted on the Deep Spring Meditation Center Facebook page, and it is so timely.

    Aaron: These fires in California deeply concern me, not just for the immediate damage they are doing, burning people’s homes and so forth — although it is sad that people are losing their homes, their livelihood, even and especially their lives — but for what it’s doing to the energetic and spiritual environment. To me, if people choose to live in an area where there will be a likelihood of such fires, they know that this can happen to them. But the trees did not thusly choose. Well, yes, the trees agreed to grow there, but they agreed to grow there not to be burned away but to help support a wholesome environment.

    They agreed to grow there with no foreknowledge of man’s thoughtlessness of the environment. It was a possibility but not yet a fact. The earth is ancient and the short-lived choices of mankind are more recent. And so, the Earth is getting a different message. Trees and other vegetable life are beginning to say, “Maybe it’s not safe to be here on the Earth. We are not cherished as we need to be in order to flourish. Maybe it’s time for us to shift ourselves to some other kind of evolutionary space where we may evolve with love.” Such a shift or even thought to shift is going to further downgrade the Earth’s environment. Just as man destroys the environment for certain animal species, he can destroy it for trees, and even for the elements themselves.

    Once these fires are under control and out, I’d like to see large teams of people going into the woods, into the charred roads, thanking the earth, thanking the trees, and planting seedlings. With a strong commitment, speaking to the seedlings; speaking to each from their heart, “Thank you for making a new attempt to grow here. We will try very hard to cherish you, to take care of you and the environment in which you grow.”

    It is not only our planet that is suffering. Our emotional bodies are going through these turbulent times as well. After the wildfires of anger and jealousy, fear and disdain, it is imperative we are willing to plant seedlings of forgiveness, wisdom, kindness and compassion.

    One morning after we finished (virtually) sitting together in meditation, I shared a deep and precious conversation with Bob. Bob mentioned “A Course of Love”, describing it as sort of like the sequel to A Course in Miracles. “There are several chapters you can read for free,” he said.

    ACIM was one of the bridges over troubled water when my spirituality out-grew the religion of Christianity in which I had met and committed my life to Jesus.

    From Chapter 14: New Frontiers Beyond the Body and Mind, Form and Time, A Course of Love – The Dialogues:

    What might this situation look like if I forgot everything I have previously known about similar situations, and looked at this in a new way?

    Do I really need to worry about this situation, or can I affect this situation simply by not worrying about it and allowing it to be and unfold as it will?

    While I realize that the facts would tell me this or that is true, I wonder what would happen if I disregarded the facts and was open to this being something else?

    There is so much to disregard. Our old habits, thoughts, beliefs and actions are being invited to surrender. In The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency Melody Beattie affirms: “We relinquish our tight hold and our need to control in our relationships. We take responsibility for ourselves; we allow others to do the same. We detach with the understanding that life is unfolding exactly as it needs to, for others and ourselves. The way life unfolds is good, even when it hurts. And ultimately, we can benefit from even the most difficult situations. We do this with the understanding that a Power greater than ourselves is in charge, and all is well.”

    I whisper to all sentient beings that we will do our best. We are able to cherish life and summon that vital awareness that pervades all realms of our being into new frontiers….

  • Bless the Sea Snakes

    Joel has been having ongoing challenges with his gmail account. I reached out to Rebecca, our wonderful webmaster, and she is on it. When he wrote saying, “I think I must have been cursed by the gods of the internet. What did I ever do to them….” I wrote back:

    “Well, bless the sea snakes!!!! Rebecca is going to see if Geek Squad can help her help you!”

    The following morning, Joel responded:

    I don’t remember how the sea snakes got in this. They play a prominent role in Coleridge’s “Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner.” Everyone on the ship has died except for the “hero,” and the ship is floundering and adrift. The only person left alive on board is about to die. He has to bite his tongue to have enough moisture in his mouth to speak, but with what he thinks will be his last words, he blesses the sea snakes surrounding the vessel. With the blessing, the wind comes up, and the ship makes it back to England.

    Recently I was listening to a dharma talk by Kyoun Sokuzan. Sokuzan met Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, a preeminent teacher of Tibetan Buddhism, in late 1973 and became a student. In 1974, Sokuzan attended the first session of Naropa Institute in Boulder, Colorado. In 1975, he established the Dharma Study Group of Battle Creek, Michigan. The group is currently meeting via Zoom. When someone asked Sokuzan if we need protection from the coronavirus, Sokuzan answered, “You don’t need protection, but you ask for protection. You participate in the realm you are in.”

    Continuing, “Everything is temporary. Work with it however it shows up in your neighborhood.”

    This all comes as I see my mind grasping for a safe way to be with friends and family. I hear Sokuzan say, “Go into the darkness. That is where the light is.”

    Human experience is polarized. I was one of those odd ducks who was anti-abortion and pro-legalization of abortion. A woman desperate not to birth a baby will take dangerous measures to end that pregnancy. Coat hangers are just one… Truth. Some people argue that making abortion legal motivates more women to choose that option. This is just not truth. The same argument is happening around the legalization of marijuana. Truth?

    Sokuzan: “It’s all relative truth. You can’t see the truth.”

    A friend stopped by briefly yesterday, willing to do me a huge favor. I had placed the two chairs on our front porch at the furthest distance. I donned my cute little kitty mask (a gift from my sister, Janis) and went out onto the porch. As my friend got out of her car, she saw me in my mask. “Do you want me to put a mask on?” she asked. She had one in the car. I said I would appreciate her putting on a mask.

    My friend was obviously not comfortable in the mask she was wearing. Every few seconds she would need to adjust it. The mask just did not fit her face well. As I watched, I had the thought it was more like a thong than a bikini. I hate when my underpants ride up in the crack of my butt. I have never understood someone wearing a thong. Maybe it is like Erma Bombeck’s having said she does not eat chocolate cake — she just smears it on her hips and thighs because that is where it is going to end up!

    Early in the pandemic, I began making masks that are fun. Many of those iterations have been shared in previous posts. Why? Because, as Sokuzan says, “It’s all relative truth.”

    If my friend or I had been an asymptomatic spreader of the virus, would our actions have been enough to protect the other? Sokuzan said we don’t need protection but we do need to work with things however they are showing up.

    Sokuzan used a Buddhist teaching term I had not previously run into, unless I had heard it and did not yet fully embody the dharma these words are pointing to. Trycycle has an excellent article on the teaching if you are interested. Here is the link: “Drive all blames into one.” From the article:

    “Conveniently, blaming others allows us to avoid looking into our own role in the problems and conflicts we encounter. We look outward, but we do not look within. And even in looking outward, once we have assigned the blame, we go no further. So we do not get to the root of the problem. We stop short, satisfied that we are off the hook and someone else is at fault.”

    I think a lot about my family. I take drive all blames into one to heart. If we went for a visit (as we soooooo want to do) and one of them was an asymptomatic spreader, and John or I got ill and/or died, who would be to blame?

    “This slogan {drive all blames into one} is quite radical. Instead of blaming others, you blame yourself. Even if it is not your fault, you take the blame. It is important to distinguish this practice from neurotic self-blaming or the regretful fixation on your own mistakes and how much you are at fault. It also does not imply that you should not point out wrongdoing or blow the whistle on corruption. Instead, as you go about your life, you simply notice the urge to blame others and you reverse it.”

    If my action exposed me to the virus, not even the virus is to blame. But if my action exposed someone else to the virus, I am responsible. It is simply how things showed up in the neighborhood. Drive all blames into one….

    “Pay attention to how blaming arises and what patterns it takes. See what happens when you take on the blame yourself. Notice what changes in your own experience and in what you observe around you.”

    A friend rented a hotel room near her daughter’s cottage as the extended family gathered for the Labor Day weekend. My friend took her own provisions, and she was masked and maintained safe-distance as she joined them for the wonderful celebration of her grandson’s 25th birthday.

    Other friends are leaving this weekend to visit their son and family out of state. They, too, will stay in a hotel and enjoy time with the family out-of-doors.

    Soon, in the Northern hemisphere, it will be winter. “What then?” you might ask.

    Bless the sea snakes….

    Everything is temporary.

  • Rocking Chair

    Sacred Stories

    “Remember when you told me IF I ever miss the rocking chair I can let you know?”

    The local resale shop had refused the chair when all the other household goods were picked up. Her friend had taken the chair. The seat had been repaired and a new fluffy brown chair-pad set purchased. The rocking chair had been waiting in the friend’s great room for three years.

    “Today is one of those weirdest days… I even had a dream about the chair….”

    ‘Today’ was her son’s birthday. She had had to cancel plans to see him on the West Coast.

    Her mother would not be flying in from Europe the following week.

    All due to the pandemic.

    “I am overtaken by emotions of missing my family…. That rocking chair still carries some of the attachment I guess.”

    In minutes the rocking chair filled with this mother’s loving memories was regally perched on the front porch waiting to be picked up!

    The card from her friend said simply:

    “God told me to keep the chair for you until time for it to be returned.”

  • Ambiguous Gain

    My sister and I are having a wonderful experience with the Magic Eye calendar for 2020.



    We meet via a video call on the first day of each month and we turn the page together. We love the sharing: looking; not seeing; relaxing; looking again; seeing. That is how the process works!

    September was a very challenging image to see. We both had to make at least a half-dozen attempts.

    Relaxing is key.

    Our collective exhilaration when we finally see is palpable.

    My writing time with Southern Circle Poets began with someone’s post about “Ambiguous Loss” that I had re-posted on Facebook:

    Someone once said when you love someone with dementia you lose them more and more everyday: when they are diagnosed, when they go through different stages, when they go into care and when they die.

    This is called “Ambiguous Loss.”

    ‘Rapidly shrinking brain’ is how doctors described it.

    I wouldn’t wish Dementia on anyone. As the persons brain slowly dies, they change physically and eventually forget who their loved ones are. They can eventually become bedridden, unable to move and unable to eat or drink.

    There will be people who will scroll by this message because dementia has not touched them. They may not know what it’s like to have a loved one who has fought or is fighting a battle against Dementia.

    My friend, Claudia, knows this experience well, as does Katey, one of the Southern Circle Poets.

    I wrote:

      I cannot expect you to understand what it feels like to see someone struggle with tasks that once were as easy as breathing. To hear a loved-one say or ask the same comment or question over and over again.

      And to know the truth, “I cannot fix this.”

      Being present with my own inner struggles with wanting it to be fixed is the best I can do.

      I begin a poem:

      You Once Were

      You once were so skillful; and willful.
      You once were so strong.

      The writing doesn’t go anywhere from there, so I begin again…

      Ambiguous Loss

      I wonder when I first recognized you were losing precious skills we had both taken for granted. Like scales falling off the catch-of-the-day, your identity seems to be hell-bent on shedding strengths.

      Crossing the street as the afternoon sunlight was casting shadows, I saw autumn trees on the face of the glistening parking lot still damp from a brief shower. This the first time I had accepted it was me cautioning you to watch your step. Red, yellow, orange and gold…. green now sleeping soundly somewhere.

      I cannot see your world from here.

      Permission granted to enjoy the hint of fall as the breeze blows in from the window behind me, almost cool enough to cause a chill.

      Permission granted to witness the tightness moving mechanically across my chest as I wonder what your future will unfold to.

      Permission granted to be content with both the not knowing and the wanting to know and the soft, sensuous dance between seeming opposites.

      Memory drifts back to delivering my mom to the adult foster care home. Grief at leaving her there as she looks into my face calling me Debbie, and pleads, “Don’t leave me with these strangers….” and the guilt at being my relief to be leaving her there. The years of her decline, the day of her passing—edges blur as they burn a hole in my emotional body, a single heart breaking open enough to hold the whole human happening.

      Profound gratitude now for the dear ones who have walked this path previously, providing a trail of recognition along this treacherous terrain. Remembering Hansel and Gretel and their crumbs of bread being consumed by the birds….

      I make the choice to trust I am still moving toward the center of our being.

    This morning I had a near-identical conversation with two people I love. One was about the news that a job would be ending. The other was about having been at an eye doctor’s office with frighteningly lax procedures for prevention of the spread of Covid-19. Although the content of these two experiences looks dissimilar, the words that came crossed the chasm of delusion: Every experience will be pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. We learn from it all.

    I said, “When you have already already felt the pain of the experience, be sure you reap the benefits.”

    Having worked at jobs which demanded so much that life balance was sacrificed isn’t failure. Noticing is gaining insight.

    When a child is burned by touching a hot stove, the child learns from the pain how to be safer.


    Now, this is “Ambiguous Gain…”

  • Fly Eyes

    Society evolves not by shouting each other down,
    but by the unique capacity of unique,
    individual human beings to comprehend each other.
    ~ Lewis Thomas

    I started having flies in the master bathroom. We pretty quickly figured out where they were getting in, but it took me a while to catch and release them all.

    I have been able to catch flies in my fingers for as long as I can remember. I speak to the flies, saying, “Slow down. I will let you out where you have more access to food. Easy… easy… almost there.”

    The fly totem meaning is quick and abrupt changes in your thoughts, emotions, and endeavors are afoot.

    Fly eyes are immobile, but the spherical shape and the eye’s protrusion from the head produce an almost 360-degree view of the world!

    The message from fly is, You must use your keen eyesight to see the way.

    Lewis Thomas, author of the opening quotation, was an American physician and researcher, a scientist who wrote essays and reflections on topics in biology.

    Nature has so much to teach us…

    Barbara Brodsky was a civil rights activist in her teens. She was trained in nonviolence. She tells of having been sent into a small segregated town in the deep south with an adult Caucasian couple, and a black teenage girl. Every eye was glaring at them as they entered the busy cafe, but they felt victorious that they were allowed to take a seat.

    A waitress came over and took their drink orders.

    When the waitress came back with their beverages, the ice-filled contents were poured over the head of the young black woman! Chairs were instantly kicked back and patrons filled with hatred and anger were on their feet. It was impossible to know if they would get out unharmed.

    1 Peter 3:9
    Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

    It took patience and a genuine commitment to DO NO HARM to get every one of those flies out of my bathroom alive. It took that and more to get Barbara and her companions out of that small town alive….

    Abraham Hicks said, “There isn’t anything that I cannot be or do or have, and I have a huge Nonphysical staff that’s ready to assist me, and I’m ready.” (Excerpted from Boca Raton, Florida on 1/12/97)

    It is time for kindness and wisdom and patience and commitment to do no harm. We need the help of all of that nonphysical staff so every sentient being on this planet can inherit a blessing.

    I am ready.

    I hope you are ready too…

  • Meddling Mind

    The world is changed by your example, not your opinion.
    ~ Paul Coehlo

    As I was feeling befuddled by boredom, I happened upon a dharma talk by Kyoun Sokuzan. Sokuzan, a fully transmitted monk in the Soto Zen Buddhist tradition, was speaking about meddling mind.

    Adyashanti (born Steven Gray in 1962), an American spiritual teacher and writer, says, “To have enough curiosity to start to question your deepest identity is absolutely vital and essential to spiritual awakening, and to the realization of peace and freedom.”

    When I say “I stumbled upon a dharma talk,” I mean that I still have no rational understanding of how I got onto the live stream. Oh, I know this teacher is the head of the SokukoJi Buddhist Temple Monastery, in Battle Creek, Michigan. A mutual Buddhist friend has attended events there before Covid-19.

    From the Website:

    America has Zen all the time. Why, my Teacher, should I meddle?

    April 10, 1938

    We have here the very same breeze as the remote spring at Lumbini, the birthplace of the Buddha.

    The very same mist hangs over the evening garden as it did over the ancient woods of Asoka trees.

    There is no spot on this good earth which is not the birthplace of a Buddha.

    I had not gone to their website, or their Facebook page, nor signed up for anything with this group. But the morning after I heard the dharma talk on meddling mind, I had a deep discussion with a dear friend about the danger of delusion. Very shortly after that conversation I read these powerful words of a writer-colleague:

    “Doodling Without Concern for End-Gain”

    By letting go of fantasy, desire, and ego, which all come from inside ourselves, Paulus suggested opening to the energy of nature, a model of abundance and non-possession coming from outside ourselves.

    ~ Zan Lombardo

    (NOTE: This is a chapter for a collaborative book being written by a group of people who were strongly influenced by Paulus Berensohn (1933-2017), dancer, potter, poet, artist, deep ecologist, teacher and former director at the Penland School of Crafts in Penland, North Carolina. Zan’s work is not yet published work, and has been shared here without her expressed permission.)

    P.S. I found this “Ball and Box” analogy explaining grief relevant. It was posted by a friend who lost her 35 year old son recently. If you find it helpful, please share it with others.


    Grief related to a recent loss can stimulate fairly constant pain. The ball and box analogy allowed the author of the article to understand why it is normal to still be experiencing intermittent feelings of grief even years after recovering from the initial shock of a loss.

    Grief is something we get through…. not something to get over.

    Meddling mind would have us believe or deny or act out feelings, thoughts, and opinions related to grief and loss. Coehlo expressed it so powerfully: the world is changed by our example.

    The pandemic is generating and amplifying feelings for people. Awareness allows us to be more skillful, compassionate, and wise with ourselves and others.

  • Message from Chuck

    Sacred Stories

    She was attending a grief journey group that is meeting virtually during the pandemic.

    One of the co-facilitators is a man very sensitive to messages from those in spirit. He said he had a message from “Chuck.” He thought it might be for one of the other women but she knew it was for her.

    “My dad is Chuck,” she said.

    “Chuck wants you to know that your nephew ‘landed safely.’”

    Her 35-year-old nephew had just passed away this week!!!

  • Praying Mantis

    Sacred Stories

    Chatting on the phone, she mentioned having seen a praying mantis the previous day. It was on the cover that protects the bikes from rain. She said she had gently relocated it to the porch step, and then asked permission to take a photo. “It looked right at the camera!”

    After the photo was taken, the mantis moved back onto the bike cover, then later onto the side of the house, staying there the rest of the day.

    She looked up the symbolic meaning.

      Praying Mantis Totem

      Folks with the Praying Mantis totem tend to elevate the consciousness of others. They are gifted psychics that are willing to share their knowledge. They love to teach.

    Her friend excitedly chimed in, “I had a praying mantis on my hand in the garden day before yesterday! It stayed there until I had to gently move it onto a rock sculpture so I could finish my work.”

    We are receiving messages from nature moment-by-moment….

  • What Are You Doing Today?

    The farmer may only be planting a seed,
    but if he opens his eyes
    he is feeding the whole world.
    ~ Omaha Bee

    This opening quotation kicked off a precious story about a three-person construction crew who was approached by a man asking what each was doing. The first said he was working for pittance and was getting tired, the second said he was laying concrete, the third (a woman, in the version I read) said, “I am building a hospital where people will receive needed medical care and many lives will be saved.”

    The man responded, “Yes… You are building my hospital.”

    The man was the benefactor, and he made the woman head over the entire project.

    I don’t know if this story actually happened as it is written, but the essence of this story is happening all over the planet at every moment as we are either working for a pittance, laying concrete, or saving lives.

    What are you doing today?

    Deep Spring Center
    Thought for Today

    You ask why there seem to be increasing obstacles. If you’re muddling around thinking about being more loving and caring and connected in your lives but not really doing much about it, negative polarity can relax. They see you’re not really getting anywhere. Since WWII, there has been a tremendous move toward positive polarity in the world. Many old souls are coming into birth, especially in the past 30 years. Here are many beings really intent on finding a way to live with love in the world rather than with an ‘eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth’ doctrine. Negative polarity looks around and says, ‘What’s happening? This is getting out of hand! Look how loving they’re becoming. Let’s toss in some opposition here.’ ~ Aaron

    Deep Spring has a new blog! Here is a link to the first post: The Vibration of Love is Protection from COVID-19

    Sign up to receive all of the posts real-time!!!

  • Angie’s Mom

    Sacred Stories

    “How is your yoga practice working or not working for you?” the yoga instructor asked as they began the second yoga retreat using the Zoom platform since the beginning of the pandemic.

    One woman confessed she had been having difficulty finding a location in her home to practice yoga. She said she was currently in her bedroom, which offers the best space, but she would be lying on a dirty rug that smelled like dog.

    They had only recently lost Angie…

    The Zoom host read a powerful paragraph from The Dharma of Dogs: Our Best Friends as Spiritual Teachers, by Tami Simon.

    “The pain of her death was exquisite. I cried for weeks, but felt an incredible joy and comfort that was an equal part of the grief. I was so grateful that I had spent time with her — only with her, fully present and joyful.” (p.163)

    The host mentioned that an online grief journey group attended by a mutual friend of Angie’s mom would be meeting virtually the following day from 4-6 pm. The mutual friend was currently in Atlanta — awaiting the welcoming of a new grandchild — and would not be in attendance. The yoga instructor said she also attends the group (her husband had passed seven months earlier) and would be there.

    Just as the invitation to attend the grief journey group for support was being offered Angie’s mom, a text message popped in from the friend in Atlanta!

    There is no such thing as accident; it is fate misnamed. ~ Napoleon Bonaparte