Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: spirituality

Questions Enlighten
It is not the answer that enlightens
but the question.

~ Eugene Ionesco

Tuesday evening as our group met on Zoom, physically located all over the globe, we were fully present with one anothers’ questions. “How do you know if you are awake?”

“I can feel that still center. I can tell when I am not there as well.”

“How do you know you are receiving guidance or listening to your higher self?”

“I am less impatient. I am more able to sit in the unknowing.”

I mentioned an experience I had a few years ago when Writing Down Your Soul: How to Activate and Listen to the Extraordinary Voice Within, a book written by Janet Conner, appeared on my co-author’s Kindle.

My co-author did not purchase the book, and although I share access to his Kindle, nor did I. That this book just ‘appeared’ caught my attention. When I synced his Kindle, my attention was held as I read Conner’s words: “After all, it is no accident that this book has come to you. In the big scheme of things there are no accidents, only divine appointments.”

Conner’s outer life had fallen apart. Her husband abused alcohol, threatened suicide, and put their son in harm’s way. Her dog dragged a copy of Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way down the hallway from her bedroom to where she was seated in a stupor of sadness and despair. Picking up a pen and paper and opening to the power of writing in a journal changed her life. Along the way, she wrote out her covenant:
A few minutes ago when my son-in-law came home to take an important phone call. My daughter said, “Do we need to pray about it?”

Without even thinking, I replied, “Are we not already praying?”

My soul seems to have integrated these high hopes written so succinctly in Janet’s Covenant because I do not use prayer as something I “do.” Prayer is truly a wonderful sense of being continually in the Presence of the Divine.

When others ask me for prayer, and I say, “Praying,” my experience is that I am moving my attention into a stream of well-being that is already flowing toward that person or situation. My prayer is not a request for an intervention so much as it is an acknowledgment of an omnipresence of grace and love available to all at all times.

“And it shall come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.” (Isaiah 65:24)

Buddhist “prayer” activities, such as the recitation of sutras or mantras, are about connecting with our own inner capacity to develop constructive emotions such as compassion, enthusiasm, patience.

The motivation to prayer is to engage in constructive actions of helping … for the benefit of all.

May your heart soar as you read the Great Spirit Prayer translated by Lakota Sioux Chief Yellow Lark in 1887:
Whatever your questions, be willing to ask them. The very asking is an expression of your soul’s willingness to be one who knows.

Questions enlighten….
December 14, 2022
Lower Case “p” in Plan

My face is clear and I have completed two of the five prescription protocols. Three continue for the balance of the 14 days. I am very thankful my face is no longer swollen and burning and itchy.

It is quite interesting how big the little things feel.

It has been a wonderFULL time here in Tennessee. I have been busy with “projects” for Stacey (the greatest of which was organizing, arranging, and detailing her at-home-office). Here she is, working from there right at this very moment.

On Friday, Stacey and John and I took Doug’s truck to Franklin (just under an hour drive) to pick up a futon for the office. We were on a tight schedule because Stacey wanted to get back for her Barre class. Good thing she changed into her exercise clothes before we left home….

We had that futon loaded in record time. We felt the white-hot, sinking-feeling as we realized the keys (and our phones!) were locked in the truck. Stacey called Doug to come let us in. The wind was a bit brisk, so the three of us were semi-huddled on the seller’s porch when I said, “Perhaps this experience has multiple opportunities. I wonder if I am to get to know who she is.”

At that moment, Amber Westerman (singer-songwriter) came out to offer us water and ask if we needed anything. Amber had studied sustainable farming in Hawaii. Our grandson Brad had an interest in that during college. She studied Ayurvedic Medicine in Iowa, along with meditation practices.

OKAY, I get it…. likely not everyone picking up a futon would even know what Ayurveda is…. needless to say we had a very nice connection.

And Stacey made her Barre class!

Check out amberwestermanmusic.com or search her name. It was fun to see some videos of her original music. I still have a strong sense there may be something else calling our paths to cross in the future.

Stacey had purchased the furniture for her office. She had gotten her computer set up and had been working some in the space for a while. Settling in had definitely been derailed when our great-grandson, Jackson, had seizures and subsequent hospital stays.

We like to think we are planning our life and living our plan, but Life, with a capital “L” takes president over our plan, with a lower case “p.”

This morning, I opened Neale Donald Walsch’s message and read, “… what your heart thinks is great, is great. The soul’s emphasis is always right. Ralph Waldo Emerson said that, and he was correct.”

Walsch continued, “The mind is the last part of yourself to listen to. It thinks of everything you can lose. The heart thinks of everything you can give, and the soul thinks of everything you are.”

This comes at such a significant time. Results from Jackson’s genetic testing are due on Thursday afternoon’s follow-up with the pediatric neurologist at Vanderbilt. John and I are very grateful we will be here with them all for that.

Usually, I am one who likes bare windows to let light in but when I hung the pretty little sheers on Stacey’s office window a transformative softness immediately fell over the space.

The future you shall know
when it has come;
before then,
forget it.
~ Aeschylus

December 6, 2022
A Heart that Hurts
There are opportunities
even in the most difficult moments.

~ Wangari Maathai

It has been a busy couple of weeks. We left Michigan on Monday, November 21, and have been staying with Stacey and Doug here in Smyrna, Tennessee. We had an easy trip down, and we had a wonderful Thanksgiving Dinner with all of the kids on Friday. Things took an unexpected turn a few days ago…. seems as though I was not complete with that yeast infection and the remorse.

The itchy face began again in earnest. By Tuesday morning, my face was quite red and dry, itching and burning. Wednesday morning, November 30, I woke up with my entire face inflamed and so severely swollen I am barely recognizable. (Note – I have attached a photo. If you receive Yellow Brick Road by email you will have to click on the title and follow the link to the website to see it. I warn you, it is not pretty….)

Not a coincidence that this event occurred five months to the day since I last had a FaceTime call with Joel, this after over twenty years of almost daily contact, including many, many trips to trainings, conferences, and speaking engagements. Mind you, I made the decision that the kindest thing might be for me to stop trying so hard to maintain contact given the increased dementia that resulted in his move to be near his son.

The team at American Family Care was so kind and very thorough. Soon after a steroid injection I was looking more like myself and feeling a whole lot better. I am on a 14-day aggressive program, hopefully this will both ease the yeast out without triggering another histamine storm. They are speaking the truth when they stay skin is the largest, most sensitive organ of the human body.

From my journal yesterday morning at 3:33 am EST:
I draw to find meaning from the pain, and I write to share meaning with others. There are opportunities even in the most difficult moments.

The drawing is titled “No Blame, No Shame.” There is a thought bubble with the words, “What did I (or you) (or anyone) do to deserve this pain?”

The face has one tear and the red, swollen, itchy realty of my current face.

I write in the first of the Four Noble Truths: Everybody suffers just like you.

I ponder what has me awake. The coughing spell (our Jackson had a bad cold with fever and coughing when he got here on Friday and first Doug, and then I got a cold)? The five-month anniversary of last speaking to Joel? The haunting remorse of my choice to not try and force contact?

I notice a slight uphill to the words on the page. I misspell hallelujah and have to look it up. (Ha! I misspelled it when keying it in just now, too.)

I change the description from uphill to upward slant.

As the heat of the histamine storm releases, perhaps my heart is easing into a steady beat of loving what is, even if I’m not able to enjoy it.

I add the lyrics to “Universal Heartbeat” by Juliana Hatfield: A heart that hurts, is a heart, a heart that works.

I draw a sun in the upper right corner of the page and add: The sun shines even on a rainy day.

Along the left margin I write: I am not ashamed to share my messes with the masses. It is beautiful to know you are not alone. I add arrows and the words: No more red marking pens.

I have attached a photo of the drawing. Remember to click on the title and follow the link to the website if you want to see it.

This morning’s Daily Quote from Aaron really speaks to my heart: “Remember that your energy does touch everything in the world. When you are caught up in fear, that frightened energy reverberates around the globe. When you feel compassion and lovingkindness, that energy spreads around the globe.”

A heart that hurts is a heart that works.
December 2, 2022
Drawn to the Desert

Sacred Stories

She was feeling such disappointment, hurt, and anger. Her husband had essentially told her he could not support her plans to go to Morocco. Her daughter felt the same way, “You are too old. That ship has sailed….”

Pouring out her heart about all of this the following day, her sister listened and expressed compassion, then asked her to speak of what the idea of the trip meant to her. “Almost like a vision quest. Out of my comfort zone. Wanting to prove to myself I am capable. Learning a lot about fear. I have a heart connection with the friend I have met online and I would like to meet her. I want to go to the desert.”

Her sister looked up ‘desert spiritual meaning’ and read out loud to her essentially all her heart had just spoken!

The desert symbolizes survival, creativity, clarity, revelations, loneliness, and overcoming life’s greatest obstacles.

Metaphorically, the desert is a place of testing and transformation, of being divested of empire and ego. In the desert experience, the dreams, goals, and visions of the false self can be seen clearly, sometimes for the first time. The desert symbolizes the terrain in which we unlearn empire spirituality.

Wow….

“You have a clear sense of what it is for you,” her sister said, fully understanding the feelings of disappointment and anger. “It might be helpful to be clear on that intention and be open to multiple ways to integrate all of this in your life. It seems that thinking there is only one way something can happen is the ego and the empire spirituality the symbolism is describing.”

Even with the feelings still present, she could see truth in that.

The following morning her sister’s supposedly-randomly-selected screen saver was a desert scene, and this message from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency shared by a friend spoke so succinctly of the situation:

Too often, we try to gain a clear perspective before it is time. That will make us crazy. We do not always know why things are happening the way they are….

Today, I will let things happen without trying to figure everything out. If clarity is not available to me today, I will trust it to come later, in retrospect. I will put simple trust in the truth that all is well, events are unfolding as they should, and all will work out for good in my life—better than I can imagine.

November 15, 2022
Rest in Me

Sacred Stories

Her toddler great-grandson had been going through serious health issues for the past few weeks. Her Yellow Brick Road (blog) post that morning had been about meeting the chaos in the world by resting, not wrestling. Here is a brief excerpt:

Thinking outside of the box, moving through experiences with presence, having an open heart, listening without judgment — these are the transformative results of RESTING.

Resting. Not wrestling.

Go to http://scs-matters.com/YellowBrickRoad/all-of-the-rest/ to read the full post.

Shortly after her post went live, the following words appeared on her Facebook feed:

God is saying to you today…
REST IN ME.
I will turn around every bad situation
in your life.
I will bless you and your family,
and I will heal what needs to be healed.
Amen!

November 12, 2022
All of the Rest

Well, the itching that I endured during an eight-day silent meditation retreat was not contact dermatitis after all. AND a yeast infection can be made worse because topical corticosteroids weaken the skin’s defenses and allow yeast infections to invade deeper into the skin. This week I have been on three prescriptions (oral and topical) and I am almost totally itch-free. This all ties in so well with themes from the “Awakening – As Sudden, Gradual and Both” Deep Spring retreat, and with a conversation begun this week with the Chairman of the Board for the Samuel U. Rodgers Health Center – a federally qualified health center in Kansas City, Missouri.

You see, as Barbara Brodsky stated so clearly, “Its not the agitation that is a problem, its the aversion to the agitation.”

Barbra continued, “The mind that is constantly worried about it is not part of the solution. The mind in stillness is.”

And then, “The only way we can resolve any of this is within ourselves.”

On the first day of the retreat, Saturday, October 29. 2022, Jackson (our 22 month old great grandson) had a seizure in the parking garage of Children’s Hospital at Erlanger in Chattanooga, Tennessee, where he had been admitted on the evening of Monday, October 24. He was airlifted to Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, Tennessee.

On the last day of the retreat, Saturday, November 5, 2022, he was re-admitted into PICU and placed on a vent.

“Sometimes you can not fix it. Sometimes you are living life one strobe light after another…” Aaron was speaking of Barbara’s having been awakened shortly after falling asleep many times hour-after-hour by a flashing, vibrating, strobe light. “She could not control the outcome. She could control what was inside her own heart.”

The folks in Kansas City are justified in being frustrated by the snafu in the system that leaves entire populations under-served and individual persons with less-than-optimal lives. But, every moment of agitation adds agitation to the universe. The world’s waters are chaotic.

Barbara Marx Hubbard told folks to ask what you are born to do and then follow the compass of joy. Samuel Ulysses Rodgers did just that. (See: More Than a Doctor: The Extraordinary Life of Samuel Ulysses Rodgers) The book demonstrates, through family stories of triumph over adversity, that core family values are the cornerstone of character essential to integrity-filled leadership.

Rodgers is not the only one who has a destiny to make a difference. One of India’s greatest spiritual teachers, Neem Karoli Baba, opened Larry’s heart and told him his destiny was to work for the World Health Organization to help eradicate killer smallpox. He would never have believed he would become a key player in eliminating a 10,000-year-old disease that killed more than half a billion people in the 20th century alone. Larry’s story, and his last name, is chronicled in Sometimes Brilliant: The Impossible Adventure of a Spiritual Seeker and Visionary Physician Who Helped Conquer the Worst Disease in History. Check out his TED talks about smallpox and Covid, and see if you might want to buy the book.

More importantly, please buy the truth: every moment of agitation adds agitation to the universe.

Thinking outside of the box, moving through experiences with presence, having an open heart, listening without judgment — these are the transformative results of RESTING.

Resting. Not wrestling.

I laugh about the many iterations of what we call everything other than allopathic medicine: alternative (coined by the AMA), holistic, integrative, functional…. the best comment I ever heard was when someone asked a doctor whether he practiced holistic medicine. He said, “Medicine is either effective or ineffective, nothing else.” Whether patient, doctor, nurse, care-giver — it is clear the system is in chaos. I could write a book about the ways a one-size-fits-all approach works (as well as with pantyhose). But, wrestling with it only strengthens it.

When I was a spokesperson for (at that time) holistic health in our wider community, I would say that a true holistic model considered the best of the West, and all of the rest.

My friend, Anna Marie, said imagine living with awareness of the wisdom within: “Somewhere in that person’s life, he or she has available the next thing needed.” I have said it only slightly differently: “There is no right thing for every one, but there is a right thing for this person at this moment.”

The love and support that is holding space for our Jackson is palpable. You could walk across water and never get wet we are being so held up. We do not know what the next moment will bring for him, or for us.

Jackon enjoying reading with G-pa
at Vanderbilt Tuesday, November 8, 2022.

What do I want to bring to the next moment? Awareness. Presence. An open heart.

Flight of the Garuda conveys the heart advice of one of the most beloved nonsectarian masters of Tibet, Shabkar.

This self awareness is naturally free from the very first. How amazing that it is liberated by just resting — at ease in whatever happens!
~ The Flight of the Garuda

November 12, 2022
Takes Teamwork

Sacred Stories

She was a bit rushed as she finished blow-drying her hair and reached to remove her curling iron from the bottom drawer. The plug to the cord was stuck on something. She wrestled with it and tried without success to get it freed before hearing the internal message to stop struggling so much and get down to a better position.

“Now, slow down a bit. Be easier. Quit trying so hard….” a stream of encouragement poured into her consciousness through her mind’s ear.

Rolling up the small rug, she knelt on the floor in front of the drawers. Reaching into the underneath of the drawer above, she could feel the end of the plug. Tracing the cord, however, she could not feel any port of release. The thought came that perhaps the plug was sideways and needed just to be turned in the other direction. It took a lot of doing – she had essentially only two fingers to work with. The conclusion was clear: the plug did not come free in either direction.

“They need to move forward together….” she heard clearly.

Easing her left hand under the upper drawer, she was able to use her right hand to hold the cord while wedging her right elbow into the corner of the lower drawer. With gently push and slow and steady pressure, both drawers were able to slide forward in the same movement.

The plug was set free!

Henry Ford said, “If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself.”

Yep, takes teamwork….

November 11, 2022
Lord Only Knows

Sacred Stories

After much unknown — whether or not they would be going to Florida for the winter following the devastation of the community where they had been going for over a decade — an alternate location was secured and dates for departure set. They would be leaving in a mere 10 days and there was sooooo much to do.

She sent a text message to their niece,”We would love to see you and your mom (their sister-in-love), and Lisa (their other niece) and her mom (their other sister-in-love) before we head south. I know it is short notice, but wondering if tomorrow might be an option. Checking with you and your mom before reaching out to Lisa and her mom. Up there or somewhere down here…. I guess Lisa would be working so maybe some time for either a collaborative meal, or a meal out, or just a welcome visit.”

“Either day is open for me. I have an appointment from 11-noon, but I am open after that,” came Krista’s response. “I will check with mom.”

“Mom has a hair appointment but that should be done by 9:30, so tomorrow works for her, too.”

Lisa’s quick reply was such a beautiful blessing: “That works for me, I have the day off work tomorrow. Let’s meet in the middle!”

And then an affirmative, “That sounds good to me,” from Lisa’s mom.

If they had tried to plan a day to fit into everyone’s schedule, Lord only knows when that would have been.

Yes, Lord only knows….

Do not be anxious about anything,
but in every situation,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.
~ Philippians 4:6

November 10, 2022
West Coast Casa

Sacred Stories

So, when she first made it to their “West Coast Casa” after their weekend community took a direct hit from Hurricane Ian, the sign that had a prominent place right next to the door, had been a casualty. That sign had so much sentimental value.

Sifting through the devastation, she was able to find three pieces out of the five pieces. She honestly thought that it was just a total loss because of the enormous damage from the wind and the storm surge. A neighbor’s boat was found a few streets away, while his boat trailer had stayed in the yard!

Who knew where the other pieces would/could be?

Two weeks went by, and while they were helping their next door neighbor by picking up the debris in her back yard, she found one piece! She was so happy, she still had some hope that she would find the other piece that was missing. She looked and looked in both yards, and between the two….

Some time went by. Debris was being piled in the streets and picked up and hauled away. She had made peace that she was not going to find the missing piece. She reached out to the artist who make this one for them, inquiring whether she could just replace the missing piece for them. Or, she would just buy another.

Many of their neighbors don’t live in Florida year round and have not been able to get to their properties yet. She has been taking photos and videos, and for the neighbors kitty corner from them, she’s even been going into the house a few times to check on things for them. This week, those neighbors asked if she and her husband would go check on the lanai and open up some windows.

As she and her husband were walking toward the lanai, he started screaming. When she turned around, he was grinning from ear-to-ear and holding up the missing piece to their sign!

That last piece….

Found!

DEE & ANT’S
WEST COAST CASA
Est. 2015

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” ~ Galatians 6:9

November 7, 2022
Birds at Oakwood
The 8-day silent meditation retreat will take more than one Yellow Brick Road to share with readers. Day One included 22-month old, Jackson, our great grandson, being air-lifted from the hospital in Chattanooga to Vanderbilt after he had a seizure in the parking garage following discharge.

Day Eight is complete with nurse Linda diagnosing the rash I have been plagued with all week as likely a yeast infection. I will spare you photos of that, but more about both of these strong catalysts are sure to appear at a later date….

Birds were an active part of my inner process this past week, so I will share with you their respective totem meanings in the order of their appearance:

1. Chickadee Meaning

Lots of Chickadees were in the grasses out back when I went for a short walk on dinner break of the Deep Spring Center Oakwood-at-home retreat with Barbara Brodsky and John Orr, and a host of spirit friends, as well as dharma sisters and brothers.

People with the chickadee totem animal are fiercely protective of their “flock.” This manifests itself as vigilance which can at times become excessive. It is crucial that people with this totem animal learn to recognize the difference between healthy caution and anxiety.

Chickadee tells you to be cheerful and hold your head up in all situations. You can transform your life and dictate your outcomes by thinking positively.

Click to hear the Chickadee.

2. Swan Meaning

Each day I would choose a “touch” stone. I held the swan rose quartz on Monday.

You become aware of your own inner beauty. You also unfold the ability to bridge to other realms and powers. The swan medicine helps you see the beauty of yourself as well as of others despite outer appearances. And that ability makes you like a ‘magnet’ that draws other people to you.

3. Woodpecker Meaning

The woodpecker teaches us to look beneath the surface of things and to open up our minds to the hidden meanings, lessons, and opportunities that life on earth has to offer.

4. Blue Jay Meaning

Blue Jays relate to everything from strength to confidence to communication, depending on the context in which you see them. For some, these birds have the reputation of being loud, aggressive, and mean. However, certain cultures see them as lucky or a symbol of good things to come.

5. Crow Meaning

Crows show up to let you know that there are spiritual shifts happening around you and remind you to pay attention to the spiritual messages that are sent to guide you. They represent transformation, cycles, psychic tools, and insight into unseen realms. Crows are problem solvers and can help you tune into a solution when you are faced with a challenge.

6. Sparrow Meaning

As the carillon at Pilgrim UCC church on the corner nearby began playing, the Sparrows in the shrub just outside my window began to sing right along! I noted in my retreat journal that this was happening, and clearly I heard in my mind, “Would you miss my sweet song just because I’m so ordinary?”

Surprising Sparrow facts.

The sparrow totem animal is connected with unity, selflessness, and integrity. People with the sparrow as their totem tend to be great team players…

The House Sparrow (Passer domesticus) is, in fact, one of the most common and widespread animals on this planet. Although our familiarity with these birds often desensitizes us to their beauty, these common birds are no less fascinating and beautiful.

Sacred to the goddess Aphrodite of the Greek pantheon, to Vishnu in Hindu mythology, and both Branwen and Rhiannon in Welsh mythology, the sparrow’s common nature has earned it a place in cultural traditions around the world.

7. Blue Grosbeak Meaning

Okay, the Blue Grosbeak sighting was in the wonderful article by my friend, Hart Rufe. His article posted on November 1, but I just saw it today after the end of the retreat. You can access the column at: https://www.stlucieaudubon.org/hart-beat-2022. New with this column is access to all past columns right in the top of the current page

Symbolic of many things, including faith, adaptability, romance, and good news; the grosbeak is an endless source of wisdom. Like all birds, grosbeaks teach us to appreciate the beauty and blessings of the natural world. Different grosbeak colors have different symbolic meanings. Rose feathers symbolize emotions and they tell you to find a heart song that will heal your pain. Blue and green feathers signify abundance, fortune, harmony, and the possibility of a wedding.

It is my sacred intention for that wedding to be a union of each human being with the higher self. May the benefits of this retreat be a blessing to all beings.

Thank you, Claudia Mierau, for sharing this beautiful poem from the book, Go In and In, by Danna Faulds.
November 5, 2022