Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: spirit

  • Satellites!

    Sacred Stories

    He is not very religious. He grew up Roman Catholic, and even went to Catholic School, but by college he says he was done with the Vatican.

    Every evening he goes out to look for satellites and when he sees one, he prays gratitude to God who gave us the intelligence to put huge pieces of junk in orbit.

    She always thought this was crazy.

    Since they had moved from Southwest Michigan to Detroit, he had not seen a satellite, although he would watch every night.

    She passed away….

    She was Seventh Day Adventist. She was taught to believe once you die you go to sleep until the second coming of Christ. If you lived a good life, you wake up with Him. If not, then you would stay asleep.

    Three weeks after she passed, he went out looked up into the sky. He prayed and asked her that if her “dirt nap” theory was wrong, and that she was actually looking down on him from heaven, to please allow him to see a satellite.

    At that moment, he saw one… then two, three, four, five….

    He saw a total of 17 satellites in consecutive order, spaced about 4-6 inches apart to the naked eye. It took all of about five minutes.

    It was so incredible! He called one of her best friends and he called her brother, telling them what he was witnessing.

    He says, “Just way too cool!!! She knew that would be what I was looking for.”

    She made sure he had no choice not to know!

  • Creative Mending

    I had some text exchange with my firstborn grandchild, Brad, sharing emotional reactions and perceptions of the current conditions. Some we love dearly entertain the notion that COVID-19 is a conspiracy. I shared with him a recent writing:

    Daily Doula Duty

    My book, I Learned Everything I Needed to Know About Life Working as a Doula, is not yet written, but the awareness is etched into my days nonetheless. The last trimester of pregnancy is no picnic. Sleep is illusive as pressure on the bladder likely means many trips to the bathroom. The rapidly growing fetus works hard to finds comfortable place to stretch out in the tight quarters—often right on the mom’s sciatic nerve. Back pain, leg cramps…. Perhaps all of this is preparation.

    Most women go into labor exhausted, and after that there will be long days and short nights of having an infant to care for.

    The job of the doula is to coach the woman into conserving what precious little energy she has. She is going to need it.

    No matter how long or how difficult the labor, the hardest work comes after the cervix is dilated¬—in the second stage of labor.

    The second stage of labor is when the woman really needs stamina. And stamina takes energy.

    One of my clients had to be put on oxygen to be able to push. Not only was she exhausted, she also had bronchitis.

    My sister delivered her youngest just as intestinal flu was ramping through her family of five, the normal work of laboring was clearly distorted by the accompanying vomiting and diarrhea.

    The human mind is very prone to vomiting and diarrhea….

    When all is said and done, we may be among the fortunate ones to have survived the pandemic of 2020. Suffice it to say, humanity as a whole is likely going into the second stage of labor exhausted.

    High-powered executives confessed to hoping for a scheduled cesarean delivery….

    It is important to conserve our energy. We don’t know what more is going to be demanded of us.

    Bonnie’s daughter is celebrating Mother’s Day this year having just lost her mom to COVID-19. There was no access to the hospital. No visitation or funeral. She writes: “I am going to go pack up some of her things on Sunday. I have some other ideas to share some special moments with her, too. I feel her a lot. It almost feels like she’s not gone because she is around so much. Meaning I don’t miss her physical presence (as much) because her spirit is so strong.”

    The second stage of labor can last a few moments or a few hours.

    Take heart: the second stage of labor means the cervix has already dilated.

    Your body, your mind, and your spirit can do what is being asked of it.

    Key awareness at this point: Don’t be a prisoner to what you cannot change.
    • Remember this is not your birth
    • Remember to rest when you can
    • Remember to breathe through contractions
    • Remember you are not the first or the only to go through this
    • Remember everything you have done to be ready
    • Remember getting through this is the most important thing
    • Remember you will forget the pain
    Debra Basham 05-08-2020 (WC 500)

    Brad responded, “Is this some ninja level NLPing?”

    Zan Lombardo, my friend and artist extraordinaire, was doing some creative mending during our Southern Circle Poets virtual gathering. On the shirt in the photo below, what seems to be a pendant, is actually where a moth hole was. The turquoise is a random doodled line that Zan stitched.

    Transrational Pyramid from Healing with Language (Bowman and Basham p.187):

    The observer’s perspective is both caring and disinterested, free of attachment, neither fearing nor desiring a specific outcome, but wanting only what is usually called the Highest Good for all. That doesn’t mean they have given up playing an active role in causes and activities they think are beneficial. It just means that they do so from a more peaceful and less judgmental perspective.

    Now, that is some creative mending….

  • It Hurts


    Old doors close
    so new ones can open.
    Don’t get stuck on what
    fell apart just because it hurts.
    Transformation requires
    growth and letting go.

    ~Brahma Kumaris Thought for Today

    My friend, Kathy, lost her husband on January 18, 2020. She had been his care-giver. Their home was visited almost daily by friends and a devoted team of home-care and hospice-care helpers. For weeks now, she and their dog and cat are there. The pandemic means EVERYTHING social is lost. It hurts.

    Yesterday was to have been the college graduation ceremony of our only granddaughter, Courtney Nicole Ross. All face-to-face classes at UTC went online Monday, March 23, and for the remainder of the spring 2020 semester. Courtney is the first female college graduate in my line. With all A’s and B’s, she has graduated, but the ceremony and our family gathering together to celebrate as we watched her walk in her cap and gown did not happen. It hurts.

    My client/friend/colleague, Bonnie, passed away from COVID-19 in a hospital—a hospital her family was not allowed to enter. I had to decline an invitation to come offer a brief ceremony at the funeral home or cemetery, saying, “Let’s wait and honor her Celebration of Life when we can be together.” It hurts.

    In May of 2003, my mom was nearing the completion of her transition. I was finally alone with her for a few moments. I began to spontaneously sing (badly) a made-up song, “Momma’s gonna get a brand new pair of wings, fly, Momma, fly….”

    A social worker walked in and, embarrassed, I stopped singing.

    The social worker softly whispered, “Please, go on….”

    I continued to sing until I felt my mom’s center of gravity shift from her material body to her energy body. My mom’s face softened into a beautiful shade of pink as she relaxed into her wings.

    Moments later my sister and her son and daughter-in-law and their young son returned from having gone to get something to eat. I knew it was OK for me to leave. It hurts.

    Soon after, my sister was alone with our mom. My sister said, “Mom, I would really like to be with you as you cross. If you want me to be with you, it is time, because I am very tired and I need to go home soon.”

    Three minutes later, our mom was soaring with her brand new pair of wings.

    Old doors do close so new ones can open. We don’t have to get stuck on what fell apart just because it hurts. The transformation of humanity and our soaring with new wings requires growth and letting go.

    I found myself singing another ditty about flying with new wings while I was out riding my bike wearing my mask.

    I sent the voice memo titled “My Bonnie” to Bonnie’s daughter, Melody.

    It makes me laugh because my Bonnie had a semi-professional singing voice!

  • Directions in Antwerp

    Sacred Stories

    She had recently moved to Antwerp, Belgium, to begin her student teaching in the American School.

    Antwerp is the capital of Antwerp province in the Flemish Region. As in all Flemish provinces, the official and standard language of the Antwerp province is Dutch. Common with Flemish Brabant, North Brabant and Brussels, the local dialect is a Brabantian variety.

    She had gone out, gotten lost, and could not find her way back home. She was surrounded by people who were all speaking different languages—mostly Flemmish or French.

    A woman appeared, and told her how to find her way back home.

    She had not seen the woman approach, and she did not see where the woman went.

    She knew she had encountered an “angel” just at the moment she needed the help.

    The universe is filled with angels….

  • Closed Captioning

    Sacred Stories

    The heart has its reasons
    which reason knows nothing of…
    We know the truth
    not only by the reason,
    but by the heart.
    ~ Blaise Pascal

    The student was on a sailboat in a very remote location on the coast of the Baja Peninsula in Mexico.

    The teacher—who is deaf—was in Michigan.

    A typist was keying in the student’s comments to the teacher, using ZOOM, when a weak internet connection resulted in dropped audio and a frozen image, rendering the communication impossible.

    The typist unmuted her mic and said to the student, “Stop. You need to go back. I did not catch any of that.”

    Meanwhile, the ZOOM host had her fingers on the keyboard. Complete sentences were appearing in the closed captioning box between the host and the teacher.

    The host unmuted her mic and told the typist, “It is OK. The teacher got it. I sent it to her via closed captioning.”

    “What do you mean the teacher got it? She can’t have it. We could not hear any of that last part,” the typist replied.

    Before the host could say another word, the teacher began to clearly respond to the student with appropriate detail!

    It was obvious to the host that the student’s comments were only unintelligible to their ears.

    Fortunately, the connection of a loving, open heart transcends human hearing….

  • Messenger

    Sacred Stories

    A woman was sharing the origin of the grief journey group that had gathered for the first time via ZOOM. This group had been meeting for about twenty years.

    The group had been started to support a man, with a young son, following the transition of his wife. He had attended a more formal grief group, but he found he was not comfortable sharing some of the experiences he was having.

    His wife had discovered she had advanced ovarian cancer during the cesarean birth of her son. In her final days, he and his wife had discussed the possibility of her communicating with him from the Afterlife. She had settled on a Red-tailed hawk as a way he would know it was a visit from her.

    Ten days after his wife left this earthly plane, he and his 6-year-old son were at home when this red-tail hawk flew up to their backyard fence and just sat there looking into their house.


    At the same time the woman was sharing the story of the wife’s “hawk visit” with the group, the husband was writing to the woman via Facebook Messenger about something else. Never previously had this woman received a message from him via Messenger.

    Those who love us, obviously really do continue to communicate with us from the Afterlife…. Long after life.

  • Dance Studio

    Sacred Stories

    For 85 years, the Baker School of Dance had held a themed annual recital.

    May 3, 2020’s scheduled recital theme was “All You Need is Love.”

    Due to COVID-19, the recital was cancelled. The dance studio sits empty.

    In the window of the empty studio is listed the names of all the students, along with the rainbow of hope, and the title of the 2020 Recital theme.

    Then…out of nowhere, a real rainbow appeared!


    The photo went out along with this message:

    We dancers have to move and are resilient and adaptive.

    We can get through this together.

    Congratulations to all our dancers
    and to everyone who loves to move.

    Every storm in life is followed by a rainbow.

  • Aaron

    Sacred Stories

    She was hosting a ZOOM workshop, listening to one of the teacher’s closing instructions.

    The face of the teacher was “spotlighted.” The teacher’s face was the large image, filling her entire screen.

    Her mic was off, and she was recording the audio using “voice memo” on her iPhone.

    If you listen closely to the audio link below, at about 2 minutes 50 seconds you will hear her start to softly laugh/cry.

    She felt as though the teacher was gazing right into her soul through the screen as the teacher said, “I know you get this,” before continuing on with the instructions.

    At about 3 minutes 30 seconds into the audio, she was moved to tears. You can hear her breathing and you can identify that she is crying.

    It is obvious the teacher stops speaking just briefly—allowing her emotions to settle before continuing.

    Amazingly, this teacher is a channeled being called Aaron.

    And, Barbara Brodsky, the channel who brings Aaron through, is completely deaf….

    butterfly


  • Emerald Isle Musings

    WORD FOR THE DAY

    We did not ask for this room or this music;
    we were invited in.

    Therefore, because the dark surrounds us,
    let us turn our faces toward the light.

    Let us endure hardship
    to be grateful for plenty…

    We did not ask for this room or this music.

    But because we are here,
    let us dance.

    ~ Stephen King
    (visit GRATEFULNESS.ORG)

    The closing “circle” for the 2020 Emerald Isle meditation retreat was—like the entire week—happening on ZOOM.

    The title of the retreat was “Deepening Practice in Challenging Times.”

    While I had planned to use the week letting go of the stress of the past month of Pandemic and Post-Mold-Remediation experience (see my previous posts), at the last minute, I became Debra the Deva-in-Demand, functioning as the ZOOM co-host/moderator for the week.

    Note* I have no previous experience hosting a group on ZOOM.

    A difficulty with the platform is how to effectively experience group chanting. We are still working on that….

    Although I did not ask for this room, or this music, I was there, so I danced. The ZOOM room was welcoming, the messy music was magical, and I was so blessed to serve.

    Adding an intricate layer of dance moves to our virtual/residential retreat is the fact that our beloved teacher, Barbara Brodsky, is deaf. Our beloved co-teacher, John Orr, did a lot of simultaneous speaking while finger-signing for Barbara, including an entire dharma talk! Volunteers did much typing into the chat box, and I was often directing Barbara via closed-caption. A retreat moto might have been, “Slow down, slow down… a little bit slower, please.”

    The Pali term, Katavedi, is related to gratefully giving as a result of having fully received.

    The one who is grateful (kataññu) helps in return (katavedi).

    For the closing circle, we gathered at the appointed time, and one-by-one people let me know when ready to share. That person’s face would be spotlighted, their words (which had been emailed to me) would be shared on the screen. Each person (sometimes tearfully) would read. Here are my closing words:

    There were some rough spots with the technology of this retreat. Contraction, grasping, wanting to help. I am totally new to hosting ZOOM. Patty and Tana and I had a crash course last week. Tana received more than a few SOS messages. WE did the best we could. Not at all easy, but so much learning! We will do better next time.

    Additionally, two friends are in ICU on ventilators with COVID-19. I have had my phone and email active this week to host ZOOM. I am grateful to have been available to both of these families. Ordinarily, my phone and email would not have been checked at all during the week of retreat.

    My husband, John, had sciatica so severely at the start of the week he could barely walk from the bed to the bathroom. At the end of each night, I would do reflexology for him.

    John Orr spoke of katavedi, which is giving back from that place of appreciation and gratitude.

    This week I have been giving back. We could never ask for better teachers.

    I have infinite love and gratitude for Barbara, and John, Aaron, The Mother, Jeshua, Father John… LOVE, and for each of you, my brothers and sisters of light.

    I could write a book titled “SNAFU” related to the ambitious decision to offer a week-long, silent, residential retreat with people safe-sheltering at home, but the difficulties did not diminish the benefits.

    Most participants were surprised, pleased, and affected by their first residential retreat at home.

    Writing this, my heart sank as I realized Rita asked me to share for her, and I forgot to do that. Here are her loving words of gratitude: It was an honor to participate in the retreat with each and every one of you. The strong feeling of connection with so many, most of whom I had never “met” before, was so warming and affirming. I want to thank Aaron, Barbara and John for sharing their wisdom, personal stories, encouragement and Love. I truly feel blessed to have had the opportunity to be in the presence of such skillful loving teachers. Namaste’

    We practice where we are. Where we are is in social-isolation. This bird on the shrub is outside my virtual “meditation hall” window:

    Iris shared a Terry Tempest Williams poem (also one of my favorites): “Once upon a time, when women were birds, there was the simple understanding that to sing at dawn and to sing at dusk was to heal the world through joy. The birds still remember what we have forgotten, that the world is meant to be celebrated.”

    The world—even the current pandemic world—is meant to be celebrated. Even in social isolation, we are never alone. LOVE is always with us.

    And so LOVE must have the final “going home” instructions:

    YOU are LOVE. That essence of you can never be destroyed.

    It can be hidden.
    Let it out!

    It can be forgotten.
    Reawaken it!

    I want friends to dance with me in the garden of LOVE.

    You are so special and beautiful—each of you. The millions of beings on this earth who had the courage to incarnate, to move past old, limiting habit patterns of fear, and remember the essence of LOVE. This is what your practice is for.

    I want to thank you for giving this week of your time to this practice.

    Giving and receiving…. giving and receiving…. giving and receiving.

    My heart to your heart.

    I love you.

  • A Bird in the Hand

    Up way before the first bird sings a song of the light soon coming, I wonder if it is breaking the noble silence to have my fingers on the keyboard writing to you while I am still on retreat. The lines are blurry at this retreat. It is being held on ZOOM and people are not just sheltering-in-place, now they are also retreating-in-place. Our meditation hall is a photo on my computer, using “share screen” on ZOOM.


    So many of the benefits are here; being with others dedicated to the practice, clear seeing into habitual tendencies, helpful instruction, and deep dharma talks. I am so grateful we are instructed to see everything though the eyes of LOVE.

    I do miss really some aspects of a residential retreat: having meals prepared, hearing others cough or breathe or chant or cry, and the walk to and from the meditation hall in the stillness of the darkness.

    COVID-19 has certainly brought a lot of changes….

    I will save more personal reflections until after the retreat ends and be content now sharing some highlights of the teachings:

    1. Rejoicing in the good efforts of others is the easiest way to contentment. (This is usually thought of as rejoicing in the good fortune of others, but one student learned to use this principle related to the good efforts of others. I liked that a lot.)

    2. The only way we can resolve habit patterns of mind is to experience them.

    3. This pain is bearable, but there is still aversion. Think, “Ahhh, I can have compassion for this human.” Notice what this aversion feels like in your body. Is is hot? Icy? You can bring compassion to these sensations.

    4. In the depth of wisdom and compassion, there is no grasping or aversion, just space for the experiences of pleasant or unpleasant or neutral.

    5. Is there anything here that is not an expression of the unconditioned? (God / Source / All That Is)

    6. To give and receive love means to release the ego enough that there is little distinction between self and others. From your profound intention to alleviate suffering for all beings, cherish yourself and all equally.

    7. Story of Jeshua as a child having hit a bird with a slingshot. The intention was not to hit the bird but to hit the target. The bird was bleeding. The subtle thought, “I am bad. I am evil.” His mother guiding him to forgive himself and to forgive the bird for being where it was able to be hit. Offering the bird forgiveness for having eaten a worm. He took the bird into his small hands, “Cherishing the bird and cherishing myself.” In a few moments, the bird shook itself, looked at Jeshua, and then flew away. Jesuhua said, “I don’t know why the bird lived. Perhaps it lived because I reminded it it was loved and the world needed it….”

    I hear the first bird singing outside my window now. You have time. Drop your old beliefs about self and others. All are loved. The world needs all.