Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: Sonny

  • Things Said and Unsaid

    How was it that her whole life could be
    distilled down to that simple truth?
    Words mattered.
    Her life had been defined
    by things said and unsaid….

    Winter Garden: A Novel
    by Kristin Hannah

    Yesterday morning on my bike ride I had one of those mundane moments that reveal such eternal truth it almost takes your breath away. Making the left turn into a short cul-de-sac, I saw a cat stretched out on the driveway. In my best, high-pitched voice I spoke my heart, “Hello, Kitty!!!”

    Every rotation of the bike’s tires revealed deep yearning for a close encounter of the cat kind. Since 2000, I had cat energy in my life weekly, when I was in Kalamazoo at Joel’s home. The current generation of cats: Bobbie, McGee, and Zeus, were adopted into a new home after Joel was moved to a memory-care facility in Tennessee late this spring.

    Loss of Joel’s intellect, his collaboration, his witness to my birth as a writer was entwined with the loss of the satiating love of cat.

    During the winters in Florida, I would go to Great Licks Ice Cream Parlor, to pet the cat. Many a morning bike ride took me to St. James City Automotive, home of Sonny, who would enjoy the affection so much he would forget to swallow – dripping drool all over himself and me and the floor. (See Sonny in “Fingers on Fur” from 2018.)

    A few days ago, my sister posted on Facebook: There is no greater earthly privilege than to have been loved by a cat. My comment on her post was this emoji with a cat on my head.

    A lively conversation with a dharma sister about the nuance that unconditional love is probably really unconditionED love has opened my heart to so much truth these past days. This morning I was led to a Yellow Brick Road blog post from on February 17, 2019. In that post “Acceptance” I feel a sacred circle of truth: Saying exactly what you need will allow a new pattern to emerge. Be willing to say it gently over and over until the new pattern is stable.

    Circling that cul-de-sac I could feel the grasping for that cat encounter. In my head was a tug-of-war about stopping or not stopping. Approaching the driveway from the other direction, I still did not know if I was going to stop and approach the cat.

    As my subtle energy began making the turn away from the drive, that voice called out, “Have a great day, Kitty!”

    Then and only then, did my awareness expand and notice that the kitty was not the only four-legged in that driveway: A robust German Shepherd had been lying on the asphalt a few feet away from the cat!!!!

    So many times in life grasping or aversion have dictated words said or unsaid.

    One New Years Eve, somewhere about 1980, my resolution was to every day say to Stacey, “I love you”….

    Be willing to say it gently over and over until the new pattern is stable.

    Be willing to say it gently over and over until the new pattern is stable.

    Be willing to say it gently over and over until the new pattern is stable.

  • Fingers on Fur

    Preparations are underway to head to Smyrna tomorrow. We never say or think we are leaving Pine Island after enjoying “the season” here—we are going to see the grandkids!

    Recently my brother-in-law experienced the death of the woman he had cared for the past five years. He was committed to her. They married in November, so he could insure her wishes could be carried out. She wanted to stay in her home, and she did. I sent him a snapshot of the empty cupboard here on Bounty Lane saying, “Reminding both of us an empty space sits in the field of Infinite Possibilities.”

    Last week I rode my bike to the auto repair shop near here where a resident cat I like to visit lives. His name is Sonny.



    When I came through the door, helmet on my head, Sonny was up on the counter being petted by a customer while the owner of the shop did the paperwork. Sonny made eye contact with me and I said to him, in my high-pitched kitty-loving voice, “Yes, you’re the one I came to see.”

    Sonny shot down off that counter, right out from from under the customer’s hands, and ran over to me. The customer said to the shop owner, “Well, he obviously knows her!”

    It was my first visit this season and I had such a feeling of nostalgia wondering why I had waited so long to do something I love so much. I wrote this poem. Many of you will relate.

    Meow Musings

    Don’t get your dander up
    Sonny’s just a pussy
    not at all a push-over
    even rather fussy

    He fancies petting
    and so do I
    rubbing him the right way
    produces a sigh

    It’s not all pretense
    this is genuine love
    any time kitty time
    is a cut above

    Feline fancier
    that I am
    that cat got me
    out of a jam

    Sour mood, bad food
    whatever ails you
    fingers on fur
    chases the blues

    Debra Basham 3/24/2018

    Amidst it all, we must make time (we will never find time) to do the things that bless our hearts and minds. I will go to meditation today while John goes to play music. He is at shuffleboard this morning. Everything will get done.

    And Deep Spring Center’s Thought for Today:
    “Try as hard as you will, you cannot hold the world from changing. You cannot hold other people or yourself from changing. To try to do that with yourself so as to please another is unloving to yourself, asking yourself not to be true to yourself and your experience. It’s also an unloving to another because it gives them a false hope that you are as they may try to make you to be. The greatest gift you can give is the willingness to have enough love and respect for another not to live your life around their fear.”