Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: Sheilana Massey

Queen Stinky

For this is wisdom; to live,
To take what fate, or the Gods, may give.
~ Laurence Hope

Wouldn’t it be great to have the name Hope! Or Faith! Cope is the maiden name of a friend. My own name (Debra) means busy bee in colloquialism, and she who brings the sublime light of the creator in the Egyptian cartouche.

“We can’t control the events of our lives…” was the next line in the daily reading that opened with the quotation by Laurence Hope.

This was also the theme of Tuesday’s meditation group with Sheilana Massey, who asked us to reflect on whether we are living our life, or letting our life live us. She asked, “When things are not going our way, are we trying to make it do that?”

Someone shared a Quaker Saying, “The way will open related to that.”

I asked, “Do we have to make something wrong in order to learn?”

A woman mentioned how scientists and mathematicians are now coming to the same conclusions about the world spiritualists have long held.

I have been dancing with demons expressing as insecurity around lack of formal education, comparing my poetry writing to others, and feeling not good enough. Familiar stories….

Last evening just about dusk we had a surprise visitor at our bird feeder.

Reading in Animal-Speak, by Ted Andrews:

Skunk teaches how to give respect, expect respect, and demand respect.

It is self-assured and confident in itself.

If skunk has shown up, it can help you with this particular aspect.

(p. 312-313)

Yes, I have been dancing with demons but I have come to value the dancing as exercise — not in futility, but fertility.

This particular skunk is absolutely gorgeous. I have never seen one so white or so fluffy. My sister, Janis, named this one Queen Stinky. I like that name very much….

July 23, 2020
What Am I Willing To Do?

After reading a rather long article related to the spread of COVID-19 I am pondering what I am willing to do for the good of all: Don’t Test, Don’t Tell — 10 Days Later.

Jim Koopman is an epidemiologist. Jim and his wife, Helen, host the meditation group that meets on Pine Island with Sheilana Massey. I sent the article to Jim this morning asking him the question, “Would this be over by everyone in the world totally isolating for 14 days?”

Here is Jim’s response and a link about him.

If you had absolutely perfect social distancing, where no one went out and touched things contaminated by cases, a couple weeks would work. We don’t know how effective our social distancing is. But we are hoping to cut transmission in half. If we could do that, the basic reproduction number would be about that of a typical seasonal flu epidemic with an established strain. But no one is expecting we will do that well. This experience, however, is going to tell us a lot about how infections spread in different parts of our population if we can only get really good testing soon and conduct extensive serological surveys with extensive behavioral and social data.

Jim Koopman MD MPH Developing Theory that Serves the Public Health

This morning I asked John to read the article before going to shuffleboard as he had planned. I reminded him I can only be as safe as he is willing to be. No one is an island. We are all in this together.

Without fear, guided by entirely by compassion and wisdom, we can ask ourselves simply, “What am I willing to do for the good of all?”

Kathy Zerler and I have committed to sharing a daily yoga practice via phone. Many organizations offering meditation, worship, and/or fitness classes, are opening up Zoom or Facebook Live gatherings. We are capable of staying connected, even while we are guided to practice “perfect social distancing” for the good of all.

Today, my meditation teacher, Barbara Brodsky, is bringing her husband home. Hal had a severe stroke two years ago and has been in a nursing home. Facilities are restricting those coming in and out to limit risk to an already vulnerable population. Barbara knows without access to his care team, Hal would be sentenced to bed, without therapy of any kind. As many of you know, Barbara is deaf and since the stroke Hal has been unable to use sign language.

Barbara’s message this morning about bringing Hal home: “Challenging, scary and wonderful!”

Yes, these times are challenging, scary and WONDERful….

March 17, 2020
Carpe Diem!

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today
Tomorrow will be dying.
The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
The higher he’s a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer he’s to setting.
~ Robert Herrick

My fingers have been missing in action from the keyboard as I have enjoyed spending time with a precious friend. We played dominoes, went sightseeing, dined with decadence, and shared about dealing with pain.

Today I am catching up.

This is the beginning of the February 6, 2019 daily thought of David J. Bloyd:

“Memories— the one thing that can never be taken away from us. Make lots of them! “

—Catherine Pulsifer, Canadian author; age not provided

wiseoldsayings.com (website)

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But be careful…very careful…because it’s just as easy to form a bad memory as it is a good one. I recall a story I read many years ago. A family was on a trip in their car, carefully planned regarding timing and distances, and on-target to fulfill those plans. Their little boy was in the back in his car seat playing with his favorite stuffed toy. His window was open to give him fresh air. Suddenly he cried out that his toy was gone. The father asked where it went. “Out the window”, the boy replied. Now the father had three choices: Chew the little boy out and keep driving; just keep driving and let the little boy suffer the loss; stop, turn around, and go back to look for the toy. He chose the last option.

Later, when with friends, the wife told the story. One of the friends asked the man “Why? Why did you ruin your schedule over an inexpensive teddy bear?”

The father smiled and said “Because the toy was his favorite.”

Now why is that important?

Because whatever choice he took, it would have created a memory for the little boy—either a sad one or a marvelous one. We have future memories in our control. Whatever we do today we’ll re-live tomorrow.

Reliving pleasant things is very pleasant. I have been doing some of that around my last week. Reliving unpleasant things can be even more unpleasant than the experience itself.

My friend, Sheilana Massey, wrote Peace Has No Space for Memories. The book encourages us to live in the moment of right now, without dragging in the past or living in the future. She says we can live with Love for what is, not for what was or what will be. From this space our planet will move into Peace, Love and Joy for all Creation.

The Buddha taught that we cannot prevent pain, but we do not have to suffer. “In life, we cannot always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. And with this second arrow comes the possibility of choice.” (A search for ‘the second arrow’ will yield lots of pages, or check out How the Buddhist metaphor of ‘the second arrow’ can help you to be nicer to yourself.)

This is often summarized as, “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”

My friend is enduring a lot of pain.

Amidst the pain, however, she is ecstatic about her new life with her new husband. She eats with enthusiasm. She loves music. She laughs a lot.

Whatever we do today we’ll re-live tomorrow.

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may… Cease the day!

February 7, 2019