Tag: SCS Matters

  • Sold!

    Sacred Stories

    She and her husband were looking for a new home. She had worked as a real estate agent previously so she knew how to access all the listings in the area. She knew that not one single home fit their criteria.

    Suddenly, she remembered having sold a couple a home that would be ideal. Of course, it was not listed.

    She drove by to show her husband.

    The owners were so glad to see her.

    She explained that she had just come by to show it to her husband because she had always loved the house.

    While chatting, she discovered her father and the father of the homeowner (the wife) had exactly the same first and last name!

    The owners had just retired the prior week and were planning to list the house.

    Sold!

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Goodbye

    Give the ones you love

    wings to fly,

    roots to come back

    and reasons to stay.

    ~ The Dalai Lama

    I am suddenly feeling quite weary. My eyes are burning and I can barely stay awake. It is almost 11:00 pm, but I don’t think this is physical tired.

    Something is pulling me inward. I am pondering.

    My sister officially retired today. We have shared an office wall for many of the years she has worked as a massage therapist. In the past decade we have been together in three offices. After a session I could smell her essential oils when she would come out of her room on the way to the restroom to wash her hands. It smelled like love to me.

    Today I told her I will miss seeing her between clients. She said, “But now you can see me for other stuff. I will have time and energy to do things.”

    So what is this lump in my throat, this sense of sadness or loss?

    Today I was reminded of the teaching: When the conditions are present emotions will arise.

    I am saying goodbye to our relationship as colleagues.

    I am so thankful we are not saying goodbye to our relationship as sisters.

  • A Soldier in Afghanistan

    Sacred Stories

    She resisted an urge to share a personal account about her brother’s experience in Afghanistan with her book group until another member commented on having read another book by the same title of the book the club was currently reading.

    “The other book is about a soldier in Afghanistan,” the club member said.

    She knew immediately that was a sign she was to share.

    Her brother had died in Afghanistan.

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Forgiveness and Loving-kindness

    This morning I was catching up doing “Day One” of Pompe Strater-Vidal’s 11-Day Meditation Challenge on the 4 aspects of Immeasurable Mind, Loving Kindness, Compassion, Equanimity and Joy, that started yesterday. The message on loving-kindness practice was about how you have to begin by loving and being kind to yourself. I was directed to identify something that I do well, a trait of mine that I appreciate. (You may want to play along with me as you read this and identify right now a trait of yours that you appreciate.)

    The trait I identified was sharing freely of my professional skills/knowledge with people that I meet, such as I had done a few days ago with a young woman in the waiting room when I went to have an X-Ray of my back and hip.

    The woman volunteered that she was really uncomfortable, needing to urinate. I told her I was sure they had a restroom in this area, as I had not noticed she was pregnant. She went on to say that she was waiting to have an ultrasound so she could not go until after and the baby was kicking. She said she had always loved feeling the baby kick, because she had previously experienced a miscarriage. At this time, the kicks were very uncomfortable due to her full bladder.

    I told her how she could place her hand on her abdomen and tell her baby she normally loves feeling the kicks but right now they are uncomfortable and it would be very helpful for there to be no kicking until after the ultrasound. I shared about when I guided our daughter to ask our granddaughter to wait to be born until they could get her room ready. Courtney ended up being induced!

    I gave the woman a free download card for my “Welcome Baby!” audio designed for listening during pregnancy, preparing for labor and delivery.

    This morning as soon as I remembered the interaction with this expectant mom, suddenly I had a cellular memory of having been in Europe in 2011. On the climb down from visiting the Montségur Monument, we saw an expectant couple. I struck up a conversation, found out they were from the US and were having their first baby. As I remember it, the woman I was traveling with was very critical of my sharing with them about “Welcome Baby!”. She said it was rude and selfish and inappropriate to have an unsolicited conversation with them and then tell them about the “Welcome Baby!”audio.

    As soon as I accessed this memory from Europe, I had another simultaneous awareness of a time I had been punished when I was innocent. I was in third grade. The student sitting behind me tapped me on my back asking for help. She was having difficulty sight reading a word in her book. My guesses were very far off sounding out “Can-oh-wee” and “Can-ow” until I put the word into context. When I realized the word was “canoe” she and I both collapsed into a fit of giggles. All our teacher saw at that moment was me, turned around leaning over the other student’s desk, and the two of us laughing.

    We were called up front and we both got paddled. To add insult to injury, I was paddled with the paddle I had brought in for the teacher so she could paddle the boys for being bad.

    Today I know the core of forgiveness and loving-kindness waiting all these years to come into my innocent heart is my own sense that the boys deserved to be paddled.

    I opened my email to read this:

    Today’s thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

    We can practice forgiveness each day.

    Resentments have a way of creeping back into my psyche even after I have let go of them. I know that holding a grudge is harmful to my emotional health and can threaten my abstinence, but what can I do when I keep feeling anger toward someone?

    In the interest of recovery, in my own best interest, I can continue to forgive each day. I may not be able to forgive the person once and for all, but I can do it right now, just for today. With practice, who knows? Perhaps the resentment will disappear.

    When I remember that my own track record is far from perfect, I realize I could use some daily forgiveness too, both from others and from myself. True forgiveness reaches across time and touches everyone.

    Just for now, I can let go of resentments and forgive. If resentments come back, I can forgive again.
    You are reading from the book:

    Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

    I do not have permission to reprint this quotation from Inner Harvest, so I ask forgiveness from Elisabeth L.for sharing it.

  • Oscar & Boots

    Sacred Stories

    She was having lunch with some new friends.

    The host had two cats.

    One cat was named Oscar. The other cat was named Boots.

    Her father’s name was Oscar, and his nickname was Boots.

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • “If” In Life

    IF IN LIFE

    There will always be a ‘lie’ in believe,
    An ‘over’ in lover,
    An ‘end’ in friend,
    An ‘us’ in trust,
    And an ‘if’ in life.
    —author’s name not provided

    The Boehner aphorism, “If ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ were candy and nuts, we’d all have a merry Christmas,” was coined by the Dallas Cowboys quarterback, Don Meredith, who later became a sports commentator for the TV show Monday Night Football in 1970. But it is not just football that realizes there is an “if” in life.

    This week, Stacey and Doug let the family know they will not be going on their Caribbean cruise on their boat (“The Lady Gail”) this October. This decision is partially the result of Doug’s Dad’s having had a toe, foot, and leg amputated due to diabetes complication, and partially the result of Doug’s inside-and-outside cardiac ablation scheduled for Tuesday, May 29. We are all feeling disappointment.

    As a result, I am working on a clergy column about the importance of not letting disappointment digress into despair. I will include in that article the Buddhist story about the second arrow in which the Buddha asked a student, “If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful? If the person is struck by a second arrow, is it even more painful?”

    The teaching goes on, “In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. This second arrow is optional.”

    The Buddha’s second-arrow teaching is most often used as a demonstration that while pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

    This week I had a conversation with a college sophomore who has recently experienced some difficulty with the loss of a relationship. His own words were, “I feel like shit.” We understand that but also know his life is not over. Experience shows how rarely a life-long union occurs with the partner in our early relationships. These moments of loss are rich times for learning about ourselves, preparing us for what is yet to come.

    In some ways, Stacey and Doug (and all of us) are going through a loss similar to this young man’s. I was joyfully anticipating almost a month with Stacey in Florida in December while Doug was taking the boat over open water from Florida to the British Virgin Islands. While their current plan is just to postpone their trip one year, we all know there will always be an “if” in life.

    I was able to hear the truth as I told this young man it is not something we get over, but loss is something we get through. His ability to feel disappointment without the second-arrow of discouragement in the current situation will change the rest of his life. This is true for all of our “if’s” in life. Trust is important for us: for Stacey and Doug and their kids, and for John and me.

    Jeremiah 29:11-13 from “The Message”

    “…I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

    12 “When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen.

    13-14 “When you come looking for me, you’ll find me.

    “Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” God’s Decree.
    Doug’s putting up the main sail on The Lady Gail in April.

  • Shadow

    Sacred Stories

    As he sat in an alcohol rehabilitation group session he noticed a very large shadow on the floor. He moved around to confirm it was not “his” shadow, simply “a” shadow.

    Looking down at it, a former boss came to mind.

    A few days later he understood.

    His former boss had died suddenly of a major heart attack the day he had seen the shadow….

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Mystical Me

    “Daily the world grows smaller,
    leaving understanding
    the only place where peace can find a home.”
    — Huston Smith

    In 1958, Huston Smith wrote “The Religions of Man”, which has been a standard textbook in college-level comparative religion classes for half a century. In 1991, it was revised and expanded and given the gender-neutral title “The World’s Religions.” The two versions together have sold more than three million copies. I first fell in love with Huston Smith when I saw an interview on TV while I was going through the ordination process to become a Minister of Reunion.

    “It is the most important book in comparative religious studies ever,” Stephen Prothero, a professor of religion at Boston University, said in an interview.

    This morning I was having a conversation with a dear friend. She had been frustrated navigating some computer responsibilities she was finding challenging. Even on our easiest days, our days are filled with news of challenges. I opened my email after hanging up the phone and saw this quotation from a colleague who writes a daily inspiration message:

    “I am grateful for all my problems. After each one was overcome, I became stronger and more able to meet those that were still to come. I grew in all my difficulties.” James Cash Penney, American businessman and entrepreneur; 1875-1971 (from greatest-quotations.com

    I quickly sent my friend a message: “Oh, wow, this opening quotation is so timely! One friend was vacationing in Rome with her husband and now he is hospitalized there…. A colleague just cut the tip of her finger off as she prepares to start a new career as a massage therapist…. My daughter’s father-in-law just lost a toe, a foot, and now a leg to diabetes.”

    My conversation this morning got around to the importance of making a commitment to be kind to ourselves, as we would be with others. The woman who was frustrated with the computer tasks would have been compassionate toward another colleague; the woman who cut herself would not have called her child injured in an accident ‘stupid’; and neither should we hold these attitudes toward ourselves.

    I met Alan Seale in 1997, right after he wrote On Becoming a 21st Century Mystic. I still hear him saying, “In the 21st Century we will become mystics or we will become nothing at all.”

    His was “the first book to fully integrate spiritual awakening with intuitive development, ON BECOMING A 21ST-CENTURY MYSTIC brings together timeless wisdom of ancient traditions with practical spirituality for today. It leads the reader on a very personal journey of spiritual self-discovery – a journey free of dogma or attachment to any particular belief system. A ground-breaking book, it offers clear and practical tools for sacred living, including over 40 exercises and meditations, in-depth chakra exploration, personal stories, and powerful techniques for heightening intuitive skills. ON BECOMING A 21ST-CENTURY MYSTIC is your personal guidebook for spiritual living in the new millennium.”

    My friend asked me why mystical consciousness is an option for common folks now, not just a few masters. Ken Wilber has done an amazing job of helping us recognize the stages of consciousness. He used colors to help us understand the way we think. Information has changed the way we view the world. We see how connected everything is. What we think/say/do affects the whole.

    The mystical me realizes there is no OTHER.

    “And therefore, all of those for whom authentic transformation has deeply unseated their souls must, I believe, wrestle with the profound moral obligation to shout form the heart—perhaps quietly and gently, with tears of reluctance; perhaps with fierce fire and angry wisdom; perhaps with slow and careful analysis; perhaps by unshakable public example—but authentically always and absolutely carries a a demand and duty: you must speak out, to the best of your ability, and shake the spiritual tree, and shine your headlights into the eyes of the complacent. You must let that radical realization rumble through your veins and rattle those around you.

    Alas, if you fail to do so, you are betraying your own authenticity. You are hiding your true estate. You don’t want to upset others because you don’t want to upset your self. You are acting in bad faith, the taste of a bad infinity.

    Because, you see, the alarming fact is that any realization of depth carries a terrible burden: those who are allowed to see are simultaneously saddled with the obligation to communicate that vision in no uncertain terms: that is the bargain. You were allowed to see the truth under the agreement that you would communicate it to others (that is the ultimate meaning of the bodhisattva vow). And therefore, if you have seen, you simply must speak out. Speak out with compassion, or speak out with angry wisdom, or speak out with skillful means, but speak out you must.

    And this is truly a terrible burden, a horrible burden, because in any case there is no room for timidity. The fact that you might be wrong is simply no excuse: You might be right in your communication, and you might be wrong, but that doesn’t matter. What does matter, as Kierkegaard so rudely reminded us, is that only by investing and speaking your vision with passion, can the truth, one way or another, finally penetrate the reluctance of the world. If you are right, or if you are wrong, it is only your passion that will force either to be discovered. It is your duty to promote that discovery—either way—and therefore it is your duty to speak your truth with whatever passion and courage you can find in your heart. You must shout, in whatever way you can.”
    ― Ken Wilber, One Taste

  • Feel Better Brownie

    Sacred Stories

    It had been one of those mornings where she just couldn’t hold the emotions in. She was wiping away tears as she sat in the drive-through at Panera.

    When she got to work, in addition to the breakfast she had ordered, this was in her bag:

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • A Banner Week

    Many of you already have received an update on the excision of a melanoma on my low back last week. (See Photoshop Fun.) The excision went well. This was a mole that turned into melanoma, it had not come from anywhere else and had not spread. The doctor said if we were talking stages, they could call this a stage zero. I can’t see it, but when the bandages are changed the report is it looks good. It itches, so I know it is healing. Stitches come out on May 14. I will have a full-body scan that day and every three months for the next two years just to be sure this is the end of that.

    Last evening we received news from our daughter, Stacey, that Doug’s (our son-in-law’s) father is having foot amputation today with additional surgery to remove the leg just below the knee on Monday. This is due to uncontrolled diabetes. Love and prayers for Doug and his dad, Jim, and all the family. We all call Jim “Pops.”

    A friend lost her twelve year-old golden retriever, Chaco. His was a miraculous life as he was born with megaesophagus. According to Chaco’s owner, “Megaesophagus is a fatal disease where the esophagus does not have nerves to signal peristalsis; therefore food stays in the esophagus which stretches until it’s as useless as a worn out rubber band. He was also born on Valentines Day with a heart full of love and dogged determination. Chaco survived; endured; stabilized and then flourished with his condition.” Special diet, timely exercise, and hours of Tellington TTouch™ each day allowed them to have an amazing life together. Chaco will be missed but remembered and loved….

    The following paragraph is from my meditation teacher. Barbara is deaf and her husband of 50 years had a massive stroke in March. He is in a rehab facility and she is living alone for the first time since losing her hearing several decades ago. Eighteen months ago, Sulu, her then 14-year-old collie/ hearing-ear service dog died of old age. On Sunday, May 6, she will add a new member to her family. I think her post will inspire you to keep on keeping on whatever is going on:

    I was blessed to look on the internet at collie kennels in Michigan, and turned up Banner in western Michigan, a-just-2-year-old tricolor collie (like all our past dogs). His owner, who bred him, sells all the dogs she breeds, maybe 6 or 8 litters a year. She had kept him to become a stud dog in her small kennel because she felt he was so special; beautiful, intelligent, eager to please, sweet and loving. When I approached her about whether she had a mature dog, she said maybe; she took a week to consider since she had planned to keep him, then wrote to me that I could buy him.

    She said, “Your need is great. He will be a blessing to you.”

    The breeder went on to say it was a blessing to Banner too, not just to be a pet, but to live a life of such service and connection to Barbara and her husband. Barbara and her husband will celebrate their Golden Anniversary on Saturday, May 5.

    It seems life can be strewn with challenges almost daily. However, we are always at choice about our attitude.

    This week, like every other week, will have sunshine and rain.

    These moments, like no others, will be here and then gone.

    This life, like all lives, matters.

    We too can experience joy and blessing even in turbulent waters.

    Earlier in the week, I was playing solitaire while waiting for Lowe’s to deliver my new washer and dryer. I usually win, so was a bit surprised and annoyed that I lost three games in a row. I switched to a game where you try to get every card in the deck turned up before the fourth King. After “winning” that gave, I noticed the King of Hearts was still in the box!

    Any time you feel like you might be losing the game of life, make sure you are playing with a full deck. Remember every card matters….