Tag: SCS Matters

  • Wheelchair

    Sacred Stories

    Late one evening, returning from a visit to her son’s, she lost her balance getting out of the car and into the house and fell. Thankfully, her daughter was with her, visiting from out of state.

    She had a pretty severe skin tear on the underside of her forearm and they determined it needed medical attention.

    A long covered walkway led to the entrance of the emergency room, and she was relieved to see a wheelchair had been left there. She got into a room quickly, and she received excellent care. She knew she had been guided to come. The wound needed 11 stitches and medical glue!

    A couple of hours later, leaving the hospital, she sat in the wheelchair waiting for her daughter to go get the car, and chatted with the nurse, “We were so impressed that you leave a wheelchair here for folks to use when they come in.”

    The nurse looked baffled. “What wheelchair?” she inquired.

    “This one that I am in was sitting right here when we pulled up. We assumed it had been left here for the next patient to arrive.”

    “No. We do not ever leave a wheelchair out here,” clarified the nurse.

    Well, if that is the case, then this particular wheelchair had obviously been left especially for her!


  • Bible!

    Sacred Stories

    She had been scrolling on a local Facebook “Memories” page, and happened to see her deceased husband’s writing!

    A woman had purchased a bible — with this inscription — at an antique store. She had gone onto Ancestry.com and posted the photo on the local page hoping to find the family. What kindness and generosity! The woman who had purchased the bible also delivered it.

    The treasured memory found its way home…

    Social media can have its issues, but there are also blessings. This one might even be considered a God Moment!

    This bible, in German, had belonged to her mother-in-law!


  • Specimen of Transformation

    I woke up this morning thinking about a beautiful woman, who happens to be the daughter of a dear friend of mine. A remarkable feat of love — her going this past weekend to visit her biological father on his deathbed to assure him of forgiveness for his abuse.

    That same woman is undergoing surgery today.

    This is how I came to ponder the life cycle of a butterfly.



    Amazing words leapt off the page as I read under the heading: Do butterflies remember being caterpillars?

    The study showed that memory, and therefore the nervous system, stays during the complex transformation from the caterpillar to the adult moth.

    So while a moth or butterfly may not remember being a caterpillar, it can remember experiences it learned as a caterpillar

    This woman’s life cycle as a daughter is no less remarkable. While her nervous system has stayed during the complex transformation — so she remembers the experiences she learned — she is definitely no longer the victim of abuse.

      “I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.

      “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

      ~ J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

    Just like the butterfly, we can remember our experiences and benefit from the learning even as we are being transformed. My meditation teacher speaks a lot about our collective transformation (from negative polarity to positive polarity) and assures us we are moving to a stage of consciousness where we not only learn from our own experience, but we are truly transformed by the collective learning.

    Becoming a Teacher to Others

    When you begin to work with other people as a teacher, that is a very dangerous point. Unless you are willing to learn from students—unless you regard yourself as a student and the students as your teacher—you cease to be a true teacher. You only impart your experience of what you’ve been taught, a package deal. And having done that, there’s no more to say—unless you repeat yourself again and again.

    Excerpted from: “The Bardo of Meditation” in Transcending Madness: The Experience of the Six Bardos, by Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche (page 63)

    Last evening, her mother and I were talking about how hard it is for all those facing surgeries during the pandemic. I had been to my primary care physician for the first time since the pandemic earlier in the day. EVERYTHING is so much harder.

    People are dropped off at the door.

    Family has to wait elsewhere.

    When notified, they pick up the patient.

    I was remembering ALL of the support I received when I had the abdominal mass removed in November, 2012. A friend came with John and me. She stayed with him until the mother of this remarkable woman arrived to relieve them. I had a revolving door of caregivers.

    It was not just easier on me. Every act of support and care provided to me by this “care team” was support for those employed to care for me.

    My heart was filled to overflowing as I watched the extra effort everyone at the doctor’s office had to take to make sure we are all safe. My doctor’s husband is an ER doc. She expressed her hope that humanity will pull together so we will all be able to enjoy communal life again. She said, “I am so looking forward to being able to hug you when I walk you out.”

    This admitted “white-coat syndrome” sufferer had a blood pressure reading of 122/70 in that atmosphere of love. That, too, is no easy feat.

    Today, I bow to each beautiful specimen of transformation.

  • Sea Shell

    Sacred Stories

    He had just spent 8 days on a meditation retreat that ordinarily would have taken place on the Emerald Isle, North Carolina, beach. The meditation teacher would ordinarily gather broken shells and give one to each participant. Due to the pandemic, this retreat was held on Zoom.


    Their “virtual” opening exercise was sharing a screen and looking at many, many broken shells. The Vipassana and Pure Awareness practice taught him about accessing the light within the darkness. Learning to see the beauty within the brokenness.

    The following week as he was still processing his experience, he sent this message to a new friend he had met on retreat:

    “I live no where near the coast. 3 hours away…. and look what I find!”


  • Thank You, Teacher

    “Wisdom tells me I am nothing.
    Love tells me I am everything.
    And between the two my life flows.”

    ~ Nisargadatta Maharaj

    I am still in a lot of process, triggered again and again by the teachings and the practice on the 8-day Emerald Ilse retreat, a process fueled by an intention to wake up to wisdom. The process, and the practice, is not done for a personal self, it is housed in the concept that there is no personal “I” and all is done in service to all beings. The goal is literally to wake up the collective consciousness called humanity.

    My poetry writers group (Southern Circle) has been such a staggering catalyst for practice. After a strong triggering while I was still in Florida, (See: 3 Faces of Happiness) I have not been in attendance due to preparing to return home, traveling home, arriving and settling in, and then attending the retreat. Last evening when a text came through asking who was able to attend Southern Circle Poetry Group this morning, I chose not to respond.

    This morning I did more process — inner asking about whether or not I am to attend.


    You know there is no running away from anything.

    Wherever you go, there you are….

    “What is true about my attending Southern Circle?” II – The Inner Voice

      There are times in our lives when too many voices seem to be pulling us in this way and that. Our very confusion in such situations is a reminder to seek silence and centering within. Only then are we able to hear our truth.

    “What is true about my not attending Southern Circle?” King of Water – Healing

      Be aware of your wound. Don’t help it to grow, let it be healed; and it will be healed only when you move to the roots. The less the head, the more the wound will heal; with no head there is no wound. Live a headless life.

    As I was preparing to draw the two cards from the Osho Zen Tarot deck, I heard that I was also to draw one single card from the Angelic Messenger deck. This message would be true regardless of attending or not.

    A Rejuvenation Card, number 35 “Change” was the card was from Angelic Messenger Cards: A Divination System for Self-Discovery.

      Whatever comes to you can be a significant opportunity for spiritual growth, whether it was intended as that or not. Your larger life goal is to grow in grace and to find union with the divine Presence through love.

    After reading all three of these cards, I used the “library angel” process of just randomly opening a book and seeing what guidance or message is being divinely sent to you. The Daily Word randomly opened to May 21 (one month from today). FYI- I do not have the March/April edition because those do not get forwarded while we are in Florida.

      Sometimes I may become so immersed in dispiriting practices and behaviors that I become blind to the blessings and beauty in front of me. When I engage the world with love instead of fear, I more easily behold the Christ within myself and all others.

    At the retreat, we received Darshan with “The Mother” (See: Remembering Wholeness/Darshan With the Mother). Each individual receives a message of divine wisdom. The message that came for me was an expansion of the previous message to a dear friend, Dorothyann.

    Dorothyann:

    So much light and love pouring out of your radiant heart. You are getting much better at not getting caught in the story of “not good enough.” It still comes, of course it still comes.

    This week when that story arises, would you just bow to it and say, “I do not accept that, no thank you. Shhhhh….”

    Don’t try to drown it out, just, “No thank you.”

    Right here along with the one who still has some belief about not good enough, where is the radiant one? Can you touch that radiant, open-hearted aspect of yourself — and know this is the true self.

    I love you and I am helping you.

    Debra:

    I love you. Here I am going to have an opportunity to spare a few words because you heard what I said to Dorothyann.

    “Shhhhh…. Thank you, Teacher, but no thank you. I am not taking that into me.”

    Remember who you are. Remember your light and loving heart. That’s all you need to know.

    I love you and I am helping you.

  • Retha’s Visit

    Sacred Stories

    It had been an intense retreat. She was grieving so many recent losses…

    Her best friend had passed with ALS. Her brother passed suddenly of a heart attack while climbing the stairs to visit their mother. Then her mother passed from the coronavirus — a virus that prevented her from being able to attend her mother’s funeral.

    And now, she was navigating this estrangement from her siblings.

    She had been sitting all week, doing Vipassana, being with the pain while wanting freedom from the suffering.

    She saw a small plastic picture frame, face-down on the chair. Picking it up, turning it over, she saw it was a drawing of a fish. A hand-made thank you card from a friend. The words read: Gratitude for all your compassionate support.



    The card was signed, “Vipassana love, Retha.”

    Carefully lettered up the right side of the card, “Emerald Isle 2019.” They had both attended the Emerald Isle retreat last year. Seeing Retha’s card was such a powerful gift!

    Retha’s visit was especially welcome as Retha had also passed….

    “Whatever has the nature to arise, has the nature to cease, and is not me nor mine.”

  • Hand-in-Hand

    With all that takes place in our lives,
    it can sometimes be easy to overlook the fact that
    we’re part of something greater than ourselves —
    a collective consciousness, the Universe, a greater cause.

    ~ Daily Om

    The March 2021 skies over Pine Island, near Ft. Myers, in Southwest Florida (winter home of this snowbird) demonstrate a very important fact: light is present within darkness.


    During the past few weeks of “the season,” instead of the usual blue skies, the horizon was often dotted with dark, billowy, ominous-looking bumps of clouds with amazing streams of light simultaneously peeking out. Some clear, some bright, some pinkish-orange enough to resemble remnants of a dwindling campfire…. Those glowing embers that you only see late, late—late enough that you think you should give up and go to bed. Despite the chill, you are drawn to sit where you are as a witness to what is dying.

    For the past three years I have been in a study group looking at the spiritual phenomena of light within the darkness.

    I am attending and helping Zoom host a meditation retreat this week.


    As I was doing walking meditation early, I saw a black stone on the sidewalk. I noticed it but did not pick it up. Continuing, about half a block up, also on the sidewalk, I found a white stone. Neither of these were located with anything similar nearby. Seeing the white stone, I looped back and also picked up the black one. Light in the darkness.


    ((Confession, this is an article scheduled for publication in May. But the time for me to share it with you is NOW.))

    Every religion, Western and Eastern philosophy, and each individual artistic world view provides commentary on this subject of light in the darkness.

      The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:5

      Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness. Anne Frank

      I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars. Og Mandino

      We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. Plato

      Don’t fight darkness – bring the light, and darkness will disappear. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

    In an audio presentation, Living and Dying, Ram Dass says about his work with people as they were dying: I watch some people who are able to open to the new stage and say, “Ah, so….” and those people don’t suffer. And then I watch somebody who looks at the shoes in the closet that they’ll never wear again and sits around feeling sorry because they can’t wear the shoes anymore. They’re holding onto the model of who they were a moment ago. A moment ago, they were somebody wearing those shoes, and now they are not wearing those shoes.

    I have been wondering about a similar phenomenon related to the pandemic. It is undeniable that the coronavirus has brough considerable darkness. (Another of our friends passed the day I was writing this article, in Florida, and then a 42-year-old relative, father-of-five, in Michigan.)

    Have you also been able to see the light this global pandemic has brought to you over this last year?

    My online search of “benefits of the pandemic” produced a lot of evidence of light within the darkness. Reduction of the carbon foot print made every list I read. Improved health and cost-savings from less eating out and more home-cooked meals was another. Parents spending more time with children; partners having more time together; time for reflection and opportunity to reevaluate your life. Within each of these is both light and darkness.

    It has been said about picking up a stick: you pick up both ends.

    What Buddhism calls wisdom mind is the recognition that only light has ultimate reality. Niels Bohr, a Danish physicist who made foundational contributions to understanding atomic structure and quantum theory, says you do not go into a room and look for a “dark” switch. The switch you are searching for is the “light” switch. Of course, with that switch you are either turning the light on or off….

    Ram Dass wrote of a friend’s passing.

    “Well, you know what I know. Probably I won’t see you again in this body, so, stay conscious.” And I left.

    Her husband called me the next morning at 7:30, and said she died during the night.

    And he said her dying was just like ink being poured into water. It was just expanding outward. He said, “I came away from her death with one of the deepest experiences of peace I’d ever had in my life.”

    We are a collective witness to the dark and the light, to what is being born and what is dying.

    Some individuals have hated working from home. Some students have been miserable with online schooling. Some of us have grown calmer, others catastrophically chaotic. Attitudes reflect the moment-by-moment position of the light switch.

    Less and less frequently do I hear people yearning for things to get back to normal, but often people express specifics of what they are eager to resume. I made up a set of rules for “distant dominoes” with good friends that live down the street from us in Michigan and also winter on the same street in Florida.

    While in Florida, the four of us drove across the state to receive our first (and second) vaccines. We expressed excitement to once again safely play dominoes by the original Basham house rules, sitting around a table touching the tiles. We agreed we will all likely needed a refresher….

    This snowbird gleefully anticipated being able to meet our great-grandson, Jackson (born December 28), on our trek north. I could almost smell his baby breath. Almost feel the weight of him. Almost hear his coo….

    *Note – It was exquisite!


    Awareness of the collective “benefit” of our collective glee, relief, appreciation, and joy almost takes my breath away….

    Just as those clouds on the Florida horizon revealed the truth of light within the darkness, we are a collective witness to the dying of what was and the collective welcoming of what is.

    We have no need to fret over an unworn pair of shoes.

    We can join together and blissfully walk barefoot hand-in-hand on the beach….

  • 3 Faces of Happiness

    “No matter how someone is acting,
    they want to be happy.”
    ~ Lion’s Roar

    Jerry Ashmore, senior teacher at Empty Circle Zen group shared this opening quote in his dharma talk this morning. As an aside, if you are looking for a wonderful Zen sitting with teachings, this group meets on Zoom twice per week: Tuesday evening and Saturday morning. I have really been grateful for this addition to my practice.

    Following Jerry’s talk, my search for “happiness quotes” showed 734,000,000 hits.

    This is a very important reminder. More meaningful in my personal experience this week that most.

    I sent a text message to my poetry writing group. “I am going to go for a bike ride instead of writing this morning. I need some grounding.” I shared some of the details (not pretty) about what was going on, and assured them I would log on in time for the update of an important project one of the women is currently working on. Her project is huge, and we all qualify as midwives….

    Lots of people find balance by exercising. Many find their center when they can get out in nature. For me, biking is a blessed bonus of both….

    Logging on after my ride, I was surprised to see one of the women in the group on line that had sent word earlier saying that she would not be there.

    “Deb, tell us how you are, and how things are with your _____ _____.” (She named the stressful situation. One of the other women in the group told me later that she had filled this woman in since she had not been expected to attend and, therefore, had not been included in my earlier text message.)

    As I began sharing, the woman who had asked me to share interrupted, “Deb, just the short version. We know you are grieving.”

    Now, admittedly, I have had some triggers with this group before.

    Whereever I go, there I am.


    “There is no short version,” I responded, and muted my mic.

    Humans can’t touch unconditional love sufficiently to extend it fully to all all of the time.

    Jerry said this morning, “That is where getting to non-hate is the wisdom practice.”

    I did more than get to non-hate. I have been so focused on something else that I offered a pretense to presence. As I forgave myself, I was able to not take her action as a personal attack.

    I was also able to do more than get to non-hate with the situation I had been challenged with for the past several weeks. The word that falls from my lips about the others involved most easily is: unskillful.

    Empathy does not show up for me in my top five in the Clifton Strengths Assessment. People who are really strong in empathy “feel what others are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through the others’ eyes and share their perspectives.”

    I have come closer to a heart of compassion through decades of mindfulness (Vipassana) practice.

    To be mindful means to be aware. It’s the energy that knows what is happening in the present moment. Lifting our arms and knowing that we’re lifting our arms—that’s mindfulness, mindfulness of our action.

    When we breathe in and we know we’re breathing in, that’s mindfulness.

    When we make a step and we know that the steps are taking place, we are mindful of the steps. Mindfulness is always mindfulness of something.

    It’s the energy that helps us be aware of what is happening right now and right here—in our body, in our feelings, in our perceptions, and around us. ~ 5 Practices for Nurturing Happineess

    Her comment was unskillful, but my response was unskillful as well. The unskilled volley left us all raw. Hell, I was already raw. For all I know, so was she…

    That is the trick, isn’t it?

    Not even a person Clifton says is endowed with empathy truly sees the world through another person’s eyes. The stressful situation has been stressful precisely because we don’t see the situation the same way.

    Jerry asked us to ponder some questions about happiness:

    What is happiness? What does happiness mean for me? Is happiness just pleasure? Is it joy? Can I be happy without a sense of well-being? Is that possible? Can I be happy without a sense of purpose in life?

    We cannot truly speak about happiness in the Buddhist way without a nod to suffering.

      Being able to enjoy happiness doesn’t require that we have zero suffering. In fact, the art of happiness is also the art of suffering well. When we learn to acknowledge, embrace, and understand our suffering, we suffer much less. Not only that, but we’re also able to go further and transform our suffering into understanding, compassion, and joy for ourselves and for others.

      One of the most difficult things for us to accept is that there is no realm where there’s only happiness and there’s no suffering.

    I am not sure what the 3 faces of happiness are.

    Perhaps to forgive again, and again, and again….

  • Muy agradecida. Muy agradecido.

    How can I wish for myself
    what I do not wish for everybody,
    including those I think of
    as my worst enemies?

    ~ Aaron

    Another drive across the state of Florida, this time for our second vaccine, and this time we know where we are going. We are going to an ALL Spanish-speaking pharmacy near Miami. (See: A Dios Mio )

    I have been transcribing Ram Dass speaking about Living and Dying.

    So, now once you want to be free—at first you want to hang out with people that keep you high—later, you want to confront the fires that catch you, you want to purify through those fires. You just find yourself drawn towards the things that are still catching you, so that you can get to the point where you can be in them but not lost in them. Where you can keep your space even when you’re in them.

    And dying is one of the big ones that sucks everybody in, and so part of the work is developing the ability to be with somebody that’s dying, or be dying yourself, and stay very clear and very present because those that are from religions that focus on the moment of death, which is most of the religions that have reincarnation in them, see life as a preparation for the moment of death

    Many people in this culture don’t want to talk about death. They resist aging. They want an easy way out of something that is inescapable. So, there is suffering….

    Our Canadian friends, Davey and Eli, had to leave Florida and go back to Canada or risk losing their medical coverage because he had been hospitalized with diverticulitis. The night before they left, we rang their doorbell, stepped back, and when Davey opened the door, John and I began to sing: Davey, Davey, give us your answer true, we’re half crazy, all for the love of you. Courtney’s won’t be a stylish marriage, without you there in your carriage, and we’ll be switched if she’ll be hitched without Davey and Eli there, too.

    His eyes met mine…. and he said softly, “The best part of your singing was getting to see your smile.”

    Davey has not seen me without a mask for over a year now.

    Dass says any time there is suffering, it’s a clue to where your mind is holding.

    My mind is holding to the question of how to see/be with my family (and meet our new great-grandson, Jackson) who are all in Tennessee. It is right on the way from Florida to Michigan. Visiting with them has always been what made leaving Florida something to be embraced. We saw Stacey and Doug and Adam and Brad and Christina briefly on the way down, but we have not seen our grand-daughter, Courtney, since November 2019. We have yet to meet the baby in person. We long for things to be normal again. To see smiling faces. To eat at the same table. To touch the same playing cards as I win 500 Rummy….

    We will do what we can to help us all be able to gather again without fear of getting or giving a virus that humans don’t yet have herd immunity toward. A virus that ended the life of our grand-daughter’s other grandpa. Paw Paw was in the hospital with the coronavirus and he did not get to meet Jackson.

    How can I wish for myself what I do not wish for everybody?

    Dass says when Mahatma Gandhi was dying he walked out into his yard, an assassin shot him three times. Our image of an assassin in America – we think of the Kennedy brothers, Martin Luther King, always there is horror and violence connected with it, and we imagine (if we can the imagine) that the moment someone is shot they are stunned or confused. Gandhi had just as much time as the others when he was shot, but when he was shot and falls over he just says, “Ram.” He goes out on the name of God.

    We, too, go out on the name of God. We will again drive to Florida’s East Coast.

    And for that we are very grateful….

    Muy agradecida. Muy agradecido.

  • He’s in Your Heart

    Sacred Stories

    Her granddaughter was only 6 months old when her husband had passed.

    Visiting, now four years later, the young child looked into her eyes and said, “Pappa is never coming back.”

    Their eyes locked, hers filled with tears.

    This precious child placed a hand on each of her cheeks and said, “But, he’s in your heart.”

    Out of the mouths of babes….