Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: SCS Matters

  • Toll Tale

    Sacred Stories

    Driving the hour-plus to their seasonal home, no toll lanes were manned when she came over the bridge!!!

    She later learned since Covid the bridge does not have toll attendants. Drivers must either have a transponder for auto-pay or wait for an invoice to be sent.

    She logged on to SunPass and saw the “pay toll by license plate number with no invoice” feature. Her license plate was not there but it said plates might not update for 10 days. Day after day after day she logged on and checked, hoping to avoid the service fee associated with processing of an invoice. Weeks later she wrote to customer service explaining the situation and received an email saying the case was closed.

    There was nothing to do but wait. She finally received an in the mail — $2 toll plus a $3 service fee!

    She called customer service to dispute the service fee.

    “I do not live in Florida, I am just wintering here. I crossed the bridge on the way back from the hospital after my husband had a surprise open-heart surgery. I had no idea there would not be an attendant. I logged on to the website and it said there would be an option to pay without an invoice but that never happened. I filed a complaint but received an email saying the case was closed.”

    “What website did you log on to?” he asked.

    Somewhat indignant, she said she had no idea that bridge was operated by a local entity!

    “You were driving and you noticed the one name but not the other. Please don’t call yourself ignorant. And you were under a lot of stress. How is your husband doing? That is the most important thing.” His voice was so kind.

    “He is doing well, thank you.” She choked back tears.

    “I am so glad for that. My father also had surprise open-heart surgery but he did not make it….”

    He went on to tell her how she could come to the toll service office and they could wave the fee. She said it was not practical to drive that far to save such a small amount of money.

    Suddenly recognizing that the error was never about money, tears came as compassion welled up in her heart for this man and his family.

    Her husband who had overheard the phone conversation, commenting, “You paid $3 for a sacred story,” as they shared a few tears over this tender toll tale.

    Knowing they were so very fortunate, with a grateful heart she wrote out the check.

  • Rough Edges

    February has long been celebrated as a month of romance, and St. Valentine’s Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition.

    A few days ago (asking if we are to pursue having Dr. Deutsch be John’s cardiologist) I drew The Lovers Osho Zen Tarot: It is time to refresh your mind and heart and the pure fragrance can spread.

    The idea of a refreshed mind and heart spreading its pure fragrance is somewhat foreign for a lot of us. Much (if not most) of the time, humans live from moment to moment on autopilot. I often observe myself reacting out of habit rather than from awareness and presence of mind.

    Nonviolent Communication training evolved from Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg’s quest to find a way of rapidly disseminating much needed peacemaking skills.

    Growing up in an inner–city Detroit neighborhood Dr. Marshall Rosenberg was confronted daily with various forms of violence. Wanting to explore the causes of violence and what could be done to reduce violence, he chose to study clinical psychology and received his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from the University of Wisconsin in 1961. In 1966 he was awarded diplomat status in clinical psychology from the American Board of Examiners in Professional Psychology. (See About Marshall B. Rosenberg)

    Nonviolent communication creates a space for attention and respect in every moment.

    This was all very much on my mind as Stacey and I accompanied John on one of his cardio rehab walks a few days ago. We went by one of the neighbors where a big party was happening. Cars and carts, bikes, and people everywhere.

    As we went by, Stacey almost touched the guy who lives there. She called out, “I thought you were going to hand me a beer!”

    I reacted.

    I said I would prefer not to engage the guy who lives there. I asked if she had noticed the 3×5 foot “Come and Take It” flag flying on his golf cart. The flag has a picture of an M4 AR15 machine gun on it.

    She said I was judging.

    I was.

    Nonviolent Communication teaches a lot about being able to observe without judging. The four foundations of NVC are:

    Observe without judging. …
    Express feelings. …
    Express and clarify your needs. …
    Express specific requests based on your feelings and needs.

    Stacey has a carry permit. She is a staunch “Second Amendment Advocate.” (Her words! She changed it to second-amendment supporter.)

    Interestingly, one of the most powerful lessons of life reveals itself for me as Stacey and I are doing jigsaw puzzles together. WE SEE THINGS SO DIFFERENTLY.

    Our most recent puzzle demonstrated these differences and the COLLECTIVE strength that grows from them more clearly than any puzzle we have ever done together.

    There were some fascinating “odd” shapes.

    Very complex, very interrelated, very unique.


    It was challenging.

    It was very unique in that the pieces did not connect in a traditional way, they would just rest against each other.

    Stacey was challenged in the areas that were more landscape in style; I was challenged in the areas where she would say, “This is the cat,” and I was not even aware we had a cat in this puzzle! It would often take a half-dozen pieces to be assembled around a unique piece before it was clear where that piece itself went.

    Humans are very complex, very interrelated, and very unique.

    I can’t help but dream of our collective humanity being able to raise our consciousness sufficiently that we smooth our rough edges so our pure fragrance can spread….

  • “Random” Screen Saver

    Sacred Stories

    She was attending a mindfulness meditation class. This particular evening the teacher was leading them in a guided meditation.

    Imagine yourself in a large, flower-strewn meadow. There thousands of wonderful flowers growing, with beautiful scent. On one side of you there’s a bubbling stream, about 70 feet wide moving over rocks. Across the way, on the other side is a dark woods. Here, a nice expanse – 70 yards or so – of meadow, sloping down to the water, and beyond the meadow, a steep hill rising up, pockmarked with caves. You live in these caves. You are comfortable there. Now, you are sitting in the meadow, the scent of the flowers filling your nostrils. The sun is warming your body.

    The following morning as she booted up her computer to transcribe the meditation for the group the “random” screen saver that appeared depicted the very idyllic scene the teacher had guided them to the previous evening!

    Perhaps the best verse that exemplifies Synchronicity in the Bible is found in Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good…”

  • One Soul

    Sacred Stories

    The online prayer group had been praying for a young healthcare worker who had been airlifted from the local hospital to a University Hospital a few hours away.

    An update and request popped in: The young healthcare worker is doing well with the new machine, the only slight issue, which they have already helped, is getting her blood pressure right on it.

    Today, asking prayers for her husband who is (understandably) feeling worn out with the stress.

    At the moment she heard the message pop in, she was reading from Jean Houston about the ONE SOUL life view:

    “What would change if you felt the presence of souls surrounding you?

    Imagine what it means to step into the dynamic flow of energy that can be simultaneously experienced as your individual consciousness and as a living body of souls.

    What insights would become available and how would your actions add to this energetic field that moves in and through all life?”

  • Scan

    Sacred Stories

    She sent a text to her sister-in-law:

      “We know he has has his test today. Last night we were with friends playing dominoes with friends and their granddaughter was in a medical crisis. She was escalating. I said had just tuned into a Hay House presentation with Kyle Gray about asking angels for help. I had a strong sense this young woman’s maternal grandmother, who is now in spirit but had been a pharmacist in her life, was there to help. The message went from very agitated to texting, ‘I need a hug.’”

    Her sister-in-law replied, “He is being scanned right now.”

    She wrote back, “Of course he is…”

    “Thank you, Angels, for revealing to me what I need to know.” ~ Kyle Gray

  • I Need a Hug

    Sacred Stories

    That afternoon she had watched a seminar with Kyle Gray about the importance of our asking angels for help. During dinner with friends, a string of text messages revealed amplification with the friend’s granddaughter.

    “Ask the angels for help,” she encouraged her friend, as she received such a strong sense that the maternal grandmother was there helping.

    Boom!

    “I need a hug,” wrote the granddaughter.

    The following morning more encouraging news came from the household.

    You will likely agree we have nothing to lose by asking the angels for help. We all have loved ones in spirit. And, after all, isn’t Jesus an angel? Buddha? Thich Nhat Hanh?

    Kyle says, “It’s not how big the miracle is, it is simply how much room you make for it.”


  • What Comes Next?

    Certain times of life and/or experiences of life seem AMPLIFIED.

    In Hard Pivot: Embrace Change. Find Purpose. Show Up Fully. Apolo Ohno says every person will have an experience that changes their life forever.

    This has certainly been the case with John’s surprise open-heart surgery.

    In Hard Pivot, Ohno suggests we make the best of these times by practicing.

      Gratitude: A daily practice that lets us maintain perspective, cultivate empathy, and alleviate stress

      Giving: Selflessly giving our time, attention, and resources to others

      Grit: How to develop mental stamina, resilience, and toughness to persevere through hard times

      Gearing Up: Ways to prepare ourselves to meet challenges with flexibility and grace

      Go: Developing the courage to take risks, learn from success and failure, and come back stronger

    Ohno says clearly, “Though we can’t usually predict when we’ll need to reinvent ourselves, sticking to a daily practice will prepare us when we face our next big challenge.”

    One of the demonstrations of this is our walking practice. We began walking for health back in the 1980’s when we participated in “Dump Your Plump” with friends and members of Stevensville United Methodist Church. For the most part, walking has been a steady companion all of these years.

    While not as obviously directly impacting John’s recovery, our habit of spending less than we earned contributed to our being here in the sun and warm rather than in Michigan during white-out conditions today.

    This morning I baked cookies and John delivered some to our friend, Richie. Richie is supporting his wife as she undergoes chemo. I wrote on the package: A guy should be fortified while he is supporting the wife he loves.

    As I am writing this post, I am listening to Kyle Gray’s live event titled: GIFTS AND GUIDANCE FROM YOUR ANGELS. The gratitude you feel stimulates a light in the middle of your chest until this light washes over and through your physical body. You are encouraged to bask in it. It has the capacity to shine in darkness. Call that light up and out, for the greatest good for all.

    What comes next may not be obvious from every point of view, but perhaps these guardian angels have a broader perspective.

    Kyle is speaking of cutting the cords by speaking your intention, “I am the keeper of my mind and my body. Wherever love is present, fear is a stranger, and love is present in me.”

    He says when you are feeling safe, affirm that by saying, “I am safe. I am free.”

    Other words might be used to speak about this. Without a doubt, spiritual or esoteric practices speak of angels. So do some religions. Angels may be what native peoples call “ancestors.”

    “Before you were in this body, before you were in this lifetime, you were ONE with divine love.”

    Kyle shares opening of many spiritual experiences growing up, including personal close-encounters with angels.

    “You have felt called,” Kyle goes on.

    Perhaps you have felt called to spirituality, religion, art, nature.

    “Your angels will always speak to you in the language most familiar to you,” Kyle assures us.

    “When it comes to your having your direct connection with your angels, it is important to pray first not last,” he continues.

    “Instead of saying, please angels help me with this, pray, thank you angels for helping me.”

    Sue Mierau shared a gorgeous snow photo today on Facebook.

    “Don’t just pray when things go wrong,” we are reminded.

    “When you are in prayer, make it a space of gratitude.”

    There is beauty in every season of our life, whether the weather is sunny or snowy.

    What comes next after summer is autumn.

    What comes next after autumn is winter.

    What comes next after winter is spring.

    It occurs to me that what comes next after gratitude is the balance of Ohno’s list: giving, grit, gearing up, and go.

  • Very Timely

    Sacred Stories

    Aaron’s “Thought for Today” was very timely.

      Practice with as much love and attention as possible, for yourselves and all beings. Your presence here at a retreat is such a gift. Some of you may be thinking, ‘I am leaving my family. I’m taking time away from those who need me.’ They need you much more awake and enlightened than they need you crabby and confused. Use this week well to find the love and wisdom in your heart so that you can bring it fully into your lives.

    The week-long Healing Workshop was starting that morning….

    She wrote to a friend who is involved in the materials: “The retreat starts today and I am VERY curious if the way Aaron’s Daily Quotes get selected are still random or if that has changed. In ways too deep for words, it is important for me to know the truth about this.”

    Her friend responded: “I know! Can you believe it?? What are the odds? The program is certainly random, and it seems unlikely anyone would be able to override it very easily or would think of this quote, to do so. Maybe Spirit pushed this one forth! Only they know; you could ask Barbara/Aaron. She probably noticed it also.”

    (Aaron’s Thought for Today is part of the program of Deep Spring Center for Meditation.)

  • Beautiful Eyes – Take 2

    Sacred Stories

    Yet another medication for her husband….

    The nurse practitioner answered her inquiry by saying, “After all he has gone through, it would be a huge mistake for him to not take this.”

    Almost mid-sentence, the nurse practitioner paused and gave her a compliment, “You have the most beautiful eyes.”

    The cashier who had prayed “May all your news today be good news” had used those exact words. That was the day they discovered her husband would be having open-heart surgery. (Previous post: See Cashier)

    She had been resistant to giving him this particular medication for months…. and she had not been giving it to her husband since he had been discharged from the hospital.

    The next morning the message was clear: All good news!

    That nurse practitioner had (albeit quite out of character) used those exact words as an invitation to come back into into trust.

  • Whether Or Not It Is Clear To You

    Today is Monday, January 24, 2022. I wrote in my journal:

    Dear Holy Spirit,

    Three weeks ago today, on January 3, 2022, John had CABAG (open-heart, quadruple by-pass surgery).

    That feels otherworldly.

    We continue to be gobsmacked by the OBVIOUS perfection of the unfolding of all of this.

    For example, his first morning having had an episode of pain in his chest lying down happened Tuesday, December 28, 2021 — the day Linda and Larry arrived across the street from us here on Pine Island. John felt OK, and went on to shuffleboard. Sciatica pain prevented him from helping unload their van. We went out for shrimp that night, with Linda and Larry and Nancy.

    That night John had a second episode, and Wednesday about noon I took him to convenient care; then on to the ER at Cape Coral Hospital. From there he was transferred by ambulance to HealthPark.

    And the rest, you know, is his story….

    Oh, that Stacey has a job that would allow her to come be with us.

    Oh, how we were protected from exposure to the Covid Omicron variant because Larry’s onset of symptoms occurred just before John was discharged from the hospital. Otherwise, we know we would have all been together.

    Oh, that the home health nurse assigned to us had car trouble and could not get here on Saturday, which resulted in our having met our Magical Maggie!

    Within the days (daze), there are so many more points of proof, but you get the gist of it.

    This week will be very busy:
    Tuesday, January 25, 2022 — post surgical visit with Dr. Cervantes
    Wednesday, January 26, 2022 — last home health visit with Maggie
    Thursday, January 27, 2022 — cardiac rehab orientation
    Friday, January 28, 2022 — post in-patient visit

    Whew!

    Daoism, sometimes spelled Taoism, comes from Ancient China. The concept of Wu Wei (going with the flow) teaches us that rather than fighting against the conditions in our lives, we can allow things to take their natural course.

    I love the musical version of Desiderata. Desiderata is a 1971 album by Les Crane with music by Broadway composer Fred Werner and concept and various lyrics by David C. Wilson. It is a spoken word album with sung refrains and instrumental accompaniment. This section speaks to Wu Wei:

      And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

    Through it all, we are so very grateful this happened when and where it did. Time and place were, and are, divinely guided.

    Perhaps, maybe likely; likely, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should —— it always is. Amen.