Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: Richard Bandler

  • Good Intentions

    It depends where you look.

    As I slide the drape back from the window this morning the sky to the west is very dark.

    I have been initiating conversation about the upcoming Presidential Election with John. For decades we have not spoken of such things, but it seems vital to be able to speak openly with others about things we see differently without fear and anger and denial.

    I was coming in off the porch when John was heading down the hall on his way to coffee with the guys at Roger’s. He asked what I was doing and I told him I had gone out and tried to get a photo of the western sky that was so black.

    My phone rang. It was John and I had a sense before I answered why he was calling, “If you look out the front window you will see the rainbow.”

    The sky has always been observed by humans. The earliest recorded meaning given to the rainbow is as a symbol of hope. For Christians and Hebrews, it appeared as proof of a covenant between God and all living creatures in the book of Genesis. The significance of a rainbow was also found in Chinese, Egyptian and Native American history.

    Sharing with a dear friend a bit later, I could see the rainbow as it related to this being a time of truly releasing disappointment around unmet expectations. For my friend, it was a dinner she wanted to prepare as a special gift for us. She considered it awful. It was very easy for me to see that her criticism was part of the pattern of judging the manifestation without looking at the loving intention.

    Our conversation led me to disappointment related to Holistic Alliance which we closed in 2005. She was able to say, “I think you are not looking at it clearly. I remember the joy I felt when I would walk through that door. And all of the people we helped. We were so ahead of our times….”

    We were both able bear witness to the amazing gifts that were given and the incredible love behind them. Richard (of NLP fame) Bandler would say that disappointment requires adequate pre-planning.

    I begin hearing the lyrics to the song Good Intentions, as it was sung by Randy Travis: “And I hear tell the road to hell is paved with good intentions. But mama my intentions were the best.”

    It depends where you look for information on issues like “open boarders” or “secure borders.” Or the “criminalization” or “decriminalization” of abortion. Even things like ethics or the lack-thereof in industry related to insurance or pharmaceuticals or financial management. It is a lot easier to talk about the problem/s than it is to sit with the insecurity of the overwhelming complexity of it all.

    Last evening as we played cards with Fred and his friend, Kay, I tried to express to John my view on a play he was choosing to make. He could not (or would not) see it the way I wanted him to, and he made the play as he wanted to make it. As it turned out, it likely cost us that hand.

    Often life is referred to as a game. The quote “Life is too important to be taken seriously” is attributed to Oscar Wilde. The quote is a paradox, as it seems contradictory at first. Wilde’s suggestion is that the more important something is, the more important it is not to take it seriously.

    Elbert Hubbard also said, “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”

    After Tuesday, November 5, 2024⁩, someone’s favored candidate will have lost and someone else’s favorite candidate will have won.

    Will you see disappointment or good intentions? Is it true that we can only see clearly when we see both? That it depends where you look?

    Praying we not miss the rainbows that come with the dark clouds.

    “Mama my intentions were the best”…. Praying we learn to be able to say this with honesty and confidence.

  • Our True Nature

    The past two days I have been attending an online intensive with a group of dedicated individuals. Most individuals are dedicated to something. This group is dedicated to opening to awareness, also called “Pure Mind.” This particular series has been meeting weekly for the past year-and-a-half. Many of this group have been studying together for well over ten years.

    Our teacher lovingly reminds us we are not trying to get somewhere or become something we are not. We are simply setting our intention to allow ourselves to experience the awareness that is already our true nature. This was the randomly selected though for the day that came yesterday:


    Deep Spring Center

    Thought for Today

    “These are the people to whom you must talk:

    your neighbors, your coworkers, your parents and children,

    beings with good intentions who want to offer positive polarity

    but also may still be so grounded in their fear

    that when something comes along and shakes them, they react.

    These are the ones who must begin to learn they have a choice,

    and if they react from fear and it causes harm,

    they are responsible.

    And you you who are edging beyond that neutrality,

    more grounded in your positive polarity,

    must be their teachers.”

    For the past 6 weeks I had been unsuccessful trying to purchase a Magic Eye 2020 Calendar. The Magic Eye website announced Walmart as the exclusive merchandiser, but the stores all listed the item as “out-of-stock.”

    A few days ago, I searched ONE more time. The Walmart my brother-in-law shops at while he winters here in Southwest Florida listed the calendar “in-stock.” I sent him a photo, asked if he would check the next time he was there, and now I am thrilled to have one in my possession.


    In the Gospel of Thomas, Patterson/Meyer translation, Jesus said, “The (Father’s) kingdom is like a person who had a treasure hidden in his field but did not know it. And [when] he died he left it to his [son]. The son [did] not know about it either. He took over the field and sold it. The buyer went plowing, [discovered] the treasure, and began to lend money at interest to whomever he wished.”

    One of our practices is simply to look at a tree. We are to notice the branches, and then notice the space between. We are to allow our attention to shift between these, knowing that both ARE: simultaneous existence moving in and out of our awareness.

    The Subtle Communication Systems (SCS) training that Joel P. Bowman and I developed and taught for twenty years included higher sense perception. SCS was a synergy of energy medicine (Healing Touch and Reiki) and NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming). Joel and I studied for many years with Richard Bandler, co-developer of NLP.

    A renowned Buddhist nun and meditation teacher from Thailand Joel and I met at a Bandler training in Orlando read our training manual and said, “Debra, this is a shortcut to enlightenment!”

    Students learned to observe the true nature of their subjective experience: every experience went in as visual, auditory, and kinesthetic stimuli simultaneously! Even if all you noticed was a loud sound, or a flash of bright light, your actual experience (and your internal representation of that experience) includes all of your senses. We played games to help us notice the sensory system we were least aware of.

    One day in class, Joel reached out and touched a locket worn by one of the students. He said, “I see an image of a blonde-haired girl, about 8 years old.”

    “That is who gave me this locket,” exclaimed the student.

    When Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right,” he was giving us a great gift. If you think you are not enlightened, you are right. If you think you are enlightened, you can be in the world with greater wisdom and kindness and awareness.

    Joel and I watched sooooo many individuals wake up to what was within them all along.

    I love the Magic Eye calendar! The easiest way to see the hidden images is to begin looking closely at what you can see. Hold the page close to your nose. Relax your vision: trying too hard makes it too hard. With your eyes relaxed, slowly pull the page away from your face. As you see the 3-D image, hold the page and let yourself enjoy how easy it is.

    Where was it when you could not see it? Right there. It already is. The branches and the space ARE.

    If you are working too hard trying, relax, let yourself see what is already there. You are a soul. Every individual is a precious child of god.

    You already are that which you seek.

    That is your true nature….

  • Upekka

    You have heard it said to be careful what you pray for. This past Tuesday evening, as our Dharma “Path of Clear Light” class was coming to an end, I asked for specific instructions around the practice of Upekka. Upekka is the Buddhist practice of equanimity.

    John Orr’s clarification of the Upekka practice, “All beings are heirs to their own karma. A person’s happiness or unhappiness is not dependent upon me but on their own actions and choices,” resulted in Barbara Brodsky’s offering thanks for him reminding her to keep that in mind related to her husband, Hal.

    Nothing in the teachings John shared, or Barbara’s comments, totally prepared me for the next few days of interactions with friends and clients.

    People are navigating every one of the eight worldly conditions: loss and gain, good-repute and ill-repute, praise and censure, sorrow and happiness.

    To practice Upekka is to be unwavering or to stay neutral in the face of each of these.

    The “far enemy” of Upekka is greed and resentment, mind-states in obvious opposition. The “near enemy” (the quality which superficially resembles upekka but which subtly opposes it), is indifference or apathy.

    “Do you want me to just be present with you or would it be helpful for me to offer some sort of process?” breath barely audible on either end of the phone.

    Skating on thin ice.

    Having been reading Rupert Spira’s work on nondual awareness, I pretty quickly notice the subtle grasping, the habit energy of not wanting those I care about to suffer.

    “Many of our ideas and beliefs about ourselves and the world are so deeply ingrained that we are unaware that they are beliefs and take them, without question, for the absolute truth.” ~ Rupert Spira

    The ground beneath my feet is shifting.

    “The discovery that peace, happiness and love are ever-present within our own Being, and completely available at every moment of experience, under all conditions, is the most important discovery that anyone can make.” ~ Rupert Spira

    Timing is everything.

    Richard Bandler says the best way to help a poor person is to not be poor.

    I grab the Daily Recollection and finger my mala while reading the 53rd through the 55th beads:

    I remember the practice of sati (presence):
    To be present with the breath.
    To be present with the proper object as it presents itself.
    To be present with the proper attitude: Whatever arises, I will not fixate on it. I will let my mind be free and spacious, resting in pure awareness.

    “The greatest discovery in life is to discover that our essential nature does not share the limits nor the destiny of the body and mind.” ~ Rupert Spira

    I add to Upekka the practice of Metta (lovingkindness), Karuna (compassion), and Mudita (sympathetic joy).

    I remember the great prayer: May all beings be free from suffering. May all beings feel joy. May all beings realize their intrinsic perfection and find perfect peace.