Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: re

  • “Lefty”

    His daughter let him know of the passing of an out-of-state friend. He was scheduled to be visiting his daughter and family the following week. He could be there to attend the funeral. Sitting down at the dining table to eat his breakfast he began reading the obituary, and casually said aloud, “Alexa, shuffle songs by Merle Haggard.”

    He had not really been noticing what was playing. But the line, “Lefty, he can’t sing the blues all night long like he use to,” from the song Lefty and Poncho certainly caught his attention. He knew it was a God-incidence.

    Although he had never known their friend’s formal name, the obituary read:

    John Alvin “Lefty” Barnett!

    A wave doesn’t just roll into the shore. It also rolls back out to sea. If it didn’t roll back out to sea, it couldn’t roll into the shore. And that is the human existence. If we didn’t come into these bodies, we wouldn’t leave these bodies. And if we didn’t leave these bodies, we wouldn’t come into these bodies. That is the nature of the eternal existence. ~ Debra Basham 7-10-2026

  • 4th of July Call for Help


    They were camping for the 4th of July weekend. While riding their new electric bikes to the evening’s bonfire, he thought he heard a male voice. Stopping to listen closely, he realized it was someone calling out for help.

    Following the calls, he located an older man by an overturned golf cart. The cart had flipped over pinning the man’s wife underneath! Quickly calling 911, what seemed a supernatural source of energy allowed him to lift the golf cart off of her.

    “Do not move her,” he was instructed. Taking charge, he directed campers who had come to see what the commotion was to leave the area. He stayed with the couple, supporting them until the medical team arrived and could safely transport her. He was very thankful for the news that although the woman’s pelvis was broken, she was expected to recover fully.

    Hearing details of her grandson’s unexpected 4th of July encounter, his grandmother told him, “There are angels in this world. You were an angel to this couple when you answered the call for help.”

    In many respects, this experience aligns perfectly with accounts in the gospels. Jesus did not operate like a modern crisis responder traveling the globe on a schedule; rather, His ministry was deeply relational and situational. He primarily ministered to the people He physically encountered as He walked through towns, taught on hillsides, or sat at meals.

  • Best I Can Do

    Once again, I appreciate not knowing things until after the fact. This time it was watching the 2025 film “Best I Can Do” which stars Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick as a couple in a romantic, character-driven dramedy about aging.

    I did not know they are a real life couple. They first met when she was just 12 years old and he was 19; she saw him in an off-Broadway play and briefly spoke to him at a deli, an encounter he initially didn’t remember. They officially connected on the set of “Lemon Sky” in 1987. Following a whirlwind romance, Bacon proposed on Christmas Eve of 1987, and they tied the knot less than a year later. They are one of Hollywood’s most enduring couples.

    This film follows a security guard (Bacon) who develops an unlikely connection with a urologist (Sedgwick) and explores themes of life’s challenges and finding new hope. Seems relevant to many of us right now.

    I thought the closing scene was brilliant. Admittedly, we were watching it during the visitation in Canada of a dear Florida friend who passed on Monday. Monday, June 28 was also the birthday of my (late) mother-in-law, the birthday of my eldest nephew, and the birth of our god daughter’s first grand baby.

    Here is a photo of our friend (on the left) with our daughter when we were together in February, 2025, enjoying a boat ride and having lunch on Captiva.

    Early morning texting with her husband included a message that is spoken quite often during this time in our lives. “You are right about how loved she is/was/will continue to be. You won’t stop loving her. We won’t. And she won’t stop loving us. We will miss her physical being with us like crazy…. Don’t say goodbye, say aloha. You don’t have to wait until you are out of your body to be together again. You can learn to be together with her not in a physical body, while you are still in one.”

    I will not give anything away about that closing scene because you might want to experience the film for yourself. It was powerful before I learned that the couple is a real-life couple, but the emotions I felt seemed even more significant after I discovered that.

    Best I can do is to say this has been quite a week….

  • The Way Forward

    Last evening as I was crawling in to bed, I checked the Facebook page of my niece. She is an amazingly inspiring woman, and often I am uplifted by the video-to-music posts of the “nature” of her life: cats, dogs, butterflies, moths, and (more recently again) chickens. Last night’s post was not of the same emotional tone:

      Things are quiet and sad in the coop tonight, and it’s hard to hold back tears. For the first time ever, we experienced a dog attack on our flock, and 9 of them were killed. One more is showing signs of shock or internal injuries, and I’m not sure she’s going to pull through.
      The dog belongs to a young couple who live at the farm across the field. The dog had had been doing fine off-leash on their property, and was far enough away that she couldn’t even see our place. For whatever reason, she wandered farther away this afternoon, and saw our chickens. By the time Brian could get out to catch her, she had killed 9 of them. With 60+ in the flock, and several of each kind in most cases, it’s hard to know which ones I lost. I do know I lost one of my little silkies that I adore. I’m worried that I’ll have a moment of realizing certain favorites are gone.
      Even though I don’t ever want the dog to be able to come onto our property again, I still feel really sad for her because of the freedom she’ll lose because of this. And I feel sad for her owners, too. It’s never a good feeling when your dog does something that causes pain for someone else. I told them I didn’t want them to view her differently. She just followed instincts, and had no idea what her actions would cause.
      It had already been a difficult few days because of three wild animal deaths I witnessed. I tried to turn my car around to save a young groundhog that was wandering on the road – only to watch another car hit it. I picked up the box turtle that had badly injured by a car, took it to Paw Paw to a vet that works with replies. Found out later its injuries were too severe, and it had to be put to sleep. Then I saw a post about baby raccoons who were displaced when workers cut down a tree. The babies were scared and running back and forth across the road. By the time I got there, two of them had already been killed on the road, and I couldn’t find any other ones.
      All of that being said, I’m just really grieving tonight. Loving animals brings some real pain along with all the joy.

    All of this comes along with preparations I am navigating for my being blessed to guest pastor at St. John UCC again — this time on the 29th anniversary of my ordination July 12, 1997. The theme of this sharing is “The Way Forward.”

    I wrote to my niece right away saying I was awake if she needed to talk. When I did not hear back from her I continued to pray as sleep came.

    Awake VERY early, I found the opening paragraph timely in Barbara Brodsky’s blog post: “I’ve been looking at feelings of powerlessness this morning. What is power? Are we ever truly without it? These pictures are not about my garden but about life, about all the things I feel are out of control. When that ‘no control’ feeling comes, it’s the inner contraction and negativity that really stops me, and creates a blockage of energy, much more than any external force.”

    I also saw an invitation to a 3-day program by Heart Mind Institute, DAY 1: Effort Doesn’t Calm the Nervous System. Before I left my bed, I listened and then did the Surrogate Tapping exercise by Jessica Ortner of The Tapping Solution.

    After a cup of tea, I posted the video my niece posted about her loss on my Facebook page with this message: “Asking for prayers. Knowing she recognizes that great wonderful gifts can come from unthinkable losses. Years ago she lost a beloved horse and her home schooling classroom in a barn fire. Out of those ashes a youth ranch was born. This devastation can also birth breathtaking beauty. Prayers for her and all involved as our human emotions can be sooooooo challenging.”

    All of this is totally intimately related to how I came to be ordained a Minister of Reunion and the message I plan to share about the way forward….

  • Cleveland Clinic

    They were in the midst of a Michigan blizzard and he was out trying to clear their driveway when a neighbor stopped to ask how his wife was doing. Although she worked for a medical doctor, a diagnosis had eluded them. “Not good,” was the reply.

    They talked a bit about what was going on with her, and later that night the neighbor, a chiropractor, called saying he thought he had identified what she had. “She needs to get somewhere and have a lung biopsy immediately,” he asserted.

    She notified her doctor, and because of the extreme winter weather they could not get her to Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago. They could not get her to University of Michigan Hospital in Ann Arbor, Michigan. In the snowy situation she could only be airlifted to Cleveland Clinic in Ohio.

    Granulomatosis with polyangiitis (GPA), formerly known as Wegener’s granulomatosis, is a rare autoimmune disorder that causes inflammation of small- and medium-sized blood vessels (vasculitis). It restricts blood flow and forms inflamed, swollen tissue masses called granulomas, primarily affecting the upper and lower respiratory tracts (sinuses, nose, lungs) and kidneys.

    Sure enough, she was diagnosed with GPA! And even more sure enough, they had experienced a divine blizzard because the world’s foremost expert in Wegener’s granulomatosis at that time was at Cleveland Clinic….

  • Ramped-up Service

    The hope to get him home was sincere and unrelenting, but the barriers were significant. His condition was largely due to Agent Orange exposure during the Vietnam war. And he had been Post Commander.

    Two Vets came forth — they were willing to drive him and his wife (and their two big dogs) from Southwest Florida to mid-Michigan. A van needed to be rented and fitted with a bed and commode. The Post offered to cover expenses.

    But they also needed a ramp at home so they could get him into the house. Time was short, but timing was divine. The day his wife called her daughter, her daughter called her mother-in-law. The local post had a loaner ramp being returned that very day. Within 48 hours the ramp had been installed and was ready to welcome him home – truly ramped-up service for a truly deserving service-man!

    “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” — Dale Carnegie

  • Queen of Salsa Quarter

    It was the perfect quarter for her to have found.

    “Does this make me a member of the Circle of Quarter Finders? And what say you about my found quarter?” was the text message.

    “Oh, what a find!” came the reply. “Two years ago right now we were in the deep emotional waters.”

    This found “Azúcar” quarter had been released in 2024 as part of the American Women Quarters™ Program. Their mutual friend was a feminist and advocate. She died on July 5, 2024. This found quarter was the first coin in U.S. history to feature an Afro-Latina, honoring Celia Cruz, the legendary “Queen of Salsa.”

    A few months earlier, she had married the beloved partner of her late friend…. The spiritual meaning of the Latin dance, salsa, seemed to speak significantly, sending affirmation from the other side: The salsa encompasses community, the energetic exchange between partners, and deep ancestral roots.

    Remarrying after a spouse’s death is not a betrayal, but rather a testament to a person’s capacity for love and connection. It does not erase the love held for a late partner; instead, it demonstrates a desire to continue experiencing life and companionship.

  • Calm the Storm

    This post was inspired by my early morning reading of Barbara Brodsky’s most recent blog about the summer she could not swim because of an infection in a toe bone and the risk of amputation. Reading what she wrote of her experience, along with her appreciation to again be basking in her love of swimming, I had memories to share.

    I told her of a time when I had briefly overcome fear of deep water (in this lifetime generated by a near-drowning while a pre-teen). I was taking an adult non-swim course at the YWCA in preparation of leading high school youth on a wilderness canoe/camping trip. Buoyed by confidence, I quickly enrolled in the next level class. But that class had a different instructor.

    Something about the combination of that teacher’s style and the tasks required for this next level set me back…. by the end of the session my competency had digressed. Fear had set in again. I have not yet regained the joyful jaunting Barbara thoroughly enjoys.

    I told Barbara how much I appreciate the way she and John Orr teach the dharma by telling their own experiences. The term “dharma” has no single-word English translation, its exact meaning depends heavily on the context in which it is used. Derived from the Sanskrit root dhr — meaning to hold or to support — dharma is the truth of what is. Dharma represents the truth of an underlying order that sustains the universe.

    Last Sunday’s sharing as guest pastor at St. John United Church of Christ in New Buffalo was about “Mindful Morality” — differentiated from morality as a concrete idea. We were not looking at something always being right and another something always being wrong. We touched on an understanding of how the insular cortex processes physical disgust (like tasting rotten food), and also lights up during moments of moral disgust (like witnessing unfairness or cheating).

    I told Barbara when John and I were here in our 42-year-old mobile home while tornado warnings were going off last evening, I calmed myself by sweeping the floors. I could not control what was going to happen. I could only do what I could do in the moment. I remembered the story of Jesus calming the storm. I remembered when my colleague/mentor Dr. Mary Jo Bulbrook had a group of indigenous healers from all over the globe at her place in North Caroline with a hurricane coming. They created a healing circle and each did what he or she drew from his or her lineage to “calm the storm” both literally and figuratively. That hurricane dissipated all around them! The group gave great gratitude that they did not even lose electric power.

    Before the storms came through last evening, I had filled a bucket of water to be able to flush toilets if we lost power. John can use that to water flowers in a day or so.

    “I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.” ~ Edward Everett Hale, American author and clergyman

  • Hundred-Dollar Blessing

    Joyce and a few friends have lunch out together on Wednesdays. They go different places on different days, but she was so grateful they went to Cracker Barrel on Wednesday, June 10, 2026.

    Joyce was chatting with another patron, enjoying the pleasant sharing. “I would like to give you a blessing, if you would like to receive it,” the woman said.

    “Of course,” Joyce replied. The woman pressed a bill into the palm of Joyce’s hand. Looking down, she was shocked to be holding a hundred-dollar bill!

    The woman spoke of having been in a cult as a child, then finding God. She and her husband had been very fortunate financially and they liked being in a position to share that blessing with others. Joyce felt this generosity to be a direct affirmation for the special sewing she has been doing — making small zippered cases for a mission project.

    “That hundred-dollar bill will be going to Hobby Lobby!” she happily exclaimed as she shared the experience of having gotten such great generosity.

    Great generosity from a stranger at lunch. A stranger who will forever feel like a friend….

  • Goldfinch Grace

    A pair of goldfinches are active just outside my window on this early morning. I love early hours and beautiful bird songs that accompany their activity.

    I look up the spiritual meaning and am informed by AI:

    The goldfinch spiritually symbolizes unbridled joy, positive transformation, and divine grace. Because of its bright yellow plumage and cheerful song, its presence is a reminder to embrace optimism, celebrate life’s simple beauties, and express your true self without constraint.

    My attention leaves my window as the birds find some privacy in the lush leaves on the large shrub. I continue to hear their sweet singing as I begin to check Facebook. This message (attribtued to Deep Spring, and posted by a woman I used to attend their retreats with) speaks to my heart:

      “Hold in mind what you wish to create. Chaos is always uncomfortable for you. I’m not supporting the disruption of the world, but I’m reminding you that perhaps some of this disruption is a necessary process to move from the old into the new. The most important thing here is first, to watch your fear of letting go of the old, the fear of what will replace it. Will we all die in this process? Will everything be lost, everything we have loved? And then, to remind yourself of your power to co-create. As the old falls away, it is so important that you are able to step in and say, “Now, in this space that has opened, here is what we choose to co-create: a world of mercy, peace, friendship, loving kindness, well-being, joy.” You are being invited into that time, a time of letting go that is so hard for the human, a time of dreaming the big dreams. What would a world look like that is truly at peace? Envisioning a world of peace, of cooperation, of co-creation, of well-being for all beings. What would that look like? You are not the politicians who are going to put together the political structure, but the political structure is an outflow and not a ground. You are the ones who create the ground as you are able to be present with your feelings of fear, your presence with a world out of control, your feelings of anger at some of the authorities who are trying to push this world only for their own individuated use. Stop and note, “I am Shanti Das, a servant of peace, and I can use my energy to support peace in the world, or I can use my energy to further hatred and oppositionality.”

    I treasure the reminders we have to see the gifts life is offering. It is grace that holds steady the willingness to see this day as alive with possibilities. Of course there are conditions that challenge us. I certainly see that living here in our 55-and-over community. We have neighbors in wheelchairs who cannot even get out of their house and onto their porch. We have friends and family members who are navigating ongoing situations that call for Herculean strength every day.

    I don’t remember where I saw this, but these are wonderful words: Sometimes the things we can’t change end up changing us.