Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: point of view

  • I Am Made of You

      It is this disinterested but completely allowing contemplation of the body in the world that the body loses its ‘me-ness’ and the world loses its ‘not-me-ness.’ In this way bodily sensations no longer cry out ‘I am separate, I am exclusively you” and perceptions of the world no longer cry out, ‘I am separate, I am not you.’ Everything sings out, ‘I am made of you.’ ~ Rupert Spiria


    Is this a drawing of a duck or a rabbit?

    A catchy little trick from NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) was to ask a client if he or she was sure enough to be unsure when that person could see conflicting points of view. This week it has come into clarity how vital it may be for each of us to move toward willingness to live in a state of asking that of ourselves: “Am I sure enough to be unsure?”

    The point is freedom from identification with any point of view; a full freedom from attachment to ALL points of view. This does not mean I won’t have a point of view. Of course we will. The shift comes as awareness reveals whatever the point of view, it is simply a point of view.

    Points of view can be very similar, somewhat similar, somewhat different, radically different, or even diabolically opposed. I think you will agree that way too often solidified points of view which are widely differing or diabolically opposed can become deadly. Literally….

    At the very least solidified points of view have an impact on rapport and can damage relationships, cause stress, and rob us of our natural state of harmony and happiness.

    Decades ago it was pretty easy for me to hold a firm intention to have freedom from a “negative” point of view, and to observe the changes within myself when I was free from that point of view. I could quite easily and notice when my Debbie Downer was in charge, and I could choose a better feeling thought. This was quite skillful at that time.

    The past several years I have been studying Sacred Darkness with a group of others who are also intentional about awareness with a capital “A.” What is sometimes called “pure” awareness is not a limited awareness of this or that, and it is not attached to a particular point of view. Even preferences of positive or negative are simply part of the continuum of The All That Is.

    For sure, I prefer feeling positively, but can you see that this preference is also aversion to feeling negatively? I remember so well letting something negative “go,” but continuing to hold the point of view that it was or is negative.

    Aaron’s Daily Reflection:

    Many of you were raised with this idea, “Hold it in the light and it will dissolve.” What do I do if it doesn’t dissolve? And of course, sometimes it doesn’t dissolve. If the conditions are present and have not yet been purified, then that condition will arise and will maintain itself until the conditions dissolve. If the conditions for body pain are still there, the pain will remain, no matter how much you try to love it. You do not love it to make it go away. You hold it in love — the body pain, the anger — because that spaciousness is what allows the conditions to dissolve. If you hold it in a kind of idea of love, saying, “I will love it. I will love it. Why is it still here? I’m loving it so hard! Why doesn’t it go?”, well, you’re just more and more contracting, more and more caught up in whatever has arisen, because you’re trying to smash it away.

    Rupert Spira is a teacher of non-dual awareness. He is the author of the opening quotation. His words are still a bit foreign to most humans when we try to use the finite mind to know or speak about the world. However, Spira’s work assures us, “It’s not possible to view the world directly from awareness’ perspective,” because, “There’s no room in the infinite for the finite.”

    Awareness needs the finite mind to know the world. The finite mind holds points of view.

    Every point of view is finite but love is infinite.

    Perhaps one way human beings are able to open to and enjoy the sweet fragrance of infinite love is by being sure enough to be unsure…. I am made of you.

  • Please Help Me Get Out of the Hospital

    Buddhist teachings point to the most elemental cause behind our suffering — forgetting who we are. We forget our belonging to one another and to our larger body of earth. We forget our belonging to the boundless, loving awareness which is our shared essence. Instead, we live in a trance of egoic separation, with habits of grasping and self-protection that lead to violating ourselves, others, and our world. We are at a time in history where the illusion of separate self — with its unprocessed fear, aggression and destructiveness — threatens all life systems on our planet. More than ever, we need practices that can evolve consciousness from “self-other” or “us-them” to “we” — practices that motivate us to act on behalf of our collective wellbeing. ~ ~ Dharma for Times of Global Trauma, by Tara Brach (Lion’s Roar)

    These universal words feel very personal today. While I have hesitated to write opening about the situation with a dear friend having been taken to the hospital and likely not returning to his home, something about Tara Brach’s words makes it impossible to not write opening about it.

    Readers will know of whom I speak, but I will refrain from naming names. Let’s be clear: This sharing is not to have you feel sorry for me or to feel hostile toward the “others” involved. Can one choose which side of a building we will keep standing? Choosing sides is a grand delusion. This sharing is to help US see how true it is that “the illusion of separate self — with its unprocessed fear, aggression and destructiveness — threatens all life systems on our planet.”

    We had just spoke to Dad’s case manager and found out that you are requesting for Hospice evaluation without letting us know. This is unacceptable. If you do this again, I will go to the court to take you out of the list. You do not have the best interest to take care of our Dad.

    The message went on to list many things considered to have been done wrong. The story was distorted and the tone was hostile. I did not address the distortions or the hostility, but instead sent a simple response:

    It won’t help your dad to have us argue over his care. I am very appreciative of this information. I always welcome your updates. Thank you for letting me know. I’m sorry if my call seemed argumentative.

    The email sent in response continued in the same threatening tone: Thanks. I also want to let you know that you are not his POA, so if you call yourself so, that would be a misrepresentation.

    The email messages since that day have continued to escalate.

    He has his phone now. Within minutes of its being dropped off to him, I received email, text, and a phone call with the same message: “Please help me get out of the hospital.”

    It is so very difficult…. Meanwhile, gratitude washes over me that he has his phone and that he can call me and express his emotion.

    Each time I speak to my dear friend, I hold this universal truth in my heart as I speak the words to him: “Since you are where you are right now, do the best you can to make the best of it.”

    Since we all share this difficult experience of being human on planet earth right now, we must do the best we can to make the best of it.

    What might be gained by seeing the “other’s” perspective?

    Years ago I delivered a sermon titled “Universal Addiction” in which we identified the universal addiction as to our point of view.

    Let’s be clear. We cannot un-see what we have seen. The way it was seen is the way it was seen. Magic happens when we realize (seeing with REAL EYES) that it can always also be seen from another perspective. It is not necessary to give up anything already seen to choose to see something additionally.

    The classic example of this is the young woman or old lady image. There are lots of these, but this one is possibly the most widely recognized.


    So much of mindfulness training is about just this. Hold up your hand. Focus on the fingers. Then relax your eyes and notice the space between the fingers and the view beyond the space. Each perspective exists. Point of view reveals, not creates, awareness.

    “The die is cast” is a saying that means an event has happened or a decision has been made that cannot be changed.

    Perhaps human consciousness has awakened sufficiently that no die can be cast…. perhaps, just perhaps…

    How else will we humans hold hands and act on behalf of the earth? How else will we go beyond the political dividedness that leads to violence and oppression? How else will we create beloved community, a world where all life is cherished, the vulnerable are cared for, and we naturally live for the common good?

    If we can imagine our potential as humans — what is possible — we can manifest the fullness of our true nature.

    ~Tara Brach