Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: open heart surgery

  • OCD and VPN and NOW

    Today was yet another conversation that demonstrated what has sometimes been called my OCD. The sharing was with an online group — all of us well beyond our youth! Candid talk about having documents in place, plans well articulated, and persons in place as we face what are called The Five Remembrances in Buddhism morphed into acknowledgment of our universal vulnerability.

    The Five Remembrances

    I am of the nature to grow old; I cannot escape aging.

    I am of the nature to have ill health; I cannot escape sickness.

    I am of the nature to die; I cannot escape death.

    All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change; I cannot escape being separated from them.

    My actions are my only true belongings; I cannot escape the consequences of my actions; My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

    As two of us lingered online I confessed that I cannot put something into a closet without awareness that I may be leaving something for someone else to take care of. The upgrade for OCD (obsessive compulsive behavior) that has come to my heart is OCD:Only compassionate doing.

    Several of us had experiences with others who did or did not take good care of those who would end up taking care of what we did not.

    This is a short post with a long list of ways we can be more loving to those who are responsible for loving us.

    One piece of new information for me is the need for a VPN. I had to look it up to even know what that means.

      What is a VPN?

      A beginner’s guide: A VPN, or virtual private network, is a service that routes your internet traffic through a remote server. It encrypts your internet traffic and masks your IP (Internet Protocol) address.

      This process secures your connection to the internet and protects your privacy while browsing online. It also hides your online activities from third parties trying to collect your data or intercept your connection.

    Well, now I know something I did not know and VPN will be an area my OCD will look into and put into place.

    This morning I also received a text message from a neighbor here in Lazy Days who just had open heart surgery on Friday. I was able to send him this photo of John playing his guitar at day 11 post surgery in 2022.


    And now he is riding bicycle with me 10 miles a day!

    OCD, VPN, and NOW…

  • Getting Ready

    Meditation is not only permissible in the face of great suffering; it is a moral obligation.
    ~ Right Action in the Face of Suffering, by Dan Zigmond,
    March 15, 2022 in The Lion’s Roar

    Often I use the Yellow Brick Road as a platform to share what is happening. Today I am simply going to share a significant perspective: A lot is happening….

    John is doing well. Obviously he is still recovering, but for his 11th week post-surgery-anniversary on Monday he walked 10,000 steps! He has 2 more cardio rehab visits here in Florida and will pick up when we get home to Michigan.

    Packing (not quite yet loading), deep cleaning (not yet cleaning myself out of the door).

    EVERYTHING is living metaphor.

    We are in the “getting ready but not quite yet ready” phase as a collective consciousness.

    I just spoke to Stacey. She is navigating sciatica pain. Not able to get comfortable to sleep; painful to sit; painful to stand. John had experienced a severe sciatica flare from the first of November until recovery with the hospitalization for the open-heart-surgery the first week of January.

    Yesterday, my nephew (David HOWARD) had an amazing experience meeting HOWARD, the owner of Uniquely Gourmet: Wholesale and Private Label Craft Foods in Rusk, Texas. Today is my father’s birthday, also a HOWARD.

    Today is also the birthday of our grand-daughter-in-love, Christina.

    A lot is happening….

    Tom Kuhlman and his wife, Delcy, have had the precious Still Waters Retreat Center which has been a part of my spiritual journey for almost 30 years. This just in from Tom about Still Waters having been sold:

    Yesterday was the closing on our place. We will have a couple months to find a place and time to move. We will have a few more months to empty the barn and shop.

    So far we have looked at and eliminated 12 places and are headed out to look at a “new listing”.

    Before we moved to Still Waters, the State would bring us a list of “possible new places” each week. We didn’t go to all they suggested because several were in subdivisions and not what we needed. However we were looking at the 42nd on their list when the neighbor lady came out and suggested this place we have used as home for the last 33 years. This place was not for sale at the time, but when we talked to the owner……. Long story….. he “talked to the ‘MAN upstairs’ and was told to sell to us…”.

    We know the Lord led us to this place 33 years ago when the State bought our house in Berrien for the new highway. That is why we believe God will find a place for us now.

    We invite all of you to pray for us as we search.

    A lot is happening….

  • Toll Tale

    Sacred Stories

    Driving the hour-plus to their seasonal home, no toll lanes were manned when she came over the bridge!!!

    She later learned since Covid the bridge does not have toll attendants. Drivers must either have a transponder for auto-pay or wait for an invoice to be sent.

    She logged on to SunPass and saw the “pay toll by license plate number with no invoice” feature. Her license plate was not there but it said plates might not update for 10 days. Day after day after day she logged on and checked, hoping to avoid the service fee associated with processing of an invoice. Weeks later she wrote to customer service explaining the situation and received an email saying the case was closed.

    There was nothing to do but wait. She finally received an in the mail — $2 toll plus a $3 service fee!

    She called customer service to dispute the service fee.

    “I do not live in Florida, I am just wintering here. I crossed the bridge on the way back from the hospital after my husband had a surprise open-heart surgery. I had no idea there would not be an attendant. I logged on to the website and it said there would be an option to pay without an invoice but that never happened. I filed a complaint but received an email saying the case was closed.”

    “What website did you log on to?” he asked.

    Somewhat indignant, she said she had no idea that bridge was operated by a local entity!

    “You were driving and you noticed the one name but not the other. Please don’t call yourself ignorant. And you were under a lot of stress. How is your husband doing? That is the most important thing.” His voice was so kind.

    “He is doing well, thank you.” She choked back tears.

    “I am so glad for that. My father also had surprise open-heart surgery but he did not make it….”

    He went on to tell her how she could come to the toll service office and they could wave the fee. She said it was not practical to drive that far to save such a small amount of money.

    Suddenly recognizing that the error was never about money, tears came as compassion welled up in her heart for this man and his family.

    Her husband who had overheard the phone conversation, commenting, “You paid $3 for a sacred story,” as they shared a few tears over this tender toll tale.

    Knowing they were so very fortunate, with a grateful heart she wrote out the check.

  • Cervantes

    Sacred Stories

    One month into their four-month snowbird season, her husband had emergency CABG – coronary artery bypass grafting. They had no idea he had extensive coronary artery disease.

    She anticipated he would be discharged from the hospital today. Catching up on email, a message from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations* their friend sent to her the previous day caught her attention. The author of the opening quotation leapt off the page.

    Time ripens all things. No man’s born wise.

    ~ Miguel de Cervantes

    Cervantes is the name of the surgeon who did her husband’s open-heart surgery!

    We come to understand time in a different way. Each day we discover that there is an order to life that is only revealed day-to-day. The moments when life forces us to reconsider our schedule are no longer met with anger and frustration. We begin to trust our Higher Power to actually dictate what will happen in our lives. We find ourselves staying close to people who have developed some measure of humility for they seem to have a better sense of timing.