Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: mind

  • Guidance

    I have come to truly savor watching the TV reality dancing shows. My first (and perhaps still favorite) is So You Think You Can Dance, but I have also come to enjoy Dancing with the Stars and now World of Dance. It is wonderful to see the dance arts gaining recognition as having value. Football players make a ton of money but football does not touch my soul the way dance does. If you are new to seeing dance as an expression of soul, or even if you are in agreement, take a moment to watch this clip of a powerful Mia Michaels piece about addiction, called “Gravity” and danced brilliantly by Kayla and Kupono.

    When I meditate on the word guidance, “dance” at the end of the word lingers in my mind’s eye. I remember reading that doing God’s will is a lot like dancing with the divine.

    We enjoyed a month of joy sharing the past 52 hours with our daughter, Stacey, who came up from Tennessee this weekend. Readers of Yellow Brick Road know I am actively processing the undeniability of our impermanence. (See Still Waters.) Before Stacey arrived, I choked back tears telling her dad, “It feels like time is just rushing by and no matter how much time we might have left with her, most of our time with her is already gone. I don’t want to waste a single moment.”

    I can still smell her in the room here in the tiny house that doubles as my office and the guest room. The fragrance that lingers sounds like laughter. The vision that lights up my heart is seeing her riding along the Van Buren Trail Spur. It is only 2.5 miles, and we drove 50 miles round trip. But catching a glimpse of her helmeted head while watching the Monarch’s dance in the clover running along the trail was worth every mile. Some days it seems as though my chest is not big enough to hold my heart. It physically hurts to feel the complexity of missing, longing, joy, and trust.

    One of the amazing things that happened was around the route she would take back because she was going to Paris Landing, Tennessee, where their sail boat is rather than going back to Smyrna. Since she said she was going 1-94 to 1-57 I had such a strong sense she should go 1-31 to 1-69 instead. Just last evening we asked Linda, who has lived and worked in Illinois, her opinion. Linda agreed 1-31 was probably a better route, and that was the plan. Early this morning Linda sent a text: 31 was closed due to a tanker truck crash and fire. This afternoon it is still closed with the possibility that the southbound lanes might not open up for a couple of days.

    The dance with the divine means we do not often understand the why’s or the when’s or the how’s. We can often see more clearly in hindsight. Say only, Linda would not have known to alert us to the closure if we had not asked her opinion about the route.

    One of the precious moments we shared was attending our former church, where a good friend is now pastor. David was in our youth program while Stacey was growing up, and for many years he spent more time at our house than at his own. Stacey suggested we go; I confirmed he would be speaking; and we went. I sat in my past, seeing how much has changed. Pews have been replaced with flexible sanctuary seating. Walls have come down, large screens replacing hymnals.

    One thing that had not changed: First Sunday of the month communion.

    “Given for you.” Both women who served the bread and cup called me by name.

    It was a tender time.

    “Do this in remembrance.” There certainly is a lot to remember related to that church home and to our daughter, now a member of AARP.

    Suddenly, I hear Lee Ann Womack singing, “I Hope You Dance.” I hope I dance. I hope you dance. I hope we all do. And I hope we don’t ever take one single step for granted.

    I Hope You Dance
    by Lee Ann Womack

    I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
    You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
    May you never take one single breath for granted
    God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
    I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
    Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
    Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance
    And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
    I hope you dance
    I hope you dance
    I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
    Never settle for the path of least resistance
    Livin’ might mean takin’ chances, but they’re worth takin’
    Lovin’ might be a mistake, but it’s worth makin’
    Don’t let some Hellbent heart leave you bitter
    When you come close to sellin’ out, reconsider
    Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
    And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
    I hope you dance (Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)
    I hope you dance
    I hope you dance (Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
    I hope you dance (Where those years have gone?)
    I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
    Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
    Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance
    And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
    Dance
    I hope you dance
    I hope you dance (Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)
    I hope you dance (Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder?)

    Songwriters: Tia Sillers / Mark Sanders
    I Hope You Dance lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

  • Credit Card Reader

    Sacred Stories

    She had been looking for her credit card reader for two days.

    She arrived at the venue without yet finding it.

    Calling her by name, she said right out loud to her daughter in spirit, “It it is here, show me where it is.”

    She picked up a bag of bags and there was her credit card reader!

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Spiders!

    I am starting a two-year study with Barbara Brodsky and Aaron and John Orr. As a preparation, Barbara shared a detailed meditation/dream she had where she was asked what her highest intention was. As part of this process, a high being conducted a sort of interview. This being asked if there were those who would speak to their experience of Barbara.

    The deva of the lady bugs came forth saying Barbara had been carefully removing them from the window sill and gently taking them outdoors.

    A deva of the spiders said Barbara was fearful and had done great harm to their kind when they approached her. She admitted this was true.

    The wise being conducting the interview said, “These balance each other out.”

    As I read the rest of Barbara’s accounts, each balancing one another out, I wondered who would speak and what could be said about me.

    One of my most frequent mantras is, “May all beings come to the end of suffering.” Each Sunday morning Celeste closes our meditation with the extended version including the wish that all beings know love and find peace. Is that enough?

    Wondering if the times I have worried about finances and withheld my generosity be balanced by the times when you know you are supported by the abundance of the universe and give generously. “I am a co-signer on God’s bank account.” Do you know this truth?

    Perhaps the moments of patiently waiting in line or traffic or saying for the third time still with kindness how to do something will be able to balance my sharp tongue and unwholesome reply when anxious about something.

    What will be made of our lives? What is being made?

    I had a post-Sangha conversation on the sidewalk with Don as we were leaving the library. He spoke of the great understanding coming from a true sense of what is meant by the term karma. One might steal, cheat, lie, then find themselves on the receiving end of unkindness and true lack of safe conditions for life. If you can recognize the starting of the turning of the wheel, you can release any sense of being a victim.

    One of my earliest jobs was to count 50 gallon wooden barrels filled with cherries in bleach solution for making maraschino cherries. (Yes, before they become artificially red or green, toxic chemicals are used to make them white. Yuck!) Many dozens of barrels laid end-to-end in the wide open field adjacent to the warehouse of the cider mill my dad managed. Our job was to walk the barrels, stepping from one to the next, counting, making sure the people took what they paid for. This was the perfect home to a gadzillion HUGE yellow and black field spiders.

    In my childish fear, I did not understand the benefit of these creatures. I only knew the fear. We would catch dozens of them in jars where they would fight to the death in this unnatural lack of territory. The unnatural environment made the spiders appear fierce and hostile.

    Interestingly, years later I would discover “spider” is my one of my primary animal totems…

    Thankfully, we can come to a genuine recognition of the worth of all beings and experiences.

    The Four Immeasurables as a Traditional Tibetan Buddhist Prayer

    May all beings have happiness and the cause of happiness.
    May they be free of suffering and the cause of suffering.
    May they never be disassociated from the supreme happiness which is without suffering.
    May they remain in the boundless equanimity, free from both attachment to close ones and rejection of others.

  • Beams of Light

    Sacred Stories

    Her son had passed that winter, and she and her daughter went to a place that is very sacred to her to spread his ashes.

    As her daughter was taking photos, she started noticing that beams of light showed up where his ashes were placed. She would change the position of the camera or where she stood but the beams still came through.

    She said, “It was an amazing experience. We spent time celebrating his life and our enduring love for him.”

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Filter Bubbles

    The one you seek, is the one who seeks.
    Therefore, It’s not “I” who reads spiritual books;
    it is not “I” who sits ZAZEN,
    paying attention to body, BREATH, and mind.
    IT is not “I” who let’s go of everything, but THIS, only THIS!
    ~ Jerry Ashmore, posted in Empty Circle Zen Group

    Most of us are aware of algorithmic editing at some level. All information we access is filtered according to a predetermined “sorting.” The news is full of Russia’s manipulation of social media (Facebook) and the hidden criteria of search engines (Google). Even if you are not new to the truth and implications, check out Eli Pariser’s TED talk about filter bubbles.

    Pariser says the key threat is this: “If I search for something, and you search for something, even right now at the very same time, we may get very different search results… And you know, the funny thing about this is that it’s hard to see. You can’t see how different your search results are from anyone else’s.”

    The biggest algorithmic editing risk might just be to our relationships. What if we have family and friend “filter bubbles” operating and we don’t even notice? Sky Nelson-Isaacs has looked at a model for synchronicity based on a process called “meaningful history selection.” His book, Living in Flow: The Science of Synchronicity and How Your Choices Shape Your World, is due out in the spring of 2019.

    This is so alive, so organic, so vital. Our brains operate just like these search engines: our thoughts and emotions are generated by our memories, and then our experiences are generated by our expectations. I don’t see you as you. I see you as my history of you. I don’t experience you as you, I experience you as I expect you. I am co-creating you in my image of you.

    Of course, as Jerry Ashmore wrote, “YOU” and “I” don’t exist on the ultimate level of reality. Even at the relative level we can see this is truth. We can look at our hand and see all of the fingers and we know the fingers are a part of the hand. We know the hand is also part of the body. Everything and everyone is part of everything and everyone.

    A precious friend has a life-long history of difficult interactions with a sister that has resulted now in a choice to “put her out of my life.” Conversations with my friend are around my hope/wish/insistence we can access genuine freedom inside buy changing how we look at things.

    Experience the bliss of Self-Respect and give respect to others at all times. When I am prejudiced against another, my narrow vision and small heart lower my self-dignity and self-worth.

    If you are insulted by another person, and you become angry in response, the sin is the anger which you create not the insult. You are asleep to the truth that you just hurt yourself, and that you are the creator of your anger not the other person. And now you have a recording in your consciousness that contains an image of the other surrounded by the energy of anger. You put it there, not them. Next time you see them, up comes the anger again, and in that moment you are at your least effective, paralyzed by self created anger, you are effectively out of the game until you cool down.

    “Thought for Today” ~ Brahma Kumaris

  • Slipping Me $150

    Sacred Stories

    Her morning errands had taken longer than she expected, and she had an afternoon appointment for a massage. Rather than go all the way home, she stopped for some lunch. As she was returning her tray after she finished eating, she slipped on the floor where some soup had been spilled a bit earlier.

    She assured the staff she was not injured, but she still received a call from management later that day. The establishment wanted to pay her $150, for her inconvenience.

    She had recently committed to the purchase of a piece of technology to support her husband, and she had been wondering where the extra money would come from.

    It was as though Spirit was slipping her the money to pay for the new technology.

    The cost was $150!

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Three Letters

    Sacred Stories

    As her husband was facing death, he begged her to promise him that she would be open to loving someone else and having someone else love love her. Although she was only 51, that felt unthinkable to her at the time.

    She had been widowed 16 years when she met someone.The man she was marrying had lost his wife only a year earlier.

    The ceremony was tender with openness about their previous loves and losses. They each knew their spouses wanted them to be together.

    Pulling out of the church parking lot, the pastor noticed the license plate on the car she followed to the stop sign. Three letters, 3 numbers.

    The 3 letters on the license plate spelled out the bride’s late husband’s name.

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Calamity and Collapse


    Grapevine Daily Quote
    May 30
    “Truly transforming spiritual experiences are nearly always founded on calamity and collapse.”
    AA Co-Founder, Bill W., August 1957, “The Physicians”, The Language of the Heart

    August of 2017 was a month of ginormous change. We were settling into our new tiny home. My brother-in-law, Jim, passed peacefully early in the morning on Wednesday, August 16. My nephew, David, was released from prison and began what was to be one year of parole. Over the months, I have mentioned him in previous blog posts. The story of his being accepted at the men’s mission in Holland (Google Maps and 70×7); helping him get his commercial driver’s license back (A Wonderful Week); calling on kitty therapy to breathe through a crisis (Pure Positive Energy); confessions of dealing with fearful patterns (The Voice of Assurance); and his being incarcerated again (Depression: The Secret We Share).

    Through each of these posts, my fingers on the keyboard brought clarity, peace, and sanity in times of calamity and collapse. Today, again, I write.

    Last week David got out of Jail, and his mom picked him up and brought him to St. Joseph to get his truck. His job was going to keep him, and the place where he was staying was going to let him come back. Within 24 hours he cut himself out of the tether, and went on a binge again. Two days later he called his mom, asking for $200 or the dealers were going to “bash his head in.” She told him she didn’t have the money, and for him to try to get away. He ended up having my brother-in-law come and get him and he turned himself in again. His parole agent said David is in a very dark place and has asked to be sent back to prison saying parole is too hard.

    These posts are about my process, as much as they are about David. I share his pain, his disappointment, his discouragement, his despair.

    I am reminded of a funeral I went to decades ago. I do not even remember now who the woman was but I remember she had committed suicide. The pastor talked about the way we tend to view the whole by looking at a single part. He lifted up how hard she had fought the depression, how many moments of success she had experienced, how much she loved life and her family. He reminded us to remember those moments too, not just this moment of her death.

    Part of my therapy this week was watching Momma Mia! (again). Feeling my chest tighten, witnessing the lump in my throat, and welcoming tears as Meryl Streep and Amanda Seyfried sing “Slipping Through My Fingers” , I knew I was also watching for David. Here are the lyrics, but if you can, please, click on the link to watch the clip. Streep is brilliant. Seeing this clip is moving because it holds such truth for our human condition.

    Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
    Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
    I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
    And I have to sit down for a while
    The feeling that I’m losing her forever
    And without really entering her world
    I’m glad whenever I can share her laughter
    That funny little girl
    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    I try to capture every minute
    The feeling in it
    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    Do I really see what’s in her mind
    Each time I think I’m close to knowing
    She keeps on growing
    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
    Barely awake, I let precious time go by
    Then when she’s gone there’s that odd melancholy feeling
    And a sense of guilt I can’t deny
    What happened to the wonderful adventures
    The places I had planned for us to go
    (Slipping through my fingers all the time)
    Well, some of that we did but most we didn’t
    And why I just don’t know
    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    I try to capture every minute
    The feeling in it
    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    Do I really see what’s in her mind
    Each time I think I’m close to knowing
    She keeps on growing
    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
    And save it from the funny tricks of time
    Slipping through my fingers…
    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
    Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile..
    Songwriters: Benny Andersson / Bjoern K Ulvaeus / Bjorn Ulvaeus
    Slipping Through My Fingers lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

    This morning I hold my mala beads as I let the illusion wash away:

    Marker bead: Namo Prajna, Paramita Hridaya. Homage to the wisdom mind.

    63rd Bead: Whatever has the nature to arise has the nature to cease and is not me nor mine.
    64th bead: When wholesome thoughts arise, cultivate the wholesome.
    When unwholesome thoughts arise, abandon the unwholesome.
    65th bead: Tend the contents of the mind with compassion, as a mindful gardener tends his garden.
    66th bead: This is the way to purify the mind and
    remove the clouds that obscure the vision of ultimate reality.

    Intention bead: In this way will I train myself.

    David is not his actions, skillful or unskillful. He is not his thoughts, wholesome or unwholesome. He is not his emotions, pleasant or painful. Nor are you and neither am I. May all beings come to the end of suffering.

    P.S. Let me know if you would like a copy of the 108 Bead “Daily Recollection” version by Barbara Brodsky of Deep Spring Meditation Center.

  • 8:49 Divine Timing

    Sacred Stories

    At 8:49 am, she received a text from a colleague that would not be needing to use the office because her client had rescheduled. Also at exactly 8:49 am, she received a call from someone needing a session.

    Had that call come in even one minute earlier, the office space would not have been available.

    Everyone involved recognized Divine Timing.

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Daily Inspiration

      WORD FOR THE DAY

      As human beings,
      our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world
      that is the myth of the “atomic age”
      as in being able to remake ourselves.

      ~ Mahatma Gandhi
      (Sign up to receive the “Word for the Day” from gratefulness.org.)

    Signing up to receive inspiration daily (via email) is one of the many gifts of being here now during the information and technology age. Today’s thoughts from myriad sources really resonate to the hopes and dreams I have for all sentient beings, so this blog post is dedicated to you.

    On this day of your life
    Debra, I believe God wants you to know …

    … that when you see the light at the end of the tunnel,
    it is not beneficial to go out and build more tunnels.

    It was John Quinton who observed that politicians do
    that. Maybe you’ve caught yourself doing it, too. Just
    when things look like they’re getting better, you start
    seeing more things that “aren’t right,”
    or “could go wrong.”

    The Universe is essentially a friendly place.
    So friendly, in fact, that it will give you
    exactly what you expect it to.

    Isn’t that wonderful? Of course,
    it depends on what you expect…

    Neale Donald Walsch
    (Sign up to receive Neale’s “Daily Inspirations” at today@nealedonaldwalsch.com)

    For many years my friend has shared the Brahma Kumaris’ daily thought with me. Each of those comes with an image. Today’s image speaks louder than a thousand words:

    The message that accompanied the image is: The greatest act of generosity is the ability to see beyond the weaknesses of others, helping them to recognize their innate qualities and core values.

    In the USA, visit the Brahma Kumaris at www.brahmakumaris.org/us/o

    For their guided meditation online visit: www.just-a-minute.org

    The final gift I opened this morning was a delightful video interview with Shinzen Young: What is Enlightenment? If you are curious about moving beyond the pain and frustration of relative reality, check him out. His has studied the science and experienced the freedom that comes from making meditation a part of your life. Visit: Meditation is Real at https://www.shinzen.org/

    In closing, I will use yesterday’s message from Betty Lue because she is on the West Coast so those come in later in the day.

    Affirmations:
    Love is the way to peace.
    I quickly recognize, forgive and erase all blocks to Love.
    It is safe, fun and easy to love, only Love.
    All good comes from Loving without condition.

    Closing:
    Now is the time for us to engage one another in the dialogue of how to love and be loved.
    We can begin with our family and ourselves.
    We can ask one another: How can I love you better?
    We can forgive ourselves for being afraid to love with innocence and trust, as a child loves.
    We can choose again to remove (forgive and erase( all obstacles to being Loving always.
    We can undo the false beliefs and limited thinking that separates us from one another.
    We can choose to live in Love, with Love in our Hearts and Minds as Love in our world.

    Life works when we Love,
    Betty Lue

    Sign up to receive Betty Lue’s Loving Reminders at http://daily.lovingreminders.org/

    What an honor it is to “remake ourselves” as we live moment-to-moment with daily inspiration!

    P.S. The heading of the last daily inspiration I opened this morning: “No tap dancing around problems.” Amen and amen….