From the 1992 film, “Death Becomes Her”:
[Lisle (Isabella Rossellini) hands Madeleine (Meryl Streep) the vial of potion.]
Madeleine: “Bottoms up.”
[She drinks the potion.]
Lisle Von Rhuman: “Now a warning.”
Madeleine: “NOW a warning?”
This information may feel a lot like that. It has been an intense yet slow-moving past few months, with many of us feeling very out of sorts, even to the point of having difficult and painful experiences. But there’s a reason, according to the stars. The five outer planets (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto) have ALL been retrograde. When a planet goes retrograde, everything related to that planet goes wonky.
If everything related to all of these wasn’t enough, Mercury also went retrograde September 27 until October 18, with a “shadow period” that lasts a few weeks before and after the actual retrograde.
Now a warning…. This will be a very intense time, as we are reflecting upon all the partnerships, relationships, and friendships in our lives to understand where we fit in. Is there balance and peace between us? Do we feel at home with these people?
See: Why You Might Be Feeling Off Lately.
I have certainly been experiencing this, as have the people in my life.
In the Tuesday, October 26, Dharma Path class we were guided to reflect on the following, with the guidance of realizing, “If we can’t hold ourselves in our hearts we can’t hold each other.”
I wrote in my journal:
wounded sexuality
left hip/knee/foot
inner worrywart
To begin this difficult process we were to reflect on a part of ourselves that we do embrace. That was easier. I love that I am a hearth-keeper, baking cookies, making meals, helping and supporting. I love being a nurturer.
We were gently reminded, “These parts are real. When we are dismissive we can’t bring them into our heart. We have all lost something dear to us. We all have a community within us. It is time to invite ourselves back into our hearts.”
We were instructed to look into the camera and really allow ourselves to see ourselves and to be seen through the eyes of unconditional love.
It was powerful.
At one point, the eyes literally became the eyes of my dad! I could see clearly how I had stepped in to the wounded sexuality when my dad’s indiscretion resulted in him passing syphilis to my mom while she was pregnant for me. Then my having been sexualized at a young age; my getting pregnant at 15, married at 16, at a time when females were not allowed to stay in school. Loss of libido and intimacy with the hysterectomy in 2012. Such loss…. Dismissive? Lord, yes.
But suddenly I could see this all having come from conditions – this line of wounded sexuality did not begin with me!
A flood of appreciation washed over my soul.
I wrote in my journal:
I have healed the line of wounded sexuality. I did not start it. I stepped into it.
As I was working on this post, a friend sent the perfect “Inspiration” from a Network For Grateful Living Gratefulness.org:
Place your hand on your heart. Feel what surfaces in the fullness of that space. Joy, sorrow, anger, contentment, sadness, delight, vulnerability. Perhaps an unnameable tone. Whatever you notice, allow it to simply be. Let it be okay. Let yourself soften.
When we hold ourselves and others tenderly, we nurture the relationships that make life possible. Tending is the embodiment of tenderness and so a direct path to shared belonging. We stretch toward and from the heart, extending to others and ourselves expressions of humility, compassion, and care. As Trui Snyman says in the short film Tenderness: “People are hard on each other, people are hard on themselves.…We could all do with more tenderness.”
In moments of difficulty, tenderness can serve as a starting place, offering fertile ground for the cultivation of gratefulness. Soften, and open up to the unending gifts of the great mystery in which you belong. Soften, and feel yourself fortified. Soften. Stretch toward and from your heart.
Like the weather, moods change.
Soften….
And now another warning: Venus goes retrograde on December 19 until January 29, 2021.