Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: meaningful coincidence

  • In a Single Thought

    It was mid morning on Thursday. I was on a FaceTime call with a client. The goal of the session revolved around not getting thrown out of balance during crisis times. The desire was to stay grounded even in trying circumstances.

    I like to do divination for guidance when I am working with someone to help me stay unattached. Thursday I used Angelic Messenger Cards: A Divination System for Spiritual Discovery, by Meredith L. Young Sowers. Two cards fell out. I made some notes from those two cards and from the Daily Word:

    Need for greater calmness and inner peace.
    Ask yourself, “Whom will this choice benefit?”
    Relinquish struggle and accept the truth of your angelically-inspired perspective.
    Move into the perspective of your divine nature.
    Claim your highest self and release the needy aspects of your life that mentally hold you prisoner.
    Believe more in yourself and your divine guidance
    In a single thought I can redirect my attention toward the peace of knowing I am protected.

    My phone rang. It was my brother-in-law. I could not figure out how to put the FaceTime call on hold to answer, so the call went to voice mail. “Call me immediately.”

    Moments later I was on my way to the hospital where my husband was being taken by ambulance. He had reported having a horrible stomach ache and then he lost consciousness.

    The day spent in the hallway of the emergency room (there was no room in the inn) was stressful. About dinner time he was admitted for observation. A few hours later I was driving home without him.

    The following day he was to be discharged as soon as he had an echo cardiogram, but ER was so busy again they could not get to him. Mid afternoon we were still waiting. When asked how we were holding up, I gave an honest report. “We are listening to elevator music on the TV, we both have our nose in a book, and we have decided to consider it a voluntary library day.”

    About 5:00 they decided to send him home and schedule the echo as a out-patient followup.

    Simply put, we could not control the circumstances. We could choose the thoughts and feelings and experience we were having.

    We had not wasted our day. We took the late discharge as an opportunity to stop for Thai food on the way home.

    I was taught to pay attention in client sessions and consider the message is for me first. That was obviously true last Thursday….

  • Super Blue Blood Moon

    I am blessed to be part of two writers’ groups, and one of the precious gifts of winter for me is that I take more time to write. Do you notice how seemingly unconnected things are not? For example, this morning people all over the U.S. got up early enough to see if they could get a glimpse of the Super Blue Blood Moon. One online comment said the skies have not been like this since Andrew Johnson was President, the second dome on the U.S. Capitol was completed, and Jesse James completed his first robbery.

    Time seems linear, but is not. My writing seems melancholy, but I am not.

    Poem Widow Wake-up by Debra Basham 01/23/2018

    Morning had still not yet come when she rolled over in the bed and instinctively reached her hand to the other side. This day, like so many she had tried to hold back with her sheer will, her hand found nothing to grasp on to. Nevertheless, she left it there as though memories of his warm body could will her body to greet this day.

    But it was not death that had stolen her joy. No, she herself had day-after-day driven the very sense of peace and well-being she longed for from her own heart. Living never in the now, her fears had wound themselves so tightly into her reality no distinction remained.

    “Please God,” her daily prayer as rote as the morning rosary at St. Michael’s Elementary Catholic School, “don’t let today be the day I become a widow.”

    But, not even God could keep that from happening today because in her mind it already had….

    As we take in to account that more is always happening in our lives than we are currently aware of, I suggested a client check out the energy of the Super Blue Blood Moon and how his current experience might well be connected to a childhood trauma. He sent this quote from an article he read online, “The last time there was a celestial alignment of these three things was in 1982.” 1982 was the year of that childhood event…

    Driving to a meditation group, I called the hostess to let her know I might be about 5 minutes late. “I am under the weather so we are not meeting today. I sent an email message.” I did not receive the message, but making that call saved me about an hour-long round trip.

    Maybe we don’t all always pay attention but inner guidance and meaningful coincidences are always there for each of us. Noticing them help us stop torturing ourselves with our minds. We can instead offer kindness. This quote of the day comes from my meditation teacher:

    Deep Spring Center
    Thought for Today

    No matter how many times the world comes to the verge of war or enters into it, each time is new, a new moment that has never happened before, with its own sorrows and also its joys. You ask what joy there can be. Joy in the fact that so many of you do not hate a supposed enemy but in your hearts take the enemy to be fear and hatred itself. The joy that so many of you can offer wishes for well-being, even to those who hate, and at the same time, be willing to say no to those beings who would do harm. A no based on kindness.

    May the energy of this Super Blue Blood Moon remind us of all we can do. Today and everyday…

  • Corpse Prayer

    Each year I enjoy some ritual on my birthday. Yesterday afternoon I still did not know what that was to be. Riding to the birthday celebration of our 85 year old friend, I learned of a marvelous exercise called “Corpse Prayer.” It comes from Jarem Sawatsky’s book, Dancing with the Elephants: Mindfulness Training For Those Living With Dementia, Chronic Illness or an Aging Brain (How to Die Smiling Series, #1).

    The “Corpse Prayer” exercise resonates deeply with me because it is essentially my own Imagine Healing process where you anchor positive images along your future timeline to allow the worry brain to turn off. In my process, you build in the caveat although things won’t happen exactly as you imagine it, as you make an image that lets know things have gone so well, even better than you imagined it….

    As Sawatsky suggests, I imagine the last three minutes of my life.

    I am propped up in a big fluffy bed. The bedclothes are pristine white. Stacey is there with me. I have no pain or illness, just old-age. It is time to let go. I see Stacey as old too. That comes as a surprise. White hair. Wrinkled hands. I feel sadness for a moment that her life will not be much longer, then I let that go as I celebrate sacred life and sacred death. I love her so much. I am so blessed she has been with me since I was only a child. I breathe the familiar Corpse Prayer:

    Corpse Prayer

    Be not afraid.
    I give thanks to god who created all things good.
    In christ, all things hold together.
    I am not entitled to life without death.
    I embrace sacred life.
    I embrace sacred death.
    I embrace the growing and crumbling in between.
    Smile at yourself in the silence…
    Jarem Sawatsky

    Sawatsky says to next imagine the moment you will be buried. Since I plan to be cremated, I saw that happening and breathed the Corpse Prayer again. I am not entitled to life without death.

    Two years after death, you are to see your body decayed. I see the place my ashes had been spread. Barely any shards are left. A cat walks on the ground and I think, “I love kitties.” I breathe the Corpse Prayer again. I embrace the growing and crumbling in between.

    Now I am to imagine myself 80 years after my death. My granddaughter (Courtney’s) child is old. I breathe the Corpse Prayer to her. Be not afraid…

    I smile at myself in the silence. Happy birthday to me!

  • No Ordinary Face

    Listening to the wind blowing, thoughts come to mind of how relative our perspective is. A prime example of that is weather.

    Bundled up out for a walk, Floridians see Michiganders riding bikes in shirt sleeves.

    Americans look into a brimming pantry complaining about nothing to eat.

    “No Ordinary Face” was first shared at an open mic. I have since been encouraged to share the story more widely. It certainly is a powerful demonstration of perspective.

    No Ordinary Face

    It has been over twenty years since I met her, but hers is a face I will never forget.

    I work as a wellness consultant, sometimes called a holistic healer. She had been referred to me by one of my colleagues, for a surgical support session. Physical healing happens more easily when you are emotionally and mentally prepared. Combining hypnosis and energy medicine I help people “imagine healing.” I knew she was facing an extensive reconstruction following serious burns, but nothing I had been told about her prepared me for what I was seeing.

    “So, you are scheduled for plastic surgery?” I asked. As she answered I jotted the date and time and hospital onto her chart without looking away from her face.

    With a poise not anticipated from her shocking physical appearance, she provided a brief highlight of her MANY previous surgeries.

    As she answered my unspoken question, without permission my chest with it’s now rapid-beating heart leaned forward ever so slightly, “I set myself on fire. I did not want to live,” she was not apologizing but merely helping me understand. “More than my not wanting to live, I thought no one would care if I died. I was wrong, nearly dead wrong.”

    “As the flames caught,” she continued, “I heard a voice yell ‘OPEN THE DOOR AND GET OUT OF THE CAR…. NOW!’”

    She went on to tell me that her life had been totally changed by that event. I thought to myself that was an understatement. There was no person who yelled. She recognized the voice as god, an angel, or some divine guide.

    As though proof of these changes and her true value, she reached in her purse and produced a photograph of a red-haired, blue-eyed toddler sitting on the most realistic rocking horse I have ever seen. “I have a daughter now… My daughter knows she is loved,” her voice trailed off wistfully as she placed the photo back in her purse.

    “There are other people who feel like no one cares but it is not true. I would not be here today had it not been for that voice… Someone cares. Call it what you want. I am living proof someone cares about each of us.”

    “I don’t really remember what I looked like before,” she added with twisted grin, “but I love this face.”

    When she had doused the car with gasoline, climbed in behind the steering wheel, and struck the match, her previous face had melted away like a candle burning in the August wind.

    This face. A face made from other body parts: abdomen ears, underarm eyes, back-of knee nose, and labia lips: this definitely was no ordinary face.

  • Winter Wonderland

    As a writer, generating material is as easy as paying attention to the burr beneath your saddle. On January 5 of this year wishing our granddaughter happy birthday pulled me back 19 years to the day she was born. The words “winter wonderland” — one of the nicknames for Michigan, my home state, were not the first on my lips.

    Drifts were piled outside that rivaled the summit of Mt. Everest. Visibility was reduced to the nose in front of my face. Temperatures had plummeted so low the gas line in our car was frozen solid even while it was parked in the garage.

    We were not getting to Tennessee for our granddaughter’s birth.

    January 5 that year I cried all day.

    There are times in our lives when our human efforts are just not enough to bring about what we want. I could not clear the roads, and I could not stop my granddaughter’s timed entry into this world.

    For several years our family has drawn names and made hand-crafted gifts. This past Christmas, I got my granddaughter’s name. I designed a deck of cards, and a companion book of inspired writings to correspond with each card, based loosely on the symbolism in a Tarot deck.

    Yesterday I received a gifted copy of The Crafty Poet: A Portable Workshop, by Diane Lockward. Our poetry group has begun working through this wonderful book. As I opened to the first chapter, our assignment, I read:

    Those who have caused us early pain and loneliness, the sources of our art: should we detest them or kiss their feet? ~ Wesley McNair

    A tear formed in the corner of my eye as I read my granddaughter’s words in response to my happy birthday message. “I’m so thankful that you’re my Gammie…”

    To which I replied, “And I’m so thankful that you’re my granddaughter. Sometime today or tomorrow draw a card from ‘Courtney’s Cards’ and see what the message is for your birthday. You can share that with me!”

    “I’d love to.”

    She picked the King of Spades.
    “The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good; but that God will make us good because he loves us.” ~ C.S. Lewis

    Amen.

    I am symbolically kissing the feet of the snow that has piled around my home this week this year freezing the water line into the house. Even the most bitter of our days will thaw out and the difficult will be made easy. Spring always follows winter…

  • Kaleidoscope

    Last evening I attended my brother-in-law’s wedding. He has been a care-giver for many years for the woman who is now his wife. The hospice spiritual care coordinator performed the ceremony. Theirs is not young love, and the decision for them to marry is not something everyone will understand, but it is precious none-the-less. When I crawled into a warm bed last night yoga was the only thing on my calendar for today. As I moved into my day, however, opportunities popped up. Like the pieces of glass in a kaleidoscope, my schedule has kept moving and showing me life and love.

    I was able to have lunch with my dear friend and her two young children. Her son will be two in December and her daughter is almost three months old. You can imagine how wonderFULL her life is!

    My afternoon was spent sharing with a colleague in the healing arts I met for the first time today. It was tender to appreciate one another and to witness the divine movement that brought us together. She understands the privilege to work with another. As Ram Dass says, we are all just walking each other home.

    This evening I will share a letting go ritual with a mom and her adult child who is in hospice care.

    As I let myself notice, it is obvious that everything that occurs in our days is an unfolding of the highest interest of all.

    This morning I watched a video talk by Mary Reed, author of The Unwitting Mystic. I think I would have noticed the unfolding anyway, but I appreciated Mary’s starting my day with that expanded awareness. This afternoon I also watched a video where Mary led a box exercise about our attention and shifting out of mind constructs. She says to put all of our thoughts (including all of our past, fears, beliefs, memories, etc.) into a box so we can let our mind be in service to and in partnership with Divine Love.

    Our precious life can be lived not wanting to be where we are and not wanting to feel what we are feeling. Mary says Mooji tells us to find that place which is effortless at rest within itself and be one with that. It would be marvelous if we can all slip into this place as easily as slipping into a comfortable pair of jeans or listening to a favorite piece of music.

    It was raining here again today as I was out-and-about. I observed how I had a choice to resit the rain or just notice that the wet and the wind was cold against my face as I had a judgment: uncomfortable. My body contracted. From my meditation practice I remembered simply to note aversion.

    Grateful for that awareness.

    Grateful for the opportunities to be present in my own life.

    Grateful for teachers and learners.

    The phrase, “We are each a single piece of glass in a kaleidoscope” keeps coming to my mind. We are not together by chance. We are not fastened together. Life is not some random shaking of the glass. Purpose and meaning are inherent in everything, and the placement of each piece and the subsequent shifting yields yet another beautiful view.

    May all beings come to the end of suffering.

    Here is a photo of the sweet little one I was with today:

  • Comcast

    Sacred Stories

    The Comcast technician was hooking up internet at their new home. She mentioned having lived in their previous home for 40 years.

    “Where was that?” he asked, seemingly just small talk.

    “On Lincoln Avenue. Just south of Glenlord Road. Did you ever notice the Johnny on the Spot Window Cleaning vans parked in the drive?” she asked.

    “No, I never did, but yesterday I did a service call for Johnny on the Spot. The guy’s name is Danny. I asked him why it was not called Danny on the spot and he told me there was a Johnny who had owned it and he had purchased the business.”

    Wow…. what are the odds?

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • White Doves

    Sacred Stories

    She was trying desperately to get to see her grandmother before she passed. On the highway she drove into a flock of white doves. She felt profound peace and she had the thought that her grandmother had passed.

    And she had….

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Guitar

    Sacred Stories

    Her dad loved playing the guitar and he had always encouraged her to learn to play. She was not at all drawn to it.

    When her dad passed, he left the guitar to her.

    A few months later, she felt compelled to pick the guitar up. She felt so close to her dad. She began taking lessons.

    Every time she plays the guitar she feels her dad’s loving presence!

    When we enjoy things our loved ones in spirit enjoy, we are all blessed….

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • May 20

    Sacred Stories

    It was not the one they thought they wanted, but she called the number on the “For Sale” sign in the front window as her husband walked around the outside of the manufactured home. The man who answered the phone said he could be there in about ten minutes.

    “This was my mom’s home. She passed and I am here from California needing to sell it,” he told them.

    “My mother-in-law passed a year and a half ago, so we understand how hard that is. When did your mom pass?” she asked him.

    “My mom passed on May 20th,” he answered.

    “My mom passed on May 20th, 2003,” she shared.

    “My mom’s funeral was on May 23rd,” he continued.

    “My mom’s funeral was on May 23rd!” she blurted out.

    Walking in the front door, they loved the home immediately. Giving him verbal agreement to purchase the home she left with a copy of the paperwork detailing the original purchase of the home. Looking it over later that evening she noticed the purchase date: May 20!

    You can imagine these two mothers were working in spirit to bring things together around this home for their children.

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.