Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: Matt Kahn

  • It’s a Gift

    And I said to my body, softly,
    “I want to be your friend.”

    It took a long breath. And replied,
    “I have been waiting my whole life for this.”

    ~ Nayyirah Waheed

    Speaking about his book, All for Love: The Transformative Power of Holding Space, Matt Kahn shares,”I look back at these times and all the stories that I tell — I’m telling some very deep stories, I’m telling some very emotionally stirring stories. But as I’m telling the stories, even when I’m recalling the deepest pain, I’m really recalling them from a place of gratitude, because I look back at my life and I really do see how everything was a divine setup for who I came to be and all the lives that I’m so blessed I have the chance to touch.”

    This has certainly been true for my life as well.

    In 1988 I was living with chronic pain. I was having bad days and worse days. I NEVER had a day back then that was free of pain.

    Experiencing relief of unrelenting chronic pain resulted in my passion for getting certified in Healing Touch.

    It is other-worldly to even imagine what would have unfolded differently without all of it.

    The focus circle is based on the work of Jerry and Esther Hicks (The Vortex), and the sample used below is adapted from one that was created by Arvind Singh.

    Step one is to identify what you think of as a current limitation. The sample I have used is: “I feel insecure about my body.” Write about whatever you are working with in your own words so you know what will help.

    Next, make a short, positive statement of what you do want: “A vibrant, healthy, sexy, body.” Be sure to avoid anything that might seem unrealistic or unattainable right now, like the following: “My body could be on the cover of a fitness magazine, “or “I can have my dream body in a week.” Again, using your own words for your goal.

    Now, easily start your change in attitude, belief, and behavior, from a place you have experienced because, as Singh says, it is hard to have emotional resistance about something that you have already had.

    1. I like the way that I feel in that new outfit.
    2. I have a desire to be healthy.
    3. I felt so vibrant that night in Cancun, just dancing all night.
    4. I feel my cells responding as I write this, getting brighter and healthier.
    5. Everything I have ever really put my mind to, I have accomplished.
    6. I’ve been told I have amazing eyes.
    7. What I’m experiencing right now has created a strong desire for change.
    8. I can see myself feeling confident and attractive.
    9. My inner-being loves me unconditionally.
    10. I appreciate the fact that I can deliberately achieve what I want.
    11. When I close my eyes I can see and feel my vibrant, healthy, sexiness.
    12. I am a beautiful and beloved creation.

    I always like to look again at my positive statement and notice I can actually feel that now.

    State your current positive statement, “I feel vibrant, healthy, and sexy now” and just relax a bit as you think about all the things that are wonderful that came to be out of a process. Plants, babies, houses, your goal for better health and well-being – they are all things that take a while to achieve and they are worth the time and commitment.

    All human beings are navigating life.

    Rather than be disappointed or angry or sad about what someone (even if that someone is you) is experiencing, realize that you might be moments from a breakthrough.

    While it is undeniable they are not pleasant, breakdowns can lead to breakthroughs. We end up having more compassion, more understanding, and more wisdom. We learn something helpful and share that with others.

    At first, we can feel out-of-control and overwhelmed with our feelings of despair and anxiety. It’s hard to see that what we are going through is often a gift wrapped in a not-so-pretty package. ~ Kristen D. Boice

    Its a gift that I have been waiting my whole life for!


  • He/She/They Have The Whole World in His/Her/Their Hands

    From my journal entry of an exercise during class on mediumship with Barbara Brodsky:

      You need not teach anything, Dear One, just live as your own consciousness evolves. You have been here before — but not exactly!

      Think for a moment about the park you live in now. “Separate” homes are owned and lived in yet you share the streets. Beyond that, you share the sky, the sun, the wind. Even those express with uniqueness in each case. One may be shaded because you face the east or west. EVERYTHING fits into this dynamic.

      You have been dreaming of human existence on Earth without fear of death. You have whiffs of the ripple effects. Yet, not you, nor I, nor THE ALL THAT IS knows exactly what will unfold. Like a storm. Much is known, but nothing is known exactly as it will be.

      Even the cookies that you bake time-after-time using the same ingredients in the precise measurements is subject to distinction.

      Child, what song lifts your heart?

      He’s got the whole world in his hands.

    ((The song began to play in my mind, including an ad lib verse of he’s got Deep Springs Sangha in his hands.))

      Notice how your thinking mind wants to argue a bit with the word “he.” Your heart does not demand a change in the word. Your heart agrees with the purity of the intention in that word. Notice how some demand a special application of the gender-sensitive pronouns, preferring “they” to “he or she.” Once the heart has opened to its true capacity, none of that will generate reactions.

      You will be present in the presence.

      You will have peace that passes understanding.

      Dear One, another song?

    ((Peace is flowing like a river, flowing out from you and me. Flowing out into the desert setting all the captives free.))

    I had shared a quotation from a film about not asking a person who had lost a loved one how he or she is but to ask instead, “What was your loved one like?” I included a link to the film with a disclaimer, “It was a bit too preachy for my taste.” My daughter commented that probably means she would like it! When my sister commented (asking me to define preachy), I took down the post.

    I looked up the definition of preachy: having or revealing a tendency to give moral advice in a tedious or self-righteous way.

    Then I looked up proselytizing: the action of attempting to convert someone from one religion, belief, or opinion to another.

    Somewhere in my bodies I can feel the space of Loving What Is (Byron Katie) and Whatever Arises, Love That (Matt Kahn).

    Oh, my…. Byron Katie says there are only three kinds of business, and asks: Whose business are you minding?

    Notice when you hurt that you are mentally out of your business.

    If you’re not sure, stop and ask, “Mentally, whose business am I in?”

    There are only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God’s.

    Whose business is it if an earthquake happens? God’s business.

    Whose business is it if your neighbor down the street has an ugly lawn? Your neighbor’s business.

    Whose business is it if you are angry at your neighbor down the street because he has an ugly lawn? Your business.

    Life is simple — it is internal.

    Count, in five minute intervals, how many times you are in someone else’s business mentally. Notice when you give uninvited advice or offer your opinion about something (aloud or silently).

    Ask yourself: “Am I in their business? Did they ask me for my advice?”

    And more importantly, “Can I take the advice I am offering and apply it to my life?”

  • Presence of Angels

    It has been a very full week. Early Tuesday morning I met my sister and brother-in-love at the hospital. She was having an angiogram, with the possibility of angioplasty or a stent, if necessary. After she was prepped for the procedure, we were able to sit with her as she waited. She mentioned that her acupuncturist, our close personal friend, had called the previous evening saying she was shocked to hear about the procedure. I looked at my sister and said, “There is your confirmation. Your heart is fine. If anything had been wrong, Leah would have known.”

    It was barely an hour later when the doctor shared the good news with us, “There was no blockage, and her heart is fine.”

    Later that day, I sat with a friend who’s adult son died in his sleep from an epileptic seizure last year. We used a process called Induced After Death Communication. I am not formally trained in his procedure, but IADC® Therapy was developed by Dr. Allan L. Botkin, Psy.D. It helps people find peace following the death of a loved one.

    You are to imagine having a conversation, or, as we did on Monday, you can write a letter to your loved one and let your loved one write back.

    This mother said she felt so much lighter afterwards.

    One of the women in our ongoing Grief Journey Group mentioned Mike Dooley’s book, The Top Ten Things Dead People Want to Tell You.

    The number one thing is this: I am not dead.

    Most people who do the Induced After Death Communication process believe their experiential reconnection is real, but Botkin says they do not have to believe in the authenticity of the experience to benefit from its profound healing effects.

    When I ask people to share with me anything that might be an evidence of communication from their loved one, most easily identify multiple experiences, even while continuing to hold a belief that what they know they experienced cannot be possible.

    It is vital to notice when your experience transcends your beliefs. Our beliefs can be like clouds that block the sun. The clouds don’t affect the sun, but they certainly affect our experience of it.

    It is safe to soften, or even release our beliefs so we can acknowledge and honor our experiences.

    Matt Kahn expresses it this way, “Having spent the majority of my adult life being divinely guided by the presence of my angels, I wanted to share everything the angels have taught me, while aligning your energy field into greater communion and communication with the angels you may or may not know are always with you. I can tell you first hand, in looking back on my life’s journey, if it weren’t for my angels’ love, guidance, patience, and inspiration, I don’t know that I would still be here to serve you and all members of our Love Revolution.”

    For several years I have been publishing a Sacred Story every Saturday morning, stories dealing with angels or the connection of persons with their loved ones who have passed. Because many of the readers of this blog also receive these sacred stories, I will not include the entire post here. I do encourage you to read Annabelle’s Own, if you have not already done so, but here is the happy ending:

    I was so surprised and pleased to get that gift card, but was even more taken aback when I read it. Ann had donated the gift certificate because of my Mom and had written in the From space of the card: Annabelle & Carol Brannan (my Mom).

    It truly was a gift from my Mom – aligning everything to get me there and draw that card. What a fun and memorable night! And it was the sign I’ve been needing, to know that my Mom is okay and watching over me every single day!

    Here is another of my favorite Sacred Stories, posted May 9, 2015.

    There’s An Angel for Everything

    She had recently relocated to Florida, and her son and family had already moved there, too. Her adult daughter so wanted to come join the family, but she was having a challenge finding an appropriate rental home (within her budget and one that would take pets!).

    After weeks of searching, on a particularly frustrating morning with no success, she threw her hands up, saying out loud, “I am going for a walk. If there is a real estate angel who can work on this while I am gone, I would be very grateful.”

    Nearing the end of her walk, and very nearly back home, she struck up a conversation about Florida plantings with a man who was working out in the yard. One comment led to another and she confessed her frustrating morning and her need for a house for her daughter. The man said, “I am here working today getting ready to put this house up for rent.”

    The house was charming, the rent was in their budget, and the owner welcomed pets. That house has been her daughter’s home for many years now.

    She titled this wonderful story, “There’s An Angel for Everything!”

    Just before I received the email message containing the story about “Annabelle’s Own”, I had the thought, “I need to stop scheduling the Sacred Stories for Saturday’s only and just publish the stories as they come to me.”

    Perhaps I was being divinely guided by the presence of my angels….

    Perhaps we all are….

  • Dealing with Devastation

      Please be extra gentle with yourself during these highly charged, transformative times. We are all so beautifully sensitive to the collective experience – and especially right now.

      We are sending our blessings to those in the many places where there are wildfires, floods, and approaching hurricanes. Peace, love, and blessings to all people, all creatures, and all lands everywhere. So many new beginnings are underway. ~ Matt Kahn

    This photo was posted on Facebook by my son-in-law, Doug Dodge, along with his comments about yesterday’s hurricane damage: One of my favorite places in the BVI’s (British Virgin Islands). This is a picture of one of the rental fleets. They have total devastation and nothing left. We have met some great people over the years that live there and our hearts go out to them. Their only income is tourism and they have nothing to offer now. Please keep them in your prayers.

    At the time of this blog’s writing many friends and family and people we may never know across the state of Florida and other parts of the southeastern US are dealing with the anticipated devastation related to hurricane Irma after seeing what she has already done. This all makes me aware about the need to plan for dealing with devastation.

    Some will blame God, others will blame humans for accelerated global warming. Many will be second-guessing choices they have made to build, live, visit, stay or go. It is natural to be awash with emotions as we anticipate and/or witness devastation, but blame and remorse are not helpful.

    Perhaps Ira Byock’s book, The Four Things That Matter Most, now updated for its tenth anniversary, can offer us some advise. Byock says four simple phrases “stating the obvious” allow us to experience the benefits of letting old grudges and toxic emotions:

    “Please forgive me.”
    “I forgive you.”
    “Thank you.”
    “I love you.”

    And there are things we can do. We can give money to organizations we know are responsible with their dollars and have good sense about what is helpful at what time. We can pray. We can also do Tonglen to assist in the processing of all of this collective emotion. If you are new to the practice of Tonglen or you will benefit from a refresher, please read “Terrorist Attacks and Tonglen.”