Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: Mahatma Gandhi

  • Out-flowing – Getting Free (By Setting Others Free)

    Thought for Today

    Imagine a whole world of beings deeply committed to expressing themselves with some kind of beauty, not necessarily physical beauty but beauty of generosity of spirit, of kindness. Imagine a world where this can flourish. Here we have the imaginal cells at work.

    So, if we talk about what conditions
    are needed for a world that can be at peace,
    all beings living in a wholesome way,
    not destroying themselves and each other,
    what’s needed here?

    Can you begin to imagine it?

    Because if you can’t imagine it,
    you can’t plant the seeds that can co-create it.
    ~ Aaron, Deep Spring Center For Meditation and Spiritual Inquiry

    Oh, my…. yesterday I came out of my center and went off like the olden days. I have distant memory of allowing fear to totally dictate my days.

    One very memorable moment from long, long, ago in a far-way land, took place when John and I were in St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands. I had been there previously without John so I knew that they drove American-made vehicles on the English side of the road. Navigating through the downtown was nothing short of terrifying, so I had UBER planned our trip to pick up our rental car at the remote end of the island near where we were staying. But when the guy came to bring me the car, he had come from the Airport!!!

    I made such a scene! He told me the remote location had closed. I told him I did not care about any of that, my contract was with the Red Hook location and that was where I was going to take him. He could hitchhike back to the airport, walk, or call for someone to come and get him. That was his problem.

    Oddly, I am not sure how it resolved itself, but I admit I have often imagined him telling the story of a berserk customer having a meltdown in the lobby of Frenchman’s Reef.

    Yesterday’s trigger was around politics.

    When I told Stacey I had gotten triggered by something political, she said, “How did you even get close enough to something political to get triggered?” I am grateful she knows my true nature is apolitical (not interested or involved in politics).

    This morning I woke up feeling shaky inside. It was the sort of feeling that would encourage me to take 1/2 of the Zanax, but I was going to my primary, Dr. Mancini, for the post-hospitalization visit and I did not want to mask my state. I was honest about how I was feeling, and she was beautifully present with me. I agreed to start on a low-dose prescription to lower blood pressure, and to continue the statin until we have results of the cardiac plaque test. As we navigated, I could feel myself regulating. Then I went with John to the pain clinic…. oy vey!

    After he was home and resting, I decided to ride my bike to pick up the new medication. This was the first time I had been back on my bike since the TGA event one week ago today. Riding really does balance me, but the transformation came not while I was riding, but while I was in line at Walgreens.

    The person in front of me (it was a long wait) was arranging to pick up her prescriptions next week. She said something about needing to wait until then (for financial reasons). She completed her consult, and left.

    When I stepped up to the window, I said I wanted to pay for her medications. It was such a spontaneous action, and it took approval of a manager, but we figured out how it could be done with my not having any information other than the total cost.

    I floated out of that store.

    Yesterday I shared a handout on Essentials of Self Care: Breath and Emotions with a colleague who is teaching a mindfulness course in the fall. The handout includes a quotation by Norman Vincent Peale, from The Amazing Results of Positive Thinking: Dramatic Proof of How Positive Thinking Has Changed the Lives of Millons… and How it Can Change Your Life!. His words of wisdom were written in 1959, but they have never been more timely.

    When people get rid of fear, anxiety and self-centeredness they develop a kind of ecstatic joy and delight in living. The world seems so different and newly wonderful that they tend to love everybody and everything. And they become so warm-hearted and delightful that people take a real liking to them. They change from withdrawn, worrying persons to ones with vitality and charm. They become “out-flowing” personalities; that is, personalities which now flow outward towards others in kindness and helpfulness. (p.60)

    Sunday I will be guest pastor at St. John UCC again. The theme is “Freedom From and For.” We will share a beautiful exercise on getting free from Reunion Living Ministry. Thank you, Betty Lue and Robert.

      Getting Free
      (By Setting Others Free)

      By freeing actively and willingly desiring that the key people in our lives be totally free and powerful, we get to be free and powerful ourselves. So here is an affirmation-prayer that may help us begin by freeing others, so that we can begin to free ourselves.

      I, (your name), want you, (his or her name), to be the highest, clearest, most powerful expression of God that you can be. I would not limit you in any way, knowing that only as I encourage you to expand, and grow, can I myself be free. So I fully support you in being and expressing all that you are.

      I want you to go where you feel called to go, to speak and act as you feel guided, and to express yourself in whatever ways seem right. There is nothing I do not want you to do, for I know that all movement is contained within the mind of God and always leads us to Him.

      I am at peace with whatever decisions and choices you make, no matter how they may seem to affect me. Since I know that God loves and supports me perfectly, then I know that however you choose to be with me must be a manifestation of that divine love and support. Because I trust God, I trust you. And because I trust you, I trust myself.

      So be free, be powerful, be unlimited. And know that I, (your name), want you, (his or her name), to be the highest, clearest, most powerful expression of God that you can be. I fully support you in being all that you are.

    In the blank I wrote: I, Debra, want all human beings to be the highest, clearest, most powerful expressions of God.

    We must be the change we wish to see in the world. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

    Amen.

  • Do It With Love

    “In doing something, do it with love or never do it at all.”
    — Mahatma Gandhi

    My husband, John, violated a long-learned rule of relating when he said “WE” would do something that I would never have agreed to do.

    What am I to do now?

    Gandhi’s point is to not do it unless you can do it with love.

    I did it with love when I was honest with John: It was not wholesome for you to have committed me to something without asking me first.

    Then, I did it with love when I was honest with myself: I had to either do it with love or not do it at all.

    The “IT” in question is detailing a house here in our manufactured home community for a friend. She has essentially already moved to be near her children and grandchildren. She hired someone to do the painting, but that did not go well for a variety of reasons. Partially, it did not go well because she had previously painted without proper information or experience.

    For some of it, there is no easy solution.

    Here is the before-and-after view of one corner in the master bedroom. It is amazing what a truckload of Fast ‘N Final Lightweight spackling compound can do.


    It is very good karma to lovingly clean up messes you did not make!

    I am reminded of our helping one of our friends move out of a house that our other friends were moving into.

    I am reminded of the closing of Holistic Alliance in 2005 when we had 6,000 square feet of space to be emptied out and cleaned, making way for the new owner.

    As we were there working on the house, one of our neighbors stopped in to see how it was going. She said how fortunate our friend was to have someone who was willing to step up and lend a hand. I reminded her who our friend is. Our friend works for our local hospice. She paved the way for John’s mom to get hospice care when needed, and then for his brother, Jim, as he was dying with lung cancer. Our friend had also assisted the neighbor’s husband.

    Yes, it is a clearly “compounded” mess. As I mused about all of this, I could see that I have left messes (physical and emotional) for others to deal with. We all have.

    And admittedly — even with all of our hard work this week — we have not been able to make all things right. Doing that will fall to some other at some other time.

    Obviously, universal implications….

    And, while I could not do a great job of everything, it is my intention to leave things better than I found them.

    We can all do that.

    More obviously universal implications….

    Things are improving.

    Evidenced by that before-and-after photo!

  • Muy agradecida. Muy agradecido.

    How can I wish for myself
    what I do not wish for everybody,
    including those I think of
    as my worst enemies?

    ~ Aaron

    Another drive across the state of Florida, this time for our second vaccine, and this time we know where we are going. We are going to an ALL Spanish-speaking pharmacy near Miami. (See: A Dios Mio )

    I have been transcribing Ram Dass speaking about Living and Dying.

    So, now once you want to be free—at first you want to hang out with people that keep you high—later, you want to confront the fires that catch you, you want to purify through those fires. You just find yourself drawn towards the things that are still catching you, so that you can get to the point where you can be in them but not lost in them. Where you can keep your space even when you’re in them.

    And dying is one of the big ones that sucks everybody in, and so part of the work is developing the ability to be with somebody that’s dying, or be dying yourself, and stay very clear and very present because those that are from religions that focus on the moment of death, which is most of the religions that have reincarnation in them, see life as a preparation for the moment of death

    Many people in this culture don’t want to talk about death. They resist aging. They want an easy way out of something that is inescapable. So, there is suffering….

    Our Canadian friends, Davey and Eli, had to leave Florida and go back to Canada or risk losing their medical coverage because he had been hospitalized with diverticulitis. The night before they left, we rang their doorbell, stepped back, and when Davey opened the door, John and I began to sing: Davey, Davey, give us your answer true, we’re half crazy, all for the love of you. Courtney’s won’t be a stylish marriage, without you there in your carriage, and we’ll be switched if she’ll be hitched without Davey and Eli there, too.

    His eyes met mine…. and he said softly, “The best part of your singing was getting to see your smile.”

    Davey has not seen me without a mask for over a year now.

    Dass says any time there is suffering, it’s a clue to where your mind is holding.

    My mind is holding to the question of how to see/be with my family (and meet our new great-grandson, Jackson) who are all in Tennessee. It is right on the way from Florida to Michigan. Visiting with them has always been what made leaving Florida something to be embraced. We saw Stacey and Doug and Adam and Brad and Christina briefly on the way down, but we have not seen our grand-daughter, Courtney, since November 2019. We have yet to meet the baby in person. We long for things to be normal again. To see smiling faces. To eat at the same table. To touch the same playing cards as I win 500 Rummy….

    We will do what we can to help us all be able to gather again without fear of getting or giving a virus that humans don’t yet have herd immunity toward. A virus that ended the life of our grand-daughter’s other grandpa. Paw Paw was in the hospital with the coronavirus and he did not get to meet Jackson.

    How can I wish for myself what I do not wish for everybody?

    Dass says when Mahatma Gandhi was dying he walked out into his yard, an assassin shot him three times. Our image of an assassin in America – we think of the Kennedy brothers, Martin Luther King, always there is horror and violence connected with it, and we imagine (if we can the imagine) that the moment someone is shot they are stunned or confused. Gandhi had just as much time as the others when he was shot, but when he was shot and falls over he just says, “Ram.” He goes out on the name of God.

    We, too, go out on the name of God. We will again drive to Florida’s East Coast.

    And for that we are very grateful….

    Muy agradecida. Muy agradecido.

  • Commitment to Joy in Trying Times

    Tell me, what is it you plan to do
    with your one wild and precious life?

    “The Summer Day” by Mary Oliver
    from New and Selected Poems, 1992
    Beacon Press, Boston, MA
    Copyright 1992

    It has been quite some time since I made a two-year commitment to a formal program of study. Deep Spring Meditation Center is offering the course and there are a lot of facets of the commitment: daily meditation practice, daily journal entries, alternating weekly Dharma talks and small group meetings with Barbara Brodsky, Aaron, and John Orr. I went reluctantly to this commitment. My conscious mind struggled with the group meetings happening on Tuesday evenings, the night our Sangha meets here in Saint Joseph Sangha. Because Sangha meets the first and third Tuesday evening, at times the meetings will directly conflict. Sangha is important to me. I am already absent part of the year.

    Another aspect of the hesitation is you know something like this is going to change you.

    The focus of the Dharma Path program, from Aaron:

    If you wished to improve your health, you might start to eat more wisely, to exercise, to meditate, and to bring joy to your life. After some time with such intentions, you would probably start to ask, “What is healthy eating? What exercises shall I do? What forms of meditation are there, and what practice would be most suitable? How do I invite joy?”

    You might then study nutrition, plant a garden and learn to talk with your vegetables; practice yoga, weight lifting, running or swimming and finally begin to look deeper at the body and what best supports wholesome interactivity of the body parts. You might regard your spirit body as an integral part of the whole of body, mind and spirit, and investigate what spiritual practices most help bring ease and support the physical, emotional and mental bodies.

    Finally, you might begin an in-depth investigation of joy and find the ways that living with mindfulness, with gratitude, with generosity, all support joy. And this is just the start.

    I am sharing with all who follow the Yellow Brick Road so you can make the choice to “go for the ride.” This phrase is common in our SCS/NLP trainings—you can set your intention to receive the benefits of this transformational change work. Mahatma Gandhi said it like this, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Consider this your invitation….

    A friend who has recently moved from St. Joseph to Holland is currently reading Shift into Freedom: The Science and Practice of Open-Hearted Awareness, by Loch Kelly. This friend attended Sangha in St. Joseph, and also on Pine Island, when in Florida. Shift into Freedom ties in perfectly with the Dharma Path. While you won’t be meeting all of the requirements of my two-year study, we can all get a jump start. Check out a free preview of Kelly’s book, including some amazing exercises available also on Youtube, like “What is here now when there is no problem to solve?”

    I love Mary Oliver’s poetry, and the words of the opening quote from “The Summer Day” are timely. So much is happening. Personally, politically; physically, emotionally; mentally, spiritually. It may be that nothing we will do over the next 24 months is more significant than this commitment to joy in trying times.

  • Daily Inspiration

      WORD FOR THE DAY

      As human beings,
      our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world
      that is the myth of the “atomic age”
      as in being able to remake ourselves.

      ~ Mahatma Gandhi
      (Sign up to receive the “Word for the Day” from gratefulness.org.)

    Signing up to receive inspiration daily (via email) is one of the many gifts of being here now during the information and technology age. Today’s thoughts from myriad sources really resonate to the hopes and dreams I have for all sentient beings, so this blog post is dedicated to you.

    On this day of your life
    Debra, I believe God wants you to know …

    … that when you see the light at the end of the tunnel,
    it is not beneficial to go out and build more tunnels.

    It was John Quinton who observed that politicians do
    that. Maybe you’ve caught yourself doing it, too. Just
    when things look like they’re getting better, you start
    seeing more things that “aren’t right,”
    or “could go wrong.”

    The Universe is essentially a friendly place.
    So friendly, in fact, that it will give you
    exactly what you expect it to.

    Isn’t that wonderful? Of course,
    it depends on what you expect…

    Neale Donald Walsch
    (Sign up to receive Neale’s “Daily Inspirations” at today@nealedonaldwalsch.com)

    For many years my friend has shared the Brahma Kumaris’ daily thought with me. Each of those comes with an image. Today’s image speaks louder than a thousand words:

    The message that accompanied the image is: The greatest act of generosity is the ability to see beyond the weaknesses of others, helping them to recognize their innate qualities and core values.

    In the USA, visit the Brahma Kumaris at www.brahmakumaris.org/us/o

    For their guided meditation online visit: www.just-a-minute.org

    The final gift I opened this morning was a delightful video interview with Shinzen Young: What is Enlightenment? If you are curious about moving beyond the pain and frustration of relative reality, check him out. His has studied the science and experienced the freedom that comes from making meditation a part of your life. Visit: Meditation is Real at https://www.shinzen.org/

    In closing, I will use yesterday’s message from Betty Lue because she is on the West Coast so those come in later in the day.

    Affirmations:
    Love is the way to peace.
    I quickly recognize, forgive and erase all blocks to Love.
    It is safe, fun and easy to love, only Love.
    All good comes from Loving without condition.

    Closing:
    Now is the time for us to engage one another in the dialogue of how to love and be loved.
    We can begin with our family and ourselves.
    We can ask one another: How can I love you better?
    We can forgive ourselves for being afraid to love with innocence and trust, as a child loves.
    We can choose again to remove (forgive and erase( all obstacles to being Loving always.
    We can undo the false beliefs and limited thinking that separates us from one another.
    We can choose to live in Love, with Love in our Hearts and Minds as Love in our world.

    Life works when we Love,
    Betty Lue

    Sign up to receive Betty Lue’s Loving Reminders at http://daily.lovingreminders.org/

    What an honor it is to “remake ourselves” as we live moment-to-moment with daily inspiration!

    P.S. The heading of the last daily inspiration I opened this morning: “No tap dancing around problems.” Amen and amen….

  • For You First

    I am not sure who the spiritual teacher was that first told me whatever message you receive for another, realize the message is for you first. That message or lesson or truth also applies to the other, but it is for YOU. Perhaps it was something learned in Ryan Elliott’s L-O-N-G intake form for hypnotherapy. I do recall hearing it from Angel Gail Konz. This morning I had opportunity to remember it again!

    “Don’t we all want to be needed?” It was a rhetorical question via text. A follow-up to a our earlier conversation.

    “Maybe not,” I wrote back. I could instantly see it related to Sunday’s sermon coming up. I recall how clear I was that this week’s talk was to be new: I was not to give the one I had recently shared in another church. “Let’s talk after dinner,” I responded before sending her this:

    The Recovering Hero Proclamation

    I have no need to save others.
    I have no need to rescue others.
    I have no need to outshine anyone.
    I have no need to out-think, out-perform,
    out-produce anyone – including myself.
    I do not need to know anything.
    I do not need to be an expert.
    I do not need to fix anyone, or any change anything.
    I do not need to dazzle, impress, or inspire anyone.
    I do not need to be the hero of my own story.
    In truth, I am organic, evolving, and fallible.
    I allow things to unfold naturally, and I trust the flow.
    I joyfully accept and experience my humanity.
    I need nothing.
    All already is.
    Blessed be.

    ~Aaliyah LivingWell
    aka Gina Dawn Gavaris
    GeneratingLove@aol.com
    www.GeneratingSolutions.org

    I kept working on the sermon, adding this teaching from Aaron:

    A more wholesome attitude might be rather that an initial ego intention, ‘I’m going to save the world,’ we start with the loving intention to see how we can dance with others and with the Earth and with spirit to co-create deeper peace and well-being for all sentient beings. We invite ourselves to be open and listen, to be guided, rather than having the ego dictate, ‘No, it should be this way.’ When you do this you find there truly are no limitations.

    I looked again at the original writings on the Drama Triangle and added this to the sermon notes:

    In 1968 Stephen Karmpan wrote an article about the Drama Triangle. On this triangle are three interconnected roles: Victim, Rescuer, Persecutor.

    A Rescuer often gains great satisfaction by identifying with their care-taking role. They are generally proud of what “helpers” and “fixers” they are. Often they are socially acclaimed, even rewarded, for what can be seen as “selfless acts” of caring. They believe in their goodness as chief caretakers and see themselves as heroes.

    Behind it all is a magical belief that, said out loud, might sound like, “If I take care of them long enough, then, sooner or later, they will take care of me too.” But, as we’ve already learned, this rarely happens. When we rescue the needy, we can’t expect anything back. They can’t even take care of themselves – much less be there for us!

    This morning, an extended time in meditation allowed me to bring to mind the opening line I had keyed in for the sermon: People want to be helpful, to be useful. We have ways of being helpful and useful that are more wholesome than others.

    F!A$#

    Something clicked and I could see how hard I had been pushing her to experience something other than what she was experiencing. I had been doing the same thing I was trying to get her to stop doing.

    Forgive me, Dear One.

    When others seem to me to be in internal conflict or when conditions are difficult or “others” are caught in effort rather than trust, I am being lovingly invited to totally trust God in all of life. As I remember that grace moves through all of our days I am able to relax and breathe and let go.

  • Opinion Columnist

    I applied for the position of an “Opinion Columnist” in our local newspaper. A good friend/writer colleague had suggested I apply.

    It might seem odd to those who might think a committed spiritual person may not have a lot of interest in the things of the world, but that is untrue. We care deeply about all of life, and we recognize our life in this world as the richest venue for development of consciousness.

    Admittedly, spiritual practices are not the most commonly recognized ways of making a positive contribution.

    For example, this quotation by Lewis Thomas that was the WORD FOR THE DAY from Gratefulness.org today: Society evolves not by shouting each other down, but by the unique capacity of unique, individual human beings to comprehend each other. An entire program of Nonviolent Communication has been developed by Marshall Rosenberg.

    When I opened the Thought for Today from Deep Spring Center, Aaron’s words fit beautifully:

    When groups get together to make a statement such as about the war, it’s easy for the fear elements of the group to become the most loudly heard. Thus in your present world it is all the more important that those of you who have some clarity and know how to be present with your fear with spaciousness, step forth and become an active voice for a force of change, a true expression of soul force, or satyagraha. You must be willing to actively involve yourself with the world rather than withdrawing from the world, for it is only by the modeling of you who are more clearly that others can learn such clarity.

    Satyagraha is the idea of nonviolent resistance (fighting with peace) started by Mahatma Gandhi. Gandhi used satyagraha in the Indian independence movement and also during his earlier struggle in South Africa.

    The best way to understand this idea is to be honest about what I am feeling. If I am feeling angry, I am adding anger to the pot. Fortunately, it is possible to desire change, to speak up against things like cruelty or injustice, and to do so with a heart of genuine love. I can even feel compassion for those I am calling forth a different behavior from.

    The Kusala Sutta from the Buddha speaks clearly to this idea:

    Abandon what is unskillful . . . One can abandon the unskillful. If it were not possible, I would not ask you to do so. If this abandoning of the unskillful would bring harm and suffering, I would not ask you to abandon it. But as the abandoning of the unskillful brings benefit and happiness, Therefore, I say, ‘Abandon what is unskillful!’

    Cultivate that which is skillful. One can cultivate the skillful. If it were not possible, I would not ask you to do it. If this cultivation of the skillful would bring harm and suffering, I would not ask you to do it.

    I will let you know if I get the columnist position. It is a nonpaid job, but my opinion might just be very valuable.

    In the meantime, just remember it is possible!