Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: loving-kindness

  • Loving-kindness and Compassion

    ​A friend forwarded a message this morning from Pax Christi USA, a movement founded in Europe at the end of World War II by Catholics who had suffered the terror and trauma of war. Quoting from the email content:

    Pax Christi has opposed war and all preparations for war. We do not endorse warmaking as a solution for any political or social dispute, but we demand that Congress exercise its responsibility and pass a War Powers Act immediately in order to block this immoral and unconstitutional action.

    I noticed the placement of the word “but” right away. In NLP and conscious communication the word “but” acts as a deletion or negation mechanism, often invalidating, erasing, or devaluing the clause that precedes it. It shifts the focus entirely to the information that follows the word “but,” making that information the final, most important impression. It seems highly unlikely that those sending out this message understood consciously that the word “but” is considered a “killer” word because it often negates previous positive statements.

    This paragraph was also included in the email message:

    We pray for an end to the violence, a cessation of the bombing, and for an embrace of nonviolent solutions that affirm the autonomy and human rights of the people of Iran and the Middle East.

    I might suggest an edit so that last line simply says, “affirm the autonomy and human rights of all people.”

    I am navigating a pain flare in my right hip. While this is not new, it has been many years since I have experienced this level of discomfort. Likely the current uncomfortable sensations in my body are not unconnected to the conditions in our world.

    I looked up the quotation “Hatred never ceases by hatred, but by love alone is healed” while the message from Pax Christi USA remained open on my screen. “That hatred never ceases hatred is an ancient, fundamental truth, most famously attributed to the Buddha in the Dhammapada (Verse 5). It teaches that returning hate for hate only perpetuates a cycle of violence and suffering, whereas loving-kindness and compassion are the only means to resolve hatred.”

    Loving-kindness and compassion…. Only and always, loving-kindness and compassion….

  • Packing, Deep Cleaning, and Blessing

    The one who says nothing good came of this is not yet listening.
    ~ Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés

    Preparations for our safe travels back to Michigan from our Pine Island Paradise are underway here—packing, deep cleaning, blessing…. this season is like none other. For the first time EVER, we will not visit with our PEEPS in Tennessee. That is emotionally hard.

    Below are excerpts of and hot links to some past blog entries. These come from my heart to your heart to be blended seamlessly with your current needs, spiritual or religious beliefs, and familiar support practices.

    Like panning for gold, make your own everything that is of value to you and simply release the rest. We don’t have time or energy to waste on what does not work.

    Inter-Are

    When we release some of the self-identity and separation, we come to feel our interconnection with everything. The tree dances with the wind not because the wind forces the tree but because the wind and tree literally inter-are. They share the same core of being. The wind is the tree; the tree is the wind. And so they dance together. You can dance with life in the same way. ~ Aaron

    Barbara Brodsky’s summation was simply, “When our practice comes from that place of interconnection, we are attending with skillful support.”

    At the relative level we appear to be separate, but at the ultimate level, there is no separate self. You can understand that no wave is separate from the ocean. The wind and the tree and you and I dance with life. We inter-are….

    Upekka

    People are navigating every one of the eight worldly conditions: loss and gain, good-repute and ill-repute, praise and censure, sorrow and happiness. To practice Upekka is to be unwavering or to stay neutral in the face of each of these.


    Keep Hope Alive

    From my journal 12-14-19:
    Releasing Negative Charge

    Today takes on a charge. Each day does this.

    The idea of lovingkindness being an active “taking in” of the day and allowing the charge to be released is relevant to all now.

    You were dreaming about the environment when you woke up this morning. You saw your friend’s email about the beach in Michigan being eroded. Some would just point fingers and blame. This only amplifies the negative charge.

    As you bring loving awareness to the situation — not denial, not ignorance, not sticking your head in the sand — you are allowing the transmutation, which is natural, to work for the benefit of all.

    You can mine support in everything. Here is an entry from Barbara Brodsky’s Daily Recollection, which can be used with or without a 108-bead mala.

    I remember the ten perfections and will practice them well:
    43rd bead: Generosity
    44th bead: Morality
    45th bead: Energy
    46th bead: Wisdom
    47th bead: Renunciation
    48th bead: Lovingkindness
    49th bead: Truthfulness
    50th bead: Resolution (clarity)
    51st bead: Equanimity
    52nd bead: Patience

    Here is the link to the Chant Book:FREE CHANT BOOK

    The next time we are face-to-face will be the deepest of joys never again to be taken for granted….

  • Forgiveness and Loving-kindness

    This morning I was catching up doing “Day One” of Pompe Strater-Vidal’s 11-Day Meditation Challenge on the 4 aspects of Immeasurable Mind, Loving Kindness, Compassion, Equanimity and Joy, that started yesterday. The message on loving-kindness practice was about how you have to begin by loving and being kind to yourself. I was directed to identify something that I do well, a trait of mine that I appreciate. (You may want to play along with me as you read this and identify right now a trait of yours that you appreciate.)

    The trait I identified was sharing freely of my professional skills/knowledge with people that I meet, such as I had done a few days ago with a young woman in the waiting room when I went to have an X-Ray of my back and hip.

    The woman volunteered that she was really uncomfortable, needing to urinate. I told her I was sure they had a restroom in this area, as I had not noticed she was pregnant. She went on to say that she was waiting to have an ultrasound so she could not go until after and the baby was kicking. She said she had always loved feeling the baby kick, because she had previously experienced a miscarriage. At this time, the kicks were very uncomfortable due to her full bladder.

    I told her how she could place her hand on her abdomen and tell her baby she normally loves feeling the kicks but right now they are uncomfortable and it would be very helpful for there to be no kicking until after the ultrasound. I shared about when I guided our daughter to ask our granddaughter to wait to be born until they could get her room ready. Courtney ended up being induced!

    I gave the woman a free download card for my “Welcome Baby!” audio designed for listening during pregnancy, preparing for labor and delivery.

    This morning as soon as I remembered the interaction with this expectant mom, suddenly I had a cellular memory of having been in Europe in 2011. On the climb down from visiting the Montségur Monument, we saw an expectant couple. I struck up a conversation, found out they were from the US and were having their first baby. As I remember it, the woman I was traveling with was very critical of my sharing with them about “Welcome Baby!”. She said it was rude and selfish and inappropriate to have an unsolicited conversation with them and then tell them about the “Welcome Baby!”audio.

    As soon as I accessed this memory from Europe, I had another simultaneous awareness of a time I had been punished when I was innocent. I was in third grade. The student sitting behind me tapped me on my back asking for help. She was having difficulty sight reading a word in her book. My guesses were very far off sounding out “Can-oh-wee” and “Can-ow” until I put the word into context. When I realized the word was “canoe” she and I both collapsed into a fit of giggles. All our teacher saw at that moment was me, turned around leaning over the other student’s desk, and the two of us laughing.

    We were called up front and we both got paddled. To add insult to injury, I was paddled with the paddle I had brought in for the teacher so she could paddle the boys for being bad.

    Today I know the core of forgiveness and loving-kindness waiting all these years to come into my innocent heart is my own sense that the boys deserved to be paddled.

    I opened my email to read this:

    Today’s thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

    We can practice forgiveness each day.

    Resentments have a way of creeping back into my psyche even after I have let go of them. I know that holding a grudge is harmful to my emotional health and can threaten my abstinence, but what can I do when I keep feeling anger toward someone?

    In the interest of recovery, in my own best interest, I can continue to forgive each day. I may not be able to forgive the person once and for all, but I can do it right now, just for today. With practice, who knows? Perhaps the resentment will disappear.

    When I remember that my own track record is far from perfect, I realize I could use some daily forgiveness too, both from others and from myself. True forgiveness reaches across time and touches everyone.

    Just for now, I can let go of resentments and forgive. If resentments come back, I can forgive again.
    You are reading from the book:

    Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

    I do not have permission to reprint this quotation from Inner Harvest, so I ask forgiveness from Elisabeth L.for sharing it.