Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: life and death

  • Spring

    There is a hard truth to be told: before spring becomes beautiful, it is plug ugly, nothing but mud and muck.
    I have walked in the early spring through fields that will suck your boots off,
    a world so wet and woeful it makes you yearn for the return of ice.
    But in that muddy mess, the conditions for rebirth are being created.

    ~ Parker Palmer

    No phrase brings me peace of mind any quicker than “Spring always follows winter.” In Michigan this year, as many other areas of the U.S., this is certainly a welcome thought. Spring is on the way.

    In the Imagine Healing process you use your imagination to generate detailed images of the stages for what you desire: short-term goal, mid-term goal, long-term goal. Although it won’t happen exactly as you imagine it, because you are able to have seen yourself surviving and/or thriving, your body and mind and spirit know how to do that.

    I’m thrilled to say that the digital version of the steps of Imagine Healing for preparing for surgery is available on Kindle for $2.99 (https://www.amazon.com/Imagine-Healing-Guided-Imagery-Help-ebook/dp/B013EYIK3W).

    I’m even more thrilled to say this process is not limited to surgery or even to medical or physical challenges. That is what Parker Palmer’s quotation really inspires in us.

    Because the fields of life (relationships, finances, attitudes, culture) are so wet and woeful, although it almost makes you yearn for the return of ice, the conditions for rebirth are being created by the current circumstances. Our lives—our world—is ready for us to vision the improvement we long for in all areas of our lives.

    Spring always follows winter….

  • Silver Ladder

    Sacred Stories

    When she was just three years old, she was at the lake with her older cousins and fell off the dock and into the lake.

    Running for help, the older cousins returned with her mother, who expected to see her floating face down in the water. Instead, she was sitting on the doc soaking wet.

    When asked how she was able to get out of the water, she replied simply that she had climbed up the “silver” ladder.

    Of course, there was no silver ladder.

    To this day (some 60 plus years later) she still remembers clearly climbing up the “silver ladder.”

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Cultural Peace

    Time is at once a limited commodity and an illusion. We an spend time, waste time, deny time, and transcend time.

    At a workshop with Zan Henigan Lombardo, the focus was on how she let chaos in her life create something beautiful. Her work of art is an impressive 30-foot watercolor painting with an equally impressive 30-foot poem along the bottom, created by an even more impressive artist/poet/teacher over many years.

    As is the case in most group settings right now, the most recent school shooting came up. People from all walks of life are asking why, and some are asking what can be done. This morning I read again Glen Snyder’s article (Lion’s Roar is from the Buddhist perspective) which invites some possible answers to the question how. The article is titled Why We Go for the Gun. Greg Snyder is a Zen Buddhist priest and President of Brooklyn Zen Center. You may want to take time to read his article for yourself. Here is a brief excerpt:

    This is not to say we should not work for legislative change, organize to reduce homicides and suicides in our communities, stand up to systemic violence and law enforcement abuses, critically engage our own consumption of violence as entertainment, and actively address our nation’s child-soldier problem (that is, gangs). But these efforts alone will not change the soil in which this violence grows. We must illuminate this culture of domination, grieve our shared karma, and introduce the sacredness of spirit and all life back into our nation.

    Glen’s article touched a sensitive spot for me. As my husband is in the living room watching TV in the evenings, I am often in the other room working on a jigsaw puzzle. Hearing the soundtrack only of what he is watching, the movies he watches all sound the same. I hear two hours of gun shots, guttural grunting and desperate breathing, along with the repetitive use of the four-letter-nasty. I told him I don’t think they even make individual sound tracks….

    Reading Glen’s article, the thing that was most salient for me is how what I think, say, and do contributes to our collective experience. This morning I appreciated today’s thought from the Brahma Kumaris:

    The ability to enjoy one’s own company is one of the greatest gifts life has to offer. Learning to turn my thoughts away from all my responsibilities at the day’s end and take my mind into a state of peace and benevolence enables me to carry greater and greater loads without feeling the burden. When my inner landscape is full of beautiful thoughts, everything I do is a pleasure. Gently, I calm down chaotic situations and offer solace to troubled minds.

    Perhaps enjoying one’s own company and cultivating the sweet sound of silence is the how of inner and cultural peace….

  • Dinner is Here!

    Sacred Stories

    A missionary was serving in a third-world country. He and his family had very little in the way of provisions, living in the mission with about a dozen others.

    One day there was absolutely no food for any of them but the missionary kept saying, “God will provide.” When it was mealtime, they gathered around the table set with dishes and utensils, but they had no food.

    The missionary started to pray, thanking the Lord for the food and for their day.

    As he finished the prayer, someone knocked at their door. It was two women saying they were very sorry for being late and asking if they had already eaten. The missionary smiled and said, “Well, not yet!”

    The women came in, delivered a wonderful meal, telling how early that morning the Lord told them to cook for that family and they were sorry for being late because they has missed the bus!

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Support

    This week has been rife with lessons. We experienced another school shooting, irrevocably changing lives while politics goes on as usual. The day before this shooting I was with people I consider to be of “like-mind” but even within this group, people are anything but like-minded about how we best bring forth peace.

    Dr. Leo Galland learned the answers to life’s questions from his son, Christopher, who lived to be 22 years old. Christopher was “a brain-damaged special needs child who challenged everyone he knew with his unpredictable behavior and uncanny insights.” The book of Christopher’s life is titled Already Here: A Doctor Discovers the Truth about Heaven. The following excerpt is what John Cubeta, an educational psychologist who had worked closely with Christopher, wrote about having lunch with Chris:

    One day, I was attempting to have a conversation with Chris after we had just bought a pair of cheeseburgers. I kept trying to get a dialogue going, but it would abruptly end whenever it was Chris’s turn to respond. I finally asked Chris why he didn’t answer me when I spoke to him. He continued to eat in silence. Nothing I said seemed to register. Eventually, he swallowed the last bite. Then he said, very plainly, “I didn’t want to speak while I was eating,” obviously annoyed that something so simple and obvious should require an explanation.

    It seems my life lessons also most often come in the mundane. Friday morning I started getting an error message when I tried to send email from my iPhone using my propitiatory address. The message would get stuck in the Outbox where it sat whirring for hours. Until the message was marked with a red exclamation mark that it did not get sent, the message could not be deleted. During this time I could also not use my gmail account on the phone. One message took 8 hours to clear.

    Verizon said it was an issue with the email host, Bluehost. Bluehost said Apple made some changes that had severely affected their servers but Bluehost was working on it. When things were not resolved the next day, I called Bluehost again but was this time I was told they could not help, I needed to call Apple Support. This evening I spent about an hour on hold, then about another hour with Apple Support, who finally told me I needed to call Bluehost. Apple Support stayed on the line with me while I called Bluehost one more time. I am exceedingly glad to report the email is working now.

    After the tragic news of this week’s school shooting, I wrote the following poem:

    Guns, Guts, and Grace or A Day for Lovers

    Seventeen gone home on Valentine’s Day
    Right and left make their points today
    All I do is kneel and pray

    It takes guts to be still
    To say it is ideas not guns that kill
    As hatred grows inside human will

    The blood is real it is bright red
    Alive is not the same as dead
    Lovers can lie together in bed

    We watch the news on TV
    Guns and guts is what we see
    Yet, grace is there inside of me

    Helen writes “I’m done with war!”
    Ain’t gonna study it no more
    Sick to death of it at my core

    But what if what we fear
    Is what is brought so very near
    Threatening all we hold so dear

    A day for lovers that’s for sure
    Calling forth hearts with love so pure
    Rather than minds all cocksure

    Debra Basham 2-15-2018 (WC 140)

    I’ve worn a Fitbit Charge 2 for over a year now. Although it is not REAL TIME, it gives my heart rate, and my resting rate. I have appreciated the feedback, and I have learned a lot about being present or not. My resting heart rate went down during the two days after John was taken to ER. (See In A Single Thought.) I have even noticed that chewing gum while walking helps keep my heart rate down. I am being more present as I chew.

    One thing I see clearly is how every moment along the frustrating process of getting support to fix the email problem, I knew I was dealing with the mundane. Years back I would have been pulling my hair out. The situation was frustrating, and having to make the calls and wait was inconvenient. But while how I dealt with it changed my life, it was not life changing….

  • Road Test

    Sacred Stories

    Unemployed for almost a month now, he drove a friend to a nearby town for a dentist appointment to make a bit of cash.

    His intention was to stop by a company in that town where he had previously applied for a job but not yet been hired.

    As he was dropping the friend off at the dentist office, his phone rang. It was the man from that company saying he kept popping into his mind, and asking, “Can I get you over here to take a road test?”

    “I am here in town right now. I will be right over.”

    He took the road test, so grateful to be one step closer to being hired.

    P.S. Two days later, he started work!

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Tip of a Wish

    The idea of a perfect parent, perfect partner, or perfect day makes some people nervous. They think of all the ways things don’t measure up. A headache, a heartache, or an unfulfilled longing seems to stand in the way of perfection.

    Imagine for a moment an eternity without sunshine, or rain for that matter. Perfection is organic, not static. This moment is perfect.

    Listening to a talk about what karma is and isn’t has me thinking about all of this. Karma is not punishment; it is cause and effect. Whatever we are experiencing at any given moment had its roots in the “past” and it is planting the “future.” This moment is perfect.

    Robina Courtin, quoting a Buddhist teacher says it this way, “Everything exists on the tip of a wish.”

    To fit with Valentine’s Day, I wrote a wellness tip about hugs:

    Hug for Health!
    by Debra Basham

    Debra’s Wellness Tips

    Well, it seems that love and companionship is good for your health. People in love and those with good relationships have lower blood pressure, less depression, and report feeling better over all.

    We like to hold hands, get hugs, and make whoopie. In most cases, love and wellness go hand-in-hand.

    This week, snuggle up. And it is not just people we love to touch. Petting our pets has health benefits, too.

    A dear friend commented, “I am single and have no pets. Does that mean I am destined for depression?” I wrote back telling her to take an I NEED A HUG sign to a busy place and give a blessing (what is called drishti in Hindi) to everyone who stops. I reminded her of Amma, the hugging saint.

    The wind is blowing today. I have an opinion it might be a more perfect day if it weren’t quite so windy.

    My abdomen is not quite as flat as I might think perfect.

    What I do with these thoughts, feelings, and beliefs really does make a difference now and long into the future.

    Rollo May said it this way, “If you do not express your own ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself.”

    What is on the tip of your wish today?

    I wish you a perfect day!

  • You’re Gonna Do Great Too

    Sacred Stories

    Her husband had recently passed. She was in bed, not quite asleep yet, when the downstairs door opened.

    She heard the scuffing off of shoes then the pitter-patter of stocking-clad feet coming up the carpeted stairway.

    She felt him sit at the side of the bed, just like he always did.

    He patted her leg and said, “I miss you, but I’m doing great. You’re gonna do great too. I love you.”

    And then he was gone.

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • In a Single Thought

    It was mid morning on Thursday. I was on a FaceTime call with a client. The goal of the session revolved around not getting thrown out of balance during crisis times. The desire was to stay grounded even in trying circumstances.

    I like to do divination for guidance when I am working with someone to help me stay unattached. Thursday I used Angelic Messenger Cards: A Divination System for Spiritual Discovery, by Meredith L. Young Sowers. Two cards fell out. I made some notes from those two cards and from the Daily Word:

    Need for greater calmness and inner peace.
    Ask yourself, “Whom will this choice benefit?”
    Relinquish struggle and accept the truth of your angelically-inspired perspective.
    Move into the perspective of your divine nature.
    Claim your highest self and release the needy aspects of your life that mentally hold you prisoner.
    Believe more in yourself and your divine guidance
    In a single thought I can redirect my attention toward the peace of knowing I am protected.

    My phone rang. It was my brother-in-law. I could not figure out how to put the FaceTime call on hold to answer, so the call went to voice mail. “Call me immediately.”

    Moments later I was on my way to the hospital where my husband was being taken by ambulance. He had reported having a horrible stomach ache and then he lost consciousness.

    The day spent in the hallway of the emergency room (there was no room in the inn) was stressful. About dinner time he was admitted for observation. A few hours later I was driving home without him.

    The following day he was to be discharged as soon as he had an echo cardiogram, but ER was so busy again they could not get to him. Mid afternoon we were still waiting. When asked how we were holding up, I gave an honest report. “We are listening to elevator music on the TV, we both have our nose in a book, and we have decided to consider it a voluntary library day.”

    About 5:00 they decided to send him home and schedule the echo as a out-patient followup.

    Simply put, we could not control the circumstances. We could choose the thoughts and feelings and experience we were having.

    We had not wasted our day. We took the late discharge as an opportunity to stop for Thai food on the way home.

    I was taught to pay attention in client sessions and consider the message is for me first. That was obviously true last Thursday….

  • A Message Directly from God

    Sacred Stories

    She wanted to hear her dear friend’s guest sermon at an out of town church, but she and her husband had promised to usher at her own church that Sunday. As she was preparing for church, she was moved to gift a woman from her church with a small book. The took the book with her.

    Arriving at her church she learned that this woman’s son had taken his own life. After ushering she drove to this woman’s home and was able to be with her friend in her immediate loss and pain.

    Without “knowing” of the tragic circumstances, she knew she had received a message directly from God.

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.