Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: life and death

  • Hey Ma Durga

    I wrote this poem a few days ago while I at the 2018 Deep Spring Meditation Center retreat at Oakwood Retreat Center.

    Vipassana

    V-vast are the stories
    I-incessant the grasping, clinging, and aversion
    P-passing away; what passes away
    A-and where does “it” go?
    S-Silence, stillness, smiling or sometimes sobbing
    S-Sitting, stepping, satiating
    A-Ananda, Hey Ma Durga, Hey Ma Durga
    N-no ‘I”, no “you”, no “here”, no “there”
    A-all of as sudden after all of these lifetimes

    Settling back in to ordinary life after retreat is always a bit challenging. Walking back from the dining hall following our last breakfast I was asking how to keep this retreat mindfulness at home. A voice within began to speak.

    Think about a firefighter. How different the conditions at home on a Saturday morning enjoying blueberry pancakes with the family from being at the fire hall waiting for a call, or dashing to the fire truck when a call comes in, or pulling a body from a mangled vehicle. Has the firefighter changed? No. Different conditions house different mindfulness.

    I am sure you will be hearing more about the retreat as the weeks unfold, but for today, I am moved to introduce you to Anandamayi Ma, a 20th Century Indian Saint. I first heard her name when John Orr shared the following quotation.

    “My consciousness has never associated itself with this temporary body. Before I came in this earth, I was the same. As a little girl, I was the same. I grew into womanhood, but I was still the same. When the family In which I had been born made arrangements to have this body married, I was the same… And, in front of you now, I am the same. Ever afterward, though the dance of creation change around me in the hall of eternity, I shall be the same.”

    The central theme of all her words and expressions is this: Life and religion are one. All that you do to maintain your life, your everyday work and play, all your attempts to earn a living, should be done with sincerity, love and devotion, with a firm conviction that true living means virtually perfecting one’s spiritual existence in tune with the universe. To bring about this synthesis, religious culture should be made as natural and easy as taking our food and drink when we are hungry and thirsty.

    An ecstatic child of ecstatic parents, she became a famous saint who like many other female Indian saints stood on the edge of several religious traditions, and in the midst of none. When we chanted “Hey Ma Durga,” something deep and familiar flowed black into my soul. I hope I am forever able to live her message of everyday mindfulness.

    My heart was touched deeply by my retreat time. So, as I left the room I had shared with Claudia for eight days, this is how I left my bed linens on the bed.

  • Retreat Reminiscence – Heading Home

    As Claudia and I are heading home today, it seems appropriate to close my retreat reminiscence posts with a visit to Still Waters. I went to Still Waters for the first time in December of 1995. We are so blessed to have Delcy Kuhlman’s vision of a space dedicated to contemplation right here at Still Waters in Berrien County, Michigan.

    Still Waters is not fancy, but the walls have witnessed sincere practitioners for decades.

    Keep Claudia and me, along with all the others who have been on retreat this week, in your thoughts and prayers as we travel today. I trust you have been blessed by these memory musings. May all beings find peace.

  • Tri-fold Photo Frame

    Sacred Stories

    They were dealing with the loss of their infant daughter differently. He was living with his other two children. She was living with all three.

    He purchased a bi-fold picture frame and put a picture of the two children in it.

    Her first thought was, “Where’s our other daughter?” but she didn’t say that.

    A couple of weeks later, she asked him if he would mind if she got a tri-fold frame to replace the one he had purchased. He said, “Sure, I’ll find something else to put in that. What do you want to put in it?”

    She told him, “I want to add a picture of Ella,” and as she said Ella’s name, the box fan next to them turned on by itself.

    He said, “I didn’t touch that. I did NOT touch that.”

    She responded, “Ella wants her picture in there too.”

    He answered,”Obviously!”

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Retreat Reminiscence – Friday

    Phenomenal Retreat is the review of Oakwood Retreat Center in the fall of 2015.

    Oakwood Retreat Center is a wonderful property, and one of my most sweet memories is hearing the migrating song birds as they gathered in the woods near the meditation hall.

    Being able to spend time in nature is one of the gifts of retreat. I hope you are enjoying nature this week, too.

  • Retreat Reminiscence – Thursday

    November, 2014, we were at Camp Geneva in Holland, Michigan. It was an amazingly gorgeous setting on the shores of Lake Michigan.

    One of my most tender memories was of sharing a room with Claudia and Wayne. Claudia and I have been roommates many years, but Wayne was with us this time because he was already dealing with Alzheimer’s Disease and not able to stay home alone.

    Claudia and I did not go on retreat last fall, but we are again roommates this week.

    Here is the link so you can read about Camp Geneva.

  • Retreat Reminiscence -Tuesday

    While on retreat, stuff comes up. While it is common to think what comes up is about someone or something else, it is always coming from within. With a bit of kindness, awareness can expand, leaving a space of love and gratitude.

    The October, 2013, retreat in Howell, Michigan, presented me with roommate stuff.

    I was rooming with two other women, neither of which I know very well. After the last sitting meditation of the first evening, two of us went to bed. It was some time later the third came in to our room, turning on lights, opening and closing doors, opening (or crinkling) something, as she did her bedtime preparations.

    The annoyance seemed to go on and on and on and on, but, thankfully aware of the gift that is ever-present, I was able to have compassion for my roommate and myself trying to sleep.

    I forgave myself for any time in the past I was interrupting another.

    I made up stories about how this woman must live alone so she was not used to being respectful of others.

    I acknowledged the challenge she must be having trying to find everything she needed in the mostly darkened room.

    Most of all, I was able to ask, “Can I keep an open heart for all of us through all of this?”
    As I was able to lie there in the stillness, I was infinitely grateful for the practice and for this woman who was gifting me so beautifully….

    As one of the meditation teachers said, there is no experience in the world that is more rich in practice, more nurturing to body and soul, than retreat. We may be going on retreat with the intention to get away from it all, but while we are on retreat, we find ourselves in love with the ALL THAT IS.

  • Retreat Reminiscence-Monday

    This week I will be at Oakwood Retreat Center in Selma, Indiana. I will be practicing noble silence along with all of the other retreat participants. While noble silence, or even retreat, may seem a strange experience to many, it is balm to body and soul.

    This week it might be fun for you to come with me along a beautiful path called “Retreat Reminiscence” by re-reading previous blog posts about past retreats I have attended.

    Our first stop is at the Emrich Retreat Center at Parishfield—nestled among 5,000 acres of state park land in Brighton, Michigan. The date is June, 2012. Click here to read Retreat 2.

  • Crossroads

    Sacred Stories

    When she got into her car “Crossroads” was playing on the radio. It was one of her son’s favorite songs.

    See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads
    So you won’t be lonely
    See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads
    So you won’t be lonely
    See you at the crossroads, crossroads
    So you won’t be lonely
    See you at the crossroads, crossroads

    It was the day before what would have been his 39th birthday….

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Tree of Hope

    Right after posting this blog, I was gifted a box of blank cards titled “Tree of Hope.”
    I am posting again, with the new title and with the front of the card now included.

    Deep Spring Center
    Thought for Today

    “If you wish to live in (a certain city)
    what might block you from manifesting that move?
    Is there any question about your worthiness
    to live in a place that is most delightful to you?
    Any question about fear of getting what you want?
    The question here is not where you will live
    but how will you manifest the situation you seek,
    and that must be asked by,
    What blocks that manifestation?’
    Because when the blockage is gone
    then it can be allowed to manifest.”
    ~ Aaron

    Last week our big tree was removed. I have been sitting with the question Barbara Brodsky asked me about whether the tree still lives in my heart. (See my previous blog, “Does the tree still live in your heart?“) It took a few days to honor the intense sadness, but a couple of times I could see the empty space in the yard. I was able to feel an open space in my chest and abdomen. I was reminded of the way organs and limbs that have been removed remain energetically present. I also thought of all of the loved ones in spirit whom we feel and experience as here with us after the physical form is gone. My prayer became to allow my majestic tree to live in my heart.

    Monday afternoon our park owner stopped by our house because our water meter was needing some repair. After the repairs were made, I mentioned the removal of our tree. I told him how sad I had been over the removal. “I am not trying to get anyone in trouble, but you need to know that the tree workers told me they found no rot.”

    We walked out back together and stood together in the opening under the sun where the tree’s branches used to wave.

    “I am sorry,” he said, “I would have sworn this tree had rot in the crotch and was infested by ants.”

    Looking into his face, I shook my head, and repeated, “The workers told me they found no rot.”

    I felt the spirit of the tree bolster my heart as I continued, “This park is your business, but it is also our home. We need to be able to have open communication and to trust and respect one another.”

    “I could not agree more,” he replied. My heart felt his sincerity. It was as though the magnificent old tree was smiling at us. He, too, genuinely felt the loss. Maybe not his own loss, but definitely mine. He said he is still planning to remove other trees.

    “Is there something I could have done differently?” I ventured.

    “I have learned the importance of not dismissing a communication,” he said as we parted ways.

    I trust the old tree will continue communicating. I wish to live in a world where magnificent old trees and property managers recognize their value and contribution to our planet. I wish to live in a world where men listen to women and women forgive men when they don’t.

    It still remains what will become of the potential of the space here in our yard. A gazebo? A flowering tree? A small labyrinth? A fire pit?

    When we stop fighting with what is, we begin to see the infinite possibilities.

  • Infinite Possibilities

    Deep Spring Center
    Thought for Today

    “If you wish to live in (a certain city)
    what might block you from manifesting that move?
    Is there any question about your worthiness
    to live in a place that is most delightful to you?
    Any question about fear of getting what you want?
    The question here is not where you will live
    but how will you manifest the situation you seek,
    and that must be asked by,
    What blocks that manifestation?’
    Because when the blockage is gone
    then it can be allowed to manifest.”
    ~ Aaron

    Last week our big tree was removed. I have been sitting with the question Barbara Brodsky asked me about whether the tree still lives in my heart. (See my previous blog, “Does the tree still live in your heart?“) It took a few days to honor the intense sadness, but a couple of times I could see the empty space in the yard. I was able to feel an open space in my chest and abdomen. I was reminded of the way organs and limbs that have been removed remain energetically present. I also thought of all of the loved ones in spirit whom we feel and experience as here with us after the physical form is gone. My prayer became to allow my majestic tree to live in my heart.

    Monday afternoon our park owner stopped by our house because our water meter was needing some repair. After the repairs were made, I mentioned the removal of our tree. I told him how sad I had been over the removal. “I am not trying to get anyone in trouble, but you need to know that the tree workers told me they found no rot.”

    We walked out back together and stood together in the opening under the sun where the tree’s branches used to wave.

    “I am sorry,” he said, “I would have sworn this tree had rot in the crotch and was infested by ants.”

    Looking into his face, I shook my head, and repeated, “The workers told me they found no rot.”

    I felt the spirit of the tree bolster my heart as I continued, “This park is your business, but it is also our home. We need to be able to have open communication and to trust and respect one another.”

    “I could not agree more,” he replied. My heart felt his sincerity. It was as though the magnificent old tree was smiling at us. He, too, genuinely felt the loss. Maybe not his own loss, but definitely mine. He said he is still planning to remove other trees.

    “Is there something I could have done differently?” I ventured.

    “I have learned the importance of not dismissing a communication,” he said as we parted ways.

    I trust the old tree will continue communicating. I wish to live in a world where magnificent old trees and property managers recognize their value and contribution to our planet. I wish to live in a world where men listen to women and women forgive men when they don’t.

    It still remains what will become of the potential of the space here in our yard. A gazebo? A flowering tree? A small labyrinth? A fire pit?

    When we stop fighting with what is, we begin to see the infinite possibilities.