Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: life and death

  • Kyle Texas

    Thanks in large part to Zoom technology, our spiritual community now stretches across the globe. When one of our friends, who lives in Texas, let me know her mother had just pasted about an hour earlier, I quickly sent an email message out to the other members with that news. People would want to offer support.

    Another member, who lives in North Carolina, sent me an email asking if I have the address of our friend in Texas.

    I checked and discovered that I did not have a mailing address in her “contact” file but a quick search brought up an email message I had received from her about six weeks prior. She had registered for the fall class but did not receive the Zoom link. As proof that she was registered, she included in that email a copy of her registration. That had her physical mailing address in Kyle, Texas!

    I sent the mailing address along to our friend in North Carolina who had requested it saying:

    It is a holy happening that I do have her address!

    So grateful for the support from spirit that navigates all these strands of our loving connections easily….

  • Mantra for Handling Strong Emotions

    Following some online sharing, she emailed a Mantra for Handling Strong emotions to a friend who lost her husband 6 months ago, had her home damaged by a hurricane, and is now feeling a lot of fear.

    Less than ten minutes later she received a voice mail message from the woman who had shared the Mantra with her originally a few years ago! That woman was in a rehab facility and was asking for the Mantra to be emailed to another friend.

    The Mantra was composed by the Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hahn, who is known as a philosopher, teacher of peace, and all things positive, and obviously, LIFE is bringing that information forth for all who can benefit from it at this time.

    Here it is, along with the original notes from the woman who shared it with me:

    Make sure you physically “BREATHE IN” or “BREATHE OUT” at the appropriate place when reciting each line of the mantra; as the actual breath in or out is part of activating the Energy. Use it, every time the emotion arises again, because you are changing how you react to that emotion. It works.

    The “live word” of the Mantra replaces any “strong emotion” being worked on; with the appropriate feeling (Fear, Anger, Anxiety, Impatience, Blame, etc.). I will do the example with fear. Also remember that sometimes anger is an unknown component of the fear that a person is holding, because they are not able to control the fear,…. or Fix it.

    ” Breathing In, I’m aware of the fear,

    Breathing Out, I smile to the fear (yes, these are the appropriate words);

    Breathing In, I recognize fear as Energy,

    Breathing Out, I express Gratitude for Energy;

    Breathing In, Energy and Fear are Power,

    Breathing Out, I can safely hold Power;

    Breathing In, Power supports Wholesome Change,

    Breathing Out, I Invite That, which is for The Highest Good! ”

  • Tara: Transforming Suffering

    The sharing of their small group included looking at “What is my portion of THE pain that I am healing in this lifetime?”

    She spoke awareness of a sense of her voice not being heard, including times when it was especially painful because it occurred within the spiritual community. A few examples were given, inviting everyone to look at this collective pain around patriarchy. Within our society, our government, our religions — men having held the power and women having been largely excluded from it. While we can see evidence of progress, males and females alike bear wounds and scars.

    One of the other women in the group mentioned a Tara Mantra practice that might be helpful, including a chant to Green Tara which had been recorded by one of their dharma sisters.

    48 hours later she sent an email saying: This came in my email today 🙂

    Taking Refuge in Tara: How the mantra-based practice of the “Mother of all Buddhas” can transform suffering.

    Note* This excerpt is from an online article:

    For women, Tara offers representation and empowers them as they engage in spiritual practice. For millennia, religion has been dominated by male iconography, male clergy, and the idea that women lack the capacity for full spiritual development. To have the opportunity to engage in a practice where the central figure is female is affirming.

    To see that female figure embodying ultimate wisdom and compassion can bring a fundamental sense of validation and help to heal the impact of years of subjugation and marginalization. One of Tara’s origin stories reflects her experience and understanding of this inequality.

    ~ The Lion’s Roar: You Are the Divine Feminine

  • Dowagiac

    She lived in a small town in Southwestern Michigan, but was in Chicago getting her tattoos. Not that kind of tattoos. She was going to have 25 radiation treatments.

    The skin must be marked before radiation is given, as it ensures that the radiation beams to treat the cancer are applied in the correct spot. Ink tattoos are most frequently used, as they don’t come off once they are placed.

    Tim asked where she was from. “Berrien Springs,” she said. He asked where that was and in her sharing the details he asked if it she knew where Dowagiac was.

    “I grew up in Dowagiac,” she exclaimed.

    The word ‘Dowagiac’ is inspired by a Native American word meaning ‘foraging ground,’ referencing abundance in food and game.

    Tim became very animated telling her that he had spent most of his childhood summers in Dowagiac with his grandparents!

    At her very core she felt such confirmation.

    She had deep knowing she was going to be okay, and that the divine had given her this connection.

    She was ready.

    Thank you, God. Thank you, Tim. Thank you, Dowagiac.

  • Three Empty Chairs

    They had just taken their seats at the funeral. Their friend, Sandy, had passed so unexpectedly after a car hit her in the grocery store parking lot. “Judy should be here with us,” Kay said.

    “There are three empty chairs in our row,” she responded, “so let’s save the one next to you for Judy.” Judy was Sandy’s cousin. Judy had passed not long ago.

    Moments later as Judy’s daughter, son, and daughter-in-law slid into their row, Judy’s daughter sat down in the chair they were “saving” for Judy.

    “You know, we were saving that chair for your mom,” she said to Judy’s daughter.

    Judy’s daughter flashed a tender grin before quickly replying, “Well, then I guess I will just have to sit on her lap…. Or better yet, I will let her sit on mine!”

  • Tire Swing

    Her dad had passed. Her mom some time before. The family home was being sold. Especially her sister was having a hard time letting the house go.

    Sooooo many memories. Such an amazing piece of property. Gorgeous trees. On one of them hung a tire swing their dad had built.

    Generations of their family had enjoyed that tire swing….

    They hired a couple of young guys to help with getting the house ready to go onto the market. She knew all was well when she caught sight the workers taking a turn on that old tire swing when they thought no one was looking!

    She knew their memories did not just live in his house, or in the swing he built!

    Her dad lives on in the house and in the swing he built, but his memory and his love lives on in their hearts.

  • God Numbers

    It was again time for her to have blood work before an upcoming physical. Always a stressful event with her history of white coat syndrome.

    As she was getting dressed, her bedroom clock read 11:11.

    It is said that the number 1111 holds the god number, and it is a sign of blessing, angelic presence, and the message that all is well.

    As she left the doctor’s office, her car clock read 1:11.

    There was the god number again — all about purity, self-love, and fresh starts.

    Sharing this news with a friend, she wrote, “That feels significant to me. I’m praying for healthy results. Love you and our angelic connection!”

    *Note – As I was posting this message my clock read 5:55. There are no bad numbers, and seeing multiples is a reminder that there are many unseen helping hands. Reading this online about angelic number meanings, “The universe (god) can communicate its deepest secrets through the form of repeated numbers.”

  • I Can Feel It In My Bones

    (Re-posted from Facebook with permission.)

    For me and my loving partner, this is a week of infusions, vision testing, blood work and doctor conferences. But thanks to the University of Michigan’s Gift of the Arts program, it is also another week of original art decking sterile hallways, charming clay works in cases near waiting rooms and glorious music filling the lobby while families gather, doctors and nurses take a quick lunch break and patients await the next appointment of the day.

    What a blessing for us….an incredible “coincidence”….musicians we love with whom we share a cherished history had been scheduled this day between my appointments!! As Larry guided me to a comfy chair up front, Laz, San and Emily broke into a spirited version of “I Can Feel It In My Bones,” a song they taught All God’s Children Choir more than 20 years ago! And even more astonishing, Bones has been very much on our minds as it’s the very song AGC will be performing for this coming Sundays Interfaith Action Celebration of the Harvest and the Harvestors!!

    This beloved, multitalented trio played a wide variety of tunes for an hour today. We’re sure that we were but two among many whose spirits were lifted through the gift of music! Thank you U of M….and thank YOU Sandor Slomovits , Emily Slomovits and Laszlo Slomovits! We carry each of you in our hearts!

    See Gemini Music for Children and Families


  • Dream! Divine Timing

    She received this text message from a friend early that morning, “I’d like to share a dream I had last night. Please let me know if you are available today or tomorrow for a call.” She replied saying she was awake and available but heard nothing back from her friend.

    That afternoon while driving from her doctor appointment to a farm market in search of local honey, she received a phone call from the homeowner of their seasonal rental for many years. Since she had not grabbed her headset when she left the house, she did not answer, but dialed as she got back into her car with the coveted honey. They were just a few days short of one year since Hurricane Ian swept devastation through their beloved Florida community. It was a nice long catch-up call.

    Knowing she’d been gone a long time, she sent her husband a quick text message letting him know she was going on to the grocery store.

    A beep-beep came from the car pulling in right behind her, and out jumped the friend who had written about the dream! They sat on a bench just inside the store and took all the time they needed to look deeply at the symbolism in the dream before joyfully going on to their separate shopping chores.

    Coming around the corner of an aisle and seeing one another it flooded into her awareness how divine the timing had been for them to pull into the parking lot at the exact same time. “If I had not had that long conversation I would have been here and gone before you arrived.”

    Looking at her phone later she noted that she had been on the phone conversation for 26 minutes!

    Their meeting was obviously not simply about the “dream” but also about Divine Timing….

    Nevertheless, do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years is like one day. ~ 2 Peter 3:8

  • Mints and More Mints

    It had been almost 18 years since her husband had passed, at the young age of 50, so she had driven the many hours to join a local nature group for a kayaking trip once again as a “single” person.

    Arriving at the hotel to check in, there on the reception desk were his favorite mints! (See “Mints” posted December 27, 2014 in Sacred Stories.)

    A photo of the two she took was sent to a dear friend who had witnessed the appearance of the mints so many times and places over all these years. The following day, she received a photo back from that friend, saying, “On the conference table at our appointment with the Elder Law attorney’s office this moment.”


    And the attorney added a very significant detail, “The funny thing about those mints is that I just bought them yesterday. If you had been here before, they would not have been here. There would have been life savers in the bowl instead.”

    The closing line from that “Mints” 2014 post, “And she knew now that love truly is eternal. His sweet mints prove it to her over and over and over.”