Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: life after death

  • An Experience of Grace

    Wowser, it has been a wonder-filled day. Six women were present for deep sharing following the 6:30 a.m. meditation. Three of those women I have known previously, two are new friends.

    Right afterwards I scored a Royal Flush and earned a whopping 5,000 points on the poker machine in our guest bath. In the decades we have had that game, neither John nor I have even come close to that score! I think the highest previous score was 500 points. The Royal Flush can be formed 4 ways (one for each suit), giving it odds of 649,739 to 1. This morning I had the ace, king, queen, jack, and ten of clubs!

    A bit later, my friend, Mary Anne, and I sat on the porch drinking tea. We had hoped to go for a bike ride, but now the predicted rain began to fall in earnest. She shared how sad she was feeling after the recent passing of her 34 year-old niece following five years of cancer treatment.

    We talked about how important it is to be open to communication, and just as she was sharing having talked to her niece’s fiance about that a rainbow appeared!

    We watched the rainbow hide and emerge, and hide and emerge, along with a faint double above. We both knew clearly that nature was showing us the nature of life and life after life in just the ways our hearts and words were speaking it to one another. It was an exquisite sharing.

    My nephew has had quite a journey — I have spoken of him before. After being incarcerated for many years and then working his way to release from parole, he has had a roller coaster as an over-the-road truck driver. Today he started a local job hauling concrete, but tonight he learned that he will not have access to transportation, extremely inconvenient given that the camper he has just moved onto the work lot has no electricity or water. Feeling grateful for the work but not at all sure how he can navigate life like this, he returned to the camper to find a co-worker / long-time-friend had left him a generator, a microwave, and a bag of food!


    He called a little bit ago because he had not yet been able to get the generator started. John and I went and picked up his food because he has no way to keep it cold, and does not want it to go to waste.

    As we were driving there, it came to mind how YEARS ago several of us helped the son of one of the women in our community get to work and back after he lost his license due to a DUI. He was a single dad with a young son of his own. I took him to work each Wednesday morning on my way to Kalamazoo and picked him up each Wednesday evening on my way home. Others drove one way or another. Each doing a part.

    Today I am wearing my Bee Kind t-shirt, and this evening I am reading words from Gary Zukav: “The Universe gave you an experience of grace. It provided exactly what you needed to transform an experience of a frightened part of your personality (fear and doubt) into an experience of a loving part of your personality (love and trust).”

  • Clock Chimes After 20 Years of Not Working

    The night of her dad’s visitation, they came home from the funeral home to several beautiful flowers on the steps. As they were carrying them in, they both heard the clock on the porch chime about twelve times. They went out (somewhat in shock) to see why this clock chimed after 20 years of not working.

    The pendulum wasn’t moving, but the clock chimed.

    They knew neither of them had bumped it.

    They also knew this broken clock’s chiming was a message from him!

  • Rock 107.1

    Her radio was tuned to Rock 107.1 when it started playing a Christian hymn. It can sometimes get static once in a while, but this was a clear song.

    It had never happened before, or again.

    That day, her dad had just passed.

    Often, our loved ones in spirit orchestrate events for us to hear music outside of ourselves that remind us of them. As mentioned, there are no coincidences. They work hard to send signs not only through music, but also signs you see, feel, hear, taste, and smell. These signs are their way of letting you know they are around, sending you love and comfort.

    ~ Messages in Music from Loved Ones in Spirit

  • Gold Accent Wall

    It was traumatic having been let go from the prestigious salon she had worked at for 13 years. All because she asked to have two weeks before coming back after the shut-down due to Covid.

    She and her husband prayed for guidance. She began doing skin care in clients’ homes, but it was soon obvious she needed a place to open a small salon. She saw an available space conveniently located next to her daughter’s school, but it was only 300 square feet. Too small…. Nothing else was available in the building, but she left her name with the landlord.

    That night she dreamed of the perfect space, including vivid detail right down to the furnishings. The following morning she made a sketch. The accent color was gold, her favorite color.

    Two weeks later she received a call about a larger space which had opened up in that building. It was perfect. In fact, it looked just like her drawing with a nice waiting room and a service room. She knew this was the space for her spa.*

    The back wall was already painted an accent color: gold!

    *You can read “Blessings in Abundance, by Tam Jones” of Fort Worth, Texas, in Guideposts Aug/Sept 2023. Check out Tam’s website at www.SKINBYTAMNICOLE.com and like Tam Nicole Esthetics Studio on Facebook, follow tam_nicole_Esthetics_studio on Instagram, phone or text at (817) 404-8641.

  • Waning Gibbous Moon

    I was restless at bedtime last night. It had been a pleasant day but late in the evening I got a text from a friend who had ended up at the ER over the weekend, John’s bedtime blood pressure reading was a bit elevated, and I read an email from a person who is asking something of me (again) that I am not comfortable with.

    The next email I read was from another friend. I did not respond to her before going to bed, but as I spent time answering her this morning it felt like a journal entry so I am sharing it here.

      What are some of the catalysts for you? I hope you are managing okay?

    D: The catalysts are feelings of being unsure, not trusting, afraid I will make a mistake that will bring about pain or loss. John has a primary physician; an endocrinologist for his thyroid condition; a neurologist because he had a TIA; two cardiologists because he had the quadruple bypass surgery (one in Michigan and one in Florida).

    They all have opinions about the medications and they make changes and he develops a side effect from the medication so they give him another medication to counteract that side effect. We end up constantly at the doctor’s office and living with our finger on his pulse instead of enjoying the quality of life we do have.

    The catalysts are always things we recognize from our practice: hindrances, worldly dharmas…. and we all have habit energies around grasping and aversion — things we want or don’t want.

      I have catalysts too 🙂 An ongoing deep sense of wanting to belong with a group I resonate with.

    D: Are you familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? From the bottom of the hierarchy upwards, the needs are physiological (food and clothing), safety (job security as well as physical or emotional safety), love and belonging needs (friendship or group affiliation), esteem, and self-actualization The idea is that the upper needs cannot be satisfied until the lower needs are. The sense of not belonging to a group blocks confidence and self-acceptance. It is an interesting way of seeing. Others are coming forth with more contemporary ways of looking at these with greater dimension, but they seem to follow this essential pattern.

    May you be happy; may you know love, may you know perfection and peace. That is the great prayer, isn’t it….

      There is also some fear, which I recognize is my lack of confidence and faith in the practice.

    I appreciate how some of the teachers of the direct path speak about it. Mooji and Adyashanti, for example. Seeking will keep us seeking.

    Perhaps because I am much older now I am more OKAY with what is. Even these current catalysts are gifts. I have watched John lose consciousness now twice, and both times in a doctor’s office!

    I had a dream MANY years ago. John had been hit in the head by a part of a boat, like a boom, while he was working at the dock. His head was bleeding profusely and I knew he was dying. I was sitting on the sand in shallow water holding him in my arms totally knowing he was dying and yet we were just present with one another in such deep love and devotion and gratitude for our lives together. It was beautiful.

    This summer I had the honor of watching a friend be held by his wife as he died in much that same way. Claudia held Wayne that way as he was dying.

    We are capable of living life and facing death with confidence that whatever happens it is OKAY.

    And in the moments when we are not feeling that it is OKAY we can let go of the grasping and allow our true essence to return. And it does. The moon is not always full in my sight but it is never larger nor smaller than it is…. And you and I are not always visibly awake in our thoughts and feelings and sensations (aggregates) but we are never more nor less awake.

      Have a good night 🙂

    I was a bit restless, but morning came and the windows are open and the air is fresh and my coffee is hot.

    Last night as John and I walked home after playing cards with Linda and Larry a beautiful waning gibbous moon hung low in the sky.

    “A waning gibbous moon phase is a time to look inwards and re-evaluate your goals. It’s a time to feel grateful for what has been this month and re-adjust your intentions moving forward.”


    I am grateful for you in the world, Dear Friend.

  • Our Real Power

    We cannot forget that our real power is not necessarily to change the world, but to make a world of change to the people we encounter every day. ~ Cory Booker

    Last Thursday morning while I was out on a bike ride I got a call from a friend here in the park, “I have some bad news.” I knew what she was going to say. “I just tested positive for Covid.”

    We had been together for a couple of hours the prior evening at the Glenairs Jam. Linda and Larry were not there but when I told her the news she sent me the current Covid exposure guidelines from the CDC.

      After being exposed to COVID-19 START PRECAUTIONS IMMEDIATELY. Wear a mask as soon as you find out you were exposed.

      Start counting from day 1. Day 0 is the day of your last exposure to someone with COVID-19, and day 1 is the first full day after your last exposure.

      CONTINUE PRECAUTIONS 10 full day because you can still develop COVID-19 up to 10 days after you have been exposed.

      Wear a high-quality mask or respirator (e.g., N95) any time you are around others inside your home or indoors in public.

    John cancelled his pool match with Charlie on Thursday and his practice music session with John Smith on Saturday, and he stayed home from coffee. I wore a mask when Linda Allen and Princess and I went for a bike ride, and during any errands I ran. We canceled our Saturday plans for the taco-bar-birthday celebration with my sister, Janis, and our brother-in-love, Larry, the birthday boy.

    This morning I was catching up on emails and read about how rather than developing skills for drawing on our inner resources, many of us developed skills for looking outward and reacting to whatever confronted us. Earlier in the week I got twisted up with our friend who hosts the jam sessions. He and his wife obviously were not isolating. Admittedly, they were on the other side of the room the evening of our exposure, but he said he believed they were exposed so their choice for navigating is deeper than where in the room they were on Wednesday.

    I am surprised that I am quite the stickler about following the guidelines because I am generally more of a rule-breaker than a rule-follower. (Common Metaprograms from the personality preferences in SCS/NLP.) Of course, you cannot do one without simultaneously doing the other. They reside in pairs – opposite ends of a continuum, just like heads and tails on a coin.

    I am not paranoid about Covid any more. I was. But I do not want to get ill or to be sick, and even more than that, I don’t want to knowingly expose someone else. For me, it is an easy choice to experience the frustration of missing something I was looking forward to.

    After I got twisted up with our friend, I later got twisted up with our daughter, Stacey, about having gotten twisted up with our friend. Both of them used the exact same words that sent me over the edge: “It is just like flu.” Well, that is not how I see it….

    So, I read a book.

    I did a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle. The title of this one was “Fun Fair Foods” and I made hamburgers for our dinner that night. LOL.

    I painted the deck box that sits on the front porch the same powder blue of our barn.

    Yesterday’s project was beautiful, bright new paint and hardware on the vanity in the guest bathroom.



    The book I read was Beaches, by Iris Rainer Dart. It is about two women who met as children on a beach during a summer vacation and how they first became pen pals, then life-long friends. As the stable one in the relationship was dying of cancer (SPOILER ALERT), the drama-queen stepped up to support her friend but over-stepped by bringing the woman’s young daughter there to be with her mom against the mom’s wishes.

    Needless to say, that did not go over well, with the friend saying essentially,”You had no right. I hate you. Get out of my house, I never want to see you again as long as I live.”

    The flamboyant-bordering-on-hystrionic friend’s calm response brought me a laugh mingled with a couple of tears: “I am glad you are the crazy one for a change.”

    Grateful to report that we have both tested negative for Covid, have no symptoms, and we are approaching the ten-day mark.

    Sometimes it is better to step over an obstacle than to try to go around a difficult situation. That may be our real power….

  • Empath

    She was catching up with Facebook while listening to the story of Heidi Craig who explains how she had a near-death experience while giving birth to her third child. Heidi said the messages she received helped her practice faith and forgiveness.

    At the exact moment Heidi was speaking about having suffered so much and gotten relief when she found a group for people called ’empaths’ a post from the Empath Sanctuary popped up. Here is the information in that post. Perhaps you or someone you know will benefit. Synchronicity is God’s way of remaining anonymous….

    (The image on the post shows the empath burnout cycle.)

    FEELING GOOD
    Start to recuperate
    Energy feels better
    Ready to get back into the world

    TAKE ON ALL THE THINGS.
    Not recognizing limits
    Over-commit
    Do too much

    BURN OUT
    You’re exhausted
    Can’t do anything
    Wonder what happened

    WITHDRAW & HIDE
    Have no energy for anyone or anything
    Don’t want to ‘people’
    But also feel lonely
    Feel stuck with no motivation

  • 25th Wedding Anniversary

    She had been thinking about her husband and missing him. He passed last year at this time.

    While out for her walk she looked down and saw a quarter.

    She picked it up.

    This year marked their 25th wedding anniversary.

    The quarter is now on her altar.

    Note* Looking through some stock photos for this post I found one. When I noticed the year I grabbed a pen and paper to check what year they were married… 1998. The year of this stock image!

  • Hello, Hawk…. Hello, Dad….

    She wrote an email message to some family members and a few very close friends:

    He’s been on my mind so much this past week, of course, it’s been a year since we were sitting with him while he made his transition. But this morning, very early, I wasn’t asleep, I guess it was more of a deep resting state. Eyes closed, relaxed, but aware. It was a kaleidoscope of shadows and light and I was trying to figure out what the shapes were, but it kept spinning and shifting. Suddenly this calm feeling washed over me at the same time I realized what I was seeing – A HAWK! The hawk was the light spinning around in the shadows.

    In the past year when I’ve been out in nature – hiking, kayaking, swimming – I get a visit, usually an adolescent Cooper’s Hawk. I know it’s a message and it always makes me smile.

    I am so grateful for all of you and knowing I can share this with you and you don’t think I’m a crazy person.

    Sending love out to all of you today!

    XOXO

    One reply:

    What a wonderful experience. I do remember the hawk right outside the room in that small tree.

    Another reply:

    Oh, thank you SO much for sharing!! After my husband died I saw Visions of swirling Lights, Doves, and Owls and I thought I was crazy – and so did many of my family and friends. I was so grateful for those that knew it was my husband and knew I wasn’t crazy. And I’m so grateful that I came to understand this too. Grateful you are open and connected so your Dad can get his messages through.

    Your dad is among us for sure and his deep love lives on in each of us. ❤️

    She wrote back:

    It’s amazing that we had similar experiences with the swirling and the birds! Thanks for sharing your experience. Sending hugs!

    From another friend:

    Your sharing your experience brings such joy!

    My deepest honor is loving and being loved by one another and truly knowing that people do leave their bodies, but they do not leave their loved ones.

    Thanking each one of you💟💟💟

    She sent this response:

    Thank you for being a big part of this process! It started with the hawk in your yard.

    And this from her sister:

    I’m glad you shared this!! I knew you’d been seeing hawks and I was a little disappointed that I hadn’t seen any but on Wednesday on my way home from work I saw a large hawk sitting on the sign in the townhouse I used to live in. It was so still that I thought it was fake but I watched in my rear view mirror and as soon as I was passed it, it flew off ♥️.

    And a couple of days later from his dear friend:

    I, too, have had him in my heart these past few weeks. Not that he isn’t always close.

    On Friday, July 24th, I was leaving for my last optometrist appointment after having cataract surgery.

    Just after pulling out of our driveway, I saw a large bird sitting on a post next to the road. Since there was no one behind me and out of curiosity, I backed up about half of a block to check it out. I stopped right next to it and noticed that it was a hawk just staring at me. I actually rolled my window down and said hello to the hawk. I set there for around 15-20 seconds and it seemed unfazed by my being that close. Now I realize why there was no traffic to make me hurry on my way. It was meant to be. The hawk was a message from him. How I miss him, but receiving messages like this, I know that he will always be close.

    Unfortunately, I had to get to my appointment and had to leave.

  • For Good

    A woman from New York and another from Oregon share a connection that can only come from beyond.

    When he passed, the heart of one mother’s son went to the son of another mother.

    Saving Life Organ Donor Flat Vector Icon or Round Badge with Hand Holding and Giving Human Heart Isolated on White Background Illustration. Organ Donation and Medicine Transplantation Surgery Symbol

    Several years later when the two mom’s meet, they discover that the last song sung to the “donor” by his mother was also sung to the “recipient” by his mother.

    The song? “For Good” from Wicked.

    (Note* These two moms sang a duet on America’s Got Talent to spread the word about organ donation.)

    Because I knew you,
    I have been changed
    For good.